July 1, 2025 • 5 mins
Lyndal Bubke joins Britt & Laura to chat about the life-altering discovery she made after taking an ancestry test - she was conceived via sperm donor and had AT LEAST 77 siblings across Australia and the world. Lyndal chats about how it has affected her life, and what she's doing to make sure this doesn't happen again.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hi Heart podcasts, heem More Kiss podcast playlist and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
We have a bit of a different guest on the
show today, one I'm quite excited to speak about. I
saw her story online and just couldn't imagine what it
would be like. We're speaking to Lyndall Bubke, who is
a donor conceived woman from Brisbane and she recently found
out that she has seventy seven half siblings that were
also conceived by the same donor sperm. So we have
(00:39):
Lindall on the phone. Lindall, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Hi both, thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
What how did you discover that you had seventy seven
half siblings.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Oh, it's been a bit of a process. I did
an ancestry dnatist. My husband's family really into genealogy and
I'm like, well, that'll be fun. What's the worst that imagine?
That'd be fun.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Did you know at that point that you had been
conceived through donor sperm? Like, did you know that that
was the case or was it all a bit of
a Pandora's box.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
It was a bit of a Pandora's box. I'm of
an age, I'm thirty three, and most I was conceived
in the early nineties, and at the time, the going
rhetoric that the clinics were really impressing upon parents was
go home and pretend it didn't happen. It's unkind to
tell them. You shouldn't tell them they'll never be able
to find their donor, you know. And yes that's all true,
(01:29):
not only because they destroyed the records in a bit
of a journey, but these days people are told.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
At the time as well, there was nothing like ancestry
dot com, so they probably weren't thinking no future the
people would be able to do their own genealogy tests
like that seems so sci fi for back then.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I know who would have ever guessed?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
And then so okay, let's just set the scene tappling away.
You find out you've got seventy sevens half siblings. How
do you then connect with them? Because I know quite
a lot of you have reached out and been in contact.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Yeah, there's like a group chat we have at the
moment because I've fifteen of us in it. We get
in touch mostly VIADEA they're testing. The clinic has put
a couple of us in touch with each other. But
the clinic doesn't have records for all or most of us.
The seventy seven, as you said, is a minimum. It
doesn't include all of the treading doctors at Cleeensland fertility
(02:20):
groups that destroyed their records. Mine included. So if it
hadn't been the fact that I did a DNA test,
I wouldn't have ever been able to connect with my siblings.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I imagine when you find out that there's you know,
potentially upwards of one hundred siblings, you would think.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Okay, I have to make two hundred and fifty to
three hundred and fifty conservatively based on how many times
my donor donated.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Which is wild, and your brain must go to the
fact of saying, okay, well, there's a high likelihood of
all these people growing up in the same area. Did
you just think that maybe you'd come across them in
the past, or what if you were dating them as
a teenager, or what if your husband was related to
in some way? Like did those thoughts cross your mind?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Bang on the money with my biggest fears, they're Thankfully
my husband had already done a DNA test, so when
I got my results back, it was the first thing
I was checking even before I looked at the eleven
DNA matches. My parents had got in between the test
results hitting. They told me what to expect, So the
first thing I'm checking is is my husband a relative?
Thank God it wasn't. But you know, I know that
(03:17):
two of my siblings.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Have found out they were at a party together as teenagers.
It's all really close to home. The chances of me
knowing someone who's a sibling before I find their sibling
is pretty high. You know, one of my one of
my brothers, is my cousin's friend. We're born ten days apart.
We're probably conceived on the same day, and that's that's
quite close, you know me.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
From the same lot of spurm, same clinic.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Yeah, I think we are actually.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Wow, wow, that is crazy. How look I mean, and
this might be a little bit personal, but when your
parents did tell you, because obviously you know, them intervening,
trying to probably get a front foot on that situation,
how did you respond to that?
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Oh? Look, it's hard. You know. I think they did
the best they could with the information they had. We
all agree. Now, my parents have been really supportive throughout
this process because this isn't what they find up for
But now that they know this, they would have told
me earlier. I always tell people who are going through
own conception, it's so important to tell your kids. Have
(04:16):
it just be part of the narrative so it's not
a big shock when they're signed out.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Well, you are also campaigning for improved regulations in the
fertility clinics and creations of databases. Tell us exactly what
you're hoping to achieve, Like, what regulations do you think
we need to have to better control this?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah, well so at the moment we have state based
approaching and not every state has regulation. Until October and
Queensland last year there was literally nothing governing it and
that's why something terrible things happened. So if one state
is letting the team down, then the clinics can get
away with and they do get away with sending the
sperm into state to their related clinics or just selling
(04:56):
it to other clinics and using it in the different jurisdiction,
and that gets around the family limits and that's how
you create these pods of hundreds, sometimes thousands of siblings
in Australia.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
It's just insane. And also, I mean there's been a
few documentaries and stuff that have come out where it's
really highlighted this issue overseas, but I don't think anyone's
aware that it's something that's happened here in Australia on
home soil as well.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
That's it. And if we're using sperm that's imported from
the States, there's no checks and balances and how many
times they've used it.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Well, you're gonna have a fun Christmas lindle with three
hundred people. I don't know what you hope. I don't
know if you hope to find them all or if you're
happy to just like sort of live with the seventy seven.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yeah you would, you know. It just feels funny thinking
there are these people out there and share half of
my DNA, but I never know. That's just a sadness
we all have to wear.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Oh well, we hope you find them. It's it's a
remarkable story. But we are rooting for you. Thanks both,
Thanks Lindall.
Hi Heart podcasts, heem More Kiss podcast playlist and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
We have a bit of a different guest on the
show today, one I'm quite excited to speak about. I
saw her story online and just couldn't imagine what it
would be like. We're speaking to Lyndall Bubke, who is
a donor conceived woman from Brisbane and she recently found
out that she has seventy seven half siblings that were
also conceived by the same donor sperm. So we have
(00:39):
Lindall on the phone. Lindall, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Hi both, thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
What how did you discover that you had seventy seven
half siblings.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Oh, it's been a bit of a process. I did
an ancestry dnatist. My husband's family really into genealogy and
I'm like, well, that'll be fun. What's the worst that imagine?
That'd be fun.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Did you know at that point that you had been
conceived through donor sperm? Like, did you know that that
was the case or was it all a bit of
a Pandora's box.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
It was a bit of a Pandora's box. I'm of
an age, I'm thirty three, and most I was conceived
in the early nineties, and at the time, the going
rhetoric that the clinics were really impressing upon parents was
go home and pretend it didn't happen. It's unkind to
tell them. You shouldn't tell them they'll never be able
to find their donor, you know. And yes that's all true,
(01:29):
not only because they destroyed the records in a bit
of a journey, but these days people are told.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
At the time as well, there was nothing like ancestry
dot com, so they probably weren't thinking no future the
people would be able to do their own genealogy tests
like that seems so sci fi for back then.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I know who would have ever guessed?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
And then so okay, let's just set the scene tappling away.
You find out you've got seventy sevens half siblings. How
do you then connect with them? Because I know quite
a lot of you have reached out and been in contact.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Yeah, there's like a group chat we have at the
moment because I've fifteen of us in it. We get
in touch mostly VIADEA they're testing. The clinic has put
a couple of us in touch with each other. But
the clinic doesn't have records for all or most of us.
The seventy seven, as you said, is a minimum. It
doesn't include all of the treading doctors at Cleeensland fertility
(02:20):
groups that destroyed their records. Mine included. So if it
hadn't been the fact that I did a DNA test,
I wouldn't have ever been able to connect with my siblings.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I imagine when you find out that there's you know,
potentially upwards of one hundred siblings, you would think.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Okay, I have to make two hundred and fifty to
three hundred and fifty conservatively based on how many times
my donor donated.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Which is wild, and your brain must go to the
fact of saying, okay, well, there's a high likelihood of
all these people growing up in the same area. Did
you just think that maybe you'd come across them in
the past, or what if you were dating them as
a teenager, or what if your husband was related to
in some way? Like did those thoughts cross your mind?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Bang on the money with my biggest fears, they're Thankfully
my husband had already done a DNA test, so when
I got my results back, it was the first thing
I was checking even before I looked at the eleven
DNA matches. My parents had got in between the test
results hitting. They told me what to expect, So the
first thing I'm checking is is my husband a relative?
Thank God it wasn't. But you know, I know that
(03:17):
two of my siblings.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Have found out they were at a party together as teenagers.
It's all really close to home. The chances of me
knowing someone who's a sibling before I find their sibling
is pretty high. You know, one of my one of
my brothers, is my cousin's friend. We're born ten days apart.
We're probably conceived on the same day, and that's that's
quite close, you know me.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
From the same lot of spurm, same clinic.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Yeah, I think we are actually.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Wow, wow, that is crazy. How look I mean, and
this might be a little bit personal, but when your
parents did tell you, because obviously you know, them intervening,
trying to probably get a front foot on that situation,
how did you respond to that?
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Oh? Look, it's hard. You know. I think they did
the best they could with the information they had. We
all agree. Now, my parents have been really supportive throughout
this process because this isn't what they find up for
But now that they know this, they would have told
me earlier. I always tell people who are going through
own conception, it's so important to tell your kids. Have
(04:16):
it just be part of the narrative so it's not
a big shock when they're signed out.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Well, you are also campaigning for improved regulations in the
fertility clinics and creations of databases. Tell us exactly what
you're hoping to achieve, Like, what regulations do you think
we need to have to better control this?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah, well so at the moment we have state based
approaching and not every state has regulation. Until October and
Queensland last year there was literally nothing governing it and
that's why something terrible things happened. So if one state
is letting the team down, then the clinics can get
away with and they do get away with sending the
sperm into state to their related clinics or just selling
(04:56):
it to other clinics and using it in the different jurisdiction,
and that gets around the family limits and that's how
you create these pods of hundreds, sometimes thousands of siblings
in Australia.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
It's just insane. And also, I mean there's been a
few documentaries and stuff that have come out where it's
really highlighted this issue overseas, but I don't think anyone's
aware that it's something that's happened here in Australia on
home soil as well.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
That's it. And if we're using sperm that's imported from
the States, there's no checks and balances and how many
times they've used it.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Well, you're gonna have a fun Christmas lindle with three
hundred people. I don't know what you hope. I don't
know if you hope to find them all or if you're
happy to just like sort of live with the seventy seven.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yeah you would, you know. It just feels funny thinking
there are these people out there and share half of
my DNA, but I never know. That's just a sadness
we all have to wear.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Oh well, we hope you find them. It's it's a
remarkable story. But we are rooting for you. Thanks both,
Thanks Lindall.
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