MINI: The secret to longlasting marriage REVEALED

Laura has discovered the secret to a good marriage (via a Harvard Professor), but Britt isn't quite sold on the concept. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
High Heart podcasts, he more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
live on the Free iHeart app. Now, we have been
talking a lot about weddings on this show, and that
is because Brittany got married in Bali. But I have
a question for you now that you are I mean
you're in newlywed. What do you think is the key
indicator of a long term happy marriage.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Long distance living in different countries, seeing each other sporadically,
like see the Great Wi Fi Connection.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Continuing to have a honeymoon romance, but expanse for forever.
All right, Well, look, the reason why I want to
talk about this is because there was a Harvard professor
who is uncovered the secrets to a lasting relationship. And
one might think it's passion One might think it's having
a hot, steamy romantic time, but it certainly doesn't seem
to be it.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
Have a listen to this happiest marriages or those characterized.
But what we call companionate love not passionate love. I
mean passionate love is at the very beginning when you're
actually bonding to each other, Like what do you want
to get to within five years? Is best friendship? And
best friendship is a magical thing. And you get to
live with your best friend, so you get to watch
TV with every night, and.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
They've got your back on literally everything. Oh, I think
it's nice.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
I'm sorry, pretty.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Like you uncovered the secret. Make sure your friends with
your partner. Sorry, No, I agree with him, but it's like,
I feel like it's pretty obvious.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
This is a Harvard professor. Don't pooh pooh his research.
God damn it. He's been doing this for twenty years.
He told him twenty years ago. He's been studying love
for twenty years. No, Okay. I The reason why I
kind of love this is because I do think in
relationships sometimes we put so much emphasis on keeping the
spark alive and having this passionate, all consuming relationship. But

(01:56):
I also think that sometimes that all consuming, super passionate
relationships can be the most toxic and most problematic. And
if you'd asked me years ago what kind of relationship
I wanted, I would have said fireworksney rich No, not
abs abs, private chief anny.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
No.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
I would have said I loved like the intensity of it,
And I definitely had that with my husband when we
first met. Like, I'm not going to say that didn't exist.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
You were also fighting thirty other women for him, though
the intensity was there.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
So the intensity was so there, couldn't have been more intense. Oh,
it was a competition.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
I was gonna win, but didn't even like himself.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
We being together eight years now, and I honestly think
one of the best things about our relationship is that
we are best friends. We have so much fun together.
We love hanging out together. And you know, when I
listen to this, I think that sometimes you can you
can get a bit caught up in like, oh, we're
keeping the spark alive, but we're doing all the things
that we need to do in our relationship in order
to like still have that connection. But it's so nice

(02:58):
to hear that, Like the number one definer is that
friendship is also so so important.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
I just can't stop giggling every time you say it.
It's just not rocket science that you need to be
friends with your partner. But what I do like that
he's says is about the fact that it's really important
to know that your intimacy levels change and they decrease,
like it's normal to have less drive and passion and
for want of another word, if you can read between
the lines here for three PM. But that is normal
in a long term relationship. And I like that he's

(03:24):
reiterating that, but I feel a bit bad for him
that he spent twenty years studying this to you need
to be friends with your partner.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
It's not just friends, though I disagree, it's best friends.
And I say this, shut up. I say this because
there are a lot of people out there, and I'm
sure there's people listening to this who are like, yeah,
I'm friends with my partner. Of course I love him
or I love her. We're really really close, but like
they're not my number one for best friend. Like I
go to my girls and I tell them X y
Z before I tell my husband. People have different relationships,

(03:55):
for sure, but like, what a nice place to be
out when it's like the first person you want to
tell everything to is your partner. If you're going to
spend the rest of your life with britt No, I.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Just shut up, britty No. This is a shared radio show,
and you're allowed to talk about the things that you want.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
To talk about well and pretty like and I'm allowed
to poopoo them. So anyway, happy marriage to you.