April 28, 2025 • 38 mins
TRIGGER WARNING: The contents of this episode discusses TTC & Pregnancy
As you may know from my social media Tim and I are expecting our second child this year 🫶🏼 and we are so incredibly happy, but it wasn't an easy process getting pregnant again. In this episode I'll share our experiences from the last 12 months, with voice recordings in real time as each month passed. These raw and honest recordings document the ups and downs throughout the year and one massive curveball that we could not have possibly planned for. You'll hear how our TTC journey at times tested my mindset, but ultimately happened exactly the way it was supposed to. If you are going through your own TTC journey or know someone who is, this episode is for you.
G x
Watch my TTC journey on YouTube
Try Rise App for one month FREE
Find out more about the Rise app here.
Join the Rise & Conquer Facebook group here.
Follow the Rise & Conquer Instagram here.
Discover Rise & Conquer courses here.
Shop Rise & Conquer products here.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the
land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb
Merry people. They've been having conversations and telling stories on
this land for thousands of years, and we show our
gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture.
(00:25):
This is Rise and Conquer, the podcast where we strive
to become the highest version of ourselves through curious conversations,
healthy mindsets, laughter, connection, and a deep desire to evolve.
I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson. Join me as we explore parenthood, business, manifestation,
(00:51):
and so much more. It's positive, it's practical, and it's
about putting you in the driver's seat of your own life.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Hello, my loves, and welcome back to the podcast. It
is your host Georgie Stevenson, and today we have a
very vulnerable episode where I am opening up and chatting
to you guys about me and Tim's second trying to
Conceive IVF journey. So I am going to do two
(01:26):
podcasts and I'm going to do this podcast that's all
about like the trying to conceive the infertility, and then
I am going to do another podcast that is answering
your questions that will be more focused on the pregnancy.
So if you're listening to that and that one, the
(01:46):
second one isn't out yet, that one will be coming out,
And that's more kind of like answering questions at this
moment in time, twenty weeks pregnant, Whereas what you're about
to hear is literally live audio from our year long
trying to conceive journey. And I think it's really important
to open up and talk about this because when you
(02:08):
are trying to conceive, especially if you haven't told anyone
about it, it can feel very isolating, and especially if
you have friends and family around you who are getting
pregnant so easily, it can really be such a heavy
time emotionally. But it's also so normal, Like I've had
(02:31):
more than half of my girlfriends have experienced some form
of infertility, so it's so normal, but I think we
don't talk about it enough. So I just wanted to
open up the conversation and you'll hear in these clips
I'm going to go through. I started in January twenty
twenty four, and I just wanted to document myself and
(02:53):
my mental health because in our first trying to conceive journey.
I honestly struggled so much and it wasn't good, and
I really wanted this journey to be different. Look, it
still was tricky, and I say about to get into it.
We did end up having to do IVF, and we
had lots of issues with IVF, but look, I am
(03:15):
currently twenty weeks pregnant, so it all worked out, so
let's get straight into it. Also, this audio is from
a YouTube video, so I do have a YouTube video
if you prefer to watch this instead of listen, and
we will link it in the show notes. Yeah, I
really want you to hear the kind of like the
live documentation of it, because you can kind of feel
(03:38):
it in the energy. You can hear it in my
voice how I'm going. And I just want to normalize infertility.
I want to normalize, you know, trying to conceive journeys.
So let's get into it. My Loves January twenty twenty four,
twelve months before we found out pregnant. So Tim and
(04:03):
I are trying to type a baby. I thought I
would like record my thoughts, feelings, emotions, all the things
as we go on the journey.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Last time, it took us.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Over twelve months we had a miscarriage.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
It was so much heartache and so challenging.
Speaker 5 (04:27):
It was so hard, and I'm so determined for this
experience to be different from my mindset to be different,
so I'm going to document it.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
So this is the very first month. The way we're
going about it right now, I've always tracked my cycle
and we're just having a lot of fun, keeping things
super spicy.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Things are going to be different this time.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Previously it was very like I'm ovulating, let's have sex as.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Much just weak that, and it just did not make
for a great experience.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
You think it sounds fun until you've been doing it
for twelve months.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
And so for example, this month, something that's difference is
like sitting in this energy of like unbothered, undas I
know what I've won, I'm clear on what I want.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I know my body is meant to create. I know
the little beautiful soul is there and it's going to
come in, and that.
Speaker 6 (05:25):
Is the vibe.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
And I get to enjoy this journey and I have
this beautiful connection with my husband and this beautiful time
with Ivy, and that is what's going to be different
about this time around. And I'm sure there's going to
be emotions and highs and lows, but that's okay. The
end of January twenty twenty four, so I caught up
(05:46):
with my bestie and she's pregnant, and I really sat
in the feeling of festival, so happy for her because
previously she had to go through IVF and it was
natural and it was months two, So happy for her.
But I really sat on the energy of, like, if
she can do it naturally, so can I. And previously
(06:10):
when we're trying to conceive things like that, you know,
could have triggered me.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
But I am really sitting the.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Energy of like, if she can do it, I can
do it too, and like how magical. February twenty twenty four.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
Just got my parent feelings kind of neutral, not too worried.
I just did some journaling this morning where I did
the affirmations that my body is healed. My thyroid is healed,
so I.
Speaker 7 (06:42):
Have issues with that, and my body is the perfect
vessel for a baby to come through, and it is
coming through in present tense.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
March twenty twenty four, Month two obviously disappointed, sad, but
also I keep getting a vision of them, can see
their face.
Speaker 8 (07:09):
I can see the curls, I can see the personality.
Speaker 9 (07:13):
It just is like filling me up, and I'm like,
I know it's close.
Speaker 8 (07:17):
I know they're there. So it's like I don't have
to worry. They're they're they're coming. I just get to
trust and enjoy this process. It actually gets to be
so beautiful.
Speaker 9 (07:29):
It doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't have to
be difficult.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
The end of March twenty twenty four, gonna lie feeling
a little bit of sadness, like doubt, like is this
then to be?
Speaker 10 (07:44):
Especially because everyone around me is getting pregnant like everyone
and like very quickly, which I love and.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Adore, and it's so like expanding for me. But I've
been doing like a spirit baby meditation. She's being really beautiful.
I've been like walking in with the soul and I
just like I can feel them. I'm just like trusting this.
I've been like really connecting with the soul and they
need to come in at the perfect time. Like Ivy
(08:13):
felt like chaotic, she was like a well wind, She's
a sage. It makes sense, and this baby feels really
grounded and like really like I'm gonna come in at
the perfect time. I'm gonna be like the glue for family,
and I'm just trusting they know where to come in.
They know this season, they feel so like wise, and
I'm just really trusting and being present and having fun
(08:36):
and enjoying myself and it feels good.
Speaker 6 (08:40):
It feels good.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
April twenty twenty four, Let's just see.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
I don't think I am not to break me.
Speaker 10 (08:58):
I just wanted to check because I'm about to go.
And it's been a hot minute since I upticked.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
You guys, we kind of just like I wanted to
chill for a couple of months.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
I'm whispering because I just.
Speaker 10 (09:13):
I just wanted to chill for a couple of months.
And we went to Europe and it was amazing, and
it has felt really good to just surrender and lean back.
I'm really proud of myself for how I'm showing come
during this time.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
July twenty twenty four, it's literally my thirtieth birthday in
like two days on Saturday, and I'm just so excited
to be thirty and like call in this like new era,
this like softness, being a.
Speaker 11 (09:41):
Mom to two babies, maybe even three, and just like
such a new way of doing things surrendered, detached is flow.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
I know it's all on its way.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I just get to wait and I get to enjoy.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
When I'm waiting for it.
Speaker 12 (09:58):
At the end of July four just did another meditation
connecting to baby and saying how disappointed and upset I
was that they didn't come through this month, but also
(10:19):
how grateful.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I am and how excited I am, and how I
know it's all gonna happen in the perfect timing, and
also that it's okay, come through in the perfect timing,
and I'm trusting and I'm surrendering, and I can be disappointed, will.
Speaker 9 (10:34):
Also being so grateful for what's to come.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
And then I also tapped into like my higher self
when I'm about forty, I do this like timeline thing.
And the wisdom that came through was stay in the frequency,
stay in the vibe. You know what you want, Stay
in the frequency, and it's all coming to you, and surrender,
(11:00):
not trying to control, and it's going to happen in
the perfect timing, and it's got to be better than
you could have imagined. August twenty twenty four, It is
safe for me to be a mother of two. It
is safe for me to be a mother of two.
I welcome in my second baby August twenty twenty four,
(11:22):
So it has been about eight months of trying and
me and Tim made the decision. We're like, let's just
go get the tests the things you have to do,
the scans and whatnot. And so we went and saw
the doctor that we used last time to do aUI
because he was really good.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
We did aUI got ivied the first.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Time, and I UI is this like the basically the
same chances as getting pregnant as like doing it naturally.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
You just think turkey baseduff. So he scanned my.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Ovaries and for the day that I'm supposed to be
on my period, he said, my ovaries are showing polycystic.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
They're polycystic ovaries.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
So he said it is highly unlikely that I would
have a spontaneous pregnancy.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Weird language.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
He said, my lining is very thin and my ovaries
are polycystic, so they have like heaps of follicles but
not a dominant. So he said, probably over you know,
the last whatever months, you probably even though I'm getting
symptoms of ovulating, I'm probably not even releasing an egg
(12:36):
or if I am, the lining probably wouldn't be thick
enough to like catch.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
It interesting.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Look, and it's kind of the exact same things last time,
so I wasn't not expecting yet.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
But yeah, so that's the update. So I think we're
just gonna go straight into EUI because why not. Why
keep waiting? And it feels really good. I feel really excited.
So I just got a whole bunch of blood tests.
See how we go. Yeah, I don't know, I feel like,
feel really good. I feel really excited. It feels good
(13:16):
because I'm like, it makes sense. I'm not going quizy.
I'm not going to Lulu at.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
The end of August twenty twenty four jokes. So we
got some test results back and tim sperm is not at.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
A great point, and so basically.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
The doctor's like, with my ovary's and tim sperm quality,
IUY would not be possible.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
And we have to go straight to IVF. There's nothing
wrong with IVF. I have a lot of friends and
family who have done it again, all the work I
teach the how. It's not my responsibility.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
The end goal of the vision is beautiful, healthy baby.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
So I don't know, We're just gonna have We'll think
of that see how it sits.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
I go from there.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
September twenty twenty four, period is fifteen days late, not pregnant,
don't know what the fuck's going on.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Usually so regular, lots of fun.
Speaker 12 (14:33):
Going to get acupunta because you know what, whatever whatever.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
At the end of September twenty twenty four, I'm feeling
really frustrated because as soon as I got the Piers diagnosis.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Previous to that, my cycle was always on point.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I thought I was always ovulating mid cycle, and then
now it's like my brain knows, for example, this cycle
has been thirty eight days and that has like never
happened to me. So I'm feeling like a bit frustrated
because I'm like, has my cycle actually you know what
I mean? Like, have I cyched myself out with the
diagnosis and now my cycle's like playing up, But she's
(15:15):
still doing her spirit baby visualizations, doing my affirmations. Trusting
I've told the universe what I want, healthy baby, and
obviously if it's not happening this month, it's because that
wouldn't be the outcome. So I'm absolutely trusting everything is
going to plan, falling a place in the perfect timing
(15:38):
that is my lesson.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
That is all I have to do. I don't have
to worry about the how.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
So that is the vibe I just like I have
to remind myself of course I have human moments, but
also that's what we're here for. September twenty twenty four,
my period is twenty days late. Definitely not pregnant, but
ignore that. But this is the new vibe moving forward.
I've had the epiphanies, I've worked.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Through my shit.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
There was actually quite a few like things work I
had to do, which I can share at another time.
Basically like blocks, Like the work that I teach is
like manifesting, and when you can't get to something, it
is a block of like okay, so why do you
think you can't get there?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
And for me, it was a lot to do with I'm.
Speaker 9 (16:33):
Not healthy enough, you know, all the stuff of my thyroid.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Am I going to be able to have enough time
for the next baby and continue to work.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
On my businesses? Honestly a lot of the same shit.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
I had with IVY and I didn't even realize, but
I had to like work through that. So I've been
doing that the last couple of weeks and just being
like really.
Speaker 9 (16:59):
Honest with my like if I was giving a.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Baby right now, what would my nervous system do, Like
why would I freak out?
Speaker 2 (17:08):
What would be like the very first thoughts and working
through that.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
So I've been doing that behind the scenes and I
can definitely share more of that work if you guys
want me to.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
But the next.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Stage of this is like I'm going to be sitting
in a new.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
State of de Lulu again. This is work I teach.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Where basically I'm going to be telling my subconscious brain
at any point I can that I am pregnant, that
my body can hold a pregnancy, that I am attracting
that sperm, that I have the most perfect uterus, that
I cannot wait to have this baby, that my work
(17:53):
is perfect to have another baby, that like all the circumstances,
I'm like, it's perfect to have a baby, and just
like absolutely like sitting in like I am pregnant, Like
I'm currently pregnant right now, Like I am pregnant, and
it's perfect. My body is perfect, the baby is perfect.
(18:14):
The sperm just got up there and it got into
the egg and it was perfect and it worked so
well because I have a perfect body for pro creating.
That's what my body was meant to do, and that's
what it did. It did, not what it's going to do.
It did anyway. So I'm gonna sit in this state of.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Delulu for the next couple of weeks. I am doing a.
Speaker 9 (18:40):
Meditation every morning and every night, and just like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Sitting a new state of Delulu.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
So the only thing with the state of Delulu again,
there can't be any of those like blocks they spoke
about previously.
Speaker 9 (18:53):
So you need to work through that first because otherwise,
if you.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Say I am pregnant, but then you've still got this
block of like, oh but it's going to fuck up
my career, your subconscious is not actually gonna believe it.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
So you have to do those block before. But this is, yeah,
I don't know. I feel different.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
And also I'm like no, like baby, baby's so close,
baby's here, Like I'm breagnant, Like this is I've jumped
onto the new timeline like it's happening and not like
let's see how it goes like it's happening.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
It's done. It's done.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
October twenty twenty four, so we're going straight to IVF
And I got my bods this morning. I got my medication,
but I feel so emotional because.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I just feel like a bit of.
Speaker 9 (19:50):
A pity party moment.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I am also my apperiens sence, but you know, just
like the thoughts like I thought this time was gonna
be different, like why does it have to be such
a process, And so you see other people who just
like instantly get pregnant, and you're just like, but also.
Speaker 6 (20:21):
I know.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I just on the phone to.
Speaker 13 (20:24):
Tim having a good crime to him and he's like,
bab if this is our, if this is the thing
in life that we need to struggle with, it's okay.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
We can do it together.
Speaker 9 (20:37):
There's solutions, like it's gonna be okay.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
And I'm no, He's so good at making me realize that,
and it's like, again, we all have shit we deal.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
With in life. This is ours and it's okay. And
I like, you guys know, like I am.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Throughout this whole journey, I have been trying to be
so positive, but also I am human and I have
human emotions or I'm just like I don't know, I
just have like weird feelings, and I'm like, is this
the right thing to do?
Speaker 9 (21:10):
Should we just.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Like wait longer? I just I feel a bit like
conflicted about it.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I think I also feel like quite overwhelmed because it's
literally like this cycle, it could all happen, and it's like,
I don't know, I just feeling all the feels about it.
But I'm gonna go do my visualization. I've been doing
my visualization like hypnosis thing I read myself every morning
(21:41):
and night and it just puts me in like the
best vibe.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
So I'm gonna go do that.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
The end of October twenty twenty four. So in the
next couple of days, we are doing our egg retrieval,
which is very exciting. We did have some issues with
my bloods all.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
It looks like.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I was going to ovulate naturally, so he had to
do some extra injections. But I got my results back
from my doctor and he said it looks good for
egg retrieval, so we're very excited. I'm definitely feeling like
just a bit bloated, but I keep affirming these you know,
(22:21):
I'll do whatever I need to do for baby, always
happy to do it. And this is like me being
this is us being one step closer to baby. So
feeling really good, feeling really positive, putting all the positive
vibes out there, and no baby's.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Coming so soon.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
November twenty twenty four, No, not pregnant, even though I
feel so bloaded. So we basically got too many eggs.
I had twenty four eggs, twenty were able to be
like actually used, and then thirteen have been fertilized. So
(23:04):
we have thirteen little babies, thirteen little Tim and Georgy's.
But because there was so many eggs, their wonder might
be hyper stimulated, so we can't do a fresh transfer.
They're going to get frozen and we're going to try
next month. So like super disappointing.
Speaker 9 (23:23):
I also feel you can see the bruiser.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
I also feel like quite sick, just so bloated and
like a bit constipated and just like not great. But luckily,
because we have so many little babies, I won't ever
have to do those injections or that procedure probably again,
(23:46):
like I would hope.
Speaker 14 (23:48):
So yeah, now we're just waiting for my period, waiting
another month.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Tim's response was, of course, we have to wait another month,
like of course, but we're not doing that.
Speaker 9 (24:01):
We're not in victim mentality.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
So anyway, really exciting you're gonna have at the end
of November twenty twenty four. Today was supposed to be
our embryo transfer, and twenty minutes before I was supposed
to be at the doctors, my doctor called and said,
come to his office, not like the vitilia office. And
(24:27):
basically he said, you know, there's a ten percent chance
that you thow out the embryo and it doesn't survive.
It does happen. And he said, we thought out like
the first one and it didn't survive. So we thought
out a second one and it didn't survive. And then
he's like, so we thought out our third one and
it didn't survive. And he said, it's just not normal.
(24:51):
He actually said, never in his career has that happened.
And so they looked further into it, and there scientists,
like the fucking IVS scientists after our eggs. He didn't like,
I don't know if it's seemed they didn't put a
(25:12):
certain solution on it. So when they froze the eggs,
like basically they cooked it and none of them are
viable because I'm just like human error. My doctor said, like,
never in his career has this happened. Were patient, and
(25:34):
he just feels so devastated for us because he's like,
I just like this is it's happened. Oh so anyway,
(26:01):
he said, like the fucking director signist director will be
like calling us to like let us know what the
fuck happened, and like, obviously we're gonna get compensated for
this cycle and stuff. And is that really good feeling
that I really wanted it that happened. And then it
(26:21):
was like I don't have to go through those like
injections again because it made me so seeck and so on.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Well, and now I have to go through the whole
fucking thing again.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
We had eight embryos. It's so many.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Oh fuck.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
We're also going away soon, so I don't even know
if we can do it next cycle.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
So that's the.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Update December twenty twenty four. You know what no one
tells you, the IVF bloat. I'm not pregnant, definitely.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
We just did.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Our egg retrieval and I have been like, that's like hard.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
I looked like this one.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
I was six month six months pregnant, and it's been
like this for almost a week. I did have hyperstimulation,
but like I had to go to work today and
literally say to the girls, oh, I'm just really bloated
like that.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
I'm not even.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Joking, guys, Like no one talks about this. As you
can see, it was an emotional rollercoaster. So the last
video that I actually didn't film, but after my second transfer,
my second an egg retrieval, after the IVF scientists basically
(28:04):
killed our fertilized eggs, I went through an egg retrieval
and then what's wild is we got seventeen eggs and
my bloods did indicate I was like quite high on
my estrogen. So when I was at the egg retrieval,
like after when you wake up from the gas, my
(28:26):
doctor said, it looks like you're, you know, quite overstimulated,
which happened the first time, which is why they had
to freeze the eggs and I couldn't get a fresh transfer,
and so he said, it looks like it's happened again,
so most likely you'll have to do a frozen transfer
in a month. And that was literally December, and I
(28:50):
worked it out and it's like it would have been
around Christmas time, which my fertility clinic was shut, and
I just.
Speaker 14 (28:58):
Like spiraled and I was so upset because I was
like no, I thought, like I thought would have a
bait like I thought we'd be pregnant this year, and
so I actually posted on social.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Media and it was kind of one of those moments
where I just became so detached and I was like,
I just can't carry this heaviness anymore, because it felt
really heavy. I show up on social media, on podcasts,
on YouTube's monthly, daily, weekly, and so to carry that
(29:31):
sort of like burden and heaviness, and you guys not
know emotionally what I was going through was honestly really
hard for the whole year of twenty twenty four. So
when my doctor said that, I literally went home and
I created that video and I'll put a link in
the show notes and posted it, and it made me
(29:53):
feel so much better because I just felt lighter. I
felt detached, and I was like, you know what, fuck it,
it's not my year, it's not meant to be. I'm
not gonna hold it in anymore. And I did find
it so freeing. I do recommend if you feel ready
for it, if you're going through trying to conceive journey,
to open up about it and to talk to the
(30:14):
people you feel safe about and the people you love.
I personally have so much love for my community. I
feel so safe in my community. So when I opened
up about it, I honestly felt so held and seen
and supported by you guys, and I felt so much better,
and I just felt like free, Like it was freeing
to finally talk about it, and what is crazy? I
(30:38):
literally posted that and then it was a day later
my doctor called and he was like, because there is
like a rule with IVF that it's like if you
have fifteen to seventeen eggs, anything past that, you're generally
you have to go straight to frozen.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
You can't do fresh.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
And if you're like estrogen levels too high, and he's like, look,
you're right on the casp, but because of what happened
with your other egg retrieval, like.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
I feel so bad.
Speaker 6 (31:08):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
And then I forgot to say he's retiring. So this
is like my doctor's last month, which means not only
will I miss the next cycle because it's Christmas, I
have to start with a whole new doctor in the
new year. And that's why I was like so devastated
and so disappointed. It just felt like such like a
lot of blows.
Speaker 6 (31:29):
And so.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
He was like, look, your bloods aren't optimal, and you're
right on the casp, but I'm so sorry for what
you have been through.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
If you want to.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Do the fresh transfer, we will do it. I personally
think it might be a waste of a fertilized egg.
And I had eight We had sorry, eight fertilized eggs.
And I spoke to Tim about it and he's like,
let's just do it, Like we have eight eggs, Like
let's just do it, and like we'll see what happened.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
And so, no joke.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
I did my transfer five days later because they're five
day old eggs. They let them like cook for five days,
had eight eggs, did a fresh transfer, froze the rest,
and we literally got pregnant. That transfer, the one they
(32:23):
weren't gonna do, the one they said will probably be
a waste. And so it was wild because I just
posted on social media about infertility and then I got pregnant,
and I was like, oh my god, this is crazy.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
But like so divine all meant to happen.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
But that's my world infertility story, and yeah, just sharing
it with you guys, being very raw and honest, wild times.
But look, yeah, if you have any questions, put them below.
I'm happy to share. Like I said, when I went
through my first experience, I wish more people had spoken
(33:04):
about it. And then when I shared it with you
guys last year, I just felt like a weight has lifted.
So I want to have this sort of content out
in the Internet for people to like listen and here
you can tell where the videos on, like emotions wild,
but I'm being very vulnerable and being very open.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I hope you can respect that.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
And obviously, look, we're still it's still early days.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
But I'm just so happy to be pregnant.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
And as much as if it was like a journey,
of course, I wouldn't change a thing, and your challenges
shape you. What you go through shapes you. And last
year was honestly the toughest year. It was like one
of the toughest years of my life for so many
other reasons.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
But we got there. We've got this sweet little baby.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
We don't know the gender yet, so yeah, so, as
you heard, guys, that was an absolute well wind. I
just wanted to really open up and share and be
really honest about it all because I know so many
people go through and I think people think, oh, you
just get pregnant and that's it, and it's just not
the case for some people. And also my advice to
(34:07):
people who are trying to conceive would be, and I
know this is so hard and it's so counterintuitive, but
you need to fill up your life during this period
so it doesn't consume you. And our first trying to
conceive journey with IV consumed me for twelve months, like
(34:29):
I really didn't kind of think of anything else. I
was like crying every month I wasn't pregnant, because what
you focus on expands. So if you're focusing on I'm
not pregnant, negative pregnancy tests, like this isn't happening for me,
that's what is going to continue. That's what's going to expand.
And so something that really helped me in my second
(34:49):
trying to conceive journey was really filling up my life.
So obviously I have a very full on work schedule,
so that helps very helpful to have a really made
sure I was like seeing friends. Last year twenty twenty
four was actually the year we traveled the most. We
went to Europe, we did certain things, and I think
(35:11):
a big thing is when you're trying to conceive, you
kind of put off your life you're like, oh, well,
you know, I'm going through IBF. I'm going through this,
so it's like I can't do this. I can't do that,
And I would honestly just suggest like, don't do that.
Do life, fill up your cup, focus on you, focus
on other things. While also obviously you do have to
(35:32):
eat well, eat for your hormones. I would also recommend
after six months, just going to a fertility doctor and
getting all the tests done because a lot of the
time it's not even you, it could be your partner sperm.
It could be you know, like I got diagnosed with PSOs,
so I had to change my diet and lifestyle. So
(35:53):
it's like there's no point of like continuing in fertility
for over a year where you could be helping it
with supplementation. Doesn't mean you have to go straight into IVF,
so don't be scared of that. But I would suggest
getting the test done because again, there could be things
that you could do to help it along and just
feel like you're doing something. So I also would recommend that.
(36:16):
But oh, my loves, I know it's such a tough
journey if you're going through it, I just I am
sending you so much love, it's a wild time, but
also like having the mindset it's not if it will happen,
it's when it will happen, and really like surrendering to
if it's on your heart, if it's what your desire,
it is on its way, it is going to happen,
(36:39):
But don't put off your life and keep filling up
your cup, keep filling up you because you don't want
to look back and like regret focusing on it so
much or kind of missing out on life. And that's
honestly how it kind of felt with our first trying
to conceive journey. So that would be my advice. I
hope you liked this episode. Like I said, I will
(37:00):
have a second episode like a pregnancy Q and a
more of like an update how I'm going now. I
do have a couple of complications with this pregnancy, which
has been interesting. I only kind of just found out
about them. But thank you for listening. Also, if you
do know someone going through a trying to conceive journey,
send this episode to them. I'm sure it's going to
really help. If you want the meditations that I'm talking
(37:23):
about in the voice recordings we have trying to conceive
meditations on the Rise app, and we do have a
free month for people who aren't members, so come, I'll
put a link in the show notes you can join
the Rise app and listen to those very helpful to
(37:43):
kind of just get in that zone of receiving, of
distressing your body, getting your body ready. So I love
you guys so much. All the links will be in
the show notes and I will chat to you in
the next episode. I
I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the
land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb
Merry people. They've been having conversations and telling stories on
this land for thousands of years, and we show our
gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture.
(00:25):
This is Rise and Conquer, the podcast where we strive
to become the highest version of ourselves through curious conversations,
healthy mindsets, laughter, connection, and a deep desire to evolve.
I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson. Join me as we explore parenthood, business, manifestation,
(00:51):
and so much more. It's positive, it's practical, and it's
about putting you in the driver's seat of your own life.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Hello, my loves, and welcome back to the podcast. It
is your host Georgie Stevenson, and today we have a
very vulnerable episode where I am opening up and chatting
to you guys about me and Tim's second trying to
Conceive IVF journey. So I am going to do two
(01:26):
podcasts and I'm going to do this podcast that's all
about like the trying to conceive the infertility, and then
I am going to do another podcast that is answering
your questions that will be more focused on the pregnancy.
So if you're listening to that and that one, the
(01:46):
second one isn't out yet, that one will be coming out,
And that's more kind of like answering questions at this
moment in time, twenty weeks pregnant, Whereas what you're about
to hear is literally live audio from our year long
trying to conceive journey. And I think it's really important
to open up and talk about this because when you
(02:08):
are trying to conceive, especially if you haven't told anyone
about it, it can feel very isolating, and especially if
you have friends and family around you who are getting
pregnant so easily, it can really be such a heavy
time emotionally. But it's also so normal, Like I've had
(02:31):
more than half of my girlfriends have experienced some form
of infertility, so it's so normal, but I think we
don't talk about it enough. So I just wanted to
open up the conversation and you'll hear in these clips
I'm going to go through. I started in January twenty
twenty four, and I just wanted to document myself and
(02:53):
my mental health because in our first trying to conceive journey.
I honestly struggled so much and it wasn't good, and
I really wanted this journey to be different. Look, it
still was tricky, and I say about to get into it.
We did end up having to do IVF, and we
had lots of issues with IVF, but look, I am
(03:15):
currently twenty weeks pregnant, so it all worked out, so
let's get straight into it. Also, this audio is from
a YouTube video, so I do have a YouTube video
if you prefer to watch this instead of listen, and
we will link it in the show notes. Yeah, I
really want you to hear the kind of like the
live documentation of it, because you can kind of feel
(03:38):
it in the energy. You can hear it in my
voice how I'm going. And I just want to normalize infertility.
I want to normalize, you know, trying to conceive journeys.
So let's get into it. My Loves January twenty twenty four,
twelve months before we found out pregnant. So Tim and
(04:03):
I are trying to type a baby. I thought I
would like record my thoughts, feelings, emotions, all the things
as we go on the journey.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Last time, it took us.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Over twelve months we had a miscarriage.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
It was so much heartache and so challenging.
Speaker 5 (04:27):
It was so hard, and I'm so determined for this
experience to be different from my mindset to be different,
so I'm going to document it.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
So this is the very first month. The way we're
going about it right now, I've always tracked my cycle
and we're just having a lot of fun, keeping things
super spicy.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Things are going to be different this time.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Previously it was very like I'm ovulating, let's have sex as.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Much just weak that, and it just did not make
for a great experience.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
You think it sounds fun until you've been doing it
for twelve months.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
And so for example, this month, something that's difference is
like sitting in this energy of like unbothered, undas I
know what I've won, I'm clear on what I want.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I know my body is meant to create. I know
the little beautiful soul is there and it's going to
come in, and that.
Speaker 6 (05:25):
Is the vibe.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
And I get to enjoy this journey and I have
this beautiful connection with my husband and this beautiful time
with Ivy, and that is what's going to be different
about this time around. And I'm sure there's going to
be emotions and highs and lows, but that's okay. The
end of January twenty twenty four, so I caught up
(05:46):
with my bestie and she's pregnant, and I really sat
in the feeling of festival, so happy for her because
previously she had to go through IVF and it was
natural and it was months two, So happy for her.
But I really sat on the energy of, like, if
she can do it naturally, so can I. And previously
(06:10):
when we're trying to conceive things like that, you know,
could have triggered me.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
But I am really sitting the.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Energy of like, if she can do it, I can
do it too, and like how magical. February twenty twenty four.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
Just got my parent feelings kind of neutral, not too worried.
I just did some journaling this morning where I did
the affirmations that my body is healed. My thyroid is healed,
so I.
Speaker 7 (06:42):
Have issues with that, and my body is the perfect
vessel for a baby to come through, and it is
coming through in present tense.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
March twenty twenty four, Month two obviously disappointed, sad, but
also I keep getting a vision of them, can see
their face.
Speaker 8 (07:09):
I can see the curls, I can see the personality.
Speaker 9 (07:13):
It just is like filling me up, and I'm like,
I know it's close.
Speaker 8 (07:17):
I know they're there. So it's like I don't have
to worry. They're they're they're coming. I just get to
trust and enjoy this process. It actually gets to be
so beautiful.
Speaker 9 (07:29):
It doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't have to
be difficult.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
The end of March twenty twenty four, gonna lie feeling
a little bit of sadness, like doubt, like is this
then to be?
Speaker 10 (07:44):
Especially because everyone around me is getting pregnant like everyone
and like very quickly, which I love and.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Adore, and it's so like expanding for me. But I've
been doing like a spirit baby meditation. She's being really beautiful.
I've been like walking in with the soul and I
just like I can feel them. I'm just like trusting this.
I've been like really connecting with the soul and they
need to come in at the perfect time. Like Ivy
(08:13):
felt like chaotic, she was like a well wind, She's
a sage. It makes sense, and this baby feels really
grounded and like really like I'm gonna come in at
the perfect time. I'm gonna be like the glue for family,
and I'm just trusting they know where to come in.
They know this season, they feel so like wise, and
I'm just really trusting and being present and having fun
(08:36):
and enjoying myself and it feels good.
Speaker 6 (08:40):
It feels good.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
April twenty twenty four, Let's just see.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
I don't think I am not to break me.
Speaker 10 (08:58):
I just wanted to check because I'm about to go.
And it's been a hot minute since I upticked.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
You guys, we kind of just like I wanted to
chill for a couple of months.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
I'm whispering because I just.
Speaker 10 (09:13):
I just wanted to chill for a couple of months.
And we went to Europe and it was amazing, and
it has felt really good to just surrender and lean back.
I'm really proud of myself for how I'm showing come
during this time.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
July twenty twenty four, it's literally my thirtieth birthday in
like two days on Saturday, and I'm just so excited
to be thirty and like call in this like new era,
this like softness, being a.
Speaker 11 (09:41):
Mom to two babies, maybe even three, and just like
such a new way of doing things surrendered, detached is flow.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
I know it's all on its way.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I just get to wait and I get to enjoy.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
When I'm waiting for it.
Speaker 12 (09:58):
At the end of July four just did another meditation
connecting to baby and saying how disappointed and upset I
was that they didn't come through this month, but also
(10:19):
how grateful.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I am and how excited I am, and how I
know it's all gonna happen in the perfect timing, and
also that it's okay, come through in the perfect timing,
and I'm trusting and I'm surrendering, and I can be disappointed, will.
Speaker 9 (10:34):
Also being so grateful for what's to come.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
And then I also tapped into like my higher self
when I'm about forty, I do this like timeline thing.
And the wisdom that came through was stay in the frequency,
stay in the vibe. You know what you want, Stay
in the frequency, and it's all coming to you, and surrender,
(11:00):
not trying to control, and it's going to happen in
the perfect timing, and it's got to be better than
you could have imagined. August twenty twenty four, It is
safe for me to be a mother of two. It
is safe for me to be a mother of two.
I welcome in my second baby August twenty twenty four,
(11:22):
So it has been about eight months of trying and
me and Tim made the decision. We're like, let's just
go get the tests the things you have to do,
the scans and whatnot. And so we went and saw
the doctor that we used last time to do aUI
because he was really good.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
We did aUI got ivied the first.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Time, and I UI is this like the basically the
same chances as getting pregnant as like doing it naturally.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
You just think turkey baseduff. So he scanned my.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Ovaries and for the day that I'm supposed to be
on my period, he said, my ovaries are showing polycystic.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
They're polycystic ovaries.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
So he said it is highly unlikely that I would
have a spontaneous pregnancy.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Weird language.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
He said, my lining is very thin and my ovaries
are polycystic, so they have like heaps of follicles but
not a dominant. So he said, probably over you know,
the last whatever months, you probably even though I'm getting
symptoms of ovulating, I'm probably not even releasing an egg
(12:36):
or if I am, the lining probably wouldn't be thick
enough to like catch.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
It interesting.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Look, and it's kind of the exact same things last time,
so I wasn't not expecting yet.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
But yeah, so that's the update. So I think we're
just gonna go straight into EUI because why not. Why
keep waiting? And it feels really good. I feel really excited.
So I just got a whole bunch of blood tests.
See how we go. Yeah, I don't know, I feel like,
feel really good. I feel really excited. It feels good
(13:16):
because I'm like, it makes sense. I'm not going quizy.
I'm not going to Lulu at.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
The end of August twenty twenty four jokes. So we
got some test results back and tim sperm is not at.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
A great point, and so basically.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
The doctor's like, with my ovary's and tim sperm quality,
IUY would not be possible.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
And we have to go straight to IVF. There's nothing
wrong with IVF. I have a lot of friends and
family who have done it again, all the work I
teach the how. It's not my responsibility.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
The end goal of the vision is beautiful, healthy baby.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
So I don't know, We're just gonna have We'll think
of that see how it sits.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
I go from there.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
September twenty twenty four, period is fifteen days late, not pregnant,
don't know what the fuck's going on.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Usually so regular, lots of fun.
Speaker 12 (14:33):
Going to get acupunta because you know what, whatever whatever.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
At the end of September twenty twenty four, I'm feeling
really frustrated because as soon as I got the Piers diagnosis.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Previous to that, my cycle was always on point.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I thought I was always ovulating mid cycle, and then
now it's like my brain knows, for example, this cycle
has been thirty eight days and that has like never
happened to me. So I'm feeling like a bit frustrated
because I'm like, has my cycle actually you know what
I mean? Like, have I cyched myself out with the
diagnosis and now my cycle's like playing up, But she's
(15:15):
still doing her spirit baby visualizations, doing my affirmations. Trusting
I've told the universe what I want, healthy baby, and
obviously if it's not happening this month, it's because that
wouldn't be the outcome. So I'm absolutely trusting everything is
going to plan, falling a place in the perfect timing
(15:38):
that is my lesson.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
That is all I have to do. I don't have
to worry about the how.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
So that is the vibe I just like I have
to remind myself of course I have human moments, but
also that's what we're here for. September twenty twenty four,
my period is twenty days late. Definitely not pregnant, but
ignore that. But this is the new vibe moving forward.
I've had the epiphanies, I've worked.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Through my shit.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
There was actually quite a few like things work I
had to do, which I can share at another time.
Basically like blocks, Like the work that I teach is
like manifesting, and when you can't get to something, it
is a block of like okay, so why do you
think you can't get there?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
And for me, it was a lot to do with I'm.
Speaker 9 (16:33):
Not healthy enough, you know, all the stuff of my thyroid.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Am I going to be able to have enough time
for the next baby and continue to work.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
On my businesses? Honestly a lot of the same shit.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
I had with IVY and I didn't even realize, but
I had to like work through that. So I've been
doing that the last couple of weeks and just being
like really.
Speaker 9 (16:59):
Honest with my like if I was giving a.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Baby right now, what would my nervous system do, Like
why would I freak out?
Speaker 2 (17:08):
What would be like the very first thoughts and working
through that.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
So I've been doing that behind the scenes and I
can definitely share more of that work if you guys
want me to.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
But the next.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Stage of this is like I'm going to be sitting
in a new.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
State of de Lulu again. This is work I teach.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Where basically I'm going to be telling my subconscious brain
at any point I can that I am pregnant, that
my body can hold a pregnancy, that I am attracting
that sperm, that I have the most perfect uterus, that
I cannot wait to have this baby, that my work
(17:53):
is perfect to have another baby, that like all the circumstances,
I'm like, it's perfect to have a baby, and just
like absolutely like sitting in like I am pregnant, Like
I'm currently pregnant right now, Like I am pregnant, and
it's perfect. My body is perfect, the baby is perfect.
(18:14):
The sperm just got up there and it got into
the egg and it was perfect and it worked so
well because I have a perfect body for pro creating.
That's what my body was meant to do, and that's
what it did. It did, not what it's going to do.
It did anyway. So I'm gonna sit in this state of.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Delulu for the next couple of weeks. I am doing a.
Speaker 9 (18:40):
Meditation every morning and every night, and just like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Sitting a new state of Delulu.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
So the only thing with the state of Delulu again,
there can't be any of those like blocks they spoke
about previously.
Speaker 9 (18:53):
So you need to work through that first because otherwise,
if you.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Say I am pregnant, but then you've still got this
block of like, oh but it's going to fuck up
my career, your subconscious is not actually gonna believe it.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
So you have to do those block before. But this is, yeah,
I don't know. I feel different.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
And also I'm like no, like baby, baby's so close,
baby's here, Like I'm breagnant, Like this is I've jumped
onto the new timeline like it's happening and not like
let's see how it goes like it's happening.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
It's done. It's done.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
October twenty twenty four, so we're going straight to IVF
And I got my bods this morning. I got my medication,
but I feel so emotional because.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I just feel like a bit of.
Speaker 9 (19:50):
A pity party moment.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I am also my apperiens sence, but you know, just
like the thoughts like I thought this time was gonna
be different, like why does it have to be such
a process, And so you see other people who just
like instantly get pregnant, and you're just like, but also.
Speaker 6 (20:21):
I know.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I just on the phone to.
Speaker 13 (20:24):
Tim having a good crime to him and he's like,
bab if this is our, if this is the thing
in life that we need to struggle with, it's okay.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
We can do it together.
Speaker 9 (20:37):
There's solutions, like it's gonna be okay.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
And I'm no, He's so good at making me realize that,
and it's like, again, we all have shit we deal.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
With in life. This is ours and it's okay. And
I like, you guys know, like I am.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Throughout this whole journey, I have been trying to be
so positive, but also I am human and I have
human emotions or I'm just like I don't know, I
just have like weird feelings, and I'm like, is this
the right thing to do?
Speaker 9 (21:10):
Should we just.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Like wait longer? I just I feel a bit like
conflicted about it.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I think I also feel like quite overwhelmed because it's
literally like this cycle, it could all happen, and it's like,
I don't know, I just feeling all the feels about it.
But I'm gonna go do my visualization. I've been doing
my visualization like hypnosis thing I read myself every morning
(21:41):
and night and it just puts me in like the
best vibe.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
So I'm gonna go do that.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
The end of October twenty twenty four. So in the
next couple of days, we are doing our egg retrieval,
which is very exciting. We did have some issues with
my bloods all.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
It looks like.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I was going to ovulate naturally, so he had to
do some extra injections. But I got my results back
from my doctor and he said it looks good for
egg retrieval, so we're very excited. I'm definitely feeling like
just a bit bloated, but I keep affirming these you know,
(22:21):
I'll do whatever I need to do for baby, always
happy to do it. And this is like me being
this is us being one step closer to baby. So
feeling really good, feeling really positive, putting all the positive
vibes out there, and no baby's.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Coming so soon.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
November twenty twenty four, No, not pregnant, even though I
feel so bloaded. So we basically got too many eggs.
I had twenty four eggs, twenty were able to be
like actually used, and then thirteen have been fertilized. So
(23:04):
we have thirteen little babies, thirteen little Tim and Georgy's.
But because there was so many eggs, their wonder might
be hyper stimulated, so we can't do a fresh transfer.
They're going to get frozen and we're going to try
next month. So like super disappointing.
Speaker 9 (23:23):
I also feel you can see the bruiser.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
I also feel like quite sick, just so bloated and
like a bit constipated and just like not great. But luckily,
because we have so many little babies, I won't ever
have to do those injections or that procedure probably again,
(23:46):
like I would hope.
Speaker 14 (23:48):
So yeah, now we're just waiting for my period, waiting
another month.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Tim's response was, of course, we have to wait another month,
like of course, but we're not doing that.
Speaker 9 (24:01):
We're not in victim mentality.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
So anyway, really exciting you're gonna have at the end
of November twenty twenty four. Today was supposed to be
our embryo transfer, and twenty minutes before I was supposed
to be at the doctors, my doctor called and said,
come to his office, not like the vitilia office. And
(24:27):
basically he said, you know, there's a ten percent chance
that you thow out the embryo and it doesn't survive.
It does happen. And he said, we thought out like
the first one and it didn't survive. So we thought
out a second one and it didn't survive. And then
he's like, so we thought out our third one and
it didn't survive. And he said, it's just not normal.
(24:51):
He actually said, never in his career has that happened.
And so they looked further into it, and there scientists,
like the fucking IVS scientists after our eggs. He didn't like,
I don't know if it's seemed they didn't put a
(25:12):
certain solution on it. So when they froze the eggs,
like basically they cooked it and none of them are
viable because I'm just like human error. My doctor said, like,
never in his career has this happened. Were patient, and
(25:34):
he just feels so devastated for us because he's like,
I just like this is it's happened. Oh so anyway,
(26:01):
he said, like the fucking director signist director will be
like calling us to like let us know what the
fuck happened, and like, obviously we're gonna get compensated for
this cycle and stuff. And is that really good feeling
that I really wanted it that happened. And then it
(26:21):
was like I don't have to go through those like
injections again because it made me so seeck and so on.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Well, and now I have to go through the whole
fucking thing again.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
We had eight embryos. It's so many.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Oh fuck.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
We're also going away soon, so I don't even know
if we can do it next cycle.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
So that's the.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Update December twenty twenty four. You know what no one
tells you, the IVF bloat. I'm not pregnant, definitely.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
We just did.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Our egg retrieval and I have been like, that's like hard.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
I looked like this one.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
I was six month six months pregnant, and it's been
like this for almost a week. I did have hyperstimulation,
but like I had to go to work today and
literally say to the girls, oh, I'm just really bloated
like that.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
I'm not even.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Joking, guys, Like no one talks about this. As you
can see, it was an emotional rollercoaster. So the last
video that I actually didn't film, but after my second transfer,
my second an egg retrieval, after the IVF scientists basically
(28:04):
killed our fertilized eggs, I went through an egg retrieval
and then what's wild is we got seventeen eggs and
my bloods did indicate I was like quite high on
my estrogen. So when I was at the egg retrieval,
like after when you wake up from the gas, my
(28:26):
doctor said, it looks like you're, you know, quite overstimulated,
which happened the first time, which is why they had
to freeze the eggs and I couldn't get a fresh transfer,
and so he said, it looks like it's happened again,
so most likely you'll have to do a frozen transfer
in a month. And that was literally December, and I
(28:50):
worked it out and it's like it would have been
around Christmas time, which my fertility clinic was shut, and
I just.
Speaker 14 (28:58):
Like spiraled and I was so upset because I was
like no, I thought, like I thought would have a
bait like I thought we'd be pregnant this year, and
so I actually posted on social.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Media and it was kind of one of those moments
where I just became so detached and I was like,
I just can't carry this heaviness anymore, because it felt
really heavy. I show up on social media, on podcasts,
on YouTube's monthly, daily, weekly, and so to carry that
(29:31):
sort of like burden and heaviness, and you guys not
know emotionally what I was going through was honestly really
hard for the whole year of twenty twenty four. So
when my doctor said that, I literally went home and
I created that video and I'll put a link in
the show notes and posted it, and it made me
(29:53):
feel so much better because I just felt lighter. I
felt detached, and I was like, you know what, fuck it,
it's not my year, it's not meant to be. I'm
not gonna hold it in anymore. And I did find
it so freeing. I do recommend if you feel ready
for it, if you're going through trying to conceive journey,
to open up about it and to talk to the
(30:14):
people you feel safe about and the people you love.
I personally have so much love for my community. I
feel so safe in my community. So when I opened
up about it, I honestly felt so held and seen
and supported by you guys, and I felt so much better,
and I just felt like free, Like it was freeing
to finally talk about it, and what is crazy? I
(30:38):
literally posted that and then it was a day later
my doctor called and he was like, because there is
like a rule with IVF that it's like if you
have fifteen to seventeen eggs, anything past that, you're generally
you have to go straight to frozen.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
You can't do fresh.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
And if you're like estrogen levels too high, and he's like, look,
you're right on the casp, but because of what happened
with your other egg retrieval, like.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
I feel so bad.
Speaker 6 (31:08):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
And then I forgot to say he's retiring. So this
is like my doctor's last month, which means not only
will I miss the next cycle because it's Christmas, I
have to start with a whole new doctor in the
new year. And that's why I was like so devastated
and so disappointed. It just felt like such like a
lot of blows.
Speaker 6 (31:29):
And so.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
He was like, look, your bloods aren't optimal, and you're
right on the casp, but I'm so sorry for what
you have been through.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
If you want to.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Do the fresh transfer, we will do it. I personally
think it might be a waste of a fertilized egg.
And I had eight We had sorry, eight fertilized eggs.
And I spoke to Tim about it and he's like,
let's just do it, Like we have eight eggs, Like
let's just do it, and like we'll see what happened.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
And so, no joke.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
I did my transfer five days later because they're five
day old eggs. They let them like cook for five days,
had eight eggs, did a fresh transfer, froze the rest,
and we literally got pregnant. That transfer, the one they
(32:23):
weren't gonna do, the one they said will probably be
a waste. And so it was wild because I just
posted on social media about infertility and then I got pregnant,
and I was like, oh my god, this is crazy.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
But like so divine all meant to happen.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
But that's my world infertility story, and yeah, just sharing
it with you guys, being very raw and honest, wild times.
But look, yeah, if you have any questions, put them below.
I'm happy to share. Like I said, when I went
through my first experience, I wish more people had spoken
(33:04):
about it. And then when I shared it with you
guys last year, I just felt like a weight has lifted.
So I want to have this sort of content out
in the Internet for people to like listen and here
you can tell where the videos on, like emotions wild,
but I'm being very vulnerable and being very open.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I hope you can respect that.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
And obviously, look, we're still it's still early days.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
But I'm just so happy to be pregnant.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
And as much as if it was like a journey,
of course, I wouldn't change a thing, and your challenges
shape you. What you go through shapes you. And last
year was honestly the toughest year. It was like one
of the toughest years of my life for so many
other reasons.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
But we got there. We've got this sweet little baby.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
We don't know the gender yet, so yeah, so, as
you heard, guys, that was an absolute well wind. I
just wanted to really open up and share and be
really honest about it all because I know so many
people go through and I think people think, oh, you
just get pregnant and that's it, and it's just not
the case for some people. And also my advice to
(34:07):
people who are trying to conceive would be, and I
know this is so hard and it's so counterintuitive, but
you need to fill up your life during this period
so it doesn't consume you. And our first trying to
conceive journey with IV consumed me for twelve months, like
(34:29):
I really didn't kind of think of anything else. I
was like crying every month I wasn't pregnant, because what
you focus on expands. So if you're focusing on I'm
not pregnant, negative pregnancy tests, like this isn't happening for me,
that's what is going to continue. That's what's going to expand.
And so something that really helped me in my second
(34:49):
trying to conceive journey was really filling up my life.
So obviously I have a very full on work schedule,
so that helps very helpful to have a really made
sure I was like seeing friends. Last year twenty twenty
four was actually the year we traveled the most. We
went to Europe, we did certain things, and I think
(35:11):
a big thing is when you're trying to conceive, you
kind of put off your life you're like, oh, well,
you know, I'm going through IBF. I'm going through this,
so it's like I can't do this. I can't do that,
And I would honestly just suggest like, don't do that.
Do life, fill up your cup, focus on you, focus
on other things. While also obviously you do have to
(35:32):
eat well, eat for your hormones. I would also recommend
after six months, just going to a fertility doctor and
getting all the tests done because a lot of the
time it's not even you, it could be your partner sperm.
It could be you know, like I got diagnosed with PSOs,
so I had to change my diet and lifestyle. So
(35:53):
it's like there's no point of like continuing in fertility
for over a year where you could be helping it
with supplementation. Doesn't mean you have to go straight into IVF,
so don't be scared of that. But I would suggest
getting the test done because again, there could be things
that you could do to help it along and just
feel like you're doing something. So I also would recommend that.
(36:16):
But oh, my loves, I know it's such a tough
journey if you're going through it, I just I am
sending you so much love, it's a wild time, but
also like having the mindset it's not if it will happen,
it's when it will happen, and really like surrendering to
if it's on your heart, if it's what your desire,
it is on its way, it is going to happen,
(36:39):
But don't put off your life and keep filling up
your cup, keep filling up you because you don't want
to look back and like regret focusing on it so
much or kind of missing out on life. And that's
honestly how it kind of felt with our first trying
to conceive journey. So that would be my advice. I
hope you liked this episode. Like I said, I will
(37:00):
have a second episode like a pregnancy Q and a
more of like an update how I'm going now. I
do have a couple of complications with this pregnancy, which
has been interesting. I only kind of just found out
about them. But thank you for listening. Also, if you
do know someone going through a trying to conceive journey,
send this episode to them. I'm sure it's going to
really help. If you want the meditations that I'm talking
(37:23):
about in the voice recordings we have trying to conceive
meditations on the Rise app, and we do have a
free month for people who aren't members, so come, I'll
put a link in the show notes you can join
the Rise app and listen to those very helpful to
(37:43):
kind of just get in that zone of receiving, of
distressing your body, getting your body ready. So I love
you guys so much. All the links will be in
the show notes and I will chat to you in
the next episode. I
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com