April 21, 2023 • 38 mins
Ben Maller talks about the return of Fernando Tatis Jr. after an 80-game suspension for PEDs, what kind of player Tatis will be without the juice, Lame Jokes of the Week, and much more!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome. It's our n three, our three of
our show. We're hanging out here talking bays ball and
Fernando Tatis Junior, the man who claimed it was all
because of ringworm, is back in a ballpark near you
(00:21):
after a ped suspension. How does life change for Fernando
Tatis now that he's back in the big leagues? Do
you believe that Tatise has a clean slate in the
pre locker room? And what kind of player is San
Diego getting with Fernando toetis assuming he is off the
juicy Juicy. We'll talk about that and much more lame
(00:45):
jokes of the week. It's coming your way here in
a jam packed hour number three. What do you get
when you mix a diamond with needles? Huh? I'll explain well, guys,
ah Man. Not beginning of another hour of the Ben
Balor Show. We are in the air everywhere beside one another,
(01:11):
as we are sampled and approved by millions unless we
are not coast coast, border, the border and beyond on
the bast and glaringly powerful microphones of FSR emmating live
from the chair. We're in the big chair. As a
(01:31):
former FSR host, like to like to say back in
the day, we are broadcasting live from the tire rack
dot Com studios. Tyre rac dot com will help you
get there in unmatched selection, bast free shipping, free road
hazard protection, and over ten thousand recommended installers. Tireract dot
com the way tire buying should be. And we are
(01:53):
back at it here talking baseball. We go to the
Valley of the Sun. That is where our lead is.
You say, why would you bother talking about the Diamondbacks. No,
we're not going to talk about Madison Bumgardner. No we're
not doing a mala monologue on that. But there was
a notorious figure who returned to a ballpark not near you. Now,
(02:13):
if you didn't follow the story of the day for
some maybe you missed it. Do you remember the name
Fernando Tatis Junior, an infamous figure in baseball Padre's star
Fernando Tatis Junior. Well, he returned from a lengthy suspension.
(02:35):
He's back. Yeah. On Thursday, he was in the lineup.
Manager Bob Melbourne put him right there for the night
game against the Diamondbacks in Arizona. Was batting lead off
and playing out in right field. Tatise played his first
big league game since the last day of the twenty
twenty one season. He didn't play at all last year,
(02:57):
missed five hundred and sixty five total days, and in
that time he recovered from a broken wrist from a
motorcycle accident, and then he had an eighty game ped suspension.
That's what he's coming back from now. While suspended, he
had shoulder surgery and a second operation on a bad
(03:21):
wrist that was mangled in a motorcycle crash. That did
not end well for him. So as for his opening performance,
how did he doubt? Let's go to the box score.
Fernando Tatis, while we were watching basketball, had five at
bats against the Diamondbacks. And did he get two hits?
(03:42):
Three hits, four hits, two home runs? What did he do?
How about a goose egg? Who oh for five? How
many strikeouts? Not one? How about two? And this is
Fernando Tatis who was crushing the ball against minor league pitching.
But Tatis zero for five in his turned to the
majors with two strikeouts. Padres did win the game seven
(04:03):
to five over Arizona, which is starting to realize they're
not a good team and they're starting to play more
like the team they're supposed to be. But let us
discuss the question, how does life change for Fernando Totis
Junior now that he is back in the big leagues.
That he was greeted with a mix of booze and cheers.
It seemed like there were more Podre fans than Diamondback
(04:24):
fans in that game in Arizona. But I've got letterman's jacket,
court order and family business, and we'll throw all of
these things together and we are going to make heartburn,
which is what the owner of the padres has thinking
about Fernando to Tis Junior heartburn. So number on number
(04:52):
this is what's known as a soft return to the
big leagues for Fernando to TSS. Like when you open up
a restaurant, you do a soft open announce that you're
opening the restaurant because you want everyone to know where
they need to go and the cook staff and the
people that are delivering the food and the people cleaning
the tips. Like I've never owned a restaurant, but I
know enough about it. So that's Fernando Today's playing Arizona
(05:14):
on a random Thursday night with a bunch of other
stuff going on hockey and basketball playoff activity. It's not
a great litmus test. It's not a measuring stick. Fernando,
to Tease is going to face the music down the line.
That's gonna happen at places like Dodger Stadium, bigger stages
in the playoffs, assuming the Pod squad end up in
(05:37):
October Baseball. They yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but yeah,
but the yah but crowd will point out that to
Tease would have gotten booed anyway. Well, that is true.
It is also irrelevant now the boo birds, the boob berds,
the hissing, all that. It's a different song sheet. It's
(05:58):
a much higher decibel level for Tatis, harming the cells
in your inner ear. You got to get a pair
of those old Bobby Benia noise canceling earplugs. You gotta
get now. You will see the uniform is actually gonna
change for Tatise as well. He will be adding a
very special limited edition letterman's jacket and it fits a
(06:23):
little different than the regular Padre uniform. This letterman's jacket,
it's a special jacket for a steroid sheet because Tatis's
letterman's jacket has a scarlet letter on it because he
is now wearing the scarlet letter. You have it for
the rest of your career. Embrace it, Own it, cuddle
with it, make out with it, play foot seat with it,
do all of it. Enjoy the experience. You've earned it,
(06:44):
and that is your new normal. You will be shadow
boxing the steroid demoned for the rest of your baseball career.
San Diego will be a safe space. I saw somebody
went around and it was a mural painted in San
Diego to celebrate the return of Fernando Tatis from steroids.
It's great, and he'll has as many fish tacos as
(07:05):
he wants, and the Padre fans will give him a
bubble bath and a shoulder massage and the manny and
the petty and all that. Now, Patrion, do you believe
that Fernando Tatis Junior now has a clean slate in
the Padre locker room. That was the company line. That
was the talking points memo from Bob Melvin and the Padres.
(07:29):
So publicly, here's my position. Publicly, that is the way
it's going to be. Nobody will break ranks, nobody's gonna
do that. There was a fraternal order among players and
they're certainly not gonna do that now. Now, if the
Padres continue to stink, I could see somebody turning on
to tease when they're not playing well and he's not
(07:49):
carrying the water that he's supposed to carry. But there
is a fraternal order, generally speaking, a fraternal order among players.
It's the band of brothers, and they stand together suppressing
how they really feel. And think of it as a
court order and an unwritten gag order that we do
suspect will be broken. The gag order will be broken
(08:11):
sooner than later. And how will that happen? If the
tee starts monster mashing, someone will break ranks on another team.
You can only bite your tongue for so long, and
they'll be that it's not fair, he's cheating. He's still
getting the benefits of the steroids. So it'll work that
way if he's good, and if he stinks, it'll be
(08:33):
friendly fires someone from inside the San Diego locker room
that will turn on Fernando. Final point, what kind of
ballplayer is San Diego getting? What kind of player is Fernando?
To teast Junior without the juicy juicy? So the answer
is a TB date two be determined. Now we know
that some players have continued to have success. They've found
(08:57):
other means to get certain benefits from whatever they're using,
whatever kind of you know, nonsense they're using. There have
been other players that have completely vanished after getting off
the substance they were not supposed to be taking. But
we know that Tatis Junior is no longer a shortstop.
He has been replaced by Xander Bogart's the Old Red Sox,
(09:19):
and he got the big money contract to come to
Southern California. So Tatis Junior will be roaming out in
the Serengetti in right field. It is interesting to note
that the peds are the family business of the Tatise clan.
And I'm sure that the old man his father had
(09:39):
ringworm cream as well. Very popular. That ringworm cream very
very popular. Now to Tisse Junior, his father's name was
on the Natty list twenty years ago and Major League
Baseball did some steroid testing. This list was not supposed
to get out, but it did get out and buried
(09:59):
below some of the the other big names like David
Ortiz and Alex Rodriguez. Was Fernando Tatis Senior as a
steroid guy, and I saw Fernando Tatis's dad, the old
man hit two Grand slams in the same inning. And
so whatever he was taken, whether that was ringworm cream
or gobblede goog man, was it effected. So I would
(10:22):
say the apple does not fall far from the tree.
Fernando Toetis Junior is locked up in a forever contract.
We just talked about it last hour. These legacy contracts.
Fourteen year deal, three hundred and forty million, So whether
he hits fifty home runs or fifteen home runs per season,
he's locked up. He signed through the twenty thirty four season,
(10:44):
and that's when it'll be thirty five years old. He
has a full no trade clause through twenty twenty eight.
It is the longest contract in baseball history, at least
at the time they gave it out. Also the highest
average salary for a short stop at the time that
Fernando Tatis Junior signed. In other words, the Padres are
knee deep, knee deep in the ringworm cream, for better
(11:07):
or worse, that is where they are at this moment.
And boy, it would be terrible if Fernando Tatis all
of a sudden hits fifteen home runs a year and
bats two forty. That would really stink because he's got
the Razmataz. He's got the Rasmataz. It is the Ben
Mahlor Show without the Rasmataz. But if you would like
to add that, you can join us here at eight
(11:28):
seven seven ninety nine on Fox that's eight seven seven
nine nine six six three six nine. Also on Twitter
at Ben Mahlor. That's at Ben Mahllor. You can be
part of the show. Time now for the Malor Riddle
of the day, The Malor Riddle of the day, and
here we go. Arizona Cardinals wide receiver de Andre Hopkins
(11:49):
is currently waiting for a trade out of the Grand
Canyon State. He was also recently spotted on the blank.
De Andre Hopkins, the Cardinals wait for a trade out
of the state of Arizona, was spotted on the blank.
That is the malor riddle of the day. You can
answer that on my unverified Twitter account at Ben Mahler.
(12:12):
We'll get to that and we will do it megs.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Malor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Join the curious world of the Ben Malor Show online
and is pain free and easy to do. You just
follow your host on Twitter. He's at Ben Mallor and
you can tweet that and follow our technical producer. He
plays all the music and most funny soundbites of the
Ben Malor Show. He also makes sure the show is
running smoothly. If it's not, he's the man to fix it.
His first name is Roberto, his last name is Flores.
(12:46):
You can follow me a Raider Underscore Rob twenty four.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
That's the wrong Mexican man.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
At l from the tyraq dot com Fox Sports Radio Studios.
It's Ben Maller.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Rolling on jokes of the week coming up a little
bit later in the hour. Time Now for the Mallard
Riddle of the day and then back to your calls.
Here's the matter Riddle of the day. Arizona Cardinals wide
receiver DeAndre Hopkins, waiting for a trade out of Arizona,
was recently spotted on the Blank on the Blank late
(13:21):
night Drug Tester says he was seen on Press your Luck.
Bean Bootmaker Bob says he was spotted helping weed Man
look for his teeth. Who else do we have? Page down,
page down? Matt the Warrior Raider a's fan says he
was spotted on the moving van taking the athletics to
Las Vegas. Wow, that's I can't believe Matt would send
(13:43):
that Maverick going with the Grand Canyon Skywalk as the answer.
Who else do we have? Page down? Page down? Justin
in Cincinnati said something about a prostitute. He's actually in
the enchanted force now he relocated a black Steve the
Second in North Carolina he was spotted shopping at a shack,
(14:03):
some kind of a shack. Who else do we have?
Page down, page down? I can't read that. Eke and Rosalo,
Minnesota got a rite bad job by him. We'll skip
over that one. Alf the Alien Opiner says he was
spotted buying dinner for food picks at buying some chef
boy rd. What else do we have? Jerry Springer show
(14:26):
guests by Fields of Green and Scott in Rhode Island,
says he was spotted on the toilet on his phone
reading about where he may end up playing. Calvin tim
and Michigan says on the road filling in potholes, Page down,
(14:46):
page down. A guy named Fox high Wind says he
was seen on the prices right. Tom from Fullerton in
SoCal says a four to twenty cannabis binge is the
correct answer. Sir Scratchaw says that the wide receiver DeAndre
Hopkins spotted at a white castle. Eddie, do you have
an answer? A courtesy flusher says he was spotted on
(15:09):
the rack at tire rack, which is incorrect.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
He was spotted on the love boat.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
On the love boat. Oh I love that, Eddie, the
love but is it in the love boat? The correct answer.
De Andre Hopkins was spotted walking on the catwalk. He
was on the catwalk at the Hollywood Ball. They had
a fashion show and he was strolling down the runway. Okay,
(15:38):
whatever floats your boat man, knock yourself out, go do
a little runway thing. Absolutely do the pirouette, the whole deal,
the whole thing. Let's say hello to milkman. Mike in
Colorado is cashing in a golden ticket. We have lame
jokes of the week coming up later this hour. Hello milkman,
Mike cats Man.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I love you.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Man such at paypoundmail dot com, Lease stop, lease stut
come stay hiding.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Can wake up Lisa, Lisa, you gotta wake up, Lisa.
Come on, Lisa, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 6 (16:16):
My man?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Oh you sound great? Is that Lisa not a Fox?
My god? What an amazing woman.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Then I just wanted to call in real quick. I
know lately we've been talking about that lame o trash
out there in Hawaii who did not fulfill his obligation
to the militia to sacrifice his body for the show. I,
on the other hand, ran up a mountain for the show,
(16:46):
and I'm doing it again this year. And in two
weeks I'm running my first marathon at fifty one, So
I'm gonna make sure. I'm gonna make sure I'm gonna
have another sign there when I go across the line
to promote the show and everything else.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Well, I'm looking forward to it. I do appreciate the marketing.
We'll take all the marketing we can get. And what
marathon are you running in here? What's the name of
the marathon?
Speaker 5 (17:10):
It's called the Colorado Marathon. My wife's actually ran it
a few times. She's trying to qualify for Boston. What
you got a really good chance?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
What got you into this market? Your age here? You're
middle aged, man, what got you into this here?
Speaker 5 (17:25):
Actually, actually my wife did. I'm I'm on my second
marriage and finding a little quick story. My current wife
and I actually dated over twenty five years ago for
the summer and she went off to college and we
kind of lost track of each other. And about six
years ago on my birthday, we met up for drinks
(17:46):
and we've been together ever since.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I think you had more than drinks. I think that
it was a very successful birthday. Yes, all right, well listen,
congratulations Mike on that, and good luck with the marathon,
and hey, more power to you. I have walked a
marathon on I have. I have a running marr. I
don't think could run him rand I coul probably walk in.
My knees a little bad and my right knees all
messed up, but I think I could still walk it.
How hard could that?
Speaker 5 (18:08):
I don't think walking through a marathon gas station counts
as walking a marathon.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
But you know, hang.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Up on yourself. How dare you disrespect me like that?
I can't believe that though I, uh, yeah, I have
walked through marathon gas stations. I thank you, Mike, good luck.
Let's go to the Black Irishman who's in Omaha. Hello,
Black irishman. Racist, that's his name? And is he awake?
He's awake. The man's awake, he's loud, he's proud, and
(18:33):
he's in charge.
Speaker 6 (18:35):
Hey, how are you? How are you?
Speaker 1 (18:39):
If I was any better, I'd be a padre, but
not Fernando to teach Junior because he's he's a steroids.
I'd rather be Poppy in San Diegos what I'd rather be?
Did you see that? Bye? By the way, before I forget,
our friend who is in the Ukraine, I'm black irishman.
I'm trying to talk. So our friend Jay Scoop, he
(19:01):
went to a McDonald's in the Ukraine and they have
I think they called the Big Mac there, the Big Poppy.
They have a burger called the Big Poppy, which is
unless Jay Scoop is pulling my chain, this is not
This is not good news for our friends in the
Ukraine that they would have a burger named the Big Poppy.
(19:22):
That does not go well. Yeah, Black irishman, you're there,
Black irishman.
Speaker 6 (19:30):
Hey, I wasn't thinking.
Speaker 7 (19:32):
Man.
Speaker 6 (19:32):
You know how it's good to be in charge. You
are in charge, aren't you? The whole shell are you
a boss or not.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Well, I am in charge until management calls me, and
then I'm no longer in charge.
Speaker 6 (19:43):
Because I know your boy eighty he would tell you
to shut up. I don't know. I'm just kidding. I'm
just kidding, all right.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
I don't think you're kidding. I think they're like I,
much like Sigmund Freud said, there's a little truth in
every joke. I think they that.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
No, I haven't got about that bet, man, I'm the
only thing you had.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
You are, You're You're like trash in Hawaii. Trash in
Hawaii said he was gonna go down to Mount he
never did. Yeah, you've been telling me for six months.
It's fine. You're not gonna pay off the bet. I
know you're not gonna pay off the bet. That's fine,
It's okay.
Speaker 6 (20:18):
I want to tell you, man, thanks for any youngest shows.
You know. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
You're welcome. It's a life changing thing. It does it
doesn't It change your life in amazing ways.
Speaker 6 (20:28):
I want to make a point. I want to talk
about the kanse Ryos.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yes, let's talk about the Kansas City Royals. That Rick
Monday is a hell of a player for those Kansas City.
Speaker 6 (20:37):
Well, you know, you know, I'm down with mahomes and
all that, but what they should do is sin Stoga
and who else? Uh to the frecking miners. Man, bring
up homeboy that was there in the spring training and
just some speed at the top of the order because
they got a good line up.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
More importantly, black irishman, do you think that the Kansas
City Kings can beat the Golden State Warriors?
Speaker 6 (21:03):
I'm sorry, I didn't hear yet.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Do you think that the Kansas City Kings can take
down the Golden State wars.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (21:12):
Man?
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Really?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Oh, that's right, they're the Omaha Kings.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
I'm sorry, Well, why are you talking about I don't
want to talk about basketball anyway.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Oh okay, I'm sorry. I'm hijacking your call. I don't
understand why I would do that. It's a bad job
by me. Yeah. What do you drink it tonight? What
are we having tonight?
Speaker 6 (21:31):
I just drop my daughter off air of mother's house.
I'll be working at six o'clock in the morning. I
won't you.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
You know what I say, I think you should take
a nap if you have to be at work at
six o'clock in the morning and I think you need
to take a.
Speaker 6 (21:45):
Nap, hey man, than to take my car.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Get some get some sleep. Okay, all right, thank you.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
It's a weird call.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
I don't know what you're talking about it. That was
a perfectly normal fuckers. There wasn't anything odd about that
conversation at all. That was just a normal conversation. That's
just how going.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
This is Steve.
Speaker 7 (22:09):
Covino and Rich Davis, and together we are Covino and Rich.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Coveno and Rich, Thanks buddy, that's right.
Speaker 7 (22:17):
Covino on Rich, Fox Sports Radio's newest hit show, heard
weekdays from five to seven Eastern two to four Pacific
on Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app. Every Coveno
in Rich show is available as a podcasts. Just search
Covino and Rich wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe.
I'm such a rockin dude. The show features our unique
take on sports, injected with some fun, humor and relatability.
(22:39):
Listen to Covino on Rich five days a week on
the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Podcasts, Covino on Ridge, give me the hell Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
And the note from the NFL. The Dallas Cowboys have
picked up the fifth year option on wide receiver CD Lamb.
They apparently are still working on signing him to a
long term contract at some point.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
He's all right. He's not the greatest receiver they expected,
and I know they expected it to be better. He's okay.
He's not what you think of the top receivers in
the NFL. Do CEEDE Lamb's name pop up there? No,
he does not. But he's gonna get paid. That's what
it's all about. To get paid. He's gonna get paid
a ton of money. So good for him. And I
saw the Oakland A's that one of their fan groups.
(23:21):
Do these the sixty eighth of the I think they're
the ones that bang the drums, Eddie. They're done. They've
they've informed the athletics that they would like to get
their drums out of storage. The drums have stopped. The
drums have stopped for the athletics. And I don't know,
but that's the only thing that Otherwise it would just
be silence. You'd be able to hear all the conversation
in the field. But the Angels are about to become
(23:46):
the only American League team in California for the first
time since nineteen sixty seven. The Angels the only way
to watch the American Well that's that used to be true,
but now the only American League tam the Angels. But
the now everyone and plays everyone. So it's like all
the American League teams will play the Giants. But that's
gonna be meant when the when the A's move to
Vegas and they come back to play the Giants, that'll
(24:09):
be a nice welcome back, won't it that the hell,
I'm sure there'll be no A's fans that go over
there to harass the uh the the team in Vegas
when they come to town. But there you go, all right,
s Ben Malors Show on Fox. As we continue on
and we take your calls, we have lame jokes the
week coming up here in a moment. This portion of
the radio show brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Progressive
(24:30):
makes bundling easy and affordable. Get a multi policy discount
by combining your motorcycle, RV, boat, ATV and more. All
your protection in one place, but in the land save
at Progressive dot Com and we say hello to a
very angry man, angry Bill, who's hanging out in the
Sunshine State. Hello, angry Bill, So take that in your pup.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
Yeah, how you doing? Ben?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
If I was any better, I would be Bill, but
not angry Bill, because God knows I would not want
to be angry Bill.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
What are you talking about? That's not nice? Okay, forget
about that. The other day I decided I want to
stop and have a spaghetti dinner, and so I got
a little bar whate to my spaghetti dinner. I'm sitting
there watching a game because I wanted to watch a game,
and I see the odds in the baseball games flashing
across the screen. I'm saying, what the next, first time
(25:27):
I've ever seen it? I did a baseball games of
flashing across the screen. Now Oakland's going to Las Vegas.
I want Pete Rose reinstated. I wonder know why this
guy is not being reinstated when everybody else is being
a bunch of hypocrites. Explain that to me, Ben.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Okay, I'll explain it to you this way.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
There's two reasons, and I'm not condoning with I'm not
gonna and I'm not condoning with Pete. Wives did not
at all.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Okay, Okay, hold on, I'll explain. Here's what I've heard.
So the bart Giamanni thing that he died in the
middle of all that, the commissioner of baseball, and that
is like they tie those two things together. It's fair
or not. Those two things are tied together. The stress
of all that, the commissioner passed away shortly shortly around
that time. So, and then there's also the other scandal
(26:13):
that popped up involving some underage romance for Pete. That
is also a little bit of a dicey scandal that
pay And had some issues with. And Pete admitted to that.
So it's not like he can and he said he
did it. So it's a dicey deal.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
I don't you pts are in the big leagues.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
A lot, Yes, there are. They're playing. But you asked
me the question. I gave you the answer. You don't
like the answer, but I gave you the answer.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Okay. The thing with Pargi and Mahdi, the guy was
a huge cigar smoker, and there's an alcoholic okay, so
he drank himself to death, and he was out of
shape and he died and all of that.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
All of that may be true, That all may be
like you. That may be true, But it doesn't matter
that you can say all of that and you're talking
to the hand. It's irrelevant. You're an alcoholic, but we
allow you on the show.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
How do you know I'm an alcoholic.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I've heard I've heard a thing or two.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
You've heard of you have heard of thing.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
People people have told me. People have told me things.
I get emails about you. Yeah, you got.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
It'd be nice if some of them were true. No, No,
not gonna. I'm I'm working as a limo driver now, got.
I have a I have a young white guy in
the back of the car, and I have a young
black lady in the back of the car.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Congratulations, Manto. I don't want to I don't. I don't
want to hear the end of this. Thank you, though
I have a feeling this is going to go to
a place I don't want to go, So thank you.
David is in southern California. David in West Covin and
Soca Hello, David, he gone, all right, David's gone, and
(28:08):
we're gonna find that. We'll just have lame jokes for
the rest of the hour, and if you would like
to enjoy that content, you want to send jokes in
the future, we'll tell you how you can do that.
But big bangs, lame jokes of the week for the
rest of the hour, all the greatest jokes, all the
greatest singers, all the greatest one liners. We'll get you
all of that content and we will do it next
(28:29):
and get asks on Facebook. Now it's Instagram Now I
moved on.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
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the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app. Search FSR to
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Speaker 3 (28:46):
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Show at ali from the ti rack dot com, Fox
Sports Radio Studios. It's Ben Maller.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Knock Knock, Who's there? Blame? We blame Week too. It's
Big Ben's lame.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Joke of the week, and every week and about this
time the comedy club is open. It's Big Man's lame
Jokes of the week. These are jokes submitted by you, yeah,
listener generated content. We're not using some kind of AI.
These are actual human beings as far as we know
that have put these jokes together. And you're gonna laugh
(29:38):
your ass off. And if you don't laugh your ass off,
it's just people writing jokes, so who cares. It's all
in good fun. We welcome in our buddy from Miami.
Weed Man hippie. Hello, weed Man, hippie. Happy. I hope
you celebrate. It was a big day for you yesterday,
weed Man.
Speaker 6 (29:56):
Why uh what was yesday?
Speaker 1 (30:03):
It was Thursday. It was a big day. It was Thursday.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
It was four twenty man. I think we should remove
weed Man from.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
His weed Man. I mean I set you up there.
I threw it right down the middst It was knee high.
Are you no longer weed man hippie?
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Are you just a hippie?
Speaker 5 (30:24):
I don't understand.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 7 (30:32):
No, weed Man, it was it was for twenty.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Oh. Every day is for man, you know, that's for amateurs.
It's like New Year's Eve, you know. Come on, that's
kind of that's kind of true. Started what a what
a comedian? That weed man is? Okay, here we go.
(30:59):
These are actual jokes by actual listeners. If you are
what you eat. What did Lizzo want to be before
becoming a pop star?
Speaker 6 (31:07):
Yeah, that's not.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Let me, let me said the punch yet. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
She wanted to be a cake chocolate cake.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
No, she wanted to be a pop tart eddie. Come on,
that's an easy one. That's surfer Surfer. Todd the comedian
set that one in. How do you describe Lizzo's body
around It's called row Ton it is how you would say.
That's Alex from deep in the Heart of Houston and
(31:40):
deep in the heart of Texas. What is Lizzo's favorite
New York building?
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Oh boy, the Big Apple.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I don't know, No, no, no, she does not like apples.
She likes the Empire Steak Building. It's what she likes it.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
He likes chocolate.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
The Empire Steak Building is their favorite. That's Alex the cynical.
Why was Lizo mistaken for three cows? I don't know well,
she had two extra large calfs, Eddie, and that's that's
really what did it?
Speaker 6 (32:09):
Why?
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Why is Lizzo a big Steelers fan?
Speaker 3 (32:17):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Well, her favorite player used to be Ben Rothless Burger, Eddie,
she liked roth Berger. Justin, Justin and DC sent that
when in Lizzo was announce it has announced that to
keep her guests from being bored, dinner will be kept
to under three hours. Now when you visit Lizzo, Yeah,
(32:39):
that's not the joke. That's not that. No more than
thirty seconds will be allowed between mouthfuls and any violation.
What was alt and only one dessert? So make sure
make sure you get it right. She's copying a baseball
that's from Gordon in Takota. Why did Lizzo think Kevin
Durant was into her? I don't know why. Well, she
she heard he's a bus writer, so I don't know
(33:02):
what that means. That's Joe Daddy in Rono, Virginia. Coop,
you got any jokes over there? No? All right? What
do they call Lizzo in Japan? Eddiez No fat? They
call her fat? Actually that's what the college. It's not
very nice that was just Josh, just Josh in Cincinnati.
Did you hear that Lizzo is going to start her
(33:23):
own Spring football League?
Speaker 6 (33:24):
No?
Speaker 3 (33:25):
I did not?
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yes, pretty excited. She got a lot of money. Now
it's gonna be called the x l FL is what
he's gonna call it.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
That's a MOVIELFL.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Tom Tom from Fullerton sent that one in. Thank you
for that, Tom. What does Doc Mike's advice and Lizzo
have in common?
Speaker 3 (33:44):
I don't know. What do they have in common?
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Well, it turns out that neither one of them have
any sort of nutritional value, Addie, no nutritional value at all.
All right, did you hear that they'll call the athletics
what they're gonna call the athletics when they moved to
to Vegas?
Speaker 6 (34:01):
Not?
Speaker 3 (34:02):
What are they gonna call him?
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yeah, they're they're they're so bad, they're gonna call them
the Las Vegas Royal Flush is what they're going to
call them. Man, that's how better. That's up. Brendan from
Boston sent that one in. Why was no one surprised
when Draymond Green stepped on Demonte Simonis's chest?
Speaker 3 (34:18):
I don't know why was nobody surprised?
Speaker 1 (34:20):
He's always been a heel. Come on, ed, he's always
been a heel. That's that's what you do. That's just
Josh in since and that he Uh, did you hear
that oj Simpson gave Max Scherzer some advice.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
No, I didn't hear that.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yeah, he told him to hire Johnny Cochran and say
the glove wasn't his. That's what he told him. So
that's Alex.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Might be kind of hard to hire Johnny at this point.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Well, with AI, you could probably hire him, you know,
the advanced technology. What do weed Man and Lizzo have
in common?
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Oh, my gosh, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Actually, you have something in common. Neither one of you
would pass up a free meal, So there is that
you have that kind of that's in Roseville, Minnesota. How
did weed Man celebrate tax Day?
Speaker 3 (35:06):
I don't know how to celebrate?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
He claimed himself as a dependent. Have you have you
found your teeth yet? Weed Man?
Speaker 6 (35:19):
No?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Is Lisa there? She's not there? All right? What does
weed man?
Speaker 3 (35:25):
He does nothing else to do? He could just look
for him all day and he still can't stuff there?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
What does weed Man use when he needs to prepare
a big meal for his guests?
Speaker 3 (35:35):
I don't know. What does he use.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
A mouse trap? That's a great joke. That's Alex the
Cidical who said that with In from Houston. What do
weed Man's figure and Justin in Cincinnati's dating life have
in common?
Speaker 3 (36:03):
They both look like a one.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Well, they're both looking real slim at this point there. Yeah,
it's just Josh. What is weed Man's favorite book? He
really is into books. What is his favorite book?
Speaker 3 (36:14):
I don't know?
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Of Mice and Men Eddie's again, any jokes over there? Coop?
I sent you for you and it was look good?
Speaker 8 (36:25):
No, I found some I found something from last week.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Tell me about that.
Speaker 8 (36:30):
Since we're doing the weed Man roast, how do you
know that weed Man's kid is adopted?
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 8 (36:36):
I don't know, because even a sperm refuses to work.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Hell week?
Speaker 3 (36:43):
Did you? It's still funny though?
Speaker 4 (36:46):
Okay, I got Harvard.
Speaker 8 (36:49):
He must have sent you.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
It's not your son.
Speaker 8 (36:52):
He must have sent you these, uh, these jokes. Since
I wasn't here yet.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Where would this is? This is a good joke. Where
would weed Man sit at a Marlins game?
Speaker 3 (37:01):
I don't know where.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Section eight that's from Eke and Roseviellt, Minnesota. What's the
only thing more embarrassing than a grown man inside Chuck
E Cheese? I don't know, living in the dumpster behind
Chuck E Cheese like weed Man, I don't think you
(37:27):
appreciated that for Did you hear weed Man hippie has
been taking days off from begging.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
No, I didn't hear that.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Yeah, he's a fan of Kawhi load management, is what
he said. Why is weed Man feeling so good about himself?
Speaker 3 (37:45):
I don't know. Why would you be doing that?
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Well, because the credit card keeps telling him he's outstanding,
and so he's a credit cards telling him that, Yeah,
that's justin in d C. When when does credit when
credit card companies call we man to report suspicious activity
on his account, I don't know when. Yeah, well apparently
someone actually made a payment, so they were they thought
(38:07):
it was they thought something was wrong. The same joke
of the week that was justin and DC. Thank you all.
Hang up, we men
Hello and welcome. It's our n three, our three of
our show. We're hanging out here talking bays ball and
Fernando Tatis Junior, the man who claimed it was all
because of ringworm, is back in a ballpark near you
(00:21):
after a ped suspension. How does life change for Fernando
Tatis now that he's back in the big leagues? Do
you believe that Tatise has a clean slate in the
pre locker room? And what kind of player is San
Diego getting with Fernando toetis assuming he is off the
juicy Juicy. We'll talk about that and much more lame
(00:45):
jokes of the week. It's coming your way here in
a jam packed hour number three. What do you get
when you mix a diamond with needles? Huh? I'll explain well, guys,
ah Man. Not beginning of another hour of the Ben
Balor Show. We are in the air everywhere beside one another,
(01:11):
as we are sampled and approved by millions unless we
are not coast coast, border, the border and beyond on
the bast and glaringly powerful microphones of FSR emmating live
from the chair. We're in the big chair. As a
(01:31):
former FSR host, like to like to say back in
the day, we are broadcasting live from the tire rack
dot Com studios. Tyre rac dot com will help you
get there in unmatched selection, bast free shipping, free road
hazard protection, and over ten thousand recommended installers. Tireract dot
com the way tire buying should be. And we are
(01:53):
back at it here talking baseball. We go to the
Valley of the Sun. That is where our lead is.
You say, why would you bother talking about the Diamondbacks. No,
we're not going to talk about Madison Bumgardner. No we're
not doing a mala monologue on that. But there was
a notorious figure who returned to a ballpark not near you. Now,
(02:13):
if you didn't follow the story of the day for
some maybe you missed it. Do you remember the name
Fernando Tatis Junior, an infamous figure in baseball Padre's star
Fernando Tatis Junior. Well, he returned from a lengthy suspension.
(02:35):
He's back. Yeah. On Thursday, he was in the lineup.
Manager Bob Melbourne put him right there for the night
game against the Diamondbacks in Arizona. Was batting lead off
and playing out in right field. Tatise played his first
big league game since the last day of the twenty
twenty one season. He didn't play at all last year,
(02:57):
missed five hundred and sixty five total days, and in
that time he recovered from a broken wrist from a
motorcycle accident, and then he had an eighty game ped suspension.
That's what he's coming back from now. While suspended, he
had shoulder surgery and a second operation on a bad
(03:21):
wrist that was mangled in a motorcycle crash. That did
not end well for him. So as for his opening performance,
how did he doubt? Let's go to the box score.
Fernando Tatis, while we were watching basketball, had five at
bats against the Diamondbacks. And did he get two hits?
(03:42):
Three hits, four hits, two home runs? What did he do?
How about a goose egg? Who oh for five? How
many strikeouts? Not one? How about two? And this is
Fernando Tatis who was crushing the ball against minor league pitching.
But Tatis zero for five in his turned to the
majors with two strikeouts. Padres did win the game seven
(04:03):
to five over Arizona, which is starting to realize they're
not a good team and they're starting to play more
like the team they're supposed to be. But let us
discuss the question, how does life change for Fernando Totis
Junior now that he is back in the big leagues.
That he was greeted with a mix of booze and cheers.
It seemed like there were more Podre fans than Diamondback
(04:24):
fans in that game in Arizona. But I've got letterman's jacket,
court order and family business, and we'll throw all of
these things together and we are going to make heartburn,
which is what the owner of the padres has thinking
about Fernando to Tis Junior heartburn. So number on number
(04:52):
this is what's known as a soft return to the
big leagues for Fernando to TSS. Like when you open up
a restaurant, you do a soft open announce that you're
opening the restaurant because you want everyone to know where
they need to go and the cook staff and the
people that are delivering the food and the people cleaning
the tips. Like I've never owned a restaurant, but I
know enough about it. So that's Fernando Today's playing Arizona
(05:14):
on a random Thursday night with a bunch of other
stuff going on hockey and basketball playoff activity. It's not
a great litmus test. It's not a measuring stick. Fernando,
to Tease is going to face the music down the line.
That's gonna happen at places like Dodger Stadium, bigger stages
in the playoffs, assuming the Pod squad end up in
(05:37):
October Baseball. They yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but yeah,
but the yah but crowd will point out that to
Tease would have gotten booed anyway. Well, that is true.
It is also irrelevant now the boo birds, the boob berds,
the hissing, all that. It's a different song sheet. It's
(05:58):
a much higher decibel level for Tatis, harming the cells
in your inner ear. You got to get a pair
of those old Bobby Benia noise canceling earplugs. You gotta
get now. You will see the uniform is actually gonna
change for Tatise as well. He will be adding a
very special limited edition letterman's jacket and it fits a
(06:23):
little different than the regular Padre uniform. This letterman's jacket,
it's a special jacket for a steroid sheet because Tatis's
letterman's jacket has a scarlet letter on it because he
is now wearing the scarlet letter. You have it for
the rest of your career. Embrace it, Own it, cuddle
with it, make out with it, play foot seat with it,
do all of it. Enjoy the experience. You've earned it,
(06:44):
and that is your new normal. You will be shadow
boxing the steroid demoned for the rest of your baseball career.
San Diego will be a safe space. I saw somebody
went around and it was a mural painted in San
Diego to celebrate the return of Fernando Tatis from steroids.
It's great, and he'll has as many fish tacos as
(07:05):
he wants, and the Padre fans will give him a
bubble bath and a shoulder massage and the manny and
the petty and all that. Now, Patrion, do you believe
that Fernando Tatis Junior now has a clean slate in
the Padre locker room. That was the company line. That
was the talking points memo from Bob Melvin and the Padres.
(07:29):
So publicly, here's my position. Publicly, that is the way
it's going to be. Nobody will break ranks, nobody's gonna
do that. There was a fraternal order among players and
they're certainly not gonna do that now. Now, if the
Padres continue to stink, I could see somebody turning on
to tease when they're not playing well and he's not
(07:49):
carrying the water that he's supposed to carry. But there
is a fraternal order, generally speaking, a fraternal order among players.
It's the band of brothers, and they stand together suppressing
how they really feel. And think of it as a
court order and an unwritten gag order that we do
suspect will be broken. The gag order will be broken
(08:11):
sooner than later. And how will that happen? If the
tee starts monster mashing, someone will break ranks on another team.
You can only bite your tongue for so long, and
they'll be that it's not fair, he's cheating. He's still
getting the benefits of the steroids. So it'll work that
way if he's good, and if he stinks, it'll be
(08:33):
friendly fires someone from inside the San Diego locker room
that will turn on Fernando. Final point, what kind of
ballplayer is San Diego getting? What kind of player is Fernando?
To teast Junior without the juicy juicy? So the answer
is a TB date two be determined. Now we know
that some players have continued to have success. They've found
(08:57):
other means to get certain benefits from whatever they're using,
whatever kind of you know, nonsense they're using. There have
been other players that have completely vanished after getting off
the substance they were not supposed to be taking. But
we know that Tatis Junior is no longer a shortstop.
He has been replaced by Xander Bogart's the Old Red Sox,
(09:19):
and he got the big money contract to come to
Southern California. So Tatis Junior will be roaming out in
the Serengetti in right field. It is interesting to note
that the peds are the family business of the Tatise clan.
And I'm sure that the old man his father had
(09:39):
ringworm cream as well. Very popular. That ringworm cream very
very popular. Now to Tisse Junior, his father's name was
on the Natty list twenty years ago and Major League
Baseball did some steroid testing. This list was not supposed
to get out, but it did get out and buried
(09:59):
below some of the the other big names like David
Ortiz and Alex Rodriguez. Was Fernando Tatis Senior as a
steroid guy, and I saw Fernando Tatis's dad, the old
man hit two Grand slams in the same inning. And
so whatever he was taken, whether that was ringworm cream
or gobblede goog man, was it effected. So I would
(10:22):
say the apple does not fall far from the tree.
Fernando Toetis Junior is locked up in a forever contract.
We just talked about it last hour. These legacy contracts.
Fourteen year deal, three hundred and forty million, So whether
he hits fifty home runs or fifteen home runs per season,
he's locked up. He signed through the twenty thirty four season,
(10:44):
and that's when it'll be thirty five years old. He
has a full no trade clause through twenty twenty eight.
It is the longest contract in baseball history, at least
at the time they gave it out. Also the highest
average salary for a short stop at the time that
Fernando Tatis Junior signed. In other words, the Padres are
knee deep, knee deep in the ringworm cream, for better
(11:07):
or worse, that is where they are at this moment.
And boy, it would be terrible if Fernando Tatis all
of a sudden hits fifteen home runs a year and
bats two forty. That would really stink because he's got
the Razmataz. He's got the Rasmataz. It is the Ben
Mahlor Show without the Rasmataz. But if you would like
to add that, you can join us here at eight
(11:28):
seven seven ninety nine on Fox that's eight seven seven
nine nine six six three six nine. Also on Twitter
at Ben Mahlor. That's at Ben Mahllor. You can be
part of the show. Time now for the Malor Riddle
of the day, The Malor Riddle of the day, and
here we go. Arizona Cardinals wide receiver de Andre Hopkins
(11:49):
is currently waiting for a trade out of the Grand
Canyon State. He was also recently spotted on the blank.
De Andre Hopkins, the Cardinals wait for a trade out
of the state of Arizona, was spotted on the blank.
That is the malor riddle of the day. You can
answer that on my unverified Twitter account at Ben Mahler.
(12:12):
We'll get to that and we will do it megs.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Malor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Join the curious world of the Ben Malor Show online
and is pain free and easy to do. You just
follow your host on Twitter. He's at Ben Mallor and
you can tweet that and follow our technical producer. He
plays all the music and most funny soundbites of the
Ben Malor Show. He also makes sure the show is
running smoothly. If it's not, he's the man to fix it.
His first name is Roberto, his last name is Flores.
(12:46):
You can follow me a Raider Underscore Rob twenty four.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
That's the wrong Mexican man.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
At l from the tyraq dot com Fox Sports Radio Studios.
It's Ben Maller.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Rolling on jokes of the week coming up a little
bit later in the hour. Time Now for the Mallard
Riddle of the day and then back to your calls.
Here's the matter Riddle of the day. Arizona Cardinals wide
receiver DeAndre Hopkins, waiting for a trade out of Arizona,
was recently spotted on the Blank on the Blank late
(13:21):
night Drug Tester says he was seen on Press your Luck.
Bean Bootmaker Bob says he was spotted helping weed Man
look for his teeth. Who else do we have? Page down,
page down? Matt the Warrior Raider a's fan says he
was spotted on the moving van taking the athletics to
Las Vegas. Wow, that's I can't believe Matt would send
(13:43):
that Maverick going with the Grand Canyon Skywalk as the answer.
Who else do we have? Page down? Page down? Justin
in Cincinnati said something about a prostitute. He's actually in
the enchanted force now he relocated a black Steve the
Second in North Carolina he was spotted shopping at a shack,
(14:03):
some kind of a shack. Who else do we have?
Page down, page down? I can't read that. Eke and Rosalo,
Minnesota got a rite bad job by him. We'll skip
over that one. Alf the Alien Opiner says he was
spotted buying dinner for food picks at buying some chef
boy rd. What else do we have? Jerry Springer show
(14:26):
guests by Fields of Green and Scott in Rhode Island,
says he was spotted on the toilet on his phone
reading about where he may end up playing. Calvin tim
and Michigan says on the road filling in potholes, Page down,
(14:46):
page down. A guy named Fox high Wind says he
was seen on the prices right. Tom from Fullerton in
SoCal says a four to twenty cannabis binge is the
correct answer. Sir Scratchaw says that the wide receiver DeAndre
Hopkins spotted at a white castle. Eddie, do you have
an answer? A courtesy flusher says he was spotted on
(15:09):
the rack at tire rack, which is incorrect.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
He was spotted on the love boat.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
On the love boat. Oh I love that, Eddie, the
love but is it in the love boat? The correct answer.
De Andre Hopkins was spotted walking on the catwalk. He
was on the catwalk at the Hollywood Ball. They had
a fashion show and he was strolling down the runway. Okay,
(15:38):
whatever floats your boat man, knock yourself out, go do
a little runway thing. Absolutely do the pirouette, the whole deal,
the whole thing. Let's say hello to milkman. Mike in
Colorado is cashing in a golden ticket. We have lame
jokes of the week coming up later this hour. Hello milkman,
Mike cats Man.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I love you.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Man such at paypoundmail dot com, Lease stop, lease stut
come stay hiding.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Can wake up Lisa, Lisa, you gotta wake up, Lisa.
Come on, Lisa, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 6 (16:16):
My man?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Oh you sound great? Is that Lisa not a Fox?
My god? What an amazing woman.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Then I just wanted to call in real quick. I
know lately we've been talking about that lame o trash
out there in Hawaii who did not fulfill his obligation
to the militia to sacrifice his body for the show. I,
on the other hand, ran up a mountain for the show,
(16:46):
and I'm doing it again this year. And in two
weeks I'm running my first marathon at fifty one, So
I'm gonna make sure. I'm gonna make sure I'm gonna
have another sign there when I go across the line
to promote the show and everything else.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Well, I'm looking forward to it. I do appreciate the marketing.
We'll take all the marketing we can get. And what
marathon are you running in here? What's the name of
the marathon?
Speaker 5 (17:10):
It's called the Colorado Marathon. My wife's actually ran it
a few times. She's trying to qualify for Boston. What
you got a really good chance?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
What got you into this market? Your age here? You're
middle aged, man, what got you into this here?
Speaker 5 (17:25):
Actually, actually my wife did. I'm I'm on my second
marriage and finding a little quick story. My current wife
and I actually dated over twenty five years ago for
the summer and she went off to college and we
kind of lost track of each other. And about six
years ago on my birthday, we met up for drinks
(17:46):
and we've been together ever since.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I think you had more than drinks. I think that
it was a very successful birthday. Yes, all right, well listen,
congratulations Mike on that, and good luck with the marathon,
and hey, more power to you. I have walked a
marathon on I have. I have a running marr. I
don't think could run him rand I coul probably walk in.
My knees a little bad and my right knees all
messed up, but I think I could still walk it.
How hard could that?
Speaker 5 (18:08):
I don't think walking through a marathon gas station counts
as walking a marathon.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
But you know, hang.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Up on yourself. How dare you disrespect me like that?
I can't believe that though I, uh, yeah, I have
walked through marathon gas stations. I thank you, Mike, good luck.
Let's go to the Black Irishman who's in Omaha. Hello,
Black irishman. Racist, that's his name? And is he awake?
He's awake. The man's awake, he's loud, he's proud, and
(18:33):
he's in charge.
Speaker 6 (18:35):
Hey, how are you? How are you?
Speaker 1 (18:39):
If I was any better, I'd be a padre, but
not Fernando to teach Junior because he's he's a steroids.
I'd rather be Poppy in San Diegos what I'd rather be?
Did you see that? Bye? By the way, before I forget,
our friend who is in the Ukraine, I'm black irishman.
I'm trying to talk. So our friend Jay Scoop, he
(19:01):
went to a McDonald's in the Ukraine and they have
I think they called the Big Mac there, the Big Poppy.
They have a burger called the Big Poppy, which is
unless Jay Scoop is pulling my chain, this is not
This is not good news for our friends in the
Ukraine that they would have a burger named the Big Poppy.
(19:22):
That does not go well. Yeah, Black irishman, you're there,
Black irishman.
Speaker 6 (19:30):
Hey, I wasn't thinking.
Speaker 7 (19:32):
Man.
Speaker 6 (19:32):
You know how it's good to be in charge. You
are in charge, aren't you? The whole shell are you
a boss or not.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Well, I am in charge until management calls me, and
then I'm no longer in charge.
Speaker 6 (19:43):
Because I know your boy eighty he would tell you
to shut up. I don't know. I'm just kidding. I'm
just kidding, all right.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
I don't think you're kidding. I think they're like I,
much like Sigmund Freud said, there's a little truth in
every joke. I think they that.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
No, I haven't got about that bet, man, I'm the
only thing you had.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
You are, You're You're like trash in Hawaii. Trash in
Hawaii said he was gonna go down to Mount he
never did. Yeah, you've been telling me for six months.
It's fine. You're not gonna pay off the bet. I
know you're not gonna pay off the bet. That's fine,
It's okay.
Speaker 6 (20:18):
I want to tell you, man, thanks for any youngest shows.
You know. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
You're welcome. It's a life changing thing. It does it
doesn't It change your life in amazing ways.
Speaker 6 (20:28):
I want to make a point. I want to talk
about the kanse Ryos.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yes, let's talk about the Kansas City Royals. That Rick
Monday is a hell of a player for those Kansas City.
Speaker 6 (20:37):
Well, you know, you know, I'm down with mahomes and
all that, but what they should do is sin Stoga
and who else? Uh to the frecking miners. Man, bring
up homeboy that was there in the spring training and
just some speed at the top of the order because
they got a good line up.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
More importantly, black irishman, do you think that the Kansas
City Kings can beat the Golden State Warriors?
Speaker 6 (21:03):
I'm sorry, I didn't hear yet.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Do you think that the Kansas City Kings can take
down the Golden State wars.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (21:12):
Man?
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Really?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Oh, that's right, they're the Omaha Kings.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
I'm sorry, Well, why are you talking about I don't
want to talk about basketball anyway.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Oh okay, I'm sorry. I'm hijacking your call. I don't
understand why I would do that. It's a bad job
by me. Yeah. What do you drink it tonight? What
are we having tonight?
Speaker 6 (21:31):
I just drop my daughter off air of mother's house.
I'll be working at six o'clock in the morning. I
won't you.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
You know what I say, I think you should take
a nap if you have to be at work at
six o'clock in the morning and I think you need
to take a.
Speaker 6 (21:45):
Nap, hey man, than to take my car.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Get some get some sleep. Okay, all right, thank you.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
It's a weird call.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
I don't know what you're talking about it. That was
a perfectly normal fuckers. There wasn't anything odd about that
conversation at all. That was just a normal conversation. That's
just how going.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
This is Steve.
Speaker 7 (22:09):
Covino and Rich Davis, and together we are Covino and Rich.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Coveno and Rich, Thanks buddy, that's right.
Speaker 7 (22:17):
Covino on Rich, Fox Sports Radio's newest hit show, heard
weekdays from five to seven Eastern two to four Pacific
on Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app. Every Coveno
in Rich show is available as a podcasts. Just search
Covino and Rich wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe.
I'm such a rockin dude. The show features our unique
take on sports, injected with some fun, humor and relatability.
(22:39):
Listen to Covino on Rich five days a week on
the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Podcasts, Covino on Ridge, give me the hell Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
And the note from the NFL. The Dallas Cowboys have
picked up the fifth year option on wide receiver CD Lamb.
They apparently are still working on signing him to a
long term contract at some point.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
He's all right. He's not the greatest receiver they expected,
and I know they expected it to be better. He's okay.
He's not what you think of the top receivers in
the NFL. Do CEEDE Lamb's name pop up there? No,
he does not. But he's gonna get paid. That's what
it's all about. To get paid. He's gonna get paid
a ton of money. So good for him. And I
saw the Oakland A's that one of their fan groups.
(23:21):
Do these the sixty eighth of the I think they're
the ones that bang the drums, Eddie. They're done. They've
they've informed the athletics that they would like to get
their drums out of storage. The drums have stopped. The
drums have stopped for the athletics. And I don't know,
but that's the only thing that Otherwise it would just
be silence. You'd be able to hear all the conversation
in the field. But the Angels are about to become
(23:46):
the only American League team in California for the first
time since nineteen sixty seven. The Angels the only way
to watch the American Well that's that used to be true,
but now the only American League tam the Angels. But
the now everyone and plays everyone. So it's like all
the American League teams will play the Giants. But that's
gonna be meant when the when the A's move to
Vegas and they come back to play the Giants, that'll
(24:09):
be a nice welcome back, won't it that the hell,
I'm sure there'll be no A's fans that go over
there to harass the uh the the team in Vegas
when they come to town. But there you go, all right,
s Ben Malors Show on Fox. As we continue on
and we take your calls, we have lame jokes the
week coming up here in a moment. This portion of
the radio show brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Progressive
(24:30):
makes bundling easy and affordable. Get a multi policy discount
by combining your motorcycle, RV, boat, ATV and more. All
your protection in one place, but in the land save
at Progressive dot Com and we say hello to a
very angry man, angry Bill, who's hanging out in the
Sunshine State. Hello, angry Bill, So take that in your pup.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
Yeah, how you doing? Ben?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
If I was any better, I would be Bill, but
not angry Bill, because God knows I would not want
to be angry Bill.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
What are you talking about? That's not nice? Okay, forget
about that. The other day I decided I want to
stop and have a spaghetti dinner, and so I got
a little bar whate to my spaghetti dinner. I'm sitting
there watching a game because I wanted to watch a game,
and I see the odds in the baseball games flashing
across the screen. I'm saying, what the next, first time
(25:27):
I've ever seen it? I did a baseball games of
flashing across the screen. Now Oakland's going to Las Vegas.
I want Pete Rose reinstated. I wonder know why this
guy is not being reinstated when everybody else is being
a bunch of hypocrites. Explain that to me, Ben.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Okay, I'll explain it to you this way.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
There's two reasons, and I'm not condoning with I'm not
gonna and I'm not condoning with Pete. Wives did not
at all.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Okay, Okay, hold on, I'll explain. Here's what I've heard.
So the bart Giamanni thing that he died in the
middle of all that, the commissioner of baseball, and that
is like they tie those two things together. It's fair
or not. Those two things are tied together. The stress
of all that, the commissioner passed away shortly shortly around
that time. So, and then there's also the other scandal
(26:13):
that popped up involving some underage romance for Pete. That
is also a little bit of a dicey scandal that
pay And had some issues with. And Pete admitted to that.
So it's not like he can and he said he
did it. So it's a dicey deal.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
I don't you pts are in the big leagues.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
A lot, Yes, there are. They're playing. But you asked
me the question. I gave you the answer. You don't
like the answer, but I gave you the answer.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Okay. The thing with Pargi and Mahdi, the guy was
a huge cigar smoker, and there's an alcoholic okay, so
he drank himself to death, and he was out of
shape and he died and all of that.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
All of that may be true, That all may be
like you. That may be true, But it doesn't matter
that you can say all of that and you're talking
to the hand. It's irrelevant. You're an alcoholic, but we
allow you on the show.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
How do you know I'm an alcoholic.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I've heard I've heard a thing or two.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
You've heard of you have heard of thing.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
People people have told me. People have told me things.
I get emails about you. Yeah, you got.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
It'd be nice if some of them were true. No, No,
not gonna. I'm I'm working as a limo driver now, got.
I have a I have a young white guy in
the back of the car, and I have a young
black lady in the back of the car.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Congratulations, Manto. I don't want to I don't. I don't
want to hear the end of this. Thank you, though
I have a feeling this is going to go to
a place I don't want to go, So thank you.
David is in southern California. David in West Covin and
Soca Hello, David, he gone, all right, David's gone, and
(28:08):
we're gonna find that. We'll just have lame jokes for
the rest of the hour, and if you would like
to enjoy that content, you want to send jokes in
the future, we'll tell you how you can do that.
But big bangs, lame jokes of the week for the
rest of the hour, all the greatest jokes, all the
greatest singers, all the greatest one liners. We'll get you
all of that content and we will do it next
(28:29):
and get asks on Facebook. Now it's Instagram Now I
moved on.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app. Search FSR to
listen live calling.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
All Malar Militia foot soldiers. We need your helping hand
to gain new recruits by posting and tagging Malord Show
related content on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and all social networks.
You are the special ingredient needed to influence others to
join our mysterious nocturnal platoon known as the Ben Mallor
Show at ali from the ti rack dot com, Fox
Sports Radio Studios. It's Ben Maller.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Knock Knock, Who's there? Blame? We blame Week too. It's
Big Ben's lame.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Joke of the week, and every week and about this
time the comedy club is open. It's Big Man's lame
Jokes of the week. These are jokes submitted by you, yeah,
listener generated content. We're not using some kind of AI.
These are actual human beings as far as we know
that have put these jokes together. And you're gonna laugh
(29:38):
your ass off. And if you don't laugh your ass off,
it's just people writing jokes, so who cares. It's all
in good fun. We welcome in our buddy from Miami.
Weed Man hippie. Hello, weed Man, hippie. Happy. I hope
you celebrate. It was a big day for you yesterday,
weed Man.
Speaker 6 (29:56):
Why uh what was yesday?
Speaker 1 (30:03):
It was Thursday. It was a big day. It was Thursday.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
It was four twenty man. I think we should remove
weed Man from.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
His weed Man. I mean I set you up there.
I threw it right down the middst It was knee high.
Are you no longer weed man hippie?
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Are you just a hippie?
Speaker 5 (30:24):
I don't understand.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 7 (30:32):
No, weed Man, it was it was for twenty.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Oh. Every day is for man, you know, that's for amateurs.
It's like New Year's Eve, you know. Come on, that's
kind of that's kind of true. Started what a what
a comedian? That weed man is? Okay, here we go.
(30:59):
These are actual jokes by actual listeners. If you are
what you eat. What did Lizzo want to be before
becoming a pop star?
Speaker 6 (31:07):
Yeah, that's not.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Let me, let me said the punch yet. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
She wanted to be a cake chocolate cake.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
No, she wanted to be a pop tart eddie. Come on,
that's an easy one. That's surfer Surfer. Todd the comedian
set that one in. How do you describe Lizzo's body
around It's called row Ton it is how you would say.
That's Alex from deep in the Heart of Houston and
(31:40):
deep in the heart of Texas. What is Lizzo's favorite
New York building?
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Oh boy, the Big Apple.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I don't know, No, no, no, she does not like apples.
She likes the Empire Steak Building. It's what she likes it.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
He likes chocolate.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
The Empire Steak Building is their favorite. That's Alex the cynical.
Why was Lizo mistaken for three cows? I don't know well,
she had two extra large calfs, Eddie, and that's that's
really what did it?
Speaker 6 (32:09):
Why?
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Why is Lizzo a big Steelers fan?
Speaker 3 (32:17):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Well, her favorite player used to be Ben Rothless Burger, Eddie,
she liked roth Berger. Justin, Justin and DC sent that
when in Lizzo was announce it has announced that to
keep her guests from being bored, dinner will be kept
to under three hours. Now when you visit Lizzo, Yeah,
(32:39):
that's not the joke. That's not that. No more than
thirty seconds will be allowed between mouthfuls and any violation.
What was alt and only one dessert? So make sure
make sure you get it right. She's copying a baseball
that's from Gordon in Takota. Why did Lizzo think Kevin
Durant was into her? I don't know why. Well, she
she heard he's a bus writer, so I don't know
(33:02):
what that means. That's Joe Daddy in Rono, Virginia. Coop,
you got any jokes over there? No? All right? What
do they call Lizzo in Japan? Eddiez No fat? They
call her fat? Actually that's what the college. It's not
very nice that was just Josh, just Josh in Cincinnati.
Did you hear that Lizzo is going to start her
(33:23):
own Spring football League?
Speaker 6 (33:24):
No?
Speaker 3 (33:25):
I did not?
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yes, pretty excited. She got a lot of money. Now
it's gonna be called the x l FL is what
he's gonna call it.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
That's a MOVIELFL.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Tom Tom from Fullerton sent that one in. Thank you
for that, Tom. What does Doc Mike's advice and Lizzo
have in common?
Speaker 3 (33:44):
I don't know. What do they have in common?
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Well, it turns out that neither one of them have
any sort of nutritional value, Addie, no nutritional value at all.
All right, did you hear that they'll call the athletics
what they're gonna call the athletics when they moved to
to Vegas?
Speaker 6 (34:01):
Not?
Speaker 3 (34:02):
What are they gonna call him?
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yeah, they're they're they're so bad, they're gonna call them
the Las Vegas Royal Flush is what they're going to
call them. Man, that's how better. That's up. Brendan from
Boston sent that one in. Why was no one surprised
when Draymond Green stepped on Demonte Simonis's chest?
Speaker 3 (34:18):
I don't know why was nobody surprised?
Speaker 1 (34:20):
He's always been a heel. Come on, ed, he's always
been a heel. That's that's what you do. That's just
Josh in since and that he Uh, did you hear
that oj Simpson gave Max Scherzer some advice.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
No, I didn't hear that.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yeah, he told him to hire Johnny Cochran and say
the glove wasn't his. That's what he told him. So
that's Alex.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Might be kind of hard to hire Johnny at this point.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Well, with AI, you could probably hire him, you know,
the advanced technology. What do weed Man and Lizzo have
in common?
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Oh, my gosh, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Actually, you have something in common. Neither one of you
would pass up a free meal, So there is that
you have that kind of that's in Roseville, Minnesota. How
did weed Man celebrate tax Day?
Speaker 3 (35:06):
I don't know how to celebrate?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
He claimed himself as a dependent. Have you have you
found your teeth yet? Weed Man?
Speaker 6 (35:19):
No?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Is Lisa there? She's not there? All right? What does
weed man?
Speaker 3 (35:25):
He does nothing else to do? He could just look
for him all day and he still can't stuff there?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
What does weed Man use when he needs to prepare
a big meal for his guests?
Speaker 3 (35:35):
I don't know. What does he use.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
A mouse trap? That's a great joke. That's Alex the
Cidical who said that with In from Houston. What do
weed Man's figure and Justin in Cincinnati's dating life have
in common?
Speaker 3 (36:03):
They both look like a one.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Well, they're both looking real slim at this point there. Yeah,
it's just Josh. What is weed Man's favorite book? He
really is into books. What is his favorite book?
Speaker 3 (36:14):
I don't know?
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Of Mice and Men Eddie's again, any jokes over there? Coop?
I sent you for you and it was look good?
Speaker 8 (36:25):
No, I found some I found something from last week.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Tell me about that.
Speaker 8 (36:30):
Since we're doing the weed Man roast, how do you
know that weed Man's kid is adopted?
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 8 (36:36):
I don't know, because even a sperm refuses to work.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Hell week?
Speaker 3 (36:43):
Did you? It's still funny though?
Speaker 4 (36:46):
Okay, I got Harvard.
Speaker 8 (36:49):
He must have sent you.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
It's not your son.
Speaker 8 (36:52):
He must have sent you these, uh, these jokes. Since
I wasn't here yet.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Where would this is? This is a good joke. Where
would weed Man sit at a Marlins game?
Speaker 3 (37:01):
I don't know where.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Section eight that's from Eke and Roseviellt, Minnesota. What's the
only thing more embarrassing than a grown man inside Chuck
E Cheese? I don't know, living in the dumpster behind
Chuck E Cheese like weed Man, I don't think you
(37:27):
appreciated that for Did you hear weed Man hippie has
been taking days off from begging.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
No, I didn't hear that.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Yeah, he's a fan of Kawhi load management, is what
he said. Why is weed Man feeling so good about himself?
Speaker 3 (37:45):
I don't know. Why would you be doing that?
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Well, because the credit card keeps telling him he's outstanding,
and so he's a credit cards telling him that, Yeah,
that's justin in d C. When when does credit when
credit card companies call we man to report suspicious activity
on his account, I don't know when. Yeah, well apparently
someone actually made a payment, so they were they thought
(38:07):
it was they thought something was wrong. The same joke
of the week that was justin and DC. Thank you all.
Hang up, we men
Host
Ben Maller
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