October 27, 2025 • 47 mins
What if success didn’t require sacrificing your relationships, health, or happiness along the way? 👀
Today, G chats with Erika, lawyer, podcast host and creator behind The Balance Theory - who proves that you don’t need a dramatic “quit your job and move to Bali” moment to live a fulfilling, purpose-led life.
Inside the episode:
✨ How to redefine who you are outside of your job title
✨ A powerful 2-step exercise to discover what you’re missing right now
✨ Erika’s framework for sustainable success
✨ Honouring seasons of growth without burning out
✨ What it looks like to pursue multiple passions, unapologetically
This is your reminder: you are allowed to want a BIG life… without the guilt, hustle culture pressure or all-or-nothing mindset.
Press play for your permission slip to create success on your terms.
CONNECT WITH ERIKA:
View Erika's instagram here
Listen to The Balance Theory Podcast here
Get Erika's free Life Balance Plan Worksheet here
CONNECT WITH US:
Join our money mindset & energetics course 'The Abundance Academy' here.
Trial our nervous system regulation app, RISE, for free here
New to manifesting? Check out our Manifesting Foundations Kit here.
Find the Manifestation Lab Template HERE
Join the Rise & Conquer Facebook group here.
Follow the Rise & Conquer Instagram here.
Discover Rise & Conquer courses here.
Shop Rise & Conquer products here.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the
land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb
Merry people. They've been having conversations and telling stories on
this land for thousands of years, and we show our
gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture.
(00:21):
This is Rise and Conquer, the podcast where we strive
to become the highest version of ourselves through curious conversations,
healthy mindsets, laughter, connection, and a deep desire to evolve.
I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Join me as we explore parenthood, business, manifestation, and so
much more. It's positive, it's practical.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
And it's about putting you in the driver's seat.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Of your own life.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Hello, my loves, Welcome back to the show today. I
have a very exciting guess. It is the incredible Erica.
She is a legal consultant, podcast host and the voice
behind the Balance Theory podcast, where she's redefining what it
means to have it all as a modern woman. I
(01:18):
actually got asked to come on the Balance Theory podcast
and me and Erica just hit it off. It's like
you know those people where you're on the same wavelength
and you're just like, oh my gosh, I want to
be friends with you, I want to have conversations with you.
So I had to have her on my podcast. A
little bit of her background is she's originally from Sydney,
(01:40):
now living in Dubai. She was also pregnant when we
filmed this episode, so we were pregnant together, which was very,
very sweet. So she is navigating this next chapter with
the same grace and grit that she brings to everything
she does. She has built a thriving podcast that empowers
thousands of wine while maintaining a successful career in the
(02:03):
legal world in Dubai. In this episode, Erica gets real
about what it takes to juggle multiple passions, lean into
seasons of growth, and follow a non linear path to fulfillment.
So whether you're torn between your nine to five and
your creative side hustle, or you're just feeling the call
to something more, Erica really shares some mindset shifts and
(02:27):
some practical steps that has helped her on her ambition
and alignment without burning out. So this episode is really
amazing because I think usually on podcasts we have these
people who you know, they've quit their job and they
go fully in their business, and Erica just really offers
(02:47):
this beautiful insight into how you can still have this beautiful, purposeful,
successful life that doesn't look like that. This conversation is
honestly going to be your permission slip. I know you
guys are gonna love it, so let's get into the show. Eric,
Welcome to the Rise and Conquer Podcast. Thank you so
(03:08):
much for being here.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I'm so excited because I came on your podcasts and
we met in person and I felt an instant connection,
the feelings mutual, and I really wanted to have you
on my podcast because you have such an interesting background
and also mindset like I found on our podcast so
(03:33):
stimulated by your questions and what you were saying, and
I was like, oh, I want to dive deeper into this.
So thank you for having firstly on your body and
then being on my potty. Let's get straight into it. So.
I know you started with corporate law.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
And you just kind of felt.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Like something was missing. Can you talk to us about that?
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Sure? So, I think, like many people, I went through
the whole school UNI get a job right. That was
like the traje I had in my head when I
left school, and I actually put down media and languages
and UNI. But then at the last minute, you know
how we had to put in all our preferences in
like order. I put law at the top, and I thought,
(04:12):
if I get in, I get in, Like if forget
the marks, I'll just see I have it as an option.
It was one of those things like growing up, everyone's like, oh,
you'd be a great lawyer, right. It was just like
in the back of my head, great arguer No, Actually,
I'm actually very diplomatic. I think it's just the way
I communicate. I love reading. I don't know why some
people told me you'd be a great lawyer. So this
is this thing in the back of my head. I
(04:33):
put it down, I got the marks, and I was like, great,
good paying job, Like sounds interesting, I'll just do it.
So I kind of just feel like I fell into it.
I didn't have this like I want to be a
lawyer so bad kind of passion inside me. Then at
the time, during UNI it's a five year degree. You
know you did it too. I found myself very drawn
to different entrepreneurial things, so I would I got my
(04:56):
certificate MPT and I started running boot camp during UNI
with my best friend, which turned into an eCOM business.
Then I was working in cafes, you know, like doing
all the jobs, just trying to get cash to go
to Europe every year. Yeah, And I almost dropped out
of law, actually multiple times, because I was like, I
just love working with people, and anyway, I stuck it
(05:17):
out psychology, almost switched into psychology, ended up in the workforce,
and kind of fell into a banking finance role. And
know when we spoke, you said you went into family law.
For those listening, you kind of have to pick an
area of law and they're all very different. So I
fell into banking finance, which was very corporate, very transactional.
And I remember sitting in my desk one day. I
(05:38):
was working at a mid tier firm in the city.
It was probably two years in at that point, and
I just had this feeling like I had been boxed in.
I was made for more and there was no opportunity
where I was. And when I say that, I mean
it's quite a corporate structure that in that industry, and
so I felt like I was so capable of taking
on more work or supporting the seniors. They wouldn't give
(06:01):
it to me because I was a junior. And then
the second part for me was I was looking at
all my seniors and I didn't want anyone's job above me.
No one was inspiring me to push right. I just
didn't feel driven by the roles, the titles, the options
are available to me. So I had this massive kind
of what the heck moment, like what am I going
(06:22):
to do with my life? I've just spent all this
time studying and working and I don't even know if
this is what I want to do. And that was
a very scary feeling. But you know, fast forward five
to ten years from there. It's led me on many
different parts, but it was this really overwhelming feeling of
I feel stuck and I feel lost because I've committed
(06:43):
my identity to being a lawyer and it really just
doesn't feel like it's it for me.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
And then so what did you do after that? Like
what was the initial thing?
Speaker 3 (06:53):
So I did the whole Oh it's the wrong firm,
let me go work somewhere smaller. Oh it's the wrong team,
let me go work for a difference, wish into like
an in house role, you know, I kind of jumped
around thinking it's the wrong kind of environment. But what
I had to do. And I love talking about this
exercise now because I think a lot of people find
themselves in this position. I think the starting problem or
(07:14):
a thing that I've challenged, that I've faced, was I
was defining myself and my identity through my job title.
And I personally think, even if you have your own business,
like you do, right, and there's so many different aspects
of your business, I think we go wrong in trying
to define ourselves in our job because we're so multifaceted.
(07:34):
There's so many things were interested in, Like you could
be a parent, you could love health and fitness, like
there's just so many different verticals. You know, when you
meet someone right like, oh hi, I'm Erica, I'm a lawyer, right,
we instantly define ourselves by what we do, not who
we are. And so I realized that there were many
aspects of my identity or personality that were not being
(07:54):
met in that job. And so now I kind of
talk about this two step approach. This is really useful
for anyone who's in a job. Not necessarily you have
to quit and start something new. It might even push
you to just start exploring some hobbies right ways to
kind of buffer what you're missing in your current role.
So I had to sit with myself and do some reflection,
(08:15):
which I know your community would love because I know
all the things that you talk about. I love an exercise.
It yes, two steps. So number one, you want to
sit and ask yourself, what are the gaps? What am
I missing in this current role. So my job was
very corporate, was transactional. I was working with paper. I
was missing connecting with people. I was in a big team,
but everyone had their siloed roles. We were not collaborating.
(08:38):
I wasn't getting to genuinely connect with people. One thing
you can always reflect on here is think about when
you were growing up, the things you were naturally drawn to,
things you naturally enjoyed. Every time I was at a party,
I was never that person like hitting a DF. I
was always in the back corner, like just having a
full blown chat with someone, like we were talking about
our lives. Yes, I'm like a professional DNMMA now, but
(09:00):
I was back then, you know, and I was like,
I'm not connecting with anybody on a deep level. So
I realized that was the gap in my job. So
from there you kind of have two choices, right, You're like,
can I integrate this into my role. Is there a
way I can move laterally in the business or move
somewhere else and make sure that this becomes a priority
so I'm not missing it, Or is there a hobby
(09:21):
or way I can start to explore this to kind
of buffer out what I'm missing, Because again, I don't
think any single role should be the one source to
tick all of your boxes of all the things you enjoy.
And so that kind of led me onto the podcast
right perfect place to have genuine connection with people and learn.
And also I felt like I wasn't really growing from
like a personal development point of view in my job
because it was very corporate.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Yep, you wanted to be expanded exactly.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
So when you work out what the gap is, the
second part is how can you start bringing that into reality,
whether it's through a job or through a hobby. So
for me, became the podcast through the hobby and then
it slowly grew from there. So I didn't have this
dramatic I'm going to quit my job and follow my
passion in a moment, I just had this realization I'm
missing this key thing. He's a practical way it can
start to explore it and it kind of grew from there.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I love that. And then so the balance, theory, the name,
the idea of the concept. How did you come up
with it?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
The way I actually landed on, let's do a podcast.
My husband and I. It wasn't wasn't my husband then,
but we're driving home on Newsday and we had Gary
v on YouTube, you know, like news Day Janie Iron
will so get up, like we'll think about our goals
for the year. And I had this in the back
of my head right like I want to do something
where I can connect with people. And Gary Ve said
this thing. He said, if you've got the skill of communication,
(10:38):
you need to be sharing that with the world through
a YouTube channel, a podcast, some form of medium. And
my husband paused it and he looked at me and
he said, you should start a podcast. Really, And I
just had this like emotional parting of the cea moment
where I felt so calm, I felt so present, like
I had just seen exactly what I needed to do.
And mind you, I had never thought about hosting a
(11:01):
show before. Like it wasn't even like I had mentioned
it in the past. It was just like he said it,
and it felt so right. It was this very rare
intuitive moment I've had where I was like, I feel
like I need to do this. So then the question came,
what am I going to have a podcast about. At
the time, I was really into personal development, right, so
I was looking for these kind of sources already. I
(11:21):
was into a lot of reading, and I was listening
to other podcasts, and so naturally it fell in that
self development space and the podcast. The balance theory is
all about reframing life balance. So for me and I
know this is a case for you and probably all
of your listeners because they are most likely very aligned
with you. We're all ambitious women, right we want to
(11:43):
do a lot, we want to have big goals. I
felt like there was this compromise where if you wanted
to have that, you had to sacrifice your health, you
have to sacrifice your relationships, you have to put your
head down, and you have to hustle and do nothing
but the hustle if you want to achieve big things
in your life. I'm not saying that's an unsuccessful way
to approach things, because people are very successful, just you know,
(12:04):
putting their head down and grinding. But what I started
to observe was a lot of these successful people who
were ten twenty years older than me, they would always
come out the other end and talk about how wrecked
their health was in the process, how they lost their marriage,
how they had to pick up their life from scratch.
And so I became really interested in the idea of
a sustainable way to approach success, but really framing in
(12:25):
a way where we don't feel like we're compromising on
the way we are navigating that process. It really comes
down to knowing your priorities and making them priorities. So
saying something is important actually making it important, and that
clarity piece, I feel like is the biggest breakup between
spending your time in a way that's going to serve
(12:46):
you and not. Because I also realized, like, if I
can sleep my eight hours a night, if I can
train every day, the time I spend at work is
much more optimal than if I was to sit down
and force myself for sixteen hours and do the hustle,
nothing but the hustle. So I really wanted to change
the conversation around how we approach ambition and success, and
(13:06):
not in a way that this is a trade off.
It's a way that your balance is unique to you
and you need to have clarity on what that is.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I love that, So try and rack your brain. What
is like the best advice that you've had, you know,
contributing to the balance theory on your podcast from someone?
Speaker 3 (13:29):
That's a big question. I've had it for five I
don't just.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Say, I know there would be so many, but is
there one that just comes to mind that has really
resonated with someone who because I've done it, I've done
the all nothing approach, and it's you get to places
very fast, and it's very successful, but it's not sustainable.
And it's also again, you always sacrifice something. So I
(13:54):
love that you're talking about this, and it's a conversation
we need to have more. I literally just had the
thought of, like, oh, what's the best advice you've ever
received about it?
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Maybe what I can share is so over the years,
I've kind of crafted a framework right on how to
actually apply this to your own life, which has been
shaped by many of the conversations that have had you know,
like when I started the podcast, I had this concept,
but I wanted to develop a framework, but I didn't
want the framework to be like, here's the blueprint, copy paste,
(14:24):
you go run with your life, because if we're trying
to mimic somebody else's idea of balance, it doesn't work.
Because what I realized as well was balance is not
just different between you and I, it's different for me
at different moments in my.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Life, different seasons exactly.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
I think maybe it would be useful is if I
share the framework on how people can actually apply this. Yes,
we've got a few steps, so you know, pads out.
The analogy I really love to use is garden beds.
When I sat down, the classic way we talk about
balance is your work life balance, and I hate that
formula approach. It seemed to be the only one that
(15:02):
was available when I was thinking about this concept. Right,
fifty work fifty life. It kind of you have to
find some equilibrium, right, And I just feel like that's
the wrong way to approach balance. And for me using
that as my lens or my frame, it constantly led
me to feeling guilty like I wasn't doing enough. I
felt overwhelmed that I had too much to do. It
just didn't give me any clarity. And so where I've
(15:24):
landed is you've got three areas. Your health, which is
your physical and mental. Your relationships, which are your friendships,
your family, and romantic if you have one. In the
third area, I decided not to call it work. I
decided to call it fulfillment because I think, yes, our
work plays a part of that. That might be you
you're in a career based job, or you've got a business,
(15:45):
But it's also our hobbies. It's also our studies. It's
also the things we learn and to stimulate ourselves, the reading, etc.
So your three areas, your health, your relationships, and your fulfillment.
Each of these are garden beds. When we talk about
garden beds, there is a very bar essential minimum that
garden beds need to survive. They need a bit of
(16:05):
sun and a bit of water. So when we talk
about our priorities and getting clear in our priorities, the
first step in this approach is to ask ourselves what
are those non negotiables. These are like our tier one priorities.
They're the sun in the water for our garden beds.
And it's so tempting at this stage to try and
(16:26):
do like a fifty page list and have like a
fifty step morning routine and try and make it perfect.
That's not the aim here. The aim is to have
it as succinct as possible, like two or three things maximum,
so you can actually make those things like priority in
your day to day. We have to be like realistic
with the time we have too. We don't have no
everyone has like five hours in the morning, right. I mean,
if you do, that's amazing, and you could probably build
(16:47):
out like a really cool morning routine, very jalous, but
most people, you know, I find I'm a very simple person,
Like I like something that's easy to follow. So for me,
for my health, for example, it's eight hours of sleep,
make sure I'm making my own food, and moving every day.
And the reason those are my top three is because
I know that without those I can't energetically show up
(17:09):
the way onto every day. It's not because I've read
somewhere else seen that saunas are amazing or that cold
plunge is the best thing. Like I actually hate cold showers.
Like I tried to do the whole thing, am not
absolutely Like I'll do the whole icepa thing once in
a while, but not the daily cold showers. I just can't.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I do love a sauna though, love a sauna.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Do love a sauna. It's got to match on hair
wash day though. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
True.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
The idea is to really just put two or three
things for every garden bed and build your routine around that.
And if you kind of want to take it a
step back, an exercise I get people to do is
like track their time for a week. Then you look
at your non negotiables because if you're saying that these
things are important but they don't have space in your routine,
then where's that time going? So you can do like
(17:52):
a week. Maybe I'll actually send you a link to
a free worksheet I've got where people can do food
in the show notes. Yeah, people can just do a
time yeah, and then you redo the time audit with
your non negotiables and see how that kind of changes things.
So just as another quick example for your relationships, right,
I love my girlfriends. I mean I don't live in
the same city as them at the moment, but having
(18:14):
like one week night where I'm with the girls and
like having that feminine energy around me and just touching
base that's so important for me. It's really important for
my balance to just give me a different dynamic through
the week. Family dinner nights are really important to me,
So one night with my family, one night with my girlfriends,
and then having me and my husband. We have a
rule we have dinner together every night, no phones. Right,
(18:35):
It's just simple things that ground me and keep those
relationships like present and close in my daily life or
my weekly life. So it doesn't have to be anything complicated.
It's just what's important to you and how do you
make this feature in your life. It's kind of the
first tier and then the second tier we have so
the first ones are no negotiables and then the second
ones are like your wants, so there's still priorities. But
(18:57):
if we use the garden analogy, these are more akin
to like if you're added fertilizer to your garden beds,
they're only going to add value, but the garden's still
going to be fine without it. So these would be
things like you want to go on a second date
night with your husband, or you'd love to add in
two saunas a week, or you love doing a sunset
walk and that's in addition to your daily movement. So
it's all these things and I love building this out
(19:18):
because it's like a menu option of things that you're like,
I'm bought, I've got nothing to do, or I want
to do something on Thursday, rather than just saying because
that was me used to say yes to like whatever
popped up in the calendar. So this kind of gave
me again, like a bit of a frame of what's
going to add value to my balance and bolster these
garden areas. The other thing I'll just add, which because
(19:39):
you brought it up before, the idea of seasonality. That's
why I love using the garden analogy because you have
different seasons of fruit and vege. Right, there's winter, this summer.
The way this applies in this analogy is sometimes work
is hectic. You've got to end a financial your sale,
something happens in health. You have to go all in
on your health. And what we categorically do is we
(20:00):
go all in on the area and neglect everything else.
And if you think about the garden analogy, your garden
would will to die and that wouldn't be sustainable. Right,
So the idea here is to allow for those seasons
to come up and let yourself go all in if
you need to. But that looks like still maintaining the
other gardens with those basics, the non negotiables. So I
(20:21):
love that that's the framework that's been developed over time
with all the conversations I've had and kind of like
the more and more thought about it, And I love
it because it's not like this is how you do balance.
It's just like this is a framework and you make
it make sense for yourself.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, I even love something I'll often do and this
is it really came from Cooper spoke to me about
it years ago, and it's like realizing kind of similar.
But it's like you have buckets, so yeah, it might
be like family, your partner, job, and then it's like
really good every month to do an audit and be
(20:56):
like what buckets are really fall and what are quite
empty and where do you kind of need to like
pour more in.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Or focus more.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
And I find it helpful because again, like you said,
you're not going to be one hundred percent in every
area all the time. It's just like it's not feasible.
And it's also again, I don't want to be like
the same in life. I want to have different, yeah experiences,
So like, for example, I just went through a really hectic,
(21:28):
like busy month with work where I had to you know,
fly to a different state and I was doing a
talk and then I had a photo shoots, you know,
all these things happening. So like the work bucket was
like really full, and like the self care and the
family time was like probably it was leaking kind of thing,
and not being like too hard on myself, but being
(21:51):
like okay, well, next month, let's switch that, let's overfill
the other buckets and being okay with that, because I
think sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves. We
can be like, oh my god, I haven't spent any
time with my partner, so I'm a horrible partner, or
you know those sorts of things. So also understanding that
it's okay to go hard in some areas of your life,
(22:13):
but also know that it's not sustainable and you've got
to switch it up and you've got to pour into
other areas. And also it's not sustainable that they're all
going to be equal all the time.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Yeah, like we're not perfect.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
It's just it's not how life's going to do it.
So being okay with that, I think, even like something
I've been thinking a lot lately, is like the duality
of life, like being okay with things being a bit
chaotic and those sorts of things really strengthening your emotional
intelligence and like working on your nervous system during those things,
(22:47):
because like in the end, we're always going to run
into chaos, We're always going to run into busy seasons,
We're always going to have hardships, And it's more like
how do you be throughout that.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
Yeah, it's funny you bring that up, like the duality
of life, because I feel like it's not something we
acknowledge enough that you could feel too such contrasting emotions
at the same time. Like I live overseas, so whenever
I come home to Australia, I have this big emotional
separate experience where I'm like so grateful to be back
(23:20):
and I'm so happy to see everyone, but then at
the same time, it's like in my face that this
is what I'm missing all the time. And then it's
also like on the flip of that, i always miss home,
but then when I'm here it feels like I'm not
ready to move back. And so when you're going through it,
it feels like such an abnormal experience, but you're right,
like just allowing yourself.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Allowing it be not making yourself wrong about it.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Yeah. Yeah, And back to what you were saying, like,
I mean even with this where you're like, it's so simple,
a couple of things for each area of your life,
life still happens, right, So it's more like this is
your framework. And I guarantee you if you genuinely find
the couple things that fill you up, would make you
happy when you're feeling off, you'll be able to quickly say, oh,
(24:03):
it's because I haven't spent time with my daughter. Well,
for me, it's like when I skip my meditation, I'll
just forget to do it, you know, like there's always
something that I know is so important from my sense
of groundedness, and it's just a case of Okay, now
I know what I need to do, not I'm going
to feel so guilty that I haven't been doing it.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Yeah, And it's just knowing when you need to like
switch and change.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
I love that shift gears. You know, you stepped away
from the traditional corporate and then you have gone into
so you're currently an in house lawyer. How would you
describe it again?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
You're liked a fractional in house lawyer. Yeah, I'm like
running my own business.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
You run your own business in house lawyer. What I
love about you two, Erica is the fact that you
know you have obviously your podcast, the balance, the really
you're doing that, You've got your ECMM business, You've got
your own business of the in house lawyer. You haven't
kind of made yourself pick one, do you know what
I mean? Like you're okay with like I can be
(25:06):
all these things, and I can, because I think sometimes
there's this perception that to be successful, it's something you
have to go all in and you have to be
like ride or die, And I just don't believe in
that because I'm also a very multi passionate person. Like,
how do you kind of feel about that? And how
(25:26):
was like the identity framework around that.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
It's a really good question. It's honestly something I've struggled
with in the past because I felt like I want
to work on my personal brand, but like, how do
I position myself because I'm not like talking to one
type of person, I could maybe be speaking to multiple
Like I have so many different aspects of who I am,
And when I felt like I was stuck in that
corporate job, and I had that one identity, Like I
(25:51):
just felt so suffocated, and so for me, it kind
of came forcefully out of me trying to be the
one thing. And then I've also had this other side
where I'm like, if I'm not doing one thing one
hundred percent, am I just doing everything else at thirty
three percent each? Like? Am I missing out here on
actually building something? But as time has gone on, I've
(26:11):
just seen that there's been seasons for things like the
podcast had a big season last year, Like we had
a massive growth phase last year. There was a lot
of change. I brought in a lot of new things,
and just the way I was doing things was different.
This year, kind of the legal consulting has taken more
front seat because I've got baby on the way, and
that shift, which I'm sure we'll talk about, has kind
(26:32):
of been a part of me wanting a bit more
of a flexible lifestyle. So it's definitely something I've struggled with,
and I think we don't speak about enough how to
be okay with just kind of letting yourself explore different aspects.
But I think still within that, you still have seasons
where something is the most important at that moment of time,
(26:54):
and that doesn't have to be like for three years,
I'm just doing this. It could just be look this
week or this month, this is taking priority. I'm focusing
on this, like this week, I'm here in Queensland, I'm
doing the podcast, I'm not doing any other work. So
I think it's just being flexible and not trying to
have to be one thing all the time. Like you're
never going to be one thing all the time. Sometimes
you need to be looked after as well. You know,
(27:15):
you need to let yourself be different roles and you
have needs as well as a person. So it's good
life practice as well.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I love that there is this weird sort of thing
of if you are really serious about something, you go
all in. I just, yeah, I don't agree. I don't
agree that. I like you said, I love having seasons
for things. I love going in and out of, you know,
certain businesses. I feel like it's very feminine.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Yeah, it's like more creative flowy.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, I get that, and I feel a lot more
filled up when I'm doing that too.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
But it's interesting because the way we study and the
way like for people listening, you have more of a
corporate job, it's very masculine, like so masculine, and I
had this she was like a female dietitian. I think
she was or more in the nutritionist space, and we
were talking about the difference between female and male cycles,
and the way the corporate world is structured is on
(28:12):
a male cycle, the testoseron levels reset every twenty four hours,
whereas us females, it's like on average twenty eight days.
But we're expected to go in and be the same
and perform the same every day, and we put that
expectation on ourselves. So when I shifted into this more
flexible kind of routine and I've got a few different things,
it's actually really nice to be like, actually, today I'm
(28:35):
not feeling as energetic. I'm not going to go and
record like ten podcasts because it's not going to come
out as authentically. I'm going to do more of the
admin or editing or whatever like. So you kind of
have options that way, but I was stuck in that, like,
I haven't given one hundred percent today like I did
every other day. Yeah, but I saw this really good
like visual on Instagram and it was like one hundred
(28:56):
percent every day and it was like one day was
five percent, the next day was thirty. If you've only
got five percent to give that day and you give
five percent, you've given one hundred percent. Yeah, that's a
really nice refrain.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Well, I think it's even like, what have you found
with stepping more into your feminine? Because, yeah, like corporate life,
I was in it, you experienced it. It's very masculine,
it's very structured, it's very this is the way to
do things. How has it felt kind of stepping into
your feminine? And then also, you guys, if you're just listening,
(29:30):
you can't see for Erica is twenty six weeks pregnant almost, Yeah,
twenty six weeks pregnant, So you are about to come
a first time mum, so exciting with a baby girl.
How does that kind of feel with what you're doing
with work and the podcast and all those sorts of things.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
So kind of the reality I'm living right now is
a very intentional move. So twelve months ago I made
the decision to quit my corporate job and basically do
that same work, but on a consulting basis. So I
get to pick the clients I work with, I get
to choose the hours I work, and this all sounds
very glamorous, and it took a lot of time to build, right,
(30:09):
And it wasn't like this I'm just going to go
and do this heroic kind of moment. It was filled
with so much fear and like, have I made the
right choice stepping away from like a stable income when
I have a baby on the way, Like all of
that went through my head, But I know that the
kind of life it would give me, with the effort
I would put behind it would be one that gave
me flexibility so that I could still make money doing
(30:32):
something I really enjoy and be involved in business and
do legal work. I always say I really always enjoyed
the work, like genuinely, especially when I moved out of
banking finance and moved more into like a corporate commercial role.
It's more like you're getting to do the legals for
a business that's doing cool things. That's how I see it.
I got to be involved in businesses, but when I
(30:52):
was doing it for someone else, it was very corporate
and it was very transactional, Whereas I'm like, I don't know,
like wearing suits, like I'd love to meet you over
a coffee in a cafe like I'm relationship based, like
I love connecting with people again. So the shift for
me has been incredible. And it took a lot of
months of hard work to kind of build up my
books and tell people what I do and actually work
(31:13):
out what do I like to do, how do I
like to run things? But it just feels like it's
all fallen into place. And as I said, it was
very intentional because I had to get very clear on
I know, I want to have kids, so what kind
of a mum don't want to be? So what kind
of a life do I want to have? Do I
still want to have things for myself, you know? And
everyone's answers to these are going to be so different.
But I have the podcast and I didn't want to
(31:34):
stop that. I did genuinely enjoy what I was doing
for work, and it's my source of main income at
the moment. And so finding a way to make time
for all this in an environment that I didn't have
to physically go into an office every day so I
can be present with my child and I can work
flexible hours, that was really important to me. So being
(31:54):
in this position now where I have that flexibility, it's
just surreal feeling, you know, when you like, I don't
want to yeah, I'll use the word manifest something, but
you also get clear on something and you just build
a path and you're putting the steps to get there.
I feel really at peace knowing that I've created what
I think will be the right environment for the life
hum foreseeing and she arrives.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
I love that so much. What's interesting is what you
said there of you know, leaving your corporate job, you
did experience the fear and the doubt. But now that you're,
you know, twelve months down the track, it sounds like
you're like, of course I did it, because like I'm living,
you know, my dream life. I'm living the outcome that
(32:36):
I want it. For someone who's maybe you know, they
haven't left the job, or they haven't left the relationship,
or they haven't you know, they haven't done that jump.
And like you said, it doesn't have to be this
huge jump, but it's still it's still risky, it still
can dysregulate us. For that person who does want to
make a big change, they do want to take the
(32:58):
risk and they do want to take the jumpt but
they've got all those inner critic beautiful feelings. Yeah, incredible
duality feelings. What would you say to that? What would
be your advice?
Speaker 3 (33:11):
I would say to you, what your feeling is so normal?
Every time you push yourself out of your comfort zone,
whether it's a drastic step or it's something really small,
you're going to feel that. And what we do a
lot of the time is we internalize that as this
phrase imposter syndrome. Right, But if you just think from
like a primal point of view, our brains are designed
(33:33):
to keep us safe. Emotions are designed to tell us
how we feel about certain things. So when we are
out of our comfort zone, by definition, you're doing something
that's uncomfortable because it's not familiar to you. You're going
to feel uncomfortable because it's not part of your current
routine and lifestyle. And so what I had to do
is the best advice I would give to someone. You
(33:54):
have to change the narrative on what you make that
mean about yourself. It doesn't mean you're making the wrong decision,
It doesn't mean you're not capable or worthy. It just
means you're pushing yourself. Of course, you're going to feel
those feelings, like I'm sure without a doubt every time
you do something out of your comfort zone, speaking on
a bigger stage or having a new milestone in your business,
(34:15):
or trying something new like that, I'm sure will come
up for you. And I think reminding yourself that every
single person you look up to, like even still today,
like I've had the podcast for five years, there are
still moments where I have that feeling. And I think,
as long as you are growing and striving as a
person and you're making decisions that are pulling you forward,
you're going to feel that. But you need to change
(34:38):
the story on what you tell yourself it means about you,
because it's not going to go away. I just that's
kind of how I've started to think about it, because
I just find myself over and over again every time
I push myself, I move overseas, I step out and
do my own business. I move from Zoom podcast in
person podcast, I travel into state to do interviews, Like
(34:58):
every single time, I feel the same feeling, And it's
just that primal feeling of you're out of your comfort
zone and I'm like, cool, I'm pushing myself. I'm doing
something you mind you, It doesn't help. The feeling doesn't
get any more glamorous.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
No, it's the same feeling.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
You're just changing the story and you're rewirrying yourself on
what you're telling yourself.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
It means that's so powerful.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
It's really important because the way you think and feel
about yourself, you know, it reflects in exactly everything you
have around you. Ah, that's so powerful. I love that.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
I would love to know kind of your perspective if
you feel like motherhood will shift your approach to work,
and if you first see that evolution looking a certain way,
if you're kind of putting anything in place, like obviously,
I no, You've put a lot in place, But I'd
(35:50):
love to know your opinion on that, because you know,
I'm sure you have those thoughts and you have ideas,
and you've interviewed some incredible mothers. So what's that sort
of figure.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
I think there's a practical side to this, which is
like what steps have I implemented? And then there's like
more the emotional mental side. So on the practical side,
what this looks like for me is I've pre recorded
the podcast. Well I'm up till joing July now, but
I'd like to get to October November because I just
don't want that stress of you know. And I'm like,
(36:21):
I have missed an episode in five years outside of
season breaks, and I'm very committed to not you know,
to keeping up. Even though people like totally understand if
I like need to take time off, I'm just like,
I want to keep that going. So getting ahead with
that has been important. And then having this shift with
work where I have more project based clients rather than
(36:41):
I'm working thirty eight hours a week means I can
wrap things up before and pick them up kind of
when I'm ready to go. That's the practical stuff. They're
necessary on the mental emotional side, and I'm kind of
approaching labor in the same way. It's not something I've
been through, and I think I can have this shiny
plan of how I think is going to go and
all the ways I think it's gonna be, and even
(37:03):
the way I see motherhood. But I am approaching this
like I do with most things in life, or at
least going to try to. And I think the best
skill you can have is that of flexibility. I think
it's important to have a plan. I mean that that
makes me feel comfortable. For some people, They're like, no,
I'm just going to go with the flow, like for
me personally, being a little bit more researched and having
a baseline understanding of Okay, what are my hospital preferences
(37:26):
or when I go home go on visitors, like starting
to think about those things. That's important for me.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
I'm the exact same. But if it doesn't go to
a planet, it's like I just would like to feel
somewhat in control before exactly.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Right, but that needs to really be balanced with just
when the time comes, like just being with myself and
knowing what I need in the moment. So I know
that hasn't really directly answered your question. I think that
becoming a mum will only amplify my life experience. I'm
very excited to go through it. I don't want to
(37:56):
put too much pressure on like cool, when I get
the hang of being a I'm just going to go
back to what I'm doing now because I just physically, no,
I'm not going to be the same, Like things are
just going to look different. And what if, like I
don't actually even want to go back to work, Like
what if I just want to raise my kids and
keep having more and that's it, Like I just want
to be okay with wherever I'm at, meet myself with
(38:17):
wherever I'm at. So I don't really have too many
ideas or hopes for like after, I'm just aligning things
so that I can take time off to be really
present and then pick things up when I want. I
guess I'm trying to be really flexible with it because
I'm and I honestly think my baby's so chill because
I'm not normally like this. This is so my husband's
(38:38):
grow a great sign.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
So when's the judate July July eighteenth, so that is can.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
Loving sweet vibes.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
My parents are both cancers.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Yeah, very sad.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Both my sisters are too, very loving, very sensitive.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Because I'm a Leo, so you're Leo too. Yeah, so
I'm normally like planned, structu rigid. But I'm like, look,
how chiller just sounded. I know I sounded chill. Someone's
probably listening, like, girl, you're not chill.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
My duja is on the cusp of Leo and Virgo.
But also it's probably a Virgo because I feel so
I don't feel like a Leo right now, and I'm
a Leo. I feel so different. I feel so relaxed.
I feel so chilled. So I definitely believe in that,
like you very much take on the energy of the child.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
Well remember you sharing it and I was like, that's
what made me think about it now. I was like yeah,
because I was like, I've never heard anyone articulated, and
I was like, that actually makes sense to me because genuinely,
this feels like the biggest life event I've ever gone
through and I feel really like chill about it.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Yeah, yeah, well that's even like with Ivy's pregnancy. With
my first child, I was like hectic. I took on
so many work projects. I committed to work projects after
and again I think that was a bit of naivety
there with me, just like yeah, and I had so
much energy and I was I did my first co
(40:01):
lab with Pedal and Pop and I was like huge energy.
But I felt like I had so much energy, so
much charisma, so much like outgoingness. And it's so funny
because then I birthed. Ivy didn't feel like that at all,
had to finish all these projects and that's her personality
to a tea. Wow, was this pregnancy so chill? Any
(40:25):
work projects coming up? I'm like absolutely not, like not
committing to anything. Very so sensitive. I wouldn't say I'm
a sensitive person. And even like I remember the first
trimester like with my husband, I know, hormones, but like
so sensitive and he was even like are you okay?
Like this is not normal, and I'm like, God, child's
(40:45):
really sestive.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
We're gonna have to circle back in like twelve to
twenty four months and be like, did we get chillers?
Speaker 2 (40:52):
I know, Well, it's gonna be funny if I get
another Leocs and I'd be like, joke's on you.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
Well, they say Leo boys are different to Leo girl,
so you get a Leo. It is a boy that
could explain it as well.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Cooper's a Leo boy. Yeah, and he's so different to me,
like talk and cheese, but a lot of like same
undercurrents with like drive and ambition, but so chill anyway
timeshell till Yeah, Well.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
We'll keep you updated.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
No. I love that. That's incredible because you really you
can't plan, but it is good to have some sort
of like you know, basis. And I think something that
I would love for you to chat on is I
feel like a lot of people struggle with that identity
shifting piece. So, like you said, you know, you were
doing corporate and then you did the in house lawyer.
(41:38):
You know, you started the podcast, and you have to
really shift and change your identity. I feel like, from
what I'm seeing on the outside, you do that quite well,
and it looks like you are able to kind of shift,
and I kind of I love calling it like shape shifting,
and I think it's really important as a woman to
be a shape shifter. But again, I feel like people
(42:00):
struggle with the identity piece because they go all in
of like, well, I'm the corporate lawyer and this is
you know what my life's built on. What would you
sort of say to that person, because I can even
see the way that you're articulating is you're going to
be so okay if you want to shift into being
a stay at homer or you know that sort of thing.
You're not sort of anchored on the identity, which I
(42:22):
think is a superpower.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Thank you. Well, It's taken time, and I certainly didn't
start here, But I think the first place is to
accept that you're not supposed to be one thing. You're
really not supposed to be one thing. And I think
when you really peel under that, right. And I actually
remember you saying this on my podcast that one of
the things you had to unlearn or part with when
you decided to step away from being a lawyer was
(42:46):
kind of like the stature or the reputation of what
it meant to be a lawyer, the way people would
be like, oh my god, like you're a lawyer. Like,
I get it all the time. And so I think
a piece of this is not just you being okay
with not being one thing, but it's also so what
do you think that makes other people think about you? Right,
if you're a mum, but also doing these do you
think that people think that you're less of a mum?
(43:08):
And I think it's really interesting to reflect on this
because most of the time those are internal thoughts you
have about yourself. It's actually not what other people think
at all. Right, people looking like, that's so amazing, she's
a mum. She's also got a cooking page, or she's
also like really into her gym or whatever. Right, But
these judgments that we fear often the inside out. So
(43:30):
being okay with not being one thing, paying attention to
any judgments that you're fearing, and just really sitting with
yourself and asking yourself, is that a judgment that I have? Right?
If I saw someone else doing that, would I have
those thoughts? Because I think then that gives you a
place to work out. Start journaling on it, start meditating
on it, start working with your therapist, you know, whatever
(43:51):
your outlet is, Start thinking about why that's a judgment
you hold. Is it from a young age? Maybe that's
what your parents said, and you've just like it's the
same thing you talk about with money, right, no different,
So work out why you don't think it's okay to
have a multifaceted identity, because once you accept that, like genuinely,
(44:12):
it's very easy to give your self permission to experience
different things. And I just see life now as this
just abundant place to have so many experiences. Like you're
really cutting yourself off if you box yourself into one thing,
even if it's something you love, right and you're obsessed with,
doesn't mean you have to have five different, like main
(44:32):
events in your life, right, Like you could still let
yourself explore things and try things in a much more
passive way. Like it doesn't have Like I said, you
don't have to start a hobby that turns into a
sign hustle. You could just do little things for yourself,
like I'm going to try this gym class today. You know,
you guys have to listening, you have to make it
make sense for you. But I would say, I would
(44:55):
say that give yourself permission. But there's a bit of
work that sits under that.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
I love that so much, And I feel like you
hit the nail on the head of any judgments that
you think other people are going to give you, or
like the fear around what you think is going to
happen has literally nothing to do with anyone else, and
it's all your fear and it's all your judgments. And
what's great about that is you can always dissolve them
(45:20):
alchemize it. So it's really just showing you, Yeah, like
you said, what you need to work on, and you
can always shift and change that, so it's like it's
not actually a problem.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
Yeah, it's just identifying like your next project. Yeah, you know,
And if you can have those kinds of thoughts means
you can have different kinds of.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
Thoughts, but it does take work, yeah, and it's like
but it's also being like so like, thank god, I
realize that, Yes, thank god, I recognize that. I get
to work on that. I get to you know, shift
and dissolve it, because otherwise it would just be sitting
unconsciously unaware of it, running the.
Speaker 3 (45:54):
Show exactly solo.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Yeah, you want to kind of bring it forth.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
Yeah, And that's really goes the same for you know,
you mentioned before someone that hasn't made the jump to
leave a relationship or a job like these things. Even
though we've identified okay, maybe this isn't serving me, I've
also shifted my perspective on those things and said, actually,
all those experiences are necessary because when you end up
having a job you love or relationship you know is
(46:20):
the one, or anything like that, you know that because
you have a point of reference of other things, you
know what you don't like. So those things also serve
a purpose, even though they may not end in the
best way, and you know they may cause you grief
at the time, it's necessary to push you, you know,
give you a nudge and like, no, no, this is
the wrong direction. You got to go this way.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
I love that so much. That's such a good like
mindset shift, Erica. It has been such a pleasure to
have you on the Rise and Conquered podcast. Thank you
so much. Where can everyone go and listen to your podcast?
Hear about you, follow you all the things.
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Thank you so much for having me on it. You know,
like you said, we clicked when you came on the show,
so it's is a real honor to now be a
guest on yours. Oh thanks, And you know Rise and
Conquers the podcast. I've also been listening to you for
many years. I love what you've done and watching your evolution.
Now sitting here talking to you special, so I appreciate you.
The podcast is basically the Balance Theory podcast on all platforms, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram.
(47:20):
My personal is Erica with a k DP E l E.
I'm sure you link it. That's basically where I live online.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
So amazing guys, go say hi and listen to the
Balance Theory. You've had some incredible guests and you do
amazing podcasts, so I know my audience would just rough that.
Speaker 3 (47:36):
I appreciate you. Thank you.
I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the
land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb
Merry people. They've been having conversations and telling stories on
this land for thousands of years, and we show our
gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture.
(00:21):
This is Rise and Conquer, the podcast where we strive
to become the highest version of ourselves through curious conversations,
healthy mindsets, laughter, connection, and a deep desire to evolve.
I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Join me as we explore parenthood, business, manifestation, and so
much more. It's positive, it's practical.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
And it's about putting you in the driver's seat.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Of your own life.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Hello, my loves, Welcome back to the show today. I
have a very exciting guess. It is the incredible Erica.
She is a legal consultant, podcast host and the voice
behind the Balance Theory podcast, where she's redefining what it
means to have it all as a modern woman. I
(01:18):
actually got asked to come on the Balance Theory podcast
and me and Erica just hit it off. It's like
you know those people where you're on the same wavelength
and you're just like, oh my gosh, I want to
be friends with you, I want to have conversations with you.
So I had to have her on my podcast. A
little bit of her background is she's originally from Sydney,
(01:40):
now living in Dubai. She was also pregnant when we
filmed this episode, so we were pregnant together, which was very,
very sweet. So she is navigating this next chapter with
the same grace and grit that she brings to everything
she does. She has built a thriving podcast that empowers
thousands of wine while maintaining a successful career in the
(02:03):
legal world in Dubai. In this episode, Erica gets real
about what it takes to juggle multiple passions, lean into
seasons of growth, and follow a non linear path to fulfillment.
So whether you're torn between your nine to five and
your creative side hustle, or you're just feeling the call
to something more, Erica really shares some mindset shifts and
(02:27):
some practical steps that has helped her on her ambition
and alignment without burning out. So this episode is really
amazing because I think usually on podcasts we have these
people who you know, they've quit their job and they
go fully in their business, and Erica just really offers
(02:47):
this beautiful insight into how you can still have this beautiful, purposeful,
successful life that doesn't look like that. This conversation is
honestly going to be your permission slip. I know you
guys are gonna love it, so let's get into the show. Eric,
Welcome to the Rise and Conquer Podcast. Thank you so
(03:08):
much for being here.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I'm so excited because I came on your podcasts and
we met in person and I felt an instant connection,
the feelings mutual, and I really wanted to have you
on my podcast because you have such an interesting background
and also mindset like I found on our podcast so
(03:33):
stimulated by your questions and what you were saying, and
I was like, oh, I want to dive deeper into this.
So thank you for having firstly on your body and
then being on my potty. Let's get straight into it. So.
I know you started with corporate law.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
And you just kind of felt.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Like something was missing. Can you talk to us about that?
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Sure? So, I think, like many people, I went through
the whole school UNI get a job right. That was
like the traje I had in my head when I
left school, and I actually put down media and languages
and UNI. But then at the last minute, you know
how we had to put in all our preferences in
like order. I put law at the top, and I thought,
(04:12):
if I get in, I get in, Like if forget
the marks, I'll just see I have it as an option.
It was one of those things like growing up, everyone's like, oh,
you'd be a great lawyer, right. It was just like
in the back of my head, great arguer No, Actually,
I'm actually very diplomatic. I think it's just the way
I communicate. I love reading. I don't know why some
people told me you'd be a great lawyer. So this
is this thing in the back of my head. I
(04:33):
put it down, I got the marks, and I was like, great,
good paying job, Like sounds interesting, I'll just do it.
So I kind of just feel like I fell into it.
I didn't have this like I want to be a
lawyer so bad kind of passion inside me. Then at
the time, during UNI it's a five year degree. You
know you did it too. I found myself very drawn
to different entrepreneurial things, so I would I got my
(04:56):
certificate MPT and I started running boot camp during UNI
with my best friend, which turned into an eCOM business.
Then I was working in cafes, you know, like doing
all the jobs, just trying to get cash to go
to Europe every year. Yeah, And I almost dropped out
of law, actually multiple times, because I was like, I
just love working with people, and anyway, I stuck it
(05:17):
out psychology, almost switched into psychology, ended up in the workforce,
and kind of fell into a banking finance role. And
know when we spoke, you said you went into family law.
For those listening, you kind of have to pick an
area of law and they're all very different. So I
fell into banking finance, which was very corporate, very transactional.
And I remember sitting in my desk one day. I
(05:38):
was working at a mid tier firm in the city.
It was probably two years in at that point, and
I just had this feeling like I had been boxed in.
I was made for more and there was no opportunity
where I was. And when I say that, I mean
it's quite a corporate structure that in that industry, and
so I felt like I was so capable of taking
on more work or supporting the seniors. They wouldn't give
(06:01):
it to me because I was a junior. And then
the second part for me was I was looking at
all my seniors and I didn't want anyone's job above me.
No one was inspiring me to push right. I just
didn't feel driven by the roles, the titles, the options
are available to me. So I had this massive kind
of what the heck moment, like what am I going
(06:22):
to do with my life? I've just spent all this
time studying and working and I don't even know if
this is what I want to do. And that was
a very scary feeling. But you know, fast forward five
to ten years from there. It's led me on many
different parts, but it was this really overwhelming feeling of
I feel stuck and I feel lost because I've committed
(06:43):
my identity to being a lawyer and it really just
doesn't feel like it's it for me.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
And then so what did you do after that? Like
what was the initial thing?
Speaker 3 (06:53):
So I did the whole Oh it's the wrong firm,
let me go work somewhere smaller. Oh it's the wrong team,
let me go work for a difference, wish into like
an in house role, you know, I kind of jumped
around thinking it's the wrong kind of environment. But what
I had to do. And I love talking about this
exercise now because I think a lot of people find
themselves in this position. I think the starting problem or
(07:14):
a thing that I've challenged, that I've faced, was I
was defining myself and my identity through my job title.
And I personally think, even if you have your own business,
like you do, right, and there's so many different aspects
of your business, I think we go wrong in trying
to define ourselves in our job because we're so multifaceted.
(07:34):
There's so many things were interested in, Like you could
be a parent, you could love health and fitness, like
there's just so many different verticals. You know, when you
meet someone right like, oh hi, I'm Erica, I'm a lawyer, right,
we instantly define ourselves by what we do, not who
we are. And so I realized that there were many
aspects of my identity or personality that were not being
(07:54):
met in that job. And so now I kind of
talk about this two step approach. This is really useful
for anyone who's in a job. Not necessarily you have
to quit and start something new. It might even push
you to just start exploring some hobbies right ways to
kind of buffer what you're missing in your current role.
So I had to sit with myself and do some reflection,
(08:15):
which I know your community would love because I know
all the things that you talk about. I love an exercise.
It yes, two steps. So number one, you want to
sit and ask yourself, what are the gaps? What am
I missing in this current role. So my job was
very corporate, was transactional. I was working with paper. I
was missing connecting with people. I was in a big team,
but everyone had their siloed roles. We were not collaborating.
(08:38):
I wasn't getting to genuinely connect with people. One thing
you can always reflect on here is think about when
you were growing up, the things you were naturally drawn to,
things you naturally enjoyed. Every time I was at a party,
I was never that person like hitting a DF. I
was always in the back corner, like just having a
full blown chat with someone, like we were talking about
our lives. Yes, I'm like a professional DNMMA now, but
(09:00):
I was back then, you know, and I was like,
I'm not connecting with anybody on a deep level. So
I realized that was the gap in my job. So
from there you kind of have two choices, right, You're like,
can I integrate this into my role. Is there a
way I can move laterally in the business or move
somewhere else and make sure that this becomes a priority
so I'm not missing it, Or is there a hobby
(09:21):
or way I can start to explore this to kind
of buffer out what I'm missing, Because again, I don't
think any single role should be the one source to
tick all of your boxes of all the things you enjoy.
And so that kind of led me onto the podcast
right perfect place to have genuine connection with people and learn.
And also I felt like I wasn't really growing from
like a personal development point of view in my job
because it was very corporate.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Yep, you wanted to be expanded exactly.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
So when you work out what the gap is, the
second part is how can you start bringing that into reality,
whether it's through a job or through a hobby. So
for me, became the podcast through the hobby and then
it slowly grew from there. So I didn't have this
dramatic I'm going to quit my job and follow my
passion in a moment, I just had this realization I'm
missing this key thing. He's a practical way it can
start to explore it and it kind of grew from there.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I love that. And then so the balance, theory, the name,
the idea of the concept. How did you come up
with it?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
The way I actually landed on, let's do a podcast.
My husband and I. It wasn't wasn't my husband then,
but we're driving home on Newsday and we had Gary
v on YouTube, you know, like news Day Janie Iron
will so get up, like we'll think about our goals
for the year. And I had this in the back
of my head right like I want to do something
where I can connect with people. And Gary Ve said
this thing. He said, if you've got the skill of communication,
(10:38):
you need to be sharing that with the world through
a YouTube channel, a podcast, some form of medium. And
my husband paused it and he looked at me and
he said, you should start a podcast. Really, And I
just had this like emotional parting of the cea moment
where I felt so calm, I felt so present, like
I had just seen exactly what I needed to do.
And mind you, I had never thought about hosting a
(11:01):
show before. Like it wasn't even like I had mentioned
it in the past. It was just like he said it,
and it felt so right. It was this very rare
intuitive moment I've had where I was like, I feel
like I need to do this. So then the question came,
what am I going to have a podcast about. At
the time, I was really into personal development, right, so
I was looking for these kind of sources already. I
(11:21):
was into a lot of reading, and I was listening
to other podcasts, and so naturally it fell in that
self development space and the podcast. The balance theory is
all about reframing life balance. So for me and I
know this is a case for you and probably all
of your listeners because they are most likely very aligned
with you. We're all ambitious women, right we want to
(11:43):
do a lot, we want to have big goals. I
felt like there was this compromise where if you wanted
to have that, you had to sacrifice your health, you
have to sacrifice your relationships, you have to put your
head down, and you have to hustle and do nothing
but the hustle if you want to achieve big things
in your life. I'm not saying that's an unsuccessful way
to approach things, because people are very successful, just you know,
(12:04):
putting their head down and grinding. But what I started
to observe was a lot of these successful people who
were ten twenty years older than me, they would always
come out the other end and talk about how wrecked
their health was in the process, how they lost their marriage,
how they had to pick up their life from scratch.
And so I became really interested in the idea of
a sustainable way to approach success, but really framing in
(12:25):
a way where we don't feel like we're compromising on
the way we are navigating that process. It really comes
down to knowing your priorities and making them priorities. So
saying something is important actually making it important, and that
clarity piece, I feel like is the biggest breakup between
spending your time in a way that's going to serve
(12:46):
you and not. Because I also realized, like, if I
can sleep my eight hours a night, if I can
train every day, the time I spend at work is
much more optimal than if I was to sit down
and force myself for sixteen hours and do the hustle,
nothing but the hustle. So I really wanted to change
the conversation around how we approach ambition and success, and
(13:06):
not in a way that this is a trade off.
It's a way that your balance is unique to you
and you need to have clarity on what that is.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I love that, So try and rack your brain. What
is like the best advice that you've had, you know,
contributing to the balance theory on your podcast from someone?
Speaker 3 (13:29):
That's a big question. I've had it for five I
don't just.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Say, I know there would be so many, but is
there one that just comes to mind that has really
resonated with someone who because I've done it, I've done
the all nothing approach, and it's you get to places
very fast, and it's very successful, but it's not sustainable.
And it's also again, you always sacrifice something. So I
(13:54):
love that you're talking about this, and it's a conversation
we need to have more. I literally just had the
thought of, like, oh, what's the best advice you've ever
received about it?
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Maybe what I can share is so over the years,
I've kind of crafted a framework right on how to
actually apply this to your own life, which has been
shaped by many of the conversations that have had you know,
like when I started the podcast, I had this concept,
but I wanted to develop a framework, but I didn't
want the framework to be like, here's the blueprint, copy paste,
(14:24):
you go run with your life, because if we're trying
to mimic somebody else's idea of balance, it doesn't work.
Because what I realized as well was balance is not
just different between you and I, it's different for me
at different moments in my.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Life, different seasons exactly.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
I think maybe it would be useful is if I
share the framework on how people can actually apply this. Yes,
we've got a few steps, so you know, pads out.
The analogy I really love to use is garden beds.
When I sat down, the classic way we talk about
balance is your work life balance, and I hate that
formula approach. It seemed to be the only one that
(15:02):
was available when I was thinking about this concept. Right,
fifty work fifty life. It kind of you have to
find some equilibrium, right, And I just feel like that's
the wrong way to approach balance. And for me using
that as my lens or my frame, it constantly led
me to feeling guilty like I wasn't doing enough. I
felt overwhelmed that I had too much to do. It
just didn't give me any clarity. And so where I've
(15:24):
landed is you've got three areas. Your health, which is
your physical and mental. Your relationships, which are your friendships,
your family, and romantic if you have one. In the
third area, I decided not to call it work. I
decided to call it fulfillment because I think, yes, our
work plays a part of that. That might be you
you're in a career based job, or you've got a business,
(15:45):
But it's also our hobbies. It's also our studies. It's
also the things we learn and to stimulate ourselves, the reading, etc.
So your three areas, your health, your relationships, and your fulfillment.
Each of these are garden beds. When we talk about
garden beds, there is a very bar essential minimum that
garden beds need to survive. They need a bit of
(16:05):
sun and a bit of water. So when we talk
about our priorities and getting clear in our priorities, the
first step in this approach is to ask ourselves what
are those non negotiables. These are like our tier one priorities.
They're the sun in the water for our garden beds.
And it's so tempting at this stage to try and
(16:26):
do like a fifty page list and have like a
fifty step morning routine and try and make it perfect.
That's not the aim here. The aim is to have
it as succinct as possible, like two or three things maximum,
so you can actually make those things like priority in
your day to day. We have to be like realistic
with the time we have too. We don't have no
everyone has like five hours in the morning, right. I mean,
if you do, that's amazing, and you could probably build
(16:47):
out like a really cool morning routine, very jalous, but
most people, you know, I find I'm a very simple person,
Like I like something that's easy to follow. So for me,
for my health, for example, it's eight hours of sleep,
make sure I'm making my own food, and moving every day.
And the reason those are my top three is because
I know that without those I can't energetically show up
(17:09):
the way onto every day. It's not because I've read
somewhere else seen that saunas are amazing or that cold
plunge is the best thing. Like I actually hate cold showers.
Like I tried to do the whole thing, am not
absolutely Like I'll do the whole icepa thing once in
a while, but not the daily cold showers. I just can't.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I do love a sauna though, love a sauna.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Do love a sauna. It's got to match on hair
wash day though. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
True.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
The idea is to really just put two or three
things for every garden bed and build your routine around that.
And if you kind of want to take it a
step back, an exercise I get people to do is
like track their time for a week. Then you look
at your non negotiables because if you're saying that these
things are important but they don't have space in your routine,
then where's that time going? So you can do like
(17:52):
a week. Maybe I'll actually send you a link to
a free worksheet I've got where people can do food
in the show notes. Yeah, people can just do a
time yeah, and then you redo the time audit with
your non negotiables and see how that kind of changes things.
So just as another quick example for your relationships, right,
I love my girlfriends. I mean I don't live in
the same city as them at the moment, but having
(18:14):
like one week night where I'm with the girls and
like having that feminine energy around me and just touching
base that's so important for me. It's really important for
my balance to just give me a different dynamic through
the week. Family dinner nights are really important to me,
So one night with my family, one night with my girlfriends,
and then having me and my husband. We have a
rule we have dinner together every night, no phones. Right,
(18:35):
It's just simple things that ground me and keep those
relationships like present and close in my daily life or
my weekly life. So it doesn't have to be anything complicated.
It's just what's important to you and how do you
make this feature in your life. It's kind of the
first tier and then the second tier we have so
the first ones are no negotiables and then the second
ones are like your wants, so there's still priorities. But
(18:57):
if we use the garden analogy, these are more akin
to like if you're added fertilizer to your garden beds,
they're only going to add value, but the garden's still
going to be fine without it. So these would be
things like you want to go on a second date
night with your husband, or you'd love to add in
two saunas a week, or you love doing a sunset
walk and that's in addition to your daily movement. So
it's all these things and I love building this out
(19:18):
because it's like a menu option of things that you're like,
I'm bought, I've got nothing to do, or I want
to do something on Thursday, rather than just saying because
that was me used to say yes to like whatever
popped up in the calendar. So this kind of gave
me again, like a bit of a frame of what's
going to add value to my balance and bolster these
garden areas. The other thing I'll just add, which because
(19:39):
you brought it up before, the idea of seasonality. That's
why I love using the garden analogy because you have
different seasons of fruit and vege. Right, there's winter, this summer.
The way this applies in this analogy is sometimes work
is hectic. You've got to end a financial your sale,
something happens in health. You have to go all in
on your health. And what we categorically do is we
(20:00):
go all in on the area and neglect everything else.
And if you think about the garden analogy, your garden
would will to die and that wouldn't be sustainable. Right,
So the idea here is to allow for those seasons
to come up and let yourself go all in if
you need to. But that looks like still maintaining the
other gardens with those basics, the non negotiables. So I
(20:21):
love that that's the framework that's been developed over time
with all the conversations I've had and kind of like
the more and more thought about it, And I love
it because it's not like this is how you do balance.
It's just like this is a framework and you make
it make sense for yourself.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, I even love something I'll often do and this
is it really came from Cooper spoke to me about
it years ago, and it's like realizing kind of similar.
But it's like you have buckets, so yeah, it might
be like family, your partner, job, and then it's like
really good every month to do an audit and be
(20:56):
like what buckets are really fall and what are quite
empty and where do you kind of need to like
pour more in.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Or focus more.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
And I find it helpful because again, like you said,
you're not going to be one hundred percent in every
area all the time. It's just like it's not feasible.
And it's also again, I don't want to be like
the same in life. I want to have different, yeah experiences,
So like, for example, I just went through a really hectic,
(21:28):
like busy month with work where I had to you know,
fly to a different state and I was doing a
talk and then I had a photo shoots, you know,
all these things happening. So like the work bucket was
like really full, and like the self care and the
family time was like probably it was leaking kind of thing,
and not being like too hard on myself, but being
(21:51):
like okay, well, next month, let's switch that, let's overfill
the other buckets and being okay with that, because I
think sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves. We
can be like, oh my god, I haven't spent any
time with my partner, so I'm a horrible partner, or
you know those sorts of things. So also understanding that
it's okay to go hard in some areas of your life,
(22:13):
but also know that it's not sustainable and you've got
to switch it up and you've got to pour into
other areas. And also it's not sustainable that they're all
going to be equal all the time.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Yeah, like we're not perfect.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
It's just it's not how life's going to do it.
So being okay with that, I think, even like something
I've been thinking a lot lately, is like the duality
of life, like being okay with things being a bit
chaotic and those sorts of things really strengthening your emotional
intelligence and like working on your nervous system during those things,
(22:47):
because like in the end, we're always going to run
into chaos, We're always going to run into busy seasons,
We're always going to have hardships, And it's more like
how do you be throughout that.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
Yeah, it's funny you bring that up, like the duality
of life, because I feel like it's not something we
acknowledge enough that you could feel too such contrasting emotions
at the same time. Like I live overseas, so whenever
I come home to Australia, I have this big emotional
separate experience where I'm like so grateful to be back
(23:20):
and I'm so happy to see everyone, but then at
the same time, it's like in my face that this
is what I'm missing all the time. And then it's
also like on the flip of that, i always miss home,
but then when I'm here it feels like I'm not
ready to move back. And so when you're going through it,
it feels like such an abnormal experience, but you're right,
like just allowing yourself.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Allowing it be not making yourself wrong about it.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Yeah. Yeah, And back to what you were saying, like,
I mean even with this where you're like, it's so simple,
a couple of things for each area of your life,
life still happens, right, So it's more like this is
your framework. And I guarantee you if you genuinely find
the couple things that fill you up, would make you
happy when you're feeling off, you'll be able to quickly say, oh,
(24:03):
it's because I haven't spent time with my daughter. Well,
for me, it's like when I skip my meditation, I'll
just forget to do it, you know, like there's always
something that I know is so important from my sense
of groundedness, and it's just a case of Okay, now
I know what I need to do, not I'm going
to feel so guilty that I haven't been doing it.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Yeah, And it's just knowing when you need to like
switch and change.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
I love that shift gears. You know, you stepped away
from the traditional corporate and then you have gone into
so you're currently an in house lawyer. How would you
describe it again?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
You're liked a fractional in house lawyer. Yeah, I'm like
running my own business.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
You run your own business in house lawyer. What I
love about you two, Erica is the fact that you
know you have obviously your podcast, the balance, the really
you're doing that, You've got your ECMM business, You've got
your own business of the in house lawyer. You haven't
kind of made yourself pick one, do you know what
I mean? Like you're okay with like I can be
(25:06):
all these things, and I can, because I think sometimes
there's this perception that to be successful, it's something you
have to go all in and you have to be
like ride or die, And I just don't believe in
that because I'm also a very multi passionate person. Like,
how do you kind of feel about that? And how
(25:26):
was like the identity framework around that.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
It's a really good question. It's honestly something I've struggled
with in the past because I felt like I want
to work on my personal brand, but like, how do
I position myself because I'm not like talking to one
type of person, I could maybe be speaking to multiple
Like I have so many different aspects of who I am,
And when I felt like I was stuck in that
corporate job, and I had that one identity, Like I
(25:51):
just felt so suffocated, and so for me, it kind
of came forcefully out of me trying to be the
one thing. And then I've also had this other side
where I'm like, if I'm not doing one thing one
hundred percent, am I just doing everything else at thirty
three percent each? Like? Am I missing out here on
actually building something? But as time has gone on, I've
(26:11):
just seen that there's been seasons for things like the
podcast had a big season last year, Like we had
a massive growth phase last year. There was a lot
of change. I brought in a lot of new things,
and just the way I was doing things was different.
This year, kind of the legal consulting has taken more
front seat because I've got baby on the way, and
that shift, which I'm sure we'll talk about, has kind
(26:32):
of been a part of me wanting a bit more
of a flexible lifestyle. So it's definitely something I've struggled with,
and I think we don't speak about enough how to
be okay with just kind of letting yourself explore different aspects.
But I think still within that, you still have seasons
where something is the most important at that moment of time,
(26:54):
and that doesn't have to be like for three years,
I'm just doing this. It could just be look this
week or this month, this is taking priority. I'm focusing
on this, like this week, I'm here in Queensland, I'm
doing the podcast, I'm not doing any other work. So
I think it's just being flexible and not trying to
have to be one thing all the time. Like you're
never going to be one thing all the time. Sometimes
you need to be looked after as well. You know,
(27:15):
you need to let yourself be different roles and you
have needs as well as a person. So it's good
life practice as well.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I love that there is this weird sort of thing
of if you are really serious about something, you go
all in. I just, yeah, I don't agree. I don't
agree that. I like you said, I love having seasons
for things. I love going in and out of, you know,
certain businesses. I feel like it's very feminine.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Yeah, it's like more creative flowy.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, I get that, and I feel a lot more
filled up when I'm doing that too.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
But it's interesting because the way we study and the
way like for people listening, you have more of a
corporate job, it's very masculine, like so masculine, and I
had this she was like a female dietitian. I think
she was or more in the nutritionist space, and we
were talking about the difference between female and male cycles,
and the way the corporate world is structured is on
(28:12):
a male cycle, the testoseron levels reset every twenty four hours,
whereas us females, it's like on average twenty eight days.
But we're expected to go in and be the same
and perform the same every day, and we put that
expectation on ourselves. So when I shifted into this more
flexible kind of routine and I've got a few different things,
it's actually really nice to be like, actually, today I'm
(28:35):
not feeling as energetic. I'm not going to go and
record like ten podcasts because it's not going to come
out as authentically. I'm going to do more of the
admin or editing or whatever like. So you kind of
have options that way, but I was stuck in that, like,
I haven't given one hundred percent today like I did
every other day. Yeah, but I saw this really good
like visual on Instagram and it was like one hundred
(28:56):
percent every day and it was like one day was
five percent, the next day was thirty. If you've only
got five percent to give that day and you give
five percent, you've given one hundred percent. Yeah, that's a
really nice refrain.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Well, I think it's even like, what have you found
with stepping more into your feminine? Because, yeah, like corporate life,
I was in it, you experienced it. It's very masculine,
it's very structured, it's very this is the way to
do things. How has it felt kind of stepping into
your feminine? And then also, you guys, if you're just listening,
(29:30):
you can't see for Erica is twenty six weeks pregnant almost, Yeah,
twenty six weeks pregnant, So you are about to come
a first time mum, so exciting with a baby girl.
How does that kind of feel with what you're doing
with work and the podcast and all those sorts of things.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
So kind of the reality I'm living right now is
a very intentional move. So twelve months ago I made
the decision to quit my corporate job and basically do
that same work, but on a consulting basis. So I
get to pick the clients I work with, I get
to choose the hours I work, and this all sounds
very glamorous, and it took a lot of time to build, right,
(30:09):
And it wasn't like this I'm just going to go
and do this heroic kind of moment. It was filled
with so much fear and like, have I made the
right choice stepping away from like a stable income when
I have a baby on the way, Like all of
that went through my head, But I know that the
kind of life it would give me, with the effort
I would put behind it would be one that gave
me flexibility so that I could still make money doing
(30:32):
something I really enjoy and be involved in business and
do legal work. I always say I really always enjoyed
the work, like genuinely, especially when I moved out of
banking finance and moved more into like a corporate commercial role.
It's more like you're getting to do the legals for
a business that's doing cool things. That's how I see it.
I got to be involved in businesses, but when I
(30:52):
was doing it for someone else, it was very corporate
and it was very transactional, Whereas I'm like, I don't know,
like wearing suits, like I'd love to meet you over
a coffee in a cafe like I'm relationship based, like
I love connecting with people again. So the shift for
me has been incredible. And it took a lot of
months of hard work to kind of build up my
books and tell people what I do and actually work
(31:13):
out what do I like to do, how do I
like to run things? But it just feels like it's
all fallen into place. And as I said, it was
very intentional because I had to get very clear on
I know, I want to have kids, so what kind
of a mum don't want to be? So what kind
of a life do I want to have? Do I
still want to have things for myself, you know? And
everyone's answers to these are going to be so different.
But I have the podcast and I didn't want to
(31:34):
stop that. I did genuinely enjoy what I was doing
for work, and it's my source of main income at
the moment. And so finding a way to make time
for all this in an environment that I didn't have
to physically go into an office every day so I
can be present with my child and I can work
flexible hours, that was really important to me. So being
(31:54):
in this position now where I have that flexibility, it's
just surreal feeling, you know, when you like, I don't
want to yeah, I'll use the word manifest something, but
you also get clear on something and you just build
a path and you're putting the steps to get there.
I feel really at peace knowing that I've created what
I think will be the right environment for the life
hum foreseeing and she arrives.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
I love that so much. What's interesting is what you
said there of you know, leaving your corporate job, you
did experience the fear and the doubt. But now that you're,
you know, twelve months down the track, it sounds like
you're like, of course I did it, because like I'm living,
you know, my dream life. I'm living the outcome that
(32:36):
I want it. For someone who's maybe you know, they
haven't left the job, or they haven't left the relationship,
or they haven't you know, they haven't done that jump.
And like you said, it doesn't have to be this
huge jump, but it's still it's still risky, it still
can dysregulate us. For that person who does want to
make a big change, they do want to take the
(32:58):
risk and they do want to take the jumpt but
they've got all those inner critic beautiful feelings. Yeah, incredible
duality feelings. What would you say to that? What would
be your advice?
Speaker 3 (33:11):
I would say to you, what your feeling is so normal?
Every time you push yourself out of your comfort zone,
whether it's a drastic step or it's something really small,
you're going to feel that. And what we do a
lot of the time is we internalize that as this
phrase imposter syndrome. Right, But if you just think from
like a primal point of view, our brains are designed
(33:33):
to keep us safe. Emotions are designed to tell us
how we feel about certain things. So when we are
out of our comfort zone, by definition, you're doing something
that's uncomfortable because it's not familiar to you. You're going
to feel uncomfortable because it's not part of your current
routine and lifestyle. And so what I had to do
is the best advice I would give to someone. You
(33:54):
have to change the narrative on what you make that
mean about yourself. It doesn't mean you're making the wrong decision,
It doesn't mean you're not capable or worthy. It just
means you're pushing yourself. Of course, you're going to feel
those feelings, like I'm sure without a doubt every time
you do something out of your comfort zone, speaking on
a bigger stage or having a new milestone in your business,
(34:15):
or trying something new like that, I'm sure will come
up for you. And I think reminding yourself that every
single person you look up to, like even still today,
like I've had the podcast for five years, there are
still moments where I have that feeling. And I think,
as long as you are growing and striving as a
person and you're making decisions that are pulling you forward,
you're going to feel that. But you need to change
(34:38):
the story on what you tell yourself it means about you,
because it's not going to go away. I just that's
kind of how I've started to think about it, because
I just find myself over and over again every time
I push myself, I move overseas, I step out and
do my own business. I move from Zoom podcast in
person podcast, I travel into state to do interviews, Like
(34:58):
every single time, I feel the same feeling, And it's
just that primal feeling of you're out of your comfort
zone and I'm like, cool, I'm pushing myself. I'm doing
something you mind you, It doesn't help. The feeling doesn't
get any more glamorous.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
No, it's the same feeling.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
You're just changing the story and you're rewirrying yourself on
what you're telling yourself.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
It means that's so powerful.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
It's really important because the way you think and feel
about yourself, you know, it reflects in exactly everything you
have around you. Ah, that's so powerful. I love that.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
I would love to know kind of your perspective if
you feel like motherhood will shift your approach to work,
and if you first see that evolution looking a certain way,
if you're kind of putting anything in place, like obviously,
I no, You've put a lot in place, But I'd
(35:50):
love to know your opinion on that, because you know,
I'm sure you have those thoughts and you have ideas,
and you've interviewed some incredible mothers. So what's that sort
of figure.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
I think there's a practical side to this, which is
like what steps have I implemented? And then there's like
more the emotional mental side. So on the practical side,
what this looks like for me is I've pre recorded
the podcast. Well I'm up till joing July now, but
I'd like to get to October November because I just
don't want that stress of you know. And I'm like,
(36:21):
I have missed an episode in five years outside of
season breaks, and I'm very committed to not you know,
to keeping up. Even though people like totally understand if
I like need to take time off, I'm just like,
I want to keep that going. So getting ahead with
that has been important. And then having this shift with
work where I have more project based clients rather than
(36:41):
I'm working thirty eight hours a week means I can
wrap things up before and pick them up kind of
when I'm ready to go. That's the practical stuff. They're
necessary on the mental emotional side, and I'm kind of
approaching labor in the same way. It's not something I've
been through, and I think I can have this shiny
plan of how I think is going to go and
all the ways I think it's gonna be, and even
(37:03):
the way I see motherhood. But I am approaching this
like I do with most things in life, or at
least going to try to. And I think the best
skill you can have is that of flexibility. I think
it's important to have a plan. I mean that that
makes me feel comfortable. For some people, They're like, no,
I'm just going to go with the flow, like for
me personally, being a little bit more researched and having
a baseline understanding of Okay, what are my hospital preferences
(37:26):
or when I go home go on visitors, like starting
to think about those things. That's important for me.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
I'm the exact same. But if it doesn't go to
a planet, it's like I just would like to feel
somewhat in control before exactly.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Right, but that needs to really be balanced with just
when the time comes, like just being with myself and
knowing what I need in the moment. So I know
that hasn't really directly answered your question. I think that
becoming a mum will only amplify my life experience. I'm
very excited to go through it. I don't want to
(37:56):
put too much pressure on like cool, when I get
the hang of being a I'm just going to go
back to what I'm doing now because I just physically, no,
I'm not going to be the same, Like things are
just going to look different. And what if, like I
don't actually even want to go back to work, Like
what if I just want to raise my kids and
keep having more and that's it, Like I just want
to be okay with wherever I'm at, meet myself with
(38:17):
wherever I'm at. So I don't really have too many
ideas or hopes for like after, I'm just aligning things
so that I can take time off to be really
present and then pick things up when I want. I
guess I'm trying to be really flexible with it because
I'm and I honestly think my baby's so chill because
I'm not normally like this. This is so my husband's
(38:38):
grow a great sign.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
So when's the judate July July eighteenth, so that is can.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
Loving sweet vibes.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
My parents are both cancers.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Yeah, very sad.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Both my sisters are too, very loving, very sensitive.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Because I'm a Leo, so you're Leo too. Yeah, so
I'm normally like planned, structu rigid. But I'm like, look,
how chiller just sounded. I know I sounded chill. Someone's
probably listening, like, girl, you're not chill.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
My duja is on the cusp of Leo and Virgo.
But also it's probably a Virgo because I feel so
I don't feel like a Leo right now, and I'm
a Leo. I feel so different. I feel so relaxed.
I feel so chilled. So I definitely believe in that,
like you very much take on the energy of the child.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
Well remember you sharing it and I was like, that's
what made me think about it now. I was like yeah,
because I was like, I've never heard anyone articulated, and
I was like, that actually makes sense to me because genuinely,
this feels like the biggest life event I've ever gone
through and I feel really like chill about it.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Yeah, yeah, well that's even like with Ivy's pregnancy. With
my first child, I was like hectic. I took on
so many work projects. I committed to work projects after
and again I think that was a bit of naivety
there with me, just like yeah, and I had so
much energy and I was I did my first co
(40:01):
lab with Pedal and Pop and I was like huge energy.
But I felt like I had so much energy, so
much charisma, so much like outgoingness. And it's so funny
because then I birthed. Ivy didn't feel like that at all,
had to finish all these projects and that's her personality
to a tea. Wow, was this pregnancy so chill? Any
(40:25):
work projects coming up? I'm like absolutely not, like not
committing to anything. Very so sensitive. I wouldn't say I'm
a sensitive person. And even like I remember the first
trimester like with my husband, I know, hormones, but like
so sensitive and he was even like are you okay?
Like this is not normal, and I'm like, God, child's
(40:45):
really sestive.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
We're gonna have to circle back in like twelve to
twenty four months and be like, did we get chillers?
Speaker 2 (40:52):
I know, Well, it's gonna be funny if I get
another Leocs and I'd be like, joke's on you.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
Well, they say Leo boys are different to Leo girl,
so you get a Leo. It is a boy that
could explain it as well.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Cooper's a Leo boy. Yeah, and he's so different to me,
like talk and cheese, but a lot of like same
undercurrents with like drive and ambition, but so chill anyway
timeshell till Yeah, Well.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
We'll keep you updated.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
No. I love that. That's incredible because you really you
can't plan, but it is good to have some sort
of like you know, basis. And I think something that
I would love for you to chat on is I
feel like a lot of people struggle with that identity
shifting piece. So, like you said, you know, you were
doing corporate and then you did the in house lawyer.
(41:38):
You know, you started the podcast, and you have to
really shift and change your identity. I feel like, from
what I'm seeing on the outside, you do that quite well,
and it looks like you are able to kind of shift,
and I kind of I love calling it like shape shifting,
and I think it's really important as a woman to
be a shape shifter. But again, I feel like people
(42:00):
struggle with the identity piece because they go all in
of like, well, I'm the corporate lawyer and this is
you know what my life's built on. What would you
sort of say to that person, because I can even
see the way that you're articulating is you're going to
be so okay if you want to shift into being
a stay at homer or you know that sort of thing.
You're not sort of anchored on the identity, which I
(42:22):
think is a superpower.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Thank you. Well, It's taken time, and I certainly didn't
start here, But I think the first place is to
accept that you're not supposed to be one thing. You're
really not supposed to be one thing. And I think
when you really peel under that, right. And I actually
remember you saying this on my podcast that one of
the things you had to unlearn or part with when
you decided to step away from being a lawyer was
(42:46):
kind of like the stature or the reputation of what
it meant to be a lawyer, the way people would
be like, oh my god, like you're a lawyer. Like,
I get it all the time. And so I think
a piece of this is not just you being okay
with not being one thing, but it's also so what
do you think that makes other people think about you? Right,
if you're a mum, but also doing these do you
think that people think that you're less of a mum?
(43:08):
And I think it's really interesting to reflect on this
because most of the time those are internal thoughts you
have about yourself. It's actually not what other people think
at all. Right, people looking like, that's so amazing, she's
a mum. She's also got a cooking page, or she's
also like really into her gym or whatever. Right, But
these judgments that we fear often the inside out. So
(43:30):
being okay with not being one thing, paying attention to
any judgments that you're fearing, and just really sitting with
yourself and asking yourself, is that a judgment that I have? Right?
If I saw someone else doing that, would I have
those thoughts? Because I think then that gives you a
place to work out. Start journaling on it, start meditating
on it, start working with your therapist, you know, whatever
(43:51):
your outlet is, Start thinking about why that's a judgment
you hold. Is it from a young age? Maybe that's
what your parents said, and you've just like it's the
same thing you talk about with money, right, no different,
So work out why you don't think it's okay to
have a multifaceted identity, because once you accept that, like genuinely,
(44:12):
it's very easy to give your self permission to experience
different things. And I just see life now as this
just abundant place to have so many experiences. Like you're
really cutting yourself off if you box yourself into one thing,
even if it's something you love, right and you're obsessed with,
doesn't mean you have to have five different, like main
(44:32):
events in your life, right, Like you could still let
yourself explore things and try things in a much more
passive way. Like it doesn't have Like I said, you
don't have to start a hobby that turns into a
sign hustle. You could just do little things for yourself,
like I'm going to try this gym class today. You know,
you guys have to listening, you have to make it
make sense for you. But I would say, I would
(44:55):
say that give yourself permission. But there's a bit of
work that sits under that.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
I love that so much, And I feel like you
hit the nail on the head of any judgments that
you think other people are going to give you, or
like the fear around what you think is going to
happen has literally nothing to do with anyone else, and
it's all your fear and it's all your judgments. And
what's great about that is you can always dissolve them
(45:20):
alchemize it. So it's really just showing you, Yeah, like
you said, what you need to work on, and you
can always shift and change that, so it's like it's
not actually a problem.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
Yeah, it's just identifying like your next project. Yeah, you know,
And if you can have those kinds of thoughts means
you can have different kinds of.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
Thoughts, but it does take work, yeah, and it's like
but it's also being like so like, thank god, I
realize that, Yes, thank god, I recognize that. I get
to work on that. I get to you know, shift
and dissolve it, because otherwise it would just be sitting
unconsciously unaware of it, running the.
Speaker 3 (45:54):
Show exactly solo.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Yeah, you want to kind of bring it forth.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
Yeah, And that's really goes the same for you know,
you mentioned before someone that hasn't made the jump to
leave a relationship or a job like these things. Even
though we've identified okay, maybe this isn't serving me, I've
also shifted my perspective on those things and said, actually,
all those experiences are necessary because when you end up
having a job you love or relationship you know is
(46:20):
the one, or anything like that, you know that because
you have a point of reference of other things, you
know what you don't like. So those things also serve
a purpose, even though they may not end in the
best way, and you know they may cause you grief
at the time, it's necessary to push you, you know,
give you a nudge and like, no, no, this is
the wrong direction. You got to go this way.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
I love that so much. That's such a good like
mindset shift, Erica. It has been such a pleasure to
have you on the Rise and Conquered podcast. Thank you
so much. Where can everyone go and listen to your podcast?
Hear about you, follow you all the things.
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Thank you so much for having me on it. You know,
like you said, we clicked when you came on the show,
so it's is a real honor to now be a
guest on yours. Oh thanks, And you know Rise and
Conquers the podcast. I've also been listening to you for
many years. I love what you've done and watching your evolution.
Now sitting here talking to you special, so I appreciate you.
The podcast is basically the Balance Theory podcast on all platforms, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram.
(47:20):
My personal is Erica with a k DP E l E.
I'm sure you link it. That's basically where I live online.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
So amazing guys, go say hi and listen to the
Balance Theory. You've had some incredible guests and you do
amazing podcasts, so I know my audience would just rough that.
Speaker 3 (47:36):
I appreciate you. Thank you.
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