April 1, 2023 • 38 mins
Maller & his 5th Hour homie Danny G. have fun for your Saturday! They're talking: Hunger Strike Ends, Flashing Lights, Back Scratcher, Pop Goes the Culture & more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kabooms. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred
minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last
remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. The Clearinghouse
of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air
everywhere the audio dojo is open for business again. You
have found the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny Gi.
But you already knew that I was a little ahead
(00:44):
of my time. Today is April fools Day, which is
ironic because I became the fool by promoting April fools
Day when it wasn't even April fools Day. But now
I checked the calendar app on my phone. Today is
the day. Today is the day, so I am correct.
(01:08):
Today's the day, Dame man. It has been an awesome
week into the weekend. Here Lakers are winning, Dodgers are winning, Clippers,
the Raiders are going to dominate the NFL Draft. And
are you going to go to the NFL Draft in
late Aprils this month? In Kansas City, isn't it? Yes, Yes,
(01:31):
the Heartland right there. How do you say? I like,
how you say Kansas City? I quote the play by
play guy for the Chiefs. It's Cansa City, your old producer,
wrong button, Bob. But he told me, he said, Hey,
if they want to send me there, I'm gonna tell
him that I can't go due to family obligations. He's like,
(01:54):
send you instead. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure that that'll
that'll happen, of course. And then but anybody that goes
to kans City, there's a rule. And I don't know
if don Or Scott told you about this, but they
told me that there's a rule. Anyone from the company,
any from iHeart Fox Sports Radio that goes to Kansas City,
they have to eat at the Landing the chicken fingers.
(02:17):
They It's required, or else you've got to pay for
your whole trip. So now, if you go to Kansas City,
you gotta have the Ben Mallar chicken fingers at the Landing,
which is in Liberty, Missouri, right next to it's actually
near Arrowhead and where the Chiefs play and the Royals
at their stadium. So there's that. But the the number
(02:38):
one barbecue plays and I at all the big ones
when I was in Kansas City years ago, and I
gotta get back to Kansas City too. It's on my
list of places I gotta go back and hang out.
But it's a it's a cool place to visit. Good food,
good people. But Kansas City they have this. It used
to be called Oklahoma Joe's. It's now Kansas City Joes.
It's at a gas station, so it's actually at a
(03:01):
working gas station, and there is always a line out
the door. It's like there we have Teitos tacos, where
there's a line here in La Well, then that's their
Teitos tacos. It's nuts and the z Man sandwich the
single greatest thing I have ever had. I should put
a word in here, food wise, in my mouth, in
(03:24):
my belly, next thing I know. I just saw this
white thing flying at my face and the ze Mans
much amazing, amazing, so good taste like a touchdown in
your mouth. Oh it was not. It was a game
winning touchdown. It was a Grand Slam. It was. It
(03:45):
was insane. So um. But anyway, so we got a
lot of things to get to on the Saturday podcast,
and we'll we'll get the partee started here with We've
got a hunger strike, ending hunger strike ending, flashing lights
backscratcher pop goes the culture and scientifically, and we will
(04:06):
start with this. Every once in a while, a protest works, Danny.
Every once in a while a protest, it's it's successful.
It doesn't happen all the time. Right away, Are they
going to lower the prices for our vending machine? No? No, no, no,
(04:27):
no no. But for the last year on the Overnight Show,
I made several references on the on the show that's
got my name on it, and it was get up,
get down. There's a Mallard movement in this town. You know.
It was that kind of thing, you know, no justice,
no peace. It was hey, hey, ho ho, the Angel
(04:48):
pr staff has to go, you know that whole thing.
I was denied access media access to cover the Angels
last season. Oh I remember you ranting about it. Yeah,
So I went on a few rants and you know,
what do we want credentials? When do we want them? Now?
You know that kind of thing. I all, I have
(05:10):
all the protest chance down, I know them more. Um So, anyway,
this season I was asked by the great Leader Lap
who takes care of a lot of that stuff. Lee's like, hey,
do you need me to take care of anything? And
I said, yeah, you know, let's let's see what's up
in Anaheim. You know, let's see if they turned me
down two years in a row, those Hey loosum And
(05:30):
so he sent a request in and turn out the
Angel said, Okay, you're good. I think shoe Hey did it.
He's definitely a man of the people. That's a thing
I don't understand because last night check maybe maybe he's
been traded, and it's like, maybe that's the big story today.
You know that he got traded on April Fool's Day.
But Otani's selling team, the argument I was told was
(05:53):
there's no room for you because of all the Japanese media,
because of Shohei Otani, and there's hardly any room in
the media area for the Angels because they got rid
of all that years ago. And so I was like, okay, whatever.
But the main reason I wanted to go out there
last year in twenty twenty two is I had known
Joe Madden when he was a coach with the Angels
and he was back and I wanted to. I wanted
(06:14):
to talk to Madden and catch up with him. He's
long gone, but anyway, I'm back in the good graces
of the Angels. So the protest worked. It was a
bloodless activity, Danny. There was no blood that was drawn.
It was It was not a full insurrection or a
mutiny or anything like that. And I liked it better
(06:35):
when you talked full on shit about the Angels. Oh,
I'll still talk shit about the Angels, but I will
not talk shit about their pr staff at all. Wonderful people.
And uh now there is one complaint I have, not
only for the Angels but the Dodgers. And this will
likely be seen as petty and you listing will say, oh, Mallard,
(06:56):
you're just being a tight wide, You're being a cheapass.
So the other day I had a double header. I
wanted to take care of a lot of this stuff.
When you're in the in the media and you're lucky
enough to go to these games, you have to pick
up your credentials Otherwise if you don't pick them up
in advance, it becomes a big, big shit show. So
(07:17):
I was like, all right, I'll pick these up early,
and I got up I only got a few hours
to sleep. I think this was on Wednesday, you know,
I think it was on Tuesday. I don't even know
what day it was. It's back on Tuesday. So I
got up early. I drove to Dodger Stadium and the
Dodgers were not playing that day, and I picked up
my my past and I asked the young lady in
(07:42):
the pr booth, I said, can you can you give me?
Is there a lanyard? And she kind of rudely said no,
we don't provide lane And I said, okay, Well that's
that's that's odd. I've been been here for twenty five
years or whatever it is. I've never had a problem
getting one from the Dodge. But I guess now you
times are tough in these you know, economic times we
(08:03):
live in, and so okay. So I then get back
and I'm literally at Dodger Stadium for five minutes. I
pull into the parking lot in the in the lot,
it's uh, I figured what a lot. It was like
a lot seven or something. I pull in, I'm out done,
go down to Anai. Takes me an hour and a
half to get the Anaheim from Dodger Stadium rush hour
(08:23):
I'm surprised I got there that fast. So I go,
Angels are actually playing the Dodgers in an exhibition, so whatever,
I go up, say, hey, I'm so and so you
know I'm here to pick up my pass. Who exactly?
So you're the guy that ripped the shit out of us? Yeah? No,
so I think I was the guy was totally cool whatever.
It gave me the pass. So I said, okay, cool,
Can I get a lanyard? No, we don't provide lanyards,
(08:45):
So neither the Dodgers or the Angels will provide a lanyard.
Keep in mind, these passes you have to wear it
all time because of Major League Baseball security, you need
a lanyard for the passes. So like, what the fuck
is that? So then I tech my friend Bob Bob
Fesco in Kansas City. I said, hey, Bob, there's apparently
a Major League Baseball policy to not provide lanyards. And
(09:11):
I was like, it was just it's it's a nuisance, Dan,
It's an annoyance, right, It's one of those things in life.
How hard is it to get a box of lanyards?
So this is an inconvenience, and you know it's I
realize it's insignificant. I get that. I'm not naive too.
It's it's just a minor inconvenience, one of those small
(09:33):
annoyances of life. So I understand that part of it.
So I had text my friend Bob. I go on
to show every every Thursday, we yap. And so about
a half hour later, my friend Bob text me back.
He says, I just picked up my Royals pass. I
have a lanyard. The Royals provide a lanyard. So we
(09:53):
have determined the Royals are more of a big League
team than the Dodgers of the Angels. They're more the
media friendly. And that is a full endorsement of the
Royals because my friend Bob did not have that annoyance.
He did not have that irritation. It's like a mosquito bite.
He did not have that because the Royals, who fucking suck,
(10:17):
took care of their report. So the Royals are on
the road. No, no, the Royals are having their problems
on the road. Royals having their problems on the road.
I'm Ben Malick, Great, what did you do? Did you
go back to your old stash of passes and find
(10:40):
some lanyards that fit. I think that's probably what you did,
because cheap to order new ones off of Amazon. No.
But but Bob did tell me that Amazon has a
good deal on Neil lanyards that if I wanted one,
But yeah, I had, I had to go back. I
have a box where I'd throw a lot of these
things from years past, and so I think I took
a acre pass when Kobe was on Shack. We're on
(11:02):
the team, and I took the lanyard off that and
repurpose it. Anybody on the Clippers is a half of
what Kobe Bryant is, which is Okay, I'm just saying,
is it really that hard? You're a multi billion dollar
baseball team. You're giving an item out that needs a lanyard?
Am I a dick? Yeah? Let me know and email
me or post something on let me know if I'm
(11:24):
a dick in dating. Okay, So I did all that.
There were no flashing lights, but there are plenty of
flashing lights out there in the world. Any plenty of
flashing lights. I drove up to Oxnard, California last Saturday
because I wanted to surprise my wife. He's oldest kid
(11:44):
with a new stereo in his car. I am single
handedly keeping FM and AM radio alive. Ben Good, we
need that. Yeah. His first car is a two thousand
and nine Corolla. He just started college. The radio inside
his car, though, was a piece of crap. But he
was nice enough to let me borrow his car. When
(12:06):
I was in between car dealerships just a few months back.
I thought to myself, you know, a nice gesture would
be to put a little sound system in his car.
So I took his car. So he thinks we're just
taking it to the dealership to get the tires adjusted. Instead,
I made an appointment with Best Spy and I drove
(12:26):
it up there. I got a nice Sony stereo flat
screen with some nice JBL speakers in the doors. Bloom.
All of a sudden, his sounds in the car are
going to be legit boomy. How many miles are on me?
I'm curious how many miles, oh Man on his Corolla?
Two hundred and fourteen thousand miles. How many miles can
(12:50):
those things go before they completely die? Three hundred thousand miles. Yeah,
if you take care of it and you get it maintenanced. Yeah,
he still has a little bit of life. Left in it.
But I'm figured, even though this car probably doesn't have
very many years left, why not have some nicer speakers
(13:11):
in there and Apple car Play, which is a must nowadays.
If you don't have Apple car Play, I don't even
know how you're alive right now. I don't have I
don't have a Well, why is it so good? Do
you connect it to your iPhone and everything is out
of touch of the screen right in front of you,
and everything is voice controlled, And it's just it's just
(13:34):
super convenient for your music and everything else media, especially
when you listen to podcasts while you drive and things
like that. So now he has that capability, which is
really nice. But I had to kill some time because
I dropped the car off at the Best Buy installation bay.
It's an eleven fifteen am appointment and the guy tells
(13:55):
me gonna need to come back in about two and
a half three hours. So I grab my backpack and
I am on foot in Oxnard. Man, I'm walking down
Rose Avenue. I used to live there back in the
days to program radio in that area back in the day,
so I know my way around that city. Um So
the first thing I do is go score some drugs.
(14:17):
I'm kidding. So you went and worked out where the
Dallas Cowboys work out. That's the training camp, home of
the Dallas Cowboy. That's Jerry's world on the West coast.
Come on, oh, you're not kiddy man. I there were
some nights where I was inside the Spearmint Rhino with
Emmett Smith, bunch of hookers and cocaine. So years later
(14:38):
when I saw Emmett, we were like, hey, Spearmint Rhino
at broadcast. Do you remember that? I do? Yeah, yeah,
and that's why he was looking at me funny. When
we saw him on Radio Row, He's like, I know
you now, Danny Way, Just for the for the record,
you were the job morant of your day. You party
(14:59):
of like John Moran of the Memphis Christon. Yes, except
it was a pellet gun I had in my waistband. Yes,
and it was not fifty thousand large. It was monopoly money,
but it was close and it was you had some
Mickey Mouse dollars mixed in there, right. Yeah. Yeah. Now
I had to figure out how to kill some time.
I did have some work to do. Well, let me
(15:20):
find a Starbucks. I can get onto their WiFi and
you know, handle this business. I have left for editing.
As I find the Starbucks band which is about two
full blocks away from the best Buy, I noticed that
there's a shiny Walmart in the corner, not just a Walmart,
a shiny Walmart, and the parking lot is jam packed,
(15:46):
and I was like, well, this must be a good Walmart.
Now I don't know about you. Well I do know
about you. You don't mind the lights inside Walmart, which
bothered me and a lot of other people. You're like,
my wife's the same way. I like a deal. I
enjoy a deal, and you get the most bang for
your bucket Walmart. And I also enjoy people watching, even
(16:07):
though I'm an introvert and I don't really like talking
to strangers. I like walking around and looking at the freaks.
It's like I'm on Fremont Street in Vague or Atlantic City,
or New Orleans or South Beach at a Walmart. It's amazing,
and these people live amongst us, Danny, It's fascinating, and
they likely look at me and say, look at that fatass.
(16:30):
He lives amongst us. Also, we all have the same thought.
We're like, Okay, these are these amazing Piet pull. How
weird they look. It was great to see Pooh. You
know there's been some weather phenomenon happening in our state
over the past couple of months. This won't surprise you.
The power went off. Oh yes, now waiting, it's kind
(16:54):
of flickering, so it's the lights are flashing. I'm wondering
if like a backup generation is gonna go on. Probably
not the best place to be inside a ghetto fied
Walmart with no lights on. That would not go so well, shit,
are people gonna start looting this place? Yeah, that's what
I was gonna ask you. Did people start grabbing shit?
(17:16):
Because they do it when the lights are on. I
can only imagine with the lights flickering and lights off
and emergency lights, they would they would have a field day.
The two minutes felt like ten minutes. Finally the lights
come back on, but it's it's kind of like a
dim light, so I'm guessing it was a backup generator.
This is the first time I can actually spend a
(17:39):
half hour inside a Walmart and not feel sick when
I leave. Oh, come on, Danny, don't be a lightweight
day and he's just lights? Who the hell cares come on.
So I went to the baby section. I found an
infant sized Dodger baby shirt, and that was my big
purchase inside that Walmart. When I got to the front,
(18:02):
the girl at the cash register, she said, I hope
the lights come back on all the way because I
think a couple of people already ran out at the
front with some merchandise. Now, let the record show I'd
paid for the baby Dodgers shirt that I got. But yeah,
it was my probably my most favorite experience inside of
(18:23):
Walmart so far in my life. Now, how much baby
stuff have you purchased, Danny, Because you've got for those.
I get email from people, give me an update. We're
not get an update on the little Danny j We're
not getting update on that. She is now twenty two
weeks pregnant, so we're over the halfway mark. Okay, the
baby is due at the very end of July, coming up.
(18:47):
That's acts. It seems like far away, but it'll be
here before you know it. Yeah, they always say think
ahead when you buy the clothes because everybody gives you
like the newborn clothes, the newborn clothes, but the baby
grows out of those imediately, so you only need a
few of those outfits. So everything I've been buying right
now are outfits that are like eighteen months and older. Okay,
(19:10):
how long do they stay in those? Untill about kindergarten?
Baby Huey pret modern pregnancy, like there were times like
women were pregnant sometimes and we still see these stories
like they don't even know they're pregnant then like the
kid will end up all right. I don't see how
that is even possible not know that there's something swimming
(19:33):
around inside your stomach, like the baby kicks and moves
all the time. You'd have to be a retard. That
was Danny g Radio. That was not me. I was daying. Okay,
you'd have to, let me rephrase, You'd have to be
very special to not know that there's something inside of
you growing. Yeah, I would tend to agree with you.
(19:57):
And maybe I'm wrong on this, But as I understand
and my recollection Danny, is that many of the people,
the ladies that have had this happen to them, let's
just say they're a little disheveled. They don't necessarily take
care of themselves, and they they've enjoyed a few hearty
meals over the years. Okay, what do they think that
that's gas inside their stomachs moving around and kicking them? Oh,
(20:21):
I need some pepto. I just got kicked. They must
have horrendous gas before they got pregnant. That's the only
logical conclusion one could make that that's that's what happened.
So yeah, because now we're at the stage where we
can finally feel the baby's kick from the outside. So
(20:43):
if I touch your stomach, I can feel the baby kick. Tibo,
slap me around a little bit. You don't know you're
getting kicked by a little baby inside of you. Yeah,
that's pretty wild. I agree with you, all right. At
turning the page show we got a little time less,
so we got a lot to get to it a
little time, which is amazing. I always think, oh, man,
we're not gonna have enough stuff for the podcast, Danny,
(21:05):
and then we always end up having too much stuff.
Why is that, Danny? Why can't we not just have
just enough stuff? Because one of the most interesting men
in the world. Yeah, sure, all right, So the backscratcher,
the backscratcher. You scratch our back, we scratch your back.
We are happy to report Danny this week I hope
you're ready. Get your nee pads ready, Danny, Are you ready?
(21:27):
I'm ready. We are going to be scratching. No one's back,
no one. We pitched a shutout, a perfect game, none,
just in time for baseball season. Yeah. We are still
eleven ratings away, eleven from a new round number that
we've gotten a lot over the years, not as many
(21:50):
as a lot of other podcasts, but we're only a
weekend podcast, eleven away from four hundred. We can do it.
We can do it. Pick it up. We need to
help on this. The Apple podcast pages in the description,
Danny and also Scott Shapiro, Don Martin give us a
gold watch for four hundred. Nice, Yeah makes gold watches.
(22:17):
Rob Parker told me that a gold watch unless he
did Unless I made that up. Pop goes the culture,
and that means ohio owoo, all right, thank you, ohio
(22:43):
ow And here some crazy pop culture related stories. Remember
that con artist that went viral because of a couple
of documentaries, The Fire Festival, Billie McFarlane, Oh yeah, I
saw that. Yeah, The Fire Festival was a great documentary.
So Billy McFarland went to jail and now he is
(23:06):
back for nearly nineteen thousand dollars. Billy McFarlane is going
to spill the tea in Germany. McFarland known as a
con man who was able to swindle more than twenty
six million dollars before he was even thirty years old,
(23:29):
and he's going to be hanging out here. In the
month of April, he'll be making an appearance at something
called the Entrepreneur University Founder's Summit in Germany, and he
intends to share his side of the fiasco and what
happened there. He owes twenty six million dollars. You imagined
(23:53):
owing twenty six million dollars. Man, I'm stressed out and
I only owe a couple of thousand dollars to credit cards.
It's ridiculous. And the way this works, he's spilling his
guts and all that. And he said the hotel, airfare
and taxes will be paid. All that will be will
(24:17):
be taken care of. For McFarlane, he'll end up out
of the nineteen thousand, he'll end up keeping two thousand,
three hundred for himself. He also has to pay seven thousand,
four hundred ninety two dollars will go towards the twenty
six million, So that'll go a long way to help
out that. The people that are owed money, what do
(24:40):
you what do they all get like a check in
the mail for three cents. Yeah, it's like when you're
part of those class action lawsuits and you end up
getting like a dollar fifty or something like that and
the lawyer ends up getting seven thousand dollars. Next up,
Peter Pop goes the culture animal rights group PETE a
second straight podcast Peter is part of. They are demanding
(25:03):
the ban on a bunch of sporting terms that we use. Danny.
They're say they're they're disrespectful sporting terms. Among them, they're
all animals sporting terms. They include worm burner. They want
that's a tennis term. I believe worm burner. They want
to get rid of that. Uh, there's all a badminton
(25:26):
players should never describe a shuttle hit hit out of
play as a dead bird their offinitive up. Oh, I
guess wormburner is a golf term. I thought it was
a tenn term, So no worm burner. They also here's
one that will warm you up. They want it was
a shuttlecock one. The uh, well, the bad mitten one.
(25:49):
They say players should never describe a shuttle cock hit
out of play as a dead bird needs to be
called dead cock. Well, yeah, you could say there goes
the cock. You could say that cockadoodle. Du that's a drop. No,
it's not, No, it is not. H And at tennis,
the hot dog shot used by Roger Federer and others,
(26:12):
where the balls hit between the player's legs, they called
the hot dog shot. Peter says it should be called
the vegan hot dog. Well, I'm not. I swear to God,
i am not. This is an actual story. Uh. And
they say that the bulls eye in darts this is
an onion story. It is not, they say. They say
(26:33):
the bulls eye and darts should be renamed, and they
are worried that anyone thinks it refers to an actual bull. Yeah.
This is the campaign from the People for the Ethical
Treatment of Animals. Peter list of sporting terms they want overhauled.
(26:54):
This is this is wonderful, this is so. This is
why nobody takes them seriously. All right, this is why
nobody takes seriously seriously ahead of a boat race. Just recently,
Peter also wrote to a British rowing outfit calling for
an end to the obscure rowing term catch a crab.
(27:14):
They want that. They want that going away. Like when
COVID and when we were on Southern California locked Down.
We got that list of approved sports and badminton was
on there, but tennis wasn't. It was so stupid. The
whole list was dumb. That's what this reminds me of
(27:38):
boxing terms that are on the list. Peter suggested they
get rid of rabbit punches. You can't have a rabbit
punch in boxing, and spinebreaker. They do not want spinebreaker
to be final. You know, they want nothing to do
with that. They said. Since throwing a rabbit punch is
already banned in boxing and other fightings sports, why not
(28:01):
retire the phrase? They claim? And I mean, this is
so stupid. And there you go, Peter pet I don't
know if it's on your list of allowed meats, but
eat a dick. Well, it turns out that Twitter's boss,
(28:22):
Elon Musk, is a full of dogshit, not literally, of course,
but it's been revealed that Twitter actually does have a
secret VIP list that Elon Musk has said he wants
to treat everyone equal. Well, not so fast, my friend.
It turns out that there is a cool kids club
(28:45):
at Twitter. I wonder if Joe Rogan's on that. You
think Joe Rogan made the cut. I don't know. I
have no idea. But there is a VIP list. This
report claims Twitter has this list. There's around thirty five
VIP users. The tweets of these individs jewels get a
boost from the algorithm if they drop. So it's the
(29:06):
way to do it. I'd heard years ago from someone
that a lot of certain sportscasters who worked at a
fledgling cable network in Connecticut, Danny were put in to
this wild and crazy algorithm where they ended up picking
up three, four or five, six, seven hundred thousand followers
(29:30):
automatically just having their name in this very special list.
And so so many people that worked at this small
cable outfit in Connecticut ended up with all these followers
because they were in on Twitter early the company they
worked for and they took care of them. Speaking of that,
did you see that Elon Musk has passed Barack Obama?
(29:52):
He is the most followed person on Twitter. Now, I
wonder how that happened. Did you see how he he
sent an email to all his employees saying you got
to show up in person at your job now. He
does not want people working from home anymore, no more.
Good luck on that. Good luck on that. Although tech
(30:13):
has cut back a lot, Facebook and the tech industry,
it's no longer the boom times in tech. Now they've
got to approve, they've got to pacify Wall Street. So
good luck on that. I'm assuming Covino and rich on
your show, Danny that you work on that they talked
(30:34):
about the serial sperm donor did that come up in
conversation this week? That didn't come up? No? Really, No, Oh,
that's a wild story. This guy has fathered five hundred
and fifty kids. Yeah, I read this story pretty creepy. Yeah.
This guy's a musician. He's a Dutch musician and one
(30:55):
of the all time great masturbaters of our time. He's
a master and just a master better around five kids.
He's forty one years old. He's donated sperm to at
least thirteen clinics, including eleven in the Netherlands. He is blacklisted.
He's been blacklisted for six years because he's he's fathered.
(31:17):
According to the Times of London, he's fathered one hundred
and two kids in the Netherlands and the guide he
lives in Kenya. Now he lives in Kenya. But they're
worried about incests because all these these kids are gonna
grow up and then they're gonna have kids, and they're
gonna start hooking up and they're not gonna realize they're
(31:38):
hooking up with their brother or their sister or their
half brother half sister. That's pretty pretty crazy, man, Yeah,
makes it creepy. How many times do you think he's
donated the U the tartar sauce to get to that
level five hundred and fifty. How many you think you
think he's gone three hundred times, two hundred times. I
(32:02):
think he's only gone like fifteen times. Will you say
to your new girlfriend, hey, baby, and it turns out
she's your baby sister? Dude? Oh, there's day new Prediction
on the Future Danny on Pop goes the culture New
Prediction on the Future. It says experts have revealed that
(32:25):
workplace is what they're gonna look like in twenty fifty,
including holographic receptionist. So you're gonna go into a dentist
office and there'll be a hologram. Welcome to the dentist's office.
You're buying that that'side of like Star Star Wars or
something like that, isn't it. It better be a hologram
of the beautiful Aliah or somebody like that. Make it
(32:49):
a singer or an actress that's passed away way too soon.
That would be cool. Yeah, would you want to be
a hologram? Danny? When you're gone? You could just live
on forever as a hologram. Brought me up against the jukebox.
When I die there you go. All right? They can
copy my voice and just the Ben Maller Show could
go on for thousands of years if they just have
(33:10):
AI use my voice, and then we just keep doing
the show and I won't be around, but there'll be
an automatic version of me or an audio recreation of
my voice. Our last one on pop goes to culture
and we'll have to push We're never gonna get rid
of you. We'll push back the scientifically. Why don't we
do that on the Sunday podcast? Is that good for you?
(33:32):
I think that Yeah, that works. I'll have a little
time on Sunday before we get to the mail bag.
So this comes from the art world. They have determined
how famous painters back in the day we're able to
create these works of art that and protect them from
(33:52):
wrinkling in humidity. And they've determined that Leonardo da Vinci,
among others, added something that we still have to this day.
We still use these a lot in the kitchen. Added
this to oil paintings. And the experts studied the effects
of adding these this item, and it turns out the
(34:15):
technique helped overcome issues with humidity, wrinkling and yellowing. That
item danny egg yolks. So Leonardo da Vinci figured out
that by adding egg yolks it would it would work.
Wonders for the painting. That's that's wild, that's in the
(34:38):
fifteen fifteen hundreds. What did he do? Did he put
it on the brush, mix it in the paint, put
it on the palette. I'm not sure exactly what he did.
I don't think they know for sure what he did,
but said adding egg yolk. Has found that it provided
stiff paints with strong imposto, being able to layer it
(35:01):
on thickly and prevented wrinkling on the surface. And try
he discovered the water uptake from human environments such as
where Da Vinci lived, can be suppressed with the egg
proteins formed a they formed a thin layer around the
particles of the paint pigment. So all right, crazy, I
(35:23):
wonder how he figured that out. You think he figured
it out on his own, or is it possible, Danny,
that alien creatures helped him out. Doo doo doo doo
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
George Nori. Yeah, all right, let's get out, Danny. Anything
you want to promote, anything at all you would like
(35:44):
to promote here, Danny, anything you want to sell sat
Or Day. Yeah, I'm actually gonna be filling in producing
today from one pm to seven pm West Coast time.
Oh that's a long shift. Yes, I'll be at the network.
Well you'll be doing that, Danny. I will not be
at the network. I will not I will be watching baseball.
(36:06):
I will be betting on baseball. I'm like Pete Rose.
I will have a wonderful time, and we thank you
for listening. I have a great rest of your day.
And don't forget new podcast coming out tomorrow. Podcast only.
This is not on radio you can only get this
on the podcast Danny nowhere else, nowhere else we'll see
and Ben, don't let any little kids fall in front
(36:29):
of your house on a sidewalk and pretend like they're
dying today, because that's the April Fools joke. Me and
my older brother used to play in our neighborhood. Oh
that was your go to I used to. What I
used to do is I used to do these fake
news stories. I take an AP wire story and I
would eat This is an email before text message. So
I would take an AP wire story of a trade
(36:50):
and then I copy and I cut the names out
of the players that were traded. I insert much bigger names.
I would then hoppy and paste the story in my email.
I would send it to people in the radio becausiness.
Can you believe the Lakers traded Shaquille O'Neil to the Clippers?
(37:11):
I can't believe it either. Here's the stories from the
AP I get these phone calls. Holy fuck, I haven't
seen that on the wire. Did that? Did they take
that off the wire? It was it on the wire?
It was in an AP news break Like, what was it?
You know? Yeah, your clippers would have actually had a
championship ring. They actually do. They have the greatest arena,
(37:31):
their building, with the most bathrooms of any arena in
the NBA. Into It Dome, Danny the Into It to Home.
But we gotta go. I gotta get congratulations on all
those toilets. Hey listen, we gotta go use the one
that we have inside our crib. You say it doesn't matter, Danny,
(37:52):
but when you gotta take a whiz, and when you
gotta take a douche, I dump rather, you're better. You're
better off at the Clippers Arena. Have a great date today.
We'll catch you next time. Osta Pasta by Felicia
Kabooms. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred
minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last
remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. The Clearinghouse
of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air
everywhere the audio dojo is open for business again. You
have found the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny Gi.
But you already knew that I was a little ahead
(00:44):
of my time. Today is April fools Day, which is
ironic because I became the fool by promoting April fools
Day when it wasn't even April fools Day. But now
I checked the calendar app on my phone. Today is
the day. Today is the day, so I am correct.
(01:08):
Today's the day, Dame man. It has been an awesome
week into the weekend. Here Lakers are winning, Dodgers are winning, Clippers,
the Raiders are going to dominate the NFL Draft. And
are you going to go to the NFL Draft in
late Aprils this month? In Kansas City, isn't it? Yes, Yes,
(01:31):
the Heartland right there. How do you say? I like,
how you say Kansas City? I quote the play by
play guy for the Chiefs. It's Cansa City, your old producer,
wrong button, Bob. But he told me, he said, Hey,
if they want to send me there, I'm gonna tell
him that I can't go due to family obligations. He's like,
(01:54):
send you instead. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure that that'll
that'll happen, of course. And then but anybody that goes
to kans City, there's a rule. And I don't know
if don Or Scott told you about this, but they
told me that there's a rule. Anyone from the company,
any from iHeart Fox Sports Radio that goes to Kansas City,
they have to eat at the Landing the chicken fingers.
(02:17):
They It's required, or else you've got to pay for
your whole trip. So now, if you go to Kansas City,
you gotta have the Ben Mallar chicken fingers at the Landing,
which is in Liberty, Missouri, right next to it's actually
near Arrowhead and where the Chiefs play and the Royals
at their stadium. So there's that. But the the number
(02:38):
one barbecue plays and I at all the big ones
when I was in Kansas City years ago, and I
gotta get back to Kansas City too. It's on my
list of places I gotta go back and hang out.
But it's a it's a cool place to visit. Good food,
good people. But Kansas City they have this. It used
to be called Oklahoma Joe's. It's now Kansas City Joes.
It's at a gas station, so it's actually at a
(03:01):
working gas station, and there is always a line out
the door. It's like there we have Teitos tacos, where
there's a line here in La Well, then that's their
Teitos tacos. It's nuts and the z Man sandwich the
single greatest thing I have ever had. I should put
a word in here, food wise, in my mouth, in
(03:24):
my belly, next thing I know. I just saw this
white thing flying at my face and the ze Mans
much amazing, amazing, so good taste like a touchdown in
your mouth. Oh it was not. It was a game
winning touchdown. It was a Grand Slam. It was. It
(03:45):
was insane. So um. But anyway, so we got a
lot of things to get to on the Saturday podcast,
and we'll we'll get the partee started here with We've
got a hunger strike, ending hunger strike ending, flashing lights
backscratcher pop goes the culture and scientifically, and we will
(04:06):
start with this. Every once in a while, a protest works, Danny.
Every once in a while a protest, it's it's successful.
It doesn't happen all the time. Right away, Are they
going to lower the prices for our vending machine? No? No, no, no,
(04:27):
no no. But for the last year on the Overnight Show,
I made several references on the on the show that's
got my name on it, and it was get up,
get down. There's a Mallard movement in this town. You know.
It was that kind of thing, you know, no justice,
no peace. It was hey, hey, ho ho, the Angel
(04:48):
pr staff has to go, you know that whole thing.
I was denied access media access to cover the Angels
last season. Oh I remember you ranting about it. Yeah,
So I went on a few rants and you know,
what do we want credentials? When do we want them? Now?
You know that kind of thing. I all, I have
(05:10):
all the protest chance down, I know them more. Um So, anyway,
this season I was asked by the great Leader Lap
who takes care of a lot of that stuff. Lee's like, hey,
do you need me to take care of anything? And
I said, yeah, you know, let's let's see what's up
in Anaheim. You know, let's see if they turned me
down two years in a row, those Hey loosum And
(05:30):
so he sent a request in and turn out the
Angel said, Okay, you're good. I think shoe Hey did it.
He's definitely a man of the people. That's a thing
I don't understand because last night check maybe maybe he's
been traded, and it's like, maybe that's the big story today.
You know that he got traded on April Fool's Day.
But Otani's selling team, the argument I was told was
(05:53):
there's no room for you because of all the Japanese media,
because of Shohei Otani, and there's hardly any room in
the media area for the Angels because they got rid
of all that years ago. And so I was like, okay, whatever.
But the main reason I wanted to go out there
last year in twenty twenty two is I had known
Joe Madden when he was a coach with the Angels
and he was back and I wanted to. I wanted
(06:14):
to talk to Madden and catch up with him. He's
long gone, but anyway, I'm back in the good graces
of the Angels. So the protest worked. It was a
bloodless activity, Danny. There was no blood that was drawn.
It was It was not a full insurrection or a
mutiny or anything like that. And I liked it better
(06:35):
when you talked full on shit about the Angels. Oh,
I'll still talk shit about the Angels, but I will
not talk shit about their pr staff at all. Wonderful people.
And uh now there is one complaint I have, not
only for the Angels but the Dodgers. And this will
likely be seen as petty and you listing will say, oh, Mallard,
(06:56):
you're just being a tight wide, You're being a cheapass.
So the other day I had a double header. I
wanted to take care of a lot of this stuff.
When you're in the in the media and you're lucky
enough to go to these games, you have to pick
up your credentials Otherwise if you don't pick them up
in advance, it becomes a big, big shit show. So
(07:17):
I was like, all right, I'll pick these up early,
and I got up I only got a few hours
to sleep. I think this was on Wednesday, you know,
I think it was on Tuesday. I don't even know
what day it was. It's back on Tuesday. So I
got up early. I drove to Dodger Stadium and the
Dodgers were not playing that day, and I picked up
my my past and I asked the young lady in
(07:42):
the pr booth, I said, can you can you give me?
Is there a lanyard? And she kind of rudely said no,
we don't provide lane And I said, okay, Well that's
that's that's odd. I've been been here for twenty five
years or whatever it is. I've never had a problem
getting one from the Dodge. But I guess now you
times are tough in these you know, economic times we
(08:03):
live in, and so okay. So I then get back
and I'm literally at Dodger Stadium for five minutes. I
pull into the parking lot in the in the lot,
it's uh, I figured what a lot. It was like
a lot seven or something. I pull in, I'm out done,
go down to Anai. Takes me an hour and a
half to get the Anaheim from Dodger Stadium rush hour
(08:23):
I'm surprised I got there that fast. So I go,
Angels are actually playing the Dodgers in an exhibition, so whatever,
I go up, say, hey, I'm so and so you
know I'm here to pick up my pass. Who exactly?
So you're the guy that ripped the shit out of us? Yeah? No,
so I think I was the guy was totally cool whatever.
It gave me the pass. So I said, okay, cool,
Can I get a lanyard? No, we don't provide lanyards,
(08:45):
So neither the Dodgers or the Angels will provide a lanyard.
Keep in mind, these passes you have to wear it
all time because of Major League Baseball security, you need
a lanyard for the passes. So like, what the fuck
is that? So then I tech my friend Bob Bob
Fesco in Kansas City. I said, hey, Bob, there's apparently
a Major League Baseball policy to not provide lanyards. And
(09:11):
I was like, it was just it's it's a nuisance, Dan,
It's an annoyance, right, It's one of those things in life.
How hard is it to get a box of lanyards?
So this is an inconvenience, and you know it's I
realize it's insignificant. I get that. I'm not naive too.
It's it's just a minor inconvenience, one of those small
(09:33):
annoyances of life. So I understand that part of it.
So I had text my friend Bob. I go on
to show every every Thursday, we yap. And so about
a half hour later, my friend Bob text me back.
He says, I just picked up my Royals pass. I
have a lanyard. The Royals provide a lanyard. So we
(09:53):
have determined the Royals are more of a big League
team than the Dodgers of the Angels. They're more the
media friendly. And that is a full endorsement of the
Royals because my friend Bob did not have that annoyance.
He did not have that irritation. It's like a mosquito bite.
He did not have that because the Royals, who fucking suck,
(10:17):
took care of their report. So the Royals are on
the road. No, no, the Royals are having their problems
on the road. Royals having their problems on the road.
I'm Ben Malick, Great, what did you do? Did you
go back to your old stash of passes and find
(10:40):
some lanyards that fit. I think that's probably what you did,
because cheap to order new ones off of Amazon. No.
But but Bob did tell me that Amazon has a
good deal on Neil lanyards that if I wanted one,
But yeah, I had, I had to go back. I
have a box where I'd throw a lot of these
things from years past, and so I think I took
a acre pass when Kobe was on Shack. We're on
(11:02):
the team, and I took the lanyard off that and
repurpose it. Anybody on the Clippers is a half of
what Kobe Bryant is, which is Okay, I'm just saying,
is it really that hard? You're a multi billion dollar
baseball team. You're giving an item out that needs a lanyard?
Am I a dick? Yeah? Let me know and email
me or post something on let me know if I'm
(11:24):
a dick in dating. Okay, So I did all that.
There were no flashing lights, but there are plenty of
flashing lights out there in the world. Any plenty of
flashing lights. I drove up to Oxnard, California last Saturday
because I wanted to surprise my wife. He's oldest kid
(11:44):
with a new stereo in his car. I am single
handedly keeping FM and AM radio alive. Ben Good, we
need that. Yeah. His first car is a two thousand
and nine Corolla. He just started college. The radio inside
his car, though, was a piece of crap. But he
was nice enough to let me borrow his car. When
(12:06):
I was in between car dealerships just a few months back.
I thought to myself, you know, a nice gesture would
be to put a little sound system in his car.
So I took his car. So he thinks we're just
taking it to the dealership to get the tires adjusted. Instead,
I made an appointment with Best Spy and I drove
(12:26):
it up there. I got a nice Sony stereo flat
screen with some nice JBL speakers in the doors. Bloom.
All of a sudden, his sounds in the car are
going to be legit boomy. How many miles are on me?
I'm curious how many miles, oh Man on his Corolla?
Two hundred and fourteen thousand miles. How many miles can
(12:50):
those things go before they completely die? Three hundred thousand miles. Yeah,
if you take care of it and you get it maintenanced. Yeah,
he still has a little bit of life. Left in it.
But I'm figured, even though this car probably doesn't have
very many years left, why not have some nicer speakers
(13:11):
in there and Apple car Play, which is a must nowadays.
If you don't have Apple car Play, I don't even
know how you're alive right now. I don't have I
don't have a Well, why is it so good? Do
you connect it to your iPhone and everything is out
of touch of the screen right in front of you,
and everything is voice controlled, And it's just it's just
(13:34):
super convenient for your music and everything else media, especially
when you listen to podcasts while you drive and things
like that. So now he has that capability, which is
really nice. But I had to kill some time because
I dropped the car off at the Best Buy installation bay.
It's an eleven fifteen am appointment and the guy tells
(13:55):
me gonna need to come back in about two and
a half three hours. So I grab my backpack and
I am on foot in Oxnard. Man, I'm walking down
Rose Avenue. I used to live there back in the
days to program radio in that area back in the day,
so I know my way around that city. Um So
the first thing I do is go score some drugs.
(14:17):
I'm kidding. So you went and worked out where the
Dallas Cowboys work out. That's the training camp, home of
the Dallas Cowboy. That's Jerry's world on the West coast.
Come on, oh, you're not kiddy man. I there were
some nights where I was inside the Spearmint Rhino with
Emmett Smith, bunch of hookers and cocaine. So years later
(14:38):
when I saw Emmett, we were like, hey, Spearmint Rhino
at broadcast. Do you remember that? I do? Yeah, yeah,
and that's why he was looking at me funny. When
we saw him on Radio Row, He's like, I know
you now, Danny Way, Just for the for the record,
you were the job morant of your day. You party
(14:59):
of like John Moran of the Memphis Christon. Yes, except
it was a pellet gun I had in my waistband. Yes,
and it was not fifty thousand large. It was monopoly money,
but it was close and it was you had some
Mickey Mouse dollars mixed in there, right. Yeah. Yeah. Now
I had to figure out how to kill some time.
I did have some work to do. Well, let me
(15:20):
find a Starbucks. I can get onto their WiFi and
you know, handle this business. I have left for editing.
As I find the Starbucks band which is about two
full blocks away from the best Buy, I noticed that
there's a shiny Walmart in the corner, not just a Walmart,
a shiny Walmart, and the parking lot is jam packed,
(15:46):
and I was like, well, this must be a good Walmart.
Now I don't know about you. Well I do know
about you. You don't mind the lights inside Walmart, which
bothered me and a lot of other people. You're like,
my wife's the same way. I like a deal. I
enjoy a deal, and you get the most bang for
your bucket Walmart. And I also enjoy people watching, even
(16:07):
though I'm an introvert and I don't really like talking
to strangers. I like walking around and looking at the freaks.
It's like I'm on Fremont Street in Vague or Atlantic City,
or New Orleans or South Beach at a Walmart. It's amazing,
and these people live amongst us, Danny, It's fascinating, and
they likely look at me and say, look at that fatass.
(16:30):
He lives amongst us. Also, we all have the same thought.
We're like, Okay, these are these amazing Piet pull. How
weird they look. It was great to see Pooh. You
know there's been some weather phenomenon happening in our state
over the past couple of months. This won't surprise you.
The power went off. Oh yes, now waiting, it's kind
(16:54):
of flickering, so it's the lights are flashing. I'm wondering
if like a backup generation is gonna go on. Probably
not the best place to be inside a ghetto fied
Walmart with no lights on. That would not go so well, shit,
are people gonna start looting this place? Yeah, that's what
I was gonna ask you. Did people start grabbing shit?
(17:16):
Because they do it when the lights are on. I
can only imagine with the lights flickering and lights off
and emergency lights, they would they would have a field day.
The two minutes felt like ten minutes. Finally the lights
come back on, but it's it's kind of like a
dim light, so I'm guessing it was a backup generator.
This is the first time I can actually spend a
(17:39):
half hour inside a Walmart and not feel sick when
I leave. Oh, come on, Danny, don't be a lightweight
day and he's just lights? Who the hell cares come on.
So I went to the baby section. I found an
infant sized Dodger baby shirt, and that was my big
purchase inside that Walmart. When I got to the front,
(18:02):
the girl at the cash register, she said, I hope
the lights come back on all the way because I
think a couple of people already ran out at the
front with some merchandise. Now, let the record show I'd
paid for the baby Dodgers shirt that I got. But yeah,
it was my probably my most favorite experience inside of
(18:23):
Walmart so far in my life. Now, how much baby
stuff have you purchased, Danny, Because you've got for those.
I get email from people, give me an update. We're
not get an update on the little Danny j We're
not getting update on that. She is now twenty two
weeks pregnant, so we're over the halfway mark. Okay, the
baby is due at the very end of July, coming up.
(18:47):
That's acts. It seems like far away, but it'll be
here before you know it. Yeah, they always say think
ahead when you buy the clothes because everybody gives you
like the newborn clothes, the newborn clothes, but the baby
grows out of those imediately, so you only need a
few of those outfits. So everything I've been buying right
now are outfits that are like eighteen months and older. Okay,
(19:10):
how long do they stay in those? Untill about kindergarten?
Baby Huey pret modern pregnancy, like there were times like
women were pregnant sometimes and we still see these stories
like they don't even know they're pregnant then like the
kid will end up all right. I don't see how
that is even possible not know that there's something swimming
(19:33):
around inside your stomach, like the baby kicks and moves
all the time. You'd have to be a retard. That
was Danny g Radio. That was not me. I was daying. Okay,
you'd have to, let me rephrase, You'd have to be
very special to not know that there's something inside of
you growing. Yeah, I would tend to agree with you.
(19:57):
And maybe I'm wrong on this, But as I understand
and my recollection Danny, is that many of the people,
the ladies that have had this happen to them, let's
just say they're a little disheveled. They don't necessarily take
care of themselves, and they they've enjoyed a few hearty
meals over the years. Okay, what do they think that
that's gas inside their stomachs moving around and kicking them? Oh,
(20:21):
I need some pepto. I just got kicked. They must
have horrendous gas before they got pregnant. That's the only
logical conclusion one could make that that's that's what happened.
So yeah, because now we're at the stage where we
can finally feel the baby's kick from the outside. So
(20:43):
if I touch your stomach, I can feel the baby kick. Tibo,
slap me around a little bit. You don't know you're
getting kicked by a little baby inside of you. Yeah,
that's pretty wild. I agree with you, all right. At
turning the page show we got a little time less,
so we got a lot to get to it a
little time, which is amazing. I always think, oh, man,
we're not gonna have enough stuff for the podcast, Danny,
(21:05):
and then we always end up having too much stuff.
Why is that, Danny? Why can't we not just have
just enough stuff? Because one of the most interesting men
in the world. Yeah, sure, all right, So the backscratcher,
the backscratcher. You scratch our back, we scratch your back.
We are happy to report Danny this week I hope
you're ready. Get your nee pads ready, Danny, Are you ready?
(21:27):
I'm ready. We are going to be scratching. No one's back,
no one. We pitched a shutout, a perfect game, none,
just in time for baseball season. Yeah. We are still
eleven ratings away, eleven from a new round number that
we've gotten a lot over the years, not as many
(21:50):
as a lot of other podcasts, but we're only a
weekend podcast, eleven away from four hundred. We can do it.
We can do it. Pick it up. We need to
help on this. The Apple podcast pages in the description,
Danny and also Scott Shapiro, Don Martin give us a
gold watch for four hundred. Nice, Yeah makes gold watches.
(22:17):
Rob Parker told me that a gold watch unless he
did Unless I made that up. Pop goes the culture,
and that means ohio owoo, all right, thank you, ohio
(22:43):
ow And here some crazy pop culture related stories. Remember
that con artist that went viral because of a couple
of documentaries, The Fire Festival, Billie McFarlane, Oh yeah, I
saw that. Yeah, The Fire Festival was a great documentary.
So Billy McFarland went to jail and now he is
(23:06):
back for nearly nineteen thousand dollars. Billy McFarlane is going
to spill the tea in Germany. McFarland known as a
con man who was able to swindle more than twenty
six million dollars before he was even thirty years old,
(23:29):
and he's going to be hanging out here. In the
month of April, he'll be making an appearance at something
called the Entrepreneur University Founder's Summit in Germany, and he
intends to share his side of the fiasco and what
happened there. He owes twenty six million dollars. You imagined
(23:53):
owing twenty six million dollars. Man, I'm stressed out and
I only owe a couple of thousand dollars to credit cards.
It's ridiculous. And the way this works, he's spilling his
guts and all that. And he said the hotel, airfare
and taxes will be paid. All that will be will
(24:17):
be taken care of. For McFarlane, he'll end up out
of the nineteen thousand, he'll end up keeping two thousand,
three hundred for himself. He also has to pay seven thousand,
four hundred ninety two dollars will go towards the twenty
six million, So that'll go a long way to help
out that. The people that are owed money, what do
(24:40):
you what do they all get like a check in
the mail for three cents. Yeah, it's like when you're
part of those class action lawsuits and you end up
getting like a dollar fifty or something like that and
the lawyer ends up getting seven thousand dollars. Next up,
Peter Pop goes the culture animal rights group PETE a
second straight podcast Peter is part of. They are demanding
(25:03):
the ban on a bunch of sporting terms that we use. Danny.
They're say they're they're disrespectful sporting terms. Among them, they're
all animals sporting terms. They include worm burner. They want
that's a tennis term. I believe worm burner. They want
to get rid of that. Uh, there's all a badminton
(25:26):
players should never describe a shuttle hit hit out of
play as a dead bird their offinitive up. Oh, I
guess wormburner is a golf term. I thought it was
a tenn term, So no worm burner. They also here's
one that will warm you up. They want it was
a shuttlecock one. The uh, well, the bad mitten one.
(25:49):
They say players should never describe a shuttle cock hit
out of play as a dead bird needs to be
called dead cock. Well, yeah, you could say there goes
the cock. You could say that cockadoodle. Du that's a drop. No,
it's not, No, it is not. H And at tennis,
the hot dog shot used by Roger Federer and others,
(26:12):
where the balls hit between the player's legs, they called
the hot dog shot. Peter says it should be called
the vegan hot dog. Well, I'm not. I swear to God,
i am not. This is an actual story. Uh. And
they say that the bulls eye in darts this is
an onion story. It is not, they say. They say
(26:33):
the bulls eye and darts should be renamed, and they
are worried that anyone thinks it refers to an actual bull. Yeah.
This is the campaign from the People for the Ethical
Treatment of Animals. Peter list of sporting terms they want overhauled.
(26:54):
This is this is wonderful, this is so. This is
why nobody takes them seriously. All right, this is why
nobody takes seriously seriously ahead of a boat race. Just recently,
Peter also wrote to a British rowing outfit calling for
an end to the obscure rowing term catch a crab.
(27:14):
They want that. They want that going away. Like when
COVID and when we were on Southern California locked Down.
We got that list of approved sports and badminton was
on there, but tennis wasn't. It was so stupid. The
whole list was dumb. That's what this reminds me of
(27:38):
boxing terms that are on the list. Peter suggested they
get rid of rabbit punches. You can't have a rabbit
punch in boxing, and spinebreaker. They do not want spinebreaker
to be final. You know, they want nothing to do
with that. They said. Since throwing a rabbit punch is
already banned in boxing and other fightings sports, why not
(28:01):
retire the phrase? They claim? And I mean, this is
so stupid. And there you go, Peter pet I don't
know if it's on your list of allowed meats, but
eat a dick. Well, it turns out that Twitter's boss,
(28:22):
Elon Musk, is a full of dogshit, not literally, of course,
but it's been revealed that Twitter actually does have a
secret VIP list that Elon Musk has said he wants
to treat everyone equal. Well, not so fast, my friend.
It turns out that there is a cool kids club
(28:45):
at Twitter. I wonder if Joe Rogan's on that. You
think Joe Rogan made the cut. I don't know. I
have no idea. But there is a VIP list. This
report claims Twitter has this list. There's around thirty five
VIP users. The tweets of these individs jewels get a
boost from the algorithm if they drop. So it's the
(29:06):
way to do it. I'd heard years ago from someone
that a lot of certain sportscasters who worked at a
fledgling cable network in Connecticut, Danny were put in to
this wild and crazy algorithm where they ended up picking
up three, four or five, six, seven hundred thousand followers
(29:30):
automatically just having their name in this very special list.
And so so many people that worked at this small
cable outfit in Connecticut ended up with all these followers
because they were in on Twitter early the company they
worked for and they took care of them. Speaking of that,
did you see that Elon Musk has passed Barack Obama?
(29:52):
He is the most followed person on Twitter. Now, I
wonder how that happened. Did you see how he he
sent an email to all his employees saying you got
to show up in person at your job now. He
does not want people working from home anymore, no more.
Good luck on that. Good luck on that. Although tech
(30:13):
has cut back a lot, Facebook and the tech industry,
it's no longer the boom times in tech. Now they've
got to approve, they've got to pacify Wall Street. So
good luck on that. I'm assuming Covino and rich on
your show, Danny that you work on that they talked
(30:34):
about the serial sperm donor did that come up in
conversation this week? That didn't come up? No? Really, No, Oh,
that's a wild story. This guy has fathered five hundred
and fifty kids. Yeah, I read this story pretty creepy. Yeah.
This guy's a musician. He's a Dutch musician and one
(30:55):
of the all time great masturbaters of our time. He's
a master and just a master better around five kids.
He's forty one years old. He's donated sperm to at
least thirteen clinics, including eleven in the Netherlands. He is blacklisted.
He's been blacklisted for six years because he's he's fathered.
(31:17):
According to the Times of London, he's fathered one hundred
and two kids in the Netherlands and the guide he
lives in Kenya. Now he lives in Kenya. But they're
worried about incests because all these these kids are gonna
grow up and then they're gonna have kids, and they're
gonna start hooking up and they're not gonna realize they're
(31:38):
hooking up with their brother or their sister or their
half brother half sister. That's pretty pretty crazy, man, Yeah,
makes it creepy. How many times do you think he's
donated the U the tartar sauce to get to that
level five hundred and fifty. How many you think you
think he's gone three hundred times, two hundred times. I
(32:02):
think he's only gone like fifteen times. Will you say
to your new girlfriend, hey, baby, and it turns out
she's your baby sister? Dude? Oh, there's day new Prediction
on the Future Danny on Pop goes the culture New
Prediction on the Future. It says experts have revealed that
(32:25):
workplace is what they're gonna look like in twenty fifty,
including holographic receptionist. So you're gonna go into a dentist
office and there'll be a hologram. Welcome to the dentist's office.
You're buying that that'side of like Star Star Wars or
something like that, isn't it. It better be a hologram
of the beautiful Aliah or somebody like that. Make it
(32:49):
a singer or an actress that's passed away way too soon.
That would be cool. Yeah, would you want to be
a hologram? Danny? When you're gone? You could just live
on forever as a hologram. Brought me up against the jukebox.
When I die there you go. All right? They can
copy my voice and just the Ben Maller Show could
go on for thousands of years if they just have
(33:10):
AI use my voice, and then we just keep doing
the show and I won't be around, but there'll be
an automatic version of me or an audio recreation of
my voice. Our last one on pop goes to culture
and we'll have to push We're never gonna get rid
of you. We'll push back the scientifically. Why don't we
do that on the Sunday podcast? Is that good for you?
(33:32):
I think that Yeah, that works. I'll have a little
time on Sunday before we get to the mail bag.
So this comes from the art world. They have determined
how famous painters back in the day we're able to
create these works of art that and protect them from
(33:52):
wrinkling in humidity. And they've determined that Leonardo da Vinci,
among others, added something that we still have to this day.
We still use these a lot in the kitchen. Added
this to oil paintings. And the experts studied the effects
of adding these this item, and it turns out the
(34:15):
technique helped overcome issues with humidity, wrinkling and yellowing. That
item danny egg yolks. So Leonardo da Vinci figured out
that by adding egg yolks it would it would work.
Wonders for the painting. That's that's wild, that's in the
(34:38):
fifteen fifteen hundreds. What did he do? Did he put
it on the brush, mix it in the paint, put
it on the palette. I'm not sure exactly what he did.
I don't think they know for sure what he did,
but said adding egg yolk. Has found that it provided
stiff paints with strong imposto, being able to layer it
(35:01):
on thickly and prevented wrinkling on the surface. And try
he discovered the water uptake from human environments such as
where Da Vinci lived, can be suppressed with the egg
proteins formed a they formed a thin layer around the
particles of the paint pigment. So all right, crazy, I
(35:23):
wonder how he figured that out. You think he figured
it out on his own, or is it possible, Danny,
that alien creatures helped him out. Doo doo doo doo
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
George Nori. Yeah, all right, let's get out, Danny. Anything
you want to promote, anything at all you would like
(35:44):
to promote here, Danny, anything you want to sell sat
Or Day. Yeah, I'm actually gonna be filling in producing
today from one pm to seven pm West Coast time.
Oh that's a long shift. Yes, I'll be at the network.
Well you'll be doing that, Danny. I will not be
at the network. I will not I will be watching baseball.
(36:06):
I will be betting on baseball. I'm like Pete Rose.
I will have a wonderful time, and we thank you
for listening. I have a great rest of your day.
And don't forget new podcast coming out tomorrow. Podcast only.
This is not on radio you can only get this
on the podcast Danny nowhere else, nowhere else we'll see
and Ben, don't let any little kids fall in front
(36:29):
of your house on a sidewalk and pretend like they're
dying today, because that's the April Fools joke. Me and
my older brother used to play in our neighborhood. Oh
that was your go to I used to. What I
used to do is I used to do these fake
news stories. I take an AP wire story and I
would eat This is an email before text message. So
I would take an AP wire story of a trade
(36:50):
and then I copy and I cut the names out
of the players that were traded. I insert much bigger names.
I would then hoppy and paste the story in my email.
I would send it to people in the radio becausiness.
Can you believe the Lakers traded Shaquille O'Neil to the Clippers?
(37:11):
I can't believe it either. Here's the stories from the
AP I get these phone calls. Holy fuck, I haven't
seen that on the wire. Did that? Did they take
that off the wire? It was it on the wire?
It was in an AP news break Like, what was it?
You know? Yeah, your clippers would have actually had a
championship ring. They actually do. They have the greatest arena,
(37:31):
their building, with the most bathrooms of any arena in
the NBA. Into It Dome, Danny the Into It to Home.
But we gotta go. I gotta get congratulations on all
those toilets. Hey listen, we gotta go use the one
that we have inside our crib. You say it doesn't matter, Danny,
(37:52):
but when you gotta take a whiz, and when you
gotta take a douche, I dump rather, you're better. You're
better off at the Clippers Arena. Have a great date today.
We'll catch you next time. Osta Pasta by Felicia
Host
Ben Maller
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