MINI: Matt was attacked by a child on a bike

Matt had a run-in with a local child... and he did not come out the winner. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
My Heart podcasts, he more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
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Speaker 2 (00:16):
Brittany, have you ever been attacked by a child? Wow? Ah, no,
I can't say. Have producer Grace, Have you been attacked
by a child recently?

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yeah? Emotionally I was bitten by one.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Well, there we go.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Is that what you mean? Yes? I think that's standard
r Who was the child? It was one of my nephews,
little chompers. Yes, you know, when their teeth are coming
through and they're learning, and.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, maybe it's dangerous being a parent out there. It's
ruthlessly lost a finger. I was attacked on the weekend.
Just gone okay, and I'm finally ready to talk about it. Okay,
what happened? Well, you know I like to go around
on my e bike. Yeah, you love any bike. I
love cycling, and it's just it's convenient, right. The issue is,

(01:01):
and you don't have to peddle as fast. I don't
have to peddle that much. I can just cruise the streets,
the wind in my hair. It's relaxing a dish dress.
But the issue is, you know, there's some routes that
I take where I'm like am I allowed to be
on the footpath or not. I think you're never allowed
on the footpath.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
I think e bikes are classified as like a road
worthy vehicle.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
So what I do, though, there's a little shortcut that
I like to take down the road from my house,
and it's where it's almost like four roads converge and
they're all dead ends, and there's a park in the middle. Okay,
Robert Frost, I don't know who that is, don't you.
It's a smart joke. So I go off the road,

(01:43):
I go through the park and I take this little shortcut,
and I'm very mindful when I go through the park
because I don't want to be going too fast on
the e bike. Okay, I don't want to offend anybody
or have people go oh bloody hell. You know these
people on e bikes, so they're so inconsiderate. Yeah, So
I go very slow. I have a little speed up
on my e bike, and I got about ten kilometers
per hour. Okay, very considerate. Yeah. So on this day

(02:06):
I went through the park going very slowly, and I
saw in front of me a young boy, he must
have been about five, maybe six, and he had in
his hand a particular object pine cone. No, it was
a semi automatic water pistol. Have you seen that? He

(02:27):
took you down to what they do? Like the future
is here, guys. Kids these days don't even have to
grow up knowing what it's like to pump pump.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Oh, you got to pump like ten times to load.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Get like one shot out. Okay, not these days kids,
these days they pulled the trig up. It's wild. Is
it just water? Sorry, you make them very dramatic. Is
it just so you just got sprayed with water?

Speaker 1 (02:54):
That hole?

Speaker 2 (02:54):
That's what this story is. Produce a grace. Let me
talk to you now. So I look at this kid,
he's shooting another kid. I spot him. I'm like, this
is the troublemaker. And then all of a sudden, the
kid looks at me. We lock eye. He then takes
the gun away from the little girl that he's shooting,
and he all of a sudden, Let's not get hung

(03:19):
up on the details, guys. He then looks at me
and moves the gun or water pistol, whatever you want
to call it, water gun at me, and he starts
to pull the trigger. I'm getting shut. I'm getting hit.
If I was there I would do the same thing.
I think this is hilarious. I'd fill it with cordials
so it's sticky. Okay, that's just the type of person

(03:39):
that you are. Once again, Producer Grace directing the rest
of the story towards you. I am getting shot right
in the face, okay, and I'm going ten kmeters per
hour to be considerate. And what do I get in return?
Water straight to the face.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
What'd you do?

Speaker 2 (03:53):
Run them over? I know I thought about it, but
then behind him was a parent, and I look at
the parent as a gesture of like, control your child,
and then he looks at me and goes hands in
the air. It's not my kid, not my kid.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
I You're about to be pulled out.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
So I then so I called away. I'm drenched. I
didn't know if I should stop. Are you upset?

Speaker 1 (04:16):
What?

Speaker 2 (04:17):
I didn't know if I should say something to the
child or just ride away with my pride somewhat intacted.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
I just feel like you were riding really slow, like
if they could attack you that much as you were
riding past, and then you need to pick.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Up the pace. Look, you know, once again, very considerate
on the e bike. I want people to know that. Look,
it could be worse. You could have got egged. That's
way worse. That could have knocked you up. Remind me
never to tell you a story in the hope that
I'll get some sympathy from you. Not to know, not
for a water well.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Be safe out there everyone. If you're on your e
bike and there's a water pistol, watch out for the parks.