January 22, 2023 • 11 mins
Tips to help start the new school year right
Topics included in this episode -
- Help them be familiar with the school
- Wear in the school shoes
- Learn to tie shoe laces
- Meet the teacher earlier
- Organise a play date before school starts
- Communicate extra needs with the teacher
Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families
Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
time poor parent who just wants answers.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Now pop into the school and just sort of tap
on the door of reception and you can say, we
just wanted to know if we could go for a
walk around the school, maybe have a tour, maybe meet
one or two people so that my little one feels secure.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
And now here's the stars of our show, my mum
and dad.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Hello everybody, Happy Monday.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
This is doctor Justin Colson, the founder of Happy Families
dot com dot you.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I'm here with Kylie, my wife and mum.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
To our six children as we get ready for Queensland schools,
heading back our kids in the uniforms, their shoes, last
minute dashes the shops over the weekend this week. For
everyone else around the country, it's going to be your
opportunity to get that done.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
But today on the.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Podcast, we wanted to talk about preparing first time as
we've got little kids to go to school for the
first time, little kids are going to like pre school
for the first time, maybe some kids that are starting
a brand new school because there's been movement across the summer,
across the holidays, and we thought it'd be useful to
share a couple of ideas to help with anxiety and
nerves and the challenges associated with being a first timer
(01:12):
on a big day at school with the year kicking off.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
So the other day, this feels like a little bit
of a tangent, but stay with me. The other day
I took our twenty year old out to buy her
first pair of Doc Martins. Right, so she heads off
to England for eighteen months next month.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yeah, we only got in fact, it's about a month today.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
And Doc Martin's aren't her usual choice of shoe, but
she needs a good sturdy walking shoe. Pretty much will
be the only shoe she has for eighteen months. Yeah,
and these have been highly recommended and it needs.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
To be wear the proof because she's going to be
in the northeast of England so cold.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
And as she put them on and I looked at her,
she said, is everything okay?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Mom?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
And I just completely teared up and it reminded me
like this is a massive milestone in her life and
for any parent going through first time starting school, it
can be such an emotional time and seeing your little
five year old in their school time. Do you remember
when Lily.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
It's heart melting Lily.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
It was our shortest little one, and so everything just
there was no space between her socks that had to
be pulled up and her shorts because her little legs
were so that's right, and there's just there is so
much emotion around it, and it's just it's such a
joyful and exciting time, but for a parent, there's so
much anxiety around you know what that first day is
(02:39):
going to look like. So today let's talk about a
few things that we can do to help children and
moms and dads get through those things.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
With these So we've done first days with six children
now in terms of starting school or starting daycare.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
But also with starting new schools.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
We've moved a handful of times, as long time listeners
to the podcast would know, So we've.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Really been through this a lot.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I want the bulk of our conversation to be about
kids starting big school for the first time, but I'm
sure that there'll be a lot in here that's useful
for any other context. Okay, so if you've got your
four or five year old who's heading off to school,
these are the things that we think that you should know.
The first thing that I want to mention is to
the extent that it's possible help them to be familiar
with the school. There's something so everyone craves predictability. Everyone
(03:26):
craves a sense of security, a sense of knowingness. We
want to know where we're safe, we want to know
what's going on. And I know that it might be
too late for many families, but there'll be plenty of
people who are listening to this right now whose kids
start school, I don't know tomorrow, or the day after
or next week sometime, which gives you the opportunity to
pop into the school today or tomorrow or sometime in
(03:49):
the next few days and just sort of tap on
the door of reception. They will be there and you
can say we're starting the school, we're brand new. We
just wanted to know if we could go for a
walk around the school, maybe have a two maybe meet
one or two people, so that my little one feels
secure and knows where the toilets are and knows where
I'm going to pick them up each afternoon, and has
(04:09):
a sense of what's going on. That predictability, that sense
of security is huge for helping kids feel less anxious.
And we've both done it and not done it, And
the times that we've done it, it's worked out so
much better for our kids well.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
And I think that schools are getting better and better
at dealing with this orientation. You know, very often you'll
have an opportunity for your kids to go to school
for half a day with all of their new classmates
for the following year, yeah, and get to meet their
teacher and see that space. And it creates a sense
of excitement because there's all this new stuff to play
(04:45):
with and oh, I actually like that little girl over
there or the little boy or whatever. So being able
to kind of tap into anything that's available from a
school perspective to help you navigate those early first days
is going to be really important. But even just you know,
going for a drive past the school. If the school's
(05:07):
within driving distance, you know, and that's what you're going
to do. Then taking a drive every day, go past
the school. This is what we do.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Or there's your school, yep.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
If you're walking or riding a bike, actually do it,
practice it, let them know the way that it goes.
And like you said, it builds that I can hear
it in your voice. It builds that anticipation. It's something
to look forward to.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
And I think that that's so important as parents, Like,
there is so much anxiety around leaving your child for
the first time at big school. It's a big deal.
You've gone from having a child that, for all intents
and purposes, has been with you twenty four seven and
all of a sudden, you're going to put it in
someone else'scare for five days of.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
The week, with hundreds of other kids more time, and
some of them are so big, Like it gives year.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Sixers so different, so different, and the child adult ratio changes,
So there is so much to think about, but just
creating the anticipation and excitement around all of the new
experiences that you'll get to have will go a long
way to helping your child get through that first day.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Okay, So I want to share something really practical as
my second idea, and that's just make sure that the
school shoes are worn in Like, it's a small thing,
but if they're wearing especially the black standard school shoe
that so many schools require as part of the uniform,
they're going to.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Get sore feet.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
They're going to feel horrible if they're wearing them for
the first time on the first day of school. So
get them to wear them for an hour or two,
a couple of times this week, a couple of times
here and there, not all day, just a bit here
and a bit there, wear the shoes in well.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
Even letting them wear their uniforms. It might mean that
the uniform gets dirty and they're going to have to
be washed before school goes back the first day or whatever,
but again, allow them to have that experience and be
excited about that. I actually had a visual right then
of baby number three. She wasn't going to school at
this point, but I remember this were and she wanted
(06:58):
to wear the uniform and it was way too big
for her, and it meant I had to wash it again.
But it was allowing her to have the opportunity to
experience what her sisters were experienced and continue to build
the excitement around what she could look forward to.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
So I'm not going to suggest that you force this
and say let's put the uniform on, and you can
if they've got the interest and if they're open to it.
It just helps them to get used to how they've
got to do the button up or whether the uniform
fits properly. They can wear the shoes in. It just
helps everything.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Well.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
Often those buttons are really stiff too, because it's all
new and starchy. The zips. They just need a little
bit of a work in. Learning how to tie their shoelaces. Yeah,
you know, you can have lots of fun around learning
to tie your shoelaces. Miss eight, she actually went to
the shops and she said, I don't want valcros anymore.
I want to wear laces. And the shop attendant asked
her if she could do laces, and she said, yeah,
(07:48):
I do bunnies.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Right, So Kylie.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
A couple of other ideas that I think are going
to be useful for any parent who's.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Saying good luck. You know you're on your own. It's
big school time.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I reckon knowing the teacher, having some sort of a
meet and greet, some familiarity with the teacher, building a relationship,
creating a level of involvement there is going to be
really important.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
It helps to.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Create that sense of safety and security that I've highlighted
a couple of times, and classmates to the extent that
it's possible. Now, not everyone can do this, but if
your kids know, if they've got friends from the neighborhood
who are going. I reckon it's great if they can
build those relationships and extend that. The importance of relationships
in the extent to which a child feels like they
(08:30):
belong in a school environment a school classroom cannot be overstated.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
I agree. One of the best things we actually did
was one year when we moved schools. We said to
the staff, we don't know if you can help us,
but it would be so good if our kids could
meet a few of their classmates before we go to school,
and they organized it. They sent messages to a few
parents who then got in contact with us and said,
we'd love to meet you and your family. Why don't
(08:55):
we go to the park, And it just made such
a difference on day one, having someone that was familiar.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Perfect, And I think that's probably about it. Obviously, if
the kids are older, you can still try all of
these ideas. They'll still be useful. In fact, the story
that you've just shared, we had kids across the entire
school spectrum, from sort of the youngest years right up
to the later high school years. It makes such a
difference when the relationships are able to be developing and
(09:21):
there's a sense that it's okay, I know someone here.
I'm not going to be on my own. I'm not
going to be isolated. I think loneliness is really the
number one thing.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
I guess. The other thing that I would say is
if a child has.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Any additional needs. A lot of parents are reluctant to
talk to new teachers or a new school about their
child's ADHD or autism or whatever else it might be.
My recommendation is, get on the front foot, be there early,
Talk to the teacher, talk to the principal, talk to
whoever it is that you need to talk to, and
say I wanted to get in here early and let
(09:52):
you know because I want to have a really positive
working relationship with you around this.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Well, you're pre arming. Yes, yes, it's about this my
child and this is who they are. And the more
your teacher is aware, the more they're able to work
with your child.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
But what you're also doing is you're creating a unified approach.
You're saying, we're on the same team here. I want
to let you know I'm going to communicate clearly with you.
I want you to be able to communicate clearly with me.
These are the kinds of challenges that you might have.
Here's how we address it at home. You get to
work with the teachers, and most teachers, I mean I'm
in and out of schools most days of the year
(10:28):
with my presentations, and most teachers that I work with
are really open to that and really responsive to it.
It's true that not every school has one hundred percent
perfection when it comes to teachers, but most teachers will
respond really well well.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
And sometimes it's not actually about whether or not the
teachers a good teacher or a bad teacher. I'm putting
that inverted commas there, but personalities. Sometimes we just don't click.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah, yeah, you don't need to have to have AD
to not click with the teacher.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Sometime it's just it just is the way it is.
But the more communication can have again, the better the
experience will be.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Hopefully well, we hope these ideas have been helpful for
anyone who's preparing their first time as for their first
day of big school or the first day at a
new school.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Thanks so much for listening.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Rulan from
Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer. Tomorrow a
big conversation. How many extracurricular activities is too much, how
many is not enough?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
How do we know where to draw the line around that.
It's all coming up on the Happy Families podcast tomorrow
It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
time poor parent who just wants answers.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Now pop into the school and just sort of tap
on the door of reception and you can say, we
just wanted to know if we could go for a
walk around the school, maybe have a tour, maybe meet
one or two people so that my little one feels secure.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
And now here's the stars of our show, my mum
and dad.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Hello everybody, Happy Monday.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
This is doctor Justin Colson, the founder of Happy Families
dot com dot you.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I'm here with Kylie, my wife and mum.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
To our six children as we get ready for Queensland schools,
heading back our kids in the uniforms, their shoes, last
minute dashes the shops over the weekend this week. For
everyone else around the country, it's going to be your
opportunity to get that done.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
But today on the.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Podcast, we wanted to talk about preparing first time as
we've got little kids to go to school for the
first time, little kids are going to like pre school
for the first time, maybe some kids that are starting
a brand new school because there's been movement across the summer,
across the holidays, and we thought it'd be useful to
share a couple of ideas to help with anxiety and
nerves and the challenges associated with being a first timer
(01:12):
on a big day at school with the year kicking off.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
So the other day, this feels like a little bit
of a tangent, but stay with me. The other day
I took our twenty year old out to buy her
first pair of Doc Martins. Right, so she heads off
to England for eighteen months next month.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yeah, we only got in fact, it's about a month today.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
And Doc Martin's aren't her usual choice of shoe, but
she needs a good sturdy walking shoe. Pretty much will
be the only shoe she has for eighteen months. Yeah,
and these have been highly recommended and it needs.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
To be wear the proof because she's going to be
in the northeast of England so cold.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
And as she put them on and I looked at her,
she said, is everything okay?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Mom?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
And I just completely teared up and it reminded me
like this is a massive milestone in her life and
for any parent going through first time starting school, it
can be such an emotional time and seeing your little
five year old in their school time. Do you remember
when Lily.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
It's heart melting Lily.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
It was our shortest little one, and so everything just
there was no space between her socks that had to
be pulled up and her shorts because her little legs
were so that's right, and there's just there is so
much emotion around it, and it's just it's such a
joyful and exciting time, but for a parent, there's so
much anxiety around you know what that first day is
(02:39):
going to look like. So today let's talk about a
few things that we can do to help children and
moms and dads get through those things.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
With these So we've done first days with six children
now in terms of starting school or starting daycare.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
But also with starting new schools.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
We've moved a handful of times, as long time listeners
to the podcast would know, So we've.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Really been through this a lot.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I want the bulk of our conversation to be about
kids starting big school for the first time, but I'm
sure that there'll be a lot in here that's useful
for any other context. Okay, so if you've got your
four or five year old who's heading off to school,
these are the things that we think that you should know.
The first thing that I want to mention is to
the extent that it's possible help them to be familiar
with the school. There's something so everyone craves predictability. Everyone
(03:26):
craves a sense of security, a sense of knowingness. We
want to know where we're safe, we want to know
what's going on. And I know that it might be
too late for many families, but there'll be plenty of
people who are listening to this right now whose kids
start school, I don't know tomorrow, or the day after
or next week sometime, which gives you the opportunity to
pop into the school today or tomorrow or sometime in
(03:49):
the next few days and just sort of tap on
the door of reception. They will be there and you
can say we're starting the school, we're brand new. We
just wanted to know if we could go for a
walk around the school, maybe have a two maybe meet
one or two people, so that my little one feels
secure and knows where the toilets are and knows where
I'm going to pick them up each afternoon, and has
(04:09):
a sense of what's going on. That predictability, that sense
of security is huge for helping kids feel less anxious.
And we've both done it and not done it, And
the times that we've done it, it's worked out so
much better for our kids well.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
And I think that schools are getting better and better
at dealing with this orientation. You know, very often you'll
have an opportunity for your kids to go to school
for half a day with all of their new classmates
for the following year, yeah, and get to meet their
teacher and see that space. And it creates a sense
of excitement because there's all this new stuff to play
(04:45):
with and oh, I actually like that little girl over
there or the little boy or whatever. So being able
to kind of tap into anything that's available from a
school perspective to help you navigate those early first days
is going to be really important. But even just you know,
going for a drive past the school. If the school's
(05:07):
within driving distance, you know, and that's what you're going
to do. Then taking a drive every day, go past
the school. This is what we do.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Or there's your school, yep.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
If you're walking or riding a bike, actually do it,
practice it, let them know the way that it goes.
And like you said, it builds that I can hear
it in your voice. It builds that anticipation. It's something
to look forward to.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
And I think that that's so important as parents, Like,
there is so much anxiety around leaving your child for
the first time at big school. It's a big deal.
You've gone from having a child that, for all intents
and purposes, has been with you twenty four seven and
all of a sudden, you're going to put it in
someone else'scare for five days of.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
The week, with hundreds of other kids more time, and
some of them are so big, Like it gives year.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Sixers so different, so different, and the child adult ratio changes,
So there is so much to think about, but just
creating the anticipation and excitement around all of the new
experiences that you'll get to have will go a long
way to helping your child get through that first day.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Okay, So I want to share something really practical as
my second idea, and that's just make sure that the
school shoes are worn in Like, it's a small thing,
but if they're wearing especially the black standard school shoe
that so many schools require as part of the uniform,
they're going to.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Get sore feet.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
They're going to feel horrible if they're wearing them for
the first time on the first day of school. So
get them to wear them for an hour or two,
a couple of times this week, a couple of times
here and there, not all day, just a bit here
and a bit there, wear the shoes in well.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
Even letting them wear their uniforms. It might mean that
the uniform gets dirty and they're going to have to
be washed before school goes back the first day or whatever,
but again, allow them to have that experience and be
excited about that. I actually had a visual right then
of baby number three. She wasn't going to school at
this point, but I remember this were and she wanted
(06:58):
to wear the uniform and it was way too big
for her, and it meant I had to wash it again.
But it was allowing her to have the opportunity to
experience what her sisters were experienced and continue to build
the excitement around what she could look forward to.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
So I'm not going to suggest that you force this
and say let's put the uniform on, and you can
if they've got the interest and if they're open to it.
It just helps them to get used to how they've
got to do the button up or whether the uniform
fits properly. They can wear the shoes in. It just
helps everything.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Well.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
Often those buttons are really stiff too, because it's all
new and starchy. The zips. They just need a little
bit of a work in. Learning how to tie their shoelaces. Yeah,
you know, you can have lots of fun around learning
to tie your shoelaces. Miss eight, she actually went to
the shops and she said, I don't want valcros anymore.
I want to wear laces. And the shop attendant asked
her if she could do laces, and she said, yeah,
(07:48):
I do bunnies.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Right, So Kylie.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
A couple of other ideas that I think are going
to be useful for any parent who's.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Saying good luck. You know you're on your own. It's
big school time.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I reckon knowing the teacher, having some sort of a
meet and greet, some familiarity with the teacher, building a relationship,
creating a level of involvement there is going to be
really important.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
It helps to.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Create that sense of safety and security that I've highlighted
a couple of times, and classmates to the extent that
it's possible. Now, not everyone can do this, but if
your kids know, if they've got friends from the neighborhood
who are going. I reckon it's great if they can
build those relationships and extend that. The importance of relationships
in the extent to which a child feels like they
(08:30):
belong in a school environment a school classroom cannot be overstated.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
I agree. One of the best things we actually did
was one year when we moved schools. We said to
the staff, we don't know if you can help us,
but it would be so good if our kids could
meet a few of their classmates before we go to school,
and they organized it. They sent messages to a few
parents who then got in contact with us and said,
we'd love to meet you and your family. Why don't
(08:55):
we go to the park, And it just made such
a difference on day one, having someone that was familiar.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Perfect, And I think that's probably about it. Obviously, if
the kids are older, you can still try all of
these ideas. They'll still be useful. In fact, the story
that you've just shared, we had kids across the entire
school spectrum, from sort of the youngest years right up
to the later high school years. It makes such a
difference when the relationships are able to be developing and
(09:21):
there's a sense that it's okay, I know someone here.
I'm not going to be on my own. I'm not
going to be isolated. I think loneliness is really the
number one thing.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
I guess. The other thing that I would say is
if a child has.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Any additional needs. A lot of parents are reluctant to
talk to new teachers or a new school about their
child's ADHD or autism or whatever else it might be.
My recommendation is, get on the front foot, be there early,
Talk to the teacher, talk to the principal, talk to
whoever it is that you need to talk to, and
say I wanted to get in here early and let
(09:52):
you know because I want to have a really positive
working relationship with you around this.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Well, you're pre arming. Yes, yes, it's about this my
child and this is who they are. And the more
your teacher is aware, the more they're able to work
with your child.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
But what you're also doing is you're creating a unified approach.
You're saying, we're on the same team here. I want
to let you know I'm going to communicate clearly with you.
I want you to be able to communicate clearly with me.
These are the kinds of challenges that you might have.
Here's how we address it at home. You get to
work with the teachers, and most teachers, I mean I'm
in and out of schools most days of the year
(10:28):
with my presentations, and most teachers that I work with
are really open to that and really responsive to it.
It's true that not every school has one hundred percent
perfection when it comes to teachers, but most teachers will
respond really well well.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
And sometimes it's not actually about whether or not the
teachers a good teacher or a bad teacher. I'm putting
that inverted commas there, but personalities. Sometimes we just don't click.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah, yeah, you don't need to have to have AD
to not click with the teacher.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Sometime it's just it just is the way it is.
But the more communication can have again, the better the
experience will be.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Hopefully well, we hope these ideas have been helpful for
anyone who's preparing their first time as for their first
day of big school or the first day at a
new school.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Thanks so much for listening.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Rulan from
Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer. Tomorrow a
big conversation. How many extracurricular activities is too much, how
many is not enough?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
How do we know where to draw the line around that.
It's all coming up on the Happy Families podcast tomorrow
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Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com