Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
My Heart podcasts, hear More Kids podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the Free Hard.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
It feels like there couldn't be a more point in
time to be talking about mental health. With the passing
of another cell Wood brother in the AFL recently last week,
it was really full on if you're not across that obviously,
Troy Sellwood passed away and then Adam Selwood's twin brother
(00:38):
most recently, and it's just shocking, and I think everybody
is shocked. I think scared is starting to be the
word that sort of creeps in and around this at
the moment.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
I'm suicide at this level.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
I think people might have had the same experience as me.
When I saw the news pop up on Saturday, I
assumed there was a typo with the news because you know,
that was months ago that Troy Sellwood passed away. But
to think that his twin brother also goes months later, Yep.
It's really hard to put words too how devastating it is.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, and almost nonsensical for people that on the outside
this is the great tragedy with suicide, and people on
the outside who look happy, you know, healthy, have had
a lot in their lives they've been successful, they've known success,
they've got families. The idea of ending your life prematurely
seems like the most foreign thing in the world, and
yet tragically, for a lot of these people in this position,
(01:31):
that is the only opportunity, that's the only thing they
have left to do, which just doesn't make a lot
of sense. I don't think it's worth exploring why and
how people at that point get here, and hence how
for everyone listening right now you can think a little
bit more about how something like suicide might impact your life. Look,
the lifeline number is thir ten eleven fourteen. If you
want to talk to somebody and you need to speak
to someone right now, that's a great service we've got
(01:52):
in Australia. We've got Hugh Van Kyleenberg from the Resilience
Project and The Imperfects who joins us right now.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Hugh, great to have you back on, Will and Woody.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
So the reason we've got you on today obviously you've
got a wealth of experience in the mental health space.
Anyone listening to The Imperfects would know that. But specifically
you've worked with a lot of elite sports teams. Mate,
could you give us a bit of a layer of
the land there who you've worked with.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Yeahs, thanks for having me on. Yeah, it's so sad.
I just feel so sad today and have for the
last couple of days on this. But I yeah, I
have been so so lucky to work with I guess
like twelve of the AFL teams, all of every one
of the NRL teams, every one of the I League teams,
(02:36):
Australian Cricket team, men and women and materialism. But yeah,
I just just a lot and I do I do
when I work with them. I mean, they're like we
see them on TV and they look physically they're so
strong and resilient, and you know, I worked with a
lot of stuff at the coueens downstud of Orizon team.
(02:57):
You can't get a stronger looking group of people. When
something else happens, it reminds you they Yeah, they're human
like the rest of us, and they have their struggles.
And I remember when the first of the twins passed away,
I remember just looking at the photo of the family
at the funeral, standing there and I was just fixated
(03:19):
on the other twins. I come and begin to imagine
what that pain is and so yeah, to hear that
news on the weekend just utterly devastating.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Yeah, it really is, mate.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
It's hard to talk about. It's just so unbelievably sad.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
What would your if you were working with a football
club and not necessarily talking specifically about the Sellwood brothers now,
but there's a player in that club who is struggling
with their mental health and you've noticed that or picked
up on that. What kind of things are you doing
with that player to work through that if they do
have the elite sport to grapple with at the same time.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
But I can give you an example, and I can
talk about this because this player went actually he wrote
an article about this that was in the paper. This
is about five or six years ago now, so this
is not speaking without his permission here. But Charlie Dixon,
when I was at Port Adelaid Football Club, we would
talk a lot about the battles he was having with
his mental health, more specifically depression. And I remember saying
(04:18):
to him, who do you talk to at the cop
about this? And he said no one, And I said, oh,
why is that? And he said, well, my role is
to be really tough and strong, and I don't want
to appear to be not that way. And I said,
if one of your teammates, if one of your teammates
spoke to you about their depression, which you think that
was weak? And he said, no, I think it was
very strong. And I said, why is it any different
for you? And he just kind of nodded and he
(04:40):
just he could tell his understood. And over the next
six months, he wrote a letter to his teammates to
tell them what he was going through, but also thanking
them because they were the ones who kept him going
the whole time. And I was there when he read
it out to them. I was there when he read
the letter out to them to explain in detail what
he was going through, and it was, to this day
one of the most moving things I've ever seen. I
accidentally booked a very small room, so it's a very
(05:01):
tight quartis and there were forty men all hugging him
at the end and said, he said, that was the
start of his recover. Sorry, so it's a long story,
but I share that story because I do think that
being vulnerable and sharing what you're going through is the
only answer there. Because I think when you send a
message to the world or at least the people around
(05:22):
you that I'm not coping. The world wraps its arms around.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You for somebody who is struggling right now from your
experience and all the stuff that you guys do on
the imperfects and stuff where vulnerability is breathed and cherished
and loved and made into such a wonderful space. How
does somebody who listens to the imperfect or here's a
story just then about Charlie Dixon, when that language seems
(05:46):
so foreign to them. What's the first step somebody could
maybe take to start trying to crack their heart open
a little bit and share a bit of the load.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
I would say, as the first step, I would say,
write down what's in your head. Because I feel like
saying go and see a health professional, go and see
a doctor, or going people aren't really doing that. It
feels like such a monumental step. I would say, very realistically,
the first thing you could probably do is just write
right down what is in your head, right down, how
(06:15):
are you feeling, right down, why you think you feel
like that, Write down why you feel lost, right down,
why you feel stuck, and when it's on the page
in front of you, just give it some time and
then just look at it and think, Okay, it's out
of my head. Who is someone in my life that
I could maybe start to talk to, Who's someone I trusted,
I love, I know loved me that I could say
(06:36):
this stuff too, Because when you start to share it,
the end goal we want is for people to say
a psychologists and to say a therapist and work through it.
But I mean the amount of families I speak to.
I spoke to a woman up in Mildua last week
who has been through her partner took his life when
they were pregnant with their third child eight and a
half months, and she said she just didn't see it
(06:57):
coming at all. I think so often men will keep
it all inside because they're just too afraid to talk
about it. So get it out of your head on
the paper and then who can I share this with?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Hey Hue goadvice, what are the signs to pick up on,
maybe on if there's a man in your life, whether
it's a friend or partner, Are there any signs you
can pick up on to kind of kind of twig
that maybe they're not right?
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Sometimes? Yeah, there are sometimes, but sometimes that's not And
I just for anyone listening who has lost someone to suicide,
You know, you probably didn't miss anything. I think a
lot of men are really holding inside. But I think
you know, things like irritability or maybe in much shorter
temper penny of my life. If you're listening, that's not me.
I'm just terrible. But yeah, I think change of sleep
(07:44):
patterns are really big one as well, strut struggling to sleep,
feeling like they're a bit more reclusive, a little bit
more distant. They are other things, but they're not. It's
not always, unfortunately, that is you're to spot.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
No, that's the issue. That's the that's why this is
such an epidemic. Is it's nearly impossible.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
It's a spot.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Hugh, thanks so much for joining us, mate, and for sharing,
as always your insights and you is you can listen
to You and the Imperfect podcast, so you can. I mean,
you can see this guy anyway. Honestly, I saw a
Resilience Project poster taped up at my daughter's daycare on
the weekend.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
And I was like, Jesus, we can leave me alone.
Kylin Berg.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
I'm running around down.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
He's doing the kindergartens, he's expanding.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
He's also a wonderful man with a great message who's
already touched a lot of hearts and continues to break barriers.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
So, Hugh, thank you so much for joining us. Mate.
We love you and thanks for your wise words.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Love you very much, boys, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Thanks, see you later, Hugh Van Kyleenberg. There on Will
and Woody Lifeline thirteen eleven fourteen is the number to
call there.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
It's a big problem, guys.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
It's a problem with not a lot of answers, and
it really is reliant on the people who are suffering
to start finding ways to get in touch with how
they're suffering and communicate that.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Because great step to write it there, and I think
take away the pressure of showing someone as well. I'd
like it's just first step, write it down and you
don't have to get it twenty one.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
But I think that's so good from you.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Absolutely see your thoughts and then maybe you can find
some space between them and away from them.
My Heart podcasts, hear More Kids podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the Free Hard.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
It feels like there couldn't be a more point in
time to be talking about mental health. With the passing
of another cell Wood brother in the AFL recently last week,
it was really full on if you're not across that obviously,
Troy Sellwood passed away and then Adam Selwood's twin brother
(00:38):
most recently, and it's just shocking, and I think everybody
is shocked. I think scared is starting to be the
word that sort of creeps in and around this at
the moment.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
I'm suicide at this level.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
I think people might have had the same experience as me.
When I saw the news pop up on Saturday, I
assumed there was a typo with the news because you know,
that was months ago that Troy Sellwood passed away. But
to think that his twin brother also goes months later, Yep.
It's really hard to put words too how devastating it is.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, and almost nonsensical for people that on the outside
this is the great tragedy with suicide, and people on
the outside who look happy, you know, healthy, have had
a lot in their lives they've been successful, they've known success,
they've got families. The idea of ending your life prematurely
seems like the most foreign thing in the world, and
yet tragically, for a lot of these people in this position,
(01:31):
that is the only opportunity, that's the only thing they
have left to do, which just doesn't make a lot
of sense. I don't think it's worth exploring why and
how people at that point get here, and hence how
for everyone listening right now you can think a little
bit more about how something like suicide might impact your life. Look,
the lifeline number is thir ten eleven fourteen. If you
want to talk to somebody and you need to speak
to someone right now, that's a great service we've got
(01:52):
in Australia. We've got Hugh Van Kyleenberg from the Resilience
Project and The Imperfects who joins us right now.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Hugh, great to have you back on, Will and Woody.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
So the reason we've got you on today obviously you've
got a wealth of experience in the mental health space.
Anyone listening to The Imperfects would know that. But specifically
you've worked with a lot of elite sports teams. Mate,
could you give us a bit of a layer of
the land there who you've worked with.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Yeahs, thanks for having me on. Yeah, it's so sad.
I just feel so sad today and have for the
last couple of days on this. But I yeah, I
have been so so lucky to work with I guess
like twelve of the AFL teams, all of every one
of the NRL teams, every one of the I League teams,
(02:36):
Australian Cricket team, men and women and materialism. But yeah,
I just just a lot and I do I do
when I work with them. I mean, they're like we
see them on TV and they look physically they're so
strong and resilient, and you know, I worked with a
lot of stuff at the coueens downstud of Orizon team.
(02:57):
You can't get a stronger looking group of people. When
something else happens, it reminds you they Yeah, they're human
like the rest of us, and they have their struggles.
And I remember when the first of the twins passed away,
I remember just looking at the photo of the family
at the funeral, standing there and I was just fixated
(03:19):
on the other twins. I come and begin to imagine
what that pain is and so yeah, to hear that
news on the weekend just utterly devastating.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Yeah, it really is, mate.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
It's hard to talk about. It's just so unbelievably sad.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
What would your if you were working with a football
club and not necessarily talking specifically about the Sellwood brothers now,
but there's a player in that club who is struggling
with their mental health and you've noticed that or picked
up on that. What kind of things are you doing
with that player to work through that if they do
have the elite sport to grapple with at the same time.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
But I can give you an example, and I can
talk about this because this player went actually he wrote
an article about this that was in the paper. This
is about five or six years ago now, so this
is not speaking without his permission here. But Charlie Dixon,
when I was at Port Adelaid Football Club, we would
talk a lot about the battles he was having with
his mental health, more specifically depression. And I remember saying
(04:18):
to him, who do you talk to at the cop
about this? And he said no one, And I said, oh,
why is that? And he said, well, my role is
to be really tough and strong, and I don't want
to appear to be not that way. And I said,
if one of your teammates, if one of your teammates
spoke to you about their depression, which you think that
was weak? And he said, no, I think it was
very strong. And I said, why is it any different
for you? And he just kind of nodded and he
(04:40):
just he could tell his understood. And over the next
six months, he wrote a letter to his teammates to
tell them what he was going through, but also thanking
them because they were the ones who kept him going
the whole time. And I was there when he read
it out to them. I was there when he read
the letter out to them to explain in detail what
he was going through, and it was, to this day
one of the most moving things I've ever seen. I
accidentally booked a very small room, so it's a very
(05:01):
tight quartis and there were forty men all hugging him
at the end and said, he said, that was the
start of his recover. Sorry, so it's a long story,
but I share that story because I do think that
being vulnerable and sharing what you're going through is the
only answer there. Because I think when you send a
message to the world or at least the people around
(05:22):
you that I'm not coping. The world wraps its arms around.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You for somebody who is struggling right now from your
experience and all the stuff that you guys do on
the imperfects and stuff where vulnerability is breathed and cherished
and loved and made into such a wonderful space. How
does somebody who listens to the imperfect or here's a
story just then about Charlie Dixon, when that language seems
(05:46):
so foreign to them. What's the first step somebody could
maybe take to start trying to crack their heart open
a little bit and share a bit of the load.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
I would say, as the first step, I would say,
write down what's in your head. Because I feel like
saying go and see a health professional, go and see
a doctor, or going people aren't really doing that. It
feels like such a monumental step. I would say, very realistically,
the first thing you could probably do is just write
right down what is in your head, right down, how
(06:15):
are you feeling, right down, why you think you feel
like that, Write down why you feel lost, right down,
why you feel stuck, and when it's on the page
in front of you, just give it some time and
then just look at it and think, Okay, it's out
of my head. Who is someone in my life that
I could maybe start to talk to, Who's someone I trusted,
I love, I know loved me that I could say
(06:36):
this stuff too, Because when you start to share it,
the end goal we want is for people to say
a psychologists and to say a therapist and work through it.
But I mean the amount of families I speak to.
I spoke to a woman up in Mildua last week
who has been through her partner took his life when
they were pregnant with their third child eight and a
half months, and she said she just didn't see it
(06:57):
coming at all. I think so often men will keep
it all inside because they're just too afraid to talk
about it. So get it out of your head on
the paper and then who can I share this with?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Hey Hue goadvice, what are the signs to pick up on,
maybe on if there's a man in your life, whether
it's a friend or partner, Are there any signs you
can pick up on to kind of kind of twig
that maybe they're not right?
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Sometimes? Yeah, there are sometimes, but sometimes that's not And
I just for anyone listening who has lost someone to suicide,
You know, you probably didn't miss anything. I think a
lot of men are really holding inside. But I think
you know, things like irritability or maybe in much shorter
temper penny of my life. If you're listening, that's not me.
I'm just terrible. But yeah, I think change of sleep
(07:44):
patterns are really big one as well, strut struggling to sleep,
feeling like they're a bit more reclusive, a little bit
more distant. They are other things, but they're not. It's
not always, unfortunately, that is you're to spot.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
No, that's the issue. That's the that's why this is
such an epidemic. Is it's nearly impossible.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
It's a spot.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Hugh, thanks so much for joining us, mate, and for sharing,
as always your insights and you is you can listen
to You and the Imperfect podcast, so you can. I mean,
you can see this guy anyway. Honestly, I saw a
Resilience Project poster taped up at my daughter's daycare on
the weekend.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
And I was like, Jesus, we can leave me alone.
Kylin Berg.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
I'm running around down.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
He's doing the kindergartens, he's expanding.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
He's also a wonderful man with a great message who's
already touched a lot of hearts and continues to break barriers.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
So, Hugh, thank you so much for joining us. Mate.
We love you and thanks for your wise words.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Love you very much, boys, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Thanks, see you later, Hugh Van Kyleenberg. There on Will
and Woody Lifeline thirteen eleven fourteen is the number to
call there.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
It's a big problem, guys.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
It's a problem with not a lot of answers, and
it really is reliant on the people who are suffering
to start finding ways to get in touch with how
they're suffering and communicate that.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Because great step to write it there, and I think
take away the pressure of showing someone as well. I'd
like it's just first step, write it down and you
don't have to get it twenty one.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
But I think that's so good from you.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Absolutely see your thoughts and then maybe you can find
some space between them and away from them.
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