March 13, 2025 • 24 mins
Welcome to the very first episode of our brand-new series, The In Between! In this episode, we’re diving into one of the biggest questions—how do you make friends as an adult? And not just any friends, but truly aligned friendships. We’ll also unpack how to navigate friendship breakups and let go of connections that no longer serve you.
More about the series...
Join Georgina & Jayme for The In Between as they explore the space between where you are now and where you want to be. Each bonus episode delves into relatable, real-life topics—making new friends, finding (or reinventing) yourself, navigating grief and loss, building resilience, discovering your dream career, and so much more.
Discover the Rise App HERE
Join the Rise & Conquer Facebook group here.
Follow the Rise & Conquer Instagram here.
Discover Rise & Conquer courses here.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
If you couldn't tell by the title and title, it
is Georgina and Jamie.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Should we just give it a.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Little intro on who we are first before we jump
into the episode.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I'm Jamie. I'm the brand manager at rn C. Georgina, Hi,
I am the social media coordinator at R and C.
But also I'm just like a key player in the team.
I'm also just that the most valuable for MVP. MVP.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
We are here because we have a really exciting new
segment for you, which is called The in Between, Navigating
the in Between, So we are going to be talking
about all things grief, relationships, friendships, reinventing yourself. Basically, we
are both in our twenties, we have both moved into
state to the Gold Coast. We've both navigated very similar
(00:53):
life challenges such as grief, change of friendships, moving all
the things.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Ending our current, finding our purpose.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
So we really just wanted to bring a segment where
we can talk about a lot of topics that are
openly asked within our community.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
We see a lot of this in our community. One
of the biggest questions we get is how do you
guys make friends? How did you find your job? And
you guys said that you wanted to hear more from us,
So here we are. We've delivered it wishes our commands.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Really, so today we are going to be talking all
about how to make friends as an adult, probably one
of the most asked questions that we have, and also
not only just making friends, but aligned friends. We obviously,
as I just said, moved into state, so we are
well versed in this topic.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Well versed. I feel like this was our first EP
for a reason. We can both talk about this underwater
because we've been through it and we moved here and
had nobody before we get into it and spoil it all.
But we are going to give you a few tips
and helpful things on how you can make and find
a line friendships no matter where you are.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yes, and then we're also just going to end the
episode with a little bit about how to distance yourself
from toxic or unaligned friends and how to navigate that,
because I think as you move through different life challenges
and stages, sometimes that naturally does mean that some of
your friends don't align where the friends are making you
feel drained, et cetera. So we're just also going to
(02:24):
give you some tips and tricks on how to navigate
that as well.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Let us get into it first of all, why he
is making friends as an adult so hard. I feel
like when you're a kid, you make so many friends.
You go up to someone on the playground and tell
them that you're like, they're scrunchy and you're besties. That
just doesn't really happen anymore being in your twenties. A
(02:50):
lot of the friendships you had from when you were
a child and when you're in school, they were all
based on you went to the same school, you were
in the same sports club, Like these friends were right
in front of you, and you kind of had no
choice but to be friends with these people. Whereas when
you get older, it's you know, you're selecting people based
on interests and feelings and conversations you like to have.
(03:13):
So it can be really hard to find people in
your space that are on the same wavelength as you.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
And I think it's also people are a lot less
inclined to just put themselves out there. You have a
lot more fear around it. You've got to lean into discomfort,
And I think it's also you've got to be really
clear on who you are first before you can find
friends that align with that. So making sure that you're
not just trying to find people that feel right, but
really being clear on what.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
That looks like for you. It's fully like dating. Finding
new friends is like dating because you can get the
ick from some people, you can leave them feeling different
ways when you hang out, Like there's so many different
parts that go into it, and you're pretty much dating.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I know, remember the first friendship date we had and
we like drove down to Fingle and sat in the current,
so like our connection cards, but it was on paper
still at the time because we were still testing the
yes the topics and we just sat.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
There and got to know each other.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
That's another really good tip is try and evoke the
conversations that you want to be having with the people.
If you're wanting deep conversations with people, don't just plan
to surface level conversations because you won't get to know.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
If this person is a lined for you or not.
But also you sometimes you can't go straight in with
the hard hitting questions, like you can't be on the
first time you've met them, be like, so tell me
about you childhood trauma. Like sometimes you go to like.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Well, I'm like someone who goes real deep, even like
in a setting where it's probably you know, like we're
out for dinner or something.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
And he's like, just run the backs and I'm like,
but I want to know, but I'm all for deep conversations.
Like I feel like you and I straight away obviously
we work together and we just ride audience. Yeah, yeah,
we hit it off and we could sense that we
both loved deep conversations and had a bit of that
like you know, depth there that we wanted to explore.
You know, it's making the other person feel safe to
(05:06):
be able to open up and have those conversations, you
being equally vulnerable and being able to share stuff. You've
got to just kind of sense the energy they're open
to it, and then create the environment for that to happen.
A coffee walk is a great way to do that.
Jim and coffee walk, Gim and coffee wak.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I mean, if you don't like gym and you don't
like coffee and you don't like walking, probably not, but
we do.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So how we do so that to our day.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
So should we get into our top tips on how
to actually make friends as an adult?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Give the people what they want?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yes, My first tip is be open to it, but
also put yourself in situations where you are going to
make connections with people. Don't just wait for someone to
come up to you and spark a conversation. If you
want to make friends with people, you're going to have
to lean into the discomfort. You're going to have to
spark conversations, See how the interests aligned, see how you vibe.
(05:57):
Because I think a lot of people like, oh, I
can't meet anyone, but then when they're at gym, they're
not talking to anyone, or when they go out, they're
not talking to anyone new. And if you're doing that,
you're probably not going to meet anyone new. So really
putting yourself in situations where you will make those connections
and you will find friends and figure out who aligns
with you and who doesn't, rather than just waiting for
(06:18):
people to come up to you and start a conversation.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Because you're gonna have slim picks if you do that,
slympic and slimlymp like it's but also being comfortable that
it's going to be uncomfortable because it's like dating, it's
going to be awkward, like it's going to be it's
going to push out of your comfort zone. You might
feel a little bit like scared or nervous, but when
you do something like that, when you're a bit uncomfortable
(06:42):
and on the other side, it's really rewarding. You always
feel so good, Like even at a few social events
we've been to, or even our Rise or Rise and
Conquer community events, like when someone comes up to you
and they're like hi, and then you just start chatting
and you're like instantly besties and you feel so confident
and like good around each other. Yeah, go home on
a little high. Yeah, it's such a nice feeling. So yeah, yeah,
(07:03):
I agree. I definitely think you need to kind of
set an intention to be uncomfortable and get ready to
put yourself out.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
There, and also like be open to where you might
meet those people. Like shout out Kayla, our beautiful eyebrow lady.
We met her through getting our eyebrows done and we
just hit it off and we were so open to
making friends and we formed such a beautiful connection which
has now grown into such a good friendship. So like,
don't be shut off to where you might meet those
friends or meet those people as well, and don't put
(07:33):
any expectations on it because the best friendships come from
the natural occurrences.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Yes, which kind of leads into what I was going
to say about being yourself from the beginning, because I know,
you know, like when Jamie and I both moved to
the Gold Coast having not really any friends here and
no one here, and know you hear about like the
run clubs and like all these different things, which it
can be so good to put yourself in those environments,
(08:00):
yourself out there. But if that's not aligned with you,
if you actually don't like running and you've got bad knees,
don't go to a run club to make best because
they're all going to want to run all the time
and it's not you. So be yourself from the beginning,
so you don't have to keep holding up a facade
or do things that you don't like do activities. Go
to environments that align with you and who you are,
(08:21):
and that's where you'll be best friends.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Or even if you're like only going out to meet
people at bars and you don't like staying up late
or drinking, probably don't go there. So making sure where
you're going is aligned to the people that you want
to find.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Hey, what is some good places that you'd go to
make friends.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Well, for me personally, because I love gym and pilates
and those sorts of things, I think they're great places
to make friends.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
And also I know there's a lot of.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I haven't personally doubled in this, but there's a lot
of wholesome events like especially on the Gold Coast that
are being run these days, or for example, the end
of last year, I went to one of Grace's events
and it was all business owners, So then you meet
a lie of people aligned to your interest within those events.
So also investing in things like that where it's people
(09:07):
who are on a similar journey as I think that's
a big thing, is people who are aligned to the
journey that you're on and where you are going and
where you want to go, and finding inspiration within those
people as well who are going to lift you up
and kind of help you along in that way. Because
it's also you want to have friends around you who
will match your vibe and your energy and also support
(09:29):
you in the journey that you want to take in life,
because it can be really hard if you're around people
who have very different interests or they're not really going
in the same direction as you and then you're just
feeling underligned.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yeah, which will probably get into more later when we
speak about how to remove yourself from toxic friendships. Them
out of here, get them out of get them out
of here. That's a great point. Thank you. Totally not
what I was just going to say, because I got
going out on the doctic friendship. Yeah. I think there's
lots of networking events, lots of things that you could
go to and try again. Obviously it's uncomfortable, but it
(10:03):
would be so worth it, and lots of people go
to those things alone. Like you'd be surprised, you know,
like dating, you could be like, oh, is there anyone
even out there that is my match or is compatible
with me? There definitely is. There's lots of people in
the same boat. We know because we get the community
messages of all the girlies and people when you come
to our events. Yeah. Yeah, Like I really just wanted
(10:25):
to meet some friends and they're definitely out there. The
hope is not gold. There's plenty of friends fiction to see.
You know. What else I have heard is really good.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Never tried it for myself, so don't take my word
for it, but Bumble has a friendship section where you
can go and match with people exactly like dating that
want to be friends. I've heard of people around the
Gold Coast who had just moved here fresh and were
struggling to make friends and then they've got a group
of best friends they met on bumble.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Now, well it makes sense. And even I've had like
a couple of girlies from our community message to me,
but hey, maybe to the Gold Coast like would love
to go for a coffee walk or whatever, which I'd
be so down for. I feel like a lot of
people would be. That's why our community. I don't have
a whole lot of time, so maybe not, but I
feel like that's why our community is so great. We
(11:08):
have a lot of people in there, so if you know,
a great space would be our communities, our Facebook group
or even rise Society.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
We are actually looking at doing more event meetups throughout
the year in different locations so that people can meet
aligned friends because our community is just wanting to meet
people who are into self growth and personal development and
manifestation and be able to have conversations with people that
they're actually interested in having. So we are looking at
(11:36):
doing more meetups this year. Yeah, let us know what
cities you'd like us to come to.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Let us know. Preferably do some cities outside of the
Gold Coast so Jamie and I can get a free
dress perfectly. Do some cities in Europe, so I think Italy.
We'd love to hang.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Out specifically in first class anyhow air hostess. So yeah,
they would be my place, as we went off with
a tangent there, But gyms and kind of events where
you're going to meet people, where would be your places?
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I would probably go to like a sweet little bath house, silent,
like a social bath house, or even like this beautiful
cafe that I go to in crumb And Valley that
has a nice view and a lot of people go
there by themselves and like read and like get a
cup of cacao or something like that would be really
cute across the yeah, and be like what are you
(12:26):
working on? And I wouldn't do that. But have you
ever starked a conversation? Then yeah, I'm I feel like
I'm pretty. I've heard you're quite the quite the social butterfly,
the socially style. I like to make friends wherever I go,
but then don't have time to see them. Sorry, I'll
make friends with you. Please don't want to hang out
with me. No, I can't even reply to know. But
(12:49):
I have time for everybody. But I feel like it
was a really great experience for me moving here and
not really having anybody because it proved to me. And
I know this sounds really silly, but I'm an interesting
of enough person that I can make a lot of
friends And it's actually not that hard, Like once you
get over all the limiting beliefs and you know, being
(13:10):
scared and fearful of rejection or whatnot, when you do it,
you feel so good and you're like, wow, I can
make friends.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Ooh, I'm actually pretty cool people like me. Yeah, don't
you think when you moved you kind of discovered who
you actually were because there was no preconceived ideas of
who you were. You got to fully just step into
who you were and discover that so then you could
make those connections super aligned to who you were.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yeah, finding friendships in inspiring places like with work, because
you are, you know, the average of the five people
that you hang around most great decision getting some inspiring
expensive friends because I feel like it's really expensive friends.
I have some great idea getting some rich friends. That's
(13:55):
a great idea too, though, expansive friends, because I feel
like it's not only benefited me in terms of like friendships,
but also my mindset, my life, you know, like how
I feel. So I think that's a hot tip. Get
a job in a really fun office. Yeah. No, I
think we're really lucky to with who we work with.
We are very you would be. We're blessed. We're just
(14:17):
such great people.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
A big team of us, you know, everyone that we
work with. We have such aligned people. We surround our
community like we have.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
I feel like, even though we're not like physically in
person hanging out all the time, it's the energy you're
surrounded with, theirs, their best, the communities you hang out with.
It's even like the content you consume in certain communities,
Like it's all of that and the support and the
women or men you have around you makes the difference,
makes such a big difference.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yeah, they're are top hot tips to making friends with
an adult. Now let's get into how to sever I'm
not gonna say sever that's a bit.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
People.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
How to deal with people who are unaligned or toxic
friendships in the way that it feels draining, you don't
feel like you can be yourself. There's a lot of drama,
those sorts of things. I think this is also such
an important part of then stepping into making friends with
aligned people, because if you're stuck in unaligned friendships, you
(15:27):
don't really have space to make aligned friends. So how
you can kind of navigate that, what that looks like,
what kind of unaligned and toxic friendships feel like as well?
So I think the first thing is if some real
telltale signs if you are kind of in an unaligned
or toxic friendship is leaving a conversation or a catch
(15:47):
up and feeling drained or anxious and overthinking everything.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
That you said. It's the worst, that's the worst. That's horrible. No,
that's just not for me, No, it's not. And like
just feeling you've had the life sucked out of you.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Yeah, or like you constantly tiptoeing around them.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, that's the worst. If you're like, oh, I can't
say that or wear that, I'll do that because they'll
be angry or you'll be this like making yourself less,
shiny or small for anyone else. I've actually this is
dimming yourself. That's a big one crazy, but I've been
I'm currently watching Gossip Girl for like the fourth time
in my life. Honestly, the best show to read, the
best show. And also my boyfriend David is obsessed with it.
(16:26):
It's hilarious. That's very it's very deaf coded boyfriends. Also
my bestie, one of the girls, one of the girls.
We just watched the episode where Serena was like doing
this fashion show and Blair like trying to stich he
remember the one and she literally one of her friends
said to Serena, stop like dulling yourself down for Blair.
If she was your true friend, she'd want you to
(16:47):
shine and she'd want to support you and just sher
life motto there, good job Gossip Girl is so educational.
Good job Gossip Girl life mottos from Gossip Girl. Yes,
I think that's a big one. If you feel like
you can't be yourself, there's a lot of drama. You
feel like there's a lot of gossip or bitching.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Competitiveness too, yeah, call jealousness, or you feel like you
can't share your wins because they'll be like jealous or envious.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Icky.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
You want people to bring you up, support you, like
a really healthy friendship are ones that make you feel seen, supported, heard,
cheer you on, Like all of my best friends feel
like my biggest cheerleaders.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Nobody's got time to feel like that anymore. Hey, Like
we're adults now, we're not in high school. Nobody wants
to feel jealous or competitive or like roast by friends. No,
we're not here for that anymore.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
No, So, if you are navigating that, there's obviously a
few ways you can go about it.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
One of those ways.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Is distancing yourself and focusing on other places. Obviously what
you focus on expands. It depends how you kind of
want to go about it. And if you feel like
it needs to be a friendship breakup or it just
feels like it's going to naturally fade.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Out, would you say a slow fade? A slow fade.
I don't feel like it needs to be like, hey,
we're breaking up to it and I can never see
you again.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
You can like, your energy is yours and only you
can control where it goes. So really figuring out where
you want to put that energy, and if you keep
trying to make these people feel better or like you more,
or you know, trying to tiptoe around them, and make
them really happy. Maybe just redirect your energy and focus
on places where you're feeling.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Yeah, and like pull away for a while, put in
less effort and see how you feel. If you notice
yourself since not seeing them for a few weeks, you
feel less nervous or anxious or whatever it is. I mean,
there is your evidence that you need to continue on
with that. And I think also another one is if
you start pulling back and stop putting in so much
effort and you don't see each other, Yeah, well there's
(18:46):
your sign. That there's your sign. One of my friends,
Jackie and I we used to have this saying with boys.
Actually we developed it when we were in our boy
dating era when we were younger, and we call it
dot fo and it's dropped off the face of the Oh, yes.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I've had this one. I remember you tried to bring
it into the office that I said, it doesn't need
to be.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Here, get rid of it. I still use it in
common language.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I know it rolls off your vote. It's great, but
I hated titter for at the start. And now yeah,
so we're really segueing, but is taking it too far?
I love a good What do you call these acronyms.
I love a good acronym. Often try and bring them
in from my past life and Jenny rejects them. Anyway,
(19:28):
I have a point, just feels unnecessary.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
They had a bit of fun and I would love it.
So dot vote drop from the face of the earth.
If you put in less effort and they dot vote
or you said yeah, if you put in less effort, sorry,
looks at you for confliments. Ye, like I should know.
So if you put in less effort and they drop
(19:51):
off the face of the earth, you don't hear from them.
I mean, like it's one one sided friendship. You need that.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
And it feels like almost a lot of the time
those kinds of frien chips are like that, and there's
one person feeling unaligned in the friendship, but they're the
ones making.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
All the efforts.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Like eight times out of ten, yeah, and you're just
trying out of ten, what's to do that?
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I just the room, pol the room. It's eighty percent.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I was gonna say nine times out of ten, but
I was like, I can think there might be two people.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Out of ten, like six it will be like that.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
So I think just sometimes you can just redirect your energy.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
You definitely can.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
But let's go into friendship breakups tough one. If you
are feeling like a friendship doesn't align and this does happen,
it does happen where you get to a point where
you're like, I just need space, this doesn't feel right,
just like you would with a partner, and you are
then do that with friendships. Here is your permission slip.
So we wanted to give you some ways to frame
(21:01):
that or go about it so that if you are
navigating something like that, you've got the AMMO.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Tell me if you were going to break up with me,
which you never would, what actually something we're prepared only
at What would you say to me? How would you
say it?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I would probably just be like, I'd love you so much,
thank you so much for the friendship, but I feel
like we're going on different paths and maybe our futures
aren't aligning as much as our past has. Thank you
so much for everything. I'm leaving.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
No, but just you know, like it doesn't have to
be like aggressive or bitchy. It can be like, you know,
I value the time we've had together in our lives
and the friendship and your support. I just really feel like,
I'm you know, going on a different path and I'm
being really cautious with my energy and who's in my circle,
and I just like we're in different stages right now.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Well, even if it's just more so you need to
step back because you're putting a lot of energy into
someone who doesn't feel aligned. It can just be you know,
I'm going to focus on me. I'm taking a step back.
Thank you so much for being you. Like, if you
really need anything, I'm here.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
And you can always set intentions and expectations and be like, hey,
I just want to let you know I'm actually not
as available to hang out anymore. You know, if you
wanted to, not like cold Turkey, you can always communicate.
I think the communication is such a big thing, and
be like, I've just been feeling a little bit like this.
I'm actually you know, quite busy. I don't have a
(22:28):
whole lot of time at the moment. I want to
be really careful with my energy. So I've decided that
i just can't really hang out as much anymore. You know,
I'm just going to be focusing on me for a
little bit. Communicate, set intentions because yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I think it's like also people deserve that communication. If
you just kind of if it's someone you're really close
with and talking to a lot, and you just pull
away and give them no expectations, they're going to be
left wondering what they've done, and it's better to just
check in with them and be like, hey, I'm just
focusing on me right now.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
I'm going to be less available. Love you, love you,
love you. You can do it with grace. I feel
like you can any compassion. Yeah, you can break up
a friendship with grace because it's also you don't know
where they are or what they're thinking. Oh that's the
you know, two people in a friendship. So we're just
all about the compassion and kindness, all about the open communication.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Well, I think that just about wraps up the episode
for today. We hope that that was helpful. We know
we get a lot of questions about that. So thank
you so much for tuning in, Thanks for listening to
a little old GG and JJ and JJ. We will
be back in your ear in your ear holes, so
stay tuned for the next episode. We're going to be
(23:39):
talking all about reinventing yourself, the rebrand, the rebrand, how
to change your life and yourself.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Based off the fact that we both again moved away away,
whole new jobs, whole new lives, and we just thought
we often get questions, so we're going to take you
through that whole process. But also if you have any
other topics requests that you want to hear us chit
chatty about, please let us know.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah, drop into our DMS, drop it in the Rise
community Facebook group wherever you're feeling called yeah, let us
know because we created this segment for you guys to
chat about the things that you guys want to know
more about. But we will chat to you in our
next episode. We won't be the next episode, but our
next episode.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
If we keep going this way and you guys love it,
we'll probably just kick out and we might take over.
All right, Well, thank you so much, guys, have the
best rest of your day. Should we have like a
cute sign off? Should we l? What? Three? Two? Bye?
Bye bye
Hello everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
If you couldn't tell by the title and title, it
is Georgina and Jamie.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Should we just give it a.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Little intro on who we are first before we jump
into the episode.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I'm Jamie. I'm the brand manager at rn C. Georgina, Hi,
I am the social media coordinator at R and C.
But also I'm just like a key player in the team.
I'm also just that the most valuable for MVP. MVP.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
We are here because we have a really exciting new
segment for you, which is called The in Between, Navigating
the in Between, So we are going to be talking
about all things grief, relationships, friendships, reinventing yourself. Basically, we
are both in our twenties, we have both moved into
state to the Gold Coast. We've both navigated very similar
(00:53):
life challenges such as grief, change of friendships, moving all
the things.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Ending our current, finding our purpose.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
So we really just wanted to bring a segment where
we can talk about a lot of topics that are
openly asked within our community.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
We see a lot of this in our community. One
of the biggest questions we get is how do you
guys make friends? How did you find your job? And
you guys said that you wanted to hear more from us,
So here we are. We've delivered it wishes our commands.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Really, so today we are going to be talking all
about how to make friends as an adult, probably one
of the most asked questions that we have, and also
not only just making friends, but aligned friends. We obviously,
as I just said, moved into state, so we are
well versed in this topic.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Well versed. I feel like this was our first EP
for a reason. We can both talk about this underwater
because we've been through it and we moved here and
had nobody before we get into it and spoil it all.
But we are going to give you a few tips
and helpful things on how you can make and find
a line friendships no matter where you are.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yes, and then we're also just going to end the
episode with a little bit about how to distance yourself
from toxic or unaligned friends and how to navigate that,
because I think as you move through different life challenges
and stages, sometimes that naturally does mean that some of
your friends don't align where the friends are making you
feel drained, et cetera. So we're just also going to
(02:24):
give you some tips and tricks on how to navigate
that as well.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Let us get into it first of all, why he
is making friends as an adult so hard. I feel
like when you're a kid, you make so many friends.
You go up to someone on the playground and tell
them that you're like, they're scrunchy and you're besties. That
just doesn't really happen anymore being in your twenties. A
(02:50):
lot of the friendships you had from when you were
a child and when you're in school, they were all
based on you went to the same school, you were
in the same sports club, Like these friends were right
in front of you, and you kind of had no
choice but to be friends with these people. Whereas when
you get older, it's you know, you're selecting people based
on interests and feelings and conversations you like to have.
(03:13):
So it can be really hard to find people in
your space that are on the same wavelength as you.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
And I think it's also people are a lot less
inclined to just put themselves out there. You have a
lot more fear around it. You've got to lean into discomfort,
And I think it's also you've got to be really
clear on who you are first before you can find
friends that align with that. So making sure that you're
not just trying to find people that feel right, but
really being clear on what.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
That looks like for you. It's fully like dating. Finding
new friends is like dating because you can get the
ick from some people, you can leave them feeling different
ways when you hang out, Like there's so many different
parts that go into it, and you're pretty much dating.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I know, remember the first friendship date we had and
we like drove down to Fingle and sat in the current,
so like our connection cards, but it was on paper
still at the time because we were still testing the
yes the topics and we just sat.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
There and got to know each other.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
That's another really good tip is try and evoke the
conversations that you want to be having with the people.
If you're wanting deep conversations with people, don't just plan
to surface level conversations because you won't get to know.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
If this person is a lined for you or not.
But also you sometimes you can't go straight in with
the hard hitting questions, like you can't be on the
first time you've met them, be like, so tell me
about you childhood trauma. Like sometimes you go to like.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Well, I'm like someone who goes real deep, even like
in a setting where it's probably you know, like we're
out for dinner or something.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
And he's like, just run the backs and I'm like,
but I want to know, but I'm all for deep conversations.
Like I feel like you and I straight away obviously
we work together and we just ride audience. Yeah, yeah,
we hit it off and we could sense that we
both loved deep conversations and had a bit of that
like you know, depth there that we wanted to explore.
You know, it's making the other person feel safe to
(05:06):
be able to open up and have those conversations, you
being equally vulnerable and being able to share stuff. You've
got to just kind of sense the energy they're open
to it, and then create the environment for that to happen.
A coffee walk is a great way to do that.
Jim and coffee walk, Gim and coffee wak.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I mean, if you don't like gym and you don't
like coffee and you don't like walking, probably not, but
we do.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So how we do so that to our day.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
So should we get into our top tips on how
to actually make friends as an adult?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Give the people what they want?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yes, My first tip is be open to it, but
also put yourself in situations where you are going to
make connections with people. Don't just wait for someone to
come up to you and spark a conversation. If you
want to make friends with people, you're going to have
to lean into the discomfort. You're going to have to
spark conversations, See how the interests aligned, see how you vibe.
(05:57):
Because I think a lot of people like, oh, I
can't meet anyone, but then when they're at gym, they're
not talking to anyone, or when they go out, they're
not talking to anyone new. And if you're doing that,
you're probably not going to meet anyone new. So really
putting yourself in situations where you will make those connections
and you will find friends and figure out who aligns
with you and who doesn't, rather than just waiting for
(06:18):
people to come up to you and start a conversation.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Because you're gonna have slim picks if you do that,
slympic and slimlymp like it's but also being comfortable that
it's going to be uncomfortable because it's like dating, it's
going to be awkward, like it's going to be it's
going to push out of your comfort zone. You might
feel a little bit like scared or nervous, but when
you do something like that, when you're a bit uncomfortable
(06:42):
and on the other side, it's really rewarding. You always
feel so good, Like even at a few social events
we've been to, or even our Rise or Rise and
Conquer community events, like when someone comes up to you
and they're like hi, and then you just start chatting
and you're like instantly besties and you feel so confident
and like good around each other. Yeah, go home on
a little high. Yeah, it's such a nice feeling. So yeah, yeah,
(07:03):
I agree. I definitely think you need to kind of
set an intention to be uncomfortable and get ready to
put yourself out.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
There, and also like be open to where you might
meet those people. Like shout out Kayla, our beautiful eyebrow lady.
We met her through getting our eyebrows done and we
just hit it off and we were so open to
making friends and we formed such a beautiful connection which
has now grown into such a good friendship. So like,
don't be shut off to where you might meet those
friends or meet those people as well, and don't put
(07:33):
any expectations on it because the best friendships come from
the natural occurrences.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Yes, which kind of leads into what I was going
to say about being yourself from the beginning, because I know,
you know, like when Jamie and I both moved to
the Gold Coast having not really any friends here and
no one here, and know you hear about like the
run clubs and like all these different things, which it
can be so good to put yourself in those environments,
(08:00):
yourself out there. But if that's not aligned with you,
if you actually don't like running and you've got bad knees,
don't go to a run club to make best because
they're all going to want to run all the time
and it's not you. So be yourself from the beginning,
so you don't have to keep holding up a facade
or do things that you don't like do activities. Go
to environments that align with you and who you are,
(08:21):
and that's where you'll be best friends.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Or even if you're like only going out to meet
people at bars and you don't like staying up late
or drinking, probably don't go there. So making sure where
you're going is aligned to the people that you want
to find.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Hey, what is some good places that you'd go to
make friends.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Well, for me personally, because I love gym and pilates
and those sorts of things, I think they're great places
to make friends.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
And also I know there's a lot of.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I haven't personally doubled in this, but there's a lot
of wholesome events like especially on the Gold Coast that
are being run these days, or for example, the end
of last year, I went to one of Grace's events
and it was all business owners, So then you meet
a lie of people aligned to your interest within those events.
So also investing in things like that where it's people
(09:07):
who are on a similar journey as I think that's
a big thing, is people who are aligned to the
journey that you're on and where you are going and
where you want to go, and finding inspiration within those
people as well who are going to lift you up
and kind of help you along in that way. Because
it's also you want to have friends around you who
will match your vibe and your energy and also support
(09:29):
you in the journey that you want to take in life,
because it can be really hard if you're around people
who have very different interests or they're not really going
in the same direction as you and then you're just
feeling underligned.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yeah, which will probably get into more later when we
speak about how to remove yourself from toxic friendships. Them
out of here, get them out of get them out
of here. That's a great point. Thank you. Totally not
what I was just going to say, because I got
going out on the doctic friendship. Yeah. I think there's
lots of networking events, lots of things that you could
go to and try again. Obviously it's uncomfortable, but it
(10:03):
would be so worth it, and lots of people go
to those things alone. Like you'd be surprised, you know,
like dating, you could be like, oh, is there anyone
even out there that is my match or is compatible
with me? There definitely is. There's lots of people in
the same boat. We know because we get the community
messages of all the girlies and people when you come
to our events. Yeah. Yeah, Like I really just wanted
(10:25):
to meet some friends and they're definitely out there. The
hope is not gold. There's plenty of friends fiction to see.
You know. What else I have heard is really good.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Never tried it for myself, so don't take my word
for it, but Bumble has a friendship section where you
can go and match with people exactly like dating that
want to be friends. I've heard of people around the
Gold Coast who had just moved here fresh and were
struggling to make friends and then they've got a group
of best friends they met on bumble.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Now, well it makes sense. And even I've had like
a couple of girlies from our community message to me,
but hey, maybe to the Gold Coast like would love
to go for a coffee walk or whatever, which I'd
be so down for. I feel like a lot of
people would be. That's why our community. I don't have
a whole lot of time, so maybe not, but I
feel like that's why our community is so great. We
(11:08):
have a lot of people in there, so if you know,
a great space would be our communities, our Facebook group
or even rise Society.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
We are actually looking at doing more event meetups throughout
the year in different locations so that people can meet
aligned friends because our community is just wanting to meet
people who are into self growth and personal development and
manifestation and be able to have conversations with people that
they're actually interested in having. So we are looking at
(11:36):
doing more meetups this year. Yeah, let us know what
cities you'd like us to come to.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Let us know. Preferably do some cities outside of the
Gold Coast so Jamie and I can get a free
dress perfectly. Do some cities in Europe, so I think Italy.
We'd love to hang.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Out specifically in first class anyhow air hostess. So yeah,
they would be my place, as we went off with
a tangent there, But gyms and kind of events where
you're going to meet people, where would be your places?
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I would probably go to like a sweet little bath house, silent,
like a social bath house, or even like this beautiful
cafe that I go to in crumb And Valley that
has a nice view and a lot of people go
there by themselves and like read and like get a
cup of cacao or something like that would be really
cute across the yeah, and be like what are you
(12:26):
working on? And I wouldn't do that. But have you
ever starked a conversation? Then yeah, I'm I feel like
I'm pretty. I've heard you're quite the quite the social butterfly,
the socially style. I like to make friends wherever I go,
but then don't have time to see them. Sorry, I'll
make friends with you. Please don't want to hang out
with me. No, I can't even reply to know. But
(12:49):
I have time for everybody. But I feel like it
was a really great experience for me moving here and
not really having anybody because it proved to me. And
I know this sounds really silly, but I'm an interesting
of enough person that I can make a lot of
friends And it's actually not that hard, Like once you
get over all the limiting beliefs and you know, being
(13:10):
scared and fearful of rejection or whatnot, when you do it,
you feel so good and you're like, wow, I can
make friends.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Ooh, I'm actually pretty cool people like me. Yeah, don't
you think when you moved you kind of discovered who
you actually were because there was no preconceived ideas of
who you were. You got to fully just step into
who you were and discover that so then you could
make those connections super aligned to who you were.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yeah, finding friendships in inspiring places like with work, because
you are, you know, the average of the five people
that you hang around most great decision getting some inspiring
expensive friends because I feel like it's really expensive friends.
I have some great idea getting some rich friends. That's
(13:55):
a great idea too, though, expansive friends, because I feel
like it's not only benefited me in terms of like friendships,
but also my mindset, my life, you know, like how
I feel. So I think that's a hot tip. Get
a job in a really fun office. Yeah. No, I
think we're really lucky to with who we work with.
We are very you would be. We're blessed. We're just
(14:17):
such great people.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
A big team of us, you know, everyone that we
work with. We have such aligned people. We surround our
community like we have.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
I feel like, even though we're not like physically in
person hanging out all the time, it's the energy you're
surrounded with, theirs, their best, the communities you hang out with.
It's even like the content you consume in certain communities,
Like it's all of that and the support and the
women or men you have around you makes the difference,
makes such a big difference.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yeah, they're are top hot tips to making friends with
an adult. Now let's get into how to sever I'm
not gonna say sever that's a bit.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
People.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
How to deal with people who are unaligned or toxic
friendships in the way that it feels draining, you don't
feel like you can be yourself. There's a lot of drama,
those sorts of things. I think this is also such
an important part of then stepping into making friends with
aligned people, because if you're stuck in unaligned friendships, you
(15:27):
don't really have space to make aligned friends. So how
you can kind of navigate that, what that looks like,
what kind of unaligned and toxic friendships feel like as well?
So I think the first thing is if some real
telltale signs if you are kind of in an unaligned
or toxic friendship is leaving a conversation or a catch
(15:47):
up and feeling drained or anxious and overthinking everything.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
That you said. It's the worst, that's the worst. That's horrible. No,
that's just not for me, No, it's not. And like
just feeling you've had the life sucked out of you.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Yeah, or like you constantly tiptoeing around them.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, that's the worst. If you're like, oh, I can't
say that or wear that, I'll do that because they'll
be angry or you'll be this like making yourself less,
shiny or small for anyone else. I've actually this is
dimming yourself. That's a big one crazy, but I've been
I'm currently watching Gossip Girl for like the fourth time
in my life. Honestly, the best show to read, the
best show. And also my boyfriend David is obsessed with it.
(16:26):
It's hilarious. That's very it's very deaf coded boyfriends. Also
my bestie, one of the girls, one of the girls.
We just watched the episode where Serena was like doing
this fashion show and Blair like trying to stich he
remember the one and she literally one of her friends
said to Serena, stop like dulling yourself down for Blair.
If she was your true friend, she'd want you to
(16:47):
shine and she'd want to support you and just sher
life motto there, good job Gossip Girl is so educational.
Good job Gossip Girl life mottos from Gossip Girl. Yes,
I think that's a big one. If you feel like
you can't be yourself, there's a lot of drama. You
feel like there's a lot of gossip or bitching.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Competitiveness too, yeah, call jealousness, or you feel like you
can't share your wins because they'll be like jealous or envious.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Icky.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
You want people to bring you up, support you, like
a really healthy friendship are ones that make you feel seen, supported, heard,
cheer you on, Like all of my best friends feel
like my biggest cheerleaders.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Nobody's got time to feel like that anymore. Hey, Like
we're adults now, we're not in high school. Nobody wants
to feel jealous or competitive or like roast by friends. No,
we're not here for that anymore.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
No, So, if you are navigating that, there's obviously a
few ways you can go about it.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
One of those ways.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Is distancing yourself and focusing on other places. Obviously what
you focus on expands. It depends how you kind of
want to go about it. And if you feel like
it needs to be a friendship breakup or it just
feels like it's going to naturally fade.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Out, would you say a slow fade? A slow fade.
I don't feel like it needs to be like, hey,
we're breaking up to it and I can never see
you again.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
You can like, your energy is yours and only you
can control where it goes. So really figuring out where
you want to put that energy, and if you keep
trying to make these people feel better or like you more,
or you know, trying to tiptoe around them, and make
them really happy. Maybe just redirect your energy and focus
on places where you're feeling.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Yeah, and like pull away for a while, put in
less effort and see how you feel. If you notice
yourself since not seeing them for a few weeks, you
feel less nervous or anxious or whatever it is. I mean,
there is your evidence that you need to continue on
with that. And I think also another one is if
you start pulling back and stop putting in so much
effort and you don't see each other, Yeah, well there's
(18:46):
your sign. That there's your sign. One of my friends,
Jackie and I we used to have this saying with boys.
Actually we developed it when we were in our boy
dating era when we were younger, and we call it
dot fo and it's dropped off the face of the Oh, yes.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I've had this one. I remember you tried to bring
it into the office that I said, it doesn't need
to be.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Here, get rid of it. I still use it in
common language.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I know it rolls off your vote. It's great, but
I hated titter for at the start. And now yeah,
so we're really segueing, but is taking it too far?
I love a good What do you call these acronyms.
I love a good acronym. Often try and bring them
in from my past life and Jenny rejects them. Anyway,
(19:28):
I have a point, just feels unnecessary.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
They had a bit of fun and I would love it.
So dot vote drop from the face of the earth.
If you put in less effort and they dot vote
or you said yeah, if you put in less effort, sorry,
looks at you for confliments. Ye, like I should know.
So if you put in less effort and they drop
(19:51):
off the face of the earth, you don't hear from them.
I mean, like it's one one sided friendship. You need that.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
And it feels like almost a lot of the time
those kinds of frien chips are like that, and there's
one person feeling unaligned in the friendship, but they're the
ones making.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
All the efforts.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Like eight times out of ten, yeah, and you're just
trying out of ten, what's to do that?
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I just the room, pol the room. It's eighty percent.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I was gonna say nine times out of ten, but
I was like, I can think there might be two people.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Out of ten, like six it will be like that.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
So I think just sometimes you can just redirect your energy.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
You definitely can.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
But let's go into friendship breakups tough one. If you
are feeling like a friendship doesn't align and this does happen,
it does happen where you get to a point where
you're like, I just need space, this doesn't feel right,
just like you would with a partner, and you are
then do that with friendships. Here is your permission slip.
So we wanted to give you some ways to frame
(21:01):
that or go about it so that if you are
navigating something like that, you've got the AMMO.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Tell me if you were going to break up with me,
which you never would, what actually something we're prepared only
at What would you say to me? How would you
say it?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I would probably just be like, I'd love you so much,
thank you so much for the friendship, but I feel
like we're going on different paths and maybe our futures
aren't aligning as much as our past has. Thank you
so much for everything. I'm leaving.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
No, but just you know, like it doesn't have to
be like aggressive or bitchy. It can be like, you know,
I value the time we've had together in our lives
and the friendship and your support. I just really feel like,
I'm you know, going on a different path and I'm
being really cautious with my energy and who's in my circle,
and I just like we're in different stages right now.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Well, even if it's just more so you need to
step back because you're putting a lot of energy into
someone who doesn't feel aligned. It can just be you know,
I'm going to focus on me. I'm taking a step back.
Thank you so much for being you. Like, if you
really need anything, I'm here.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
And you can always set intentions and expectations and be like, hey,
I just want to let you know I'm actually not
as available to hang out anymore. You know, if you
wanted to, not like cold Turkey, you can always communicate.
I think the communication is such a big thing, and
be like, I've just been feeling a little bit like this.
I'm actually you know, quite busy. I don't have a
(22:28):
whole lot of time at the moment. I want to
be really careful with my energy. So I've decided that
i just can't really hang out as much anymore. You know,
I'm just going to be focusing on me for a
little bit. Communicate, set intentions because yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I think it's like also people deserve that communication. If
you just kind of if it's someone you're really close
with and talking to a lot, and you just pull
away and give them no expectations, they're going to be
left wondering what they've done, and it's better to just
check in with them and be like, hey, I'm just
focusing on me right now.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
I'm going to be less available. Love you, love you,
love you. You can do it with grace. I feel
like you can any compassion. Yeah, you can break up
a friendship with grace because it's also you don't know
where they are or what they're thinking. Oh that's the
you know, two people in a friendship. So we're just
all about the compassion and kindness, all about the open communication.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Well, I think that just about wraps up the episode
for today. We hope that that was helpful. We know
we get a lot of questions about that. So thank
you so much for tuning in, Thanks for listening to
a little old GG and JJ and JJ. We will
be back in your ear in your ear holes, so
stay tuned for the next episode. We're going to be
(23:39):
talking all about reinventing yourself, the rebrand, the rebrand, how
to change your life and yourself.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Based off the fact that we both again moved away away,
whole new jobs, whole new lives, and we just thought
we often get questions, so we're going to take you
through that whole process. But also if you have any
other topics requests that you want to hear us chit
chatty about, please let us know.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah, drop into our DMS, drop it in the Rise
community Facebook group wherever you're feeling called yeah, let us
know because we created this segment for you guys to
chat about the things that you guys want to know
more about. But we will chat to you in our
next episode. We won't be the next episode, but our
next episode.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
If we keep going this way and you guys love it,
we'll probably just kick out and we might take over.
All right, Well, thank you so much, guys, have the
best rest of your day. Should we have like a
cute sign off? Should we l? What? Three? Two? Bye?
Bye bye
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!