Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kabooms. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred
minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last
remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. The clearing
House of Hot takes break free for something special. The
(00:22):
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now, in the
air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny Gee.
And in the bag? What's in the bag? We go
as it is time now for the Sunday edition of
the Fifth Hour and Danny Gee, let's jump right in.
(00:44):
No dilly dallying, no small talk. We've got mail, We've
got actual listener mail. We must get to this is
very important. Wait, I gotta address one quick rumor though, no, no,
we don't have time. No, there's no time for that day. Yeah,
time for one. QUI a radio rumor? I heard. I
heard a rumor that a New York sports station was
(01:06):
trying to have meetings with you about joining their radio team.
And they told you if you go with them, you
will be a first ballot Radio Hall of Fame yeah,
that all the bad radio that I have done will
vanish just by merely being in New York. I will
(01:27):
I will immediately go to the Hall of Fame. Wrong,
So we're lucky to have you. Thank you. Yeah, well,
I have done radio from Manhattan, So does that mean
I'm going to the Hall of Fame Because I did
do multiple shows from the old w FA and studios
at the Queens of Stories Studio back in the day.
All right, but anyway, very nice, very funny, great cheap shot.
(01:49):
I love that. And the whole Derek Carr narrative all
week was ridiculous, Like this guy was a bum with
the Raiders and now he's a free agent. All then
to say, answer recruiting him? The Jets are recruiting him.
What are we doing? He's a he's a baseline quarterback
in the NFL? What the hell? Yeah, this would be
(02:09):
like if teams were going crazy over Kirk Cousins. You're
middle of the pack. So and I like him, I
root for him. I hope he does well. But your
middle of the pack AFC West, do you need an
elite quarterback? Yeah? All right, let's get to the to
the middle back. Ohio, aw strike up the band. Here
we go Ohio. All it's all right, very nice, and
(02:43):
these are actual letters by actual listeners. You can send
a question in care of Real fifth Hour at gmail
dot com, all letters, no numbers, Real fifth Hour at
gmail dot com. Or go to the Facebook page and
post your private message. What won't be private people Bill
see it the creepsters on Facebook. Ben Mallers Show. Ben
(03:05):
Maller Show is our Facebook page. First one comes from
Steve in North Augusta, South Carolina. He says last Saturday's
podcast was the best I loved, he said, the lost
key story. Who hasn't done that? He says, Ben, I
am a good twenty years your senior, and I can
tell you that that is the first sign of getting
(03:27):
on in years. No, this guy, Steve's warning me here
that I'm I'm doomed. It's all over now that I've
lost my keys. So that's the sign, he says. Danny's
school concert story is one we can all relate to.
The absolute worst child event is a swim meet. Steve says,
(03:48):
they go on and on so good, all these parents there,
they want to support their kids and like get this,
get this crap over. It will not end, it will
look when your butt falls asleep on a bleacher bench.
That's when you know it's been way too long. H
(04:09):
Steve also says what hit home for me was the
story about the happiest songs. I am sure all your
listeners were mulling over in their minds what song made
them happy. Mine did not make your list. It was
Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles, mainly George Harrison.
And then he tells this amazing story. Danny Steve tells
(04:31):
us the story. He says, he was a fighter pilot
stationed in Vietnam in nineteen seventy. This town I don't
know how to pronounce the tuy h Oa who, but anyway,
it was in Vietnam, and when the word came down
that our tours were being cut short by about five months,
(04:52):
we cranked up that song as loud as we could
get in at the squadron bar. Steve tells us that
when he got home, his wife told him that she
had done the same thing when she heard the news.
How cool is that. That's like that's out of a
movie or something like That's very cool. And speaking of movies,
(05:14):
that story makes me think of the great Rip Robin
Williams Good Morning Vietnam. One of the great stories about movies,
about radio radio and U and Steve says he still
cranks that song Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles.
Whenever he hears that song. I he wells up in tears.
(05:34):
That is great. So he appreciated. And Steve is the
guy a while back, Dan, he's a big fan of
the Pike, as he invited me in the previous host
West of the four or five, he invited us to
to go to the Master's golf tournament. He's in South Carolina,
but he's in Augusta, just you know, it crosses the
(05:55):
state line there and so I'd love to do that
at some point, Steve, I don't know if the offer
still stands, but that would be cool. I've never been
to Augusta, Georgia. That's one of those I'm not even
really like a huge golf fan. I played golf maybe
once a year, but that's one of those things like
that's the end all be all the masters that I
got to check that out as a sports fan at
(06:16):
some point if you have access to it. Next up
on the mail bag, we have oh, look at this
a legend a modern medical miracle. This guy was fighting
for his life not that long ago. He's overcome the odds.
He's on the comeback trail. The great j Scoop rights
in looking for some help Danny, some Tinderoni tips. He said,
(06:40):
I'm about five months removed from my last relationship. He says,
I chat here and there, but there's been no real
effort by me on the dating front yet. I know
my question is a moving target, but in general, he's asking,
this is more for you, Danny. I guess I'll chat
in as well. But what's the minimum maximum amount of
(07:01):
time you should wait before dating again, specifically following a
lengthy relationship? Says thank you for all the support and
for keeping me going with these awesome shows and a
podcast that is a legend. Chase Scoop proud military veteran
himself there and great musician, and so many people have
(07:23):
asked me about these different songs we get and a
lot of them came from the music stylings of Jay Scoop,
who was based in Seattle. Bey's back in California. So
any advice, Danny as the king of Tinderoni tips on
what Jay Scoop should do? Yeah, everybody is different when
it comes to this. So really it's how you're feeling,
and you'll know if you're ready, because when you go
(07:45):
on a date and you're no longer thinking about the
last relationship you were in, then you're ready to move forward.
Does it take two weeks, two months, two years? Everybody
is different? Well, back in my younger days, I'm so
old now, I guess I don't know, but I remember
when guys would break up and they would they would
(08:06):
immediately go a rebound highway. Danny, you know, you know
what I'm saying. They go out and is he talking
about casual dating like that or is he talking about,
like really getting into dating another girl. So he says
he's made no real effort to date on the dating front.
He does not address whether he's looking long term yeah,
(08:27):
or more of a good couple of hours, you know,
a good couple hour date something like that. I think
we all know the answer to that. I mean, you know, yeah,
men are are better at moving forward with having some fun.
But at the same time, if you're thinking about getting
into another relationship, or a girl wants some sort of
(08:48):
commitment out of you, at least for dating only her,
you gotta take your time and do that when you're
feeling right. Next up our guy, Kyrie and okaysee this
guy loves this podcast. We love him, he says, gentlemen
going to get to the point. Get to the point, please,
He says, why not have your boss on a Friday
(09:09):
interview podcast, Don Martin, I'm a man, I'm really busy,
my man, Kyrie says. Every time any one of you
guys at Fox Sports Radio impersonate him, I die laughing.
If not a guest at least a funny story. Uh,
you guys are you can? Danny g can impersonate him again?
(09:32):
Ha ha, Mom man, thanks as always for everything you do.
Much love from Kyrie and okay se I wonder if
Don would do it? He might do it? He might,
he might, he might. That would be funny. Yeah, Don's
Don's really become a character on the Network of Don.
I mean, we all have our Don stories. He's Yeah,
(09:53):
he's bigger than life. He's partially a cartoon character. Is
actually a very good businessman and and help I know
he's helped the company a lot over the years. We
goof on him, but he's mad. He's made a lot
of money for the company. That's why he's a great broadcaster.
And if you've ever heard the Petros and Money show
on AM five seventy LA Sports, they impersonate him often
(10:16):
as well, so you'll hear Petro say, my man, your
radio legend, my man. Well, I only see Don to
be young. I only see him once or twice a year.
I do the overnight show. And the only way I
would see him is I get in trouble. Usually every
couple of years or every year my contract comes up.
(10:37):
There's either an option or I have to negotiate a
new contract, which is really not a lot of negotiation,
but that's when I see Don. And so then when
I see Don's it's like a It's supposed to be
a half hour or an hour meeting, and it's like
three and a half four hours. You guys tell radio
stories to each other. Yeah, we're just nerding out, you know,
(10:57):
because we I've worked for Don in one form or another,
for you know, local radio, and then you know, he's
been the boss at Fox Sports Radio for probably about
I don't know, ten years plus, maybe something like that.
But I've known Don for well over twenty years, so
and I've met with him off and on and so
(11:18):
we know all the same people, we've lived in the
same circles, and so we talk about what has happened.
We also spent like half the conversation is is so
and so alive? What happened to him? What market is
this guy working in? You know? Or you remember that
bit we did back in the nineties that we can't
do now because times have changed, And so we talk
(11:40):
about that. Then we talk about our families and everything's
going on with that, and then we say what's going
to happen, you know, five years from now or ten
years from now in radio, like we go through that
part of the conversation with Don. But yeah, he is
so easy to impersonate, even someone like me that has
no ability impersonating anybody. Un we can go down there.
(12:04):
It's it's just absolutely wonderful. I'd be willing to put
Don on for you know, half hour, he'd do it,
he don I need to make the company some money,
my man, Come on now, give me give me some
good stories, my man. If you stay on the path
that you have been on right now, my man, you
could be the next Dan Patrick. I could have millions
of dollars, my man. You know, I have told Don
(12:27):
I don't know if I should say this on the podcast,
but when I've been to goostending of the contract, I
pointed out, like, you know, George Nori over there at
Coast to Coast, right down the hall, he's doing pretty,
he's doing better than me. He's driving a better car
than me. And then Don has to explain, well, my man,
that show has been on longer than you've been alive,
and art Belt built that show and now anyway, next up,
(12:49):
Terry from England writes in on the mail bag. He says, hey,
guys at Radio Row, did you talk to Tony Bruno? Yes?
I did have a chance to catch up with Tony.
I love Tony and he was hustling he and Tony's
so popular that everyone's trying to get Tony on their
podcast and their you know, radio shows, and a lot
of the Philly radio guys that were there we're trying
(13:11):
to get Tony. So he was bouncing between shows. But
we did catch up Tony and he told me what's
going on with him. We caught up. He survived that
big storm in Florida. He lost his motor home in
the hurricane. He just moved to Florida not that long ago,
and he had some medical issues last year, and he
said that he'd he had heard that we had Angelo
(13:32):
Cataldi on this podcast, and he said that he heard, Uh,
you know, I said, we said some good things about
Tony and so he appreciated that. He he thanked me
for that, and we said our hellos and our good byes,
and and I hopefully I'll see him next year in Vegas.
So it was it was great to see Tony. A
big fan, huge fan of dude. Yeah, good radio guy,
(13:55):
a legend in the business. Scott from northern Kentucky and
he says, hey, Ben and Danny Gee, Ben, we are
about the same age. Who was your first celebrity crush
growing up? The first one that was just hot to you?
I loved Morgan Fairchild also Ginger or mary Ann. Yeah,
(14:17):
so more of a Ginger than Mary Ann. Fan The
one that I loved, and I guess I was probably
in high school. Maybe I don't know. It was Pamela
Anderson back in her in her prime days were okay,
it was amazing. That was That was a big one
for me. But there were others. What about you, Danny
An he was it wonder Woman. Oh no, I would
(14:38):
say Tiffany Amberthson from Saved by the Bell. Not bad,
not bad. You know that was good that that cat
Woman in bat I liked the Batman with Adam West.
Every once in a while they put catwoman on that
cat suit was just amazing. Oh. I loved when Halle
Berry played that movie role. That's quite the outfit. That's yeah.
(15:01):
So that's the way to go. But thanks Nick, or
thank you Scott rather Nick in Wisconsin is next, he says,
Ben and Danny movie edition. One has to go forever
Action comedy, horror or porn. He says, ps, your wives
are not listening, so don't be scared. Okay, so you
(15:21):
have to get rid of one. Well that's easy for
me because I mean, I'm not a big horror guy.
I just I love comedy. I love you take horror guys.
You're talking about porn. No, no, no, I enjoyed No no, no,
I'm all ror. Okay. No, although horn is not, I
(15:41):
feel like that business is struggling because no one's paying
for it, and a lot of the top performers in
porn are now working on their own. They're like mom
and pop, Mom and pop porn shops with these fan
only pages or only fans, whatever it is. I was
just gonna yeah, I was just gonna say, I think
what's popular now more than back in the day. It's
(16:02):
like amateur videos and like real couples and stuff like
that rather than quote unquote porn stars, because they do
like a lot of hard slamming stuff that's nasty and
they look kind of beat up and nasty. So I
think that's something of the past now, So you'd get
(16:23):
rid of porn, But then the only fans is well, no,
I would get rid of like the hardcore porn star stuff. Yeah,
like the girls that just look beat up and ran through.
Just think Ron Jeremy had so much sex. He's now
like he's in a hospital, like an institution. The poor
guy all ran jew wild. I mean yeah, well, based
(16:43):
on the allegations against him. Yeah, no, I know, I
feel sorry for him. I mean, do you think that's
too much sex or I think, oh, that's good question.
We were kids and they said, you know, you gotta
be careful if you do too much. I was just
gonna say the first time we had sex, our parents
guilted us into thinking we were gonna die right away afterward,
(17:04):
exactly immediately. That's it. It's over. Yeah, you're done. Balls
are gonna fall off right now, it's done. I was
so worried the first time I ever made out with
a girl when I was in I don't know, I
guess it was ninth grade. I really thought I was
gonna die. I was like, what disease am I gonna get?
Did you think like I did that just by kissing
a girl, she was gonna get pregnant? Did you think
(17:26):
that that? No you did not, No, I didn't think that.
But I thought for sure I was gonna get some
sort of disease because my mom hammered it into our
heads that you're gonna die. You're gonna die, disease is diseases, diseases,
You're gonna die. Yeah. Unfortunately, as I've said many times,
the women made sure I did not have many opportunities
(17:46):
to partake in any of that. So thank you ladies.
At the time, I was very upset. Ozzie was from
Western Australia, rights in on the mail back. He says, Hey,
big Ben and the man Daddy g radio. So a
couple of weeks ago, you guys asked me a couple
of questions. So in regard to the knife. The knife
one that's a big no, as it is illegal to
(18:09):
carry a knife like Crocodile Dundee whats Yeah, anywhere in
Australia not allowed to do it. The hat one I
do have, he said, he does have that hat, which
is an AZZI made a hat for working outside. And
when I helped the brother in law on the farm. Oh,
(18:29):
and he sent a picture here. Oh, very nice. He's
got a photo of him and his daughter here. That's
very very cool. She's a good looking kid there. And
the only problem I had Ozzy was says with the
movie Crocodile Dundee is I don't know anyone that drinks
fosters as it tastes like piss. Maybe Doc Michael will
(18:54):
like it. But I do have questions for you guys.
What is the funniest sporting play you have ever? I
know a hard oh sports one bad job by me
from Ozzi Waz. Yeah, so I'm trying to think off
the top of my head. The funniest, well, yeah, the funniest, well,
I don't know if the ball bouncing off of Jose
(19:14):
Conseco's head well, yeah, yeah, but witnessed We watched that
on TV. The funniest one that I can recall, and
it's really not so much by the play that happened,
it's the reaction after. This is the nineteen nineties Philadelphia Phillies.
This was a pretty good team. They got to the
World Series after they had gone to the World Series
(19:36):
a couple of years after. Jim for Goosie, who passed
away a few years back, was the manager. For Goosie
was a firebrand. He was a hot hit right and
he was a grizzled old baseball man. And the Phillies
had this infield name Kim Batiste. I'll never forget his name.
He was playing third base and there was a line
drive that hit him right in the right in the
(19:57):
in the dick and it was a dick shot. And
so we're in we're in the visitors locker room at
Dodger Stadium, in the manager's office and for Ghosie's office,
and one of the Philadelphia writers out from the I
think it was the Inquirer, asked he asked him for Goosie.
He said, Jim, How's how's Batist doing? And for Goosie
(20:20):
without pausing, looked at this writer and said, I don't know,
you know, Frank or whatever. The guys he got hit
in the dick, you know, he got hit in the nuts.
What do you what do you think? How do you
think he's doing? He wasn't warning a cup, you know,
it was just the timing on what for? Ghostie said
in my head was hilarious. And uh that that is
(20:43):
one of the funniest things that I ever witnessed with
my my own eye. I mean there's other blooperd things
that It's like a scene out of a Major League
Baseball movie. Oh yeah, it was great. And I was
a young guy and I was like, this is the
funniest thing. He said, what do you do you think
he's doing? He got in the balls? All right? Next
(21:06):
up is from Pair waiting for the Key k Hernandez
shortstop here to begin in Boston. Oh my god, have
the Red Sox fallen apart? Dandy? Holy canoli on that? Anyway?
He says, the Massachusetts Lottery recently released a fifty dollars
scratcher ticket. My question to the two of you, gentlemen,
(21:28):
is a do you buy scratcher tickets? All officer scratch
off and b if you do, what is the biggest
amount you would spend on a single ticket, choose your
words wisely, Ben, Your answer could lead to many more
nicknames like Benny the Big Spender, Benny big Bucks for example. Yeah.
(21:48):
Remember a few years ago, I think you were part
of the show, Danny, when we had listeners sending us
lottery tickets. I was just gonna tell you that that's
the only time I've had scratch off tickets. We had
that really nice listener who would send a big stock
of them to the winner of book M the NFL
book them. Yeah, it was great two years in a row.
(22:09):
I am a two time NFL Book Them champion, back
to back years, by the way, and so I got
to scratch those tickets two years in a row. Yeah,
these were very expensive. So I don't think you should
spend too much on scratcher tickets. They claim the prizes
are bigger, But I do like scratcher tickets. I don't
play the lottery that much because I've been My dad
(22:30):
loved the lottery. I should what I should do is
on his birthday every year, I should buy a lottery ticket.
That's what I should do. It on to my dad. Yeah,
that's a good idea. Maybe I'll do that, but yeah,
you know, five bucks is five to ten bucks is
the most, and I don't I think i'd go as
cheap as you can get. I don't even know how
much the cheapest lottery tickets they still have the one
dollar tickets still or is it more than that. I
don't know, because I have a record going. You've never
(22:53):
purchased a cup of coffee for yourself. Yeah, you've never
paid for a role of sushi, that's true. I have
never span a penny on a lottery ticket. Oh all right,
well there you go. It is a stupid tax, but
it's fun, and so I understand why people do it.
And I like the scratcher ticket more than powerball. If
I'm playing the lottery, I'd prefer to play the scratcher ticket.
(23:16):
In my head, I have a much better chance of
winning than the powerball. Fred from Spring Texas writes in
he says, Hey, there, guys, great show all eight days
a week. Do the two of you have a particular
period of America or world history or certain personalities that
interest you? Sure? Yeah, I'm interested in a lot of
(23:39):
American history. I think going back to the Revolutionary War
with that must have been like the first people that
came to America who were not from here, from me,
from England. And then also the Civil War period of time.
I watched the Ken Burns documentary on the Civil War
What it must have been like to live in America
while it was at war. That must have been Why
(24:00):
old and crazy and scary and all that. What about you, Danny,
I loved when we studied the late eighteen hundreds, in
the early nineteen hundreds and on Paramount Plus it is
part of the Yellowstone franchise. There is a spinoff show
called eighteen eighty three with Tim mcgran faith Hill, really
good and then the one that's on right now nineteen
(24:21):
twenty three where the family's journey continues in Montana and
Harrison Ford is the star of nineteen twenty three, really
really good show. When you see all the stuff going
on in the early nineteen hundreds, it's fascinating, Yeah, because
it wasn't that far removed from the Civil War, Like
(24:42):
when my parents were kids. There were still at Veterans Day,
there were soldier veterans of the Civil War, and not
just from the North, from the South and they honored. Now,
of course the Wokesters would not allow that. You can't
honor the soldiers who fought for the Confederacy because they lost.
But but back then, in those days, they honored him
(25:02):
because they were all Americans and they celebrated them and
all that. And so it's kind of wild to think
that in my lifetime when I probably not when I
was around, but when my parents were were, you know, younger,
there were still people alive that had fought in the
Civil War. That's wild to me. That blows my mind away.
But that's how fast everything moves. A couple more here, Pete,
(25:25):
the machinist in Albany, Oregon, says, I absolutely love all
of the theme songs you have on the radio show
get used for bumper music, including the Christmas one. They're awesome.
He says, you have some talented listeners. Do you have
a favorite one? Mine was the Daniel Boone themed one
could listen to that on a loop. Yeah, that's really good.
(25:47):
We I don't know how to have a favorite. I
love a lot of the Christmas tunes are great because
I love the rhythm, I love the beat. I don't
really the words are cool. But I love that. And
he says he listens live occasionally, but he gets the
podcast every day. So that's Pete and we have talked
Danny about putting some of the songs on the pod
right occasional it's a song in So I was getting
(26:11):
a lot of tweets last weekend giving us some suggestions
on what external hard drives to purchase, looking out for
us to expand our hard drive space for the fifth hour?
Are those from management or listeners? Listeners? Oh, the management
doesn't give a shit. Yeah, I got you, all right,
(26:32):
Lee and Phoenix says, if a restaurant we're to do
a Mallard burrito, I pity the fool that doesn't give
me my burrito. What needs to be in the ingredients? Well,
that's a great ideally we do. We'd never had any
Mexican food. We've had chicken fingers. We have that at
the Landing in Kansas City, several locations there, A couple
of locations, the sports Book Bar and Grill in Denver,
(26:54):
a couple of locations there. The Mallard, the Mallard chicken sandwich.
We've got that, so that I had that when I
visited Denver. Yeah, that's great. The Mallard Fowler which is
at the Bird in Kansas uh in Lawrence, Kansas. We
used to have a dish in Michigan. We had a
pizza in Michigan, and we had in Syracuse we had
(27:15):
the Mallard the mau Zone, but we've never had any
Mexican food. The malar burrito um. A lot of meat,
a lot of cheese. Those are the basics. You mix
in some garlics, some bell pepper, some onion um and
you got to put a little pepper in there, a
little spice it up a little bit, and some some
salsa and definitely Ranch, no Ranch. I will not allow
(27:39):
my name to be used with the devil's blood. Will
not happen. But thank you Lee and anybody listen. If
you're a fan of the show and you want to
do it, and I think Danny you'd be open to
a food dish as well. We think it'd be great.
And if you want us to, you know, to contact us,
and you know we're asking for any money or anything
that will help promote. We love promoting mom and restaurants
(28:01):
and helping them out. And that's the cool thing that
all the places that have Mallard Food Dishes are owned
by individuals fans of the show that just loved the
show and they wanted to help promote the show. And
it's pretty cool. So I appreciate that we didn't have
time to get to Miss Luciano or j C who
said he wanted to know if we had our own
(28:21):
security because of all the crazy people that listen to
to the show. I don't know. I'm good what, Danny,
when we do make appearances, we are armed and dangerous
when we have when we have to be right. Oh dude,
and have the Super Bowl. You had more security than
any former or current football player. I mean, I'm talking
my man on media at night with all those players
(28:44):
came out with secret service dudes and all that. You
had more security than that. Yeah. I was the most
protected man in the history of radio for four hours.
Nobody else. I had swat team guys. I had security
at every doll or the single most secure radio person
in the history. I had my own army. I am
(29:06):
such a radio loser. In the Convention Center downtown Phoenix, Arizona.
We'll get out on that, Danny. Anything you want to
promote here on Sunday Sunday. Sunday Sunday is a rest
day for us where we say a prayer, Hi you Jesus,
thank God for you downloading these podcasts and giving us
(29:27):
a healthy family. And I hope you enjoy time with
your family as well. Thank you for downloading these podcasts.
And we will be back on the radio you tonight
and me on Monday afternoon with Covino and Rich. Yeah,
we'll be back yapping away another fingerlicking good I should
say earlicking good, not fingerlicking earlicking good podcast or radio
(29:49):
show tonight live eleven pm in the West on Sunday night,
that's two am in the East. We will kick things
off there on Monday morning and take you through the
overnight hours and have a great rest of your day
and we'll catch you next time later. Skater gotta murder,
I gotta go