September 23, 2025 • 18 mins
How do you know when you're ready to make a relationship official? Britt tests Laura on her knowledge or rare phobias and we discuss Pen Licences.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hi Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
live on the Free iHeart app. Are you ready? Good
pickup with Brittle and Laura Burn? Baby? Or what our
windows down? My world?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Reason the dust only good?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Bab dougle down. I'm done much, but yeah I'm not.
I'll big get and what I want. It don't matter where.
This is the pickup. Hi guys, you're listening to the
Pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
And the news is out. The cat is out of
the bag.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Laura Burn has been replaced on the pickup by none
other than her husband, Maddie J.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
If I was gonna get replaced by anyone, I think
I'm I'm most okay with it being by my husband.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Well, I didn't really get a choice, so it was like,
hey this Maddy Ja, No, you.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Got a choice.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
We asked I don't lame, no, no, not asked to
be fair.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
The bosses were the ones who made the decision, and yeah,
look we like to keep it in the family, in
our household.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
So I didn't even ask who you want to go with?
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I were like, this is it.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I was like, cool, should we do a chemistry chests?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
With whoever.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
They're like, no, we picked him Mattie Jay.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
I mean, look, if we're going to keep it close
to the source, and we're going to keep it as
much within the pick Up family as possible, it doesn't
get much closer than having my husband fill in for
the next two and a half months.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I feel like he is the male version of you.
You guys are very similar. We do absolutely kale.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
He's good fun though. He's here for a good time.
He's going to make for some great radio for the
next two and a half months.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
I'll be the judge of Well.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Look, we did announce it on yesterday's show. If you
missed it, matt is going to be in the studio
as of October six, and I'll be away on my
maternity leave having a lovely holiday. Are we call ingim
maternity leave a holiday?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Now?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
It's actually not feel it does feel like one in
comparison to coming into work.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Wow, why don't you make work sound worse?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Look up next, I love you, guys. Miss I'm going
to miss my job. Grace.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Look at her backfire and she's like she she throws
us out of the glass, and she's like, no.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
I love it. Now we're talking about relations specifically, when's
the right time to ask someone if they also want
to be exclusive with you? Like? Is there a certain
number of dates that you should be bringing up this question?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I don't think there are rules. It's sort of like
how long is a piece of string? You feel it out?
Speaker 3 (02:24):
You can't just go in willing nearly too early, but
you can't wait too long to get friend zoned.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
You also needs not very exclusive. I think you just
have to feel it out for how long?
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Because I felt it out for a year once waiting
for them to tell me they wanted to be with me,
and then they said no.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
So I think the second that you feel like you
want to be exclusive is okay to say, hey, where
are you at? Like are you seeing other people? Because
I'm not seeing other people? And I think it's okay
to do it that way.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
So how early do you think is not too early? Then?
Like do you think like one day? Two days? Like
is there any use whenever you feel it?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
You can't put a date time on it, like you
go on four dates in a week, or you could
go on four dates in four months.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I think it needs to be a feeling.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I like this because I read an article recently that
was talking about it. And the reason why I kind
of brought up a few questions for me is that
I remember when I was dated, and I go back
to this one specific example where for an entire year
we were just dating and we hadn't put a label
on it.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
We've all been there, and like I met his mom, and.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I would go to his house every night and I
would marry it literally, like we shared our bank account,
we did everything that a couple would do. And then
when I raised it with him, he was like, oh, no, no, no,
I'm not looking for a relationship. And I was like, sorry, sorry,
what was the last year of our lives?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
We're in one?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I thought this was a relation. I didn't really I
knew he hadn't put the girlfriend boyfriend label on it.
But I also think the reason why I never brought
it up with him, or was never that direct about it,
was because scared of the answer. I was scared of
the answer.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I had his finger and a lot of pies.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
News that finger was in a lot of pies, and
You're like, it's okay, our pretenda don't know?
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Yeah I did. I think I stuck my head in
the sand and didn't ask the question purely because knew
the answer. No, I don't think I knew. I think
I was surprised when he I was shocked when he
didn't want to date me.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I was shocked after four years when he said no, Laura.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
No, I was surprised by his answer. I guess he
was just like quite happy to coast with having like
a pretend fillin girlfriend for as long as possible. And
because I was so like unsure about all, not like
I wanted to be the cool girl and not put
pressure on him.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
But when I don't even have boundaries, I'm so laid back.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
You can do which one?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
No, I won't be with anyone else.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
But I'm cool, So you do it.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I don't have boundaries. Literally sums up my dating in
my twenties.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Yeah, your online dating PROMPTI I'm Laura burns zero batteries
twenty eight no boundaries.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Yeah zero is self confidence and has no boundaries or.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
POLLOPI play crush my soul, destroy me.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
My bank pin.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
No.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I really like this. The reason for that is because
so this like conversation was happy with a girlfriend. And
also this article I read about it was saying that,
you know, it's not like you have a you know,
like when you go to a cafe and you have
like a coffee redeemed card, you punched ten holes in it,
and then you can go and ask about relationships. It
was like, if you were at a point where you're
thinking about some type of exclusivity, that's when you should
(05:12):
be having the conversation, regardless of what their answer is,
because if the answer is that they're not interested in it,
better to get yourself out of that relationship faster and sooner.
The more time you spend with someone does not in
no way equate to them making a commitment to you.
It just equates to you getting more emotionally invested in them.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
You know what I say? The biggest lesson I learned
knowledge is power. That's my quote.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
We were actually had like on our podcast Life on
Cup podcast.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
We had a listener to write him not that long ago,
and I thought, personally this was wild. She was like, Hey,
I've been in this relationship for about eighteen months, twelve
to eighteen months. He lives overseas. I've moved to a
foreign country to be with him. We lived together.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
She's like, when do you think it's okay to tell
him I love him. That to me was wild because
I was like.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Wow, you guys have moved countries and been together for
eighteen months and you're living overseas and you haven't said.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
You love each other.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Like these conversations need to be had way sooner. How
do you know he's not dappling in other people if
you haven't had that conversation, Because I.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Think sometimes I don't know. I think that's a little
bit different. And the reason why I say that is
purely because some people don't use the word I love
you as much and maybe all other things. They've had
the exclusivity chat, they've made big commitments to each other.
He's probably like, yeah, do of course we do, but
they if.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
You're not saying it, there's no dogs you reckon.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yeah, Laura, did that happen to you as well? Probably?
It's like Dart, Laura, I'm getting some real revelations here. Anyway,
don't come to me for dating advice. Everyone or do
and just don't do what I did in my twenties,
to do the opposite, the complete opposite.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Lawsy, do you have any unreasonable fears or phobias? I
guess I want to say phobia, but phobia is a
bit different, but like an unreasonable fear.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, yes I do. I don't have a phobia like
I don't have like a clinical phobia where I'll run
out the door screaming. I cannot be in the same
room as someone brushing their teeth or chewing chewing gum.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
That is not mine? Is Dolmartis, Oh, I love chased
me around a party with dol Maarty that it's the
feel and the texture in my fingers and my mouth.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Grace, can we please get a tin of Dommarti's and
I'm going to throw one at Briton on tomorrow's show.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
We did that last year.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
I forgot. Did I throw it at her on the show? Yeah?
You did. I'm really pregnant and my memory is not
good anymore. Well, everything's gone down the gurglar.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I found this really interesting.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
According to Psychology Today, at least sixty percent of adults
admit to having an unreasonable fear.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
And then it went.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Into like a phobia is the number one most googled
phobia in Australia.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
I was gobsmacked at these phobias.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
I went down a phobia rabbit hole of things I
didn't even know existed.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I disagree. I think phobias are totally reasonable. The reason
why I have a deep inherent fear of chewing gum
and it makes me just like it makes my skin crawl.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Sorry, I did think we moved on before.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Sorry, I will tell you. When I was little, I
almost died from choking on chewing gum, and since then
I can't. I can't have that, I can't be near
at my Yeah, I end up in hospital. It was
really tragic. Took a serious So glad that I'm still
here to tell the tale.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I am glad you're here. I don't want to revisit that.
Let's move on. Okay, So the number one most searched.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Fobia in Australia is agora phobia, which is the fear
of leaving your house.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
I believe it or not, that's the number one. I
thought it was a fear of symmetrical little dots, so
I was really wrong anyway, that was really random. Well, No, the.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Number two most searched is trooper phobia, which is a
fear of holes.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Yes, that's the little dots one.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
I didn't know people were so scared of holes.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Okay, so there's what what is happening? There is this
this it's not a flower, but it's kind of like
a seed pod that you sometimes get in floral arrangements.
And I remember I posted on Instagram it's a beautiful
bunch of flowers that I had received, and it had
this random little I think it's called a lotus pot
and it's got these little holes in the top of it.
The amount of people who messaged me and were like,
(09:04):
oh my god, I am so triggered by that flower.
I was like, that's weird. How do you get through life? Well?
Speaker 3 (09:10):
I thought of the brand new pickup benchmark and you
game Brittany's phobia quiz.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
What I'm going to do, Laura, is I have gone so.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Deep to find the weirdest, most unusual stranger phobias. It's
three options, multile choice. You're gonna pick what you think
it is and I'm going to score you.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Can I call a friend, grace you my backup? No?
I wrote these.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Questions all right, Iraqi beauty oh phobia.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
It's a fear of beautiful spiders?
Speaker 3 (09:38):
So is it a a fear of a spider crawling
into your ear at night? B a fear of peanut
butter sticking to the roof of your mouth, or see
fear of the number eight.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I think it's a fear of a spider crawling into
your ear.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Wrong, it is a fear of peanut butter sticking to
the roof of your mouth.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
The weirdest phobia ever.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Do you know when it's like really dry and you
can't get off the roof.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
What's way worse than that is the fear of dry
milo hitting you in the back of the throat. That's
a real fear. Yeah, okay, we've all been there.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Nomophobia, fear of homophobia, fear of the sound of squeaky shoes,
fear of being without your mobile phone.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I'm pretty sure homophobia is the phobia of homosexuals. Yes,
I'm so glad to put.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Is it a fear of the fear of that?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
No, I don't. I don't think it is. I think
it's squeeze shoes.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Wrong, fear of being without your mobile phone.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
You would have that. I'm really bad at this game.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Plutophobia fear of the planet. Is it a fear of
outer space?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Fear of money or fear of having too much responsibility?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Fear of too much money. Yes, one point on the score. Fantastic.
All right, what's the next one. I'm on a roll.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Now you've got one.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Xanthophobia, fear of gardening, fear of roller scapes.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Fear of the color yellow.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I think it's the color yellow. I just took a
little while to warm up to this. I think I'm
going to be good at it now.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
All right?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
What about this one? Man hit me?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Glow phobia, fear of traveling in a plane, fear of balloons,
fear of round fruit.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Oh it's tricky, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I am gonna say being in a plane, fear of balloons.
I was going to go that one, and then I
second guessed myself.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You might get this one.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Pogona phobia, fear of beards, fear of pogo sticks, fear
of the smell of ants.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
The smell of ants. Wrong, damn it.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Pogonophobia is a fear of beards.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Oh I don't have that. I like a beard inside
of it and wrap it around me. This one, I.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Think you'll get. I threw an easy one in for you.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Phobophobia is it the fear of having a phobia, fear
of people being afraid of you?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Or fear of talking on the phone.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I think it's the fear of having a phobia.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yes, three on the board.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
It's surely you can't have a fear of having a phobia,
because then it's not really a phobia, right, but.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
You are this is from science.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Do But if you're so from that, you're going to
be frightened about something, just stop being frightened about all
of the things and then you're fine.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
That is said by someone that doesn't have phobophobia.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
No, I don't have phobophobia. Sorry.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Last one, yep, this is all or nothing. You can
win the you can get one hundred percent if you
get this.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I like that. The rules just keep changing on this game.
I'm really into its.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Locano phobia, fear of vegetables, fear of people named Lachlan,
or a fear of the lockness monster.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I'm gonna say vegetables and she's taking a hundred. I
know so much about de seated fears. Isn't that so unusual?
It's very sad. I think it would be very very
hard to get through life having like a debilitating fear
of something that other people think is irrational.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Because the fear was Lachlan and He's like, hey, I'm
pretty high on Lochlan.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
My first boyfriend's name was Lachlan, so I know I
don't have that. He was nice. I don't know of
all the boyfriends. I have nothing bad to say about him.
He was a lovely boy.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
That's wonderful news. Your relationship hisstory. Okay cool. If you
have a phobia, call us up, Laura. I wanted to
cast your mind back.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
I want to take you on a trip down memory lane,
all the way back to year three.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I think it was year three.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
What's that an eight years old?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Oh missus Gilli.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, she really didn't like me. That was a long
time ago.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Listen to this story that has sort of kicked.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Off on the internet g Flip our very own Ossie
g Flip who's married to an American Krashelle.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
They've sort of gone viral for comparing like school yard tales.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Have listened to this.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
So in Australia, when you're like eight or nine, you
do a test to deem if you are ready to
upgrade from a pencil to a pen You got to
make sure it's all legible and your letters look great,
and then you teach you will grade you and then
you'll get a certificate that says that now you can
use your pen. But apparently Americans y'all don't get a
(14:04):
pen license and you're outally using pencils to in your team.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
But also, so Jack, does that mean they are Americans
walking around using pen's unlicensed.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Unregistered pen users. That isn't a fair wild I remember
our pen licenses were a bit later. I think they
were like you four year five, and every single kid
in my class had received a pen license, and then
I was the only one who didn't have it. But
when you graduated into year five, everyone just automatically got it.
So I never got a pen license. So I'm also
walking around unregistered.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
You are also unlicensed.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
But I just I remember vividly feeling so singled out
and so stupid, and it's just like, what a silly thing,
Like why create that dynamic of like, oh, well, some
kids are better than other kids in a class setting.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I think it's fine. I'll stop all this stuff of
everyone being equal.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
We're not all equal. Some people some people.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Write better incursive, and it's okay for somebody to be
ahead at something else.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
We actually took a step up.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
I'm pretty sure we had three levels, like you went
from pencil to blue pen, and then you couldn't go
straight to a black pan, and you definitely couldn't be
using a red pan.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
But no one was ever allowed to use a red pen.
That was only the teachers. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
And then also I do remember this is the part
that sucked, Like I think it's okay for some kid
to be better at something than someone else whatever, But
I remember this kid that was left handed, and so
every time they would write, it would rub the ink
as they were writing, and so they never got it
because it always looked too messy.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
That's see, that's not prejudice.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Yeah, I might have made that story up, but it's
definitely happened to kids.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Sure. I think it's an interesting one because I feel
like stuff has changed a little bit in schools, like
because now they're on iPads, nobody who can code, because
there's quite a lot of like, don't compare yourself to
other students. You know, you're running your own.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Race blah blah, and is the thief of joy?
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Yeah, and so like you know, obviously with kids learning
to read, So my daughter she's in kindergarten and she's
like learning to read. They have readers, they're different levels.
And the other day she came home and she told
us like where she was in regards to other kids
in the class. And she's really excited because she's she's
a really good reader. It's something that she's actually she
excels at, and it's because it's an interest of hers. Right,
Not all kids like reading, some kids like soccer. It's
(16:14):
just different kids. And she was super proud. And then
there was like this kind of question mark, and it's
something that had been raised a little bit by teachers
and stuff as well as like you're not allowed to
encourage the kids to compare. You're not allowed to encourage
the kids to be like, oh, well, I'm on this
level and other kids are on this level. And I
was like, okay, I understand that, but you're the system
(16:35):
that's created the levels, Like you can't create the levels
and then have a comparison system. But that's one to
six and then get angry at a kid who's doing
really well and they're excited about it.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
It's also not setting these kids up for real real life.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
That's not how life works.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Also, it's okay to be better at something, but as
long as you explain to the child that like, hey,
they're going to be better than you at something as well,
Like they excel at this and you excel at this.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
And that's okay.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
The answer isn't to pretend that we all are equal
at everything, because we're not.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
And like I just like everyone gets a highly commended award.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Or participation award. Yes, I get participation awards. I'm not
saying that, like you shouldn't have those.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
It's like no one gets a rivet No, I'm not
saying that, but I just think we are.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
I know the intention is good.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Personally, I think we're setting these kids up for failure
if you are trying to teach them that everyone is
equal and not to strive to be better than somebody else.
We want to strive to be good at things like
That's why we have the best athletes in the world.
Those kids didn't grow up safe plative it's so yeah,
like it's.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Okay, yeah, look, I mean I have I have very
mixed feelings because I think it works for some kids
and it doesn't work for others. You know, some kids
are super competitive and some are and some it would
actually do the opposite. It demotivates them because they feel
like they're not good at anything. So I understand the
logic behind it, but it is a really tricky one
when the system itself is geared towards being comparative. I
(17:58):
don't know anyway, Look, I would love to know depend
licenses still exist, if they still a thing.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Oh do you know what the other thing is? Before
we go?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Sorry, here we are not only the pen license, but
there was also a running writing license. You weren't allowed
to running right like cursive and link your letters unless
you graduated.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I remember that was in my school. Was elite, elite,
very advanced.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Like you should support public where'd you go? Shout out?
All right, guys, that is it from us today.
Hi Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
live on the Free iHeart app. Are you ready? Good
pickup with Brittle and Laura Burn? Baby? Or what our
windows down? My world?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Reason the dust only good?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Bab dougle down. I'm done much, but yeah I'm not.
I'll big get and what I want. It don't matter where.
This is the pickup. Hi guys, you're listening to the
Pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
And the news is out. The cat is out of
the bag.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Laura Burn has been replaced on the pickup by none
other than her husband, Maddie J.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
If I was gonna get replaced by anyone, I think
I'm I'm most okay with it being by my husband.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Well, I didn't really get a choice, so it was like,
hey this Maddy Ja, No, you.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Got a choice.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
We asked I don't lame, no, no, not asked to
be fair.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
The bosses were the ones who made the decision, and yeah,
look we like to keep it in the family, in
our household.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
So I didn't even ask who you want to go with?
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I were like, this is it.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I was like, cool, should we do a chemistry chests?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
With whoever.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
They're like, no, we picked him Mattie Jay.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
I mean, look, if we're going to keep it close
to the source, and we're going to keep it as
much within the pick Up family as possible, it doesn't
get much closer than having my husband fill in for
the next two and a half months.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I feel like he is the male version of you.
You guys are very similar. We do absolutely kale.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
He's good fun though. He's here for a good time.
He's going to make for some great radio for the
next two and a half months.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
I'll be the judge of Well.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Look, we did announce it on yesterday's show. If you
missed it, matt is going to be in the studio
as of October six, and I'll be away on my
maternity leave having a lovely holiday. Are we call ingim
maternity leave a holiday?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Now?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
It's actually not feel it does feel like one in
comparison to coming into work.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Wow, why don't you make work sound worse?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Look up next, I love you, guys. Miss I'm going
to miss my job. Grace.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Look at her backfire and she's like she she throws
us out of the glass, and she's like, no.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
I love it. Now we're talking about relations specifically, when's
the right time to ask someone if they also want
to be exclusive with you? Like? Is there a certain
number of dates that you should be bringing up this question?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I don't think there are rules. It's sort of like
how long is a piece of string? You feel it out?
Speaker 3 (02:24):
You can't just go in willing nearly too early, but
you can't wait too long to get friend zoned.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
You also needs not very exclusive. I think you just
have to feel it out for how long?
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Because I felt it out for a year once waiting
for them to tell me they wanted to be with me,
and then they said no.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
So I think the second that you feel like you
want to be exclusive is okay to say, hey, where
are you at? Like are you seeing other people? Because
I'm not seeing other people? And I think it's okay
to do it that way.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
So how early do you think is not too early? Then?
Like do you think like one day? Two days? Like
is there any use whenever you feel it?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
You can't put a date time on it, like you
go on four dates in a week, or you could
go on four dates in four months.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I think it needs to be a feeling.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I like this because I read an article recently that
was talking about it. And the reason why I kind
of brought up a few questions for me is that
I remember when I was dated, and I go back
to this one specific example where for an entire year
we were just dating and we hadn't put a label
on it.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
We've all been there, and like I met his mom, and.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I would go to his house every night and I
would marry it literally, like we shared our bank account,
we did everything that a couple would do. And then
when I raised it with him, he was like, oh, no, no, no,
I'm not looking for a relationship. And I was like, sorry, sorry,
what was the last year of our lives?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
We're in one?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I thought this was a relation. I didn't really I
knew he hadn't put the girlfriend boyfriend label on it.
But I also think the reason why I never brought
it up with him, or was never that direct about it,
was because scared of the answer. I was scared of
the answer.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I had his finger and a lot of pies.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
News that finger was in a lot of pies, and
You're like, it's okay, our pretenda don't know?
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Yeah I did. I think I stuck my head in
the sand and didn't ask the question purely because knew
the answer. No, I don't think I knew. I think
I was surprised when he I was shocked when he
didn't want to date me.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I was shocked after four years when he said no, Laura.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
No, I was surprised by his answer. I guess he
was just like quite happy to coast with having like
a pretend fillin girlfriend for as long as possible. And
because I was so like unsure about all, not like
I wanted to be the cool girl and not put
pressure on him.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
But when I don't even have boundaries, I'm so laid back.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
You can do which one?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
No, I won't be with anyone else.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
But I'm cool, So you do it.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I don't have boundaries. Literally sums up my dating in
my twenties.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Yeah, your online dating PROMPTI I'm Laura burns zero batteries
twenty eight no boundaries.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Yeah zero is self confidence and has no boundaries or.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
POLLOPI play crush my soul, destroy me.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
My bank pin.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
No.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I really like this. The reason for that is because
so this like conversation was happy with a girlfriend. And
also this article I read about it was saying that,
you know, it's not like you have a you know,
like when you go to a cafe and you have
like a coffee redeemed card, you punched ten holes in it,
and then you can go and ask about relationships. It
was like, if you were at a point where you're
thinking about some type of exclusivity, that's when you should
(05:12):
be having the conversation, regardless of what their answer is,
because if the answer is that they're not interested in it,
better to get yourself out of that relationship faster and sooner.
The more time you spend with someone does not in
no way equate to them making a commitment to you.
It just equates to you getting more emotionally invested in them.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
You know what I say? The biggest lesson I learned
knowledge is power. That's my quote.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
We were actually had like on our podcast Life on
Cup podcast.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
We had a listener to write him not that long ago,
and I thought, personally this was wild. She was like, Hey,
I've been in this relationship for about eighteen months, twelve
to eighteen months. He lives overseas. I've moved to a
foreign country to be with him. We lived together.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
She's like, when do you think it's okay to tell
him I love him. That to me was wild because
I was like.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Wow, you guys have moved countries and been together for
eighteen months and you're living overseas and you haven't said.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
You love each other.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Like these conversations need to be had way sooner. How
do you know he's not dappling in other people if
you haven't had that conversation, Because I.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Think sometimes I don't know. I think that's a little
bit different. And the reason why I say that is
purely because some people don't use the word I love
you as much and maybe all other things. They've had
the exclusivity chat, they've made big commitments to each other.
He's probably like, yeah, do of course we do, but
they if.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
You're not saying it, there's no dogs you reckon.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yeah, Laura, did that happen to you as well? Probably?
It's like Dart, Laura, I'm getting some real revelations here. Anyway,
don't come to me for dating advice. Everyone or do
and just don't do what I did in my twenties,
to do the opposite, the complete opposite.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Lawsy, do you have any unreasonable fears or phobias? I
guess I want to say phobia, but phobia is a
bit different, but like an unreasonable fear.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, yes I do. I don't have a phobia like
I don't have like a clinical phobia where I'll run
out the door screaming. I cannot be in the same
room as someone brushing their teeth or chewing chewing gum.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
That is not mine? Is Dolmartis, Oh, I love chased
me around a party with dol Maarty that it's the
feel and the texture in my fingers and my mouth.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Grace, can we please get a tin of Dommarti's and
I'm going to throw one at Briton on tomorrow's show.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
We did that last year.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
I forgot. Did I throw it at her on the show? Yeah?
You did. I'm really pregnant and my memory is not
good anymore. Well, everything's gone down the gurglar.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I found this really interesting.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
According to Psychology Today, at least sixty percent of adults
admit to having an unreasonable fear.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
And then it went.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Into like a phobia is the number one most googled
phobia in Australia.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
I was gobsmacked at these phobias.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
I went down a phobia rabbit hole of things I
didn't even know existed.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I disagree. I think phobias are totally reasonable. The reason
why I have a deep inherent fear of chewing gum
and it makes me just like it makes my skin crawl.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Sorry, I did think we moved on before.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Sorry, I will tell you. When I was little, I
almost died from choking on chewing gum, and since then
I can't. I can't have that, I can't be near
at my Yeah, I end up in hospital. It was
really tragic. Took a serious So glad that I'm still
here to tell the tale.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I am glad you're here. I don't want to revisit that.
Let's move on. Okay, So the number one most searched.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Fobia in Australia is agora phobia, which is the fear
of leaving your house.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
I believe it or not, that's the number one. I
thought it was a fear of symmetrical little dots, so
I was really wrong anyway, that was really random. Well, No, the.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Number two most searched is trooper phobia, which is a
fear of holes.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Yes, that's the little dots one.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
I didn't know people were so scared of holes.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Okay, so there's what what is happening? There is this
this it's not a flower, but it's kind of like
a seed pod that you sometimes get in floral arrangements.
And I remember I posted on Instagram it's a beautiful
bunch of flowers that I had received, and it had
this random little I think it's called a lotus pot
and it's got these little holes in the top of it.
The amount of people who messaged me and were like,
(09:04):
oh my god, I am so triggered by that flower.
I was like, that's weird. How do you get through life? Well?
Speaker 3 (09:10):
I thought of the brand new pickup benchmark and you
game Brittany's phobia quiz.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
What I'm going to do, Laura, is I have gone so.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Deep to find the weirdest, most unusual stranger phobias. It's
three options, multile choice. You're gonna pick what you think
it is and I'm going to score you.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Can I call a friend, grace you my backup? No?
I wrote these.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Questions all right, Iraqi beauty oh phobia.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
It's a fear of beautiful spiders?
Speaker 3 (09:38):
So is it a a fear of a spider crawling
into your ear at night? B a fear of peanut
butter sticking to the roof of your mouth, or see
fear of the number eight.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I think it's a fear of a spider crawling into
your ear.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Wrong, it is a fear of peanut butter sticking to
the roof of your mouth.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
The weirdest phobia ever.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Do you know when it's like really dry and you
can't get off the roof.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
What's way worse than that is the fear of dry
milo hitting you in the back of the throat. That's
a real fear. Yeah, okay, we've all been there.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Nomophobia, fear of homophobia, fear of the sound of squeaky shoes,
fear of being without your mobile phone.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I'm pretty sure homophobia is the phobia of homosexuals. Yes,
I'm so glad to put.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Is it a fear of the fear of that?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
No, I don't. I don't think it is. I think
it's squeeze shoes.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Wrong, fear of being without your mobile phone.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
You would have that. I'm really bad at this game.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Plutophobia fear of the planet. Is it a fear of
outer space?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Fear of money or fear of having too much responsibility?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Fear of too much money. Yes, one point on the score. Fantastic.
All right, what's the next one. I'm on a roll.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Now you've got one.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Xanthophobia, fear of gardening, fear of roller scapes.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Fear of the color yellow.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I think it's the color yellow. I just took a
little while to warm up to this. I think I'm
going to be good at it now.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
All right?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
What about this one? Man hit me?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Glow phobia, fear of traveling in a plane, fear of balloons,
fear of round fruit.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Oh it's tricky, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I am gonna say being in a plane, fear of balloons.
I was going to go that one, and then I
second guessed myself.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You might get this one.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Pogona phobia, fear of beards, fear of pogo sticks, fear
of the smell of ants.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
The smell of ants. Wrong, damn it.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Pogonophobia is a fear of beards.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Oh I don't have that. I like a beard inside
of it and wrap it around me. This one, I.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Think you'll get. I threw an easy one in for you.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Phobophobia is it the fear of having a phobia, fear
of people being afraid of you?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Or fear of talking on the phone.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I think it's the fear of having a phobia.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yes, three on the board.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
It's surely you can't have a fear of having a phobia,
because then it's not really a phobia, right, but.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
You are this is from science.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Do But if you're so from that, you're going to
be frightened about something, just stop being frightened about all
of the things and then you're fine.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
That is said by someone that doesn't have phobophobia.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
No, I don't have phobophobia. Sorry.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Last one, yep, this is all or nothing. You can
win the you can get one hundred percent if you
get this.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I like that. The rules just keep changing on this game.
I'm really into its.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Locano phobia, fear of vegetables, fear of people named Lachlan,
or a fear of the lockness monster.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I'm gonna say vegetables and she's taking a hundred. I
know so much about de seated fears. Isn't that so unusual?
It's very sad. I think it would be very very
hard to get through life having like a debilitating fear
of something that other people think is irrational.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Because the fear was Lachlan and He's like, hey, I'm
pretty high on Lochlan.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
My first boyfriend's name was Lachlan, so I know I
don't have that. He was nice. I don't know of
all the boyfriends. I have nothing bad to say about him.
He was a lovely boy.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
That's wonderful news. Your relationship hisstory. Okay cool. If you
have a phobia, call us up, Laura. I wanted to
cast your mind back.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
I want to take you on a trip down memory lane,
all the way back to year three.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I think it was year three.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
What's that an eight years old?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Oh missus Gilli.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, she really didn't like me. That was a long
time ago.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Listen to this story that has sort of kicked.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Off on the internet g Flip our very own Ossie
g Flip who's married to an American Krashelle.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
They've sort of gone viral for comparing like school yard tales.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Have listened to this.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
So in Australia, when you're like eight or nine, you
do a test to deem if you are ready to
upgrade from a pencil to a pen You got to
make sure it's all legible and your letters look great,
and then you teach you will grade you and then
you'll get a certificate that says that now you can
use your pen. But apparently Americans y'all don't get a
(14:04):
pen license and you're outally using pencils to in your team.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
But also, so Jack, does that mean they are Americans
walking around using pen's unlicensed.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Unregistered pen users. That isn't a fair wild I remember
our pen licenses were a bit later. I think they
were like you four year five, and every single kid
in my class had received a pen license, and then
I was the only one who didn't have it. But
when you graduated into year five, everyone just automatically got it.
So I never got a pen license. So I'm also
walking around unregistered.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
You are also unlicensed.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
But I just I remember vividly feeling so singled out
and so stupid, and it's just like, what a silly thing,
Like why create that dynamic of like, oh, well, some
kids are better than other kids in a class setting.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I think it's fine. I'll stop all this stuff of
everyone being equal.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
We're not all equal. Some people some people.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Write better incursive, and it's okay for somebody to be
ahead at something else.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
We actually took a step up.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
I'm pretty sure we had three levels, like you went
from pencil to blue pen, and then you couldn't go
straight to a black pan, and you definitely couldn't be
using a red pan.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
But no one was ever allowed to use a red pen.
That was only the teachers. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
And then also I do remember this is the part
that sucked, Like I think it's okay for some kid
to be better at something than someone else whatever, But
I remember this kid that was left handed, and so
every time they would write, it would rub the ink
as they were writing, and so they never got it
because it always looked too messy.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
That's see, that's not prejudice.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Yeah, I might have made that story up, but it's
definitely happened to kids.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Sure. I think it's an interesting one because I feel
like stuff has changed a little bit in schools, like
because now they're on iPads, nobody who can code, because
there's quite a lot of like, don't compare yourself to
other students. You know, you're running your own.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Race blah blah, and is the thief of joy?
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Yeah, and so like you know, obviously with kids learning
to read, So my daughter she's in kindergarten and she's
like learning to read. They have readers, they're different levels.
And the other day she came home and she told
us like where she was in regards to other kids
in the class. And she's really excited because she's she's
a really good reader. It's something that she's actually she
excels at, and it's because it's an interest of hers. Right,
Not all kids like reading, some kids like soccer. It's
(16:14):
just different kids. And she was super proud. And then
there was like this kind of question mark, and it's
something that had been raised a little bit by teachers
and stuff as well as like you're not allowed to
encourage the kids to compare. You're not allowed to encourage
the kids to be like, oh, well, I'm on this
level and other kids are on this level. And I
was like, okay, I understand that, but you're the system
(16:35):
that's created the levels, Like you can't create the levels
and then have a comparison system. But that's one to
six and then get angry at a kid who's doing
really well and they're excited about it.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
It's also not setting these kids up for real real life.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
That's not how life works.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Also, it's okay to be better at something, but as
long as you explain to the child that like, hey,
they're going to be better than you at something as well,
Like they excel at this and you excel at this.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
And that's okay.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
The answer isn't to pretend that we all are equal
at everything, because we're not.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
And like I just like everyone gets a highly commended award.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Or participation award. Yes, I get participation awards. I'm not
saying that, like you shouldn't have those.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
It's like no one gets a rivet No, I'm not
saying that, but I just think we are.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
I know the intention is good.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Personally, I think we're setting these kids up for failure
if you are trying to teach them that everyone is
equal and not to strive to be better than somebody else.
We want to strive to be good at things like
That's why we have the best athletes in the world.
Those kids didn't grow up safe plative it's so yeah,
like it's.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Okay, yeah, look, I mean I have I have very
mixed feelings because I think it works for some kids
and it doesn't work for others. You know, some kids
are super competitive and some are and some it would
actually do the opposite. It demotivates them because they feel
like they're not good at anything. So I understand the
logic behind it, but it is a really tricky one
when the system itself is geared towards being comparative. I
(17:58):
don't know anyway, Look, I would love to know depend
licenses still exist, if they still a thing.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Oh do you know what the other thing is? Before
we go?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Sorry, here we are not only the pen license, but
there was also a running writing license. You weren't allowed
to running right like cursive and link your letters unless
you graduated.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I remember that was in my school. Was elite, elite,
very advanced.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Like you should support public where'd you go? Shout out?
All right, guys, that is it from us today.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.