November 3, 2025 • 5 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
My Heart podcasts, hear more kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the Free I.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Had you had a couple's massage? Yes, how'd you go?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Not good? Yeah? All right? Well, going to warn me
about that.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You knew I was going away for a couple's massage
on the weekend Sim's birthday.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
You were very excited about it. Who am I to
put a hole in your sale?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I was like, no, no, no, it actually sounds amazing
what you organized.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
A friend, that's what you are, and I think that's
what friends are. Four sometimes you can they're the people
you rely on to put holes.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
In your sales.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
But you came to me after you'd booked it, like
you were already telling me about all your plans, and
I was like, for a refund?
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Well I did? I did tweak on in a separate room.
I tweaked your Ah. Yeah, no, I definitely should have
said things. I definitely should have said things.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
The same room's tough, isn't it, because you're hearing all
the conversations and you're hearing definitely, so I didn't go
well for you.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
It was Sam's birthday on the weekend. We'd have for
lunch with this lovely lunch at ten minutes by Trektor
on the Victorian. Intiful. Anyway, she's pregnant, so she drove.
I had a few wines.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Beautiful.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
It was great that I had to organize all of
this on my own, so without SAMs, I couldn't really confer. So,
you know, they were asking me just just you have
a preference in terms of messus. I said, she wants
a female Messus, and they said, do you have a preference,
And I said I would also like a female Messus,
which was a bit strange.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
That's I kind of whispered into the phone, and I'm
not sure why.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I don't like it when they ask you, I was
just like, I obviously want a woman. Yeah obviously, Yeah,
what's not obvious. I don't think it's obvious why it's
okay to have that preference. We don't why.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Or thank you? Okay. So anyway, so I got there
for Steve know and everyone Steve Steve, Steve's available all day.
He is deep in a game of Solitaire in his computer.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
So anyway, I got in there, and so we have
these two lovely women. The first thing was so yes,
I had had a few wines, but Also I was
very sore and I don't know if you can get massages,
so on the sheet they were like what sore? And
I was like my shoulders, my lower neck, my lower back,
my hamstrings, my glutes, and my calves.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Yeah yeah, and she should have said all of them.
And she was like yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
And then already we're on the wrong foot because she
was like, is there anything you don't want?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Will? And I was like, all right, here we go.
The massu said that or said that, and all of
a sudden I wanted Steve, you know, like yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
So there was attitude. And then she waved these smells
in my face. To know which oil I wanted, I
had to have my eyes closed and wearing so I'm
wearing the speed I'm wearing, just wearing my speedoes because
I wanted to go on the pools afterwards. Good I
had a private pool, so but I was just a
aspeedos and she was like oh. So she waved these
oils under my face and she said which one do
you like? And I said, can I smell them again?
(02:48):
Because I've forgotten and you didn't give them a name
because she was like, you just meant to go, you
know where, your heart leads you. And I was like, yeah,
but I'd like to know what they do. And she
was like no, just what And I was like, I
can't remember which one, so I'll just go I'll just
go number two, you know. So yeah, so I ended
up going, no, going number two. You don't even know
what that was already, it's just not going well. Yeah,
(03:09):
and then she's like, oh, just in your baths and
I was like, yeah, well, how would you like me?
That's a weird question to ask, but she said how
would you like it? She said, We'll give you some
disposable underwear.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
The net the netting mate, Yeah, no, no, that is and.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It's just not why did a whole new definition to
the term budget smuggler?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Like those things are intense.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
And then Sem and I they leave the room, so
Sem and I get changed into them, you know, by ourselves,
and Sam's just absolutely.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Losing it because she's like, you look ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I don't want I don't want anything to do with
this is why I don't do massages.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
This is so this is humiliating. Are you talking about
the it's like hairnet material?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah awful, And it's kind
of seen through as well.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Yes, it feels a bit strange.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I was like, why couldn't why don't you let me
leave my speedos on?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
No, I was like I was in I was in bathers.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Yeah, and I wonder why?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
And then and then I mean that what they do
is they tuck the tail underneath you, and jeez, they tucked.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
The towel underneath you. I just didn't. I just I
don't know. I just I realized I didn't like it.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
The final bit for me was this, like at the end,
I just like, you know, like they should also.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Say to you beforehand, before you're getting.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Your massage, like, hey, are you coming in here for
like a clinical massage where you got sour stuff? Or
do you want to like do you want to feel
like you're on a retreat in the seventies in Wisconsin?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Like is this a hippie?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Like are you looking for spiritual enlightening along with your massage?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
I wasn't sure, but they were forcing the spiritual enlightenment
on you, do you think yes?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
And then at the end they were standing in front
of us and she was like breathe in together and
then exhale for rejuvenation.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
So we both do that, laughing already.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Of already, and then she goes and inhale again, and
then she was like an exhale for.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Life, and we were like.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Oh and then and then the final one was inhale
together and she goes and our exhale for inspiration, and
I was, mate, I'm wearing a hairnet for chocks, steering
into a forty five year old woman's crutch.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I am not inspired, Steve. I'll have you next time, mate,
My Heart podcasts, hear more kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the Free I.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Had you had a couple's massage? Yes, how'd you go?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Not good? Yeah? All right? Well, going to warn me
about that.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You knew I was going away for a couple's massage
on the weekend Sim's birthday.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
You were very excited about it. Who am I to
put a hole in your sale?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I was like, no, no, no, it actually sounds amazing
what you organized.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
A friend, that's what you are, and I think that's
what friends are. Four sometimes you can they're the people
you rely on to put holes.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
In your sales.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
But you came to me after you'd booked it, like
you were already telling me about all your plans, and
I was like, for a refund?
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Well I did? I did tweak on in a separate room.
I tweaked your Ah. Yeah, no, I definitely should have
said things. I definitely should have said things.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
The same room's tough, isn't it, because you're hearing all
the conversations and you're hearing definitely, so I didn't go
well for you.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
It was Sam's birthday on the weekend. We'd have for
lunch with this lovely lunch at ten minutes by Trektor
on the Victorian. Intiful. Anyway, she's pregnant, so she drove.
I had a few wines.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Beautiful.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
It was great that I had to organize all of
this on my own, so without SAMs, I couldn't really confer. So,
you know, they were asking me just just you have
a preference in terms of messus. I said, she wants
a female Messus, and they said, do you have a preference,
And I said I would also like a female Messus,
which was a bit strange.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
That's I kind of whispered into the phone, and I'm
not sure why.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I don't like it when they ask you, I was
just like, I obviously want a woman. Yeah obviously, Yeah,
what's not obvious. I don't think it's obvious why it's
okay to have that preference. We don't why.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Or thank you? Okay. So anyway, so I got there
for Steve know and everyone Steve Steve, Steve's available all day.
He is deep in a game of Solitaire in his computer.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
So anyway, I got in there, and so we have
these two lovely women. The first thing was so yes,
I had had a few wines, but Also I was
very sore and I don't know if you can get massages,
so on the sheet they were like what sore? And
I was like my shoulders, my lower neck, my lower back,
my hamstrings, my glutes, and my calves.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Yeah yeah, and she should have said all of them.
And she was like yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
And then already we're on the wrong foot because she
was like, is there anything you don't want?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Will? And I was like, all right, here we go.
The massu said that or said that, and all of
a sudden I wanted Steve, you know, like yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
So there was attitude. And then she waved these smells
in my face. To know which oil I wanted, I
had to have my eyes closed and wearing so I'm
wearing the speed I'm wearing, just wearing my speedoes because
I wanted to go on the pools afterwards. Good I
had a private pool, so but I was just a
aspeedos and she was like oh. So she waved these
oils under my face and she said which one do
you like? And I said, can I smell them again?
(02:48):
Because I've forgotten and you didn't give them a name
because she was like, you just meant to go, you
know where, your heart leads you. And I was like, yeah,
but I'd like to know what they do. And she
was like no, just what And I was like, I
can't remember which one, so I'll just go I'll just
go number two, you know. So yeah, so I ended
up going, no, going number two. You don't even know
what that was already, it's just not going well. Yeah,
(03:09):
and then she's like, oh, just in your baths and
I was like, yeah, well, how would you like me?
That's a weird question to ask, but she said how
would you like it? She said, We'll give you some
disposable underwear.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
The net the netting mate, Yeah, no, no, that is and.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It's just not why did a whole new definition to
the term budget smuggler?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Like those things are intense.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
And then Sem and I they leave the room, so
Sem and I get changed into them, you know, by ourselves,
and Sam's just absolutely.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Losing it because she's like, you look ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I don't want I don't want anything to do with
this is why I don't do massages.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
This is so this is humiliating. Are you talking about
the it's like hairnet material?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah awful, And it's kind
of seen through as well.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Yes, it feels a bit strange.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I was like, why couldn't why don't you let me
leave my speedos on?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
No, I was like I was in I was in bathers.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Yeah, and I wonder why?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
And then and then I mean that what they do
is they tuck the tail underneath you, and jeez, they tucked.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
The towel underneath you. I just didn't. I just I
don't know. I just I realized I didn't like it.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
The final bit for me was this, like at the end,
I just like, you know, like they should also.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Say to you beforehand, before you're getting.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Your massage, like, hey, are you coming in here for
like a clinical massage where you got sour stuff? Or
do you want to like do you want to feel
like you're on a retreat in the seventies in Wisconsin?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Like is this a hippie?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Like are you looking for spiritual enlightening along with your massage?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
I wasn't sure, but they were forcing the spiritual enlightenment
on you, do you think yes?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
And then at the end they were standing in front
of us and she was like breathe in together and
then exhale for rejuvenation.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
So we both do that, laughing already.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Of already, and then she goes and inhale again, and
then she was like an exhale for.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Life, and we were like.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Oh and then and then the final one was inhale
together and she goes and our exhale for inspiration, and
I was, mate, I'm wearing a hairnet for chocks, steering
into a forty five year old woman's crutch.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I am not inspired, Steve. I'll have you next time, mate,
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