March 24, 2023 • 38 mins
Ben Maller & Danny G. have another fun bonus broadcast! They're talking: Twinkies, But You Can't Eat 'Em, Safari Kingdom, Pop Quiz & more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred
minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last
remnants of the Old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. The Clearinghouse
of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G. You
have stumbled on to the most amazing mind bending podcast
of all time. Oh my gosh, this will change the
(00:46):
podcast landscape unless it does not. Danny G Radio right
there in living color. Yeah, and Ben, I don't know
if you know this, but I am one of the
last American left on the planet with a bracket that
is not broken yet. Is that right? How did that happen? Anny?
What's your what's your secrets? Are you gonna win the
(01:08):
million dollars from Fox Sports Radio? Here's the secret? Yeah,
I didn't get it turned in on time to our
bosses last week. Oh there you go. See that's the
that's all. You just don't turn in on time. The
better just fill it out as you go. Just fill
it out as you go. That's the way to do it.
(01:28):
And I'm shocked that no one had a perfect bracket.
Didn't everyone see Farley Dickinson winning a couple of games
in the tournament and all the other weird things that
happened last weekend. Forget about this weekend even last weekend.
But it's the Friday Podcast. We're doing things a little
differently right now. And uh, you know, occasionally we'll have
people on and we'll hang out with them and all that.
(01:51):
But on the Friday Pod, on this podcast, we have twinkies,
but you can't eat them. Safari Kingdom was back, Danny.
People love Safari Kingdom. Nice. I don't know why that is.
I can't figure out what the love affair with Safari
Kingdom is. And we have pop Quiz as well whatever
(02:13):
else pops up on the show. So that's that's tendally
the rough outline of what we got. But we'll start
with this. So, as you know from listening to the
radio show and this show, for some time, yours truly
has been planning to get together and they land far
(02:35):
far away, well far far away from me. But I
was playing another meet and greet. I'd always big plans
Danny before COVID because we were in twenty nineteen. The
end of twenty nineteen, had gone to Seattle and had
a wonderful time. I had a bunch of great listeners
all over the Pacific Northwest that were there. There was
(02:56):
at least one guy that came down from Vancouver in
which is not that far away, and then where people
come from Oregon, and it was it was a lot
of fun people all over that region. It was great.
And so I had all these plans in twenty twenty
to go meet the people and all that, and then
I forget what happened. There was something that involved like
(03:17):
a facial covering and toilet paper try to block it out,
but that happened, and then that carried into twenty twenty one,
and then even where we live, it carried into like
twenty twenty two. It just kept going, wouldn't stop. So
but anyway, long story short, So now here we are
in twenty twenty three, and I'm like, it's time to
(03:40):
go out and shake hands and kiss babies. And was
originally going to do something in April, and then some
of my peeps said, hey, wait a minute. Some of
my boots on the ground said, this is not a
good idea. It's not a good and the weather is
still not great in April. You should probably come sometime
in May. And so that got delayed. And then I
(04:02):
to coordinate logistics with the schedule with the YFE and
so there's a lot of moving parts. She needed to
get some time off from work and all that. So
finally everything lined up and it is about on like
Donkey Kong, it's twinkies time coming up. I have all
the information. This is a podcast excluded nobody else, Danny,
(04:24):
not a single podcast, not Joe Rogan, not Corolla. They
don't have what we're about to give about the tom
Brady podcast, not even the Jim Gray tom Brady podcast.
They don't have it. Yeah, I'm telling you, Danny, nobody
has the information. This is the most valuable resource we
(04:46):
can possibly provide. And the people that listen to the
radio show, they don't have it. They don't know, they're
they're in the dark. It's only for those of you
that are part of the P one contingent, part of
the fifth hour, and here it is. Are you ready, Dan?
Would you like a two dollar drum roll, Yeah, I'm sure.
(05:07):
Why not? All right? So I mentioned it Twinkies time, Well,
not the Minnesota Twins. It's not those twinkies. It's not
the Saint Paul Saints because they're on the road. But
who cares. It is the main event. The main event
is about to happen. I am about to release the
five ws. You remember when you were a journalist for
(05:29):
the Associated Press, the five w's of every story. You've
got to get the who, what, where, when and why?
Very important. You can also get the how if you want,
But who, what, where, when and why are the most
important things. So who we'll start with that. The who
would be yours truly, that would be me awkwardly trying
(05:52):
not to talk in the third person. But it's about
the show. It's about the Overnight Show and all that.
I never heard of them. I know, it's a no,
it's a nobody what. That would be the first Mallard
meet and greet that we like official planned out Mallard
meet and greet that we've done outside of California since COVID,
(06:13):
because I did meet some listeners last minute in Appleton, Wisconsin,
but that was like a I threw that together at
the last minute. It wasn't planned out. This thing is
planned out. So it's a Mallard meet and greet. And
this is not sanctioned by Fox Sports Radio. My bosses
want nothing to do with me. They want to distance
(06:35):
themselves from me. So this is all on my own dime.
They're not paying for this. God knows the station in
Minnesota's not paying for it. This is out of my
own pocket. And I'm gonna fly into Minnesota for the
Mallard meet greet. And now where, Danny. That is the
next part of the five ws. The third W is
where And this is where things go a little sideways.
(07:01):
I let me explain, because the where is t b
D to be determined somewhere, don't don't be laughing. There
somewhere in the Greater Minnesota area, preferably a nice mom
and pop restaurant that I like to support the local establishment,
(07:23):
so it would be preferred, But I'm open to going
to a chain because chains, I've learned over the years,
are actually owned by mom and pops. So I'm fine
either way. So the where is up in the air now.
To be fair, I had our our listeners, spin Psycho Regina,
who had reached out to me, and she said she
(07:45):
had a couple of venues picked out. Oh boy, yeah, exactly.
I don't know if she's listening. So I've now sent
two separate email messages to spin cycle Regina because she
flew out to California and you met her and she's
very Oh yeah, she brought some Minnesota drugs with her.
(08:09):
She's a very lovely lady. In my apologies to her.
So we were like, yeah, okay, she's she's been emailing.
She said I want to do this. She picked some dates,
the dates didn't quite work out, so I emailed her side.
I booked the plane ticket, We're good to go. I've
got a place to stay in Minnesota. We're ready to go.
And so I email her and I don't hear anything back,
(08:30):
and then I go and let me, let me get
this up here. So I want to show you exactly
what I've been what I've been dealing with here. I
email it's been cycled Regina. I'm like, hey man, I'm here,
blah blah blah blah blah. And in response to those emails,
I get four messages back saying that your message could
(08:53):
not be delivered to and then it lists the email
address their inbox is full or is getting too much
mail right now? What? Yeah, this for her only fans account.
I don't know what she's got going up. So this
is actually a Gmail account that I have. So I
(09:14):
got this. The original message was it's a Gmail will
retry for forty six more hours. You'll be notified if
your delivery fails permanently. So then I get another email
saying Gmail will retry for twenty two more hours, You'll
be notified if the delivery fails permanently. And then the
final one was the inbox is full, You're screwed, basically.
(09:38):
So then I was like, well, this must have been
a mistake. And I was like, I double checked the email,
you know, I did that whole thing. I thought, well,
maybe I coocked the wrong button or it was a glitch.
So then I sent another email, and the emails like, hey,
exciting news, I've got the ticket booked, I got the date,
the whole thing, and then the same same deal, the
(10:01):
same deal happened. So this is what happens when you
try to email celebrities, I guess. So I had no
idea that Regina was that popular. I knew she was
popular in the show, so anyway, that is part of
the where we will determine. And if Regina is not available,
if she can't help us out, there are certainly other options.
In fact, if you happen to be someone listening to
(10:22):
this podcast who's a fan of the show and you
have a restaurant, or you have a relative that has
a restaurant and you're interested, I'm certainly taking suggestions because
I don't know that I'll hear from Regina anytime soon.
So if not, I got to have a backup plan,
which made Danny become the main event. Depending on how
this goes, this could become where we actually end up
(10:42):
holding the event. I don't know how many people are
going to be there. I have no idea. As I
always say, it might be nobody, might be one person,
two people, whatever, doesn't matter. Whoever shows up, I'll be
there whether it's a big turnout or no. And based
on the feedback I've gotten from people, I think it's
gonna be a pretty big thing. Yep. We gotta get
(11:03):
back to the five w So the who is me,
the what is the meet and greet? The war is
to be determined. The when here's the big thing. The
when is Saturday, May twentieth, So five twenty twenty twenty three,
May twentieth. We don't have a time on that. We
think it's going to be likely in the in the evening.
(11:26):
That's usually when these things are to be a couple
of hours, two or three hours. I'll set it for two,
but I'll be willing to stay much longer depending on
how it goes. But that'll be May twentieth, and that's
on a Saturday, so it's a little less than two
months away. And the why, the why is because I
just want to hang out, meet to meet people. And
(11:47):
I've not spent much time in Minnesota other than the airport,
in fact, no time other than the airport. And I
just want to see what makes people tick and all
that stuff. So that's writing down the info right now, matey.
If yeah, in a request to iHeart to pay for
my plane ticket right now. Yeah, I'm sure they'll take
care of that, no problem on that. And I have
(12:11):
a feeling once I asked the company for promotional items, Danny,
they'll give me a bunch of T shirts and write
all that stuff. I have some Coveno and Rich nerve
footballs I can give you. Oh, you're a made man
when it comes to the nerve footballs. That's good. I
might have to rip that off. But what item they do? Footballs?
What could I could do? Like a something that fits you? Like? Um,
(12:32):
let's see, oh dress balls, stress ball. Do have a
lot of anxiety when I listen to you ripping my
favorite teams, So dress ball it would be a good idea.
I had a good one this week. Oh man, I
absolutely pantst Cooper Loop metaphorically of course on the radio. Hey,
(12:53):
but the other night the Lakers were playing the Suns
on Wednesday night. Yeah, it was a nice victory. Well,
I was a great victory. And I think the game ball,
if I remember correctly, went to Scott Foster. Is that correct? Wrong?
The ultimate right? And now you sound like the Sun's
head coach. Listen, facts are facts. So this is hilarious.
(13:14):
So me and Coop get into it. The other night
on the Thursday show. We're going back and forth, right
and Coop, of course, much like yourself and Roberto giving
Laker propaganda. So we're going back and forth and I'm
pointing out facts about how ridiculous the NBA is, and
they don't even hide it. You know, forty six foul
shots to twenty. There should never be that big a disparity.
(13:37):
It's ridiculous, right, It's absolutely ridiculous. And so you know
Coop's bad defense by the Suns. No, it's it's called
it's called good officiating for the Lakers, is what it's called.
So anyway, Coop's like, there's nothing here, You're just being
a hater. So then I uncovered, through a minute's long investigation,
I uncovered a audio clip from the Lakers television broadcast
(14:04):
on sportsnet LA, the Lakers station, and on the whatever
it's called, is it time warners? What's it called? I
think Spectrum sports Net. I was close whatever I was
in the ballpark, I don't, I don't. It's not your
fabulous ballies. Well ballies is great. I love ballis. Can
see him anyway, So get to the point piece. So
(14:25):
I find this audio and in the audio, it's like
a like a ten twelve second clip from the Laker
television broadcast. And you hear Stu Lance They're going to commercial.
Now the camera if you missed it, the camera shot
shows Anthony Davis sitting on the bench, the Laker players
are coming over the bench. It's a TV timeout and
(14:45):
as the players are coming over, Anthony Davis is sitting down.
You see DeAngelo Russell and st. Stu Lance breaks. He says,
you know, Lakers whatever whatever to go to break. And
you hear DeAngelo Russell mentioned Scott Foster's name twice as
in homage to Scott Foster throwing the game for the Lakers,
(15:07):
who was clear and obvious, open and shut right there.
And are the NBA people gonna do anything? No, they'll
they'll say, oh, we're investigating. They're not gonna do anything.
They're not gonna do anything. Just like that story a
couple of weeks ago about Lebron James, the guy that
outed Lebron doing performance annancing drugs. That story nobody touched
(15:28):
it because the NBA's in bed with all these media companies.
Bad job by them. Yeah, like I said, some balls
would be good for you, some stress balls, And they
should have the Ben Mallers show logo on one side
and the Lakers logo on the other side, because you
love playing with the Lakers balls all the time. I
(15:51):
don't squeeze their balls. I don't. I certainly don't lick
them like something anyway. All right, basketball, bondle them basketball.
This is what I meant, Safari Kingdom, and I think
we got to deputize Ohio Ow to come up with
a little ditty for this. My guy Ohio out We
might have to get him music for this or somebody
(16:12):
else if they want to, but Ohio has become like
the default musician of this podcast. So Safari king these
are actual stories about animals and critters and things like that,
and I just want the record to show. People have
accused me of stealing this bit from someone I forget who,
But this is nothing like animal Thunderdome. It's not a
(16:33):
feature that I came up with on OutKick the coverage
years ago. It's not even close. It's not similar at all.
Because I would not I would be wrong to do that,
and I would never take part in something like that, Danny,
because as you know, oh I've known you for a
long time, and yeah, everything on your show is purely original, exactly.
(16:55):
There has never been anything that's not original. It's the
original recipe eleven or herbs and spices. I've got that.
I even stole that from some all right, So this
first one. There's a lot of crocodile stories today, and
I've determined the reason there's a lot of crocodile stories.
(17:16):
I was reading a story that said that crocodiles act
weird weirder in two times a year, the spring in
the fall, and so we're in the spring. This first
one is from the state of Florida, Daytona Beach. A
nine foot long alligator approaches a guy's house in Daytona Beach,
(17:38):
this guy named Scott. So the guy's watching TV with
his wife. The animal made a noise at the door,
like it was knocking at the door because can't knock
it's got those little little alligator arms. So the alligator's
like makes a noise like it wants to get in.
So the guy heard the noise, he thought it was
(17:59):
one of his kids. His He had a teenage son,
so he thought it was one of his kids friends, right,
So he like Kyler Murray was at the door exactly.
And so this guy goes to the door and just assuming,
you know, what the hell, it's probably one of my
buddies or one of my kids buddies. So, according to
the report out of Florida, this guy's Scott. So he
(18:22):
hears a bump to the door. He jumps up. He
heads over to open the door without looking. The lights
are off. He steps outside and trying he was trying
to reach the light. I guess there's a light right
outside the door, but you gotta reach to it. So
he barely gets out the door and his leg he
gets beaten by the alligator, and the alligator bites into
(18:43):
his thigh and starts shaking. This is a nine foot
long alligator like knocks on the guy's door. So then,
for some reason, the alligator, I guess, didn't like the
taste of the guy. He is flesh for some reason,
and the alligator let go. So the guy he turns
the light on. He sees it's like he thought it
was a dog. He turns, he turns the light on,
(19:05):
sees it the gators covered in blood, and so he
goes on. I closed the door. The gators stays on
his front porch, doesn't leave. So the guy calls the
animal control. They come out, and of course they alligator
sandwiches for everybody. Kill the thing. But how crazy is that?
I'm sorry, but if a gator bites me and draws blood,
(19:29):
I'm not waiting for animal control. I'm going into my
kitchen and getting the biggest butcher knife I can find,
and I'm slicing up some nice boots for myself. Do
you think that would work, though, Like if you just
took a domestic kitchen knife, your standard kitchen knife, do
you think that would cut into the flesh of a gator? Okay,
(19:49):
let me rephrase that. I'm gonna run into my garage
and get the biggest aluminum baseball bat, okay, and go
back to the front porch and start swinging a way
like Mickey Mantle. Yeah. No, you gotta swing like Mark
McGuire or Barry Bonds in nineteen ninety eight nine or
two thousand, one of those guys. I am swinging like
(20:13):
Mike Trout going after an otami pitch. Well, that was it.
That was an alligator story. This next one on the
Safari Kingdom is a crocodile story, and this comes to
us from South Africa where a safari guide had quite
the story. This sounds like a fish story, but it
appears to be true. It's well, it's the Internet, so
(20:34):
who knows. This comes from a game reserve in South
Africa where a Safari Guide had a very close encounter
with a with a crocodile and what happened. So there
is video to prove this actually took place. So this
crocodile goes over and starts messing around with the cooler.
(20:58):
There was like a bunch of food and whatnot. So
the alligator goes or the crocodile, right, those are two
separate things. So the crocodile goes over and steals the
cooler full of beer, and and so this got posted
on Facebook. It was there was some like play by
play on it, but that's not where the story is, right.
(21:18):
The story is the croc goes over, crashes this picnic,
steals the cooler full of beer, and then ends up
fighting with another croc who tried to take the beer.
So they've done this before. The other one has a
taste for beer. It sounds like, I guess, or maybe
(21:40):
they thought there was something else in there. Pretty crazy,
pretty pretty wild and crazy. These things are doing their thing.
But anyway, so there you go. Yeah, you're having a
nice picnic piccotic basket. Right. Some other looks like some
fruit there some veggies. Can't really tell what else is
(22:02):
in the Picnic Next up on the Safari Kingdom. Dogs,
it turns out, increase your risk of a sleep DISORDERFF
and cats boost the chance of legtrics. Just according to
a recent study that said pets can provide a sense
(22:28):
of security, they do negatively affect sleep. The largest sleep
differences we're seen between dog and non dog owners. Snoring,
abruptly waking up, and a need for sleeping pills were
factored in. This is a study from Lincoln Memorial University.
(22:51):
I assume that's in. I don't know. There's a lot
of places named Lincoln, so I don't know where that
which Lincoln that is. But they said dogs are more
trouble with sleeping, sleeping disorder, sleep apnea, feeling unrested, feeling sleepy,
not getting enough sleep, needing pills to sleep, having leg jerks,
while cats cats disrupt your sleep, was snoring, trouble with
(23:13):
falling asleep, sleeping in leg jerks. So there you go. Yeah,
and I buy this because just a few nights ago,
our little dog was snapping at our cat throughout the night.
The two of them just could not get comfortable. The
cat would go to sleep for like five minutes, wake up,
(23:33):
go play, in the blinds. This cat zooming around making noise.
The dog is pissed off, trying to snap at the cat.
My wife just grabs her pregnant pillows and says, I
can't even sleep, I'm going downstairs, and stomped downstairs, pissed
off at both pits. That is unfortunate. Yeah, No, I
(23:56):
do not have a cat. I have Bella. Bella's in
the nursing home. She's still at the house, but she's
been quarantined because Bella has lost the ability to control
her bodily functions anyway, So, but she slept in like
on the edge of the bed for many many years,
and but she would like when she was potty trained,
(24:19):
she would wake up. She would wake me up by
standing on my head and pawing at my forehead, wake
me up. Whether I was ready to get up or not.
She was like, I need to go to the bathroom,
so I'll just wake your fat ass up. And she
didn't bother my wife very much. It was always me.
She liked to harass me. So I think they go
(24:41):
to the man first because they are scared of the women,
same way we are sexist. Because my cat as cool
as a panther as he is. If he wants to
eat in the middle of the night, his go to
move is to go knock the blinds around because he
knows that noise pisses us off. So he's like, yeah,
(25:04):
he's sleeping, motherfucker. So he goes to my side of
the bed where the blinds are, and he just starts
whacking away with his paws. They're not that dumb. I mean,
they're not the smartest, but they're not that them. All right,
don't do a lost cap magnet pencil next. So next up,
here's one Beatles. We got some story about vermin and
(25:27):
oh I love Paul McCartney. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So the
well known beetle which sucks water into their butts to
stay hydrated. Did you know that about the beetle? No? Yeah,
scientists say they now know how instead of drinking water
through their mouths, beatles op for a slightly different approach
(25:52):
and they use their buttocks. Can you first of all,
can you imagine being the scientist as signed to figure
out how they drink water out of their ass? Yeah?
That's your gig. Unbelievable study published just this week a
couple days ago in the Journal Proceedings of the National
(26:14):
Academy of Sciences. It says while the dairy air drinking
behavior was known to scientists, the mechanisms behind it were
unknown until now. A new investigation by researchers from Denmark
and Scotland. That's what they're doing in Denmark and Scotland,
they're going for it reveals that the insects can pull
(26:34):
a moisture from the air through their rectums and convert
it into fluids like that's like magic, and it then
gets absorbed into their bodies. This is like but dunka
dunk to infinity and beyond. And it says the weird
trick is essentially beneficial when living in an extremely dry environment,
(26:59):
so they can just get water out of the air. Yeah.
I was gonna say, if they were chilling in southern
California the past month, they'd be waterboarded. Yeah, they would.
They would have drowned by now is what they would
have done. Here's a story to scary about mosquitos. A
new invasive mosquito has descended on Florida. And of course
(27:23):
you know what that means, Danny, the media is scaring everybody. Disease, disease, disease, disease,
you're all going to die. The mosquito is originally from
Central and South America, but it has spread to South
Florida and they're concerned about the West Nile virus. All right,
(27:45):
so remind me not to go where gagon is there
in Florida. I'll try to avoid that. Well, this is
a fake animal. So you know that that cat scratch
fever thing, that fake snake cat. Did you see that?
I did? Yeah, yeah, everyone got fooled by it. People
were like, I can't believe that. That's unbelievable. I don't understand.
(28:09):
So if he didn't see it. A photo of this
black and yellow cat went viral on every social media
platform and there was a text that claimed it was
a snake cat from the Amazon Rainforest. It turns out
it was. It was not legit, and now the Daily
Mail this Week investigated. They talked to the guy behind
(28:30):
it and says that he cooked it up using it
was AI generated. I knew it was a fake. It
was artificial intelligence generated. But he got post to Facebook, Twitter, TikTok,
thousands of people shared it. Millions of people saw it
and they were like, was it real? Is it a hoax.
But you knew right away, Danny, you knew that it
(28:51):
was not. I had to look at it for a
little bit, but it looked too cool to be true. Yeah,
it was pretty good looking, and it was like as
scary as I gotta. It's like whoa like? But then
you thought, in the whole wide world, there's a bunch
of stuff we don't know about. But he looked like
it's just like a regular housecap. But it was. It's
like as obviously like a snake, black and white reptilian,
(29:14):
and it's pretty good anyway. The guy is a Russian.
Russian Facebook user came up with that he's the guy
behind it, a comrade, it's ai art. Do you think
that'll be the first and only fake animal this guy creates?
Oh god, no, I don't even half the stuff I
(29:34):
want I see on the internet. I think it's total bullshit. Well,
here's the story out of Tanzania that will warm your heart.
In these in the very popular Safari Kingdom, And how
about this? They say there is a lake in Tanzania
that instantly turns animals that touch it to stone. Doesn't
(29:57):
that sound something out like out of the Bible or
some kind of like story, yeah, very much. So, Yeah,
it doesn't sound legit at all, but there is a
story making the rounds to say that it is absolutely true.
Lake Natron it's a blood red lake in Tanzania that's
one of the world's deadliest, and it says that it's
(30:21):
it's typically fatal for most animals that will be encrusted
in salt. It's it's only bacteria. Oh that makes the
water red. Very sodom and gomorrah. Yeah, so this is
just a lake. It's like, it looks crazy because it's
all red, but it's it's all freaking bacteria. How wild
(30:44):
is that. It's right out of Greek mythology. It would
be like drinking out of that big body of water
near Palm Springs, the Salt and Sea. Yea, the Salt
and Sea, which is a great resort town until it
wasn't a great resort town. Yea, until all the dead
species we're washing up on the shore. Yeah. Now, the
only thing it's good for is people on YouTube that
(31:06):
go out there and make videos or album cover shoots
like Lincoln Park did back in the day. There you go,
so remind me not to go to South Florida. Or Tanzania.
I'll try not to go to those two places, and
we'll do a little I got a couple, I got
a few minutes here, so we'll do a quick, a quick,
(31:26):
a couple of questions on pop Quiz, and so let's
get the party started here on pop Quiz, Danny, I'm
gonna ask you these questions. You listening can play along
and let's see how you do. So the first one,
about forty percent of drivers have admitted that they have
a bad habit of doing this while driving. Masturbating. Well,
(31:52):
it's actually higher than that, No, it is rubber necking. Okay,
I think it's higher, and that anytime there's an an accident,
it's a bumper, A bumper, a bumper. We all, Yeah,
it's at least half of the people on the road
that are nosy checking out what's going on, even on
(32:13):
the other side of the freeway. Oh, totally, totally, totally.
And if there's a firetruck, police lights, it's it's a
show without the popcorn and the snacks. Next up on
pop because two thirds of drivers say it can take
over a week before they do something about this when
(32:34):
it happens to their vehicle. What is it when it
happens to their vehicle low fuel light comes on. Low
fuel light, Well, that would be something if he took
him over in a week, they'd be run out of again. No,
the correct answer women wait that long. Yeah. Yeah, my
wife is like I hate getting gased. She will wait
(32:57):
till the very last second. Bend that. That's how much
she hates the gas station. Yeah, my wife's the same way.
She knows I'll get gas like ninety five percent of
the time because I don't really mind getting gas. I
kind of like the smell of gas and all that.
But she sometimes you'll have to get gas, and I
always hear it, just like your wife, my eye, how
to get gas, you know, how to get out of
(33:17):
the car, the whole, the whole. You're purposely getting gas
on your fingers so you can smell it later. Oh
it's great. Yeah, it's a good smell. But the answer
is to clean. Bird is the word bird droppings, to clean.
Oh that's nasty. Get that shit off your paint immediately. Yeah,
that's not good for the paint. Man. You gotta just
hose that off. If you don't do something, get a tissue,
(33:40):
do something, because that's not good for the car. And
when I see people driving around with lots of bird
shit on their vehicle, that tells me something about them.
What does that tell you, Danny, that there's some dirty
m efforts. Yeah, that tells you their house is probably
covered in all kinds of shit too, right, weed man
hippie's house. So yeah, let's that's some fresh bird dudu
(34:03):
and it just happened. You do not roll around in
a car with tons of bird crap on it. It's
a bad look, you know what. I also don't like
that annoys me. The window tint that's been on for
too long and starts bubbling up. Yeah, that's a bad
that annoys me. That's a horrible look. Yeah, just tear
it off or get a new window tint or do something.
(34:25):
But that's just bad. Car is an extension of you,
and if it looks like that, then it's telling us
something about you. We got time for two more, two
more of these on pop quiz. So if if you
are average, you're certainly not average, Danding. But if you're average,
you have six of these right now. You have six
(34:47):
of these right now? What do you think of it?
You're average? You have six of these that would be
your sperm count. I hope it's higher than that. But
the answer is unread emails in your inbox. Oh, come on,
I mean we have hundreds. Who has six? I'm looking
(35:10):
right now at my inbox. You want to take a
guess how many unread emails I have in my in
Oh it's in the thousands, I'm sure, on top of
just all the regular life crap you would get no
matter what your profession is, we get lots of broadcasting crap. Yeah,
and I the email I use. I had a website
(35:31):
where a bunch of pr people would pitch me on
stories to put on the website. As you know, Danny,
once you end up on those email lists, you never
leave those email lists the rest of time. So right
now in my inbox, I have unread emails. I have
seventy thousand, seven hundred and eight unread emails in my inbox.
(35:54):
Hell now, yeah, it doesn't surprise me. Seventy thousand, and
that is down because at one point it was over
one hundred thousand. I deleted a bunch because I ran
out of space, So I delete a bunch, all right.
Last one ninety six percent of people say they have
no patience for this? What is it? No patience for this?
(36:17):
Ye Kanye West, Kanye West. That is well, actually it's
higher than that. At this point, I know the answer
is listening to voicemail messages. D That's number one. That
should be number one on the board. Who the hell
(36:38):
leaves voice messages in the year twenty twenty three. It's
not nineteen ninety three, it's twenty twenty three. Get with
the times. I'm the guy, Danny when when text messaging started,
I was going to send a text message, and now
I'm the guy that only wants to send text messages
and would like to not talk to anyone. That's me anyway,
(36:59):
it is. It is Friday, Danny. You want to promote anything?
You got any to promote here? Anything you want to
sell you? Last, lastly, on that last point, Ben, my
mom left a voice message and I deleted it without
listening to it. Oh your mom, your MAMU. Come on,
that's well, I mean I just called her instead. But
(37:19):
I'm just saying that's how much we do not listen
to voicemails. There's no question. It is a Friday. You're
done with your radio shift. I still have Covino and
rich with all their shenanigans going on Friday afternoon from
two to four pm West Coast time. All right, and
I will be hanging out. I am going to an
(37:41):
Italian restaurant today with my wife's friends, and then we
have some kind of big plan after them, Giggy, I'm
not exactly I'm just being dragged along Danny, so I'm
their boy toy. He there you go. Of course, the
ie candy blind on the eye candy. Anyway, have a
(38:04):
great rest your day. We got big podcast all weekend long.
Don't forget Saturday Saturday Saturday Life of Mallard, Life of
Danny ge podcast, and we'll have all kinds of wild
and crazy tales in that. And then on Sunday, got
the mailbag as well. Then right back on the radio
on a Sunday night in the Monday. Enjoy the college
(38:26):
basketball and we will catch you next time later. Skater
gott a murder, Gotta go.
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred
minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last
remnants of the Old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. The Clearinghouse
of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G. You
have stumbled on to the most amazing mind bending podcast
of all time. Oh my gosh, this will change the
(00:46):
podcast landscape unless it does not. Danny G Radio right
there in living color. Yeah, and Ben, I don't know
if you know this, but I am one of the
last American left on the planet with a bracket that
is not broken yet. Is that right? How did that happen? Anny?
What's your what's your secrets? Are you gonna win the
(01:08):
million dollars from Fox Sports Radio? Here's the secret? Yeah,
I didn't get it turned in on time to our
bosses last week. Oh there you go. See that's the
that's all. You just don't turn in on time. The
better just fill it out as you go. Just fill
it out as you go. That's the way to do it.
(01:28):
And I'm shocked that no one had a perfect bracket.
Didn't everyone see Farley Dickinson winning a couple of games
in the tournament and all the other weird things that
happened last weekend. Forget about this weekend even last weekend.
But it's the Friday Podcast. We're doing things a little
differently right now. And uh, you know, occasionally we'll have
people on and we'll hang out with them and all that.
(01:51):
But on the Friday Pod, on this podcast, we have twinkies,
but you can't eat them. Safari Kingdom was back, Danny.
People love Safari Kingdom. Nice. I don't know why that is.
I can't figure out what the love affair with Safari
Kingdom is. And we have pop Quiz as well whatever
(02:13):
else pops up on the show. So that's that's tendally
the rough outline of what we got. But we'll start
with this. So, as you know from listening to the
radio show and this show, for some time, yours truly
has been planning to get together and they land far
(02:35):
far away, well far far away from me. But I
was playing another meet and greet. I'd always big plans
Danny before COVID because we were in twenty nineteen. The
end of twenty nineteen, had gone to Seattle and had
a wonderful time. I had a bunch of great listeners
all over the Pacific Northwest that were there. There was
(02:56):
at least one guy that came down from Vancouver in
which is not that far away, and then where people
come from Oregon, and it was it was a lot
of fun people all over that region. It was great.
And so I had all these plans in twenty twenty
to go meet the people and all that, and then
I forget what happened. There was something that involved like
(03:17):
a facial covering and toilet paper try to block it out,
but that happened, and then that carried into twenty twenty one,
and then even where we live, it carried into like
twenty twenty two. It just kept going, wouldn't stop. So
but anyway, long story short, So now here we are
in twenty twenty three, and I'm like, it's time to
(03:40):
go out and shake hands and kiss babies. And was
originally going to do something in April, and then some
of my peeps said, hey, wait a minute. Some of
my boots on the ground said, this is not a
good idea. It's not a good and the weather is
still not great in April. You should probably come sometime
in May. And so that got delayed. And then I
(04:02):
to coordinate logistics with the schedule with the YFE and
so there's a lot of moving parts. She needed to
get some time off from work and all that. So
finally everything lined up and it is about on like
Donkey Kong, it's twinkies time coming up. I have all
the information. This is a podcast excluded nobody else, Danny,
(04:24):
not a single podcast, not Joe Rogan, not Corolla. They
don't have what we're about to give about the tom
Brady podcast, not even the Jim Gray tom Brady podcast.
They don't have it. Yeah, I'm telling you, Danny, nobody
has the information. This is the most valuable resource we
(04:46):
can possibly provide. And the people that listen to the
radio show, they don't have it. They don't know, they're
they're in the dark. It's only for those of you
that are part of the P one contingent, part of
the fifth hour, and here it is. Are you ready, Dan?
Would you like a two dollar drum roll, Yeah, I'm sure.
(05:07):
Why not? All right? So I mentioned it Twinkies time, Well,
not the Minnesota Twins. It's not those twinkies. It's not
the Saint Paul Saints because they're on the road. But
who cares. It is the main event. The main event
is about to happen. I am about to release the
five ws. You remember when you were a journalist for
(05:29):
the Associated Press, the five w's of every story. You've
got to get the who, what, where, when and why?
Very important. You can also get the how if you want,
But who, what, where, when and why are the most
important things. So who we'll start with that. The who
would be yours truly, that would be me awkwardly trying
(05:52):
not to talk in the third person. But it's about
the show. It's about the Overnight Show and all that.
I never heard of them. I know, it's a no,
it's a nobody what. That would be the first Mallard
meet and greet that we like official planned out Mallard
meet and greet that we've done outside of California since COVID,
(06:13):
because I did meet some listeners last minute in Appleton, Wisconsin,
but that was like a I threw that together at
the last minute. It wasn't planned out. This thing is
planned out. So it's a Mallard meet and greet. And
this is not sanctioned by Fox Sports Radio. My bosses
want nothing to do with me. They want to distance
(06:35):
themselves from me. So this is all on my own dime.
They're not paying for this. God knows the station in
Minnesota's not paying for it. This is out of my
own pocket. And I'm gonna fly into Minnesota for the
Mallard meet greet. And now where, Danny. That is the
next part of the five ws. The third W is
where And this is where things go a little sideways.
(07:01):
I let me explain, because the where is t b
D to be determined somewhere, don't don't be laughing. There
somewhere in the Greater Minnesota area, preferably a nice mom
and pop restaurant that I like to support the local establishment,
(07:23):
so it would be preferred, But I'm open to going
to a chain because chains, I've learned over the years,
are actually owned by mom and pops. So I'm fine
either way. So the where is up in the air now.
To be fair, I had our our listeners, spin Psycho Regina,
who had reached out to me, and she said she
(07:45):
had a couple of venues picked out. Oh boy, yeah, exactly.
I don't know if she's listening. So I've now sent
two separate email messages to spin cycle Regina because she
flew out to California and you met her and she's
very Oh yeah, she brought some Minnesota drugs with her.
(08:09):
She's a very lovely lady. In my apologies to her.
So we were like, yeah, okay, she's she's been emailing.
She said I want to do this. She picked some dates,
the dates didn't quite work out, so I emailed her side.
I booked the plane ticket, We're good to go. I've
got a place to stay in Minnesota. We're ready to go.
And so I email her and I don't hear anything back,
(08:30):
and then I go and let me, let me get
this up here. So I want to show you exactly
what I've been what I've been dealing with here. I
email it's been cycled Regina. I'm like, hey man, I'm here,
blah blah blah blah blah. And in response to those emails,
I get four messages back saying that your message could
(08:53):
not be delivered to and then it lists the email
address their inbox is full or is getting too much
mail right now? What? Yeah, this for her only fans account.
I don't know what she's got going up. So this
is actually a Gmail account that I have. So I
(09:14):
got this. The original message was it's a Gmail will
retry for forty six more hours. You'll be notified if
your delivery fails permanently. So then I get another email
saying Gmail will retry for twenty two more hours, You'll
be notified if the delivery fails permanently. And then the
final one was the inbox is full, You're screwed, basically.
(09:38):
So then I was like, well, this must have been
a mistake. And I was like, I double checked the email,
you know, I did that whole thing. I thought, well,
maybe I coocked the wrong button or it was a glitch.
So then I sent another email, and the emails like, hey,
exciting news, I've got the ticket booked, I got the date,
the whole thing, and then the same same deal, the
(10:01):
same deal happened. So this is what happens when you
try to email celebrities, I guess. So I had no
idea that Regina was that popular. I knew she was
popular in the show, so anyway, that is part of
the where we will determine. And if Regina is not available,
if she can't help us out, there are certainly other options.
In fact, if you happen to be someone listening to
(10:22):
this podcast who's a fan of the show and you
have a restaurant, or you have a relative that has
a restaurant and you're interested, I'm certainly taking suggestions because
I don't know that I'll hear from Regina anytime soon.
So if not, I got to have a backup plan,
which made Danny become the main event. Depending on how
this goes, this could become where we actually end up
(10:42):
holding the event. I don't know how many people are
going to be there. I have no idea. As I
always say, it might be nobody, might be one person,
two people, whatever, doesn't matter. Whoever shows up, I'll be
there whether it's a big turnout or no. And based
on the feedback I've gotten from people, I think it's
gonna be a pretty big thing. Yep. We gotta get
(11:03):
back to the five w So the who is me,
the what is the meet and greet? The war is
to be determined. The when here's the big thing. The
when is Saturday, May twentieth, So five twenty twenty twenty three,
May twentieth. We don't have a time on that. We
think it's going to be likely in the in the evening.
(11:26):
That's usually when these things are to be a couple
of hours, two or three hours. I'll set it for two,
but I'll be willing to stay much longer depending on
how it goes. But that'll be May twentieth, and that's
on a Saturday, so it's a little less than two
months away. And the why, the why is because I
just want to hang out, meet to meet people. And
(11:47):
I've not spent much time in Minnesota other than the airport,
in fact, no time other than the airport. And I
just want to see what makes people tick and all
that stuff. So that's writing down the info right now, matey.
If yeah, in a request to iHeart to pay for
my plane ticket right now. Yeah, I'm sure they'll take
care of that, no problem on that. And I have
(12:11):
a feeling once I asked the company for promotional items, Danny,
they'll give me a bunch of T shirts and write
all that stuff. I have some Coveno and Rich nerve
footballs I can give you. Oh, you're a made man
when it comes to the nerve footballs. That's good. I
might have to rip that off. But what item they do? Footballs?
What could I could do? Like a something that fits you? Like? Um,
(12:32):
let's see, oh dress balls, stress ball. Do have a
lot of anxiety when I listen to you ripping my
favorite teams, So dress ball it would be a good idea.
I had a good one this week. Oh man, I
absolutely pantst Cooper Loop metaphorically of course on the radio. Hey,
(12:53):
but the other night the Lakers were playing the Suns
on Wednesday night. Yeah, it was a nice victory. Well,
I was a great victory. And I think the game ball,
if I remember correctly, went to Scott Foster. Is that correct? Wrong?
The ultimate right? And now you sound like the Sun's
head coach. Listen, facts are facts. So this is hilarious.
(13:14):
So me and Coop get into it. The other night
on the Thursday show. We're going back and forth, right
and Coop, of course, much like yourself and Roberto giving
Laker propaganda. So we're going back and forth and I'm
pointing out facts about how ridiculous the NBA is, and
they don't even hide it. You know, forty six foul
shots to twenty. There should never be that big a disparity.
(13:37):
It's ridiculous, right, It's absolutely ridiculous. And so you know
Coop's bad defense by the Suns. No, it's it's called
it's called good officiating for the Lakers, is what it's called.
So anyway, Coop's like, there's nothing here, You're just being
a hater. So then I uncovered, through a minute's long investigation,
I uncovered a audio clip from the Lakers television broadcast
(14:04):
on sportsnet LA, the Lakers station, and on the whatever
it's called, is it time warners? What's it called? I
think Spectrum sports Net. I was close whatever I was
in the ballpark, I don't, I don't. It's not your
fabulous ballies. Well ballies is great. I love ballis. Can
see him anyway, So get to the point piece. So
(14:25):
I find this audio and in the audio, it's like
a like a ten twelve second clip from the Laker
television broadcast. And you hear Stu Lance They're going to commercial.
Now the camera if you missed it, the camera shot
shows Anthony Davis sitting on the bench, the Laker players
are coming over the bench. It's a TV timeout and
(14:45):
as the players are coming over, Anthony Davis is sitting down.
You see DeAngelo Russell and st. Stu Lance breaks. He says,
you know, Lakers whatever whatever to go to break. And
you hear DeAngelo Russell mentioned Scott Foster's name twice as
in homage to Scott Foster throwing the game for the Lakers,
(15:07):
who was clear and obvious, open and shut right there.
And are the NBA people gonna do anything? No, they'll
they'll say, oh, we're investigating. They're not gonna do anything.
They're not gonna do anything. Just like that story a
couple of weeks ago about Lebron James, the guy that
outed Lebron doing performance annancing drugs. That story nobody touched
(15:28):
it because the NBA's in bed with all these media companies.
Bad job by them. Yeah, like I said, some balls
would be good for you, some stress balls, And they
should have the Ben Mallers show logo on one side
and the Lakers logo on the other side, because you
love playing with the Lakers balls all the time. I
(15:51):
don't squeeze their balls. I don't. I certainly don't lick
them like something anyway. All right, basketball, bondle them basketball.
This is what I meant, Safari Kingdom, and I think
we got to deputize Ohio Ow to come up with
a little ditty for this. My guy Ohio out We
might have to get him music for this or somebody
(16:12):
else if they want to, but Ohio has become like
the default musician of this podcast. So Safari king these
are actual stories about animals and critters and things like that,
and I just want the record to show. People have
accused me of stealing this bit from someone I forget who,
But this is nothing like animal Thunderdome. It's not a
(16:33):
feature that I came up with on OutKick the coverage
years ago. It's not even close. It's not similar at all.
Because I would not I would be wrong to do that,
and I would never take part in something like that, Danny,
because as you know, oh I've known you for a
long time, and yeah, everything on your show is purely original, exactly.
(16:55):
There has never been anything that's not original. It's the
original recipe eleven or herbs and spices. I've got that.
I even stole that from some all right, So this
first one. There's a lot of crocodile stories today, and
I've determined the reason there's a lot of crocodile stories.
(17:16):
I was reading a story that said that crocodiles act
weird weirder in two times a year, the spring in
the fall, and so we're in the spring. This first
one is from the state of Florida, Daytona Beach. A
nine foot long alligator approaches a guy's house in Daytona Beach,
(17:38):
this guy named Scott. So the guy's watching TV with
his wife. The animal made a noise at the door,
like it was knocking at the door because can't knock
it's got those little little alligator arms. So the alligator's
like makes a noise like it wants to get in.
So the guy heard the noise, he thought it was
(17:59):
one of his kids. His He had a teenage son,
so he thought it was one of his kids friends, right,
So he like Kyler Murray was at the door exactly.
And so this guy goes to the door and just assuming,
you know, what the hell, it's probably one of my
buddies or one of my kids buddies. So, according to
the report out of Florida, this guy's Scott. So he
(18:22):
hears a bump to the door. He jumps up. He
heads over to open the door without looking. The lights
are off. He steps outside and trying he was trying
to reach the light. I guess there's a light right
outside the door, but you gotta reach to it. So
he barely gets out the door and his leg he
gets beaten by the alligator, and the alligator bites into
(18:43):
his thigh and starts shaking. This is a nine foot
long alligator like knocks on the guy's door. So then,
for some reason, the alligator, I guess, didn't like the
taste of the guy. He is flesh for some reason,
and the alligator let go. So the guy he turns
the light on. He sees it's like he thought it
was a dog. He turns, he turns the light on,
(19:05):
sees it the gators covered in blood, and so he
goes on. I closed the door. The gators stays on
his front porch, doesn't leave. So the guy calls the
animal control. They come out, and of course they alligator
sandwiches for everybody. Kill the thing. But how crazy is that?
I'm sorry, but if a gator bites me and draws blood,
(19:29):
I'm not waiting for animal control. I'm going into my
kitchen and getting the biggest butcher knife I can find,
and I'm slicing up some nice boots for myself. Do
you think that would work, though, Like if you just
took a domestic kitchen knife, your standard kitchen knife, do
you think that would cut into the flesh of a gator? Okay,
(19:49):
let me rephrase that. I'm gonna run into my garage
and get the biggest aluminum baseball bat, okay, and go
back to the front porch and start swinging a way
like Mickey Mantle. Yeah. No, you gotta swing like Mark
McGuire or Barry Bonds in nineteen ninety eight nine or
two thousand, one of those guys. I am swinging like
(20:13):
Mike Trout going after an otami pitch. Well, that was it.
That was an alligator story. This next one on the
Safari Kingdom is a crocodile story, and this comes to
us from South Africa where a safari guide had quite
the story. This sounds like a fish story, but it
appears to be true. It's well, it's the Internet, so
(20:34):
who knows. This comes from a game reserve in South
Africa where a Safari Guide had a very close encounter
with a with a crocodile and what happened. So there
is video to prove this actually took place. So this
crocodile goes over and starts messing around with the cooler.
(20:58):
There was like a bunch of food and whatnot. So
the alligator goes or the crocodile, right, those are two
separate things. So the crocodile goes over and steals the
cooler full of beer, and and so this got posted
on Facebook. It was there was some like play by
play on it, but that's not where the story is, right.
(21:18):
The story is the croc goes over, crashes this picnic,
steals the cooler full of beer, and then ends up
fighting with another croc who tried to take the beer.
So they've done this before. The other one has a
taste for beer. It sounds like, I guess, or maybe
(21:40):
they thought there was something else in there. Pretty crazy,
pretty pretty wild and crazy. These things are doing their thing.
But anyway, so there you go. Yeah, you're having a
nice picnic piccotic basket. Right. Some other looks like some
fruit there some veggies. Can't really tell what else is
(22:02):
in the Picnic Next up on the Safari Kingdom. Dogs,
it turns out, increase your risk of a sleep DISORDERFF
and cats boost the chance of legtrics. Just according to
a recent study that said pets can provide a sense
(22:28):
of security, they do negatively affect sleep. The largest sleep
differences we're seen between dog and non dog owners. Snoring,
abruptly waking up, and a need for sleeping pills were
factored in. This is a study from Lincoln Memorial University.
(22:51):
I assume that's in. I don't know. There's a lot
of places named Lincoln, so I don't know where that
which Lincoln that is. But they said dogs are more
trouble with sleeping, sleeping disorder, sleep apnea, feeling unrested, feeling sleepy,
not getting enough sleep, needing pills to sleep, having leg jerks,
while cats cats disrupt your sleep, was snoring, trouble with
(23:13):
falling asleep, sleeping in leg jerks. So there you go. Yeah,
and I buy this because just a few nights ago,
our little dog was snapping at our cat throughout the night.
The two of them just could not get comfortable. The
cat would go to sleep for like five minutes, wake up,
(23:33):
go play, in the blinds. This cat zooming around making noise.
The dog is pissed off, trying to snap at the cat.
My wife just grabs her pregnant pillows and says, I
can't even sleep, I'm going downstairs, and stomped downstairs, pissed
off at both pits. That is unfortunate. Yeah, No, I
(23:56):
do not have a cat. I have Bella. Bella's in
the nursing home. She's still at the house, but she's
been quarantined because Bella has lost the ability to control
her bodily functions anyway, So, but she slept in like
on the edge of the bed for many many years,
and but she would like when she was potty trained,
(24:19):
she would wake up. She would wake me up by
standing on my head and pawing at my forehead, wake
me up. Whether I was ready to get up or not.
She was like, I need to go to the bathroom,
so I'll just wake your fat ass up. And she
didn't bother my wife very much. It was always me.
She liked to harass me. So I think they go
(24:41):
to the man first because they are scared of the women,
same way we are sexist. Because my cat as cool
as a panther as he is. If he wants to
eat in the middle of the night, his go to
move is to go knock the blinds around because he
knows that noise pisses us off. So he's like, yeah,
(25:04):
he's sleeping, motherfucker. So he goes to my side of
the bed where the blinds are, and he just starts
whacking away with his paws. They're not that dumb. I mean,
they're not the smartest, but they're not that them. All right,
don't do a lost cap magnet pencil next. So next up,
here's one Beatles. We got some story about vermin and
(25:27):
oh I love Paul McCartney. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So the
well known beetle which sucks water into their butts to
stay hydrated. Did you know that about the beetle? No? Yeah,
scientists say they now know how instead of drinking water
through their mouths, beatles op for a slightly different approach
(25:52):
and they use their buttocks. Can you first of all,
can you imagine being the scientist as signed to figure
out how they drink water out of their ass? Yeah?
That's your gig. Unbelievable study published just this week a
couple days ago in the Journal Proceedings of the National
(26:14):
Academy of Sciences. It says while the dairy air drinking
behavior was known to scientists, the mechanisms behind it were
unknown until now. A new investigation by researchers from Denmark
and Scotland. That's what they're doing in Denmark and Scotland,
they're going for it reveals that the insects can pull
(26:34):
a moisture from the air through their rectums and convert
it into fluids like that's like magic, and it then
gets absorbed into their bodies. This is like but dunka
dunk to infinity and beyond. And it says the weird
trick is essentially beneficial when living in an extremely dry environment,
(26:59):
so they can just get water out of the air. Yeah.
I was gonna say, if they were chilling in southern
California the past month, they'd be waterboarded. Yeah, they would.
They would have drowned by now is what they would
have done. Here's a story to scary about mosquitos. A
new invasive mosquito has descended on Florida. And of course
(27:23):
you know what that means, Danny, the media is scaring everybody. Disease, disease, disease, disease,
you're all going to die. The mosquito is originally from
Central and South America, but it has spread to South
Florida and they're concerned about the West Nile virus. All right,
(27:45):
so remind me not to go where gagon is there
in Florida. I'll try to avoid that. Well, this is
a fake animal. So you know that that cat scratch
fever thing, that fake snake cat. Did you see that?
I did? Yeah, yeah, everyone got fooled by it. People
were like, I can't believe that. That's unbelievable. I don't understand.
(28:09):
So if he didn't see it. A photo of this
black and yellow cat went viral on every social media
platform and there was a text that claimed it was
a snake cat from the Amazon Rainforest. It turns out
it was. It was not legit, and now the Daily
Mail this Week investigated. They talked to the guy behind
(28:30):
it and says that he cooked it up using it
was AI generated. I knew it was a fake. It
was artificial intelligence generated. But he got post to Facebook, Twitter, TikTok,
thousands of people shared it. Millions of people saw it
and they were like, was it real? Is it a hoax.
But you knew right away, Danny, you knew that it
(28:51):
was not. I had to look at it for a
little bit, but it looked too cool to be true. Yeah,
it was pretty good looking, and it was like as
scary as I gotta. It's like whoa like? But then
you thought, in the whole wide world, there's a bunch
of stuff we don't know about. But he looked like
it's just like a regular housecap. But it was. It's
like as obviously like a snake, black and white reptilian,
(29:14):
and it's pretty good anyway. The guy is a Russian.
Russian Facebook user came up with that he's the guy
behind it, a comrade, it's ai art. Do you think
that'll be the first and only fake animal this guy creates?
Oh god, no, I don't even half the stuff I
(29:34):
want I see on the internet. I think it's total bullshit. Well,
here's the story out of Tanzania that will warm your heart.
In these in the very popular Safari Kingdom, And how
about this? They say there is a lake in Tanzania
that instantly turns animals that touch it to stone. Doesn't
(29:57):
that sound something out like out of the Bible or
some kind of like story, yeah, very much. So, Yeah,
it doesn't sound legit at all, but there is a
story making the rounds to say that it is absolutely true.
Lake Natron it's a blood red lake in Tanzania that's
one of the world's deadliest, and it says that it's
(30:21):
it's typically fatal for most animals that will be encrusted
in salt. It's it's only bacteria. Oh that makes the
water red. Very sodom and gomorrah. Yeah, so this is
just a lake. It's like, it looks crazy because it's
all red, but it's it's all freaking bacteria. How wild
(30:44):
is that. It's right out of Greek mythology. It would
be like drinking out of that big body of water
near Palm Springs, the Salt and Sea. Yea, the Salt
and Sea, which is a great resort town until it
wasn't a great resort town. Yea, until all the dead
species we're washing up on the shore. Yeah. Now, the
only thing it's good for is people on YouTube that
(31:06):
go out there and make videos or album cover shoots
like Lincoln Park did back in the day. There you go,
so remind me not to go to South Florida. Or Tanzania.
I'll try not to go to those two places, and
we'll do a little I got a couple, I got
a few minutes here, so we'll do a quick, a quick,
(31:26):
a couple of questions on pop Quiz, and so let's
get the party started here on pop Quiz, Danny, I'm
gonna ask you these questions. You listening can play along
and let's see how you do. So the first one,
about forty percent of drivers have admitted that they have
a bad habit of doing this while driving. Masturbating. Well,
(31:52):
it's actually higher than that, No, it is rubber necking. Okay,
I think it's higher, and that anytime there's an an accident,
it's a bumper, A bumper, a bumper. We all, Yeah,
it's at least half of the people on the road
that are nosy checking out what's going on, even on
(32:13):
the other side of the freeway. Oh, totally, totally, totally.
And if there's a firetruck, police lights, it's it's a
show without the popcorn and the snacks. Next up on
pop because two thirds of drivers say it can take
over a week before they do something about this when
(32:34):
it happens to their vehicle. What is it when it
happens to their vehicle low fuel light comes on. Low
fuel light, Well, that would be something if he took
him over in a week, they'd be run out of again. No,
the correct answer women wait that long. Yeah. Yeah, my
wife is like I hate getting gased. She will wait
(32:57):
till the very last second. Bend that. That's how much
she hates the gas station. Yeah, my wife's the same way.
She knows I'll get gas like ninety five percent of
the time because I don't really mind getting gas. I
kind of like the smell of gas and all that.
But she sometimes you'll have to get gas, and I
always hear it, just like your wife, my eye, how
to get gas, you know, how to get out of
(33:17):
the car, the whole, the whole. You're purposely getting gas
on your fingers so you can smell it later. Oh
it's great. Yeah, it's a good smell. But the answer
is to clean. Bird is the word bird droppings, to clean.
Oh that's nasty. Get that shit off your paint immediately. Yeah,
that's not good for the paint. Man. You gotta just
hose that off. If you don't do something, get a tissue,
(33:40):
do something, because that's not good for the car. And
when I see people driving around with lots of bird
shit on their vehicle, that tells me something about them.
What does that tell you, Danny, that there's some dirty
m efforts. Yeah, that tells you their house is probably
covered in all kinds of shit too, right, weed man
hippie's house. So yeah, let's that's some fresh bird dudu
(34:03):
and it just happened. You do not roll around in
a car with tons of bird crap on it. It's
a bad look, you know what. I also don't like
that annoys me. The window tint that's been on for
too long and starts bubbling up. Yeah, that's a bad
that annoys me. That's a horrible look. Yeah, just tear
it off or get a new window tint or do something.
(34:25):
But that's just bad. Car is an extension of you,
and if it looks like that, then it's telling us
something about you. We got time for two more, two
more of these on pop quiz. So if if you
are average, you're certainly not average, Danding. But if you're average,
you have six of these right now. You have six
(34:47):
of these right now? What do you think of it?
You're average? You have six of these that would be
your sperm count. I hope it's higher than that. But
the answer is unread emails in your inbox. Oh, come on,
I mean we have hundreds. Who has six? I'm looking
(35:10):
right now at my inbox. You want to take a
guess how many unread emails I have in my in
Oh it's in the thousands, I'm sure, on top of
just all the regular life crap you would get no
matter what your profession is, we get lots of broadcasting crap. Yeah,
and I the email I use. I had a website
(35:31):
where a bunch of pr people would pitch me on
stories to put on the website. As you know, Danny,
once you end up on those email lists, you never
leave those email lists the rest of time. So right
now in my inbox, I have unread emails. I have
seventy thousand, seven hundred and eight unread emails in my inbox.
(35:54):
Hell now, yeah, it doesn't surprise me. Seventy thousand, and
that is down because at one point it was over
one hundred thousand. I deleted a bunch because I ran
out of space, So I delete a bunch, all right.
Last one ninety six percent of people say they have
no patience for this? What is it? No patience for this?
(36:17):
Ye Kanye West, Kanye West. That is well, actually it's
higher than that. At this point, I know the answer
is listening to voicemail messages. D That's number one. That
should be number one on the board. Who the hell
(36:38):
leaves voice messages in the year twenty twenty three. It's
not nineteen ninety three, it's twenty twenty three. Get with
the times. I'm the guy, Danny when when text messaging started,
I was going to send a text message, and now
I'm the guy that only wants to send text messages
and would like to not talk to anyone. That's me anyway,
(36:59):
it is. It is Friday, Danny. You want to promote anything?
You got any to promote here? Anything you want to
sell you? Last, lastly, on that last point, Ben, my
mom left a voice message and I deleted it without
listening to it. Oh your mom, your MAMU. Come on,
that's well, I mean I just called her instead. But
(37:19):
I'm just saying that's how much we do not listen
to voicemails. There's no question. It is a Friday. You're
done with your radio shift. I still have Covino and
rich with all their shenanigans going on Friday afternoon from
two to four pm West Coast time. All right, and
I will be hanging out. I am going to an
(37:41):
Italian restaurant today with my wife's friends, and then we
have some kind of big plan after them, Giggy, I'm
not exactly I'm just being dragged along Danny, so I'm
their boy toy. He there you go. Of course, the
ie candy blind on the eye candy. Anyway, have a
(38:04):
great rest your day. We got big podcast all weekend long.
Don't forget Saturday Saturday Saturday Life of Mallard, Life of
Danny ge podcast, and we'll have all kinds of wild
and crazy tales in that. And then on Sunday, got
the mailbag as well. Then right back on the radio
on a Sunday night in the Monday. Enjoy the college
(38:26):
basketball and we will catch you next time later. Skater
gott a murder, Gotta go.
Host
Ben Maller
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