Introducing: I Never Told You This - Mary and Martha Kalifatidis

Hey Spillers, here's a new show we thought you'd like - I Never Told You This: Two People. One big reveal. A simple card deck with questions. Some are light hearted, some deeper…and one that says ‘I Never Told You This’ - the chance for one person to share something they’ve never told the other before.

In the first episode, Mary and Martha Kalifatidis chat about their all-too-relatable experience of protectiveness and anxiety as parents.

If you want to continue to enjoy this series, it will be dropping every Thursday over at the But Are You Happy podcast.

Head to Medibank to learn more about the Family Roast card game that sparked the conversation.

The experiences shared and views expressed are those of the people featured and do not reflect the views of Medibank. This is not health advice. If you or someone you know needs help, you should always consult a trusted health professional. For further support and guidance, visit Medibank Mental Health. Or, if in need of immediate support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribe

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:11):
So much you're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and borders
that this podcast is recorded on Hi Spillers, just popping
into your ears with a special treat for the weekend.
So we're bringing you a new recommendation for a brand
new podcast that I think you'll love called I Never
Told You This Now. This is a podcast all about
connection and how to have more honest relationships. And Mama

(00:37):
Mia has made this title because we hope to spark honest,
meaningful conversations and support better mental well being. We hope
you enjoy this episode and if you want to continue
to listen to this series, it will be dropping every
Thursday over in the but Are You Happy? Podcast feed,
we'll pop the links to but Are You Happy? In
the show notes, I have anxiety myself.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
I don't even know what to do with it. Do
you know how to deal with it? I feel like
we don't really know how to deal with it. We
just kind of get up and just seize the day.
It doesn't matter how you're feeling. Soldier on two People.

Speaker 4 (01:08):
One big reveal, I Never told you A simple card
game where one question could change everything.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
It starts like, what's more things I'm not going to
answer that.

Speaker 4 (01:18):
Then comes the moment that could shift a relationship forever.
As they finished this sentence, I never told you this.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
I've never told you. They never told you this.

Speaker 4 (01:29):
Today Reality TV influences mother and daughter duo Mary and
Martha Calipadidas will be sitting down together quite nervous.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
But I'm always nervous.

Speaker 4 (01:38):
Mary has something big to reveal to her daughter.

Speaker 5 (01:41):
I don't think she's expecting me to say what I'm
going to say.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Welcome, Martha.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Oh, thanks for having me Mary.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
This is a bit new for us.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
I know.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Welcome.

Speaker 5 (01:51):
So today we're going to play a little game with
the Medibank family roast cards.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Are you ready to play? Yes, let's get into this game.
I think we need a little game. So who picks?

Speaker 6 (02:01):
Here?

Speaker 1 (02:01):
You go for it? Oh? Are you ready? Oh?

Speaker 5 (02:05):
What is the most ridiculous fashion trend you ever followed?

Speaker 3 (02:09):
Those things Famy belts that were like a boob troop
and we'd wear them over the jeans. That has to
be one of the ugliest things I ever did. I'm
five foot two and that made me four foot two.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
I probably told you, but you wouldn't probably listen.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
Here we go. She had to throw that one in
my face and just saying, kid, just saying, all right,
so I'll pick a card. Oh, what is something I
do that grosses you out? I don't think you do
anything they do not. No, that's right, good answer, Mary?

Speaker 1 (02:37):
What about me?

Speaker 3 (02:39):
I don't because I can say so many things.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
I bring it to the table.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Cutting your cuticles, well, that's just like meditation. If you
go and get that done and then you like to
do more and just keep cutting the cuticles, it must
be a nervous It's definitely a nervous habit.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Okay, I'll take that, all right, you go next? Oh
is that me? Oh? What do you think your most
useless talent is? You got plenty of those.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
I don't think I've got any. I just there's no
timeless for uselessness in our family.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
I agree.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
What about how you can when you start singing every
single commercial song that's ever come on since like nineteen.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Eighty fifties from the Earth. I'm going to pick the
next card. I never told you this.

Speaker 5 (03:29):
When you went on reality TV, all these comments would
come in on social media. It actually affected me. But
I didn't want to show you that it was affecting me.
All these comments that were coming in and I'd be
staying up till three four in the morning, and I
didn't realize how toxic social media can be. I didn't

(03:52):
know as a parent how I can comfort you.

Speaker 3 (03:55):
No, I can totally understand how that would have affected you.
With the trolls on the internet, they think they know me,
but you really know me, and so you were reading
things that weren't true, and then that would be just
endless cycle.

Speaker 5 (04:08):
Now you're a parent, and I'm sure you would probably
do the.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
Same now that I'm a parent, I just want to
protect him from everything.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
I could only imagine.

Speaker 5 (04:17):
And that's why I didn't want to burden you with
I've got anxiety, I can't sleep, I was I had
shortness of breath, like I was.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
Thinking a mom, don't yeah, but that's how it was.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
I think to some degree, I did have some idea,
because you did start acting really strange. I definitely think
I know you were staying up really late looking at comments,
and I remember just being too like, don't worry about it, man,
like it's fine.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
But I think at the time.

Speaker 3 (04:45):
I didn't want to show you either that it was
affecting me, so I would just say oh to you,
like it doesn't matter, but really, like I would be
in my room staying up breathing the comments as well.
So I have anxiety myself. I don't even know what
to do with it. Do you know how to deal
with it? I feel like we don't really know how to.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
Deal with it.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
We just kind of move on with the day and
just keep the day going. But it doesn't mean that
the anxiety goes.

Speaker 6 (05:04):
Away the rest of this episode of I never told
you this right after the break.

Speaker 5 (05:17):
Thinking back, I should have just been more open and
told you, like, you know what, it's normal to feel
this way because I'm feeling this way.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
Yeah, I think if this had done that, we probably
would have been able to, you know, commune and pack
it and then just deal with it in the open
instead of dealing with it separately in.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
Our different rooms. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
But that's very That's very much what our family does,
though we're not very good at revealing, which is strange
because we're so open, that's about everything about movements and everything,
because we've brought up to be like quite hard and
like strong and tarody.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
No, you can't get over it.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
Get up and just seize the day. It doesn't matter
how you're feeling.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Soldier on.

Speaker 5 (05:56):
When I was growing up, our parents were very strict.
They never showed emotion. They never you know, I.

Speaker 3 (06:02):
Just find that hard to believe.

Speaker 6 (06:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:03):
Yeah, is like the most softest, sweetest, gentlest, emotional, loving caring.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
It wasn't when we were growing up. I just find
it hard to believe she was strict. Get up old age.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
It really softens you.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
It breaks you down.

Speaker 5 (06:23):
With like searching and being like my own little detective.
I noticed that a lot of these comments weren't coming
from young kids that were just being mean.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
These were from parents that had kids.

Speaker 5 (06:35):
How could you try and destroy someone else's child. People
want kids to be kind, but they don't teach them
the tools to be kind and not to bring other
people down, you know, like kids are mean today.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
I hate that I was to learn that from somewhere.

Speaker 5 (06:51):
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. The parents are the
ones that need to actually change.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
I kind of feel a bit sad for you in
a way that you kind of dealt with that on
your own.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
That's what parents do, you know.

Speaker 5 (07:03):
They try to protect. I think their kids as much
as they can.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
You know.

Speaker 5 (07:10):
You're son was dealing with anxiety. How would you help him?

Speaker 1 (07:15):
Growing up?

Speaker 3 (07:15):
You always said those that matter don't mind, and those
that mind don't matter. It doesn't really matter because who
are these people to you? As long as like you know, you,
your friends, your family, the people that you care about,
the opinions of others don't really matter.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
That's good. At least you've got something those years. Yeah,
it's not easy being a parent.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
It's so not It's the hardest thing ever. It's so
not easy being a parent. I appreciate it. Oh, thank you, Mary.
No worries anytime. Yeah, and it's nice to know that
you're human under all that. Yeah, it's nice to know
that under all there there is actually some flesh and blood.
Well done, fish pump.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Oh is that something we do still?

Speaker 6 (08:08):
This episode was brought to you by Medibank. Live Better
with Medibank. If this conversation brought up any strong feelings
for you, don't forget There is help out there. Please
see show notes for resources