Hour 3 - College Crisis

Ben Maller talks about the leaders of Notre Dame athletics writing an op-ed calling for changes to the NIL guidelines and for the NFL to create a minor league system, Lame Jokes of the Week, and much more!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome. It's our name Birth three hour three
of our radio show, The Doom and Gloom Crowd in
South Bend, Indiana. The Golden Dumbers are not happy. What
is the message Notre Dame is looking to make? As
they wrote an op ed in The New York Times

(00:22):
about the state of college athletics, where is this nil
story going? And thumbs up or thumbs down to the
need for federal guardrails on nil deals. We'll talk about
all of that and much more here. It is our
number three plus lame jokes of the week. Here we go.

(00:45):
The wings of change are howling. Well come. In the
beginning of another hour of the Ben Maller Show. We
are in the air everywhere as key collaborators as we
dare to risk, coast to coast, border to border and
beyond on the vast and imposingly powerful microphones of fs

(01:11):
are emanating live from the Gift the Gift of Gab.
We are broadcasting live from the tirerac dot Com studios
tirerac dot com. We'll help you get there and unmatched selection,
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(01:31):
should be Later this hour Big Ben's lame chokes of
the Week. These are actual jokes sent in by actual
listeners of the show. The comedy Club will be open
one night only, coming up about a half an hour
from now, give or take. But our lead comes from
the old Gray Lady. That's where the news this hour

(01:53):
comes from. It's where the blokes from South Bend were raising.
Holy hell, if you will, Holy hell, that's right to
big shot officials there from Notre Dame are not happy enough.
You didn't see this, and maybe you missed it. We
learned where she read that Notre Dame believes college athletics

(02:17):
is in crisis and they need big time changing. They're
they're calling for an intervention. They're talking about, among other things,
possibly breaking up the NC double A. There's a talk
of the one and done rule and changing some things around.
That is not just hearsay. That is from the horse's mouth.

(02:38):
Notre Dame president, somebody named John Jenkins and the athletic
director Jack Swarbrick, they teamed up. They formed Voltron. In
the New York Times op ed piece New York Times,
in a doom and gloom story, they say, the college
athletics face threats on a number of fronts. Oh no,

(03:03):
the pearl clutching, including but not limited to the growing
patchwork of contradictory and confusing state laws regulating college sports.
The op ed also says there also are the specter
of crippling lawsuits, the profusion of dubious nil deals, and

(03:25):
the misguided attempts to classify student athletes as employees. They're
still hanging onto that student athlete thing. They will not
let that go. That is the holy land they're holding
onto that student athlete thing. Underlying all of that, they say,
is the widespread belief that college athletics is simply a

(03:47):
lucrative business disguised as a branch of educational institutions. Okay,
so let's discuss there's more to it, but that's the
gist of it. So question, what is the message from
the iconic Notre Dame. So my observations, I've got toothpaste,

(04:09):
Bugle and Aristotle, and we'll put all of these things together,
and we are gonna make a nice apple pie with
a side of scoop of ice cream on the side.
There that's we're gonna make. Sounds pretty good. So number one.

(04:32):
Notre Dame brass. The big shots, the power brokers at
Notre Dame are feeling the heat right now. It's getting hot.
It's getting hot in here. They're singing the blues. How
great is that? The fighting Irish? They for so many years,
my entire life, the Fighting Irish have had a choke
hold on dominance. They weren't great every year, but in

(04:55):
terms of relevancy, in terms of revenue, touchdown own Notre Dame.
Touchdown Jesus in football and basketball my entire life. But
now we have stranger danger. The balance of power is
starting to shift and they don't like It's a slippery

(05:15):
slope for the golden domers and they are suddenly on
rocky ground. The root of the problem name image and likeness.
That is the boogeyman, the boogeyman. And here's the problem.
Notre Dame is so used to sitting in the penthouse

(05:35):
by themselves. You've now got these rogue actors with deep
pockets who have gotten onto the stage and they don't
like it. They're the new kids on the block and
Notre Dame doesn't like it. They're not used to this,
these interlopers. How dare them, so someone makes sure to
get John Jenkins, the president and Jack Swarbrick, the athletic director,

(05:57):
a brown paper bag because these guys are hyperventila who
man and so what they're trying to do here it's
like play though they're manipulating the play though they're using
a Connor McDavid style play from Hockey the power play.
The wheels are in motion to stop the madness, and

(06:19):
Notre Dame's gotta put their foot down. Gosh darnett. These
guys think that they'll be able to put the toothpaste
back in the tube. And if you've ever tried to
put the toothpaste back in the tube, good luck. Mission impossible.
Now good news. Notre Dame is going to be okay.
The brand insane to the membrane insane. I have buddies

(06:44):
of mine that I grew up with that are Notre
Dame fans who never went to Notre Dame. But they're Catholic,
so they're Notre Dame fans and for the rest of
their lives, even we're grown ups now, they still love
Notre Dame. Now, patient, where is the NILS store going?
What is that part of the story that peace to
the puzzle. So Notre Dame is leading the charge based

(07:08):
on what I read in this opted, they're leading the
charge to pump the brakes on the NIL deal. They
doubt like it. They don't like it because, as we said,
these outsiders are crashing the party and they don't have
complete control Notre Dame in a few other schools, and
they don't even pretend to hide this. Now, what is

(07:29):
my evidence? I would like to refer you back to
the op ed in the Old Gray Lady. Notre Dame's
president grumbled that the new NIL rules have quote proven
to be easy to abuse. God forbid, they say, to
avoid the NCAA prohibition, all the rules and regulations. Thought,

(07:50):
it goes directly to paying athletic recruits. Many schools funnel
money to avoid punishment. They funnel money to recruits under
the god eyes of a supposed third party licensing deal.
What's wrong with that? Says? Regardless of whether a players
nil have any market value whatsoever? All right, So I

(08:12):
want to hit the pause button on that part. College
athletics have been around for a long time. College athletes
have been paid for what at least one hundred years,
probably longer. The good ones straight cash homie in envelopes

(08:34):
does he think does the president of Notre Dame and
the people running Notre Dame do they think that the
fighting Irish fans are rubes, that there are a bunch
of Mama Luke's here and open your eyes. This is
not new. It's just a different way of paying the athlete.
And it opens up a whole lot more. I mean,
you can be a gymnast at LSU and if you're

(08:58):
easy on the eyes, you'll make a lot of money.
That's a whole new frontier that's open to all. Right,
let's go back to the op ed continued. The story says,
we must establish and enforce regulations and allow legitimate transactions
while barring those that are recruiting enticements for pay to play.

(09:23):
You know what that is, that's the money quote. They're
working as the facto lobbyists. It's as subtle as the
ACME Corporation providing us with a cartoon anvil and knocking
it on your head right, dropping it right in your head.
The bugle has been sounded to Capitol Hill, to the

(09:45):
lawmakers on Capitol Hill, the bugle has been sounded Notre
Dame as powerful as you can possibly get in college
athletics in America, and they are demanding change, come hell
or high water, they want it and they want it now.
Hoppity hop. They expect a stampede of lawmakers to come
to the rescue, to bring on the bureaucracy. Save us,

(10:08):
Save us, that's what they're saying. Protect the golden goose
because the goose is in danger and we don't like it.
So he lp help help help. Final point, so are
you can go thumbs up or thumbs down to the

(10:29):
need for federal guardrails on nil deals right now? It's
the Old West, so thumbs up or thumbs down because
that's what Notre Dame is getting at. They basically spelled
it out for you that they need federal guard rails.
So I am going to go two thumbs down two

(10:49):
thumbs down on that. And my belief is this, My
position is less is more when it comes to meddling
with rules and regulations, these things never end well. Right,
just looking America in general. Right, America was founded by
people that left England because they were worried that the

(11:12):
British people were concerned about the rules and the laws
and the taxation and all that. So they came to
America and now after the time America has been around
one hundreds of years, all of a sudden, that's the
same crap. Yeah, so that's what happened over time, The
same stuff happened. The NCAA is an example. That's my
evidence is the NCAA. Because these things do not end well.

(11:32):
They're the textbook example. If we can take you in
the hot tub time machine back almost a hundred and
twenty years, a journey back in time, this is four
generations ago, four generations ago. Nineteen oh five. President at
the time was a gentleman named Theodore Roosevelt, and he
was upset. He was concerned about death and injuries because

(11:57):
of football. Football was more popa. College football was the
most pop to the sport in America with like horse
racing and boxing. Never the NFL did not even exist
at that time, and so they had in nineteen oh five,
they had eighteen college football players die and one hundred
and forty nine suffered serious bodily injury. So the President's like, oh,

(12:19):
this is not good. The flying wedge was a human
battering ram and people were ending up in bodybags. So
in December of that year, thirteen colleges got together and
established the rules for football to make it safe. And
at that time they founded something which was known at
the time as the Intercollegiate Athletic Association of the United States,

(12:42):
and then in nineteen oh six they put thirty five
charter members into that institution. At organization, the purpose, the
object was to regulate and to supervise college athletics throughout
the United States, to make them safe, right for athletic
activity and all that. And they used it's like dignity
and high purpose of education and all that. A few

(13:04):
years later the name changed to what it is known
as to this day, the National Collegiate Athletic Association, the NCAA.
And over the years what started out is a very
noble effort to make sure that college football players do
not die. To save college football in America's because schools
we're getting rid of it. In nineteen oh five, that

(13:25):
outfit has grown into a three headed fire breathing dragon.
They just keep an eye layers and layers and layers
of red tape, and it's become a behemon. And I
will guaran fantee you that if a new wing of
government they get rid of the NCAA, and there's some
new government entity that will be designed to oversee nil

(13:47):
deals and all that, the same thing's gonna happen. History
will indeed repeat itself, and we believe in this. The
reason I gave this a thumbs down. I believe in
the teachings of Aristotle that water seeks its own level.
And it's a little wonky right now, it's a little crazy,
but everything will even out in the end. The boosters

(14:09):
are not going to continue to hand out money if
they keep getting burned. There will be a self regulation
by the marketplace of the boosting community. They're going to
cut back on their spending because they're not going to
get return on their investment. We will always have outliers.
It's not about the outliers. The other issue is this

(14:30):
is a victimless situation. Who's actually hurt by the nil
deals other than the president at Notre Dame. Nobody. The
athletes get paid. They're happy, the school gets the players,
so they're happy. The alumni are happy because they get
to watch the games with the players that are supposed
to be great. So there's no victim. If there's no victim,

(14:53):
there's no crime. So what's thet I don't get it.
I do not get it. But here we are. It
is the Ben Maller Show. If you'd like to come
out on any of that or anything else. We have
the beginning of the Sweet six team. We're now in
the Dirty dozen stage of the college basketball Tournament. We'll
be back to the Elite eight by the end of
play on Friday night as the Gonzaga Bulldogs they advanced,

(15:19):
came back to beat UCLA, Kansas State A winner, Florida Atlantic,
and Yukon the big winners in college basketball, and four
more slots we'll be handed out a little bit later on,
well actually a lot later on today if you'd like
to be part eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox
eight seven seven ninety nine six six three sixty nine.

(15:41):
And it's time now for the Mallor Riddle of the Day.
You can answer this on Twitter. It's the Mallard Riddle
of the Day. And a lot of our favorite professional
athletes and sports teams are on that Chinese social media
app TikTok, and that is where the Mallar Riddle of
the Day comes from. TikTokers have been worn against eating blank.

(16:03):
That's right the social media platform TikTok. The TikTok users
have been warned against eating blank. That is the mallor
riddle of the day. The answer, We'll get to it
and we will do it next. Be sure to catch
live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two
am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and

(16:27):
the iHeartRadio app Malla Militia. Turn on your radio. It's
time to listen to the manalashows in the air and everywhere,

(16:49):
So don't be named. I'm min Alarmist coming soon when
man begins to blow me. The show starspin Man Mallard
n joined the curious world of The Ben Maller Show online.
It is pain free and easy to do. Just follow
your host on Twitter. He's at Ben Mallard. Hey. You

(17:13):
can tweet at and follow our technical producer. He plays
all the music and most funny soundbites in The Ben
Maller Show. His first name is Roberto. His last name
is for As you Can Fall, m at Raider, Underscore
Rob twenty four, Ben Spend the Most live in I
Got Fat Bell Died Live fromtirock dot Com. Fox Sports
Radio Studios it's Ben mallersh Idella kids with Side. Yeah,

(17:39):
will we hear from spinsyco Regina who knows lame jokes?
The week coming up in a little bit later this hour,
we began with a Notre Dab Mallard monologue. They're not happy,
complaining a president of Notre Dame and also the athletic director,
Crumpy McCrum not happy at all. David rode in a

(18:05):
while ago, he says, how about a Mallard meet and
greet for the fans here in Houston? Boy, that would
be interesting. I might need protection, I might need some
muscle if we go to if we go to Houston,
I don't know that's a good idea. But anyway, are
you welcome back in Cleveland at this point? I don't know.
I'm not sure. I don't think I'll be in Cleveland anytime. So, yeah,

(18:26):
we've had some problems in the past with Cleveland. I've
had problems in Baltimore, Cleveland, Phoenix, Houston, anywhere else. Said
that I've had a beef with what'd you do to Cleveland?
I'd rather not get any but I'm sorry things. Yeah,
I just want to enjoy my weekend. I don't want
to rehashle old battles that we've had on the show.

(18:49):
All these things pop up, and unfortunately, there's a lot
of cheerleaders in the local media in these cities, and
they don't like when someone on the radio says something
that is not kind to their hometown team in the
you know, Roberto, people get sensitive and yeah, like Arizona, Oh,
that's very sensitive. I was right though, Oh god, I
was hallelujah Kyler Murray, what a disaster. That cheating as Oh,

(19:13):
I can't say it. I did say it so I
could say it. I said it, and that's the Yeah,
you did say it, but it's not supposed to say it. Well,
I was allowed to say it. You know what you
can do is they say asked one one thousand two,
one thousand, hoole is what you can see? Who taught
you that? I learned that earlier talk. No, there's it's
an old trick you can do in radio. Like I could,
I could say, I probably shouldn't do this. I was

(19:39):
about to do one that would would test the boundaries
Eddie of how we care no one's listening. Well, that
is true, all right? Anyway, Time now for the malor
riddle of the day. We go to these social media
platform TikTok, A lot of athletes on there, teams are
on there. It might be going away if the political
class get their way, and yeah, here we go the

(20:01):
malar riddle of day. TikTokers have been warned against eating
blank What is the answer to the mallar riddle of
the day? Bean boot Maker Bob says, pufferfish is the answer?
Justin from the enchanted forest. I don't think that'll make
it on the air, unfortunately. What else do we have?

(20:22):
The Sawman says they've been warned against eating tide pods.
Page down, A page down. Late night Steering wheel holder
says they've been asked not to eat any of Lizzo's leftovers.
Page down, page down. Nick in Wisconsin said some kind
of turkey dish I've not heard from. Robin Vegas says

(20:45):
the TikTokers have been told to stop eating oodles of noodles.
Who else you have? Malarprop Guy says Rocky Mountain oysters
is the answer. Ja Dot from Utah says TikTok users
were told not to eat the yellow snow. Well, that
is good advice for dog says Rocky Mountain Oysters. I

(21:05):
don't know how you kept them down. Ben, Well, it
was disgusting for dog. We didn't well. I did this
video on my Instagram you go back, and also on Facebook.
I did eat the Rocky Mountain oisters. When I say
I'm gonna do Eddie, when I say I'm gonna do something, Eddie,
don't do it. Now I did it. And to prove
I did it, I offered you and Roberto and Coop

(21:27):
I had some ex leftover. A bowl doesn't prove anything,
and you would not eat it because it's why would
I eat it? I didn't lose the bet exactly because
it's Rocky mount Oysters. No, you wouldn't need it because
I hate it, and you're saying you're knitting. I had
it right now, your honor, I rest my case. You
just admitted Eddie that you wouldn't eat it because I

(21:49):
ate it, and why would I it? Eddie? Answer the
question the listeners, no eat right now. Terry in England,
you listen. You didn't eat it because and you said
you wouldn't need it because I'm the one that ate it.
I ate it. I offered you to eat it and
you said you didn't want to eat. To prove that
you said it wasn't what it was jerky? Was it

(22:13):
beef jerky? It was Rocky Mountain Noise said on the package, Eddie,
Rocky It said Rocky Mountain Oise beef jerky as Rocky
Mountain Noise, Jack, my fat ass Rocky Mountain. I paid
the bet off and fur Dog knows it and the
real ones know it. Late Night druck Tish says the
TikTokers were warned not to eat the tofu. They were

(22:37):
warned not to eat the tofu. H. Robbie the Mariner
fan said, bat soup. I don't know what that is? Uh.
Nick Knack says, the answer is the caller of the
year on the show, Dick from Dayton Alf the alien
o piner who loves TikTok. He should get this right.
I don't see him with a correct answer. Eddie, do
you have an answer here? Yes, they were told not

(22:58):
to eat rudabaga rude a pig. That is incorrect. The
correct answer. TikTokers have been warned against eating the plastic
on fruit roll ups. You know that plastic sleeve on
the fruit roll up? No? Oh, you had fruit roll
ups when you were a kid, Eddie. You know, they
comebly have a little thin plastic lining that comes on

(23:21):
the fruit roll up and they wrap it. And so
some some very unattractive woman on ticktock. I saw the video, Eddie.
She's not easy on the eyes. I can say that
because I'm not easy on the eyes. But she was.
She's like calmly eating the fruit roll up. She just
took it out of the package. Then it was covered
in the plastic. And so now the people at Fruit

(23:42):
roll Up have said you probably shouldn't do that. I
say they should let people do that, because you know what,
this is Darwinism, right, And if you're dumb enough to
eat a fruit roll up with the plastic on it,
then whatever happens happens. I mean, what are you doing?
I mean that dumb Come on anyway, I believe in humanity.
And if you're not smart enough, if you're just that
desperate to get viral on TikTok or social media, first

(24:06):
of all, that's all fake. What are you doing? And secondly,
whatever happens, that's on your dumb ass. Be sure to
catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at
two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific Two NBA Insiders podcasting
twice a week to plug you right into the NBA
Grape five, all happening in only one place. This League Uncut,

(24:28):
the new NBA podcast with me Chris Haynes and me
Mark Stein. Join us as we team up to expound
on everything we're covering, hearing, and chasing. Listen to This
League Uncut with Chris Haynes and Mark Stein on the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast
ben multiple choice. Would you like a couple of NFL

(24:51):
notes or some Major League Baseball injury news? Oh, let's
go baseball? Eddie all right, I love baseball. Pladelphia first
baseman Reese Hoskins car it off the field today, suffered
a non contact left knee injury trying to fuel the
groundball and apparently he's gonna have a search. Here're going
for the season. NA Cardinals pitcher Adam Wainwright will start

(25:16):
the season on the isle because of a groin strain
he suffered in the World Baseball Classic. Is gonna be
several weeks. He is, he is, you know my baseball standards.
He has an old not by normal staards Hire like
yamat why he came back and braves closer? Is it
ricel Iglesias? Did I get that right? Yes, he's gonna
be in the season on the injured list. He has

(25:37):
a she has shoulder inflammation. Yeah, I saw Jorge Polacco
the Twins injured as well. They're dropping like flies in baseball.
Where are the people every time a player gets hurt
in football? Why do they even have the exhibition season?
Why don't hear that as much in baseball? Because it's
in baseball play a billion games? Or football every game's precious.
So you miss a game or two, that's a big
Saturday Opening Day next week. Not at all, not at all.

(26:01):
It's such a I'm such I'm such a pirate. Yeah
they're Yeah, They've ruined my love of baseball. The Pirates.
If they win Opening Day, that's the only time they'll
be above five Huntress only time they have a sell
out too whole season. Not that I not that they should.
People in Pittsburgh stay away and doesn't been like the
worst team in all but they haven't been the Pirates.
Come on, they've got a longer playoff drive. I would

(26:23):
rather be a angel. Yeah, you got any and at
least no, he does. He spends money. Our owner doesn't
spend a dime, not a dime, not a dime back.
The end results the same, though it's true, but I
would rather at least know that he tries. Yeah, well
we'll see, we'll see what the LARTI morando this office.

(26:43):
He's gonna have to pay hundred million dollars, right, I know.
I think how much fun it's gonna be. If you
travel to Pittsburgh this summer, you can go to a
Pirates game for like a dollar. They might even I would.
I would, They would know I would not go. I boycotted.
I lived in Pittsburgh. If they know they have those
day games during the week, like I would go and

(27:03):
just like have lunch there and maybe not even bad.
The skyline. It's a beautiful ball it's beautiful, awesome. It
is an amazing stadium. I had not been to a
game there, but I walked through when I was in Pittsburgh.
Walk through there. Yeah, it's awesome. It is like it
looks like it's out of like a and if they
just put a decent product, the people there would fill

(27:24):
that ballpark. But it's near the top of my list.
As far as ball parks, I want to visit. Yeah,
you gotta get there. It is that yellow Bridge Bridge. Yeah,
it's awesome. Man. They nailed it. They absolutely nailed it.
And the baseball team other than that one, I think
it was one year with Yeah, and he's back Eddie.
Your guys, the former Envy paid back of the Pirate

(27:48):
was also part of that team. Unfortunately, will he Stargo
not available, Eddie, He's not with us anymore. Pops, Yeah,
Pops moved on. All right. It is the Bannet Maller Show.
As we continue on the slicing and dicing up the
overnight hours here and glad you have chosen to spend
some time with us. Try the podcast at the fifth
hour podcast coming up, we'll have exclusive details on the

(28:11):
Mallard Meet and Greet, which you'll be coming up for
you in the month of May. This portion of the
show brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Progressive makes bundley
easy and affordable. Get a multi policy discount by combining
your motorcycle, RB, boat, ATV and more all your protection
one place, buddle and save at Progressive dot Com. Tammy
in Montana is up next. Hello, Tammy Apen, How how

(28:33):
dare you treat the color of the year? Dickon Dayton
so bad? Was not you know, getting his song on
the air. I'm ashamed of you. Well, Tammy, why don't
you check back once you hear the song and then
let me know if you feel that way? Okay, wow,
I know we all want to hear it. Oh I

(28:54):
heard the song and I really can't wait. I cannot
be there at least one. All right, I'll play it.
I'll send it over to Roberto, We'll put it on
the air. I will. He sent me a couple of songs.
Oh good, Okay. I wanted to say, um, of course,

(29:14):
you know, um good vibes and thoughts and love and uh,
maybe the wiccan can do a protection spell on Jay
Scoop as he goes to Ukraine. Uh, it makes his
heart happy. It's, you know, something he needs to do.
And um, I'm thinking. Okay, so we have transgender maybe

(29:36):
Justin on his tweet about Zimbabwe, maybe he's trans race
No white guy, Tammy, Justin. Justin's no longer in Cincinnati.
He moved to the Enchanted Force. So that's where he
lives now for the rest of the show. He will
be in the enchanted force because you, Tammy. So you're

(29:58):
a nuanced woman. You you are a smart lady. You
know when I say, when I say enchanted, you knew
right away Forrest. You knew that right away because you're cultured,
unlike justin ander Fall. I will admit that Forrest was
the first one that came to my brain. But but

(30:19):
it could have been enchanted Castle. No, it's bad job
for you. All right, Well, thanks Ben, I'm going to
do my best to get Holler and James to the
meet and great. All right, yeah, and meet him. He'll
be He'll be a bigger story. I think the people
of Minnesota. Minneapolis would rather meet Holler and James than me.

(30:41):
They would. He's a bigger deal. He's a legend. Yeah.
Maybe Eddio, Maybe Eddio show up, your show up, Eddie.
I don't know, Eddie says, I said, come on, Eddie, Tammy.
Thanks for your card. By the way, Oh what card
that was from the militia? Okay it was Eddy, just

(31:01):
addressed from Montana. I got this card in the mail.
Is Jami Hannah. Who the hell do I know? Isn't
any bad at keeping sea? All right? Thanks? Thank you.
All Right, there she goes Tammy in Montana. We thank
we thank her for that. It is the Ben Mallard Show.
As we continue on, and we're gonna have Big Ben's

(31:24):
Lame Jokes in the Week for the rest of the hour.
Big Ben's lame Jokes in the week. We'll get to
that and we will do it next Big Ben Mallard. Oh,
thank you, Tam. Fox Sports Radio has the best sports
talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our shows
at Fox Sports Radio dot com and within the iHeartRadio

(31:47):
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mysterious nocturnal blutwo known as The Ben Maller Show and

(32:08):
Ali from the Tirerack dot Com, Fox Sports Radio Studios.
It's Ben Maller. Knock Knock, Who's there? Blame Week Blame
Week two. It's Big Band's lame joke of the week.
The Comedy Club is open for business. These our actual
jokes sent in by actual listeners like yourself. These are

(32:29):
people that are very funny, that have normal lives and jobs,
and they just happened to moonlight as joke writers. You
can join the underappreciated, unpaid joke writing staff if you
want to send a joke in care of the Ben
Maller Show at gmail dot com. Ben Maller Show at
gmail dot com. Is Weedman there, our friend in Miami.

(32:50):
Hello weed Man, Old ban I love you shaying hello Lisa, Hi,
Lisa Hi dead? Oh all right, look at that? All right?
Here we go, very exciting, Here we go. What is
Lizzo's favorite party pastry? I don't know what is Lizzo's
favorite party pastry. She's a big fan of the cocaine

(33:11):
bear claw. She loves that in the cues. What did
a lot of people say about Lizzo when she first
showed up on the music scene. Oh, I don't know.
What did they say? They said? Isn't she precious? Suffer Todds,

(33:33):
the comedian, professional joke writer and Benny Award winner. What
is the difference between Tom Brady and Lizzo? Um? Well,
I would think there are a lot of differences, But
I don't know what are the difference now? Not. Actually,
when Lizzo gets roasted, nothing is left on the table, Eddie.
That's Gordon in calls big bands lame jokes. In the week,

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did you hear that the Panthers might draft Lizzo number
one overall as a running back. I did not hear that. Yeah,
they think she'll be able to crush the competition, Eddie.
So that's Alex the syndical. Why doesn't Lizzo wear a
red dress anymore? I don't know why. Well, she kept

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getting annoyed because the kids would expect her to run
through a wall and yell oh yeah, and she didn't
like that. That is Jeopardy outdating himself with that joke.
Have you heard why Lizzo fans in Florida are upset?
God know what's their problem? Yeah? When scientists said a
five thousand mile wide blob was headed towards them, they

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assumed it was Lizzo. You see that blob of seaweed
going towards Florida. That's a fur dog sent that one in.
What was Lizzo's favorite doll when she was a kid.
I don't know what was your favorite doll. Well it was.
It was not a Barbie Dolly, it was it was
strawberry shortcake. Brandon from Boston said that one did you

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hear that Lizzo got a new belt for her birthday?
I didn't hear that. No, Yeah, she was able to
use as a watch band. So it's a it's a
good story. The guy Bucket Boston said that one which
Benny Award did Lizzo get snubbed for? I don't know what?
What award did she get snubbed? The award for being
the biggest fan, Eddie? Yeah, the biggest She should have

(35:27):
I think she should have won that award. That's a
that's a bad job. That joke came from Steven sent
that joke in, I believe. All right, next up, what
do we have here? What is Lizzo's favorite scent? I
don't know what's her favorite scent? She loves Bartolo cologne,

(35:48):
Joe Daddy in a rowan Oake Virginia. You know that
Lizzo takes a lot of pictures with fans, Eddie, Oh yeah,
sure of course, for some reason though she's always the background.
You got any jokes over there? Coop negative, no coop,
But jokes. Let's get to the weed Man roast. How

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did we man? How did weed Man meet Bizzo? How
did he meet her? Yeah? I don't know. Well they
were both at KFC. Licking other people's fingers is what
is what is more effective than tear gas to disperse
an unruly crowd of young people on spring break in Miami?

(36:32):
A weed Man appearance? No, no, no. Having weed Man
as a greeter at the airport, That's that's what really does.
Now you go to Hawaii, you get that lay when
you go to Hawaii, when you meet weed Man, you're like,
all right, I'll get back, get out of here. If
you can't find weed Man, where's your look? I don't
know where under a crack rock, Eddie, you just look

(36:53):
over the Todd the comedian. Did you hear the weed
Man bought a sup suit? Yeah? I bought a suit,
big news. Congratulations weed Man. It's a black, heavy duty
trash bag with a red Sox staple to the top.
So congratulations. That's Alex. The synical is just mean. How

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does weed Man make smoked rats? I don't know how
to make that cook He cooks them unused ash trays?
Is that true? Weed been yes, ye, Alex, Alex and
the Synical. I feel like he's getting annoyed. Why did

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weed man cross the road? Why to relocate his house? Eddie?
He was moving. So what do weed man Hippie? That
was Alex and Cynical again. What do weed man, Hippie
Austin Ekeler have in common? Oh? I don't know where
they have in common? Well, they both have the same
chance of getting a big payday from the chargers. So

(37:58):
the Big Ben's jokes of the week. Why doesn't weed
man have to pay his mice? I don't know why.
Why doesn't they have to pay his after after they
stole his teeth? They are considered indentured servants. So Kipp

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in Maine people are vicious, Eddie, they're vicious. Did you
hear that? We'll move on from weed Man? Did you
hear the one one legged Bama man got a new job? No,
what's his job? He now works at eyehop. That's from
the al Uh. There you go. What do you call
the racist fish, Eddie? Racist fish? I don't know. Angry
gill is what you call it. That's Alex the Synegal.

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There's a new sleep clinic that's really helping people with insomnia.
Eddie might mind insomnia? Yeah right, yeah, it's It's called
Virgo and service is what it's. What's scary than Jet
who fled with chainsaws? Eddie? Oh but nothing, I would think. No,
Tony from the Bay, that's from Joe, Daddy and Roanoke.

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Thank you weed man. There he goes. Ben wrote that joke. Tony, No,
I didn't not know. That's Joe and Roanoke, Virginia. I
don't know who that is. I've never met him.