September 15, 2025 • 5 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
My heart podcasts, hear more kids podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the Free iHeart a.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
If you're just joining us, we're talking about this sounds
like we're an academic show.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
We're not.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
But there's this fascinating study from the Trobe University which
you're talking about, which actually concerns sex education for kids.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
So have you got kids who want to listen up?
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Or actually, just if you're a dude and you had
a really weird sex education, you also probably want to
listen up because the study found out that there's a
huge gap in dad's giving sex education to their kids
and as a result, there are hugely concerning results for
young boys.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
And talk a little bit more about this. Doctor Justinson
Coolson joins us again on Will and Woody.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Welcome, Doctor just Win you guys. Great to have you
on here. Mate.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
So I understand that you are actually in the middle
of writing a book and you've just finished writing a
chapter on this.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
Yeah, I'm writing a book about boys, will be out
early next year. Do you at the publisher at the
end of this week, So I'm under the path. When
I got the call, I was like, I've got to
talk about it.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
All right, great, well, we appreciate the time, mate.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
So I imagine you've probably come across this study in
your research.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Then what is this?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
How is dad's not affecting not talking to young boys
about sex affecting them?
Speaker 5 (01:23):
This is such a tricky one to answer, guys, But fundamentally,
what's happening is the load is falling on mum's dads
are shirking it and especially for our boys. So here's
some status that will blow your mind. Australian child male
treatment study published last year, probably the best study of
its kind, certainly in Australia, maybe one of the best
in the world, found that twenty eight and a half
percent twenty eight and a half percent, nearly a third
(01:45):
of Australian's experienced childhood sexual abuse, female thirty seven point three percent,
males eighteen point eight percent. So girls twice is liking
to abuse as boys. But just pause on that for
a sect. That means one in five boys as well
are experiencing sexual assault in the lives. These are really
big numbers and a lot of this happens because we're
not talking about consent, we're not talking about sex, we're
not talking about sexual violence. When we're actually not having
(02:07):
the conversation. Now, there's another really critical thing to highlight
here in research where boys, teenage boys are interviewed about this,
as much as they pretend that they don't care, they
don't want to know, and they know it all already,
they actually consistently say that they want to hear about
it specifically from their dad.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, and so why is it important justin for the dads?
Do you think to be doing this rather than mum?
Speaker 5 (02:33):
I think, as I'm writing this book about boys, one
of the key things that anthropologists, sociologist, psychologist, pretty much
everyone agrees on is Masculinity is learnt by watching other men.
Masculinity is not playing that we just become. We actually
have to watch other men do it. And there's probably
not Probably there's no relationship more important than the sexual relationship,
(02:53):
the intimate relationship, the partner relationship between the mum and dad,
between a husband and wife, between the people who are
biologically creating their offspring. And so when a kid, when
a sixteen year old or a fourteen year old or
an eleven year old boy sits down with his dad
and he's able to talk to his child about that
pro creative process and about things like consent. It just
(03:15):
changes the game. And t I'm an ambassador for the
federal governments Teach Consent Can't Wait campaign, and we're just
we're having this conversation all wrong, guys, We're having it
all wrong. And that accounts for why so many kids
are struggling with it so much.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
And justin I was keen to know from you, like,
if the dads aren't going to have that chat to
their teenage boys, what are the dangers then of those
boys learning about sexual education through the internet.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Pornography is the number one sex educator of our young
people today in our society. And while I'm not a
consumer of it, I know that many adults works of
the show aren't. There's plenty of people who are as well,
and they will tell you right away that pornography is
not for children. The average age of exposure we think,
I mean, it varies by culture, it varies by gender,
it varies by a whole lot of other factors, but
on average we think it's about eleven, maybe twelve. So
(04:04):
you think about you think about the content that it
keeps being exposed to with online pornography, and they're having
that sexual.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Scripture written for them.
Speaker 5 (04:14):
Like the average first kiss, average first kiss is fifteen,
So by the time they had that first kiss, they've
had three years of scripting around what it's supposed to be,
what that relationship is supposed to look like. And again,
do you know what, guys, this is my biggest message
of all. A lot of parents don't want to talk
about sex and intimacy with their kids because they're like, Oh,
(04:34):
the kids already think they know and it's awkward and
what am I going to say? But why saying the
wrong stuff? Because we say, oh, you've got to use
a condom and you've got to make sure that you're
being careful and all that sort of stuff. The conversation
needs to be this, sex is awesome, and I can't
wait for you to have it at the right time
with the right person, in the right place, for the
(04:55):
right reason. And if you can tick those boxes, it's
going to be great. But if you're not taking those
four boxes, it's not the right time, not the right place,
not the right person, not the right reason, then don't
do it.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
I love that sex is awesome, don't demonize.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, this is to remove the fear factor, which is
so huge doctor, Justin Coulson.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
That is really awesome info. I know you're very busy.
What's the book called, mate? When's it out?
Speaker 5 (05:20):
The book? Well, I think it's going to be called Boys.
That's the Working Day okay, nice, early next year. Keep
an eye on it. Happy families dot com dot you
you can sign up for notifications for when it comes out.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Awesome mate. All right, mate, thanks so much for coming
on the show.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
They're fascinating insights and what's an incredibly difficult issue, so
I hopefully it'll be really helpful.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Love talking to you guys.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
See you mate, mate,
My heart podcasts, hear more kids podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the Free iHeart a.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
If you're just joining us, we're talking about this sounds
like we're an academic show.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
We're not.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
But there's this fascinating study from the Trobe University which
you're talking about, which actually concerns sex education for kids.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
So have you got kids who want to listen up?
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Or actually, just if you're a dude and you had
a really weird sex education, you also probably want to
listen up because the study found out that there's a
huge gap in dad's giving sex education to their kids
and as a result, there are hugely concerning results for
young boys.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
And talk a little bit more about this. Doctor Justinson
Coolson joins us again on Will and Woody.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Welcome, Doctor just Win you guys. Great to have you
on here. Mate.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
So I understand that you are actually in the middle
of writing a book and you've just finished writing a
chapter on this.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
Yeah, I'm writing a book about boys, will be out
early next year. Do you at the publisher at the
end of this week, So I'm under the path. When
I got the call, I was like, I've got to
talk about it.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
All right, great, well, we appreciate the time, mate.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
So I imagine you've probably come across this study in
your research.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Then what is this?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
How is dad's not affecting not talking to young boys
about sex affecting them?
Speaker 5 (01:23):
This is such a tricky one to answer, guys, But fundamentally,
what's happening is the load is falling on mum's dads
are shirking it and especially for our boys. So here's
some status that will blow your mind. Australian child male
treatment study published last year, probably the best study of
its kind, certainly in Australia, maybe one of the best
in the world, found that twenty eight and a half
percent twenty eight and a half percent, nearly a third
(01:45):
of Australian's experienced childhood sexual abuse, female thirty seven point three percent,
males eighteen point eight percent. So girls twice is liking
to abuse as boys. But just pause on that for
a sect. That means one in five boys as well
are experiencing sexual assault in the lives. These are really
big numbers and a lot of this happens because we're
not talking about consent, we're not talking about sex, we're
not talking about sexual violence. When we're actually not having
(02:07):
the conversation. Now, there's another really critical thing to highlight
here in research where boys, teenage boys are interviewed about this,
as much as they pretend that they don't care, they
don't want to know, and they know it all already,
they actually consistently say that they want to hear about
it specifically from their dad.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, and so why is it important justin for the dads?
Do you think to be doing this rather than mum?
Speaker 5 (02:33):
I think, as I'm writing this book about boys, one
of the key things that anthropologists, sociologist, psychologist, pretty much
everyone agrees on is Masculinity is learnt by watching other men.
Masculinity is not playing that we just become. We actually
have to watch other men do it. And there's probably
not Probably there's no relationship more important than the sexual relationship,
(02:53):
the intimate relationship, the partner relationship between the mum and dad,
between a husband and wife, between the people who are
biologically creating their offspring. And so when a kid, when
a sixteen year old or a fourteen year old or
an eleven year old boy sits down with his dad
and he's able to talk to his child about that
pro creative process and about things like consent. It just
(03:15):
changes the game. And t I'm an ambassador for the
federal governments Teach Consent Can't Wait campaign, and we're just
we're having this conversation all wrong, guys, We're having it
all wrong. And that accounts for why so many kids
are struggling with it so much.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
And justin I was keen to know from you, like,
if the dads aren't going to have that chat to
their teenage boys, what are the dangers then of those
boys learning about sexual education through the internet.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Pornography is the number one sex educator of our young
people today in our society. And while I'm not a
consumer of it, I know that many adults works of
the show aren't. There's plenty of people who are as well,
and they will tell you right away that pornography is
not for children. The average age of exposure we think,
I mean, it varies by culture, it varies by gender,
it varies by a whole lot of other factors, but
on average we think it's about eleven, maybe twelve. So
(04:04):
you think about you think about the content that it
keeps being exposed to with online pornography, and they're having
that sexual.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Scripture written for them.
Speaker 5 (04:14):
Like the average first kiss, average first kiss is fifteen,
So by the time they had that first kiss, they've
had three years of scripting around what it's supposed to be,
what that relationship is supposed to look like. And again,
do you know what, guys, this is my biggest message
of all. A lot of parents don't want to talk
about sex and intimacy with their kids because they're like, Oh,
(04:34):
the kids already think they know and it's awkward and
what am I going to say? But why saying the
wrong stuff? Because we say, oh, you've got to use
a condom and you've got to make sure that you're
being careful and all that sort of stuff. The conversation
needs to be this, sex is awesome, and I can't
wait for you to have it at the right time
with the right person, in the right place, for the
(04:55):
right reason. And if you can tick those boxes, it's
going to be great. But if you're not taking those
four boxes, it's not the right time, not the right place,
not the right person, not the right reason, then don't
do it.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
I love that sex is awesome, don't demonize.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, this is to remove the fear factor, which is
so huge doctor, Justin Coulson.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
That is really awesome info. I know you're very busy.
What's the book called, mate? When's it out?
Speaker 5 (05:20):
The book? Well, I think it's going to be called Boys.
That's the Working Day okay, nice, early next year. Keep
an eye on it. Happy families dot com dot you
you can sign up for notifications for when it comes out.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Awesome mate. All right, mate, thanks so much for coming
on the show.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
They're fascinating insights and what's an incredibly difficult issue, so
I hopefully it'll be really helpful.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Love talking to you guys.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
See you mate, mate,
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