February 5, 2025 • 19 mins
Married At First Sight Expert John Aiken joined Britt & Laura to chat about whether the experts ACTUALLY have a say in pairing the couples, who the biggest red flags are, how the hell two of the couples already knew each other and which couple has the biggest red flags.
He also clarifies whether there was an actual b*tt pl*g on the shelf behind him in that episode.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Now we are talking about the show that everyone is
talking about, and I'm very sorry to my husband, but
it's not I'm a celebrity.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Get me out of here. We talk about that enough
enough enough.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
It's the one that I'm missing out on at the
moment that I would love to be watching Married at
First Sight. I have watched every single season and we
are currently on season twelve.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
But you've been keeping up. You've been at least keeping
up with what's happening this year.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Do you know what I'm trying to keep up? So
I'm going to make an admission here. I have not
been a Maths watcher in the last twelve seasons. I try,
and it gives me wild anxiety, like the absolute train
wrecks on that show.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
I come the.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
People, but sometimes the relationships themselves, the relations sometimes the people, no,
sometimes the people too like sometimes I want to I'm
all about love.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
We love love, but sometimes I want to throw my
remote at the screen. But we are very honored to
be in the presence of Relationship Expert Royalty Maths.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Greatness, Maths Greatness.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
We have John Aiken here, relationship Expert, also the man
who is responsible for pairing some of these seemingly mismatch
pairs together.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Yes, indeed, and it's great to be here. Yeah, it's
nice to be in studio with you both. It's season twelve,
which is amazing because we didn't really see it happening
in this way. You know, when you start a reality show,
you're kind of not sure whether it'll hit or miss.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
You're just saying that the ratings are through the roof
for this yere Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Yeah, they've been monstrous, bigger than any of the episodes
of series eleven last year, the Dinner Party one that
we had just recently, And it's hard to know what
it is. I mean, there's a real first that I
think people have for relationship shows, and this is kind
of unique in that couples watch it to learn what
not to do, but also singles watch.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
It and go, oh, there are red flags.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
I think we need to avoid that, so it sort
of covers both sort of groups. But then I think
also there's this element of can strangers get a fairy
tale when you match them up?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, well Laura did.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I'm living proof sometimes it does work, and I'm proof
that it doesn't. But we're not going to go back
and revisit that so a question that I was just
asking you off air and you said, you're happy to
talk about it. How much of the casting, because sometimes
you're like brilliant. We look at people like Jules Robinson
and cam like they were amazing, happy ending. Sometimes I
look at it and I said, who put these two
(02:14):
people together?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
But it was you? So how much of it is you?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
And how much of it is you know, the behind
the scenes casting. Do you work together to find these couples?
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Yes, So with the experts, we would look at them
over a two month period. We zoom call them, we
look at their background bios, we test them things like
attachment theory and communication styles, values, their personality traits, and
then we put them together. And then it's really a
(02:42):
combination of the matches that we throw up, but also
the network and the production company and like you could imagine.
One of the great things with MATHS is that it
can be quite diverse. So we might have a great match,
but we've got too many blonds on the show. So
they might say, all right, well, let's look for a
different sort of looking couple, or we need a different
(03:05):
culture Italian, Lebanese, Greek, or we need a fifty something,
so we can kind of go out and really get
quite a broad range, but certainly the experts are heavily involved.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
I also think that that's what really sets it apart
as a show, because as a viewer, there is always
somebody who is reflected like you're reflected back in. And
I don't mean that like the craziness of it, but
there's always someone who you could potentially relate to in
that relationship dynamic, Whereas like when you look at shows
like The Bachelor, which obviously we have, I mean we've
put skin in the game with that, there is only
(03:36):
one kind and it's hot guy and lots of hot girls,
and that's it. So you know, for anyone who's in
an older demographic who's watching, they're isolated from that kind
of dating experience.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
That's right, so, and I think that's one of the
secret sources of the show, the diversity of the cast.
I think also the experts role in the show has
become very much more about calling out bad behavior, which
there's plenty of.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
There is plenty of, and they come back at us
just as hard.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
And in most reality concepts or shows, the experts is
put on a pedestal, you know, and they are seen
as all knowing and so if you've burnt the lasagna
or if you've got a bad kitchen design, you know,
they don't really get too upset about it, you know,
whereas on our show, the experts really are in the
(04:27):
firing line, and that when I sit down with our couples,
they want to get things off their chest and I'm
pointing out patterns in their lives that are very, very
personal and they don't like it. And so I think
one of the interesting things when you watch it is
how we respond as couples but also as experts to
that confrontation.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Have you had any big brawls that haven't made it,
like made it to air.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Like so you feel like that's the stuff that's making it,
you know.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Like sometimes I feel like stuff goes on. I mean,
I know I've done reality, but I know there's a
lot of stuff that go that's left on the cutting
room floor for whatever reason. But has there ever been
a moment where you are having this confrontation with someone
and it's just gone too far.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
I don't think it's gone too far, but I certainly
go as hard as I can because I don't know
what's going to make the edits. But it's better off
saying everything you want to say in getting it out there,
rather than holding back and missing your opportunity. So really,
for me, when I'm sitting in front of them, I
don't know what's coming, and it's not scripted or staged.
(05:29):
We're just sitting there delivering. But I've got to say
it in a short, sharp way that's going to get
them to stand up straight.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
You've already had some bombshells. I mean we're only a
couple of episodes deep and there's been some bombshells. People
are leaving they're not happy with who they've been matched with.
I know so to me, and I mean for most
people who watch it, I think the normal response now
is like, you've seen enough of the show that surely
you know as a participant that you may not get
matched with someone who is your.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Ideal bride or groom.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
So we've seen Tim has walked out at this point
he wasn't happy with his bride who he would match with,
and I know Australia has some very big feelings about that,
big feelings.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
So how do you.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Respond to that when you're like, you know that this
is the process of the show. Why are you pretending
like you didn't know that this is literally the format,
that's right, And Elliott also, yeah, yeah, this was trad
wife man.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Yes, yes, So I think what it does right now
on the show is it reflects what's going out on
in the real world. And that's one of the things
with the show is we tap into the zeitgeist. So
if it's gas lighting, if it's trad wives, worry, I mean,
you know, if it's speaking your truth, whatever's going on
out there shows up.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
No one's ever.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Said to me, I will be your warrior. I don't
know how much that's happening.
Speaker 5 (06:39):
Do you know what?
Speaker 4 (06:40):
And I'd never heard that, And then when I was
interviewing them this year, I'm saying, okay, so what's your
approach to dating.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
I want to be a warrior? And I'm like, well,
what does that mean.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
No one has ever gotten the ick faster than hearing
a man say I'm a warrior.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Man, I'm your warrior.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
You know I'm not heavily and TikTok. But then I
started to hear the women on the show talking about, well,
I want to be a trad wife, I want to.
Speaker 5 (07:05):
Serve I don't want a career.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
I really want the guy to take the lead, but
also be really really rich.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
And so there's poor and take the lead, take the lead.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
So I'm sort of sitting there hearing this stuff, thinking, Wow,
this is a very different flavor of maths that's going
to hit this year, and I think it's going to
get very noisy, and I think it has as a
result of that.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
What about the feedback for you?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I mean, obviously it is your job to guide these
couples so that they aren't completely toxic and don't destroy
each other in the process, But what about the feedback
when couples have been paired that seemingly from the outside
are very toxic to each other, or seem to be
poorly paired, how do they come like, why is it
that you put them together?
Speaker 2 (07:46):
So it made that choice.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Yeah, So what you're seeing there is what we're seeing,
which is after knowing them for two months and drilling
down and getting all the info to match them compatible
in a way that's very compatible. What we don't know
what's going to happen when the camera's roll and you
will have seen this because you've experienced it. You have
skin in the game. What is going to happen when
(08:08):
at six am to ten pm you've got a camera
on you and you're trying to get to know your
partner and also get along in the group. And what
we find is that a seemingly compatible couple suddenly blows
up in front of us and they look dreadful together.
It might be a guy realizes, you know what, I'm
not into commitment, or I've got a type, or there's
no chemistry, or one of the women will say, you
(08:30):
know what I was really I thought I was ready
for intimacy, but actually.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Not with him.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Not with him, or like I thought he had more
zeros in the bank.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Yeah, so you're getting this sort of explosion or implosion
of the couple that you've spent months and months getting
to know. So we get just as disappointed as everybody
else when they.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
Don't make it.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Yeah, but I also think this year, just coming back
to that thing that you were talking about with leaving
the show out there in the dating world, what they're
telling me is commitment is hard to find.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yes, absolutely, I dated everyone in Sydney and then ended
up on a reality show to find my guys.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
It's so hard.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Right, and so some of them even said to me, John,
I'm coming on Maths because at least the guy that
you match me with will stick around for longer than
one date.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Wow, that is telling.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
John, if you can stick around, We've got to go
to a break. But I'm so fascinated and I have
so many more questions for you that we're going to
hit you up. So short break and we'll be back
in a minute. It's a pick up on kiss.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
If you were just joining us, we are getting all
of the goss on what is happening at Maths at
the moment because we are joined by relationship expert John Aiken.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Now, John, you don't know this. I mean, there's no
way for you to know this, but I'm going to
tell you.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
You featured very heavily in our girls group chat recently,
and it's because there was a photo of you that
appears he knows what it was a screenshot and there
was something seemingly quite unfortunate or very fortunate, depending on
what circumstance you might be in in the background of
one of your photos.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yes, we need clarity everyone. What is this?
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Yeah, well, can you tell me? What are they suggesting
that it is?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Butt?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Plugo in case anyone say, in Spain.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Everyone's unsure. There's a very blurred background image. Is a
thing that's sitting on a mantelpiece.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
It looks like it's holding up a book, but it
could also be inserted somewhere.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah, el but holding something over.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
You know what I put it to be honest, I
don't know what it is, but I can tell you
it is not mine.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
It never is. It's someone else's.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
But because you know reality TV so well, when you
come on to do interviews, you will have sets that
you just walk in, you sit down, you do your thing.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
John, you got stitched up somebody, John?
Speaker 5 (10:52):
You know what? You know what you're reminding me of.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I'm going the last thirteen years of my life. I've
been a hospital worker. I'm a radiographer in a hospital.
This big change and the number of people that come in,
Like a big part of my job was people that
had some el butt plugs or whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Usually not that, not that the correct apparatus.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Something foreign sucked up their buttons, right, so we've got
to find it in their abdomen. You just reminded me
of that, because the number one thing they say is
like there will be like they'll be like, there'll be
a pool ball up there, and I'll be like, how
did this happen?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
They're like, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I was playing pool and then it was there and
it just happened.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
You know what.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
It's like, I slipped and fell on the pool table.
There's so many things like that that that's what you
just gave me. Anyway, all right, you heard it here.
It was a fake set from John.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
So the most controversial thing, I mean, it's already happened
on this season of mass One of the most controversial
episodes is the photo ranking.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
But it happens every.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Season, every season. Now.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
The thing about that, the thing about that challenge is
that it's really a test of emotional intelligence handled delicate. Well,
hit me out, let me try and describe it. Most
of our couples do it very well. They will say,
you know what, I'm going to put my partner first.
But there's always a handful every year who completely dropped
(12:16):
the ball and they will be putting in their mind
the hottest girl first. They will put their partner way
down the list and it completely blows the relationship up totally.
And what it's taught us is that people really are
not able to have delicate conversations or read the room
or even understand the bigger picture here, and often they
(12:36):
never recover from that. And you're just seeing it now.
You know, there's a couple of individuals in this episode
coming up that just do it very badly.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
But do you think it's also because I mean, and
it's something we see in dating all the time, people
who disguise honesty as a reason to be mere. It's like, oh,
I'm being honest, so you can't be angry at me. Objectively,
you're just not as hot as Sarah.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
Yeah, we had that in Maths maybe two three years ago.
Dom and Olivia really had this great rivalry for the agents,
but it would get incredibly intense and very personal, and
they would say, look, we're just speaking our truth. And
what we had to reflect back to them is that
being honest doesn't mean that you can assassinate a person's
(13:23):
character and really be rude.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Well, it's also just like almost that, like I'm just
speaking my truth. Really from the sounds like you're weaponizing
therapy talk like you know enough of it, but now
you're manipulating how to use it.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
But then on the flip side, like, are we then
encouraging lying, like if you don't think your partner's the
hottest there, And yes, Brittany.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
You lie.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Why would you say anything else because I don't think
we even have the competition.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I don't think we have the challenge.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I remember for our Bachelor audition, like seven years ago.
This is some real goss for you, John, when in
the audition there were just maybe twenty girls in there
in the room, and they'd say, cool, now it's time
line yourself up, yourself hottest at this end, best dressed
to me who you think is a little less attractive,
and you had to slot yourself in person, Yeah, in person,
(14:10):
and you had to put.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yourself in the line. And sometimes you'd stand somewhere and
someone like push you out and you pay. You did
that in the audition. We did it as a group date.
But I came after you. They probably realized quick, smart,
we can't have this on TV. I hang on back
to maps. Another question.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Sorry, this is like a railroad interview, pulling the curtain back.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
John's like, we'll use it on the next season. Trademark.
So one question I do have, and there's been two
couples on.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
This season that have known each other like before they've
had a like a loose date, or they had a
bit more of a connection and then they've ended up
at the end of the aisle being like, oh my god,
you're the guy that ghosted me. Is there any part
of that that is that you guys know about when
you cast, because I.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Know, you go through you do your due diligence, So.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
You look at someone you're like, Okay, let's see who
they know on Instagram or what their life looks like, Like,
surely there was some sort of a flag where you
guys know that they might know each other.
Speaker 5 (15:05):
No, it absolutely had no idea.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
That's grim for Australia's dating scene.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
I know.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
So it does reflect that the smaller pul it's out there.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
But also you've got no hope but to date the
guy that ghosted.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
You last week.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
I know.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
But the thing is, when you're doing your background checks
and you're getting to know them, you talk to them
about their significant relationships. You know, three four years together,
they might have been married and now divorced, But you
don't find out about a one night stand or a
fling that happened a year ago that you know, they
may not even know the names of the people that
(15:40):
they've gone out on a date with.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yeah, we were talking about this on Life on Cut,
our podcast, and because I think anyone who objectively would
look at the show would assume that.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
That was a manufactured moment from.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Producers, And we kind of got to the point where
we were like, we actually think it was a producer's
dream and it was serendipitous that fell into place, because
how would you manufacture finding two people where one of
them had once upon a time ghosted them on a date. Like,
it's almost too arbitrary to find that information out about
someone for it to have happened in the way it did.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
It's right, And when we did find out about it,
you know, you're always thinking, we merrit at first sight,
what do we do here? This is a different new storyline.
Do we cut it and get a new couple in
or do we just lean into it? And with maths,
we always lean into it.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, well if you did like a spin off, it's
like married at second sight.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Oh, I mean we get all sorts of things, celebrity maths,
you know, getting you know, people on I mean, there's
so many different versions of Maths that maps after dark
bit more r raided.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Oh isn't that just like only fans?
Speaker 1 (16:44):
No, you guys would get canceled for that if you
put Maths after dark like someone's getting sued.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Well, do you think, John, on a serious note for
a second, do you think you have more likelihood of
it working out? If you just like these couples that
had met, right, they did go on a date and
they did work out that it wasn't great. You goes
with me, You're a bit of a dick. Do we
have to hold that against that person knowing that maybe
it was just a one off and they're not a
bad person, or do you think that it gives them
(17:09):
more of a success story maybe.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
Well, that's the interesting thing about those two storylines. These
couples know each other, we've never seen it before, and
I didn't know what would happen. You know, what's their
experience going to be like? Because how they broke up
in the past has an influence also, whether they come
in with a mindset of well, the experts are here now,
(17:32):
so maybe we're going to get a fresh new relationship,
or are they going to go you know what we've
done this before this didn't work. This isn't going to
work now either, So we were really not sure whether
they were going to be able to navigate it, and
it is. They do have some highs and some lows
along the way. So it's a very fresh sort of
look to the show with that happening in it.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah, John, I have one more question for you. Who
do you think is the biggest red flag of this season?
Speaker 5 (17:58):
Biggest red flag?
Speaker 4 (18:00):
I mean, ah, well, probably what I would say is
that the couples. I'd say the couples that are most
entrenched in their ideas, So immediately, Lauren and Elliott when
you watch them together. I mean, we know why we
matched them, but when we watched them and the way
(18:20):
they talked, and you know, one being so inflexible about
his deal breakers, that's always a.
Speaker 5 (18:28):
Real red flag to me.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Not just him, there were there's couples there as well
that are that are caught in that battle of I'm right,
you're wrong. You know that point scoring that always happened.
That's a real red flag as well. And you're starting
to see some of it come out of the dinner parties,
which then becomes.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Even more of a problem at the commitment ceremonies.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Oh, I can't wait for I Am Celebrity to finish
so I can watch the rest of it.
Speaker 5 (18:53):
What about Maddy Jay and the jungle?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
It's dotting well, except he's getting very thin. I can
I was going to see he's hungry.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
He's sir. He's got the whole jungle look going.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
He might not have heard yet, but he did.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
He's in the bad books.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
He did just admit live on TV that he would
rather eat a mango than have sex with Laura at
the moment.
Speaker 5 (19:09):
May J. You didn't he did.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
He's tired, canplain the man. He needs some sugars and
then we'll have sex.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
It's fine.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Maybe he's on maps next year.
Speaker 5 (19:18):
I'll tell you what. It's hard to look good in
the jungle, but he manages.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
He is a good looking rooster.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
It makes sense as to why, once upon a time
he was chosen to be the Bachelor John.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
It's an absolute delight. Everyone married at first sight.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
It returns seven thirty pm tonight on Channel nine and
nine Now.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
Thanks for joining us, it's been a pleasure.
Now we are talking about the show that everyone is
talking about, and I'm very sorry to my husband, but
it's not I'm a celebrity.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Get me out of here. We talk about that enough
enough enough.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
It's the one that I'm missing out on at the
moment that I would love to be watching Married at
First Sight. I have watched every single season and we
are currently on season twelve.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
But you've been keeping up. You've been at least keeping
up with what's happening this year.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Do you know what I'm trying to keep up? So
I'm going to make an admission here. I have not
been a Maths watcher in the last twelve seasons. I try,
and it gives me wild anxiety, like the absolute train
wrecks on that show.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
I come the.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
People, but sometimes the relationships themselves, the relations sometimes the people, no,
sometimes the people too like sometimes I want to I'm
all about love.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
We love love, but sometimes I want to throw my
remote at the screen. But we are very honored to
be in the presence of Relationship Expert Royalty Maths.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Greatness, Maths Greatness.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
We have John Aiken here, relationship Expert, also the man
who is responsible for pairing some of these seemingly mismatch
pairs together.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Yes, indeed, and it's great to be here. Yeah, it's
nice to be in studio with you both. It's season twelve,
which is amazing because we didn't really see it happening
in this way. You know, when you start a reality show,
you're kind of not sure whether it'll hit or miss.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
You're just saying that the ratings are through the roof
for this yere Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Yeah, they've been monstrous, bigger than any of the episodes
of series eleven last year, the Dinner Party one that
we had just recently, And it's hard to know what
it is. I mean, there's a real first that I
think people have for relationship shows, and this is kind
of unique in that couples watch it to learn what
not to do, but also singles watch.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
It and go, oh, there are red flags.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
I think we need to avoid that, so it sort
of covers both sort of groups. But then I think
also there's this element of can strangers get a fairy
tale when you match them up?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, well Laura did.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I'm living proof sometimes it does work, and I'm proof
that it doesn't. But we're not going to go back
and revisit that so a question that I was just
asking you off air and you said, you're happy to
talk about it. How much of the casting, because sometimes
you're like brilliant. We look at people like Jules Robinson
and cam like they were amazing, happy ending. Sometimes I
look at it and I said, who put these two
(02:14):
people together?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
But it was you? So how much of it is you?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
And how much of it is you know, the behind
the scenes casting. Do you work together to find these couples?
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Yes, So with the experts, we would look at them
over a two month period. We zoom call them, we
look at their background bios, we test them things like
attachment theory and communication styles, values, their personality traits, and
then we put them together. And then it's really a
(02:42):
combination of the matches that we throw up, but also
the network and the production company and like you could imagine.
One of the great things with MATHS is that it
can be quite diverse. So we might have a great match,
but we've got too many blonds on the show. So
they might say, all right, well, let's look for a
different sort of looking couple, or we need a different
(03:05):
culture Italian, Lebanese, Greek, or we need a fifty something,
so we can kind of go out and really get
quite a broad range, but certainly the experts are heavily involved.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
I also think that that's what really sets it apart
as a show, because as a viewer, there is always
somebody who is reflected like you're reflected back in. And
I don't mean that like the craziness of it, but
there's always someone who you could potentially relate to in
that relationship dynamic, Whereas like when you look at shows
like The Bachelor, which obviously we have, I mean we've
put skin in the game with that, there is only
(03:36):
one kind and it's hot guy and lots of hot girls,
and that's it. So you know, for anyone who's in
an older demographic who's watching, they're isolated from that kind
of dating experience.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
That's right, so, and I think that's one of the
secret sources of the show, the diversity of the cast.
I think also the experts role in the show has
become very much more about calling out bad behavior, which
there's plenty of.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
There is plenty of, and they come back at us
just as hard.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
And in most reality concepts or shows, the experts is
put on a pedestal, you know, and they are seen
as all knowing and so if you've burnt the lasagna
or if you've got a bad kitchen design, you know,
they don't really get too upset about it, you know,
whereas on our show, the experts really are in the
(04:27):
firing line, and that when I sit down with our couples,
they want to get things off their chest and I'm
pointing out patterns in their lives that are very, very
personal and they don't like it. And so I think
one of the interesting things when you watch it is
how we respond as couples but also as experts to
that confrontation.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Have you had any big brawls that haven't made it,
like made it to air.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Like so you feel like that's the stuff that's making it,
you know.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Like sometimes I feel like stuff goes on. I mean,
I know I've done reality, but I know there's a
lot of stuff that go that's left on the cutting
room floor for whatever reason. But has there ever been
a moment where you are having this confrontation with someone
and it's just gone too far.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
I don't think it's gone too far, but I certainly
go as hard as I can because I don't know
what's going to make the edits. But it's better off
saying everything you want to say in getting it out there,
rather than holding back and missing your opportunity. So really,
for me, when I'm sitting in front of them, I
don't know what's coming, and it's not scripted or staged.
(05:29):
We're just sitting there delivering. But I've got to say
it in a short, sharp way that's going to get
them to stand up straight.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
You've already had some bombshells. I mean we're only a
couple of episodes deep and there's been some bombshells. People
are leaving they're not happy with who they've been matched with.
I know so to me, and I mean for most
people who watch it, I think the normal response now
is like, you've seen enough of the show that surely
you know as a participant that you may not get
matched with someone who is your.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Ideal bride or groom.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
So we've seen Tim has walked out at this point
he wasn't happy with his bride who he would match with,
and I know Australia has some very big feelings about that,
big feelings.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
So how do you.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Respond to that when you're like, you know that this
is the process of the show. Why are you pretending
like you didn't know that this is literally the format,
that's right, And Elliott also, yeah, yeah, this was trad
wife man.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Yes, yes, So I think what it does right now
on the show is it reflects what's going out on
in the real world. And that's one of the things
with the show is we tap into the zeitgeist. So
if it's gas lighting, if it's trad wives, worry, I mean,
you know, if it's speaking your truth, whatever's going on
out there shows up.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
No one's ever.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Said to me, I will be your warrior. I don't
know how much that's happening.
Speaker 5 (06:39):
Do you know what?
Speaker 4 (06:40):
And I'd never heard that, And then when I was
interviewing them this year, I'm saying, okay, so what's your
approach to dating.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
I want to be a warrior? And I'm like, well,
what does that mean.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
No one has ever gotten the ick faster than hearing
a man say I'm a warrior.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Man, I'm your warrior.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
You know I'm not heavily and TikTok. But then I
started to hear the women on the show talking about, well,
I want to be a trad wife, I want to.
Speaker 5 (07:05):
Serve I don't want a career.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
I really want the guy to take the lead, but
also be really really rich.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
And so there's poor and take the lead, take the lead.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
So I'm sort of sitting there hearing this stuff, thinking, Wow,
this is a very different flavor of maths that's going
to hit this year, and I think it's going to
get very noisy, and I think it has as a
result of that.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
What about the feedback for you?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I mean, obviously it is your job to guide these
couples so that they aren't completely toxic and don't destroy
each other in the process, But what about the feedback
when couples have been paired that seemingly from the outside
are very toxic to each other, or seem to be
poorly paired, how do they come like, why is it
that you put them together?
Speaker 2 (07:46):
So it made that choice.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Yeah, So what you're seeing there is what we're seeing,
which is after knowing them for two months and drilling
down and getting all the info to match them compatible
in a way that's very compatible. What we don't know
what's going to happen when the camera's roll and you
will have seen this because you've experienced it. You have
skin in the game. What is going to happen when
(08:08):
at six am to ten pm you've got a camera
on you and you're trying to get to know your
partner and also get along in the group. And what
we find is that a seemingly compatible couple suddenly blows
up in front of us and they look dreadful together.
It might be a guy realizes, you know what, I'm
not into commitment, or I've got a type, or there's
no chemistry, or one of the women will say, you
(08:30):
know what I was really I thought I was ready
for intimacy, but actually.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Not with him.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Not with him, or like I thought he had more
zeros in the bank.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Yeah, so you're getting this sort of explosion or implosion
of the couple that you've spent months and months getting
to know. So we get just as disappointed as everybody
else when they.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
Don't make it.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Yeah, but I also think this year, just coming back
to that thing that you were talking about with leaving
the show out there in the dating world, what they're
telling me is commitment is hard to find.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yes, absolutely, I dated everyone in Sydney and then ended
up on a reality show to find my guys.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
It's so hard.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Right, and so some of them even said to me, John,
I'm coming on Maths because at least the guy that
you match me with will stick around for longer than
one date.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Wow, that is telling.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
John, if you can stick around, We've got to go
to a break. But I'm so fascinated and I have
so many more questions for you that we're going to
hit you up. So short break and we'll be back
in a minute. It's a pick up on kiss.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
If you were just joining us, we are getting all
of the goss on what is happening at Maths at
the moment because we are joined by relationship expert John Aiken.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Now, John, you don't know this. I mean, there's no
way for you to know this, but I'm going to
tell you.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
You featured very heavily in our girls group chat recently,
and it's because there was a photo of you that
appears he knows what it was a screenshot and there
was something seemingly quite unfortunate or very fortunate, depending on
what circumstance you might be in in the background of
one of your photos.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yes, we need clarity everyone. What is this?
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Yeah, well, can you tell me? What are they suggesting
that it is?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Butt?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Plugo in case anyone say, in Spain.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Everyone's unsure. There's a very blurred background image. Is a
thing that's sitting on a mantelpiece.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
It looks like it's holding up a book, but it
could also be inserted somewhere.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah, el but holding something over.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
You know what I put it to be honest, I
don't know what it is, but I can tell you
it is not mine.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
It never is. It's someone else's.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
But because you know reality TV so well, when you
come on to do interviews, you will have sets that
you just walk in, you sit down, you do your thing.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
John, you got stitched up somebody, John?
Speaker 5 (10:52):
You know what? You know what you're reminding me of.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I'm going the last thirteen years of my life. I've
been a hospital worker. I'm a radiographer in a hospital.
This big change and the number of people that come in,
Like a big part of my job was people that
had some el butt plugs or whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Usually not that, not that the correct apparatus.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Something foreign sucked up their buttons, right, so we've got
to find it in their abdomen. You just reminded me
of that, because the number one thing they say is
like there will be like they'll be like, there'll be
a pool ball up there, and I'll be like, how
did this happen?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
They're like, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I was playing pool and then it was there and
it just happened.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
You know what.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
It's like, I slipped and fell on the pool table.
There's so many things like that that that's what you
just gave me. Anyway, all right, you heard it here.
It was a fake set from John.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
So the most controversial thing, I mean, it's already happened
on this season of mass One of the most controversial
episodes is the photo ranking.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
But it happens every.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Season, every season. Now.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
The thing about that, the thing about that challenge is
that it's really a test of emotional intelligence handled delicate. Well,
hit me out, let me try and describe it. Most
of our couples do it very well. They will say,
you know what, I'm going to put my partner first.
But there's always a handful every year who completely dropped
(12:16):
the ball and they will be putting in their mind
the hottest girl first. They will put their partner way
down the list and it completely blows the relationship up totally.
And what it's taught us is that people really are
not able to have delicate conversations or read the room
or even understand the bigger picture here, and often they
(12:36):
never recover from that. And you're just seeing it now.
You know, there's a couple of individuals in this episode
coming up that just do it very badly.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
But do you think it's also because I mean, and
it's something we see in dating all the time, people
who disguise honesty as a reason to be mere. It's like, oh,
I'm being honest, so you can't be angry at me. Objectively,
you're just not as hot as Sarah.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
Yeah, we had that in Maths maybe two three years ago.
Dom and Olivia really had this great rivalry for the agents,
but it would get incredibly intense and very personal, and
they would say, look, we're just speaking our truth. And
what we had to reflect back to them is that
being honest doesn't mean that you can assassinate a person's
(13:23):
character and really be rude.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Well, it's also just like almost that, like I'm just
speaking my truth. Really from the sounds like you're weaponizing
therapy talk like you know enough of it, but now
you're manipulating how to use it.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
But then on the flip side, like, are we then
encouraging lying, like if you don't think your partner's the
hottest there, And yes, Brittany.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
You lie.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Why would you say anything else because I don't think
we even have the competition.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I don't think we have the challenge.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I remember for our Bachelor audition, like seven years ago.
This is some real goss for you, John, when in
the audition there were just maybe twenty girls in there
in the room, and they'd say, cool, now it's time
line yourself up, yourself hottest at this end, best dressed
to me who you think is a little less attractive,
and you had to slot yourself in person, Yeah, in person,
(14:10):
and you had to put.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yourself in the line. And sometimes you'd stand somewhere and
someone like push you out and you pay. You did
that in the audition. We did it as a group date.
But I came after you. They probably realized quick, smart,
we can't have this on TV. I hang on back
to maps. Another question.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Sorry, this is like a railroad interview, pulling the curtain back.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
John's like, we'll use it on the next season. Trademark.
So one question I do have, and there's been two
couples on.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
This season that have known each other like before they've
had a like a loose date, or they had a
bit more of a connection and then they've ended up
at the end of the aisle being like, oh my god,
you're the guy that ghosted me. Is there any part
of that that is that you guys know about when
you cast, because I.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Know, you go through you do your due diligence, So.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
You look at someone you're like, Okay, let's see who
they know on Instagram or what their life looks like, Like,
surely there was some sort of a flag where you
guys know that they might know each other.
Speaker 5 (15:05):
No, it absolutely had no idea.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
That's grim for Australia's dating scene.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
I know.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
So it does reflect that the smaller pul it's out there.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
But also you've got no hope but to date the
guy that ghosted.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
You last week.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
I know.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
But the thing is, when you're doing your background checks
and you're getting to know them, you talk to them
about their significant relationships. You know, three four years together,
they might have been married and now divorced, But you
don't find out about a one night stand or a
fling that happened a year ago that you know, they
may not even know the names of the people that
(15:40):
they've gone out on a date with.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yeah, we were talking about this on Life on Cut,
our podcast, and because I think anyone who objectively would
look at the show would assume that.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
That was a manufactured moment from.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Producers, And we kind of got to the point where
we were like, we actually think it was a producer's
dream and it was serendipitous that fell into place, because
how would you manufacture finding two people where one of
them had once upon a time ghosted them on a date. Like,
it's almost too arbitrary to find that information out about
someone for it to have happened in the way it did.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
It's right, And when we did find out about it,
you know, you're always thinking, we merrit at first sight,
what do we do here? This is a different new storyline.
Do we cut it and get a new couple in
or do we just lean into it? And with maths,
we always lean into it.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, well if you did like a spin off, it's
like married at second sight.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Oh, I mean we get all sorts of things, celebrity maths,
you know, getting you know, people on I mean, there's
so many different versions of Maths that maps after dark
bit more r raided.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Oh isn't that just like only fans?
Speaker 1 (16:44):
No, you guys would get canceled for that if you
put Maths after dark like someone's getting sued.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Well, do you think, John, on a serious note for
a second, do you think you have more likelihood of
it working out? If you just like these couples that
had met, right, they did go on a date and
they did work out that it wasn't great. You goes
with me, You're a bit of a dick. Do we
have to hold that against that person knowing that maybe
it was just a one off and they're not a
bad person, or do you think that it gives them
(17:09):
more of a success story maybe.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
Well, that's the interesting thing about those two storylines. These
couples know each other, we've never seen it before, and
I didn't know what would happen. You know, what's their
experience going to be like? Because how they broke up
in the past has an influence also, whether they come
in with a mindset of well, the experts are here now,
(17:32):
so maybe we're going to get a fresh new relationship,
or are they going to go you know what we've
done this before this didn't work. This isn't going to
work now either, So we were really not sure whether
they were going to be able to navigate it, and
it is. They do have some highs and some lows
along the way. So it's a very fresh sort of
look to the show with that happening in it.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yeah, John, I have one more question for you. Who
do you think is the biggest red flag of this season?
Speaker 5 (17:58):
Biggest red flag?
Speaker 4 (18:00):
I mean, ah, well, probably what I would say is
that the couples. I'd say the couples that are most
entrenched in their ideas, So immediately, Lauren and Elliott when
you watch them together. I mean, we know why we
matched them, but when we watched them and the way
(18:20):
they talked, and you know, one being so inflexible about
his deal breakers, that's always a.
Speaker 5 (18:28):
Real red flag to me.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Not just him, there were there's couples there as well
that are that are caught in that battle of I'm right,
you're wrong. You know that point scoring that always happened.
That's a real red flag as well. And you're starting
to see some of it come out of the dinner parties,
which then becomes.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Even more of a problem at the commitment ceremonies.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Oh, I can't wait for I Am Celebrity to finish
so I can watch the rest of it.
Speaker 5 (18:53):
What about Maddy Jay and the jungle?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
It's dotting well, except he's getting very thin. I can
I was going to see he's hungry.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
He's sir. He's got the whole jungle look going.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
He might not have heard yet, but he did.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
He's in the bad books.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
He did just admit live on TV that he would
rather eat a mango than have sex with Laura at
the moment.
Speaker 5 (19:09):
May J. You didn't he did.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
He's tired, canplain the man. He needs some sugars and
then we'll have sex.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
It's fine.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Maybe he's on maps next year.
Speaker 5 (19:18):
I'll tell you what. It's hard to look good in
the jungle, but he manages.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
He is a good looking rooster.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
It makes sense as to why, once upon a time
he was chosen to be the Bachelor John.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
It's an absolute delight. Everyone married at first sight.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
It returns seven thirty pm tonight on Channel nine and
nine Now.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
Thanks for joining us, it's been a pleasure.
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