July 8, 2025 • 5 mins
Need to break up with someone? Britt & Laura have found the perfect script for breaking up with someone via text.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen live
on the free iHeart app One thing that I was
particularly bad at when I was in the throes of dating.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Thank god, I am now married and had.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
To go on a reality TV show to find my husband,
But that was the breakup part. I feel like I
hung on to dear life to all of my relationships.
I've said this before, until I drove those things so
far into the ground that they were dead.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, they were so dead. They were lifeless and limp
and sad.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
But I also like, really struggled with the breaking up
part of a relationship. Doesn't matter if I was dating
someone for two days or two years, Like I found
it almost impossible, and I think it's because I'm quite
conflict avoidant.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Do you think it's easier to be on the receiving
end of a breakup or the breaker.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Up erer depends on how blindsided you are. I think
there's no person that's ever gone through a really bad
breakup that's going to sit here and say getting broken
up with is way easier. But I think for some
people there are personality types that find doing the breaking
up incredibly Like I say, in a relationship for an
entire year, knowing that it was over, but I could
not bring myself.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
To break up with him.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
But the reason I wanted to talk about this is
because if you were in the early stages of dating
and you're finding it particularly hard to do the breaking
up with someone when someone doesn't seem right, I came
across an article that has a full proof formula for
how to break up with them. And as someone who
did quite a bit of dating but also quite a
bit of breaking hearts skillful, what you were going to.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Say, there's someone who are shopped around, someone who.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Has been prolific in the dating sphere for a very part.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah no, But I also think you, and in all
the conversations we've had over the last six years of
our friendship, you have been really good at calling things off.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
When it doesn't serve you. It gets easier to tried
and tested. It one of those learn traits that you
have to spend time doing.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Okay, hear me out.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I mean to run you through and you can tell
me what pointer is, dismisses or you know what you
would do differently. So this is your perfect breakup text.
Write this down, guys, put this says you're a bible
if you're in the dating throes.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Okay, firstly, start with a hello in their name.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
No nothing, hi Frank. No no nice names like if
you called them babe or anything like that. None, none,
that's all babe suck.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Yeah, don't do that.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Small gratitude like had a really nice night the other night, right,
something that's like, you know, or thanks for picking that restaurant.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I really enjoyed it. Something really simple to the point.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Next one, get to the point kindly and as honestly
as possible, which is very simply, something like had a
really great time.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I'm not feeling it.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
With you, you know, I hope that you find what is
that you're looking for.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Maybe that's got too much.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I don't even know.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
I could see you even getting oh, LAURIEA getting uncomfortable
reading them.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Then it says end on a positive note, something like
you know, I wish you all the best. I really
enjoyed getting to know you, even though you're giving them
a shit sandwich and telling them that you really didn't
enjoy it that much. And then number five, the friend
opt in. I think that this one is an important one.
The friend opt in where you say, but we could
still be friends. You only say it if you really
mean it, Like, if you're actually going to pursue a friendship,
(03:12):
then you can throw that line in.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
If you're sending this breakup text like after one or
two dates, don't throw the friend thing in.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Just cut your losses.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Really, unless you need a new best friend.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Some people do collect friends, though, some people like go
on single like you know, one or two dates and
then they collect a friendship.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Tally.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Yeah, we have a friend that does that. That's what
we give her.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Dive all the time.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Okay, but I want to give you three one liners
and brit tell me what you think when you're actually
going into like the breakup part of the text, I'm
not feeling a deeper connection here.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Blunt to the point.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Another option, however, I don't see this progressing further between us,
blunt also to the point third one. Unfortunately, I'm just
not feeling a romantic connection between us.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
Have you heard of kiss?
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Like the analogy don't kiss them kiss? Keep it simple, stupid.
You can use it in any aspect of life. Keep
it simple, stupid A compliment sandwich short and sweet. Hey,
Frank had a really nice time at dinner last night.
It was lovely to meet you. I just don't see
it going anywhere. Unfortunately, I didn't feel the connection or
I don't think we have what I'm looking for.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
I hope you have a great weekend. See you later.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
No friend, no nothing, compliment, sandwich short and sweet, thank
them for a nice time.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
It's not you, it's me.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
They're great, and.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Then get the hell out of there. It's okay, and
I think people get I got way.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Better at it, like after the decade of doing it.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
It's really hard at the start, but once you realize
that there are a billion people in the world like
you going on a date with Frank that you met online,
the odds are there is no connection, like your odds
is more stacked against you.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
And it's not personal.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
It's like two people didn't quite match.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
I think it's okay, and I think we take too
much pressure on ourselves for like breaking someone's heart.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
He's gonna be fine, okay For me.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I was someone who was very guilty of doing the
ghost not proud of it now, but I was a ghoster.
I was just if it was one or two dates
and I wasn't into it, I'd just go quiet. I
don't think that that's the right way of handling it.
And now that I'm older, more mature, and if I
could go back and live my life again, I would.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Do it differently.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
But tell me, do you think that after one date
someone deserves a text message?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
And how many dates do you think you need to
go on before it's not a text message anymore?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
It's a phone call. It can always be a text. No,
unless you're married.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
No, I mean if you're exclusive and it's more than
like a couple of dates, but a couple of dates
in it can be a text one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Well, apparently according to this relationship expert, they said, no
more than if five dates, if you've been on five dates,
if that's a phone call, or you could just.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Go no, don't don't take Laura's advice.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
All right, guys, Well that is it from us,
Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen live
on the free iHeart app One thing that I was
particularly bad at when I was in the throes of dating.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Thank god, I am now married and had.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
To go on a reality TV show to find my husband,
But that was the breakup part. I feel like I
hung on to dear life to all of my relationships.
I've said this before, until I drove those things so
far into the ground that they were dead.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, they were so dead. They were lifeless and limp
and sad.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
But I also like, really struggled with the breaking up
part of a relationship. Doesn't matter if I was dating
someone for two days or two years, Like I found
it almost impossible, and I think it's because I'm quite
conflict avoidant.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Do you think it's easier to be on the receiving
end of a breakup or the breaker.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Up erer depends on how blindsided you are. I think
there's no person that's ever gone through a really bad
breakup that's going to sit here and say getting broken
up with is way easier. But I think for some
people there are personality types that find doing the breaking
up incredibly Like I say, in a relationship for an
entire year, knowing that it was over, but I could
not bring myself.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
To break up with him.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
But the reason I wanted to talk about this is
because if you were in the early stages of dating
and you're finding it particularly hard to do the breaking
up with someone when someone doesn't seem right, I came
across an article that has a full proof formula for
how to break up with them. And as someone who
did quite a bit of dating but also quite a
bit of breaking hearts skillful, what you were going to.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Say, there's someone who are shopped around, someone who.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Has been prolific in the dating sphere for a very part.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah no, But I also think you, and in all
the conversations we've had over the last six years of
our friendship, you have been really good at calling things off.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
When it doesn't serve you. It gets easier to tried
and tested. It one of those learn traits that you
have to spend time doing.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Okay, hear me out.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I mean to run you through and you can tell
me what pointer is, dismisses or you know what you
would do differently. So this is your perfect breakup text.
Write this down, guys, put this says you're a bible
if you're in the dating throes.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Okay, firstly, start with a hello in their name.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
No nothing, hi Frank. No no nice names like if
you called them babe or anything like that. None, none,
that's all babe suck.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Yeah, don't do that.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Small gratitude like had a really nice night the other night, right,
something that's like, you know, or thanks for picking that restaurant.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I really enjoyed it. Something really simple to the point.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Next one, get to the point kindly and as honestly
as possible, which is very simply, something like had a
really great time.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I'm not feeling it.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
With you, you know, I hope that you find what is
that you're looking for.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Maybe that's got too much.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I don't even know.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
I could see you even getting oh, LAURIEA getting uncomfortable
reading them.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Then it says end on a positive note, something like
you know, I wish you all the best. I really
enjoyed getting to know you, even though you're giving them
a shit sandwich and telling them that you really didn't
enjoy it that much. And then number five, the friend
opt in. I think that this one is an important one.
The friend opt in where you say, but we could
still be friends. You only say it if you really
mean it, Like, if you're actually going to pursue a friendship,
(03:12):
then you can throw that line in.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
If you're sending this breakup text like after one or
two dates, don't throw the friend thing in.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Just cut your losses.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Really, unless you need a new best friend.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Some people do collect friends, though, some people like go
on single like you know, one or two dates and
then they collect a friendship.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Tally.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Yeah, we have a friend that does that. That's what
we give her.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Dive all the time.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Okay, but I want to give you three one liners
and brit tell me what you think when you're actually
going into like the breakup part of the text, I'm
not feeling a deeper connection here.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Blunt to the point.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Another option, however, I don't see this progressing further between us,
blunt also to the point third one. Unfortunately, I'm just
not feeling a romantic connection between us.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
Have you heard of kiss?
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Like the analogy don't kiss them kiss? Keep it simple, stupid.
You can use it in any aspect of life. Keep
it simple, stupid A compliment sandwich short and sweet. Hey,
Frank had a really nice time at dinner last night.
It was lovely to meet you. I just don't see
it going anywhere. Unfortunately, I didn't feel the connection or
I don't think we have what I'm looking for.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
I hope you have a great weekend. See you later.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
No friend, no nothing, compliment, sandwich short and sweet, thank
them for a nice time.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
It's not you, it's me.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
They're great, and.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Then get the hell out of there. It's okay, and
I think people get I got way.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Better at it, like after the decade of doing it.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
It's really hard at the start, but once you realize
that there are a billion people in the world like
you going on a date with Frank that you met online,
the odds are there is no connection, like your odds
is more stacked against you.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
And it's not personal.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
It's like two people didn't quite match.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
I think it's okay, and I think we take too
much pressure on ourselves for like breaking someone's heart.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
He's gonna be fine, okay For me.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I was someone who was very guilty of doing the
ghost not proud of it now, but I was a ghoster.
I was just if it was one or two dates
and I wasn't into it, I'd just go quiet. I
don't think that that's the right way of handling it.
And now that I'm older, more mature, and if I
could go back and live my life again, I would.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Do it differently.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
But tell me, do you think that after one date
someone deserves a text message?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
And how many dates do you think you need to
go on before it's not a text message anymore?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
It's a phone call. It can always be a text. No,
unless you're married.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
No, I mean if you're exclusive and it's more than
like a couple of dates, but a couple of dates
in it can be a text one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Well, apparently according to this relationship expert, they said, no
more than if five dates, if you've been on five dates,
if that's a phone call, or you could just.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Go no, don't don't take Laura's advice.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
All right, guys, Well that is it from us,
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