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September 15, 2023 • 38 mins

Ben Maller talks about Andrew Luck coaching high school football and if there is a hidden meaning to that, why the NFL is worried about Amon-Ra St. Brown's hips, Lame Jokes of the Week, and more!

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome. It's our dumb birth three, a lame
joke hour Andrew Luck back in football, Say it ain't so, Batman.
Is there a hidden meaning to Andrew Luck taking a
football coaching position? We'll talk about that. Also, why is

(00:21):
the NFL worried about Amon Ross Saint Brown's hips? And
how did you grade the New York Jets defensive star
Quinn Williamson's concrete quote. We'll talk about that as well.
Right now here, it is our number three, a big
bowl of lucky charms, well dumb and the big denning

(00:47):
of another hour of the Ben Malors Show. We are
in the air everywhere like roommates as we give you
Highway hypnosis Coast, the coast, Motor and beyond on the
vast and fantabulously powerful microphones of fs are ammnating live

(01:09):
from deep deep inside the magic radio box. We are
broadcasting live from the hi iraq dot com studios. Tyraq
dot com will help you get there and unmatched selection,
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thousand recommended installers. Tire iraq dot com the way tire

(01:32):
buying shoub As we press on through these late night
hours and our first stop, our lead this hour from
the retirement wing of the NFL. Do you remember there
was a quarterback years ago. You probably don't even remember

(01:53):
this before your time, but there's a quarterback named Andrew Luck. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
crazy right, was like I think he fought in the
Civil War. So Andrew Louck used to play in Indy
and then right before the start of a season he quit.
He said, I want to play, I'm done. And the

(02:16):
Colts have never recovered from that. So that mench of
a man is back in the sporting fodder. And you
see this, Maybe you didn't see it, maybe you did.
I don't know what if I told you that Andrew
Luck is back in football. He has taken a gig

(02:37):
in the football world. We've learned now that Andrew Luck
can call him coach Luck. He's a Lucky coach. Andrew
Luck serving as an assistant football coach at pal Altol
High School. Who now, well, some reporter in the Bay area.
This the return to his collegiate root, at least the

(03:00):
area there, as he played at Stanford back in the day.
And I'm told that that high school is right across
the street. So there you go. And Luck is currently
going to Stanford. He's a graduate student and he's at
the School of Education there, Stanford School of Education. But here,

(03:21):
here's the thing. Like Luck is rich, he's just fusing
around with the educator. He need the education. You need
the education to get rich and all that stuff. I mean,
you educate yourself without going to Stanford. There's this thing
called the Internet. You learn a lot of crazy things anyway.
So let us discuss the question, are you gonna go
thumbs up or thumbs down on some kind of hidden

(03:46):
meaning to Andrew Luck getting back into football. Granted it's
not a high level gig, but at a high school coaching,
So I'm gonna go thumbs up. I'm going thumbs up
on this. I've got sorcerer's workshop, the belt and oozing,
and we will combine all of these things together and

(04:10):
we are going to make garlic puffs. When done right,
there are few foods better than a well made garlic puff.
And that that's an unpopular opinion of some. But I'm
telling you, when well made, oh my god, so good.
So number wh come down. You gotta look below the

(04:36):
surface on this one, okay, you do. Andrew Luck had
said that he needed to remove himself from football that
he was completely burned out, so he went a one.
His taste buds rejected pigskin. They didn't like it, and
randomly Andrew Luck pops up in the shadows after detoxing.

(05:02):
Apparently he's made some changes now, He's decluttered some stuff
and he's reorganized his life's priorities. Now. He had expressed
an interest in coaching a couple of years back. He's
thirty four years old now, and at this point, based
on what I've read and what I've heard, he's gone
into the Sorcerer's Workshop and he's decided the time is

(05:25):
right to experiment with exis and o's. Does this mean
that Andrew Luck could come back to play quarterback in
the NFL? No, Jim Ursay every day wakes up normally
around one or two o'clock in the afternoon from what
I've heard, but Ers wakes up and he's like, Hey,
what can I do to get Andrew Luck to come

(05:46):
back to this date? And every day he fails, every
single day. So now Andrew Lucky went to the Sorcerer's Workshop,
So okay, he's experimenting with the x's and o's and
all that. But if I'll tell you this, if Luck
wants an assistant coaching job in the NFL, he'll get
one if that's the goal. If he wants to be
a coach, somebody will give him the opportunity to be

(06:08):
a coach at the assistant level in the In the NFL,
he's not he's not coming back to play. I can
see Andrew Luck following in the footsteps of Dion Sanders
and trying to coach college players. Let's go to Detroit
and there's an interesting tale here involving Amon Ross Saint Brown.
This guy's really good, really good. I don't remember him

(06:32):
being that good in college at SC he's all right,
but this guy's outstanding in the NFL. So he had
a rather interesting touchdown celebration last week that went viral
and it caught the attention of big brother. The Key
and Peel touchdown celebration very famous on the internet. But
the Lions a wide receiver. He said on the Fledgling

(06:56):
podcast that he does why because everyone's got a podcast,
even I have a podcast. The Fifth Hour Podcaster should
be coming up today. But he said that he was
one hip thrust away from drawing a penalty flag, he
revealed he said on the podcast, he said, I hit it, boom,
no flag, and Amon Ross Saint Brown said, I get

(07:19):
to the sideline, I sit down, celebrate. And then the
Detroit Lions wide receivers coach, who I remember when he
was playing because I'm old, Antoine Randall l and Antoine
Randall Ell came up to Amon ra and said, hey, Saint,
one more pump, and they said they were gonna throw

(07:41):
the flag. One more pump. So why do you think,
just between me and you, why do you think the
NFL is worried about Amon Ross Saint Brown's hips. So,
so I'll go first here. The shield defense system was activated,

(08:02):
and the reason it was activated is because they have
to protect the belt. It's all about the belt, not
that belt, not the other belt. I'm talking about the
Bible Belt. The NFL's worried about how that's gonna play
in Chattanooga and Birmingham. And I remember a few years back.
It's actually been in a long time. That's probably been

(08:23):
about a decade. But I had a great time ranting
and raving and Mallard monologues when Cam Newton was a
big deal in Carolina and they played the Tennessee Titans.
I still remember the game. It was Carolina and Tennessee,
and Cam Newton had a rather large performance, if I
remember correctly. He scored a touchdown and then he did

(08:44):
some dirty dancing. Oh my god, hide the women and
the children. Now there's one person in particular. I think
she was a middle aged woman if I remember correct.
And this woman lost her lunch and she wrote a letter.
You know how you write. People start write letters to
the newspaper. And she wrote a letter to the newspaper

(09:07):
in Nashville that got posted online, and she ripped the
NFL and Cam Newton for what she called the chest puffs,
pelvic thrusts and arrogant struts, which is one of the
great sentences ever written. Chest puffs, pelvic thrusts, and arrogant struts. Now,

(09:27):
in that case, you know, the NFL I didn't do anything,
but it's those taboo thrusting of the hips man. Some
people just can't handle it. I know when I shake
my hips man, people lose their mind. They're like, oh,
I can't believe what I just saw. And every grunt
does count, all right, final point, Let's go to New York, Well,

(09:50):
actually New Jersey, where the Jets have a very very
exciting defensive tack. We less exciting. He's a debit defensive tackle.
Quinn Williams. Quinn Williams is his name, and funny soundbites
are his game. He played at Alabama back in the day.
So Quinn Williams was asked about the topic that the

(10:12):
media is obsessed with right now. We must bam the turf,
no turf at all. Many figured, Hey, somebody the media
is like, I'll ask this guy, Quinn Quinn Williams. I'll
ask him about this. I'll get a quote, I'll get
another story out of it. I'll feature the quote. This
after Aaron Rodgers, that's my quarterback, suffered an achilles injury

(10:34):
back in the first game on Monday night against the
Buffalo Bills. And so so anyway, I met live stadium,
the site and all that. So the reporter asked the
leading question, asked his opinion on the tape, on his take,
and he responded Quinn Williams by not taking the bait.
In fact, he ruined the reporters quote. Listen to what

(10:59):
the New York Jets defensive tackle said when asked about
playing on turf or defense and if he had a preference,
take a listen. No, apparently he had nothing to say.
Apparently he had nothing to say it all. He said,
I'll give you the quote. We don't have it, but
I'll give it to you. I thought we did, he
said me myself. Man, it's a football game. I'm prepared

(11:23):
to put the quarterback down. It could be on concrete
for all I care. I loh, I like, I really,
I don't really care. That's my preference. That's my opinion.
I love this football game. I love football in general
and just competing. And that's all I'm worried about, is

(11:44):
just playing football, he said. But that the money part
of that quote, boy, I wish we had it is
it could be on concrete for all I care. And
they used to play on concrete. They would put carpet
nineteen seventies, carpet on concrete in Philadelphia and Saint Louis

(12:06):
and Cincinnati and all these places. So how did you
grade the sound bite from Quinn Williams on concrete, not
caring about turf or grass. So I gave it an
a plus. I thought it was hilarious and he sounded
like a alpha male oohing oosing with machismo. That's a

(12:29):
football guy any time, any place, anywhere. Oh to be invincible,
Oh to be invincible at the age of twenty five.
It is a wonderful, wonderful, glorious thing. So here go.

(12:50):
It is the Ben Malor Show. If you would like
to be part, you can join us here and you
know the number. I don't need to give out the number,
but you can give us a bus if you do
another number, and also on the Twitter slash x machine
and you can join us there at Ben Mahlor, that
is at Ben Mahler if you want to be part

(13:12):
of the program. Time now for the Mallord Riddle of
the day. We will have coming up in a couple
of minutes, the lame jokes of the week. That'll be
later in the hour, but right now, the Mallor Riddle
of the day. The Phoenix Suns, which I'm told is
a basketball team. The Phoenix Sons are giving away blank
for free to their fans. Okay, Mallard Riddle of the day.

(13:36):
The Phoenix Suns have announced that they are giving away
blank for free to their fans. That is the Mallord
Riddle of the day. The answer will get to it,
and we will do it next.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
Join the curious world of the Ben Mallor Show online.
It is pain free and easy to do. Just follow
your host on Twitter. He's at Ben Mallor and you
can tweet at and follow the man who is playing
some some good tunes from the eighties. I guess soundtrack.
I think this was. This is from Dirty Dancing.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Come on, man, yeah, I mentioned Dirty Nancy. Yeah. Sam
listens very closely to the malon monologue and then he
has to chime in, I like it.

Speaker 3 (14:32):
There you go.

Speaker 1 (14:33):
Nice touch.

Speaker 3 (14:34):
So if you want to follow Iowa Sam on Twitter,
He's at Iowa Sam ninety nine.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
How about this, he's loved up to get the hell
out of here.

Speaker 3 (14:47):
That was that baseball movie I hated you Fill the
Dreams The Dreams movie sucked from the entire rat dot com,
Fox Sports Radio Studios. It's Ben Mallor.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're banned from the state of Iowadie.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
I think I could be all right with that.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
You will never be welcomed into a Field of Dreams game.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
Ever again, Iowa Sam almost got kicked out of the
Field of Dreams game. You know that.

Speaker 3 (15:11):
I know he dressed, uh, did not dress professionally.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
And he was wearing his full fan outfit, sitting in
the press box.

Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yeah, with a good move, cold beer, with a cold
easy Eddie in my hands.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
Iowa Sam never read the book. There's no cheering in
the press box, hed No, no, that.

Speaker 4 (15:28):
I actually left the press box and wandered around. It
was great.

Speaker 1 (15:31):
Probably after I met They have changed that policy though,
because anybody that works for these teams is cheering for
the team.

Speaker 5 (15:40):
Right Listen, Ben Scott Shapiro said, I want you to
go to this event as an intrepid, intrepid reporter like
Hunter S.

Speaker 4 (15:48):
Thompson, and I want you to take it all in
and report back to us.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
That's what I said. Okay, I'll take it all in,
I'll wear the outfit, I'll do the whole thing. That's right. Yeah,
just falling orders. Yes, he's dead, by the way, Hunter S. Thompson,
he's not. He's not around anymore.

Speaker 4 (16:04):
Very good writer, interesting man.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
He believe he blew his brains out.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah, I just he didn't. He get drunk and then
that's it. I'm out.

Speaker 3 (16:12):
That's the day he loved guns and then yeah, well
right up until the end of yeah, yes.

Speaker 1 (16:18):
He did what. He loved.

Speaker 4 (16:19):
People more drugs than Jed who fled.

Speaker 3 (16:22):
Well, that's saying a lot.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
I don't know about that. Jed's how old was Hunter S.
Thompson when he took it in his late fifties early sixties. Maybe, well,
Jed's younger, so I don't know how. Hopefully Jed will
be around for a long time, but who knows. You
never know. Anyway. It is the Bean Mallard Show as
we continue on time now for the Mallor Riddle of

(16:44):
the day. The oh he was sixty seven? Interesting, Okay,
that's it. You should You should had another fifteen years
or so of you know, baby.

Speaker 4 (16:55):
I don't think the brain was working the way he
wanted to anymore.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
Scrambled legs, mash tatoes, something like that.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
Go for your riddle there.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
Sorry.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
The Phoenix Suns Phoenix Suns are giving away blank for
free to their fans this upcoming basketball season. That is
the Mallard riddle of the day. What is the answer? Rod,
the Ambassador of Bakersfield is going with eggplant as his answer.
Fergkat says, Mike Trout bobbleheads. The answer, Asher says a

(17:26):
yo yo and some skittles. Chris Paul's unused injury days
guessed by the Late Night drug tester KD crying towels
from clam He says, that's the answer to the Mallard
riddle of the day. Matt the Warrior Raider fan says,
the Suns announced they're giving away a Kevin Durant load

(17:47):
management bobblehead for free. Well, a load management bobblehead. You
don't actually have to give it out because you're you're
resting the bobblehead that day, so you don't actually have
to give it out. Who else do we have page
down here? It sure as hell isn't a championship guess
by Justin in the enchanted Forest? Is it a sandwich

(18:07):
that Marcel was gagging on? Guests by Anthony in Anaheim?
Rob and Minnesota says they're giving away a free Bunny
Ranch pass to Blair because he needs it the most.
A Tom Chambers dunking doll from Fudgie Mark in Santa Monica,

(18:28):
who's apparently in Toronto right now. He says, these sons
are giving their fans Oreo milkshakes that that is the answer.
Page down Cool mort ninety nine says, dark and smelly
tequila from Seine Dean Margarita's Guests by Eke and Roseville, Minnesota.
Our buddy Mason and Huntington Beach, who reminded me that
this week Jim Healy, one of my favorite radio people

(18:50):
back when I was a kid, would have had his
hundredth birthday the other day. Mason and hunting the Beach
says they are giving away heartbreaking playoff disappointment for free.
They've been doing that for a long time. Trucker Joe
says Antonio Brown inspired bags of gummies is the answer
to the malor riddle of the day. Supermarket Steve says
pictures of Kendall Jenner naked photoshopped of course, and who

(19:14):
else gorilla mass from Rory that's his answer. Thunder Thighs
from Ozzie Waz in Western Australia, w NBA season tickets
guess by Sean in Phoenix. We had a couple of
guys that cheated Jonathan in Delaware clearly cheating along with
Chip and the cues. Eddie do you have an answer.

Speaker 3 (19:33):
Eddie, Yeah, I didn't cheat. I did see the story though.
They're giving away Antenna's Eddie.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
That is wrong, Eddie. It's not just in Tenna's Eddie.
It's it's it's the regular rabbit here in tennis. Right.
They're giving those oays so as opposed to what I
just want to say, you're wrong, you're right, but I
wanted to say you're right the Phoenix Sun. You're not
supposed to get it right in these sons are giving
away TV in tenn is because the owner of matt
Ishbia announced the I think off cable television. This is crazy, Eddie.

(20:04):
Remember we were kids, all these games were on over
the air television.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
It was well not all of them. It was select games, right,
it was the Game of the week and things like that.
You couldn't watch your teams every game.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
NBC had the Saturday Game of the week or whatever
network was carrying the game. But the local games, like
in La you had the Dodgers were on I think what.

Speaker 3 (20:24):
Channel, channel eleven.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
There was channel eleven. I think we were a channel
nine to the Lakers on channel All the teams are
on local TV and then they went to cable and
now they're back. A lot of these teams are going
back to over the air broadcast television.

Speaker 3 (20:37):
Well, these local sports networks are going but bye.

Speaker 1 (20:41):
Well I mean they're just moving the platforms to streaming services.
Well not the Suns, Well the Suns aren't, but yes.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
The Vegas Golden Knights and hockey are doing this as well.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yeah, well that's because the cable ballys, the cable channel
whatever the parent company got rid of some of the
camp does.

Speaker 6 (21:02):
It's been so long since I've watched anything like broadcast.
Is that still like have they figured out a way
to do that HD? Or or is it's just it's
still like old school.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
Oh let me tell you something, Coop. I have at
the Malord mansion here we have one of those. It's
like a digital TV thing. It's not cable and there's
like two hundred three hundred channels on this thing and
you don't have to pay for it.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
It's like I believe they have figured out, right, how
did to a high quality? I think that's pretty high quality.
The local channels you can get on that over the air.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
Like like game show channels and sports channel. It's nuts.

Speaker 6 (21:36):
But and you can get like you know, ABC, NBC,
CBS that I.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Think one of the channels has the news, like the
local news. But it's the laid a little.

Speaker 6 (21:45):
Bit because if if the Lakers and the Angels went broadcast,
I would I would drop my TV service so fast you'd.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
Be out of there, you'd be gone.

Speaker 3 (21:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (21:57):
I managed just to watch both the Chargers and the
Rams uh here in Los Angeles, just on YouTube, TV
on you know, Fox and CBS.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
Well, yeah, because the NFL puts those games on.

Speaker 5 (22:07):
Yeah, I'm glad they're not like blacked out, you know. Yeah,
you know in Iowa there's like six Major League Baseball
teams that are blacked out in the state.

Speaker 4 (22:14):
It's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
Cubs, White Sox, who else.

Speaker 5 (22:16):
Twins, uh, probably Twins, the Brewers, the Royals, you know,
the Cardinals. Like it's just anybody, any anybody in a proximity.
It's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
So the blackout rule was good when it started. It
is so stupid in the modern era. And these idiots
they they God forbid, they changed the blackout rules and
it's like, oh, I've always done it this way, and
we're gonna continue to do it this way. It's like, no,
it's outdated. Real quick, let's check in with mass whole Mickey.

(22:45):
That got my attention. Hello mass Whole, Mickey, you are next, quickly,
and then we've got lame jokes of the week. Hello Mickey.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
So I think to Cherry on the top was the
you could have got tickets to the Red Sox Yankee
series for one dollar?

Speaker 1 (22:59):
Was that the immortal blow for heim Bloom. When you're
writing the eulogy for heinm Bloom, that will be what
you put there. His final act is GM of the
Red Sox one dollar tickets for the Yankees. Wow, and Eddie,
real quick, who's the new Bruins captain?

Speaker 3 (23:18):
I got Charlie McAvoy. I'm gonna say it's Marsham.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah, he's got too much of a pass.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
They love though, Eddie.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
You can't disagree this is this is masshole Mickey. You
can't disagree with masshole Mickey. Okay, sorry, all right, thank you, Mickey,
go away.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
You be sure to catch live editions of The Ben
Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
Hey, it's Ben. Host of the Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller would mean a lot to have you join us
on our weekly auditory journey. You're asking, what in God's
name is the Fifth Hour. I'll tell you it's a
spin off of it Ben Mahler Show, a cult hit
overnights on FSR. Why should you listen? Picture if you will?
A world chat with captains of industry in media, sports,
and more. Every week explore some amazing facts about human

(24:06):
nature and more. Listen to The Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller or the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you
get your podcast.

Speaker 3 (24:12):
This from the NFL, the ever expanding National Football League.
Of course, they do play games in England. They've hadded
Germany and now Spain. The NFL close to finalizing a
deal to have the.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Regular Are you gonna go to Madrid?

Speaker 3 (24:28):
Madrid, Spain? If these Steelers or Chargers play in Madrid.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Let's go you're there.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
I'm probably gonna go.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yeah, what's your You're going to New York this year?

Speaker 3 (24:38):
Yes, going to New York. I was very excited to see. Yeah,
I was gonna see the Aaron Rodders and the Jets.
So I guess the plus side is that my wife's
Chargers now have a better chance to win that game
than maybe they did before.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
But I think you should let your wife go to
the game and then you can hang out with Marcel
and Uncle Mo and Brooklyn.

Speaker 3 (24:55):
We're going for a week, so there's plenty of time. Yes, Yes,
I've never been.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
Ball season week off in the football season, Eddie.

Speaker 3 (25:03):
Apparently I can't. I've done it every year. What are
you talking about? I always take it.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
I know you can't the rules, you can't, but you do.
But but yeah, I recommend going to Harlem. Any That's
what I recommend.

Speaker 3 (25:13):
I'm going to see a hockey game at the Garden.
I'm very excited about that.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
That's not in Harlem.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
I'm not going to Harlem, but thank you for the attation.

Speaker 1 (25:21):
Go to the Bronx. You should go to the Bronx
at like three in the morning and see, just see
what's going on. Yeah, I recommend, Or how about you
just do what I do. When I first went to
New York, my brother moved there. I was I was
in like high school and I went there and I didn't,
you know, he said, take the subway. It's easy. You know,
I'm a California kid. I didn't know anyth about the
damn subway. So I got on the subway, I got

(25:42):
on the wrong subway line, and I assumed, yeah, yeah,
so we got we got to the Bronx, like a
really crappy part of the Bronx, and they said, all right,
last stop, end of the line. Everyone off. Oh boy,
like oh crap, oh boy, and uh yeah, nothing happened.
I mean, there were some people giving me like the

(26:04):
uh the mad dog look, like you know, what are
you doing.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
They were like, don't make eye contact. You don't belong here,
just look at the ground and keeping I'm like, you
know what, You're right, I don't belong here, but I
am here.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
So yeah, exactly, you have no eye contact the whole
the whole deal.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
It is.

Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yes, it is the Ben Maller Show. As uh as
we roll on. It's brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
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Progressive dot Com. Now I am upset, Eddie. You're going

(26:40):
to New York in the winter time, or at least
not the summer. The real New York experience. If you
really want to get an authentic Big Apple experience, you
have to go in August. And yeah, you got to
go to late August when it or even early August.
Anytime in August it get really sultry, hot and human
and they put the trash out in the evening because

(27:01):
they pick up the trash every day in Manhattan. And
the smell of the rotting food and the rats walking
around and the the odor is just so authentic New York.
It is so amazing. You really have to experience that, Eddie.
So you're gonna have to go back in late July

(27:22):
or August or September.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
Yeah, no, you should, Eddie, you really.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
And you go in the subway stations which aren't air conditioned,
and everyone stinks they've all got bo there's rats running around.
But other than that, it's a beautiful play. I mean,
skyscrapers everywhere. It's amazing. I go there quite often because
my my family there. But you got to get that
full experience. Did I do the progressive ready? Was? Sam?

(27:50):
I don't want to do it again because I've done
that for good to go? All right, all right, we're
good on you go. Sometimes I just I forget, and
then I just keep reading it over and over and
over again. Yea yeah. The sponsors love that. The sales
department does not love that. So theo Epstein is available,
the Guru of gurus who ended the curse of the
Bambino and the Curse of the Billy Goat. Could he

(28:13):
go back to Boston? According to Sam Kennedy, who is that.
Sam Kennedy is a big muckety muck the Boston Red Sox.
He's a corporate weasel for the Socks president, and he
has announced that even though the job is open to
run the baseball ops department in Boston, that theo Epstein

(28:35):
is not a candidate. Epstein working for Major League Baseball
as a high paid consultant who's coming up with all
kinds of rules for quicking the pace of the game
and all that. So that is the story, at least
that's what the Red Sox are saying right now. I
saw the Mets hired a new nerd, this guy Stearns

(28:56):
to be their GM. We didn't talk about that. I
was going to talk about that the other day. I
don't think they came up on the show. Oh, the
old Brewers GM who interned for the Mets. I guess
he was grew up in New York. He was a
Mets fan, So good luck, good luck with that. It's
all the same people getting these jobs, right, It's all
the same group of people, and it's the same concept

(29:16):
the IVY League or IVY League like like school analytics,
same mantra, same dogma. That's how you do it, all right,
spend out. So we're gonna have a long segment of
big bends lame jokes of the week for the rest
of the hour. So buckle up. The comedy club is

(29:37):
about to open up for business. These are all listeners
submitted jokes from men, women, no children, Actually, no women either.
It's just dudes. It's just men's I don't think. I
think maybe three times. Well, Kathy and Madison sent some
jokes in, and like two other women, but it's almost
always dudes that send the jokes in. And we'll have

(29:57):
big bands lame jokes of the week for the rest
of the hour. We'll get to that and we will
do it next.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
the nation. Catch all of our shows at foxsports radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app search FSR to
listen live.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
Calling all Malard Militia foot soldiers, we need your helping
hand to gain new recruits. By posting and tagging Malor
Show related content on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and all social networks.
You are the special ingredient needed to influence others to
join our mysterious nocturnal platoon known as the Ben Malor
show Man. Now live from the tire Rat dot Com
Fox Sports Radio Studios. It's Ben Maller.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
Knock knock, Who's there? Blame week? Blame week?

Speaker 5 (30:46):
Who?

Speaker 2 (30:46):
It's Big Ben's lame joke of the week.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
That it is every weekend about this time. The comedy
Club is open to business, open for business. We want
to thank you for sending the jokes and you guys
have been great. We started this years ago. When we started,
we had just job in Cincinnati and like two other
people that sent jokes in. I think Bill and Iowa,
and no, those guys don't send jokes anymore. But we
have a bunch of other people that send jokes in.

(31:10):
It's great and so thank you guys, sir for Todd
the comedian, George and Uvaldi and Gordon at Tacoma and
all you other guys that sent jokes in we do
appreciate it and joining us again the laugh track. He
lives in Miami. He only calls us now on Friday
for lame jokes. America's favorite weed Man, weed Man, Hippie,

(31:32):
I love you? Then your phone's working now? Weed Man,
y oh, you just hit the button. All right, here
we go. These are actual jokes sending by actual listeners.
What are the odds in Vegas for Lizzo to beat
the sexual harassment charges against her?

Speaker 3 (31:51):
I don't know what are the odds.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
They're currently listed Eddie on the Big Board as fat
chance Eddie as fat chance from from chipping Man. You
didn't like that, weed Man, You didn't like that one? Yeah,
that was a fake laugh. You don't even know who
lizo fake laughs? What's the difference between Aaron Rodgers falling

(32:12):
down and Lizzo falling down? Aaron Rodgers and Jets? From that?
But your primalstrager? Are you a Jets fan? Weed Man?
I know that doesn't mean you're a Jets fan though

(32:33):
I'm not. Just now.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
I like Aaron Rodgers came back.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
He's gonna have a big year. You should bet on
the Jets. To win the Super Bowl. We' man the
answer ready? Aaron Rodgers twists and ankle. Lizzo twist the sidewalk.
That's the answer. It's Gordon. I'm not feeling the laugh
this week, Weed man, have you changed your laugh? I

(32:58):
feel like you've lost your way?

Speaker 3 (33:00):
Is he down on his luck?

Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yeah? Are you down on your luck? Have you found
your teeth? We yet? Have you?

Speaker 2 (33:08):
I have my.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
Phone? Can't even work the phone? All right? Did you
know that Lizzo is a fan of the Indianapolis Colts.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
I was aware of that.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
Yeah, Jim Rsey once offered twenty million dollars to fly
her home. Edi. So yes, winner, it's a George from
Uvaldi there, thank you, George. Why does Lizzo have more
threads than other people?

Speaker 3 (33:39):
I don't know why.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Well, she accidentally split her jeans, Eddie, that's why I'm everywhere.
That's from Surfer Todd the Comedian. Now check this out.
We've met Surfer Todd. We love Surfer Todd the Comedian. Right,
he's a great guy. Friend of the show. Did you
know Surfer Todd the Comedian has been in the hospital
for twenty four straight days. He's got some kind of infection,

(34:02):
So get better, get better, Surfer Todd the Comedian. Man,
hopefully they give you some powerful drugs there and that
I know, Man, come on, we love you, Surfer Todd.
What's worse than Lizzo in your refrigerator?

Speaker 3 (34:16):
I don't know what's worse.

Speaker 1 (34:17):
Peyton and Eli Manning on your TV. That would be worse.
Eddie Gordon in Tacoma. What is Lizzo's favorite scene from
the movie Beverly Hills Cop I don't know. For some reason,
she likes the banana in the tailpipe. I don't know why, Eddie.

(34:38):
I have no idea why she likes that. All right,
we have the the weed Man radio erost How is
weed Man like a worm?

Speaker 3 (34:49):
He's down in the dirt.

Speaker 1 (34:51):
Well, neither one has teeth. Eddie and Bow should be
found underground. No, Surfer, Surfer Todd the Comedian. Why will
weed Man? Why will we man? Hippie never go to Buffalo?
All of those bills, Eddie, he wants nothing to do

(35:13):
with those bills. No, no, no, he can't pay him.
Oh that's Eric in Kansas. Why does it or what
does it mean? What does it mean? If weed Man
sticks a penny into a tire and doesn't see Lincoln's head.

Speaker 3 (35:27):
I don't know what does it mean.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
It means the donations were down that day, Eddie, that's
what it means. That's ship.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
In Maine.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Very funny man ship in Maine. We thank you for that.
Of course, weed Man has no idea that joke because
he he does not hear the tire rack commercials. Why
doesn't Lizzo want to date weed Man?

Speaker 3 (35:48):
I don't know why.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
Well, apparently Lizzo said she can't eat him out of
house and homes, so she wants nothing to do with it.
He's already out of those things. That's brand then from Boston,
Thank you, Brandon. Why doesn't weed Man have cocka roaches
in his apartment? Oh?

Speaker 3 (36:05):
I assumed he did. Why doesn't he?

Speaker 1 (36:08):
It turns out he doesn't because the dust mites ate
them already. They ate the cock roaches. So Eke and Roseville, Minnesota.

Speaker 7 (36:19):
Coop, you got any jokes over there? Coop, you have
a couple. What's the best way to drown a hipster?
Throw him in the mainstream?

Speaker 1 (36:35):
Oh? Yeah, like that. I've got one more here, all right?

Speaker 6 (36:41):
What's worse than waking up after a party and finding
a penis was drawn on your face.

Speaker 4 (36:48):
I don't know finding out it was traced. Those are
from Ozzie Momentum.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
Okay, I sent you a couple of those off you
want as well, job Bosimo man, do you know what
the difference? Do you know what the difference between weed
man hippie and a slug is?

Speaker 3 (37:06):
I know what's the difference?

Speaker 1 (37:08):
Nothing, Eddie, Absolutely nothing, Eddie. That's a hillbilly Mike. When
we come down we made When weed Man and his
buddy come across roadkill. Why does he always let his
buddy eat first? I don't know why, because when when
his buddy throws up, we man gets a hot meal, Eddie,

(37:35):
hill billy Mike set that one in. Very nice. What
do weed Man, Hippie and the New York giants have
in common?

Speaker 3 (37:42):
I don't know what.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
They are both surrounded by squalor and have no teeth, Eddie,
they have absolutely no teeth. There, very nice? Who is
who is Wander Franco's literary hero? Oh boy, I don't
know the pied piper, Eddie. He likes the pied piper
man all right, there it is, But that was hill

(38:03):
pulling Mike Fagale Man lame jokes up the week. Good
job joke writers,
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Ben Maller

Ben Maller

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