In this deeply moving episode of Yarning Up, we sit down with Kyarlee Tighe, a proud Kamilaroi and Wonnarua woman whose story of resilience, strength, and advocacy is nothing short of inspiring. Kyarlee shares her journey growing up in out-of-home care, the challenges of navigating the foster system as a young Aboriginal woman, and the impact of systemic barriers on First Nations youth.
She opens up about overcoming personal and generational trauma, the importance of cultural identity in healing, and how she’s using her voice to advocate for young people in care. From her experiences as a high-level rugby league player forced into medical retirement to her current studies in nursing, Kyarlee’s story is a testament to the power of determination, connection, and self-belief.
Tune in for a powerful yarn about breaking cycles, building community, and reclaiming identity. To connect with Kyarlee and her work, including her platform Our Mob, Our Voices, visit her Instagram @kyarleetighe.
Follow Caroline on Instagram @blak_wattle_coaching and learn more about working with Caroline here!
We would like to acknowledge Aboriginal people as Australia’s First Peoples’ who have never ceded their sovereignty. We acknowledge the Wurundjeri/Woiwurrung people of the Kulin Nation where the podcast was taped. We pay our deepest respects to Traditional Owners across Australia and Elders past, present and emerging.
This podcast was brought to you by On Track Studio.
For advertising opportunities please email hello@ontrackstudio.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Black Cast Unite our voices.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
This podcast is brought to you by on Track Studio.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Welcome to Yanni Up, the podcast that showcases First Nations
stories and conversations to help us learn and unlearn Australia's
history to work towards a better future. I'm your host,
proud barber woman and founder of Blackwattel Coaching and Consulting,
(00:37):
Caroline cow. We acknowledge the Runderi people and elders where
this podcast is taped, but we also acknowledge the lands
that you are listening in from today. It always was
and always will be unseated Aboriginal and tourist Red Islander Land. Well,
(00:59):
I am so delighted and honored to be sitting in
the company of my next guest, Kiali Rose. Welcome to
Yarning Up. It is so so great to have you
here today. Yeah. I'd love to sort of start by, yeah,
letting our listeners get to know you and who you are.
So I'm wondering if you can start by, yeah, maybe
(01:21):
introducing yourself.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Massis.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yes, So, thank you for having me. It's a pleasure
to be on a podcast and show incredible story. I'm Kiali.
I'm a Pride Kim Laura and a global coal woman
from Ghana, Dha and Marie living on dur Old Country.
I'm a medically retired regular league footy player as well,
so that's tank interesting about me. I guess. I'm now
studying at the University of Woolligon doing nursing and work
(01:46):
here at the Woollyanga Indigenous Center as a student ambassador.
So I'm currently recording in on this podcast from the
space here at all younger, so shout out to them
for allowing me to use that space. A little bit
about me. I'm one of eight siblings, so I come
from a really really big family, but I was removed
from a young age. But we'll get into that a
little bit more later on. And that's a bit about me,
(02:07):
but yeah, thank you for having me on here. Wow.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Wow, what a fascinating intro. So you're you're studying nursing
and you're currently at UNI right now as.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
We Yes, I actually have a class today.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Darling, Sis, this is black women for you. Always like
doing the most out here, medically retired rugby league play,
You've got to share with me a little bit more
about that.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
It gives me such bad foma that I can't play anymore.
But I've played for so many years at club level
and a high representative level, and it was literally my lifestyle.
Like I was doing like year eleven and twelve in
high school and I'd have to leave early to go
to training. And my auntie that I now live with,
so grateful for her, she would drive me to Cronulla
(02:55):
every week. You know, I'd be on trains every week,
late at night, on my own. Don't know how I
did it, but I did. And Yeah, in twenty twenty three,
I received think it was like four concussions and it
was followed by a few sieges. So because of the
sieges and the concussions and them all being so close together,
(03:17):
I was seen by a few different doctors and nurses
that told me to stop. And I was like, oh,
these are just gamming, Like I'm not stopping this. Like
I wanted to make something out of it, and I
was doing that. I had really good opportunities playing. Unfortunately
I had to be medically retired. I was in nineteen
so I was very young to be medically retired. But
(03:40):
I also took a big impact on my mental health,
you know, going from training every day and being in
like a team environment to like literally nothing. It definitely
like changed my life and affected me a lot. But
I've now just got cleared to kind of go back
to running and go back to training because I had
(04:00):
like headaches and fatigue like ongoing getting back into the
gym and running and staying active. It's been good, but it, yeah,
will never be the same as playing again.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Wow, Oh my gosh, I'll see why.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
There's obviously a trauma associated with that, and I'm so
sorry that.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I actually brought that up.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
But I mean it's kind of one of those things
like there's this danger of playing the spot, but it's
something that you love so much.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Yeah, and like to be told to stop something that
you love, Like, I just don't think people understand it,
like as an athlete, Like I don't think other people understand.
It's been very hard past twelve months. I think it's yeah,
almost been twelve months since I haven't played a game
or really trained at all. So then I played a
(04:46):
bit of touch last year, but it's not the same.
I guess that's what led me into nursing and healthcare
a little bit, but we'll get more into that later.
It's been an interesting journey with that, but yeah, we're
doing now. So going to the gym. I actually went
this morning and my boss there.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Oh, I'm grateful to hear that through all of this
sort of loss and that you've had some time to
go back to moving your body and doing things that
feel right for you, because I imagine would be a
big part of you and your life that's missing.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
So yeah, and I had a massive passion for it.
And yeah, like I said, it was everything. But I
did like grow up doing a bit of dancing and swimming,
and yeah, footy was like my main like thin then
I just did that. I loved I loved dancing for
so long, but footy actually took over it. So I
think I was like fourteen and I had to like choose, Okay,
(05:38):
I've got to choose one or two sports. It's just
getting too much for my pop.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah yeah, oh wow, wow, Sis.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I mean, I think it gives me just and the
listeners also just a little glimpse around the richness of
your story and the fact that you're continually breaking down
barriers and doing you know, the hard stuff, including putting
your body on the line. And I want to sort
of maybe open up if I may and talk about
(06:08):
this with respect and delicacy here of course, but we
were sort of, you know, talking off air, so KIALI
was out of home care, and we sort of in
talking about what we wanted to year and together. You know,
we really wanted to tell this story because it's a
story that really needs to be told.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
And I just want to say.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
In appreciation in advance, you know, I really thank you
for being willing to come on to.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Share about this.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
So yeah, I'd love to know sort of you know,
as you mentioned, you you grew up and out of
home care, which I imagine had its unique.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Challenges and experiences.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
I'm wondering if you can kind of share a little
bit about your journey as a young Aboriginal woman in
out of home care.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, so if I say anything, I'd just like to
say to you know, all our listeners or anyone that's
listening in on the podcast, if anything triggers you, please
reach out because there is all ways support because this
can be a really heavy topic for some people to
listen in on or may trigger some So I just
wanted to put that out there. But I was in
(07:14):
out of home care from a very young age. I
think I was only three or four years old, and
I come from one of eight siblings and I've only
got two full robbers. So my two brothers and I
were putting to my nun and pop's care, so my
dad's grandparents, because at the time, if they didn't take
as in, we would have been split into foster care,
(07:35):
which is really shit. So growing up in out of
home care was so tough. ACE workers often often made
decisions without involving me or my family, leaving us with
no say in our own lives. This especially was hard
during my teenage years because in those years, I knew
who I was and what I needed, but there was
(07:55):
no chance for me to speak. I was constantly being
moved between homes, and every time a new caseworker came in,
you know, we had to repeat our story and rebuild
that trust. And the system was meant to protect us,
but it's broken and it's disorganized and disconnected. Youth homes
even you know. I was placed into a youth home
(08:16):
when I was fifteen due to my brother's behavior, and
I struggled with mental health a lot, like throughout my
whole time being in care, but especially throughout this time
because they don't support emotional healing or cultural connections. And
it was actually a worse experience than what it was,
(08:37):
you know, living in my own family home. So it
felt like the government cared more about you know, ticking
all these boxes rather than helping us. But yeah, leaving
many young people to fall through the cracks. And when
talk about mental health, I definitely experienced it when my
nan passed away. So, like I said, I was taken
(08:57):
into my nan and pop's care. My nan passed away
when I was on the EU six. I think I
was only twelve years old, so I was still a child,
and obviously being twelve, like your brain's not developed enough
to understand or comprehend like what's going on. And so
I think looking back at it, I didn't agree properly
for my NaN's passing. But then when I was fifteen,
(09:19):
my eldest brother died in a tragic accident, which really
affected my mental health because it was out of nowhere.
It was obviously not expected, you know. I woke up
one morning going to footy game actually, and I heard
the news and I played in this footy game. I
played literally in tears, so it was really heavy. And
(09:42):
then experiencing domestic violence, not just being exposed from it,
you know, from living with my parents like a victim
and a witness of it because of one of my siblings.
So I went through that for a lot of years, which, yeah,
it definitely takes a toll on your mental health and
if you don't have the right support networks there, which
there's so many women that go through domestic violence. It
(10:06):
doesn't always have to be physical. There's so many different
types of it, and it's sad because there's not enough
support and the law system is meant to enforce, you know,
all these rules and boundaries and they're not doing their
job properly. And the court system too, Like I've had
(10:26):
to go through court because of domestic violence with one
of my siblings, and the court system it's so broken,
Like it's so bad. But yeah, like my grandparents who
took me and my two old brothers in Like without them,
I wouldn't know who I would be today, and I
wouldn't know what type of life I would have, And
especially my granddad, you know, he's still here with us today.
(10:48):
He's unfortunately in a nursing home now, which is pretty recent,
which is quite sad. But without him in my life,
like I definitely wouldn't be the person I am today,
even like now him being a nursing home. He will
ridden me every day and tell me, you know, how
proud he is of me and never give up. And
he sends me little texas with emojis, but it's so compute.
(11:09):
So yeah, and like you know, I always knew I
was Aboriginal. I've always known I was Aboriginal because my
nanipop they are the honestly hats off to them because
raising free kids, their grandkids with drama like that would
have been the hardest thing to do, one hundred percent
(11:30):
so hard. But they always make sure that we were
involved with our culture, so like you know, going to
Nadok events and different things in community, and I remember
in primary school I was always heavily involved in everything culture.
So yeah, I always knew I was Aboriginal, but I
never actually knew my mob until I think I was
(11:50):
in late year seven eight. I you know, slowly grew
my own connections with community and also with my mom's
out of the family, and I was put into heats
of programs at school which really helped. And yeah, I
guess I just did like my own cultural research, and
I've just been like so into culture, Like I don't
(12:12):
even know how to explain it, because five of culture.
I just love love culture. So yeah, I'm very you know,
independent woman for everything that I've been through.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
You know.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Now I live with my auntie, So that's my pop
step daughter, but I call her my mom, like that's
my mom. So her daughter, which I call her my sister.
She's got a beautiful husband and two little babies. They
just had a baby, so cute. So they're my biggest
supporters and motivators throughout life as well, besides my grandfather. Yeah,
(12:45):
they're just incredible. Like if it wasn't for them, I
probably wouldn't even have a riff over my head. So
like their support and like their energy that I surround
myself via this is so good. Like they're just incredible people.
Has offen my cousin who just gave birth to almost
my daughter. Wow, yeah she birth's big babies. But yeah,
(13:10):
hats off to those couple because they make big ones,
but they make pretty cute babies. But yeah, Like even
when I was at school, school was hard. Primary school
wasn't as bad as high school, but I still struggled
through primary school just with you know, always seen like
when talk about like Grandparents' Day. You know, on Grandparents' Day,
(13:32):
they would have their mom and dad dad with their grandparents,
where I would only have like my dad and pop.
Which was great that I had them, but I had
a jealousy thing where I was quite jealous even of
my friends that I had. Like even now, like I
see people with their mum or their dad, I'm like, oh,
like I really wish I had that, and I really
wish I had that connection, but unfortunately I don't. And
(13:54):
I don't like to look at the negative side of
things all the time, but sometimes you need your parents,
and like, I know mine's out there. I used to
be close to one of them, and now it's just
like I know they're out there and I could connect
with them at any time, but it's not good for
my mental health and what being. And I need to
protect myself as well, you know, to be able to
(14:16):
succeed in life. I'm not going to be able to
succeed with those type of people in my life, unfortunately.
But yeah, I was always judged at primary school. You know,
it was always judgmental comments made to me by other
students just from being in kare you know the fact
that I lived with my didn't live with my parents.
(14:37):
It was really hard. And then high school here and
I don't know what happened, but my behavior just changed.
I was never in trouble in primary school and high
school hit and I was in trouble all the time, suspensions, detentions,
I was in trouble all the time. And now I
look back on it, I'm like that behavior was a
(14:59):
reflection of, you know, my living situation and my living environment.
But I was actually placed into a behavioral unit at
high school. I just guess the way they handled things
wasn't the best. I mean, the way education schools handle
bullying is never the best. It's crap. Their system is crap.
(15:21):
But I look back on it now, I'm like the
teachers I had in this behavioral unit, they were actually
really good, and without them I probably would have been
in more trouble or been expelled or you know, something
further could have happened. And I think it all came
from right after my brother passed away, so that was
in twenty nineteen. It got worse, Like the bullying got worse,
(15:43):
my behavioral got worse, I was never in class. I
hated school, but I didn't hate school because I was
still coming to school, So it was like I wanted
to be there, but I didn't. So I got suspended
once and something I really want to talk about because
I had many suspensions, but this was one suspension I
was suspended for. I don't know how long I was
(16:04):
suspended for, but I had came back and basically I
had to sit in one spot for my recess and lunch.
I had to walk from one pathway to and from class.
I had to use one puller, and I was also
followed by a teacher's aide the whole lunch and recess.
So it really made me feel very isolated because it's like,
why are you targeting me? Because if they actually looked
(16:29):
at what I was doing, I was standing up for
myself most of the time. Yes, I was probably in
the rons sometimes, but most of the time, I was
standing up for myself because I was getting bullied about
my brother's accident because you know, we're averageinal it's very
big in community. That type of accents very big around here.
Everyone knows what happened when it happened at thin and
(16:50):
then living with my pop. You know that was discussing
comments made about him, and it makes me seek like
to think people even think stuff like that, Like teenagers
they think they even think stuff is what they said,
Like it's horrible. But yeah, like I left in year twelve,
and I mean I'm here now at UNI, so I
(17:12):
didn't need school to succeed. Then some people don't, like
school's not for everyone. And when you go in through
so much at home and then trying to come to school,
it's just like how do you focus? How do you
learn properly when all you can think about is all
this stuff going on at home? And then like, you know,
(17:32):
I left school and I started working in community. So
I worked with a place called Gamara. It's owned by
own and run by a fellow called Uncle Richard Campbell.
So he lives down here, so that's his little business.
So I did like mentoring with Aboriginal students and did
like cultural like stuff just out in the community. It
(17:55):
was a great job. It was fun. Then I got
like a big opportunity to work for the Department of Education,
probably like a few months after I only had left
al so I took it. It was out of high school,
and I was just doing like Yanni Circle programs with
the Indigenous girls at a local high school, which was
very successful actually, so I'm pretty proud of that because
(18:17):
I was only eighteen at the time as well. So yeah, wow, yeah,
So most of my work has been you know, culture
and education and our community and making connections.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah wow, I'm really cool to Yeah, maybe just stop
for a moment there and kind of get into all
of that douicy stuff of what you're doing now.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
And I just want to sort of.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
You know, acknowledge your story and what it is that
you've shared, you know, hearing your journey and you know,
some of these issues that we have here in Australia
around our kids in care, you know, like for people
our overseas listeners, we have a problem here in Australia
where you know, even though our young fellows only represent.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Six percent of our youth, forty four percent are in care.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
And I guess hearing your story and you know what
you endured at at such a young age, you know,
twelve years old, fifteen, like losing your role, all that
grief and loss, and I guess to hear you still
making sense of it, I'm sure Yeah, to be on
this sort of side where you're here right now bravely
(19:29):
sharing and the fact that you are showing up for
yourself and showing up now for the mob and talking
about this is just such a reminder of the strength
and the adversity and no doubt the challenges in which
you faced.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
In going through all that.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Yeah, and I guess, yeah, I just want to acknowledge
your story in its entirety, And yeah, I really deeply
appreciate you sharing that. There are probably a lot of
people out there who have experienced advert city who aren't
in a position to share it. And it's often when
we share these things that one we kind of make
(20:12):
a little bit more sense for ourselves along the way,
but we also give other people.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Permission to ignowledge their story too.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
And there's a lot of black kids in care right
now who might not feel that they have a story
worth sharing, and that just to be reminded that they
are important and they matter.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Yeah. You see, in out of home care, there's so
much judgment and discrimination that you know, children are being
placed in out of home care or youth homes because
they're naughty kids. And that's it's the complete opposite. You're
put into care because you know, the living situation you're in,
or the people that you're in care with, or your
(20:51):
parents nothing to do with the child. And you know,
a lot of the behaviors that children do have, or
you see them troubled kids out in community, you know
a lot of that comes from trauma. You can't always
blame trauma on everything, but a lot of it comes
from trauma or generational trauma or generational you know, actions
(21:11):
and things that they've seen from their families, and they
probably think, oh, yeah, I can do that, that's all right,
But then when they grow up, they're going to realize, oh, actually, no,
that's not okay to do. I shouldn't have done any
of that.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Yeah, you're right, Like, it's not always that people are
bad or good. Sometimes it's that people lack the supports
or the resources or the skills and they need support,
not to be like ostracized from our society. They actually
need to be brought in and supported intent through that
very binary lens. Because at the end of the day,
(21:47):
I believe this and you know, even reflecting on how
I grew up too, is that any family can have
a really difficult period where things you know, are rocky
and things can happen. And in our case with community,
you know, you're right, it's not our mom. Aren't bad people,
they just sometimes don't have those those tools.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Yeah. And then like even caseworkers too, like I said before,
you know, having different case workers constantly, like that was
hard and not so much as a kid because I
didn't really understand it, but like as a teenager when
I started to understand, you know, I was having all
these different case workers come in, come out, come in,
(22:28):
come out all the time, and like trying to build
that relationship with them or that connection with them, and
then having to read tell your story like constantly. Yeah,
it was hard. It wasn't easy.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
And I wonder with that my my sister, you know,
I'd love to sort of ask you because you are
such an incredible young person.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Thank you you are you know, you are.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
A beacon, a voice and a leader and just so
so bright. I mean, there were some case workers listening
and about really prioritizing you, the young person or the
family or the you know, the care is what would
you say to these moms who were sitting in government
roles who don't have really any proximity to you and
your families. You know, what would you tell them, what
(23:10):
advice would you tell them about making sure they'd listen
and send to your voice.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Just you know, make sure they have cultural awareness training
from MALP, like you know, have MOLP delivered that, and
you know, getting down on the level of the children
in out of home care and the families and really
trying to build that connection. But not walking to the
home like you know as a big government social work
(23:36):
type of do you know what I mean, like be
culturally safe and appropriate when you work and with our mob.
You know, our mob have so much trauma and past
trauma and generational trauma. Like just going there, be open,
get down on their level, just show respect. It's not
that bad.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
I wonder like having seen any instances where like Migueloo's
on Aboriginal people have got it right and they have
really done that work and supported Yes.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yeah, I've had a few caseworkers and contact workers. I've
actually got a caseworker that I still talked to till
this day and she is incredible and I love her.
And you know, the agency I was with at the
time she had left and after that it kind of
just like she was incredible, and like I have had
(24:26):
good experiences with some caseworkers. And then you know, we
talk about youth home. So I was putting to a
youth home when I was fifteen because of my brother's behavior.
So I was actually removed from my grandfather's care, which
is really unfortunate. And I didn't have a good experience
in that youth home, you know, with the other children
(24:47):
in there, all the young people, and I also didn't
have a good experience with the youth workers I had
at the time in this particular home. It was not
it was not great. I was sent to school with
no food because I had forgotten the lunch, They wouldn't
take me to school, all different things, all different things.
They are not a nice place. So if there's anyone
(25:09):
out there, you know that's wanting to do foster care
but they just don't know, please do because I'm sure
a young child would rather be in your care than
sit in a youth home, because they are not a
place where our youth should be getting put Sometimes, you know,
it has to happen. Like myself at the time, that
was no cares, So I just you know, throwing in
(25:30):
the deepen and throwing into this house. Yeah, there's any
people who wanting to do foster care.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Please hearing what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
I think what I'm sort of taking away from that,
you know, is especially if you're a black follower and
you want to do some care, there are so many
people out there.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Yeah, please do that, because you know, if I could
go back at fifteen and have a choice, you know,
our kids don't. We don't get a choice in care.
You know, we don't get no choice. We get called
what to do, we get thrown around, we don't there's
no choice. We don't have a choice because you know,
we're under the government until eighteen. Like if I had
the choice, and I wish that was a choice for
(26:08):
kids to say, where would you like to be put?
We don't get to ask that. We don't ask that
question or get to have that question asked to us,
you know. So it's like I would rather have that
question asked to me. So if I was able to
go back I and there was a kar who was mob,
I'd go to them over a U homes.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
So yeah, yeah, will be back your mob right after
this short break. And I guess, you know, I just
(26:52):
want to sort of play back. A couple of things
that I think are important to really highlight here, which is,
you know the importance of having a caseworker that truly
listens to the voices of the peace what they're working with,
and really centers their care and builds it around culture
and connection and community. And you know, in the out
of home care system they talk about you know, child
(27:14):
placement principles and making sure that you know the young
people they know what they need they are.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Yeah, like I knew what I.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Just listen to these fellows.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
They'll tell you exactly what is going on for them,
and so that's really important. And then I think also too,
you know the importance of having more foster cares, more
Black cares, and changing this narrative of stigmatized people as
good and bad and putting them into these youth homes.
You know, you spoke it before about your nan and
(27:47):
pop and they sound like really wonderful people.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yes, they sound like really loving, deadly people.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
And you mentioned how they sort of ensure that you
were wrapped up in your culture the best you could.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
And we're all on our journeys and I.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
Guess that you know, embracing culture has been really powerful
for your healing.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Yes, really inspiring.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
I guess to hear how that connection to culture has
guided you, and so I'm keen to understand.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Yeah, what role do you think culture has played for
you in healing?
Speaker 3 (28:21):
And are there any particular practices or people or places
that you visit to to strengthen you know, your spirit
a bit.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Yeah, well, my grandparents, like my nun's not here with
us anymore, but my pop still is so so grateful
for that. But yeah, like they're just so incredible. Even
before we were legally placed into their care, we were
always with them, always with them. It was just trying
to get that legal custody, which they got. And you know,
(28:50):
I'm just so lucky because you know, to be around
the people I am around today in my family and
the you know, family doesn't always have to be blood,
and my grandparents aren't my blood because they adopted my dad.
But you don't look at it like that, Like I
never look at it like that, And when I have
to think about it like that, sometimes I'm like, oh,
that's a weird, Like you know, yeah, I don't think,
(29:12):
we don't think, we don't think like that at all whatsoever.
But like you know, they were honestly the best they spent.
I don't know how much money they spent on my sport,
but it probably said them broke by the end of it,
because yeah, I was such a sporty kid. Even my brothers,
like they played so much footy too. So all that
(29:33):
money they've spent on that and then like getting to
go overseas like a gone overseas, a gone on cruise,
sh it's gone on holidays. You know, not many kids
get to experience that or even through sport like, so
I'm very grateful that, you know, I had the positive
impact in my life by my grandparents. And yeah, like
my healing and my connection to my culture is really
(29:56):
important for me. Especially healing in a culturally safe way
for me is really important. I heal by you know,
yearning with mob like what we're doing today, Like that
gets stuff off my chest, you know, like and building
my own connections and then sharing my story. That's a
part of my healing. And there's a woman's healing group
(30:16):
at the Ill Around Aboriginal Medical Center, so they support
women in healing and you know, women that have came
from all sorts of life and they've played a big
key part in my life as well as wily younger.
Where I'm sitting today, so I'm at the Indigenous Center
at the Yearni. Even the support networks here, like it's incredible,
(30:37):
Like it's yeah, it's cool, you know, just doing like
cultural dance and traditional art. I started doing art after
my brother passed, so it was, you know, a big
healing for me, big killing parts. And then I guess
one of the biggest cultural highlights I had was it
was an unreal experience. I got to present an acknowledgment
(31:00):
of country last year, the Annerl Dragons in this round. Wow,
that experience was it was unreal, Like I gotta go
in the shed and the coaches and yeah, it was crazy.
It was so good. And yeah, it's definitely the biggest
cultural highlight that I've got so far, you know, my
(31:24):
healing and my connection to culture. Yeah, I'm also working
as a really younger Shoulden ambassador, so part of my
role is to entaur the next generation and set them
up for success.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Wow, well, my Cis, you are too deadly. You are yeah,
just shining so brightly, my Cis. And I mean, yet's
so beautiful to hear that there are many things in
your toolkit that have been useful for you, like art
and yarning. And then hearing what you were saying before,
was that not only is it helpful for you to
(32:01):
yearn your story out and speak on it so you're
not sitting in it, but also then you're going and
holding yarning circles for other women.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
To share their stories.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
How powerful that you're using your talents and gifts as medicine.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Father.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Yeah, and I also have a website that has I
think it's got free stories. So I've written them up
myself and they're like, you know, I'm so passionate about
my culture, and I write things up in my notes
all the time, like stories like just out of nowhere,
Like obviously don't write things up. I'm I really want
to share that. So I've actually created my own website.
(32:38):
It's called our mob our Voices. There is a password
to get access to the website, so it's all in capitals.
It's mob to zero two five voices. So yeah, anyone
wants to go check it out, please do. But yeah,
I'm not actually sure if you can find it on Google,
if it's just through my link on my socials. But
(32:58):
my socials it's just kari time, so you just want
to find it. Yeah, go on, will be sure.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
To put all these details in our in our notes
for you so that people can easily follow along, because
I'm sure there's lots of.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
People who are really interested in following.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yeah, and I mean they're free rereadom like, get some
even if you're not more rereaedom, you get an understanding.
I think there's one in there I've written about mental
health in out of home care, trying to break that sigma.
And there was another one I can't remember the top
of my head, but yeah, just go in there and
read them, like, honestly, it's so worth it, so worth
(33:36):
reading even if you're not. Also cultural safety, cultural awareness
and that mainly around education and employement and community kind
of sector. But yeah, these read it. I vite you
to read that because yeah, it's a free resource. Use it.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
And you know, this is the thing about mob especially
a lot of the women that I know and people
like yourself, they are so generously sharing knowledge so that
we can live in a more just and fair world.
And so you know, people are often sharing their traumas,
their experiences to make things easier for you to do
what you've got to do in your community, So you know,
(34:17):
go out and have a look at those and you know,
people's stories is really how we change hearts and minds.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Yeah, I created this website because you know, like I said,
I had these stories to share. But he was in
my first two weeks of university, I experienced some racism
and it wasn't just casual, it was you know, more
targeted towards me. And I thought, wow, like, this is
the university and it's meant to be a diverse community,
but it really isn't all the time, and then you're
(34:45):
going to come across it, like unfortunately, you're going to
come across it. You know, our mom's going to come
across it. We shouldn't have to, but it happens. Yeah,
that's kind of why I wanted to do that website
because I thought, you know, I could write this story
up about cultural awareness and that.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yeah. Wow, just.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
So disappointing to hear that in your first sort of yeah,
a few formative weeks of like getting to UNI especially
you know, I certainly don't want to pathologize you with
this statement, but just how hard it is for some
of us to freaking get two UNA, and it's.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Still treated like, yeah, like class citizen, you know.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Yeah for some more like it's hard to get mob
into UNI. It's hard to get a mop here at
UNI studying. You know, I didn't finish, I didn't have
a CATA, I didn't have it HC. I actually did
a certain free community services before I came into UNI.
And I got into UNI, I've been passing. And you know,
if that was me in high school, I wouldn't have passed. Yeah,
(35:44):
I wouldn't have been able to do it academically. So
UNI is a whole different vibe and there is so
much support and as an Aboriginal person studying at the
University of Bullagan, we've got for younger Indigenous center here
and there is twenty four seven access and they have
free children and take it if you're a student or
one to come here. Highly recommend because for the younger support, like,
(36:07):
it's so good.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah, I mean, I think let's go there. I think
you know.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
So I'm hearing you know your story and your journey
from out of home care to playing rugby and sports.
You finding culture, being wrapped up in culture, sharing culture
and recognizing that you're still such a young person, you know, Like,
you know, I feel like I'm in the presence of
an elder in some ways, because you know, your your
(36:34):
journey is so rich, but in many ways it's it's
really just beginning, because there's.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
There's no end of insight for what you're what you're
going to go on and do.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
But you know, I want to ask about the path
that you've chosen in nursing and healthcare, and you know,
you find yourself here you are at UNI today literally
on this yarn and studying nursing.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
You know what drew you to that work?
Speaker 3 (36:58):
And I guess, yeah, is there anything that sort of
did you have a particular moment in your life where
you're like, oh, I am going to go and learn
to be a nurse, like I want to do this.
Was there something that led you to this path specifically,
or did you just always know that you wanted to
go out and play a role in our health.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
I always knew that I had, like I was in
a big passion for helping people. And it's funny because
I actually got into a different university for teaching, but
it was like way too far to travel, and I
didn't want to move away from home. I'm very like homebody.
So yeah, I got accepted into the deployment of nursing
because I haven't finished school, so it's a bridging course
(37:40):
to get me into my bachelor's which is really good.
And just after experiencing and struggling with my own mental health,
like as a young teenager and facing medical neglect as
an Aboriginal patient, like, I've realized like how many other
mob out there or just people in general would be
experiencing the same neglect, Like there would be so many
(38:00):
mob out there. Obviously from being medically retired from rugby
league and experiencing those head injuries, there was an incident
there where I had experienced a bit of medical neglect,
so I kind of just wanted to be the change.
And so yeah, that's what I'm studying at the moment,
and hopefully going to a master's of Indigenous Health because
(38:21):
my goal is to work in primary health care and
help improve the access to health care for Aboriginal Chusha
Island families.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
So yeah, wow, So continuing to I guess, make sense
of your own personal journey for the betterment of the
mob as well, you know, continuing to want to give
back and being rooted in that, And it sounds like
you've always had this sort of strong understanding of what
you want to be and how you want to shape
(38:50):
the world.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Yeah, like advocancy one hundred percent. I just step out
there and be a voice for our mob, you know,
like there's no shame in using your voice, like you
got a voice, Like there is no shame in using
your voice and make connections like being here at the
University of Wologon, like obviously being able to access the
(39:12):
Will Younger Indigenous Center, Like it's incredible, and there's twenty
four to seven support here, Like you know, they do
free lunches every week, they do tutoring. You can just
come in here for a yarn. They help with scholarships,
and they help with everything for UNI and then everything
outside of UNI. You know, if you need help with
housing it or financial food, they help. They help with everything.
(39:37):
If there's any students future students looking to study at
the University of Wollogon, whether you live down here or
whether you don't, hit Will the Younger up because they
are incredible and yeah, they're just so good. Like without
their support, I probably wouldn't still be here at University, especially,
you know with the racism that had happened to me
(39:59):
within my first two weeks, Like they stepped in and
they sorted it out pretty much straight away, like they
weren't putting up with that. So it's good to have
support networks as well. You know, it's a safe space
for our mob here at UNI, and everyone feels like
one big family. Well we are, like my mom, We're
one big family. And you know, I've met like two
of my cousins any like that. I didn't even know
(40:21):
what my cousins. Two I met them. So you make
connections everywhere in here. But and like opportunities you get
in here. You know, I'm doing the Shiten Ambassador role
this year with Willly Younger, So part of my role
is to do the my Future Matters program mentoring the
year seven to twelve students in high school to set
them up for success with educational employment, and then also
(40:43):
a bit of tutoring with the school students, but also
being faceable Younger so you know, doing cultural events like NATO,
run them stores at NATO, doing all sorts of different
little jobs around here. So yeah, big shout out to
my mom here at Wllly younger.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
Oh gosh, it's yeah, so inspiring.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
My sister hear the way that you are showing up
for for others, you know, and it's one of those
things that I'm reminded of.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
I guess in yarning with you that you know, our
experiences don't necessarily.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
Define us, No, it just makes Yeah, they shape the
the wisdom and the resilience and that you know, that
sense of staunchness that we that we carry.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
And you know, it's clear to me obviously.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
That you know, you have been through so much and
yet here you are, you know, growing, healing and and
doing the best you can to show up. And you
mentioned throughout this conversation a few times, and I want
to to sort of respectfully see how you feel about
talking about this. But you know, we know, especially for
more that you know, our healing isn't linear. You know,
(41:49):
we sometimes have moments where we're doing really well and
we can show up, but yeah, and then we have
step backs and we you know, fall back and all
of that is a part of the process. And so
I want to just sort of you know, you mention
that you know, having issues with mental health, and there
are a lot of people who do myself listeners. It's
something that we all sort of navigate in times of
(42:11):
our lives or throughout our lives.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
You know, how do you draw strength and support outside of,
say your culture, in managing some of those like harder
days where you just don't want to do it anymore
because you have so much drive.
Speaker 3 (42:25):
And I'd love to because there might be people out
there who you know, are so inspired by you, but
might not be feeling their best selves right now as well.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
And so yeah, yeah, I want to have that conversation,
you know, what gets you through the harder moments.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Oh that's a good one. I've you know, I'm still
only very young, Like I'm only twenty, Like I'm an adult.
But to my family, I'm still a kid. Like I'm
still their baby. I'll always be their baby. But I
think the past, let's say like this year. This year
(42:59):
has been different for me. This year is the first
year where I'm not involved domestic violence. I'm not involved
around negative environments for needy people, I don't have negative relationships.
I'm away from all of that this year, And I
always sit down and think like wow, like my life
has actually gotten so much better. You know, my grandfather
(43:21):
that I did live with. He's gone into a nursing home.
That was that was hard because I was raised by
him for my whole life. You know, this time last year,
I was still at home with him. Everything was all great,
but in August he got quite sick and ended up
in hospital for about five months before transitioning into the home.
And it wasn't just hard on me, but it was
(43:42):
hard on him and to see him struggle so much.
It was really really tough. That whole time he was
in the hospital. I think I was there almost. It
wasn't every day, it was like every second day I
was in that hospital seeing him, whether it be for
a couple hours an hour, I was there. Every day.
I was there and I seen him struggle and it
was hard. And it wasn't until he actually went into
(44:05):
the nursing home. I was like shit, like what I do?
Because I had moved into my auntie's home when he
was in the hospital, and then like to be told
that he's going to a nurse and home. It's really hard,
very hard, especially because I see him as my dad,
Like that's like, that's my dad, you know, he raised
me for my baby, That's that's who I call my
(44:26):
dad and without him, I wouldn't have had any opportunities
in life or been able to do anything. And he
obviously never thought that he'd be able to go to
an earth or have to go to a nurse's name. Sorry,
so it's been so tough. And then obviously like it
split me and my older brother away from each other,
and like it's not just affecting me, but like my
(44:49):
older brother, like I have yarns with him on the
phone because we don't live together now, so we don't
really see each other, which is sad because we would
see each other every day. We lived together for twenty years.
So you know, I call him up on the phone
and I know he's struggling, but you know, men like
men don't show their emotions and they never do and
(45:10):
he only has just kind of opened up to me.
I'm like, thank you, like, thank you for opening up
because I want to help you. But it's hard with
men because yeah, they don't, you know, show up. But
it's important because you know, mental health is higher in
men obviously than women. But yeah, like without culture, I
guess the way I handle my mental health is a
(45:32):
lot different to what I used to. So I guess
in the past, I didn't understand how to take care
of my mental health and well being, when now I've accepted,
you know the fact that Pops in a nursing home.
I'm living with my Arnie. Life is good and my
at UNI. I go to the gym, I read books,
I go for walks, I see my pop still, which
(45:55):
is great. But I still have those days, in those
moments where I feel like, oh, like just give up
or you know, stuff this, or I can't do it.
But just like, positive self talk is really important, and
that's what I found that has helped me. So instead
of like sinantaying I can't, I can't account, you sit
there and say like, I can do it, because you
(46:17):
can do anything you mind to. And surrounding yourself with
good people and good energy is definitely a big factor.
Like if you're in a shit situation right now and
you know it's shit and you want to leave, leave now.
So yeah, that's how I, Yes, I handle my mental health.
It's just staying active and surrounding myself around good people
(46:37):
and I just.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Yes, yeah, I mean, you're as I said before, I
feel like I'm in the presence of an elder even
though you're twenty years old, because you know you and
your story holds such immense power and wisdom, and I
really appreciate you sharing those really beautiful, generous ways to
care for yourself, like.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
Even with mental health, Like I don't just have mental
health from trauma from being careful, from losing loved ones,
but I have mental health from going to an athlete
to obviously not being the athlete anymore. That's a lot,
because there's some days where I go to the gym
and I'm like, why am I even at the gym,
(47:18):
Like I can't play rugby anymore? Like what am I
doing at the gym? Or trying to compare myself to
other people at the gym, Like I don't care anymore,
Like I just go to the gym, do my thing,
do it for my own mental health and well being,
on my own fitness. And you know, I still struggle
with my mental health every day. Definitely, there's still little
moments that I have, But I guess the main mental
(47:39):
health struggle is obviously rugby. You know, going from an
athlete to obviously nothing, it's so hard, but then having
to see all your friends succeed in that, like I'm
so proud of every one of my friends that are
still playing rugby and getting all the opportunities they get
in and winning their games and being able to play like,
(47:59):
good on you keep going. But yeah, I get really
bad from am I over watching rugby or just talking
about you know, girls playing it hard. But I have
good networks around me, so that definitely plays a key
in my life. Is all my support, like my family,
people can community, my elders. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:21):
Yeah, and I guess I'm hearing you know, just that
there is not there's not a one size fits all,
and that there is always going to be inevitably struggles
in our life.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
Yeah, everyone's stuff is with mental health, whether it's small
or big struggles. Everyone has it. No one's perfect, no
one will ever be perfect. You'll have good weeks or
good days where you feel good and then you have
shit times and shit weeks, and like especially grieving, like
you talk about grieving, it comes and goes, It comes
(48:50):
and goes. You know, after I lost my brother, I
grieved for a few years like just on and then
it's like on and off, on and off, and it
happens like there's no time where grieving stuffs you'll always
grieve your grief from that trauma, all grief from that
loss always, But it's the way you handle it, you know.
(49:10):
I try and think of the positive things in life
and what I have in life because there's a lot
of mob out there that don't have what I have,
so I'm really grateful. Or it's you know, if I
see like or hear like about someone or some mob struggling,
I'm like, oh, okay, like I've got that, but you don't,
So like I've got to be more grateful. So it
(49:31):
gives me a bit more gratitude, a lot of gratitude
because you know, there's so many people out there that
don't have what I have, and I'm just like, that's bad.
It's really sad. You know. I teach the bus to
Communion and I see homeless people all the time, and
it breaks my heart because people judge them so much,
but I can't. You know, my dad, we haven't had
(49:54):
contact with him since we were little, and last time
we heard, he was homeless in his car. But you know,
homeless people aren't bad people not They're not all people
Like No, that's sad to see them because I'm like shit,
like they're on the middle of the pathway having to
sleep when I've got a whole, big, nice house under
(50:14):
my roof. And yeah, just be grateful for what you
have and don't wish for more.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Yeah, such beautiful advice, my sis.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
I really appreciate you sharing some of those, you know,
really practical and beautiful tips of ways that you care
for yourself and maybe inviting others to do the same.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
I think you're right.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
Everybody does struggle from time to time or have periods
in their life where they're in the struggle, and the
power of gratitude, of finding community, of finding culture, having
good people and movement and being.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
Active can help.
Speaker 3 (50:50):
And also just a bit of grace sometimes that we're
going to make mistakes and we're going to get things,
you know, we're going to be messy and maybe hard
on ourselves, and that this is a journey of learning
to love ourselves in ways that can feel difficult when
we haven't had.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
Those early experiences as well.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:12):
Yeah, wow, I mean, yeah, I just want to again
just acknowledge that, Yeah, what an incredible person you are.
You know, I know you've had some difficult experiences, but
if you strip back all of that experiences.
Speaker 1 (51:25):
You know, you're more of your spirit.
Speaker 3 (51:27):
Your heart and who you are is really important and
really valued, and I'm just so grateful for you. And yeah,
I just want to remind you that, yeah, your story
holds power and there's going to be people out here
who will be listening to this and be really inspired
and really grateful that you came on to share some
(51:49):
of your experiences and some of your wisdom with us.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
Thank you so much, so thank you.
Speaker 3 (51:56):
Anything else that you want to get off as we
close today's conversation, I will put Kiali's social media handle
and our mob our voices into our show notes, but yeah,
anything else that you want to get off your chairs
on my sist or anything else that you know you
feel called to share in this moment as we look
(52:17):
to close up today's beautiful conversation, just thank you.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
For having me on the podcast. And you know, to
all my support networks, my family, my people in my community.
You know, without their support, I wouldn't obviously be here today.
What I'm doing in the shout out to the MOB
at all younger. Their support and like their support networks
for MOB is so amazing. So yeah, thank you for
(52:43):
allowing me to use this space to recording today and
yet as a proud Aboriginal woman, like I'm committed to
making a difference for my people in my community, you know,
using my voice and to anyone piecing challenges, like your
story matters, like no matter what you've been through, and
you can rise above and there's always support around you
and you can achieve anything you want. So yeah, and
(53:03):
screw forward together and thank you for having me on
your podcast.
Speaker 3 (53:07):
Well what a beautiful way to sort of try best
to close this part of your journey, which is still
very much developing.
Speaker 1 (53:14):
But that, yeah, knowing that your story matters.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
Yeah, you're all work. And I actually want to read
a text message that my pop sent to me. He's
blessing him. I love him to be its big shout
out to him. Not that he would probably listen to
this because he didn't know how to come on a podcast,
but all good, I will, you know, send him the recording.
(53:39):
I sent him a video of me at the gym.
I'm very proud of myself at the gym because, you know,
going from playing footy to nothing and lifting the weights
I've been lifting. You know, there's always people out there
and every time I Pop sends me a message like this,
it makes me a bit emotional. But he sent a
(54:00):
message last night saying good night, I love you, so
proud of you. Never give up. I'll see you on Saturday.
So I just wanted to put that out there because
he is so sweet. And yeah, never give up, Yeah,
beautifully said Pop.
Speaker 1 (54:16):
And what a really beautiful reminder.
Speaker 3 (54:18):
And it's clear that you're out here not giving up,
and you're helping light the way for a lot of
other flows.
Speaker 2 (54:25):
Come yes, yeah, and I can always sit there. I
think like there's sometimes way like UNI's great. I love UNI,
but sometimes you don't have good days at UNI, and
you feel like giving up, and or like even at
the gym, I feel like giving up. And in the
back of my head, I'm like, nah, I can't give up.
Not for my Pop. I'm doing everything for myself, but
(54:47):
for the people who've raised me like I want to
and just like in general, like I want to prove
everyone who said I couldn't do this. I want to
prove them wrong, Like I am proving them wrong, you know,
I want to prove all of them wrong. So yeah, yeah,
so thank you giving me on here. I really appreciate it,
and yeah, I love listening to this podcast all the time,
(55:09):
so to be a special guest on here daybe definitely
means a lot to thank you.
Speaker 3 (55:14):
Thank you my sis, I'm so grateful for you in
your time, and yeah, reminding us to keep going when
we can and give ourselves grace when we can't.
Speaker 4 (55:23):
So yeah, thank you or love yes, thank you so
much for listening you mob. If you are vibing this
season and yarning up, then please head over to Apple, Spotify,
or wherever you get your podcasts from to show us.
Speaker 1 (55:41):
Some love, rate and review.
Speaker 3 (55:43):
Alternatively, you can get in contact and give us some
feedback by visiting www. Dot carolinecol dot com dot au
Speaker 4 (56:04):
Don't
Black Cast Unite our voices.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
This podcast is brought to you by on Track Studio.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Welcome to Yanni Up, the podcast that showcases First Nations
stories and conversations to help us learn and unlearn Australia's
history to work towards a better future. I'm your host,
proud barber woman and founder of Blackwattel Coaching and Consulting,
(00:37):
Caroline cow. We acknowledge the Runderi people and elders where
this podcast is taped, but we also acknowledge the lands
that you are listening in from today. It always was
and always will be unseated Aboriginal and tourist Red Islander Land. Well,
(00:59):
I am so delighted and honored to be sitting in
the company of my next guest, Kiali Rose. Welcome to
Yarning Up. It is so so great to have you
here today. Yeah. I'd love to sort of start by, yeah,
letting our listeners get to know you and who you are.
So I'm wondering if you can start by, yeah, maybe
(01:21):
introducing yourself.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Massis.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yes, So, thank you for having me. It's a pleasure
to be on a podcast and show incredible story. I'm Kiali.
I'm a Pride Kim Laura and a global coal woman
from Ghana, Dha and Marie living on dur Old Country.
I'm a medically retired regular league footy player as well,
so that's tank interesting about me. I guess. I'm now
studying at the University of Woolligon doing nursing and work
(01:46):
here at the Woollyanga Indigenous Center as a student ambassador.
So I'm currently recording in on this podcast from the
space here at all younger, so shout out to them
for allowing me to use that space. A little bit
about me. I'm one of eight siblings, so I come
from a really really big family, but I was removed
from a young age. But we'll get into that a
little bit more later on. And that's a bit about me,
(02:07):
but yeah, thank you for having me on here. Wow.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Wow, what a fascinating intro. So you're you're studying nursing
and you're currently at UNI right now as.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
We Yes, I actually have a class today.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Darling, Sis, this is black women for you. Always like
doing the most out here, medically retired rugby league play,
You've got to share with me a little bit more
about that.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
It gives me such bad foma that I can't play anymore.
But I've played for so many years at club level
and a high representative level, and it was literally my lifestyle.
Like I was doing like year eleven and twelve in
high school and I'd have to leave early to go
to training. And my auntie that I now live with,
so grateful for her, she would drive me to Cronulla
(02:55):
every week. You know, I'd be on trains every week,
late at night, on my own. Don't know how I
did it, but I did. And Yeah, in twenty twenty three,
I received think it was like four concussions and it
was followed by a few sieges. So because of the
sieges and the concussions and them all being so close together,
(03:17):
I was seen by a few different doctors and nurses
that told me to stop. And I was like, oh,
these are just gamming, Like I'm not stopping this. Like
I wanted to make something out of it, and I
was doing that. I had really good opportunities playing. Unfortunately
I had to be medically retired. I was in nineteen
so I was very young to be medically retired. But
(03:40):
I also took a big impact on my mental health,
you know, going from training every day and being in
like a team environment to like literally nothing. It definitely
like changed my life and affected me a lot. But
I've now just got cleared to kind of go back
to running and go back to training because I had
(04:00):
like headaches and fatigue like ongoing getting back into the
gym and running and staying active. It's been good, but it, yeah,
will never be the same as playing again.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Wow, Oh my gosh, I'll see why.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
There's obviously a trauma associated with that, and I'm so
sorry that.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I actually brought that up.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
But I mean it's kind of one of those things
like there's this danger of playing the spot, but it's
something that you love so much.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Yeah, and like to be told to stop something that
you love, Like, I just don't think people understand it,
like as an athlete, Like I don't think other people understand.
It's been very hard past twelve months. I think it's yeah,
almost been twelve months since I haven't played a game
or really trained at all. So then I played a
(04:46):
bit of touch last year, but it's not the same.
I guess that's what led me into nursing and healthcare
a little bit, but we'll get more into that later.
It's been an interesting journey with that, but yeah, we're
doing now. So going to the gym. I actually went
this morning and my boss there.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Oh, I'm grateful to hear that through all of this
sort of loss and that you've had some time to
go back to moving your body and doing things that
feel right for you, because I imagine would be a
big part of you and your life that's missing.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
So yeah, and I had a massive passion for it.
And yeah, like I said, it was everything. But I
did like grow up doing a bit of dancing and swimming,
and yeah, footy was like my main like thin then
I just did that. I loved I loved dancing for
so long, but footy actually took over it. So I
think I was like fourteen and I had to like choose, Okay,
(05:38):
I've got to choose one or two sports. It's just
getting too much for my pop.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah yeah, oh wow, wow, Sis.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I mean, I think it gives me just and the
listeners also just a little glimpse around the richness of
your story and the fact that you're continually breaking down
barriers and doing you know, the hard stuff, including putting
your body on the line. And I want to sort
of maybe open up if I may and talk about
(06:08):
this with respect and delicacy here of course, but we
were sort of, you know, talking off air, so KIALI
was out of home care, and we sort of in
talking about what we wanted to year and together. You know,
we really wanted to tell this story because it's a
story that really needs to be told.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
And I just want to say.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
In appreciation in advance, you know, I really thank you
for being willing to come on to.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Share about this.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
So yeah, I'd love to know sort of you know,
as you mentioned, you you grew up and out of
home care, which I imagine had its unique.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Challenges and experiences.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
I'm wondering if you can kind of share a little
bit about your journey as a young Aboriginal woman in
out of home care.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, so if I say anything, I'd just like to
say to you know, all our listeners or anyone that's
listening in on the podcast, if anything triggers you, please
reach out because there is all ways support because this
can be a really heavy topic for some people to
listen in on or may trigger some So I just
wanted to put that out there. But I was in
(07:14):
out of home care from a very young age. I
think I was only three or four years old, and
I come from one of eight siblings and I've only
got two full robbers. So my two brothers and I
were putting to my nun and pop's care, so my
dad's grandparents, because at the time, if they didn't take
as in, we would have been split into foster care,
(07:35):
which is really shit. So growing up in out of
home care was so tough. ACE workers often often made
decisions without involving me or my family, leaving us with
no say in our own lives. This especially was hard
during my teenage years because in those years, I knew
who I was and what I needed, but there was
(07:55):
no chance for me to speak. I was constantly being
moved between homes, and every time a new caseworker came in,
you know, we had to repeat our story and rebuild
that trust. And the system was meant to protect us,
but it's broken and it's disorganized and disconnected. Youth homes
even you know. I was placed into a youth home
(08:16):
when I was fifteen due to my brother's behavior, and
I struggled with mental health a lot, like throughout my
whole time being in care, but especially throughout this time
because they don't support emotional healing or cultural connections. And
it was actually a worse experience than what it was,
(08:37):
you know, living in my own family home. So it
felt like the government cared more about you know, ticking
all these boxes rather than helping us. But yeah, leaving
many young people to fall through the cracks. And when
talk about mental health, I definitely experienced it when my
nan passed away. So, like I said, I was taken
(08:57):
into my nan and pop's care. My nan passed away
when I was on the EU six. I think I
was only twelve years old, so I was still a child,
and obviously being twelve, like your brain's not developed enough
to understand or comprehend like what's going on. And so
I think looking back at it, I didn't agree properly
for my NaN's passing. But then when I was fifteen,
(09:19):
my eldest brother died in a tragic accident, which really
affected my mental health because it was out of nowhere.
It was obviously not expected, you know. I woke up
one morning going to footy game actually, and I heard
the news and I played in this footy game. I
played literally in tears, so it was really heavy. And
(09:42):
then experiencing domestic violence, not just being exposed from it,
you know, from living with my parents like a victim
and a witness of it because of one of my siblings.
So I went through that for a lot of years, which, yeah,
it definitely takes a toll on your mental health and
if you don't have the right support networks there, which
there's so many women that go through domestic violence. It
(10:06):
doesn't always have to be physical. There's so many different
types of it, and it's sad because there's not enough
support and the law system is meant to enforce, you know,
all these rules and boundaries and they're not doing their
job properly. And the court system too, Like I've had
(10:26):
to go through court because of domestic violence with one
of my siblings, and the court system it's so broken,
Like it's so bad. But yeah, like my grandparents who
took me and my two old brothers in Like without them,
I wouldn't know who I would be today, and I
wouldn't know what type of life I would have, And
especially my granddad, you know, he's still here with us today.
(10:48):
He's unfortunately in a nursing home now, which is pretty recent,
which is quite sad. But without him in my life,
like I definitely wouldn't be the person I am today,
even like now him being a nursing home. He will
ridden me every day and tell me, you know, how
proud he is of me and never give up. And
he sends me little texas with emojis, but it's so compute.
(11:09):
So yeah, and like you know, I always knew I
was Aboriginal. I've always known I was Aboriginal because my
nanipop they are the honestly hats off to them because
raising free kids, their grandkids with drama like that would
have been the hardest thing to do, one hundred percent
(11:30):
so hard. But they always make sure that we were
involved with our culture, so like you know, going to
Nadok events and different things in community, and I remember
in primary school I was always heavily involved in everything culture.
So yeah, I always knew I was Aboriginal, but I
never actually knew my mob until I think I was
(11:50):
in late year seven eight. I you know, slowly grew
my own connections with community and also with my mom's
out of the family, and I was put into heats
of programs at school which really helped. And yeah, I
guess I just did like my own cultural research, and
I've just been like so into culture, Like I don't
(12:12):
even know how to explain it, because five of culture.
I just love love culture. So yeah, I'm very you know,
independent woman for everything that I've been through.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
You know.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Now I live with my auntie, So that's my pop
step daughter, but I call her my mom, like that's
my mom. So her daughter, which I call her my sister.
She's got a beautiful husband and two little babies. They
just had a baby, so cute. So they're my biggest
supporters and motivators throughout life as well, besides my grandfather. Yeah,
(12:45):
they're just incredible. Like if it wasn't for them, I
probably wouldn't even have a riff over my head. So
like their support and like their energy that I surround
myself via this is so good. Like they're just incredible people.
Has offen my cousin who just gave birth to almost
my daughter. Wow, yeah she birth's big babies. But yeah,
(13:10):
hats off to those couple because they make big ones,
but they make pretty cute babies. But yeah, Like even
when I was at school, school was hard. Primary school
wasn't as bad as high school, but I still struggled
through primary school just with you know, always seen like
when talk about like Grandparents' Day. You know, on Grandparents' Day,
(13:32):
they would have their mom and dad dad with their grandparents,
where I would only have like my dad and pop.
Which was great that I had them, but I had
a jealousy thing where I was quite jealous even of
my friends that I had. Like even now, like I
see people with their mum or their dad, I'm like, oh,
like I really wish I had that, and I really
wish I had that connection, but unfortunately I don't. And
(13:54):
I don't like to look at the negative side of
things all the time, but sometimes you need your parents,
and like, I know mine's out there. I used to
be close to one of them, and now it's just
like I know they're out there and I could connect
with them at any time, but it's not good for
my mental health and what being. And I need to
protect myself as well, you know, to be able to
(14:16):
succeed in life. I'm not going to be able to
succeed with those type of people in my life, unfortunately.
But yeah, I was always judged at primary school. You know,
it was always judgmental comments made to me by other
students just from being in kare you know the fact
that I lived with my didn't live with my parents.
(14:37):
It was really hard. And then high school here and
I don't know what happened, but my behavior just changed.
I was never in trouble in primary school and high
school hit and I was in trouble all the time, suspensions, detentions,
I was in trouble all the time. And now I
look back on it, I'm like that behavior was a
(14:59):
reflection of, you know, my living situation and my living environment.
But I was actually placed into a behavioral unit at
high school. I just guess the way they handled things
wasn't the best. I mean, the way education schools handle
bullying is never the best. It's crap. Their system is crap.
(15:21):
But I look back on it now, I'm like the
teachers I had in this behavioral unit, they were actually
really good, and without them I probably would have been
in more trouble or been expelled or you know, something
further could have happened. And I think it all came
from right after my brother passed away, so that was
in twenty nineteen. It got worse, Like the bullying got worse,
(15:43):
my behavioral got worse, I was never in class. I
hated school, but I didn't hate school because I was
still coming to school, So it was like I wanted
to be there, but I didn't. So I got suspended
once and something I really want to talk about because
I had many suspensions, but this was one suspension I
was suspended for. I don't know how long I was
(16:04):
suspended for, but I had came back and basically I
had to sit in one spot for my recess and lunch.
I had to walk from one pathway to and from class.
I had to use one puller, and I was also
followed by a teacher's aide the whole lunch and recess.
So it really made me feel very isolated because it's like,
why are you targeting me? Because if they actually looked
(16:29):
at what I was doing, I was standing up for
myself most of the time. Yes, I was probably in
the rons sometimes, but most of the time, I was
standing up for myself because I was getting bullied about
my brother's accident because you know, we're averageinal it's very
big in community. That type of accents very big around here.
Everyone knows what happened when it happened at thin and
(16:50):
then living with my pop. You know that was discussing
comments made about him, and it makes me seek like
to think people even think stuff like that, Like teenagers
they think they even think stuff is what they said,
Like it's horrible. But yeah, like I left in year twelve,
and I mean I'm here now at UNI, so I
(17:12):
didn't need school to succeed. Then some people don't, like
school's not for everyone. And when you go in through
so much at home and then trying to come to school,
it's just like how do you focus? How do you
learn properly when all you can think about is all
this stuff going on at home? And then like, you know,
(17:32):
I left school and I started working in community. So
I worked with a place called Gamara. It's owned by
own and run by a fellow called Uncle Richard Campbell.
So he lives down here, so that's his little business.
So I did like mentoring with Aboriginal students and did
like cultural like stuff just out in the community. It
(17:55):
was a great job. It was fun. Then I got
like a big opportunity to work for the Department of Education,
probably like a few months after I only had left
al so I took it. It was out of high school,
and I was just doing like Yanni Circle programs with
the Indigenous girls at a local high school, which was
very successful actually, so I'm pretty proud of that because
(18:17):
I was only eighteen at the time as well. So yeah, wow, yeah,
So most of my work has been you know, culture
and education and our community and making connections.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah wow, I'm really cool to Yeah, maybe just stop
for a moment there and kind of get into all
of that douicy stuff of what you're doing now.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
And I just want to sort of.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
You know, acknowledge your story and what it is that
you've shared, you know, hearing your journey and you know,
some of these issues that we have here in Australia
around our kids in care, you know, like for people
our overseas listeners, we have a problem here in Australia
where you know, even though our young fellows only represent.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Six percent of our youth, forty four percent are in care.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
And I guess hearing your story and you know what
you endured at at such a young age, you know,
twelve years old, fifteen, like losing your role, all that
grief and loss, and I guess to hear you still
making sense of it, I'm sure Yeah, to be on
this sort of side where you're here right now bravely
(19:29):
sharing and the fact that you are showing up for
yourself and showing up now for the mob and talking
about this is just such a reminder of the strength
and the adversity and no doubt the challenges in which
you faced.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
In going through all that.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Yeah, and I guess, yeah, I just want to acknowledge
your story in its entirety, And yeah, I really deeply
appreciate you sharing that. There are probably a lot of
people out there who have experienced advert city who aren't
in a position to share it. And it's often when
we share these things that one we kind of make
(20:12):
a little bit more sense for ourselves along the way,
but we also give other people.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Permission to ignowledge their story too.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
And there's a lot of black kids in care right
now who might not feel that they have a story
worth sharing, and that just to be reminded that they
are important and they matter.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Yeah. You see, in out of home care, there's so
much judgment and discrimination that you know, children are being
placed in out of home care or youth homes because
they're naughty kids. And that's it's the complete opposite. You're
put into care because you know, the living situation you're in,
or the people that you're in care with, or your
(20:51):
parents nothing to do with the child. And you know,
a lot of the behaviors that children do have, or
you see them troubled kids out in community, you know
a lot of that comes from trauma. You can't always
blame trauma on everything, but a lot of it comes
from trauma or generational trauma or generational you know, actions
(21:11):
and things that they've seen from their families, and they
probably think, oh, yeah, I can do that, that's all right,
But then when they grow up, they're going to realize, oh, actually, no,
that's not okay to do. I shouldn't have done any
of that.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Yeah, you're right, Like, it's not always that people are
bad or good. Sometimes it's that people lack the supports
or the resources or the skills and they need support,
not to be like ostracized from our society. They actually
need to be brought in and supported intent through that
very binary lens. Because at the end of the day,
(21:47):
I believe this and you know, even reflecting on how
I grew up too, is that any family can have
a really difficult period where things you know, are rocky
and things can happen. And in our case with community,
you know, you're right, it's not our mom. Aren't bad people,
they just sometimes don't have those those tools.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Yeah. And then like even caseworkers too, like I said before,
you know, having different case workers constantly, like that was
hard and not so much as a kid because I
didn't really understand it, but like as a teenager when
I started to understand, you know, I was having all
these different case workers come in, come out, come in,
(22:28):
come out all the time, and like trying to build
that relationship with them or that connection with them, and
then having to read tell your story like constantly. Yeah,
it was hard. It wasn't easy.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
And I wonder with that my my sister, you know,
I'd love to sort of ask you because you are
such an incredible young person.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Thank you you are you know, you are.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
A beacon, a voice and a leader and just so
so bright. I mean, there were some case workers listening
and about really prioritizing you, the young person or the
family or the you know, the care is what would
you say to these moms who were sitting in government
roles who don't have really any proximity to you and
your families. You know, what would you tell them, what
(23:10):
advice would you tell them about making sure they'd listen
and send to your voice.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Just you know, make sure they have cultural awareness training
from MALP, like you know, have MOLP delivered that, and
you know, getting down on the level of the children
in out of home care and the families and really
trying to build that connection. But not walking to the
home like you know as a big government social work
(23:36):
type of do you know what I mean, like be
culturally safe and appropriate when you work and with our mob.
You know, our mob have so much trauma and past
trauma and generational trauma. Like just going there, be open,
get down on their level, just show respect. It's not
that bad.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
I wonder like having seen any instances where like Migueloo's
on Aboriginal people have got it right and they have
really done that work and supported Yes.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yeah, I've had a few caseworkers and contact workers. I've
actually got a caseworker that I still talked to till
this day and she is incredible and I love her.
And you know, the agency I was with at the
time she had left and after that it kind of
just like she was incredible, and like I have had
(24:26):
good experiences with some caseworkers. And then you know, we
talk about youth home. So I was putting to a
youth home when I was fifteen because of my brother's behavior.
So I was actually removed from my grandfather's care, which
is really unfortunate. And I didn't have a good experience
in that youth home, you know, with the other children
(24:47):
in there, all the young people, and I also didn't
have a good experience with the youth workers I had
at the time in this particular home. It was not
it was not great. I was sent to school with
no food because I had forgotten the lunch, They wouldn't
take me to school, all different things, all different things.
They are not a nice place. So if there's anyone
(25:09):
out there, you know that's wanting to do foster care
but they just don't know, please do because I'm sure
a young child would rather be in your care than
sit in a youth home, because they are not a
place where our youth should be getting put Sometimes, you know,
it has to happen. Like myself at the time, that
was no cares, So I just you know, throwing in
(25:30):
the deepen and throwing into this house. Yeah, there's any
people who wanting to do foster care.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Please hearing what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
I think what I'm sort of taking away from that,
you know, is especially if you're a black follower and
you want to do some care, there are so many
people out there.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Yeah, please do that, because you know, if I could
go back at fifteen and have a choice, you know,
our kids don't. We don't get a choice in care.
You know, we don't get no choice. We get called
what to do, we get thrown around, we don't there's
no choice. We don't have a choice because you know,
we're under the government until eighteen. Like if I had
the choice, and I wish that was a choice for
(26:08):
kids to say, where would you like to be put?
We don't get to ask that. We don't ask that
question or get to have that question asked to us,
you know. So it's like I would rather have that
question asked to me. So if I was able to
go back I and there was a kar who was mob,
I'd go to them over a U homes.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
So yeah, yeah, will be back your mob right after
this short break. And I guess, you know, I just
(26:52):
want to sort of play back. A couple of things
that I think are important to really highlight here, which is,
you know the importance of having a caseworker that truly
listens to the voices of the peace what they're working with,
and really centers their care and builds it around culture
and connection and community. And you know, in the out
of home care system they talk about you know, child
(27:14):
placement principles and making sure that you know the young
people they know what they need they are.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Yeah, like I knew what I.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Just listen to these fellows.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
They'll tell you exactly what is going on for them,
and so that's really important. And then I think also too,
you know the importance of having more foster cares, more
Black cares, and changing this narrative of stigmatized people as
good and bad and putting them into these youth homes.
You know, you spoke it before about your nan and
(27:47):
pop and they sound like really wonderful people.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yes, they sound like really loving, deadly people.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
And you mentioned how they sort of ensure that you
were wrapped up in your culture the best you could.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
And we're all on our journeys and I.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
Guess that you know, embracing culture has been really powerful
for your healing.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Yes, really inspiring.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
I guess to hear how that connection to culture has
guided you, and so I'm keen to understand.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Yeah, what role do you think culture has played for
you in healing?
Speaker 3 (28:21):
And are there any particular practices or people or places
that you visit to to strengthen you know, your spirit
a bit.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Yeah, well, my grandparents, like my nun's not here with
us anymore, but my pop still is so so grateful
for that. But yeah, like they're just so incredible. Even
before we were legally placed into their care, we were
always with them, always with them. It was just trying
to get that legal custody, which they got. And you know,
(28:50):
I'm just so lucky because you know, to be around
the people I am around today in my family and
the you know, family doesn't always have to be blood,
and my grandparents aren't my blood because they adopted my dad.
But you don't look at it like that, Like I
never look at it like that, And when I have
to think about it like that, sometimes I'm like, oh,
that's a weird, Like you know, yeah, I don't think,
(29:12):
we don't think, we don't think like that at all whatsoever.
But like you know, they were honestly the best they spent.
I don't know how much money they spent on my sport,
but it probably said them broke by the end of it,
because yeah, I was such a sporty kid. Even my brothers,
like they played so much footy too. So all that
(29:33):
money they've spent on that and then like getting to
go overseas like a gone overseas, a gone on cruise,
sh it's gone on holidays. You know, not many kids
get to experience that or even through sport like, so
I'm very grateful that, you know, I had the positive
impact in my life by my grandparents. And yeah, like
my healing and my connection to my culture is really
(29:56):
important for me. Especially healing in a culturally safe way
for me is really important. I heal by you know,
yearning with mob like what we're doing today, Like that
gets stuff off my chest, you know, like and building
my own connections and then sharing my story. That's a
part of my healing. And there's a woman's healing group
(30:16):
at the Ill Around Aboriginal Medical Center, so they support
women in healing and you know, women that have came
from all sorts of life and they've played a big
key part in my life as well as wily younger.
Where I'm sitting today, so I'm at the Indigenous Center
at the Yearni. Even the support networks here, like it's incredible,
(30:37):
Like it's yeah, it's cool, you know, just doing like
cultural dance and traditional art. I started doing art after
my brother passed, so it was, you know, a big
healing for me, big killing parts. And then I guess
one of the biggest cultural highlights I had was it
was an unreal experience. I got to present an acknowledgment
(31:00):
of country last year, the Annerl Dragons in this round. Wow,
that experience was it was unreal, Like I gotta go
in the shed and the coaches and yeah, it was crazy.
It was so good. And yeah, it's definitely the biggest
cultural highlight that I've got so far, you know, my
(31:24):
healing and my connection to culture. Yeah, I'm also working
as a really younger Shoulden ambassador, so part of my
role is to entaur the next generation and set them
up for success.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Wow, well, my Cis, you are too deadly. You are yeah,
just shining so brightly, my Cis. And I mean, yet's
so beautiful to hear that there are many things in
your toolkit that have been useful for you, like art
and yarning. And then hearing what you were saying before,
was that not only is it helpful for you to
(32:01):
yearn your story out and speak on it so you're
not sitting in it, but also then you're going and
holding yarning circles for other women.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
To share their stories.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
How powerful that you're using your talents and gifts as medicine.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Father.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Yeah, and I also have a website that has I
think it's got free stories. So I've written them up
myself and they're like, you know, I'm so passionate about
my culture, and I write things up in my notes
all the time, like stories like just out of nowhere,
Like obviously don't write things up. I'm I really want
to share that. So I've actually created my own website.
(32:38):
It's called our mob our Voices. There is a password
to get access to the website, so it's all in capitals.
It's mob to zero two five voices. So yeah, anyone
wants to go check it out, please do. But yeah,
I'm not actually sure if you can find it on Google,
if it's just through my link on my socials. But
(32:58):
my socials it's just kari time, so you just want
to find it. Yeah, go on, will be sure.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
To put all these details in our in our notes
for you so that people can easily follow along, because
I'm sure there's lots of.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
People who are really interested in following.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yeah, and I mean they're free rereadom like, get some
even if you're not more rereaedom, you get an understanding.
I think there's one in there I've written about mental
health in out of home care, trying to break that sigma.
And there was another one I can't remember the top
of my head, but yeah, just go in there and
read them, like, honestly, it's so worth it, so worth
(33:36):
reading even if you're not. Also cultural safety, cultural awareness
and that mainly around education and employement and community kind
of sector. But yeah, these read it. I vite you
to read that because yeah, it's a free resource. Use it.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
And you know, this is the thing about mob especially
a lot of the women that I know and people
like yourself, they are so generously sharing knowledge so that
we can live in a more just and fair world.
And so you know, people are often sharing their traumas,
their experiences to make things easier for you to do
what you've got to do in your community, So you know,
(34:17):
go out and have a look at those and you know,
people's stories is really how we change hearts and minds.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Yeah, I created this website because you know, like I said,
I had these stories to share. But he was in
my first two weeks of university, I experienced some racism
and it wasn't just casual, it was you know, more
targeted towards me. And I thought, wow, like, this is
the university and it's meant to be a diverse community,
but it really isn't all the time, and then you're
(34:45):
going to come across it, like unfortunately, you're going to
come across it. You know, our mom's going to come
across it. We shouldn't have to, but it happens. Yeah,
that's kind of why I wanted to do that website
because I thought, you know, I could write this story
up about cultural awareness and that.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yeah. Wow, just.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
So disappointing to hear that in your first sort of yeah,
a few formative weeks of like getting to UNI especially
you know, I certainly don't want to pathologize you with
this statement, but just how hard it is for some
of us to freaking get two UNA, and it's.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Still treated like, yeah, like class citizen, you know.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Yeah for some more like it's hard to get mob
into UNI. It's hard to get a mop here at
UNI studying. You know, I didn't finish, I didn't have
a CATA, I didn't have it HC. I actually did
a certain free community services before I came into UNI.
And I got into UNI, I've been passing. And you know,
if that was me in high school, I wouldn't have passed. Yeah,
(35:44):
I wouldn't have been able to do it academically. So
UNI is a whole different vibe and there is so
much support and as an Aboriginal person studying at the
University of Bullagan, we've got for younger Indigenous center here
and there is twenty four seven access and they have
free children and take it if you're a student or
one to come here. Highly recommend because for the younger support, like,
(36:07):
it's so good.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah, I mean, I think let's go there. I think
you know.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
So I'm hearing you know your story and your journey
from out of home care to playing rugby and sports.
You finding culture, being wrapped up in culture, sharing culture
and recognizing that you're still such a young person, you know, Like,
you know, I feel like I'm in the presence of
an elder in some ways, because you know, your your
(36:34):
journey is so rich, but in many ways it's it's
really just beginning, because there's.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
There's no end of insight for what you're what you're
going to go on and do.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
But you know, I want to ask about the path
that you've chosen in nursing and healthcare, and you know,
you find yourself here you are at UNI today literally
on this yarn and studying nursing.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
You know what drew you to that work?
Speaker 3 (36:58):
And I guess, yeah, is there anything that sort of
did you have a particular moment in your life where
you're like, oh, I am going to go and learn
to be a nurse, like I want to do this.
Was there something that led you to this path specifically,
or did you just always know that you wanted to
go out and play a role in our health.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
I always knew that I had, like I was in
a big passion for helping people. And it's funny because
I actually got into a different university for teaching, but
it was like way too far to travel, and I
didn't want to move away from home. I'm very like homebody.
So yeah, I got accepted into the deployment of nursing
because I haven't finished school, so it's a bridging course
(37:40):
to get me into my bachelor's which is really good.
And just after experiencing and struggling with my own mental health,
like as a young teenager and facing medical neglect as
an Aboriginal patient, like, I've realized like how many other
mob out there or just people in general would be
experiencing the same neglect, Like there would be so many
(38:00):
mob out there. Obviously from being medically retired from rugby
league and experiencing those head injuries, there was an incident
there where I had experienced a bit of medical neglect,
so I kind of just wanted to be the change.
And so yeah, that's what I'm studying at the moment,
and hopefully going to a master's of Indigenous Health because
(38:21):
my goal is to work in primary health care and
help improve the access to health care for Aboriginal Chusha
Island families.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
So yeah, wow, So continuing to I guess, make sense
of your own personal journey for the betterment of the
mob as well, you know, continuing to want to give
back and being rooted in that, And it sounds like
you've always had this sort of strong understanding of what
you want to be and how you want to shape
(38:50):
the world.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Yeah, like advocancy one hundred percent. I just step out
there and be a voice for our mob, you know,
like there's no shame in using your voice, like you
got a voice, Like there is no shame in using
your voice and make connections like being here at the
University of Wologon, like obviously being able to access the
(39:12):
Will Younger Indigenous Center, Like it's incredible, and there's twenty
four to seven support here, Like you know, they do
free lunches every week, they do tutoring. You can just
come in here for a yarn. They help with scholarships,
and they help with everything for UNI and then everything
outside of UNI. You know, if you need help with
housing it or financial food, they help. They help with everything.
(39:37):
If there's any students future students looking to study at
the University of Wollogon, whether you live down here or
whether you don't, hit Will the Younger up because they
are incredible and yeah, they're just so good. Like without
their support, I probably wouldn't still be here at University, especially,
you know with the racism that had happened to me
(39:59):
within my first two weeks, Like they stepped in and
they sorted it out pretty much straight away, like they
weren't putting up with that. So it's good to have
support networks as well. You know, it's a safe space
for our mob here at UNI, and everyone feels like
one big family. Well we are, like my mom, We're
one big family. And you know, I've met like two
of my cousins any like that. I didn't even know
(40:21):
what my cousins. Two I met them. So you make
connections everywhere in here. But and like opportunities you get
in here. You know, I'm doing the Shiten Ambassador role
this year with Willly Younger, So part of my role
is to do the my Future Matters program mentoring the
year seven to twelve students in high school to set
them up for success with educational employment, and then also
(40:43):
a bit of tutoring with the school students, but also
being faceable Younger so you know, doing cultural events like NATO,
run them stores at NATO, doing all sorts of different
little jobs around here. So yeah, big shout out to
my mom here at Wllly younger.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
Oh gosh, it's yeah, so inspiring.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
My sister hear the way that you are showing up
for for others, you know, and it's one of those
things that I'm reminded of.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
I guess in yarning with you that you know, our
experiences don't necessarily.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
Define us, No, it just makes Yeah, they shape the
the wisdom and the resilience and that you know, that
sense of staunchness that we that we carry.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
And you know, it's clear to me obviously.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
That you know, you have been through so much and
yet here you are, you know, growing, healing and and
doing the best you can to show up. And you
mentioned throughout this conversation a few times, and I want
to to sort of respectfully see how you feel about
talking about this. But you know, we know, especially for
more that you know, our healing isn't linear. You know,
(41:49):
we sometimes have moments where we're doing really well and
we can show up, but yeah, and then we have
step backs and we you know, fall back and all
of that is a part of the process. And so
I want to just sort of you know, you mention
that you know, having issues with mental health, and there
are a lot of people who do myself listeners. It's
something that we all sort of navigate in times of
(42:11):
our lives or throughout our lives.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
You know, how do you draw strength and support outside of,
say your culture, in managing some of those like harder
days where you just don't want to do it anymore
because you have so much drive.
Speaker 3 (42:25):
And I'd love to because there might be people out
there who you know, are so inspired by you, but
might not be feeling their best selves right now as well.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
And so yeah, yeah, I want to have that conversation,
you know, what gets you through the harder moments.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Oh that's a good one. I've you know, I'm still
only very young, Like I'm only twenty, Like I'm an adult.
But to my family, I'm still a kid. Like I'm
still their baby. I'll always be their baby. But I
think the past, let's say like this year. This year
(42:59):
has been different for me. This year is the first
year where I'm not involved domestic violence. I'm not involved
around negative environments for needy people, I don't have negative relationships.
I'm away from all of that this year, And I
always sit down and think like wow, like my life
has actually gotten so much better. You know, my grandfather
(43:21):
that I did live with. He's gone into a nursing home.
That was that was hard because I was raised by
him for my whole life. You know, this time last year,
I was still at home with him. Everything was all great,
but in August he got quite sick and ended up
in hospital for about five months before transitioning into the home.
And it wasn't just hard on me, but it was
(43:42):
hard on him and to see him struggle so much.
It was really really tough. That whole time he was
in the hospital. I think I was there almost. It
wasn't every day, it was like every second day I
was in that hospital seeing him, whether it be for
a couple hours an hour, I was there. Every day.
I was there and I seen him struggle and it
was hard. And it wasn't until he actually went into
(44:05):
the nursing home. I was like shit, like what I do?
Because I had moved into my auntie's home when he
was in the hospital, and then like to be told
that he's going to a nurse and home. It's really hard,
very hard, especially because I see him as my dad,
Like that's like, that's my dad, you know, he raised
me for my baby, That's that's who I call my
(44:26):
dad and without him, I wouldn't have had any opportunities
in life or been able to do anything. And he
obviously never thought that he'd be able to go to
an earth or have to go to a nurse's name. Sorry,
so it's been so tough. And then obviously like it
split me and my older brother away from each other,
and like it's not just affecting me, but like my
(44:49):
older brother, like I have yarns with him on the
phone because we don't live together now, so we don't
really see each other, which is sad because we would
see each other every day. We lived together for twenty years.
So you know, I call him up on the phone
and I know he's struggling, but you know, men like
men don't show their emotions and they never do and
(45:10):
he only has just kind of opened up to me.
I'm like, thank you, like, thank you for opening up
because I want to help you. But it's hard with
men because yeah, they don't, you know, show up. But
it's important because you know, mental health is higher in
men obviously than women. But yeah, like without culture, I
guess the way I handle my mental health is a
(45:32):
lot different to what I used to. So I guess
in the past, I didn't understand how to take care
of my mental health and well being, when now I've accepted,
you know the fact that Pops in a nursing home.
I'm living with my Arnie. Life is good and my
at UNI. I go to the gym, I read books,
I go for walks, I see my pop still, which
(45:55):
is great. But I still have those days, in those
moments where I feel like, oh, like just give up
or you know, stuff this, or I can't do it.
But just like, positive self talk is really important, and
that's what I found that has helped me. So instead
of like sinantaying I can't, I can't account, you sit
there and say like, I can do it, because you
(46:17):
can do anything you mind to. And surrounding yourself with
good people and good energy is definitely a big factor.
Like if you're in a shit situation right now and
you know it's shit and you want to leave, leave now.
So yeah, that's how I, Yes, I handle my mental health.
It's just staying active and surrounding myself around good people
(46:37):
and I just.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Yes, yeah, I mean, you're as I said before, I
feel like I'm in the presence of an elder even
though you're twenty years old, because you know you and
your story holds such immense power and wisdom, and I
really appreciate you sharing those really beautiful, generous ways to
care for yourself, like.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
Even with mental health, Like I don't just have mental
health from trauma from being careful, from losing loved ones,
but I have mental health from going to an athlete
to obviously not being the athlete anymore. That's a lot,
because there's some days where I go to the gym
and I'm like, why am I even at the gym,
(47:18):
Like I can't play rugby anymore? Like what am I
doing at the gym? Or trying to compare myself to
other people at the gym, Like I don't care anymore,
Like I just go to the gym, do my thing,
do it for my own mental health and well being,
on my own fitness. And you know, I still struggle
with my mental health every day. Definitely, there's still little
moments that I have, But I guess the main mental
(47:39):
health struggle is obviously rugby. You know, going from an
athlete to obviously nothing, it's so hard, but then having
to see all your friends succeed in that, like I'm
so proud of every one of my friends that are
still playing rugby and getting all the opportunities they get
in and winning their games and being able to play like,
(47:59):
good on you keep going. But yeah, I get really
bad from am I over watching rugby or just talking
about you know, girls playing it hard. But I have
good networks around me, so that definitely plays a key
in my life. Is all my support, like my family,
people can community, my elders. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:21):
Yeah, and I guess I'm hearing you know, just that
there is not there's not a one size fits all,
and that there is always going to be inevitably struggles
in our life.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
Yeah, everyone's stuff is with mental health, whether it's small
or big struggles. Everyone has it. No one's perfect, no
one will ever be perfect. You'll have good weeks or
good days where you feel good and then you have
shit times and shit weeks, and like especially grieving, like
you talk about grieving, it comes and goes, It comes
(48:50):
and goes. You know, after I lost my brother, I
grieved for a few years like just on and then
it's like on and off, on and off, and it
happens like there's no time where grieving stuffs you'll always
grieve your grief from that trauma, all grief from that
loss always, But it's the way you handle it, you know.
(49:10):
I try and think of the positive things in life
and what I have in life because there's a lot
of mob out there that don't have what I have,
so I'm really grateful. Or it's you know, if I
see like or hear like about someone or some mob struggling,
I'm like, oh, okay, like I've got that, but you don't,
So like I've got to be more grateful. So it
(49:31):
gives me a bit more gratitude, a lot of gratitude
because you know, there's so many people out there that
don't have what I have, and I'm just like, that's bad.
It's really sad. You know. I teach the bus to
Communion and I see homeless people all the time, and
it breaks my heart because people judge them so much,
but I can't. You know, my dad, we haven't had
(49:54):
contact with him since we were little, and last time
we heard, he was homeless in his car. But you know,
homeless people aren't bad people not They're not all people
Like No, that's sad to see them because I'm like shit,
like they're on the middle of the pathway having to
sleep when I've got a whole, big, nice house under
(50:14):
my roof. And yeah, just be grateful for what you
have and don't wish for more.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Yeah, such beautiful advice, my sis.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
I really appreciate you sharing some of those, you know,
really practical and beautiful tips of ways that you care
for yourself and maybe inviting others to do the same.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
I think you're right.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
Everybody does struggle from time to time or have periods
in their life where they're in the struggle, and the
power of gratitude, of finding community, of finding culture, having
good people and movement and being.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
Active can help.
Speaker 3 (50:50):
And also just a bit of grace sometimes that we're
going to make mistakes and we're going to get things,
you know, we're going to be messy and maybe hard
on ourselves, and that this is a journey of learning
to love ourselves in ways that can feel difficult when
we haven't had.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
Those early experiences as well.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:12):
Yeah, wow, I mean, yeah, I just want to again
just acknowledge that, Yeah, what an incredible person you are.
You know, I know you've had some difficult experiences, but
if you strip back all of that experiences.
Speaker 1 (51:25):
You know, you're more of your spirit.
Speaker 3 (51:27):
Your heart and who you are is really important and
really valued, and I'm just so grateful for you. And yeah,
I just want to remind you that, yeah, your story
holds power and there's going to be people out here
who will be listening to this and be really inspired
and really grateful that you came on to share some
(51:49):
of your experiences and some of your wisdom with us.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
Thank you so much, so thank you.
Speaker 3 (51:56):
Anything else that you want to get off as we
close today's conversation, I will put Kiali's social media handle
and our mob our voices into our show notes, but yeah,
anything else that you want to get off your chairs
on my sist or anything else that you know you
feel called to share in this moment as we look
(52:17):
to close up today's beautiful conversation, just thank you.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
For having me on the podcast. And you know, to
all my support networks, my family, my people in my community.
You know, without their support, I wouldn't obviously be here today.
What I'm doing in the shout out to the MOB
at all younger. Their support and like their support networks
for MOB is so amazing. So yeah, thank you for
(52:43):
allowing me to use this space to recording today and
yet as a proud Aboriginal woman, like I'm committed to
making a difference for my people in my community, you know,
using my voice and to anyone piecing challenges, like your
story matters, like no matter what you've been through, and
you can rise above and there's always support around you
and you can achieve anything you want. So yeah, and
(53:03):
screw forward together and thank you for having me on
your podcast.
Speaker 3 (53:07):
Well what a beautiful way to sort of try best
to close this part of your journey, which is still
very much developing.
Speaker 1 (53:14):
But that, yeah, knowing that your story matters.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
Yeah, you're all work. And I actually want to read
a text message that my pop sent to me. He's
blessing him. I love him to be its big shout
out to him. Not that he would probably listen to
this because he didn't know how to come on a podcast,
but all good, I will, you know, send him the recording.
(53:39):
I sent him a video of me at the gym.
I'm very proud of myself at the gym because, you know,
going from playing footy to nothing and lifting the weights
I've been lifting. You know, there's always people out there
and every time I Pop sends me a message like this,
it makes me a bit emotional. But he sent a
(54:00):
message last night saying good night, I love you, so
proud of you. Never give up. I'll see you on Saturday.
So I just wanted to put that out there because
he is so sweet. And yeah, never give up, Yeah,
beautifully said Pop.
Speaker 1 (54:16):
And what a really beautiful reminder.
Speaker 3 (54:18):
And it's clear that you're out here not giving up,
and you're helping light the way for a lot of
other flows.
Speaker 2 (54:25):
Come yes, yeah, and I can always sit there. I
think like there's sometimes way like UNI's great. I love UNI,
but sometimes you don't have good days at UNI, and
you feel like giving up, and or like even at
the gym, I feel like giving up. And in the
back of my head, I'm like, nah, I can't give up.
Not for my Pop. I'm doing everything for myself, but
(54:47):
for the people who've raised me like I want to
and just like in general, like I want to prove
everyone who said I couldn't do this. I want to
prove them wrong, Like I am proving them wrong, you know,
I want to prove all of them wrong. So yeah, yeah,
so thank you giving me on here. I really appreciate it,
and yeah, I love listening to this podcast all the time,
(55:09):
so to be a special guest on here daybe definitely
means a lot to thank you.
Speaker 3 (55:14):
Thank you my sis, I'm so grateful for you in
your time, and yeah, reminding us to keep going when
we can and give ourselves grace when we can't.
Speaker 4 (55:23):
So yeah, thank you or love yes, thank you so
much for listening you mob. If you are vibing this
season and yarning up, then please head over to Apple, Spotify,
or wherever you get your podcasts from to show us.
Speaker 1 (55:41):
Some love, rate and review.
Speaker 3 (55:43):
Alternatively, you can get in contact and give us some
feedback by visiting www. Dot carolinecol dot com dot au
Speaker 4 (56:04):
Don't
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