March 6, 2024 • 42 mins
- Tom Cashman pranks Mitch Churi
- Vulnerable Vednesdays
- What You Know, Not Who You Know
- Sleeping In Different Beds
- Norway Sniff Sticks
- Tallest Tales
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
We've got a guest in the studio in Todd Cash.
Fornjoins as welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
What's going on. My name is Tom.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
It's great to have you here, Tom, great to have
you here.
Speaker 4 (00:14):
It's good to be here being Tom.
Speaker 5 (00:16):
He's alerding to an idea we've got and I'm actually
very very excited about it. But before we get to
the big idea about you not being Tom stand up special,
you're doing one.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
That's it. It's out. It's out a week ago.
Speaker 6 (00:28):
It's called Pests and it's free on YouTube for anyone
to watch. It kind of takes the audience through a
beautiful series of jokes, but also the landlord reference kind
of media Yes, yes, yes, but this is finally now
my perspective on what was a media storm which ended
up with like politicians in the Act Parliament arguing about
whether I was trying to be funny or not.
Speaker 7 (00:46):
Basically, really, yeah, so you.
Speaker 6 (00:48):
Asked for a reference for a landlord. I asked my perspective,
landlord that approved me. They wanted me in there desperately.
I said, hey, wait a second, could you please get
a referen I've given me three references from my existing.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Landlord, from my employer from a.
Speaker 7 (01:01):
Friend of mine.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I don't know why you need to know that I'm
a good friend.
Speaker 6 (01:04):
Yeah yeah, could you please get a reference from one
of your tenants to prove you're a good landlord?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
And they said no, and also you're you're out.
Speaker 6 (01:11):
We don't want to approve you anymore. Then subsequently, two
weeks later, another unrelated landlord approved me.
Speaker 7 (01:17):
Found out I was that guy that was the most.
Speaker 6 (01:19):
Annoying tend to live from the news also canceled my approval.
Really and this was covered in media, including in this
beautiful program.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
I don't know if this gives away too much from
people watching the special, but what was the what's the
resolution here?
Speaker 7 (01:33):
I mean, yes it does.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Sorry, yeah right, no, no, I mean yeah.
Speaker 6 (01:36):
The resolution I think is that absolutely no change has
been made because no one in Australia will ever fix
this problem and it's an ongoing problem.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
The power.
Speaker 6 (01:44):
I think this was a symptom, one of many symptoms,
but a very specific symptom that I kind of went
through of the power and balance that exists between landlords
and tenants and asking for references. It is certainly not
going to fix that, but god, it was a good
example of it if you even asked for.
Speaker 7 (01:56):
A MEAs leading.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Yeah, they couldn't even believe it. And even the real
estate the head of the real estate institute, who who
represents real estate agents, set on record, I think accidentally
that what I had proposed was actually.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Pretty reasonable, and even then gone, wow, So there's no
hope none that I discovered.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
But also I'm a comedian, so it's also not completely
do you.
Speaker 8 (02:20):
Find that hard?
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Like I mean in general, I mean, obviously this has
been magnified on a much larger scale where they're kind
of in parliament going is he being a dickhead? I mean,
that's why it's called a show, is called pests I
imagine it was? Or is he actually genuinely like, I
don't know, are you in a relationship? Is that something
that's like constantly indue for you in your everyday life?
Speaker 6 (02:37):
No, being argued about whether being a hero or an
idiot is not an issue in my life.
Speaker 7 (02:43):
And I'm single.
Speaker 6 (02:45):
I wonder what they were One politician was saying, literally said,
there's a quote in the show this will lead us
into utopia, just like no, it has the potential to
lead us into utopia, making it a law that you're
gonna ask landlords for references.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I'm watching.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
It was my idea, I'm easy, folks, let's not get
too great away. But then another guy was being like,
it comes from TikTok. This guy is an idiot. He
was just true for the last one, but go easy mane.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I looked him up.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
He has a TikTok hypocrite, so like, yeah, it got interesting. Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Do you know who I looked at recently?
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Tom Cashman, a guy who's currently touring in Australia called
Fred again. He makes this banger famous d J, you're
the wrong verse indu engineered, I mean again. He's probably
the most famous music producer in the world at the moment.
He was in Australia for something else and then pretty
much just announced, Hey, I'm doing ten shows in Sydney
and Melbourne and sold them all out with him about
(03:39):
five minutes.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
He is, he's a phenomenon.
Speaker 7 (03:42):
At the moment, I preferred for the first time, Oh
very good.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I don't think.
Speaker 8 (03:48):
Come.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
I love that like cool Australia, cool music, cool kind
of particularly guys like the Here guys. They were like
twenty years ago. They were playing guitar guitars and now
they're going.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
The coolest thing.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
It is as cool as well, that is, that's going
to be you. Because I had never seen Fred again.
I saw a picture and I was like, that's Tom Cashman,
straight up, Tom Cashman.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Look at it. I've got a photo in front of you.
Speaker 6 (04:17):
Goodness gracious, Okay, that's a mirror, right, I mean, I'm
loving this.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I'm just nodding along.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
Yeah, yeah, okay, you're you're a poor man's fread again.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
You're I read the first time.
Speaker 7 (04:33):
Come on, lucky guys.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
But the amazing news is because we knew you looked
like Fred Again, we have organized you to have an
interview with Mitchchury, who does.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Nights here at this station.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
Okay, he is currently standing by thinking that he is
about to interview. Yes, this DJ Sensation fread again. So
I'm just gonna I'm cooling you up slightly, if that's okay.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I've got to get you needed it.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Not that not that you needed any huge cool up.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Oh you're putting a different clothes on me, just a
baggy jumper. I was actually.
Speaker 7 (05:04):
Impressed with the shirt that I wore.
Speaker 8 (05:05):
But that's fine.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
This this is okay, this.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Is a really tough he's kind of like a backhanded
compliment this whole thing, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Backhanding out?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Look, what do you know?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I think if you've been watching task Master, which I've
been watching religiously, mate, But well, congratulations, it's such a
great show.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Thank you. You can also go and see Tom's brand
new comedy special Pest. It's on YouTube. Or he's doing
a comedy show called Everything.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
But he's also touring the country selling out the Syney
Opera House and rob Laver Arena as Fred Again Wood
you and I think he's got a double ganger in
Fred Again.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Now that you're in here in person.
Speaker 6 (05:37):
I.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Still see. For the record, I still see.
Speaker 6 (05:42):
I've put a cool hat on and I've put a
jumper on and you're like, it does not suit this guy.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You never worn this in ever?
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Can I plucked us the accent?
Speaker 8 (05:49):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (05:49):
So you're from England?
Speaker 7 (05:50):
Okay, I'm from London.
Speaker 8 (05:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Nice, he's posh.
Speaker 7 (05:53):
It's absolutely fantastic to be here and I love.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
To dg this is Okay, that's exactly what it's going.
Speaker 7 (06:00):
To in this absent from no On.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Nice.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
Okay, So we have got Mitch Jury on standby. He
does a show on this station. Night's with Mitch.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Okay, we're going to bring a computer in, okay.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
Or you're going to be on Zoom with Mitch. Your
task yes, little task master reference there is to pull
off an interview as Fred again for five minutes.
Speaker 7 (06:20):
Five minutes. That is much longer than I thought it
was going to be, or.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
See as long as you can really I think five
minutes is I mean, that's how long you'd probably interview
him for. With these high profile junkets, they're normally a
five minute turnover.
Speaker 7 (06:32):
Five minutes is an extraordinary laugh period of time.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
We're going to duck out. Mitch is going to be
joining you.
Speaker 7 (06:38):
Live now, that's sure.
Speaker 8 (06:41):
Hello, buddy, how are you? Oh much so nice to
meet you.
Speaker 7 (06:44):
Yeah, gorgeous to meet you with two honest to god.
Speaker 8 (06:46):
A big fan of your work, A big fan of
your line bike riding. I saw in your instra story.
I'm like that. To film on a line bike and
to ride through Melbourne like one handed. That is skill.
Your brain works in mysterious ways.
Speaker 7 (06:57):
Zoom and then, but I'm zooming even more.
Speaker 8 (06:59):
Now he's got jokes you are, tell you what you're
funny you're handsome, You're talented, I mean you are Are
you single? I mean, I'm sure people would want to know.
Speaker 7 (07:08):
Oh I'm single for now, but you know who knows
what goes on on the tour?
Speaker 8 (07:11):
You know, yeah, that's exactly right.
Speaker 7 (07:13):
What the single match?
Speaker 8 (07:15):
Yeah, I'm in a weird situationship, fred what what weird situation?
One with someone and I just doesn't have a label yet,
but like we're basically.
Speaker 7 (07:23):
Together, so it's like, you're not together.
Speaker 8 (07:25):
Don't make this about me. God, you're good. The psychology of.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Freddie s sorry me just on a lot of these
and now you're a pro.
Speaker 8 (07:33):
Hey, it's such a pleasure to have you on the
show and to get you in here. You're a hard
man to get hold of. I think I just want
to start with the success that you have had. I mean,
now a Grammy winner, you sell out shows in literal seconds.
A couple of years ago, this is I'm not trying
to be rude here, I didn't know who fred again was.
Now I can't escape you. You were everywhere that must
(07:54):
be for like, you know, a thirty year old, he's
been doing this quite a while. A good spot to
being in your career.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
It's a fantastics what to be and can I say
a few years ago, I didn't know who you were either,
so it's even but no, absolutely, I was just making
songs in my basement on my computer, and I was
doing my best and to break out in the way
that I happened to be able to visit places like
Australia and put on shows like I can the Split
of an Arrow. It's absolutely fantastic.
Speaker 8 (08:19):
Is this a real accent?
Speaker 3 (08:20):
This?
Speaker 8 (08:21):
I feel like I'm on a sketch show. This is
a brilliant accents. What's the hybrid of where were you born?
Speaker 6 (08:26):
Well, I've been in Australia for about five days, so
I thought it would be right to kind of adjust
my accent in a little bit of an Australian way.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
So I'm putting one over on your humich.
Speaker 8 (08:34):
Are you actually putting on an as the acent?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah, I'm trying to. Is it not coming across?
Speaker 8 (08:37):
You're such a shit? I'm like we need to get
does anyone else smell burnt? Toes fre It's had a
stroke and then I'm going to be the one that
has caused his mental downfall. Do you think I'm dying
that I might someone get thread a glass of water.
The poor bastard needs an aspirin. Wait, give me a
normal voice, your silly bugger.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
No, no, I want to do it like this. I'm
enjoying Australia.
Speaker 8 (08:58):
Come on, and then now needs it needs to be
more nasally and it.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Needs tell me how to speak. I know how to speak.
Speaker 8 (09:06):
No, no, that's the eussy. Uh well, yeah, the success
is cool. Winning the Grammy was very exciting. A couple
of weeks ago, it's willing, it's willing Woody, and you're
not talking to Fred again.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
You're talking to Tom.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Cashman said that was probably the best.
Speaker 6 (09:25):
How long ago it's five?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
To be Fred again is such a fantastic feeling. And
he started talking about your relationship. The accent, the accent was.
Speaker 6 (09:49):
Too much, extremely open with your situation to a global superstar.
Speaker 8 (09:54):
The accent was the accent. I thought, God, this guy's
got a great sense of humor. It's so funny, it's
so good.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I think the last thing Job said was tell me how.
Speaker 8 (10:10):
It went with it. I'm like, he's so famous. I
give him what he wants.
Speaker 6 (10:14):
The only thing I planned was gorgeous to meet you.
And I think when I said gorgeous. It was it
was like gorgeous. I'm like, I'm it.
Speaker 8 (10:21):
I genuinely thought to myself, this looks like that guy
that sometimes sits on the left side of the project
that's general life.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Oh you are professional.
Speaker 8 (10:36):
I told my parents to listen to this. I was excited,
incredible And.
Speaker 9 (10:44):
What is.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Show?
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Every Wednesday we get a bit vulnerable in here.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
I've got the Dracula music there because it can be
a bit scary to be vulnerable, but it's also good
to mention. I think the idea of being vulnerable is
always scarier than actually doing it. Then if you are
comfortable being vulnerable, or you do it, you the relief
after is immense. Now, well, I've given you two prompters
to get vulnerable on this beautiful Vensday. I wish I
(11:18):
had a second chance at or. When I noticed myself
getting older, I.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah, so I've gone with question two. When I noticed
myself getting older, I because I think I've been. Now
I want to previous this per sa. I'm thirty four,
so like I'm hardly getting on and there's going to
be a lot of people in their car.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Going, oh you're onto yodad. But I am one hundred
percent denih of about getting older.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
And I only thought this yesterday when we were looking
up Dick van Dyke, the old the guy from Mary Poppins.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
He used to be the chimney sweep.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
He's ninety eight years old, and he's ninety eight, and
he is he's dating like a fifty two year old.
And there was a photo of him, and Woody and
I were looking at this photo of Dick van Dyke,
and he looked really old, like he's ninety eight.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Ninety eight actually looks pretty amazing for ninety He was.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Pretty amazing for ninety eight. But I had this moment
where I.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Was like, he was obviously trying to do the thing
where he's like, I'm ninety eight, but I'm still I've
still got this yeah, you know. But he had a
bit of food on his shirt, and you know, he
slippers on. He slips on. And I had this moment
where I realized that I think that I think I
(12:41):
think that trying to be young can be really unattractive
when you're not, like it's almost quite when you look
at someone really not letting go of how old they are.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
I don't know why that is.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
And I think I told this story at the start
of the show, but I think I had that moment
last night where I was going to go and see
a gig.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I was going to go and see one of my
favorite bands, The National.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
They were very cool and upcoming when I.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Was growing up in your twenties, in my twenties.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
And then I went to go and see them last night,
and I bought one of their T shirts which has
Sad Dads written on it because that's what they're known as.
And I had to ride past the fread Again concert.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
He's a young, cool DJ.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
He's a young cool DJ, and there are all these
kids out there, and I was riding the cargo bike,
which is like a bike with a carousel attached to
it that we ride my daughter around in. It's electric
because you know, I've gotta ride twenty five k's and
I'm not super Man anymore. So, as you said, you
sit quite up right on I sit up right. I'm
wearing a sad Dad's T shirt. I'm Balding riding electric
carousel bike.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (13:54):
If we had a further paint in the picture, you
got quite a dorky helmet on as well.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Super dorky I don't know where you got the helmet from.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
I was like, yeah, that's a super door, but it's
almost like a stack hat.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
So here I was thinking I was being really cool
going out to a gig on a Tuesday night. But
then I had this moment where I was riding to
that gig and all the kids, every single kid made
fun of me as I rode through past them, every
single one of them, like without fail, I had to
I just I had to laugh. Like here, I was
thinking I was really cool whilst I just wasn't cool.
And it kind of made me think about how I
(14:24):
used to be with my hair when I was losing
my hair. Was I used to get really worried about
holding onto my hair, so I would take the hairpingers.
And you know, like I think there was a guy
who made it. We made a joke about.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
When we were.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Doing the barbershop thing about going to Turkey and getting
a hair transplant. When I was in Amsterdam, he was
talking the hair dresses any to me, like dude, you
could you could easily get a transplant.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
You got so much hair about here.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
And I remember sitting there thinking like I could do that,
Like I could do that I could.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Have hair again. And now I.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Realized, and I suppose this is the vulnerable thing for
me to realize, although it's not an easy thing to realize.
Is the more that I try to be of an
age bracket that I'm not, the less happy I am.
Speaker 5 (15:14):
Do you find it or in an appearance or the
things that you're doing, because I think I think maintaining
an appearance of youth is different to trying to maintain
still doing the things that you were doing when you
were young, or do you classify them as pretty Like I.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Think hair is purely esthetic, definitely, but that's also just
to get rid of the like you know, if you
see a bald guy, you're like, well, Jes's old.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Sure, yeah right.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I caught up with some of my brother's mates recently
and another one of my friends is balding, and he
was like, geezus just nice saying out with some bald
dudes again, and we were like why and he was like, well,
because all of our mates started taking hair pills from
the age of eighteen.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
None of them wanted to be bald.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
And by the way, when you start taking these pills,
you have to take them every day and as soon
as you stop, you will lose all the hair that
you've retained, so that they are like, oh, really, it's
a lock in contract with the devil fear. It's like,
let's just take these things as we possibly can because
we're so scared about being old. So back to the
question when I noticed myself getting older, are used to
(16:14):
be really scared because I used to think that it
was the end of my enjoyability. I see, if I'm honest,
I still am scared because there's lots of things that
I love that are considered young, Like I like surfing,
and I like going out late, and I like DJing,
and I like all those things, and I can look
like a bit of a hack, which is what I
(16:35):
get scared about.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
You famously went to a nightclub recently and you knew
the owner, which was a big plus.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
But then you walked into this nightclub with a backpack
on and a dad jumper, and everyone in the que
torched you.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Well, one kid asked if they were like, mate, you're
going You're not You're not going hiking, You're climbing stairs
the way out.
Speaker 8 (16:54):
That's good stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Sounds pretty good stuff.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Towards you and I are putting the myth it's not
what you know, but who you know to the tests
and the way we are doing that is what You're
on the who you know side. I'm on the what
you know side of this debate. So you are choosing
something that I'm competent at, and then you're trying to
beat me at that thing with the help of someone
you know. It's will and what do you know or
(17:18):
who you know with better job matches than ever before.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
There is no secret, simply and you shall find all,
right mate.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
So look, I've beaten you at waiting effectively working in
the front of the house of a restaurant.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
We did that.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
I think I might have got you on music production.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
That fans to you at the past.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
It definitely fans me at the past.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
You are at the past of a restaurant. You tested
me in music production as well. We both had a
crack at making a song.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
I think I created the song of autumn, so that
might be a win to mean.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
So I think we're wan.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
All given that no one makes songs in autumn. I
think you might have a covered process of elimination. Yeah, sure,
but you want to have another crack at this? Yes,
the final thing.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
You know, and this seems a bit obscure, but I
think you know being a parking inspector.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
You think I know being a parking inspector.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
Well, I just think a big part of being a
parking inspector is being able to deal with confrontation. Yes,
and I think you are very good at that confrontation, conflict.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
You're a weapon at it.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Okay, Okay, thank you. I appreciate that. I don't like it.
But you know, ze Man like.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
That, you know, totally heavy lies the crown, you know,
maybe Batman anyway, you take Batman one of those things anyway. So,
but one person I know who I think is very,
very good at conflict is a woman who I was
in the I'm a Celebrity jungle with. Her name is
dom You might know her from maths.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
Famously, I was sitting there eating animal balls while her
and Kerry Ann Kennelly were really going for your als
into this.
Speaker 7 (18:50):
I probably don't have to answer anything.
Speaker 5 (18:53):
Yeah, of course you don't, because your little contract states it.
Speaker 7 (18:58):
Literally no respect or no decency for anyone else but yourself.
Speaker 10 (19:02):
I've never met anyone so self.
Speaker 11 (19:04):
Centered you, that's right.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Well, wa totally wild, so she's very, very good at it.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Okay, well, she's very yeah, yeah, strong in a confrontation,
which I suppose is what a parking inspector has to
be exactly. All right, So you want to call Dom
and ask her, if you were a parking inspector, how
to deal with the confrontation.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Yeah, okay, keep in mind you've only got a minute.
That's the rule for all of these.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
And then tomorrow, after you finished speaking to Dom today,
you and I will hit the streets as parking inspectors.
Yeah okay, all right, well and just like see how
many confrontations we have to deal with.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
I think it's just who can dish the most tickets successfully? Okay,
I think that's the bit. Okay, we'll figure out the
rules tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
But okay, I'm going to call call Dom and see
how to deal with the confrontation. Yeah, all right, here
we go.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
Hello, Tom, it's Woody. So good, so good. You're currently
live on air.
Speaker 12 (20:01):
I'm currently live on air.
Speaker 8 (20:02):
Great. Yeah, yeah, you really put me on the spot.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Sorry, very sorry. I've only got sixty seconds to talk
to you as well.
Speaker 11 (20:09):
Okay, all right, let's do it.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
Okay, So tomorrow I'm being a Parking Inspector.
Speaker 10 (20:15):
Oh God, why would you want to do that?
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Well, well, it's just yeah, I don't know. To be honest,
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
But I feel like the biggest issue we've been in
Parking Inspector is confronting people or being stuck in a confrontation.
So what's the key to being good in a confrontation?
Because I've seen you in this and you're very good
at it.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
You've got thirty seconds.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
Okay, Okay, I'm good at it.
Speaker 13 (20:36):
Just walk away.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
No, I don't think I can do that because I've
got to give the ticket to the car. So, like,
if someone attacks you, dom, Like, how do you like?
Speaker 4 (20:43):
I've seen you and Garry Ann Kennelly go at it,
you know what I mean? Like you held your grand's
what's the key to that?
Speaker 8 (20:48):
Ten seconds?
Speaker 14 (20:48):
Look, I probably can't say it on radio.
Speaker 15 (20:51):
Say it, Tom, We've only got ten seconds seven time.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
I'm not sure if I'm going to be in the job.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
Nothing good can come from sleeping in a different bed
in a different location.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Would you agree with that statement? Yes, because your bearings are.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Just right off right, Like you're in You're in a
new room, the toilet's in a new place, and I
just think if you wake up in the middle of
the night, are we talking.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Like from the perspective of a five year old, no,
as a thirty year old.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Let me tell you a quick story.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
So I was away on the weekend, so I'm in
a different bed. Okay, So I'm sleeping in a bed
with my partner, mim though, And it just so happens
that the way that we set up, we we ended
up going on different sides.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Of the bed from what from what you? Wow, that's weird.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
As soon as we get to any foreign bed, it's
just like, assume your position.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Don't even talk about it. Why did just what?
Speaker 10 (22:01):
So?
Speaker 5 (22:01):
I think our number one rule is I'm closest to
the door, of course, And because the door was on
the different, different side set up, it's for me, it's.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Just if you're never go to the door, yeah, fair enough,
fair enough, sacrificial lamb spot and.
Speaker 5 (22:14):
To be honest and would be a better fighter than
you if an intrudu absolute anyway, that's the way we
do it. And because of the way the door was
set up, I was on a different side to what
I'm usually like.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Okay, so you're already you're you're playing away and then
you're playing away from away.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
It's so confusing.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
Anyway, I wake up in the middle of the night,
it's all dark, and usually what I do at home
if I wake up in the middle of the night
and I have a little bit of gas, is I
open up the doner, hang my bottom out at the
edge of the beard and let it go out so
it's not going to disturb her sleep. Now you're already
(22:51):
putting together what's happened here. I'm on the other side,
so I think I'm doing this chivalrous thing, and I
think I'm putting my bottom over the edge of the
bed dunes out. I had put my bottom like right
up like towards this.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Day, half asleep. I'm half asleep, well, and it's automatic.
It's automatic.
Speaker 5 (23:16):
So I just put my right into her and so
she wakes up to an all mighty fart.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
And shock of her and she.
Speaker 8 (23:27):
Was like, what did you did?
Speaker 5 (23:29):
You just point it towards me and decide to absolutely
erupt on me and I and at that point I
was like, oh my.
Speaker 8 (23:35):
God, what are you doing there? Why are you out
of the bed?
Speaker 5 (23:39):
And then I was like, oh, hang on a second,
I've gone the wrong way? Is I just I just
think bad things happen when you sleep in a different
bed in a different location.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
And I'm sure I'm not the only person who has
a story here.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
Thirteen one oh sixty five is our number. What happened
when you slept in a different bed?
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Well, famously, a friend of ours was staying in a
hotel room. He thought the hotel door was the bathroom door.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Woke up in the middle of the night, node sleeps nude.
Woke up in the middle of the night. It was like,
oh great, there's the bathroom. Just because there's a little
light under the door. Open the door, And by the
time the door clicked lock, close, he realized he was
standing in the middle of the hallway of the hotel,
completely nerd, without his without a hotel card, by the way,
(24:31):
and only his boss in the room opposite. So that
that was yeah, and by the way, shouted out to
the horn if he's listening, stroke of genius, grabbed the
garbage bag from the hallway bin.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Brilliant and wore it like a dress like a poncho.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Brilliant. Yeah, actually actually quite genous.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
A little bit of doodle out the bottom every now
and then, But apart from it, that's about as bad
as it gets me.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Thirty six five. What happened when you slept in a
different location, Felicia.
Speaker 11 (25:03):
This was last year, Yeah, almost a year ago. It's
my fiftieth birthday. Yeah, And I got up to go
to the toilet. It was dark. I was in the
hotel room with my husband, and I went to the loop,
came back and thought the bed was nice and white
and fluffy and gorgeous.
Speaker 9 (25:21):
I thought I would flop backwards.
Speaker 11 (25:23):
On the bed, but I missed the bed and fell
on the hard concrete floor and broke my shoulder into places.
And it's still hurts, it's still, sergeant.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
But there's nothing worse than thanks, Felicia.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Thinking that something like in your subconsciousness, assuming that something
is there or something is going to catch you. Yeah,
and it not been there At the moment when it's
not there, it's just so scary. There's like half a
second there. If I could, if I could make a
compilation on YouTube of the moment when people realized that, yes,
(26:02):
the seat wasn't there, that would be the best thing ever.
Speaker 5 (26:06):
You were at the house party when my mat and
mum playing Tiggy in the house, and I went to
go and run outside and it was a.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
Full wall length window.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
Yes, And I hit windows, shattered window and fell back.
And I genuinely thought that moment that I'd hit an
alien force field.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Your mind just can't catch.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Up because you're just happened. I'm drawing straight down the
wall here. I love that. For most people, they'd be like, oh,
must have been some glass. I hadn't seen.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
It was too quick, you quick, someone who with a
force field.
Speaker 5 (26:37):
Let's go to story Zoe, what happened in a when
you slept in a different location.
Speaker 9 (26:43):
I was at a friend's wedding with my partner, staying
in a hotel afterwards. Then, in my very broken sleep,
with my vivid dreams, I lifted my hand up and
smacked down as hard as I could onto his meat
and true edge.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Ah the foreign bed or is that just the dream?
Speaker 9 (27:04):
I think I must have been sleeping funny in the.
Speaker 14 (27:07):
Bed right right dream.
Speaker 9 (27:09):
I vaguely remember doing it. I'm not sure the dream.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
What was the what was the moment in the dream?
Speaker 9 (27:15):
I can't even remember.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
I just slapping down on a like slapping down like
a warrant or something.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Maybe you were my demand to search this peters you know,
well I don't know, Like what, well, well, well that's
what she's you know.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
The funny thing is that has nothing to do with
being in a different bed.
Speaker 5 (27:33):
I agree with you, she had my dream she smacked
her partner on the tod have you.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I've had a few, like recently where I've had where
I've been having sexy dreams and I've made a bit
of a play on sam.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
Oh interest, that's really but I don't remember it at all.
Speaker 8 (27:48):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (27:48):
So she tells you that in the morning after, like, hey,
you tried to.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
Oh no, She'll often wake me up at the time.
She was like, well, well, no, no.
Speaker 8 (27:56):
I'm not Hoolliana.
Speaker 4 (27:57):
I'm not Hooliana. Let's go to of course, because you're
in no control there, you're in no control.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Let's go to Shauna on thurday one.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Imagine if you were sleeping next to me, Hi, Shauna,
I'm getting on ki tour.
Speaker 13 (28:13):
Sure. Yeah, So I went on the Katiki just before
COVID And of course, like Kentikies, you're in like funk
beds and stuff like this. So I normally sits in
the queen side like single, enjoy my life.
Speaker 11 (28:22):
Whatever.
Speaker 14 (28:23):
Anyway, I went.
Speaker 13 (28:24):
Over there and they put me on a top bunk
and about half president I rolled the wrong way and
ended up smacking myself into the bedside table and ended
up with six stitches in New Zealand.
Speaker 9 (28:33):
So that was fun.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Six ditches in New Zealand all the places. Emily's wait,
what didn't in the country there, did you? Emily? On
thirty one and six five.
Speaker 12 (28:48):
Emily, I can't believe I'm called I'm embarrassed to tell
this story.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Awesome, that's the best story.
Speaker 12 (28:54):
If I don't laugh at myself, then yeah, there won't
be there won't be a story in itself. We're the
Hen's Night down in Melbourne, staying in a hotel room.
So I was staying with her, a girl that i'd
met for the first time. When now I got extremely drunk,
got kicked out of the nightclub, got back into the room,
girl put me back into bed. So middle of the night,
I woke up to go to the bathroom and the
(29:15):
bathroom book doors like narrow and small.
Speaker 14 (29:17):
So I got up, worked my way around like the
room could fill the door, went in, went to the
toilet and then Midwi. I heard the girl go, Emily, stop,
and I stopped Midwi, like opened my eyes and realized
I was sitting on the chair in the hotel room
seeking it was the toilet, peeking all over the floor.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
You know, Emily, Apparently with men, once you lose that inhibition,
you can't get it back.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
So have you done this since?
Speaker 14 (29:45):
So embarrassed?
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Have you done it since?
Speaker 7 (29:48):
Emily?
Speaker 14 (29:48):
No way?
Speaker 4 (29:50):
I want weed on MIM's mum's car, thinking it was
the toilet.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
What I said to you before the song, I'm going
to put you in the place you most want to
be some staneously that is the place you least want
to be.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
What do you think that is?
Speaker 4 (30:03):
I figured it out. Yeah, it's a Miley Cyrus concert.
Speaker 5 (30:06):
I love Miley Cyrus so much, but I have noise sensitivity,
so I wouldn't want to be at a concert.
Speaker 4 (30:11):
That would be my purgatory.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Good answer, it's heaven and Hell. It's a great answer.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
So we're going to take you the long way to
get there because it's more torturous for you.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
So I'm going to take you to Norway.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
Okay, never been, No. I think people are very happy
in Norway. I think so in Norway.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
There was a story today and this suggests maybe they're
not as happy as you think they are, ah where
they are expecting a well, sorry, they're experiencing an unexpected
health crisis. Oh no, seven hundred thousand people in Norway
have found themselves in the grip of a nasal spray addiction,
(31:00):
a sniff stick addiction. No why between twenty eighteen twenty two,
thirty six percent surge in sales, and they think the
number of sniff sticks sold in twenty twenty two alone
was eight point eight million sniff sticks.
Speaker 8 (31:14):
Get out.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
They think that in the.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
US the number is close to approaching the ten million mark.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
They're so good, so it's the only good thing about
getting sick.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
And then there's a bit of research I did on
this and apparently it is well regarded within medical circles
as a fact that chemical nasals praise are as addictive
as morphine.
Speaker 5 (31:35):
Yep, well, I've never, never, never had morphine before, so
I can't speak to the addiction around morphine. But I
can tell you that as soon as I as soon
as I have a few sniffs, and look, I'm gonna
be fully honest here, I don't do it out of leisure,
I get sick, and I get a block to nasal.
The problem for me, arise, is that after I've started sniffing,
I can't stop.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
No, I know, you just walk around with it hanging
out of your nose.
Speaker 5 (31:55):
Well, when I keep them in locations, Turf got one
in the studio, I've got one in the car. I've
got three at home in different locations. So I'm always
within reach of a sniff stick. Jesus Christ, I'm an addict.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
So you and you, you, and you're the first person
to say this. You have a very addictive personality.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Yes, so I'm all or nothing. Yeah, so let's let's
have a think about you. So you've got the sniff
stick addiction.
Speaker 8 (32:14):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (32:15):
Nuts, nuts, yep. I either have a lot of nuts
or no nuts.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
To the point where you've had to cancel out certain
nuts from your eating regime because you've effectively forced yourself
into being allergic to them.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
Yes, you've have.
Speaker 5 (32:30):
So you have so many of them, yep. Tuna sushi sushi.
Like I used to go to sushi sushi and just go,
how many have you got?
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Flows me up? Juna sushi nuts.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Yeah, and they're weird because it goes away from just
the ingestibles as well. The movie Gladiator. I believe you
watched up to three hundred times in one year.
Speaker 5 (32:50):
At least at least you know, in our final year
of school, I would watch Gladiator daily.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I know so so probably suggests how you did at
school foot massages. Foot massages are up there.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
I got addicted to foot massages.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah, So what I want to do because none of
these are illicit, Like obviously, if you talk addictions, we're
often you know, talking drugs, or you know, something nasty, sex,
you know these sorts of naughty things.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Nasty.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
My addictions are kind of dorky.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Yes, but nevertheless, I think that given that they are
relatively safe for most people, what I wouldn't mind doing.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Just because I just want to see what happens. This
is just purely curious me.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Don't bring in my addictions, please, So you can't. You can't.
You can't, Well, we're going to what we're going to do,
will you can't.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
I just want to see problem. I just want to
see what happens.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
I just want to see what happens to you if
we at the same time let you or make you
sniff a sniff stick pretty aggressively, whilst also eating peanut butter.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
Do I get a dual nostril?
Speaker 8 (33:58):
It?
Speaker 4 (33:59):
Can you get me too? Sniffty? Yeah, I think I've
got ten around the station.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Whilst whilst watching the speech from the movie Gladiator.
Speaker 8 (34:12):
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
What do you? What do you?
Speaker 1 (34:16):
I mean, We're going to see how this plays out
up next, but how do you what do you think
is gonna happen?
Speaker 4 (34:20):
I think I'm going to pass out. Okay, it'll be
too much, It'll be too much.
Speaker 6 (34:25):
Joy.
Speaker 4 (34:28):
I really think I'm gonna.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Pass So sorry, We've brought in some of your what
we'll call PG addictions because I honestly, just as a
as a scientist, you're shaking.
Speaker 4 (34:39):
I'm not shaking shaking. I'm very excited, sweating as well,
very excited.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Okay, so got three of the things that you're I
think most addicted to, so sniff sticks.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Yeah, fair enough, sniff dis.
Speaker 8 (34:54):
Yeah, I'm not grind.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
There's there's a lot of emotion going on right now. Okay,
I love all of it.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Okay, so you love sniff sticks.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
We just found doubt that seven hundred thousand people are
a reporter as addicted to sniff sticks in Norway, And
it's been apparently said that apparently sniff sticks are addictive.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Is morphine you have? At least you? I mean, did
do you finish it? I mean I've never had a
sniffstick before, Like, how quickly do you get through it?
Speaker 4 (35:17):
The great thing about a sniffstick is at lasts for ages.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
But you've often told me that when you because I
know I've seen you crack one before and the first
one goes in and you hold it in there for
a while.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
Well, nothing like a fresh stick.
Speaker 10 (35:30):
You.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
We're talking about a snifstick, by the way, everyone, we're
talking about a Vic's sniffstick.
Speaker 4 (35:33):
You know when you open tennis balls.
Speaker 5 (35:35):
Yes, oh, that's like the first crack of a sniff stick.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
All right, And then we're walking the line here. Oh,
I just think inhaling things, I.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Don't think it's just men though, man and something called
camp four.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Okay, all right, So what we've got is got two
sniff sticks for you. We've got all your addictions in
one spot. We've got two stip sticks for you. We've
got a jar of peanut butter.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
Is your your heart, your heart, My heart's gone up.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
We've got two stiff sticks.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
We have a jar of peanut butter in which case
in which you have a heaped dessert spoon of the
peanut butter on a spoon.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
And we've got your third addiction. You watch the movie.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
You watch the movie Gladiator three hundred times in a
calendar year once. So you're going to watch the speech
from Gladiator on your laptop.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Okay, we're gonna have that on mute.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Just so that it doesn't confuse things, but we will
play the Gladiator music as this unfolds.
Speaker 5 (36:30):
Okay, do you want me to do it all at once,
like just get them all in.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
I reckon or do you think like a little bit
of a like a chat with you as we go? Okay,
so maybe if we start, let's start with the sniff sticks.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
Be my pleasure.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Well, my god. Okay, so you're dual wielding.
Speaker 5 (36:46):
You're going out, which which I don't usually do. But
you know, when in Rome, just there is nothing like it.
You just it's like it's like the freshest show you've
ever had.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
But internally, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (37:05):
It's like having the freshest. It's like, it's like you've
never felt cleaner, but you haven't had to deal you
haven't had to deal with the admin of getting wet.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 6 (37:16):
Like?
Speaker 4 (37:16):
I feel cleanse like I wish I could live like this.
I wish I could live in a world I wish.
Have you seen the movie June? You know, you know
in June when they're in the desert and they've got
a thing up their nose. If that was sniff stick
for me, that is my heaven.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
You hold them up there. Next we're going to go
the peanut butter. You're going to keep the sniff sticks
in there. Okay, how are you.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Actually getting hot right now?
Speaker 8 (37:45):
You feel like Darth Vader?
Speaker 3 (37:46):
You've changed something.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
I feel good something.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
You're really good. I feel like me. All of a sudden,
I finally feel like me. Welcome home.
Speaker 8 (37:55):
Let's okay.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
What do you know.
Speaker 9 (38:14):
Now?
Speaker 3 (38:14):
The Gladdy?
Speaker 6 (38:15):
I know it's.
Speaker 11 (38:20):
What we.
Speaker 8 (38:22):
What we so look at his.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
Eyes, looking his eyes. You're waiting for this moment. Tell
him how you are.
Speaker 8 (38:34):
That session.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
I don't think we can broke out anymore of this.
Speaker 3 (38:37):
That's feeling you listen.
Speaker 8 (38:42):
Crying drop.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
This Okay, okay, take you tell him where you are.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Take us out, Take us out, Take us out.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Copp take us out his out Coppet.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Comment us, He's alive, comment us well.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Australia's tallest.
Speaker 6 (39:07):
Unbelievable Australia's biggest arts festival, Adelaide Fringe from sixteen to
March seventeen.
Speaker 8 (39:12):
Tickets at Adelaide Fringe dot.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Com dot at you unbelievable. As I was saying, I
love it when the credit cuts you off. Hey, right now, seriously,
it's ten thousand bucks just for having a great yard though.
Woods Williamo dot com if you want to register that story.
It's happening at the Adelaide friend. We're going to be
in the Wonderlandspiegel Tent next Thursday night, so come on.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
Down if you are in Adelaide. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
I think the show starts at eight thirty pm, so yeah,
come on.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
Mist of great comedians as well. Claire Hoop is going
to be on there. Merrick.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
What's is going to be telling a great story himself,
some really great stand up plus some great storytellers.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
That's you, guys. Natalie's Gold. Natalie was my life.
Speaker 10 (39:49):
Hey, hey, so this story is that when I went
to my friend's half party. So it's just standard half party,
getting drunk and single me miets this guy and you know,
we're hitting it off and we wanted to leave the party,
so we wanted to get out of there, and we
(40:09):
couldn't go to each other's houses.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
Couldn't.
Speaker 10 (40:11):
I don't know why at the time, So we booked
a hotel and through at this hotel, and you know,
things happened this, that, and the other, and we wake
up the next morning. He's still half asleep and I
was starving, so I ordered room service and so obviously
the room service comes. He's like, you know, peeping around,
(40:34):
and I turn around once I've gotten the food, and
it's like you've seen an absolute ghost and close the door,
and I was like, what's wrong with you? And he's like,
I know this guy. And I was like, how do
you know this guy? Like what's the matter? He goes, oh,
this is the guy that works with my fiance.
Speaker 14 (40:52):
A hotel, and I was like, how did you, like not.
Speaker 10 (40:59):
Saying you think at the time, and he's just like,
I don't know, mate, Like like I was just I
was just shocked, and I was just self diressed. God
like getting out of that hotel was one nightmare because
I just didn't know if she was working like that shift.
But yeah, the colleague knew, and I don't know if
(41:19):
ye locked eyes and it was just the end for him.
Speaker 4 (41:23):
Oh yeah, do you know what ended up having? Did
she find out?
Speaker 14 (41:29):
Well?
Speaker 10 (41:29):
Yeah, because a couple of years later we so my
friends that had the house party, myself, we actually got
an invite to a wedding for that guy, but it
was for another girl. So obviously she must have found
out something or it was you know, obviously Peter was
always the cheetah. But yeah, so yeah, Ruth, I know,
(41:53):
I know. So yeah, sometimes ahead.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Well said Natalie, and there could be fun times ahead
for you.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
You're going to be sure this did a head along too.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Our Tall Towls competition is happening at the Adelaide Fringe.
If you want to come down on the night, it's
next Thursday at the Wonderland Spiegel Tent. Otherwise, if you
think you can win the ten ground, if you think
your story is better than Natalie's head along to willimany
dot com, the winner wins ten grand. As I said,
there's going to be other great comedians doing stories on
the night.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Claire Claire Hoop is going to be there.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
She is a comedian, and Merrick Wats is also going
to be down there telling some yards. Well, it's going
to be a hell of the night, guys, so please
head al on to the Wonderland speagele tent if you're
Nadelaide otherwise Williman dot com with a great yarn
We've got a guest in the studio in Todd Cash.
Fornjoins as welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
What's going on. My name is Tom.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
It's great to have you here, Tom, great to have
you here.
Speaker 4 (00:14):
It's good to be here being Tom.
Speaker 5 (00:16):
He's alerding to an idea we've got and I'm actually
very very excited about it. But before we get to
the big idea about you not being Tom stand up special,
you're doing one.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
That's it. It's out. It's out a week ago.
Speaker 6 (00:28):
It's called Pests and it's free on YouTube for anyone
to watch. It kind of takes the audience through a
beautiful series of jokes, but also the landlord reference kind
of media Yes, yes, yes, but this is finally now
my perspective on what was a media storm which ended
up with like politicians in the Act Parliament arguing about
whether I was trying to be funny or not.
Speaker 7 (00:46):
Basically, really, yeah, so you.
Speaker 6 (00:48):
Asked for a reference for a landlord. I asked my perspective,
landlord that approved me. They wanted me in there desperately.
I said, hey, wait a second, could you please get
a referen I've given me three references from my existing.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Landlord, from my employer from a.
Speaker 7 (01:01):
Friend of mine.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I don't know why you need to know that I'm
a good friend.
Speaker 6 (01:04):
Yeah yeah, could you please get a reference from one
of your tenants to prove you're a good landlord?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
And they said no, and also you're you're out.
Speaker 6 (01:11):
We don't want to approve you anymore. Then subsequently, two
weeks later, another unrelated landlord approved me.
Speaker 7 (01:17):
Found out I was that guy that was the most.
Speaker 6 (01:19):
Annoying tend to live from the news also canceled my approval.
Really and this was covered in media, including in this
beautiful program.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
I don't know if this gives away too much from
people watching the special, but what was the what's the
resolution here?
Speaker 7 (01:33):
I mean, yes it does.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Sorry, yeah right, no, no, I mean yeah.
Speaker 6 (01:36):
The resolution I think is that absolutely no change has
been made because no one in Australia will ever fix
this problem and it's an ongoing problem.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
The power.
Speaker 6 (01:44):
I think this was a symptom, one of many symptoms,
but a very specific symptom that I kind of went
through of the power and balance that exists between landlords
and tenants and asking for references. It is certainly not
going to fix that, but god, it was a good
example of it if you even asked for.
Speaker 7 (01:56):
A MEAs leading.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Yeah, they couldn't even believe it. And even the real
estate the head of the real estate institute, who who
represents real estate agents, set on record, I think accidentally
that what I had proposed was actually.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Pretty reasonable, and even then gone, wow, So there's no
hope none that I discovered.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
But also I'm a comedian, so it's also not completely
do you.
Speaker 8 (02:20):
Find that hard?
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Like I mean in general, I mean, obviously this has
been magnified on a much larger scale where they're kind
of in parliament going is he being a dickhead? I mean,
that's why it's called a show, is called pests I
imagine it was? Or is he actually genuinely like, I
don't know, are you in a relationship? Is that something
that's like constantly indue for you in your everyday life?
Speaker 6 (02:37):
No, being argued about whether being a hero or an
idiot is not an issue in my life.
Speaker 7 (02:43):
And I'm single.
Speaker 6 (02:45):
I wonder what they were One politician was saying, literally said,
there's a quote in the show this will lead us
into utopia, just like no, it has the potential to
lead us into utopia, making it a law that you're
gonna ask landlords for references.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I'm watching.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
It was my idea, I'm easy, folks, let's not get
too great away. But then another guy was being like,
it comes from TikTok. This guy is an idiot. He
was just true for the last one, but go easy mane.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I looked him up.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
He has a TikTok hypocrite, so like, yeah, it got interesting. Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Do you know who I looked at recently?
Speaker 5 (03:17):
Tom Cashman, a guy who's currently touring in Australia called
Fred again. He makes this banger famous d J, you're
the wrong verse indu engineered, I mean again. He's probably
the most famous music producer in the world at the moment.
He was in Australia for something else and then pretty
much just announced, Hey, I'm doing ten shows in Sydney
and Melbourne and sold them all out with him about
(03:39):
five minutes.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
He is, he's a phenomenon.
Speaker 7 (03:42):
At the moment, I preferred for the first time, Oh
very good.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I don't think.
Speaker 8 (03:48):
Come.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
I love that like cool Australia, cool music, cool kind
of particularly guys like the Here guys. They were like
twenty years ago. They were playing guitar guitars and now
they're going.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
The coolest thing.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
It is as cool as well, that is, that's going
to be you. Because I had never seen Fred again.
I saw a picture and I was like, that's Tom Cashman,
straight up, Tom Cashman.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Look at it. I've got a photo in front of you.
Speaker 6 (04:17):
Goodness gracious, Okay, that's a mirror, right, I mean, I'm
loving this.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I'm just nodding along.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
Yeah, yeah, okay, you're you're a poor man's fread again.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
You're I read the first time.
Speaker 7 (04:33):
Come on, lucky guys.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
But the amazing news is because we knew you looked
like Fred Again, we have organized you to have an
interview with Mitchchury, who does.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Nights here at this station.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
Okay, he is currently standing by thinking that he is
about to interview. Yes, this DJ Sensation fread again. So
I'm just gonna I'm cooling you up slightly, if that's okay.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I've got to get you needed it.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Not that not that you needed any huge cool up.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Oh you're putting a different clothes on me, just a
baggy jumper. I was actually.
Speaker 7 (05:04):
Impressed with the shirt that I wore.
Speaker 8 (05:05):
But that's fine.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
This this is okay, this.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Is a really tough he's kind of like a backhanded
compliment this whole thing, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Backhanding out?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Look, what do you know?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I think if you've been watching task Master, which I've
been watching religiously, mate, But well, congratulations, it's such a
great show.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Thank you. You can also go and see Tom's brand
new comedy special Pest. It's on YouTube. Or he's doing
a comedy show called Everything.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
But he's also touring the country selling out the Syney
Opera House and rob Laver Arena as Fred Again Wood
you and I think he's got a double ganger in
Fred Again.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Now that you're in here in person.
Speaker 6 (05:37):
I.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Still see. For the record, I still see.
Speaker 6 (05:42):
I've put a cool hat on and I've put a
jumper on and you're like, it does not suit this guy.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You never worn this in ever?
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Can I plucked us the accent?
Speaker 8 (05:49):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (05:49):
So you're from England?
Speaker 7 (05:50):
Okay, I'm from London.
Speaker 8 (05:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Nice, he's posh.
Speaker 7 (05:53):
It's absolutely fantastic to be here and I love.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
To dg this is Okay, that's exactly what it's going.
Speaker 7 (06:00):
To in this absent from no On.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Nice.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
Okay, So we have got Mitch Jury on standby. He
does a show on this station. Night's with Mitch.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Okay, we're going to bring a computer in, okay.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
Or you're going to be on Zoom with Mitch. Your
task yes, little task master reference there is to pull
off an interview as Fred again for five minutes.
Speaker 7 (06:20):
Five minutes. That is much longer than I thought it
was going to be, or.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
See as long as you can really I think five
minutes is I mean, that's how long you'd probably interview
him for. With these high profile junkets, they're normally a
five minute turnover.
Speaker 7 (06:32):
Five minutes is an extraordinary laugh period of time.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
We're going to duck out. Mitch is going to be
joining you.
Speaker 7 (06:38):
Live now, that's sure.
Speaker 8 (06:41):
Hello, buddy, how are you? Oh much so nice to
meet you.
Speaker 7 (06:44):
Yeah, gorgeous to meet you with two honest to god.
Speaker 8 (06:46):
A big fan of your work, A big fan of
your line bike riding. I saw in your instra story.
I'm like that. To film on a line bike and
to ride through Melbourne like one handed. That is skill.
Your brain works in mysterious ways.
Speaker 7 (06:57):
Zoom and then, but I'm zooming even more.
Speaker 8 (06:59):
Now he's got jokes you are, tell you what you're
funny you're handsome, You're talented, I mean you are Are
you single? I mean, I'm sure people would want to know.
Speaker 7 (07:08):
Oh I'm single for now, but you know who knows
what goes on on the tour?
Speaker 8 (07:11):
You know, yeah, that's exactly right.
Speaker 7 (07:13):
What the single match?
Speaker 8 (07:15):
Yeah, I'm in a weird situationship, fred what what weird situation?
One with someone and I just doesn't have a label yet,
but like we're basically.
Speaker 7 (07:23):
Together, so it's like, you're not together.
Speaker 8 (07:25):
Don't make this about me. God, you're good. The psychology of.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Freddie s sorry me just on a lot of these
and now you're a pro.
Speaker 8 (07:33):
Hey, it's such a pleasure to have you on the
show and to get you in here. You're a hard
man to get hold of. I think I just want
to start with the success that you have had. I mean,
now a Grammy winner, you sell out shows in literal seconds.
A couple of years ago, this is I'm not trying
to be rude here, I didn't know who fred again was.
Now I can't escape you. You were everywhere that must
(07:54):
be for like, you know, a thirty year old, he's
been doing this quite a while. A good spot to
being in your career.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
It's a fantastics what to be and can I say
a few years ago, I didn't know who you were either,
so it's even but no, absolutely, I was just making
songs in my basement on my computer, and I was
doing my best and to break out in the way
that I happened to be able to visit places like
Australia and put on shows like I can the Split
of an Arrow. It's absolutely fantastic.
Speaker 8 (08:19):
Is this a real accent?
Speaker 3 (08:20):
This?
Speaker 8 (08:21):
I feel like I'm on a sketch show. This is
a brilliant accents. What's the hybrid of where were you born?
Speaker 6 (08:26):
Well, I've been in Australia for about five days, so
I thought it would be right to kind of adjust
my accent in a little bit of an Australian way.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
So I'm putting one over on your humich.
Speaker 8 (08:34):
Are you actually putting on an as the acent?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah, I'm trying to. Is it not coming across?
Speaker 8 (08:37):
You're such a shit? I'm like we need to get
does anyone else smell burnt? Toes fre It's had a
stroke and then I'm going to be the one that
has caused his mental downfall. Do you think I'm dying
that I might someone get thread a glass of water.
The poor bastard needs an aspirin. Wait, give me a
normal voice, your silly bugger.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
No, no, I want to do it like this. I'm
enjoying Australia.
Speaker 8 (08:58):
Come on, and then now needs it needs to be
more nasally and it.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Needs tell me how to speak. I know how to speak.
Speaker 8 (09:06):
No, no, that's the eussy. Uh well, yeah, the success
is cool. Winning the Grammy was very exciting. A couple
of weeks ago, it's willing, it's willing Woody, and you're
not talking to Fred again.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
You're talking to Tom.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Cashman said that was probably the best.
Speaker 6 (09:25):
How long ago it's five?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
To be Fred again is such a fantastic feeling. And
he started talking about your relationship. The accent, the accent was.
Speaker 6 (09:49):
Too much, extremely open with your situation to a global superstar.
Speaker 8 (09:54):
The accent was the accent. I thought, God, this guy's
got a great sense of humor. It's so funny, it's
so good.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I think the last thing Job said was tell me how.
Speaker 8 (10:10):
It went with it. I'm like, he's so famous. I
give him what he wants.
Speaker 6 (10:14):
The only thing I planned was gorgeous to meet you.
And I think when I said gorgeous. It was it
was like gorgeous. I'm like, I'm it.
Speaker 8 (10:21):
I genuinely thought to myself, this looks like that guy
that sometimes sits on the left side of the project
that's general life.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Oh you are professional.
Speaker 8 (10:36):
I told my parents to listen to this. I was excited,
incredible And.
Speaker 9 (10:44):
What is.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Show?
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Every Wednesday we get a bit vulnerable in here.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
I've got the Dracula music there because it can be
a bit scary to be vulnerable, but it's also good
to mention. I think the idea of being vulnerable is
always scarier than actually doing it. Then if you are
comfortable being vulnerable, or you do it, you the relief
after is immense. Now, well, I've given you two prompters
to get vulnerable on this beautiful Vensday. I wish I
(11:18):
had a second chance at or. When I noticed myself
getting older, I.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah, so I've gone with question two. When I noticed
myself getting older, I because I think I've been. Now
I want to previous this per sa. I'm thirty four,
so like I'm hardly getting on and there's going to
be a lot of people in their car.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Going, oh you're onto yodad. But I am one hundred
percent denih of about getting older.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
And I only thought this yesterday when we were looking
up Dick van Dyke, the old the guy from Mary Poppins.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
He used to be the chimney sweep.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
He's ninety eight years old, and he's ninety eight, and
he is he's dating like a fifty two year old.
And there was a photo of him, and Woody and
I were looking at this photo of Dick van Dyke,
and he looked really old, like he's ninety eight.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Ninety eight actually looks pretty amazing for ninety He was.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Pretty amazing for ninety eight. But I had this moment
where I.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Was like, he was obviously trying to do the thing
where he's like, I'm ninety eight, but I'm still I've
still got this yeah, you know. But he had a
bit of food on his shirt, and you know, he
slippers on. He slips on. And I had this moment
where I realized that I think that I think I
(12:41):
think that trying to be young can be really unattractive
when you're not, like it's almost quite when you look
at someone really not letting go of how old they are.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
I don't know why that is.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
And I think I told this story at the start
of the show, but I think I had that moment
last night where I was going to go and see
a gig.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I was going to go and see one of my
favorite bands, The National.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
They were very cool and upcoming when I.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Was growing up in your twenties, in my twenties.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
And then I went to go and see them last night,
and I bought one of their T shirts which has
Sad Dads written on it because that's what they're known as.
And I had to ride past the fread Again concert.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
He's a young, cool DJ.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
He's a young cool DJ, and there are all these
kids out there, and I was riding the cargo bike,
which is like a bike with a carousel attached to
it that we ride my daughter around in. It's electric
because you know, I've gotta ride twenty five k's and
I'm not super Man anymore. So, as you said, you
sit quite up right on I sit up right. I'm
wearing a sad Dad's T shirt. I'm Balding riding electric
carousel bike.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (13:54):
If we had a further paint in the picture, you
got quite a dorky helmet on as well.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Super dorky I don't know where you got the helmet from.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
I was like, yeah, that's a super door, but it's
almost like a stack hat.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
So here I was thinking I was being really cool
going out to a gig on a Tuesday night. But
then I had this moment where I was riding to
that gig and all the kids, every single kid made
fun of me as I rode through past them, every
single one of them, like without fail, I had to
I just I had to laugh. Like here, I was
thinking I was really cool whilst I just wasn't cool.
And it kind of made me think about how I
(14:24):
used to be with my hair when I was losing
my hair. Was I used to get really worried about
holding onto my hair, so I would take the hairpingers.
And you know, like I think there was a guy
who made it. We made a joke about.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
When we were.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Doing the barbershop thing about going to Turkey and getting
a hair transplant. When I was in Amsterdam, he was
talking the hair dresses any to me, like dude, you
could you could easily get a transplant.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
You got so much hair about here.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
And I remember sitting there thinking like I could do that,
Like I could do that I could.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Have hair again. And now I.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Realized, and I suppose this is the vulnerable thing for
me to realize, although it's not an easy thing to realize.
Is the more that I try to be of an
age bracket that I'm not, the less happy I am.
Speaker 5 (15:14):
Do you find it or in an appearance or the
things that you're doing, because I think I think maintaining
an appearance of youth is different to trying to maintain
still doing the things that you were doing when you
were young, or do you classify them as pretty Like I.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Think hair is purely esthetic, definitely, but that's also just
to get rid of the like you know, if you
see a bald guy, you're like, well, Jes's old.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Sure, yeah right.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I caught up with some of my brother's mates recently
and another one of my friends is balding, and he
was like, geezus just nice saying out with some bald
dudes again, and we were like why and he was like, well,
because all of our mates started taking hair pills from
the age of eighteen.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
None of them wanted to be bald.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
And by the way, when you start taking these pills,
you have to take them every day and as soon
as you stop, you will lose all the hair that
you've retained, so that they are like, oh, really, it's
a lock in contract with the devil fear. It's like,
let's just take these things as we possibly can because
we're so scared about being old. So back to the
question when I noticed myself getting older, are used to
(16:14):
be really scared because I used to think that it
was the end of my enjoyability. I see, if I'm honest,
I still am scared because there's lots of things that
I love that are considered young, Like I like surfing,
and I like going out late, and I like DJing,
and I like all those things, and I can look
like a bit of a hack, which is what I
(16:35):
get scared about.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
You famously went to a nightclub recently and you knew
the owner, which was a big plus.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
But then you walked into this nightclub with a backpack
on and a dad jumper, and everyone in the que
torched you.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Well, one kid asked if they were like, mate, you're
going You're not You're not going hiking, You're climbing stairs
the way out.
Speaker 8 (16:54):
That's good stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Sounds pretty good stuff.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Towards you and I are putting the myth it's not
what you know, but who you know to the tests
and the way we are doing that is what You're
on the who you know side. I'm on the what
you know side of this debate. So you are choosing
something that I'm competent at, and then you're trying to
beat me at that thing with the help of someone
you know. It's will and what do you know or
(17:18):
who you know with better job matches than ever before.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
There is no secret, simply and you shall find all,
right mate.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
So look, I've beaten you at waiting effectively working in
the front of the house of a restaurant.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
We did that.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
I think I might have got you on music production.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
That fans to you at the past.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
It definitely fans me at the past.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
You are at the past of a restaurant. You tested
me in music production as well. We both had a
crack at making a song.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
I think I created the song of autumn, so that
might be a win to mean.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
So I think we're wan.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
All given that no one makes songs in autumn. I
think you might have a covered process of elimination. Yeah, sure,
but you want to have another crack at this? Yes,
the final thing.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
You know, and this seems a bit obscure, but I
think you know being a parking inspector.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
You think I know being a parking inspector.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
Well, I just think a big part of being a
parking inspector is being able to deal with confrontation. Yes,
and I think you are very good at that confrontation, conflict.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
You're a weapon at it.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Okay, Okay, thank you. I appreciate that. I don't like it.
But you know, ze Man like.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
That, you know, totally heavy lies the crown, you know,
maybe Batman anyway, you take Batman one of those things anyway. So,
but one person I know who I think is very,
very good at conflict is a woman who I was
in the I'm a Celebrity jungle with. Her name is
dom You might know her from maths.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
Famously, I was sitting there eating animal balls while her
and Kerry Ann Kennelly were really going for your als
into this.
Speaker 7 (18:50):
I probably don't have to answer anything.
Speaker 5 (18:53):
Yeah, of course you don't, because your little contract states it.
Speaker 7 (18:58):
Literally no respect or no decency for anyone else but yourself.
Speaker 10 (19:02):
I've never met anyone so self.
Speaker 11 (19:04):
Centered you, that's right.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Well, wa totally wild, so she's very, very good at it.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Okay, well, she's very yeah, yeah, strong in a confrontation,
which I suppose is what a parking inspector has to
be exactly. All right, So you want to call Dom
and ask her, if you were a parking inspector, how
to deal with the confrontation.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Yeah, okay, keep in mind you've only got a minute.
That's the rule for all of these.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
And then tomorrow, after you finished speaking to Dom today,
you and I will hit the streets as parking inspectors.
Yeah okay, all right, well and just like see how
many confrontations we have to deal with.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
I think it's just who can dish the most tickets successfully? Okay,
I think that's the bit. Okay, we'll figure out the
rules tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
But okay, I'm going to call call Dom and see
how to deal with the confrontation. Yeah, all right, here
we go.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
Hello, Tom, it's Woody. So good, so good. You're currently
live on air.
Speaker 12 (20:01):
I'm currently live on air.
Speaker 8 (20:02):
Great. Yeah, yeah, you really put me on the spot.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Sorry, very sorry. I've only got sixty seconds to talk
to you as well.
Speaker 11 (20:09):
Okay, all right, let's do it.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
Okay, So tomorrow I'm being a Parking Inspector.
Speaker 10 (20:15):
Oh God, why would you want to do that?
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Well, well, it's just yeah, I don't know. To be honest,
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
But I feel like the biggest issue we've been in
Parking Inspector is confronting people or being stuck in a confrontation.
So what's the key to being good in a confrontation?
Because I've seen you in this and you're very good
at it.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
You've got thirty seconds.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
Okay, Okay, I'm good at it.
Speaker 13 (20:36):
Just walk away.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
No, I don't think I can do that because I've
got to give the ticket to the car. So, like,
if someone attacks you, dom, Like, how do you like?
Speaker 4 (20:43):
I've seen you and Garry Ann Kennelly go at it,
you know what I mean? Like you held your grand's
what's the key to that?
Speaker 8 (20:48):
Ten seconds?
Speaker 14 (20:48):
Look, I probably can't say it on radio.
Speaker 15 (20:51):
Say it, Tom, We've only got ten seconds seven time.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
I'm not sure if I'm going to be in the job.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
Nothing good can come from sleeping in a different bed
in a different location.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Would you agree with that statement? Yes, because your bearings are.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Just right off right, Like you're in You're in a
new room, the toilet's in a new place, and I
just think if you wake up in the middle of
the night, are we talking.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Like from the perspective of a five year old, no,
as a thirty year old.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Let me tell you a quick story.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
So I was away on the weekend, so I'm in
a different bed. Okay, So I'm sleeping in a bed
with my partner, mim though, And it just so happens
that the way that we set up, we we ended
up going on different sides.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Of the bed from what from what you? Wow, that's weird.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
As soon as we get to any foreign bed, it's
just like, assume your position.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Don't even talk about it. Why did just what?
Speaker 10 (22:01):
So?
Speaker 5 (22:01):
I think our number one rule is I'm closest to
the door, of course, And because the door was on
the different, different side set up, it's for me, it's.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Just if you're never go to the door, yeah, fair enough,
fair enough, sacrificial lamb spot and.
Speaker 5 (22:14):
To be honest and would be a better fighter than
you if an intrudu absolute anyway, that's the way we
do it. And because of the way the door was
set up, I was on a different side to what
I'm usually like.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Okay, so you're already you're you're playing away and then
you're playing away from away.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
It's so confusing.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
Anyway, I wake up in the middle of the night,
it's all dark, and usually what I do at home
if I wake up in the middle of the night
and I have a little bit of gas, is I
open up the doner, hang my bottom out at the
edge of the beard and let it go out so
it's not going to disturb her sleep. Now you're already
(22:51):
putting together what's happened here. I'm on the other side,
so I think I'm doing this chivalrous thing, and I
think I'm putting my bottom over the edge of the
bed dunes out. I had put my bottom like right
up like towards this.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Day, half asleep. I'm half asleep, well, and it's automatic.
It's automatic.
Speaker 5 (23:16):
So I just put my right into her and so
she wakes up to an all mighty fart.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
And shock of her and she.
Speaker 8 (23:27):
Was like, what did you did?
Speaker 5 (23:29):
You just point it towards me and decide to absolutely
erupt on me and I and at that point I
was like, oh my.
Speaker 8 (23:35):
God, what are you doing there? Why are you out
of the bed?
Speaker 5 (23:39):
And then I was like, oh, hang on a second,
I've gone the wrong way? Is I just I just
think bad things happen when you sleep in a different
bed in a different location.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
And I'm sure I'm not the only person who has
a story here.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
Thirteen one oh sixty five is our number. What happened
when you slept in a different bed?
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Well, famously, a friend of ours was staying in a
hotel room. He thought the hotel door was the bathroom door.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Woke up in the middle of the night, node sleeps nude.
Woke up in the middle of the night. It was like,
oh great, there's the bathroom. Just because there's a little
light under the door. Open the door, And by the
time the door clicked lock, close, he realized he was
standing in the middle of the hallway of the hotel,
completely nerd, without his without a hotel card, by the way,
(24:31):
and only his boss in the room opposite. So that
that was yeah, and by the way, shouted out to
the horn if he's listening, stroke of genius, grabbed the
garbage bag from the hallway bin.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Brilliant and wore it like a dress like a poncho.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Brilliant. Yeah, actually actually quite genous.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
A little bit of doodle out the bottom every now
and then, But apart from it, that's about as bad
as it gets me.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Thirty six five. What happened when you slept in a
different location, Felicia.
Speaker 11 (25:03):
This was last year, Yeah, almost a year ago. It's
my fiftieth birthday. Yeah, And I got up to go
to the toilet. It was dark. I was in the
hotel room with my husband, and I went to the loop,
came back and thought the bed was nice and white
and fluffy and gorgeous.
Speaker 9 (25:21):
I thought I would flop backwards.
Speaker 11 (25:23):
On the bed, but I missed the bed and fell
on the hard concrete floor and broke my shoulder into places.
And it's still hurts, it's still, sergeant.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
But there's nothing worse than thanks, Felicia.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Thinking that something like in your subconsciousness, assuming that something
is there or something is going to catch you. Yeah,
and it not been there At the moment when it's
not there, it's just so scary. There's like half a
second there. If I could, if I could make a
compilation on YouTube of the moment when people realized that, yes,
(26:02):
the seat wasn't there, that would be the best thing ever.
Speaker 5 (26:06):
You were at the house party when my mat and
mum playing Tiggy in the house, and I went to
go and run outside and it was a.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
Full wall length window.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
Yes, And I hit windows, shattered window and fell back.
And I genuinely thought that moment that I'd hit an
alien force field.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Your mind just can't catch.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Up because you're just happened. I'm drawing straight down the
wall here. I love that. For most people, they'd be like, oh,
must have been some glass. I hadn't seen.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
It was too quick, you quick, someone who with a
force field.
Speaker 5 (26:37):
Let's go to story Zoe, what happened in a when
you slept in a different location.
Speaker 9 (26:43):
I was at a friend's wedding with my partner, staying
in a hotel afterwards. Then, in my very broken sleep,
with my vivid dreams, I lifted my hand up and
smacked down as hard as I could onto his meat
and true edge.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Ah the foreign bed or is that just the dream?
Speaker 9 (27:04):
I think I must have been sleeping funny in the.
Speaker 14 (27:07):
Bed right right dream.
Speaker 9 (27:09):
I vaguely remember doing it. I'm not sure the dream.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
What was the what was the moment in the dream?
Speaker 9 (27:15):
I can't even remember.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
I just slapping down on a like slapping down like
a warrant or something.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Maybe you were my demand to search this peters you know,
well I don't know, Like what, well, well, well that's
what she's you know.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
The funny thing is that has nothing to do with
being in a different bed.
Speaker 5 (27:33):
I agree with you, she had my dream she smacked
her partner on the tod have you.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I've had a few, like recently where I've had where
I've been having sexy dreams and I've made a bit
of a play on sam.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
Oh interest, that's really but I don't remember it at all.
Speaker 8 (27:48):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (27:48):
So she tells you that in the morning after, like, hey,
you tried to.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
Oh no, She'll often wake me up at the time.
She was like, well, well, no, no.
Speaker 8 (27:56):
I'm not Hoolliana.
Speaker 4 (27:57):
I'm not Hooliana. Let's go to of course, because you're
in no control there, you're in no control.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Let's go to Shauna on thurday one.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Imagine if you were sleeping next to me, Hi, Shauna,
I'm getting on ki tour.
Speaker 13 (28:13):
Sure. Yeah, So I went on the Katiki just before
COVID And of course, like Kentikies, you're in like funk
beds and stuff like this. So I normally sits in
the queen side like single, enjoy my life.
Speaker 11 (28:22):
Whatever.
Speaker 14 (28:23):
Anyway, I went.
Speaker 13 (28:24):
Over there and they put me on a top bunk
and about half president I rolled the wrong way and
ended up smacking myself into the bedside table and ended
up with six stitches in New Zealand.
Speaker 9 (28:33):
So that was fun.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Six ditches in New Zealand all the places. Emily's wait,
what didn't in the country there, did you? Emily? On
thirty one and six five.
Speaker 12 (28:48):
Emily, I can't believe I'm called I'm embarrassed to tell
this story.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Awesome, that's the best story.
Speaker 12 (28:54):
If I don't laugh at myself, then yeah, there won't
be there won't be a story in itself. We're the
Hen's Night down in Melbourne, staying in a hotel room.
So I was staying with her, a girl that i'd
met for the first time. When now I got extremely drunk,
got kicked out of the nightclub, got back into the room,
girl put me back into bed. So middle of the night,
I woke up to go to the bathroom and the
(29:15):
bathroom book doors like narrow and small.
Speaker 14 (29:17):
So I got up, worked my way around like the
room could fill the door, went in, went to the
toilet and then Midwi. I heard the girl go, Emily, stop,
and I stopped Midwi, like opened my eyes and realized
I was sitting on the chair in the hotel room
seeking it was the toilet, peeking all over the floor.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
You know, Emily, Apparently with men, once you lose that inhibition,
you can't get it back.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
So have you done this since?
Speaker 14 (29:45):
So embarrassed?
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Have you done it since?
Speaker 7 (29:48):
Emily?
Speaker 14 (29:48):
No way?
Speaker 4 (29:50):
I want weed on MIM's mum's car, thinking it was
the toilet.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
What I said to you before the song, I'm going
to put you in the place you most want to
be some staneously that is the place you least want
to be.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
What do you think that is?
Speaker 4 (30:03):
I figured it out. Yeah, it's a Miley Cyrus concert.
Speaker 5 (30:06):
I love Miley Cyrus so much, but I have noise sensitivity,
so I wouldn't want to be at a concert.
Speaker 4 (30:11):
That would be my purgatory.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Good answer, it's heaven and Hell. It's a great answer.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
So we're going to take you the long way to
get there because it's more torturous for you.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
So I'm going to take you to Norway.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
Okay, never been, No. I think people are very happy
in Norway. I think so in Norway.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
There was a story today and this suggests maybe they're
not as happy as you think they are, ah where
they are expecting a well, sorry, they're experiencing an unexpected
health crisis. Oh no, seven hundred thousand people in Norway
have found themselves in the grip of a nasal spray addiction,
(31:00):
a sniff stick addiction. No why between twenty eighteen twenty two,
thirty six percent surge in sales, and they think the
number of sniff sticks sold in twenty twenty two alone
was eight point eight million sniff sticks.
Speaker 8 (31:14):
Get out.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
They think that in the.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
US the number is close to approaching the ten million mark.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
They're so good, so it's the only good thing about
getting sick.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
And then there's a bit of research I did on
this and apparently it is well regarded within medical circles
as a fact that chemical nasals praise are as addictive
as morphine.
Speaker 5 (31:35):
Yep, well, I've never, never, never had morphine before, so
I can't speak to the addiction around morphine. But I
can tell you that as soon as I as soon
as I have a few sniffs, and look, I'm gonna
be fully honest here, I don't do it out of leisure,
I get sick, and I get a block to nasal.
The problem for me, arise, is that after I've started sniffing,
I can't stop.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
No, I know, you just walk around with it hanging
out of your nose.
Speaker 5 (31:55):
Well, when I keep them in locations, Turf got one
in the studio, I've got one in the car. I've
got three at home in different locations. So I'm always
within reach of a sniff stick. Jesus Christ, I'm an addict.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
So you and you, you, and you're the first person
to say this. You have a very addictive personality.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Yes, so I'm all or nothing. Yeah, so let's let's
have a think about you. So you've got the sniff
stick addiction.
Speaker 8 (32:14):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (32:15):
Nuts, nuts, yep. I either have a lot of nuts
or no nuts.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
To the point where you've had to cancel out certain
nuts from your eating regime because you've effectively forced yourself
into being allergic to them.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
Yes, you've have.
Speaker 5 (32:30):
So you have so many of them, yep. Tuna sushi sushi.
Like I used to go to sushi sushi and just go,
how many have you got?
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Flows me up? Juna sushi nuts.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Yeah, and they're weird because it goes away from just
the ingestibles as well. The movie Gladiator. I believe you
watched up to three hundred times in one year.
Speaker 5 (32:50):
At least at least you know, in our final year
of school, I would watch Gladiator daily.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I know so so probably suggests how you did at
school foot massages. Foot massages are up there.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
I got addicted to foot massages.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah, So what I want to do because none of
these are illicit, Like obviously, if you talk addictions, we're
often you know, talking drugs, or you know, something nasty, sex,
you know these sorts of naughty things.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Nasty.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
My addictions are kind of dorky.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Yes, but nevertheless, I think that given that they are
relatively safe for most people, what I wouldn't mind doing.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Just because I just want to see what happens. This
is just purely curious me.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Don't bring in my addictions, please, So you can't. You can't.
You can't, Well, we're going to what we're going to do,
will you can't.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
I just want to see problem. I just want to
see what happens.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
I just want to see what happens to you if
we at the same time let you or make you
sniff a sniff stick pretty aggressively, whilst also eating peanut butter.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
Do I get a dual nostril?
Speaker 8 (33:58):
It?
Speaker 4 (33:59):
Can you get me too? Sniffty? Yeah, I think I've
got ten around the station.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Whilst whilst watching the speech from the movie Gladiator.
Speaker 8 (34:12):
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
What do you? What do you?
Speaker 1 (34:16):
I mean, We're going to see how this plays out
up next, but how do you what do you think
is gonna happen?
Speaker 4 (34:20):
I think I'm going to pass out. Okay, it'll be
too much, It'll be too much.
Speaker 6 (34:25):
Joy.
Speaker 4 (34:28):
I really think I'm gonna.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Pass So sorry, We've brought in some of your what
we'll call PG addictions because I honestly, just as a
as a scientist, you're shaking.
Speaker 4 (34:39):
I'm not shaking shaking. I'm very excited, sweating as well,
very excited.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Okay, so got three of the things that you're I
think most addicted to, so sniff sticks.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Yeah, fair enough, sniff dis.
Speaker 8 (34:54):
Yeah, I'm not grind.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
There's there's a lot of emotion going on right now. Okay,
I love all of it.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Okay, so you love sniff sticks.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
We just found doubt that seven hundred thousand people are
a reporter as addicted to sniff sticks in Norway, And
it's been apparently said that apparently sniff sticks are addictive.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Is morphine you have? At least you? I mean, did
do you finish it? I mean I've never had a
sniffstick before, Like, how quickly do you get through it?
Speaker 4 (35:17):
The great thing about a sniffstick is at lasts for ages.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
But you've often told me that when you because I
know I've seen you crack one before and the first
one goes in and you hold it in there for
a while.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
Well, nothing like a fresh stick.
Speaker 10 (35:30):
You.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
We're talking about a snifstick, by the way, everyone, we're
talking about a Vic's sniffstick.
Speaker 4 (35:33):
You know when you open tennis balls.
Speaker 5 (35:35):
Yes, oh, that's like the first crack of a sniff stick.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
All right, And then we're walking the line here. Oh,
I just think inhaling things, I.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Don't think it's just men though, man and something called
camp four.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Okay, all right, So what we've got is got two
sniff sticks for you. We've got all your addictions in
one spot. We've got two stip sticks for you. We've
got a jar of peanut butter.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
Is your your heart, your heart, My heart's gone up.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
We've got two stiff sticks.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
We have a jar of peanut butter in which case
in which you have a heaped dessert spoon of the
peanut butter on a spoon.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
And we've got your third addiction. You watch the movie.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
You watch the movie Gladiator three hundred times in a
calendar year once. So you're going to watch the speech
from Gladiator on your laptop.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Okay, we're gonna have that on mute.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Just so that it doesn't confuse things, but we will
play the Gladiator music as this unfolds.
Speaker 5 (36:30):
Okay, do you want me to do it all at once,
like just get them all in.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
I reckon or do you think like a little bit
of a like a chat with you as we go? Okay,
so maybe if we start, let's start with the sniff sticks.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
Be my pleasure.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Well, my god. Okay, so you're dual wielding.
Speaker 5 (36:46):
You're going out, which which I don't usually do. But
you know, when in Rome, just there is nothing like it.
You just it's like it's like the freshest show you've
ever had.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
But internally, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (37:05):
It's like having the freshest. It's like, it's like you've
never felt cleaner, but you haven't had to deal you
haven't had to deal with the admin of getting wet.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 6 (37:16):
Like?
Speaker 4 (37:16):
I feel cleanse like I wish I could live like this.
I wish I could live in a world I wish.
Have you seen the movie June? You know, you know
in June when they're in the desert and they've got
a thing up their nose. If that was sniff stick
for me, that is my heaven.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
You hold them up there. Next we're going to go
the peanut butter. You're going to keep the sniff sticks
in there. Okay, how are you.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Actually getting hot right now?
Speaker 8 (37:45):
You feel like Darth Vader?
Speaker 3 (37:46):
You've changed something.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
I feel good something.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
You're really good. I feel like me. All of a sudden,
I finally feel like me. Welcome home.
Speaker 8 (37:55):
Let's okay.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
What do you know.
Speaker 9 (38:14):
Now?
Speaker 3 (38:14):
The Gladdy?
Speaker 6 (38:15):
I know it's.
Speaker 11 (38:20):
What we.
Speaker 8 (38:22):
What we so look at his.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
Eyes, looking his eyes. You're waiting for this moment. Tell
him how you are.
Speaker 8 (38:34):
That session.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
I don't think we can broke out anymore of this.
Speaker 3 (38:37):
That's feeling you listen.
Speaker 8 (38:42):
Crying drop.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
This Okay, okay, take you tell him where you are.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Take us out, Take us out, Take us out.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Copp take us out his out Coppet.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Comment us, He's alive, comment us well.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Australia's tallest.
Speaker 6 (39:07):
Unbelievable Australia's biggest arts festival, Adelaide Fringe from sixteen to
March seventeen.
Speaker 8 (39:12):
Tickets at Adelaide Fringe dot.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Com dot at you unbelievable. As I was saying, I
love it when the credit cuts you off. Hey, right now, seriously,
it's ten thousand bucks just for having a great yard though.
Woods Williamo dot com if you want to register that story.
It's happening at the Adelaide friend. We're going to be
in the Wonderlandspiegel Tent next Thursday night, so come on.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
Down if you are in Adelaide. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
I think the show starts at eight thirty pm, so yeah,
come on.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
Mist of great comedians as well. Claire Hoop is going
to be on there. Merrick.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
What's is going to be telling a great story himself,
some really great stand up plus some great storytellers.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
That's you, guys. Natalie's Gold. Natalie was my life.
Speaker 10 (39:49):
Hey, hey, so this story is that when I went
to my friend's half party. So it's just standard half party,
getting drunk and single me miets this guy and you know,
we're hitting it off and we wanted to leave the party,
so we wanted to get out of there, and we
(40:09):
couldn't go to each other's houses.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
Couldn't.
Speaker 10 (40:11):
I don't know why at the time, So we booked
a hotel and through at this hotel, and you know,
things happened this, that, and the other, and we wake
up the next morning. He's still half asleep and I
was starving, so I ordered room service and so obviously
the room service comes. He's like, you know, peeping around,
(40:34):
and I turn around once I've gotten the food, and
it's like you've seen an absolute ghost and close the door,
and I was like, what's wrong with you? And he's like,
I know this guy. And I was like, how do
you know this guy? Like what's the matter? He goes, oh,
this is the guy that works with my fiance.
Speaker 14 (40:52):
A hotel, and I was like, how did you, like not.
Speaker 10 (40:59):
Saying you think at the time, and he's just like,
I don't know, mate, Like like I was just I
was just shocked, and I was just self diressed. God
like getting out of that hotel was one nightmare because
I just didn't know if she was working like that shift.
But yeah, the colleague knew, and I don't know if
(41:19):
ye locked eyes and it was just the end for him.
Speaker 4 (41:23):
Oh yeah, do you know what ended up having? Did
she find out?
Speaker 14 (41:29):
Well?
Speaker 10 (41:29):
Yeah, because a couple of years later we so my
friends that had the house party, myself, we actually got
an invite to a wedding for that guy, but it
was for another girl. So obviously she must have found
out something or it was you know, obviously Peter was
always the cheetah. But yeah, so yeah, Ruth, I know,
(41:53):
I know. So yeah, sometimes ahead.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Well said Natalie, and there could be fun times ahead
for you.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
You're going to be sure this did a head along too.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Our Tall Towls competition is happening at the Adelaide Fringe.
If you want to come down on the night, it's
next Thursday at the Wonderland Spiegel Tent. Otherwise, if you
think you can win the ten ground, if you think
your story is better than Natalie's head along to willimany
dot com, the winner wins ten grand. As I said,
there's going to be other great comedians doing stories on
the night.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Claire Claire Hoop is going to be there.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
She is a comedian, and Merrick Wats is also going
to be down there telling some yards. Well, it's going
to be a hell of the night, guys, so please
head al on to the Wonderland speagele tent if you're
Nadelaide otherwise Williman dot com with a great yarn
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