December 1, 2023 • 39 mins
Ben Maller talks about reports that Mark Davis would love to have Jon Gruden back as coach of the Raiders and the chances that this actually happens, Lame Jokes of the Week, and much more!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome. It's our num birth three. We had
to Sin City, lost wages, Nevada. And what do you
make of Mark Davis reports saying he's dreaming of a
John Gruden Raiders reunion, and there is a scenario where
the NFL would sign off on allowing John Gruden to
(00:20):
come back. Well, examine the conspiracy theory, see if we
buy it. Also, is Dak Prescott's pending baby a terrible
distraction for the Cowboys season, as one FS one broadcaster said,
And should forty nine Ers quarterback Brock Purty be downgraded
because of his fashion choices? We'll talk about that as well.
(00:41):
Here it is and lame jokes our number three. So
you're saying there's a chance, you're saying there's a chance. Welme.
In the beginning of another hour of the Ben Mavers Show,
we are in the air every beside one another as
(01:03):
we use evidence based reasoning coast to coast, port of
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It's an audio sportsbook in your ears. That's what we're
(01:24):
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Tire Buying showbe and our lead this hour coming from
(01:47):
Lost Wages, Nevada. And I like this story. And you
know I enjoy a good conspiracy. I do. I like
sporty conspiracies. I enjoy a lot. I've had many arguments
over the years with my friend Sports with Coleman Baltimore
Media mogul Sports with Coleman that the night the lights
(02:07):
turned off at Camden Yards when Cal Ripkin was playing
the Seattle Mariners. I'm convinced that Cal got into a
fight with Kevin Costner and that's why that game was canceled.
I believe the draft lottery was fixed for Patrick Ewing.
I believe that to be true as well. There's several
other several other conspiracies that I completely buy into. And
there is a deep state conspiracy involving the Raiders. So
(02:30):
to get you cut up to speed our headline from Vegas,
the Raiders dumped Josh mcdangels. You knew about that. He
was not a jolly good fellow. He was let go
earlier this season, and they're writing with interim coach Antonio Piers,
and we hope Antonio Pierce gets the job. I happen
to know somebody that I grew up with who his
(02:51):
sister worked with, Antonio Peers when he was coaching in
high school and at Arizona State. So there's a kind
of a loose canne there. So I'm pulling for Antonio Pierce,
but he's a long shot to get the job, right,
He's a long shot to get the job permanently. Have
you been following though the palace intrigue, because this is
(03:11):
good and perhaps not, but we have learned that a
Raiders owner, Mark Davis, the guy that likes playing slot
machines at the airport, Mark Davis would love to bring
John Gruden back, some saying even desperately wants to bring
John and Gruden back as his head coach. And there
(03:33):
is a path for John Gruden to come back and
be allowed back in the good graces of the NFL,
even with all of those tawdry, naughty emails that upset
all the Wokesters, right, all the Wolkesters. So there's a
catch though, What is the catch? Well, here's where the
conspiracy comes in. I'll get to it more in a sec.
(03:54):
But John Gruden, in order to be allowed back as
coach or the Raiders in Vegas again, would have to
drop his litigation against the NFL for this to materialize.
So let us discuss the question, what do you make
of the reported path for John Gruden to get back
(04:18):
with the Raiders. So I've got jingle Balls, Iowa Farmer,
and the sugar Nut, and we will combine all of
these things together and we are going to make an
apple pie upset alert upse alert. At Thanksgiving, we had
a pumpkin pie. We had an apple pie. And I
(04:41):
ate more apple pie than pumpkin pie. And I'm not
afraid to admit I normally am a pumpkin pie guy,
but I went apple. I went big on the apple
this year, the big apple. All right. Now, first of all,
there's a lot underneath the surface in this story. To me,
there's a lot. As we micro am these things and
(05:02):
psychoanalyze these things. This whole thing between the NFL and
John Gruden got really ugly, really fast. And we know
the backstory that Roger Goodell and his minions. They did
John Gruden dirty, they did right. Those emails were leaked.
It was an intentional leak to the NFL friendly if
(05:23):
I remember the Washington not the Washington Wall Street Journal,
the Wall Street Journal, and I believe it was the
New York Times, if I'm not mistaken. Those are two
NFL friendly publications for the league office. And I don't
know for sure that that happens, but my belief is
it happened. I can believe anything I want. So John
was sacked if you've forgotten, for those naughty emails where
(05:45):
he was emailing buddies of his for the Washington Redskins
that contained the Big Three. The Big Three a racist,
misogynistic and homophobic verbiage. And Brent Musburger, who I had
one of the great gets ever on my podcast a
couple of years ago, Brent Musburger, You're looking live. He
(06:06):
said of the dismissal, that it was a professional hit
job by a paid assassin. That's what Musburger said of
how the NFL did John Gruden. So it has been
an open secret that the NFL encouraged strongly, some would say,
twisted Mark Davis's arm to make sure that John Gruden
(06:28):
was whacked, the guillotine fell down on him. And the
idea being floated that chucky boy is going to be
allowed back, that he will be allowed back into the
Fraternal Order of NFL Coaches under the condition that he
drops his lawsuit is intriguing because when you take the
onion and you start, you peel the onion back right,
(06:50):
you start peeling on your back. This is a telltale
sign if true, the NFL is in the dangers a
danger zone. Why because this would tell you if they
are willing to say, Okay, you know what, we know
you did the email thing, but it was a long
time ago. We'll clean up your your reputation and all that.
(07:14):
John Gruden must have them by the jingle balls. He must, right,
he must be holding the jingle balls or the NFL
lawyers for the league, they know whether or not they've
got a winnable case. The NFL legal arm knows whether
or not they've got enough, and then John Gruden can't win.
And if they're going to be given the atomic wedgie
(07:35):
by John Gruden in court, there's a lot of skeletons
that are buried in that treasure trove of emails, and
you talk about discovery in a legal proceeding, and the
NFL they know what's in those emails. Right, You can
do a simple search, type in bad words, different words
that are offensive to polite society, and you can figure
(07:56):
out that John Gruden likely one of hundreds of big
shots of the NFL that were fast and loose with
the language that if you said it outside, you might
not you know, might not be loved and all that.
And so if they're willing to cut Gruden a deal,
they're looking to limit liability. Now, the other part of this,
(08:17):
which is crazy to think about. If you're John Gruden,
you make the call. You're a lifetime football coach. You've
lived your life, you were beloved now you're still beloved
by a lot of people, but not by as many.
Does your heart desire going back to that life coaching
or do you want your final act in football to
(08:41):
slay the dragon that is the NFL and get a
ridiculous lottery like payout from the NFL. Do you go
for the jugular of big football? That's the question. It's
an interesting question. We'll see what John Gruden decides to do. Now. Secondly,
headline from the boob Tube where fs one personality Craig
(09:04):
Carton under fire. He said, what, Yeah, Craig Carton a
longtime radio gas bag. He's just doing TV now because
he's making like a million bucks a year. Good job
by him. But anyway, Creig Carton was talking about the
Cowboys Dak Prescott prior. This is earlier in the day,
prior to the Cowboys game which Dallas didn't win. They
beat Seattle in the Thursday night game. But the issue
(09:25):
of Dak Prescott becoming a fop came up. Prescott and
his girlfriend announced last week that the couple would be
welcoming in a baby daughter to the world, and Craig
Carton was opining about this and he said that Dak
Prescott becoming a father. He indicated it not married and
having a kid is a mistake and a quote terrible decision.
(09:48):
He questioned if Dak's girlfriend is a gold digger, and
that went over very well unless it didn't. But it
is interesting conversation. The general wide angle lens on. This
is Dak pres Scott's pending baby coming into the world.
Here a terrible destruction for the Cowboys season. So methinks
(10:09):
the baby thing actually pretty normal. I've been at this
for a while, not that I know anything. I just
do the Overnight Show. But these are young people in
their twenties and thirties. And if you look at the
cycle of life, right, the circle of life, that's normally
the time in your twenties and thirties when you're pro
(10:30):
creating and you are creating spawns. That's normally when you're
very fertile and you're enjoying the fruits of your labor
and your celebrity and all that. And wal Craig Carton
certainly pushed the envelope, which does make for good radio,
good television. It's not a mistake. I mean I go
that far, but I would tell you the process of
(10:51):
an Iowa farmer where they have to go out, they
have to plant the seeds, and then they have to
wait for the harvest. And that's kind of the way
I look at this, like this is a built in
excuse when inevitably Dak Prescott, who's the epitome of El
Stinko in Big Games, goes out there and lays an egg,
(11:11):
and there'll be somebody bleeding heart blogger or columnist that
will write and say, well, Dak was distracted, but it's
okay because he's going to be a daddy and that's
all right, that's more important, and they'll just brush aside
the fact that he went out there and played like
a total turn burger in a playoff game for the Cowboys.
So he's got that built in excuse because in reality,
(11:34):
the whole distraction thing, you have to be able to
compartmentalize in any job, in anything in life, whether you're
a truck driver and you're having a child, or whether
you're a quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. Now, as for
the gold digger line, some people very offended by that.
I don't even think that's outrageous, and I'll tell you why.
There are plenty of examples of baby mama drama among
(12:01):
professional athletes and women who they stoop and baby pops
out and then they end up, you know, they have
a falling out, and it's to ching chi ching chi ching,
chi ching ch ching. It's eighteen years of amazing payments
every month, and so that does happen all the time.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Maybe these they're lovebirds, they love each other, who knows.
I hope they do, but you never know, all right,
Final five. Finally, so I had a email from Ron
from Oakland, and I thought I would address this. I
could have done this later in the hour, but I
thought I do this right now. So Ron listens to
the show, and God bless him. He did say he
(12:40):
watches Benny versus the Penny, so thank you times two.
He did not say he listens to the fifth hour podcast,
so I won't thank him times three. But anyways, Guy
Ron said any he was listening to the Colin Cowherd
show and he wanted my opinion on something that cowhard
had said about the brock Purty. And I did not
hear this lie he sent me. Ron sent me a
(13:01):
clip from the interweb of our colleague here at Fox
Sports Radio cow Herd, who was praising I'll just give
you the thumbnail recap. So he was praising Jalen Hurts,
celebrating Jalen Hurts for the way he deals with the media,
claimed he was professional and manicured. But of course, the
main point Cowherd made was he had his hat on
(13:22):
facing forward. And then there was a clip of Rock
Party who had his hat on backwards, which is a
major pet peeve of Cowherd. And he then went on
to say that he wants his quarterbacks. According to Ron,
when he sent me the quarterbacks to be adults, he
implied that brock Purty was like a frat boy because
(13:45):
he wears his hat backwards at news conferences and whatever.
So real quick, should forty nine er quarterback brock Purty
be downgraded because of his fashion choices? So I'm gonna
shake my head on this. Brock Purty is the greatest
system quarterback of this generation of the modern NFL. He's
(14:07):
also a kid. I didn't meet brock Purty, but we
did cross in the hallways at Radio Row before the
Super Bowl earlier this year, and brock Purty I call
him the baby Face Assassin because he looked like he
was twelve years old and I'm walking and it was
(14:28):
actually Doug Gottlieb who said, can you believe that's brock Purty?
And I said, who are you talking about? And then
he pointed and I was like what, I guess he
was on Gottlieb Show, and so I was like, wow,
you're kidding me. Good for him. So yeah, I mean
the long, young looking guy. But you know, Colin Coward,
(14:48):
he's the headliner. He's the big kahoon. Around here, he's
the big ragou and all that, But on this one
he's a ma sugunah and he's peddling michigos, as my
grandfather would say, because this is just his issue and
his weak spot and all that. It is the Ben
Mallord Show, the Ben Mahlor Show. As we continue on,
speakeasy rules aren't effective. You'd like to be part, you
(15:09):
can call up, scream, shout, yell, all that stuff, give
us a buzz. Also available on x at Ben Mallor,
That is at Ben Mahllor. If you would like to
be part of the program. We might read your comments
on the air there as well, so try to keep
them broadcast friendly. Time. Now for the Mallor Riddle of
(15:30):
the Day. And here's the Mallard Riddle of the Day.
You can answer this on next type in hashtag Mallar Riddle.
Every once in a while there's a trending topic with
our name in it because of the p ones, the
big core guys that listen every night and very interactive.
So here we go Mallard Riddle of the Day. NFL
Hall of Famer Shannon Sharp recently revealed that he blanks
(15:52):
on average somewhere between seven and ten times a day.
Hall of Famer Shannon Sharp recently revealed that he blanks
on average somewhere between seven and ten times a day.
That is the Mallord riddle of the day. The answer,
We'll get to it. We'll do it next.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
It's always an honored to be able to represent the
state of Iowa.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
Minus What's Good, Jollisha Maine Man, Michael Smith, esteemed NFL
analyst and certified fantasy football legend. Allow me to present
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(16:44):
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Listen to Michael Smith presents the Dynasty Exchange on the
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Join the curious world of the Ben Malor Show online.
It is pain free and easy to do. Just follow
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He's from Iowa. He's at Iowa, Sam ninety nine.
Speaker 6 (17:45):
I don't even really work here at.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
Li from the tire Ac dot Com, Fox Sports Radio Studios.
It's Ben Mallor.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Coming up later this hour, Big Ben's lame Jokes of
the week and if you'd like it, the role of
weed Man. He's not answering his phone. Maybe his phone
got stolen again. I don't know what's going on with him,
our favorite vagrant from Miami. So if you want to
do the weed Man, laugh and give us a buzz
and maybe we'll have one somebody sitting the weed man
We'll call the weed Man chair. We talked about this
(18:19):
conspiracy theory that there is a path for John Gruden
to come back and coach in the NFL if he
was willing to drop his lawsuit, the NFL might look
the other way allow him to come back and coach
the Raiders. Now, Justin in Cincinnati says there's a better
chance of Vin Scully calling the first game of next
Dodger season than John Gruden coaching again in the NFL.
(18:42):
And I would love to see Vin call another game.
I think that would be great, but difficult for him
to do that at this point. David the friy Daddy
in Pennsylvania says, the NFL, what a bunch of idiots.
The NFL knows they are screwed. Gruden will win a lawsuit,
he says, in an instance, I don't know about that
mentions freedom of speech, Gruden should say, fu well, David.
(19:04):
The problem with that is, like the whole freedom of
speech thing only applies against the government. You don't You
don't have freedom of speech against your employee. The argument
Gruden would have is that he was not an NFL
employee at the time. He was a broadcaster when those
emails were sent. H you know, I don't know if
that would stand up in court, Salsa wrote in he
(19:24):
says Blisville, Arkansas, which was mentioned by Dad Gummett earlier
in the show. He says, I've been there many times.
I fifty five between there and Memphis is great for speeding.
So thank you, Salsa. I'll take your take.
Speaker 6 (19:41):
Your word for it.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
We have to pay off the mallor riddle of the day,
and here is the malor riddle of the day. Hall
of Famer Shannon Sharp recently revealed that he blanks on
average somewhere between seven and ten times a day. Seven
and ten times a day, he said, Fudgie said he
he watches Midget frankety blank. Who else do we have down?
(20:05):
I can't read that here. Freddy says he watches Benny
versus the Penny seven times a day. Absolutely flushes the
toilet seven times a day. Guess by Jeremy in Minnesota.
He hits the curb wall parallel parking seven to ten
times a day. Late night drug tester he eats apples
from Matt the Warrior Raider fan. How dare you page down.
(20:28):
Alf the alien opiter says he daydreams about movie parodies.
That's his dream. He prank calls Skip Bayless from Kirby.
Yeah I heard, God says he just yells at Skip
for no reason, and he also does something else of
a manipulative measure. Justin in Cincinnati thought he was being funny,
(20:50):
but he actually I think got it right. Who else
do we have here? Stevie Meatball says he shoots blanks
seven to ten times today, does sit ups. Guess by
Eke in Roseville, Minnesota. Who else do we have? Page down?
That's the here Salsa got it right, bad job by him.
(21:13):
Who else do we have a lot of Skip Bayless lines?
A lot of sexual act lines that were said? Here
goes to the bathroom from cool Mort eats fruit by
the foot guessed by Rory. That is his answer. Who
else do we have? Page down? Benito the cowboy fan
(21:35):
says he waxes on, waxes off ten times a day.
Very funny, very funny. Bong rips guess by Slug in Vegas.
That's his answer. Inca Terror, the classically trained musician from
upstate New York, says he recites the Mallard militia oath.
I did see Skeeter is out there, and Skeeter's the
(21:58):
reason we have the mal Oh he is oh masshole?
Mickey says, the answer is squirtz. That that is the answer.
All right, Eddie, do you have an answer the mather
Riddle of the day. All of Famer Shannon Sharp revealed
that he blanks on average somewhere between seven and ten
(22:18):
times a day, takes.
Speaker 6 (22:20):
Human growth hormone.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Oh you mean what there? Human growth hormones? Is that correct?
Mm hmm, No, that's not correct. Correct answer. Shannon Sharp
revealed he brushes his teeth seven to ten times a day,
seven to ten times a day because he's got the
he's got this paranoia of bad breath. Maybe he's got halatosis.
(22:45):
You think he's got halatosis. I don't know, Yes, I do.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
He's got some nice chompers. I'll tell you that he must.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Spend a lot on the toothbrush. Right, that's gonna hit.
I get a good toothbrush.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
It's really more about brushing your tongue, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Is that the key?
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah, you gotta you gotta, you gotta get in there
and scrub your tongue a little bit.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Well, flossing that helps you get the flossing.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Gets rid of a little gargling.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
In there, you know, something garlic and the onion gets
stuck between your teeth. You get the floss to get
rid of him and stuff.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, I don't know, like how that's a lot.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Let's do the math on this. So seven, seven to
ten times a day you get up in the morning,
you brush your teeth. Okay, he gets up early to
do the TV, so you brush you that's one. And
then what at lunch? He has a meal, brushes his
teeth again, that's two. Where are the And then let's
say he has dinner and then he brushes his teeth.
(23:34):
That's three. Before bed, he brushes his teeth. That's four.
Where are the other three? Where are the other three
or the other you know? You keep going here. He
says seven to ten, so there might be six more.
Speaker 7 (23:47):
I hear he works out like five to eight times
a day. So maybe every time he works out, he's
like brushing his teeth while he's on the treadmill.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Is he worried that somehow, like lifting weights, the weights
might have bad breath or something like that?
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Okay, just maybe he just combines them together just to
get it out of the way.
Speaker 6 (24:03):
Yeah, multitasking, man.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
He spent a lot of money on toothpaste, right, it's
a lot of toothpaste, a lot. He should get an
endorsement deal with a toothpaste company, FEMI in the Twin Cities, right, Since,
says Ben never thought the day would come that the
great John Gruden would be considered again for an NFL
coaching job, Well, it's a rumor, it's not a fact,
he says. They left him out for dead. But why
(24:30):
can't Gruden get both generational money in a settlement and
then go back to coaching. Well, the general rule is
if you get a settlement, you don't work for that
company ever again. Colin Kaepernick took a settlement from the NFL.
He's never worked for the NFL again. I call that
the turkey hole. I've had friends of mine that have
successfully sued radio companies and won tons of money, but
(24:54):
they have never been able to work in the business again,
because that's normally how it works now in the NFL.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Tons of money on radio. I mean, like you said
that they've suit and got tons of money radio.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
My radio friends, Yeah, yeah, a couple hundred thousand for radio.
That's a ton.
Speaker 8 (25:11):
Yeah, that's that's true.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
It ain't NFL money, but yeah, yeah, So anyway, all right,
we'll press on. We've got lame jokes with the lead.
We get the lame jokes. Do we have a weed
Man weed Man impersonator yet?
Speaker 6 (25:27):
Do we have?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
We do? All right, very we have somebody that will
play the weed man role for the lame jokes.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern, eleven pm Pacific and
Big News.
Speaker 5 (25:39):
I think I was Sam News. I was Sam asking
about this a lot for for some reason. We're weird reason.
But you now have your answer, I was saying. Ronnie
James has been clear to resume full basketball activities after
suffering a cardiac arrest back in July.
Speaker 6 (25:58):
It's gonna be.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
It's gonna be practicing next week and will appear in
a game shortly after. And lebron James has said he
will be in attendance for Broni's first collegiate game. Doesn't
matter if the Lakers are playing a game or not.
He will be at that game.
Speaker 7 (26:14):
What's that arena the USC where they play the Galen Center,
they need some they need some people to show up there.
So Lebron should go to like every home game and
they'd have like a sellout. I've seen some skimpy crowds
there and they got good teams.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
They usually play there, so.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
They signed autographs. You want to sign autographs at halftime?
Lebron will sign a few autographs.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Yeah, why not? Just him being there would be a
you know, spectacle.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
So if you own the Lakers, would you be happy
about this that Lebron's planning to take a night off?
There is that flex time? Is that vacation time? Is
that personal time?
Speaker 5 (26:44):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I don't know, I don't know. I did see. How
about the other story with Lebron? Did you see the
story about Madick Carter, his right hand man. I did, Yeah.
I used that it's uh likes doing a little GAMBLINGH wow, doesn't.
But he had to he had to cleanse his soul.
I guess right. He he had to. He admitted to
(27:07):
federal agents that he placed bets on NBA games and
other sports through an illegal bookie, a story that came
out this week.
Speaker 6 (27:15):
What was the wording on that an agent can't do that,
but a what is it?
Speaker 1 (27:19):
A A manager? Manager can reports indicated he plays bets
ranging from five to ten thousand dollars on approximately twenty
football and basketball games. Carter made it clear though, that
he could not remember placing any bets on the Lakers.
I'd say the same thing if I was talking to
a federal agent. You know, I really can't remember. I
(27:40):
cannot remember anyway. Is this like the wed thing? A
gambling's legal pretty much everywhere, but you know, California in
place in the Bible belt where it's not. And he
also said that his gambling has nothing to do with
Lebron nothing and denied betty for other people. So also
(28:04):
I saw accord to this story Scotty no tip and
Pippin also said that he placed the bet with this
this random guy that's under investigator, and you can read
more about that. It's available that story. There's more details,
but we don't have time to get into the weeds
on that. Let's go to the phones and we'll say
hello to let's see here, Mark the full name guy. Hello,
(28:27):
Mark the full name guy.
Speaker 5 (28:35):
When struck we we talked to Mark the full name guy.
I asked if you played the harmonica. He says he
couldn't because he just ate.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Why wouldn't you be able to play the harmonica?
Speaker 5 (28:46):
I guess food particles can get into the harmonica and
damage it.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
It's a big problem. Yeah, you know, I played the harmonica.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
That was nice.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
When I was younger, I played the harmonica. My mom,
give me a little plastic harmonica. Hey, what's up marked
the full name? Guy?
Speaker 9 (29:00):
How's he going? I'm just I've been listening to you
ripping on a quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks, mister Gino Smith,
and I don't quite get it, Ben Meller. I mean,
if you.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Don't, if you don't know football, that's your problem. That's
not my problem. You don't know football, that's not my problem.
Speaker 9 (29:26):
I don't have a problem with.
Speaker 10 (29:27):
Whatever you say.
Speaker 9 (29:28):
I just don't agree with it.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
You know what did I What did I say about
Geno Smith? That was in Ducks? Yeah, well you want
me to talk slower, You want to talk slower and
spell it out for you?
Speaker 10 (29:42):
You're in't sing, Ben Meller?
Speaker 1 (29:47):
All right, and then let's go through the numbers. All right,
So the last last last eighteen games, last eighteen games,
Gino Smith is played. He's got a nine to nine
record the last seventeen the last seventeen games. Well, I'm
telling you my eyeball say he blows and the stats
say he sucks. So what else is there? What else
(30:09):
is there? Tell me what else there is? Okay? I
watch him play, I say, the guy's a turn. And
then I watched the stats and they back up what
I see?
Speaker 10 (30:18):
Oh yeah, okay. A quarterback drums back to pats and
he gets clovered by a rushing a lineman on linebacker
and you stand there and go, oh he sucked.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Geta okay, all right? So what happened on the other
two drives? What happened hey, dumb, dumb? What happened on
the other two drives where they turn it over on
downs where if they scored on neither one of those drives,
they still would have won the game. What happened there, dummy?
Speaker 4 (30:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 10 (30:43):
What happened to you in high school? What's in our
quarterback that was just so good but you sucked on
the upfixive line?
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Mark, I've known you a long time. Mark. I want
to know, And I'm actually I'm asking this for Jed
who fled. Where where do you buy your quarterback? Knee
pads that you buy him on Amazon? Do you go
to the store to buy your quarterback nee pets? Like,
where do you buy your quarterback need pats? I really
want to Jed wants to know. Also, you are wrong.
Speaker 9 (31:14):
Giving me statistics.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
I am long. Listen, I get I told you by opinion.
You said I don't believe your opinion. I gave you
a stats. Okay, So this is where you do not
want to believe the truth. And you know you're you're
a fraud. You're a fraud.
Speaker 9 (31:31):
Bill Miller.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Yeah, all right, but I love Murder. Big fan of
Marked the full Name guy. Not a lot of guys,
what are young? Well, he is a coward. But oh,
you showed me Mark. You showed me. That's odd because
that's an old that's like Marked the full Name guy
when he lived in the Tenderloin district in San Francisco
(31:53):
type of call. Right when he's living with the vagrants
and the drug addicts and now he's living a good
life in Oregon.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Tenderloin he left.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
H Yeah, you should go there, Sam, you can.
Speaker 7 (32:03):
I've been nearby there. My buddy lives in San Francisco
and he's a couple of day rates down. Yeah, it's
got a lot of tents and poop.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
If you want to know what would happen if you
got rid of all police enforcement and just gave people
drugs all day, That's what happens right there. Uh anyway, Anton, Yes,
so wonderful, wonderful. Yes, he is the Ben Moucher. You
got Big Ben's lame jokes of the week for the
rest of the hour. Big Ben's lame Jokes the week.
We'll get to that and we will do it next.
Speaker 5 (32:30):
Bill Miller.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app search FSR to
listen live.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
It would be a blue smooth swept.
Speaker 9 (32:54):
It would be a bloom.
Speaker 5 (33:02):
Calling all Malard Militia foot soldiers, We need your helping
hand to gain new recruits. By posting and tagging Malor
Show related content on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and soul social networks,
you are the special ingredient needed to influence others to
join our mysterious nocturnal patoon known is the Ben at
Maalor Show. All I from the Tyraq dot com, Fox
Sports Radio Studios it's Ben Mallard.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Knock knock, who's there? Blame week? Blame week too. It's
Big Ben's lame joke of the week.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
And these are actual jokes by actual listeners of the show.
You know the drill here, we do it every week
and these jokes have been submitted. Thank you can send
jokes in for future episodes of the show. Care of
Benmalers Show at gmail dot com. Ben Malors Show at
gmail dot com. Put jokes in the headlines. And this
portional show brought you by Progressive Insurance Proguess it makes fun,
the easy and affordable get a multi policy discount by
(33:56):
combining your motorcycle, RV, boat, ATV and more, all your
protection at one place. Bundle land Save Progressive Doc and myself,
Justin and Cincinnati wanted us to get Vern Lungquist on
the podcast. I would love to get Vern lung Quist
on the podcast, but I don't I don't have his numbers,
so Uncle Vern, I'd love that. Have Uncle vernon. I'd
be great. Guy's alleging, but I don't know how to
get hold of him anyway. Uh, these are lame jokes.
(34:18):
We have a fake weed man, Eddie. Let's say Hello,
fake weed Man. Are you there? Fake weed Man?
Speaker 4 (34:24):
Ben?
Speaker 9 (34:25):
I love you?
Speaker 1 (34:27):
He Hello Lisa Lisa. Oh wow, I've got fake Lisa there.
Also amazing.
Speaker 6 (34:37):
I mean, like this maybe better than weed Man.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
I know.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
I was just gonna say that we have a we
have a better caller than weed Man. Okay, let's get
no jokes. Is he okay?
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Do we know where he iss?
Speaker 1 (34:47):
He lives on the streets of Miami.
Speaker 9 (34:49):
I'm living on the beach.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
I come down, we've been Uh, here we go. What
does Lizzo love about football?
Speaker 6 (35:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
All those turnovers, Eddie, all those turnovers. Did you know
that that Lizzo actually looks really good with nothing on?
Speaker 6 (35:14):
I did not know that.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Yeah, particularly when the lights are off. Yeah yeah, that's
George and Uvaldi. What does Lizzo and oj have in
common when they go to a restaurant?
Speaker 6 (35:28):
I don't know what do they have in common?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
They bring their own knife. They bring their own knife, Eddie,
that's what they do.
Speaker 9 (35:36):
You know was arrested?
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Is that right? I did not realize that that's Tony
in the bay. Why was Lizzo disappointed when she watched
my TV show?
Speaker 6 (35:48):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Well, for some reason, she thought it was a food
competition show Benny versus the Payne or the Penny screwed up.
I screwed up to Joe Brenden from Boston bats up
by me. All right, my god? All right, Chip and Maine.
I had one line. Chip and Maine says, what is
Lizzo's favorite part of Thanksgiving? Uh?
Speaker 6 (36:09):
Well, the food, I would think.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
No. No stuffing her face, Eddie stuffing her face. Why
did Lizzo have ostrich on Thanksgiving?
Speaker 6 (36:23):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
She wanted to make sure that she had leftovers for
the next day. Oh, econ Rosevild Minnesota. This one was
some chipping Maine. He says, how much money did Lizzo
make last year from name, image, and likeness?
Speaker 6 (36:39):
How much?
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Nil?
Speaker 6 (36:42):
Eddie nil?
Speaker 1 (36:44):
I he still nil Eddie spell nil ye? Anyway, why
does it? And why does Lizzo want to meet Weed man?
Come down, we've been I have no idea. She heard
he was a giant turn burger, she heard the cool
(37:07):
You got any jokes over there? Yeah?
Speaker 8 (37:09):
I got one, all right. Why is Dwayne Johnson the
only man that can turn lesbians?
Speaker 2 (37:15):
I don't know.
Speaker 8 (37:17):
Because rock beats scissors. That's from a job. That's from
John the Jailer.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Yeah, John the Jailer is back. He left the show.
I don't know why, but he's back. We love that
he's back with the show. Did you hear that weed
Man had surfing her for Thanksgiving?
Speaker 6 (37:37):
I did not hear that.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Yeah, he ate a big mac that washed up on
the beach, so he called it.
Speaker 9 (37:46):
Was it was easy to eat with no key.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
That's good from chipping made. Why did why did we
Man get fired from his last job at the calendar factory.
Speaker 6 (37:57):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
He took a day off.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Eddie took it day that's smartly crafted. That is that
is crafted?
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Well, that's Eke and Roseville, Minnesota. Why does weed Man's
flag football league call him the goat? I don't know
why because of his smell? Eddie they called him then
Tony from the bay. Why is weed Man hippie? Why
is he so upset with Discovers cash back debit?
Speaker 6 (38:24):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Well, he thought it was cash back debt is what
he thought. He read it wrong. That's have you found
your teeth?
Speaker 10 (38:35):
Need money?
Speaker 1 (38:36):
All right? Apparently not? Have you found your teeth?
Speaker 10 (38:39):
No?
Speaker 1 (38:40):
No, no, teeth all right? How ignorant is weed man, hippie,
I'm pretty ignorant. Yeah, he doesn't even realize all the
pots smoking and all of that stuff that's gotten where
he is today. He's a loser, that's what john and Youngstown.
Well that's not nice, Johnny.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
That Jo sucked.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Wow. Did you hear that Brian Finley planted a fruit
tree in his yard?
Speaker 6 (39:05):
I did not hear that.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Yes, someone told him the girl pair he planted that,
as George and Valdi. How does Hayes say good night
to his girlfriend?
Speaker 6 (39:15):
Oh god, with a hammer.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
No, he says rest in peace is what he says.
That's Tony in the bad, lame jokes of the weak.
Thank you, fake weed man. I love you all.
Hello and welcome. It's our num birth three. We had
to Sin City, lost wages, Nevada. And what do you
make of Mark Davis reports saying he's dreaming of a
John Gruden Raiders reunion, and there is a scenario where
the NFL would sign off on allowing John Gruden to
(00:20):
come back. Well, examine the conspiracy theory, see if we
buy it. Also, is Dak Prescott's pending baby a terrible
distraction for the Cowboys season, as one FS one broadcaster said,
And should forty nine Ers quarterback Brock Purty be downgraded
because of his fashion choices? We'll talk about that as well.
(00:41):
Here it is and lame jokes our number three. So
you're saying there's a chance, you're saying there's a chance. Welme.
In the beginning of another hour of the Ben Mavers Show,
we are in the air every beside one another as
(01:03):
we use evidence based reasoning coast to coast, port of
the border and beyond. On the vast and sublimely powerful
microphones of FS are am mondating live from the book.
It's an audio sportsbook in your ears. That's what we're
(01:24):
doing here. We are broadcasting live from the tyraq dot com.
Studios tyraq dot com will help you get there in
unmatched selection, fast free shipping, free road hazard protection, and
over ten thousand recommended installers. Tyrac dot com The Way
Tire Buying showbe and our lead this hour coming from
(01:47):
Lost Wages, Nevada. And I like this story. And you
know I enjoy a good conspiracy. I do. I like
sporty conspiracies. I enjoy a lot. I've had many arguments
over the years with my friend Sports with Coleman Baltimore
Media mogul Sports with Coleman that the night the lights
(02:07):
turned off at Camden Yards when Cal Ripkin was playing
the Seattle Mariners. I'm convinced that Cal got into a
fight with Kevin Costner and that's why that game was canceled.
I believe the draft lottery was fixed for Patrick Ewing.
I believe that to be true as well. There's several
other several other conspiracies that I completely buy into. And
there is a deep state conspiracy involving the Raiders. So
(02:30):
to get you cut up to speed our headline from Vegas,
the Raiders dumped Josh mcdangels. You knew about that. He
was not a jolly good fellow. He was let go
earlier this season, and they're writing with interim coach Antonio Piers,
and we hope Antonio Pierce gets the job. I happen
to know somebody that I grew up with who his
(02:51):
sister worked with, Antonio Peers when he was coaching in
high school and at Arizona State. So there's a kind
of a loose canne there. So I'm pulling for Antonio Pierce,
but he's a long shot to get the job, right,
He's a long shot to get the job permanently. Have
you been following though the palace intrigue, because this is
(03:11):
good and perhaps not, but we have learned that a
Raiders owner, Mark Davis, the guy that likes playing slot
machines at the airport, Mark Davis would love to bring
John Gruden back, some saying even desperately wants to bring
John and Gruden back as his head coach. And there
(03:33):
is a path for John Gruden to come back and
be allowed back in the good graces of the NFL,
even with all of those tawdry, naughty emails that upset
all the Wokesters, right, all the Wolkesters. So there's a
catch though, What is the catch? Well, here's where the
conspiracy comes in. I'll get to it more in a sec.
(03:54):
But John Gruden, in order to be allowed back as
coach or the Raiders in Vegas again, would have to
drop his litigation against the NFL for this to materialize.
So let us discuss the question, what do you make
of the reported path for John Gruden to get back
(04:18):
with the Raiders. So I've got jingle Balls, Iowa Farmer,
and the sugar Nut, and we will combine all of
these things together and we are going to make an
apple pie upset alert upse alert. At Thanksgiving, we had
a pumpkin pie. We had an apple pie. And I
(04:41):
ate more apple pie than pumpkin pie. And I'm not
afraid to admit I normally am a pumpkin pie guy,
but I went apple. I went big on the apple
this year, the big apple. All right. Now, first of all,
there's a lot underneath the surface in this story. To me,
there's a lot. As we micro am these things and
(05:02):
psychoanalyze these things. This whole thing between the NFL and
John Gruden got really ugly, really fast. And we know
the backstory that Roger Goodell and his minions. They did
John Gruden dirty, they did right. Those emails were leaked.
It was an intentional leak to the NFL friendly if
(05:23):
I remember the Washington not the Washington Wall Street Journal,
the Wall Street Journal, and I believe it was the
New York Times, if I'm not mistaken. Those are two
NFL friendly publications for the league office. And I don't
know for sure that that happens, but my belief is
it happened. I can believe anything I want. So John
was sacked if you've forgotten, for those naughty emails where
(05:45):
he was emailing buddies of his for the Washington Redskins
that contained the Big Three. The Big Three a racist,
misogynistic and homophobic verbiage. And Brent Musburger, who I had
one of the great gets ever on my podcast a
couple of years ago, Brent Musburger, You're looking live. He
(06:06):
said of the dismissal, that it was a professional hit
job by a paid assassin. That's what Musburger said of
how the NFL did John Gruden. So it has been
an open secret that the NFL encouraged strongly, some would say,
twisted Mark Davis's arm to make sure that John Gruden
(06:28):
was whacked, the guillotine fell down on him. And the
idea being floated that chucky boy is going to be
allowed back, that he will be allowed back into the
Fraternal Order of NFL Coaches under the condition that he
drops his lawsuit is intriguing because when you take the
onion and you start, you peel the onion back right,
(06:50):
you start peeling on your back. This is a telltale
sign if true, the NFL is in the dangers a
danger zone. Why because this would tell you if they
are willing to say, Okay, you know what, we know
you did the email thing, but it was a long
time ago. We'll clean up your your reputation and all that.
(07:14):
John Gruden must have them by the jingle balls. He must, right,
he must be holding the jingle balls or the NFL
lawyers for the league, they know whether or not they've
got a winnable case. The NFL legal arm knows whether
or not they've got enough, and then John Gruden can't win.
And if they're going to be given the atomic wedgie
(07:35):
by John Gruden in court, there's a lot of skeletons
that are buried in that treasure trove of emails, and
you talk about discovery in a legal proceeding, and the
NFL they know what's in those emails. Right, You can
do a simple search, type in bad words, different words
that are offensive to polite society, and you can figure
(07:56):
out that John Gruden likely one of hundreds of big
shots of the NFL that were fast and loose with
the language that if you said it outside, you might
not you know, might not be loved and all that.
And so if they're willing to cut Gruden a deal,
they're looking to limit liability. Now, the other part of this,
(08:17):
which is crazy to think about. If you're John Gruden,
you make the call. You're a lifetime football coach. You've
lived your life, you were beloved now you're still beloved
by a lot of people, but not by as many.
Does your heart desire going back to that life coaching
or do you want your final act in football to
(08:41):
slay the dragon that is the NFL and get a
ridiculous lottery like payout from the NFL. Do you go
for the jugular of big football? That's the question. It's
an interesting question. We'll see what John Gruden decides to do. Now. Secondly,
headline from the boob Tube where fs one personality Craig
(09:04):
Carton under fire. He said, what, Yeah, Craig Carton a
longtime radio gas bag. He's just doing TV now because
he's making like a million bucks a year. Good job
by him. But anyway, Creig Carton was talking about the
Cowboys Dak Prescott prior. This is earlier in the day,
prior to the Cowboys game which Dallas didn't win. They
beat Seattle in the Thursday night game. But the issue
(09:25):
of Dak Prescott becoming a fop came up. Prescott and
his girlfriend announced last week that the couple would be
welcoming in a baby daughter to the world, and Craig
Carton was opining about this and he said that Dak
Prescott becoming a father. He indicated it not married and
having a kid is a mistake and a quote terrible decision.
(09:48):
He questioned if Dak's girlfriend is a gold digger, and
that went over very well unless it didn't. But it
is interesting conversation. The general wide angle lens on. This
is Dak pres Scott's pending baby coming into the world.
Here a terrible destruction for the Cowboys season. So methinks
(10:09):
the baby thing actually pretty normal. I've been at this
for a while, not that I know anything. I just
do the Overnight Show. But these are young people in
their twenties and thirties. And if you look at the
cycle of life, right, the circle of life, that's normally
the time in your twenties and thirties when you're pro
(10:30):
creating and you are creating spawns. That's normally when you're
very fertile and you're enjoying the fruits of your labor
and your celebrity and all that. And wal Craig Carton
certainly pushed the envelope, which does make for good radio,
good television. It's not a mistake. I mean I go
that far, but I would tell you the process of
(10:51):
an Iowa farmer where they have to go out, they
have to plant the seeds, and then they have to
wait for the harvest. And that's kind of the way
I look at this, like this is a built in
excuse when inevitably Dak Prescott, who's the epitome of El
Stinko in Big Games, goes out there and lays an egg,
(11:11):
and there'll be somebody bleeding heart blogger or columnist that
will write and say, well, Dak was distracted, but it's
okay because he's going to be a daddy and that's
all right, that's more important, and they'll just brush aside
the fact that he went out there and played like
a total turn burger in a playoff game for the Cowboys.
So he's got that built in excuse because in reality,
(11:34):
the whole distraction thing, you have to be able to
compartmentalize in any job, in anything in life, whether you're
a truck driver and you're having a child, or whether
you're a quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. Now, as for
the gold digger line, some people very offended by that.
I don't even think that's outrageous, and I'll tell you why.
There are plenty of examples of baby mama drama among
(12:01):
professional athletes and women who they stoop and baby pops
out and then they end up, you know, they have
a falling out, and it's to ching chi ching chi ching,
chi ching ch ching. It's eighteen years of amazing payments
every month, and so that does happen all the time.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Maybe these they're lovebirds, they love each other, who knows.
I hope they do, but you never know, all right,
Final five. Finally, so I had a email from Ron
from Oakland, and I thought I would address this. I
could have done this later in the hour, but I
thought I do this right now. So Ron listens to
the show, and God bless him. He did say he
(12:40):
watches Benny versus the Penny, so thank you times two.
He did not say he listens to the fifth hour podcast,
so I won't thank him times three. But anyways, Guy
Ron said any he was listening to the Colin Cowherd
show and he wanted my opinion on something that cowhard
had said about the brock Purty. And I did not
hear this lie he sent me. Ron sent me a
(13:01):
clip from the interweb of our colleague here at Fox
Sports Radio cow Herd, who was praising I'll just give
you the thumbnail recap. So he was praising Jalen Hurts,
celebrating Jalen Hurts for the way he deals with the media,
claimed he was professional and manicured. But of course, the
main point Cowherd made was he had his hat on
(13:22):
facing forward. And then there was a clip of Rock
Party who had his hat on backwards, which is a
major pet peeve of Cowherd. And he then went on
to say that he wants his quarterbacks. According to Ron,
when he sent me the quarterbacks to be adults, he
implied that brock Purty was like a frat boy because
(13:45):
he wears his hat backwards at news conferences and whatever.
So real quick, should forty nine er quarterback brock Purty
be downgraded because of his fashion choices? So I'm gonna
shake my head on this. Brock Purty is the greatest
system quarterback of this generation of the modern NFL. He's
(14:07):
also a kid. I didn't meet brock Purty, but we
did cross in the hallways at Radio Row before the
Super Bowl earlier this year, and brock Purty I call
him the baby Face Assassin because he looked like he
was twelve years old and I'm walking and it was
(14:28):
actually Doug Gottlieb who said, can you believe that's brock Purty?
And I said, who are you talking about? And then
he pointed and I was like what, I guess he
was on Gottlieb Show, and so I was like, wow,
you're kidding me. Good for him. So yeah, I mean
the long, young looking guy. But you know, Colin Coward,
(14:48):
he's the headliner. He's the big kahoon. Around here, he's
the big ragou and all that, But on this one
he's a ma sugunah and he's peddling michigos, as my
grandfather would say, because this is just his issue and
his weak spot and all that. It is the Ben
Mallord Show, the Ben Mahlor Show. As we continue on,
speakeasy rules aren't effective. You'd like to be part, you
(15:09):
can call up, scream, shout, yell, all that stuff, give
us a buzz. Also available on x at Ben Mallor,
That is at Ben Mahllor. If you would like to
be part of the program. We might read your comments
on the air there as well, so try to keep
them broadcast friendly. Time. Now for the Mallor Riddle of
(15:30):
the Day. And here's the Mallard Riddle of the Day.
You can answer this on next type in hashtag Mallar Riddle.
Every once in a while there's a trending topic with
our name in it because of the p ones, the
big core guys that listen every night and very interactive.
So here we go Mallard Riddle of the Day. NFL
Hall of Famer Shannon Sharp recently revealed that he blanks
(15:52):
on average somewhere between seven and ten times a day.
Hall of Famer Shannon Sharp recently revealed that he blanks
on average somewhere between seven and ten times a day.
That is the Mallord riddle of the day. The answer,
We'll get to it. We'll do it next.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
It's always an honored to be able to represent the
state of Iowa.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
Minus What's Good, Jollisha Maine Man, Michael Smith, esteemed NFL
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(16:44):
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Speaker 5 (17:22):
Join the curious world of the Ben Malor Show online.
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Speaker 6 (17:45):
I don't even really work here at.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
Li from the tire Ac dot Com, Fox Sports Radio Studios.
It's Ben Mallor.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Coming up later this hour, Big Ben's lame Jokes of
the week and if you'd like it, the role of
weed Man. He's not answering his phone. Maybe his phone
got stolen again. I don't know what's going on with him,
our favorite vagrant from Miami. So if you want to
do the weed Man, laugh and give us a buzz
and maybe we'll have one somebody sitting the weed man
We'll call the weed Man chair. We talked about this
(18:19):
conspiracy theory that there is a path for John Gruden
to come back and coach in the NFL if he
was willing to drop his lawsuit, the NFL might look
the other way allow him to come back and coach
the Raiders. Now, Justin in Cincinnati says there's a better
chance of Vin Scully calling the first game of next
Dodger season than John Gruden coaching again in the NFL.
(18:42):
And I would love to see Vin call another game.
I think that would be great, but difficult for him
to do that at this point. David the friy Daddy
in Pennsylvania says, the NFL, what a bunch of idiots.
The NFL knows they are screwed. Gruden will win a lawsuit,
he says, in an instance, I don't know about that
mentions freedom of speech, Gruden should say, fu well, David.
(19:04):
The problem with that is, like the whole freedom of
speech thing only applies against the government. You don't You
don't have freedom of speech against your employee. The argument
Gruden would have is that he was not an NFL
employee at the time. He was a broadcaster when those
emails were sent. H you know, I don't know if
that would stand up in court, Salsa wrote in he
(19:24):
says Blisville, Arkansas, which was mentioned by Dad Gummett earlier
in the show. He says, I've been there many times.
I fifty five between there and Memphis is great for speeding.
So thank you, Salsa. I'll take your take.
Speaker 6 (19:41):
Your word for it.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
We have to pay off the mallor riddle of the day,
and here is the malor riddle of the day. Hall
of Famer Shannon Sharp recently revealed that he blanks on
average somewhere between seven and ten times a day. Seven
and ten times a day, he said, Fudgie said he
he watches Midget frankety blank. Who else do we have down?
(20:05):
I can't read that here. Freddy says he watches Benny
versus the Penny seven times a day. Absolutely flushes the
toilet seven times a day. Guess by Jeremy in Minnesota.
He hits the curb wall parallel parking seven to ten
times a day. Late night drug tester he eats apples
from Matt the Warrior Raider fan. How dare you page down.
(20:28):
Alf the alien opiter says he daydreams about movie parodies.
That's his dream. He prank calls Skip Bayless from Kirby.
Yeah I heard, God says he just yells at Skip
for no reason, and he also does something else of
a manipulative measure. Justin in Cincinnati thought he was being funny,
(20:50):
but he actually I think got it right. Who else
do we have here? Stevie Meatball says he shoots blanks
seven to ten times today, does sit ups. Guess by
Eke in Roseville, Minnesota. Who else do we have? Page down?
That's the here Salsa got it right, bad job by him.
(21:13):
Who else do we have a lot of Skip Bayless lines?
A lot of sexual act lines that were said? Here
goes to the bathroom from cool Mort eats fruit by
the foot guessed by Rory. That is his answer. Who
else do we have? Page down? Benito the cowboy fan
(21:35):
says he waxes on, waxes off ten times a day.
Very funny, very funny. Bong rips guess by Slug in Vegas.
That's his answer. Inca Terror, the classically trained musician from
upstate New York, says he recites the Mallard militia oath.
I did see Skeeter is out there, and Skeeter's the
(21:58):
reason we have the mal Oh he is oh masshole?
Mickey says, the answer is squirtz. That that is the answer.
All right, Eddie, do you have an answer the mather
Riddle of the day. All of Famer Shannon Sharp revealed
that he blanks on average somewhere between seven and ten
(22:18):
times a day, takes.
Speaker 6 (22:20):
Human growth hormone.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Oh you mean what there? Human growth hormones? Is that correct?
Mm hmm, No, that's not correct. Correct answer. Shannon Sharp
revealed he brushes his teeth seven to ten times a day,
seven to ten times a day because he's got the
he's got this paranoia of bad breath. Maybe he's got halatosis.
(22:45):
You think he's got halatosis. I don't know, Yes, I do.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
He's got some nice chompers. I'll tell you that he must.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Spend a lot on the toothbrush. Right, that's gonna hit.
I get a good toothbrush.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
It's really more about brushing your tongue, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Is that the key?
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah, you gotta you gotta, you gotta get in there
and scrub your tongue a little bit.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Well, flossing that helps you get the flossing.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Gets rid of a little gargling.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
In there, you know, something garlic and the onion gets
stuck between your teeth. You get the floss to get
rid of him and stuff.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, I don't know, like how that's a lot.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Let's do the math on this. So seven, seven to
ten times a day you get up in the morning,
you brush your teeth. Okay, he gets up early to
do the TV, so you brush you that's one. And
then what at lunch? He has a meal, brushes his
teeth again, that's two. Where are the And then let's
say he has dinner and then he brushes his teeth.
(23:34):
That's three. Before bed, he brushes his teeth. That's four.
Where are the other three? Where are the other three
or the other you know? You keep going here. He
says seven to ten, so there might be six more.
Speaker 7 (23:47):
I hear he works out like five to eight times
a day. So maybe every time he works out, he's
like brushing his teeth while he's on the treadmill.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Is he worried that somehow, like lifting weights, the weights
might have bad breath or something like that?
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Okay, just maybe he just combines them together just to
get it out of the way.
Speaker 6 (24:03):
Yeah, multitasking, man.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
He spent a lot of money on toothpaste, right, it's
a lot of toothpaste, a lot. He should get an
endorsement deal with a toothpaste company, FEMI in the Twin Cities, right, Since,
says Ben never thought the day would come that the
great John Gruden would be considered again for an NFL
coaching job, Well, it's a rumor, it's not a fact,
he says. They left him out for dead. But why
(24:30):
can't Gruden get both generational money in a settlement and
then go back to coaching. Well, the general rule is
if you get a settlement, you don't work for that
company ever again. Colin Kaepernick took a settlement from the NFL.
He's never worked for the NFL again. I call that
the turkey hole. I've had friends of mine that have
successfully sued radio companies and won tons of money, but
(24:54):
they have never been able to work in the business again,
because that's normally how it works now in the NFL.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Tons of money on radio. I mean, like you said
that they've suit and got tons of money radio.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
My radio friends, Yeah, yeah, a couple hundred thousand for radio.
That's a ton.
Speaker 8 (25:11):
Yeah, that's that's true.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
It ain't NFL money, but yeah, yeah, So anyway, all right,
we'll press on. We've got lame jokes with the lead.
We get the lame jokes. Do we have a weed
Man weed Man impersonator yet?
Speaker 6 (25:27):
Do we have?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
We do? All right, very we have somebody that will
play the weed man role for the lame jokes.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern, eleven pm Pacific and
Big News.
Speaker 5 (25:39):
I think I was Sam News. I was Sam asking
about this a lot for for some reason. We're weird reason.
But you now have your answer, I was saying. Ronnie
James has been clear to resume full basketball activities after
suffering a cardiac arrest back in July.
Speaker 6 (25:58):
It's gonna be.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
It's gonna be practicing next week and will appear in
a game shortly after. And lebron James has said he
will be in attendance for Broni's first collegiate game. Doesn't
matter if the Lakers are playing a game or not.
He will be at that game.
Speaker 7 (26:14):
What's that arena the USC where they play the Galen Center,
they need some they need some people to show up there.
So Lebron should go to like every home game and
they'd have like a sellout. I've seen some skimpy crowds
there and they got good teams.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
They usually play there, so.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
They signed autographs. You want to sign autographs at halftime?
Lebron will sign a few autographs.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Yeah, why not? Just him being there would be a
you know, spectacle.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
So if you own the Lakers, would you be happy
about this that Lebron's planning to take a night off?
There is that flex time? Is that vacation time? Is
that personal time?
Speaker 5 (26:44):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I don't know, I don't know. I did see. How
about the other story with Lebron? Did you see the
story about Madick Carter, his right hand man. I did, Yeah.
I used that it's uh likes doing a little GAMBLINGH wow, doesn't.
But he had to he had to cleanse his soul.
I guess right. He he had to. He admitted to
(27:07):
federal agents that he placed bets on NBA games and
other sports through an illegal bookie, a story that came
out this week.
Speaker 6 (27:15):
What was the wording on that an agent can't do that,
but a what is it?
Speaker 1 (27:19):
A A manager? Manager can reports indicated he plays bets
ranging from five to ten thousand dollars on approximately twenty
football and basketball games. Carter made it clear though, that
he could not remember placing any bets on the Lakers.
I'd say the same thing if I was talking to
a federal agent. You know, I really can't remember. I
(27:40):
cannot remember anyway. Is this like the wed thing? A
gambling's legal pretty much everywhere, but you know, California in
place in the Bible belt where it's not. And he
also said that his gambling has nothing to do with
Lebron nothing and denied betty for other people. So also
(28:04):
I saw accord to this story Scotty no tip and
Pippin also said that he placed the bet with this
this random guy that's under investigator, and you can read
more about that. It's available that story. There's more details,
but we don't have time to get into the weeds
on that. Let's go to the phones and we'll say
hello to let's see here, Mark the full name guy. Hello,
(28:27):
Mark the full name guy.
Speaker 5 (28:35):
When struck we we talked to Mark the full name guy.
I asked if you played the harmonica. He says he
couldn't because he just ate.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Why wouldn't you be able to play the harmonica?
Speaker 5 (28:46):
I guess food particles can get into the harmonica and
damage it.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
It's a big problem. Yeah, you know, I played the harmonica.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
That was nice.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
When I was younger, I played the harmonica. My mom,
give me a little plastic harmonica. Hey, what's up marked
the full name? Guy?
Speaker 9 (29:00):
How's he going? I'm just I've been listening to you
ripping on a quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks, mister Gino Smith,
and I don't quite get it, Ben Meller. I mean,
if you.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Don't, if you don't know football, that's your problem. That's
not my problem. You don't know football, that's not my problem.
Speaker 9 (29:26):
I don't have a problem with.
Speaker 10 (29:27):
Whatever you say.
Speaker 9 (29:28):
I just don't agree with it.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
You know what did I What did I say about
Geno Smith? That was in Ducks? Yeah, well you want
me to talk slower, You want to talk slower and
spell it out for you?
Speaker 10 (29:42):
You're in't sing, Ben Meller?
Speaker 1 (29:47):
All right, and then let's go through the numbers. All right,
So the last last last eighteen games, last eighteen games,
Gino Smith is played. He's got a nine to nine
record the last seventeen the last seventeen games. Well, I'm
telling you my eyeball say he blows and the stats
say he sucks. So what else is there? What else
(30:09):
is there? Tell me what else there is? Okay? I
watch him play, I say, the guy's a turn. And
then I watched the stats and they back up what
I see?
Speaker 10 (30:18):
Oh yeah, okay. A quarterback drums back to pats and
he gets clovered by a rushing a lineman on linebacker
and you stand there and go, oh he sucked.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Geta okay, all right? So what happened on the other
two drives? What happened hey, dumb, dumb? What happened on
the other two drives where they turn it over on
downs where if they scored on neither one of those drives,
they still would have won the game. What happened there, dummy?
Speaker 4 (30:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 10 (30:43):
What happened to you in high school? What's in our
quarterback that was just so good but you sucked on
the upfixive line?
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Mark, I've known you a long time. Mark. I want
to know, And I'm actually I'm asking this for Jed
who fled. Where where do you buy your quarterback? Knee
pads that you buy him on Amazon? Do you go
to the store to buy your quarterback nee pets? Like,
where do you buy your quarterback need pats? I really
want to Jed wants to know. Also, you are wrong.
Speaker 9 (31:14):
Giving me statistics.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
I am long. Listen, I get I told you by opinion.
You said I don't believe your opinion. I gave you
a stats. Okay, So this is where you do not
want to believe the truth. And you know you're you're
a fraud. You're a fraud.
Speaker 9 (31:31):
Bill Miller.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Yeah, all right, but I love Murder. Big fan of
Marked the full Name guy. Not a lot of guys,
what are young? Well, he is a coward. But oh,
you showed me Mark. You showed me. That's odd because
that's an old that's like Marked the full Name guy
when he lived in the Tenderloin district in San Francisco
(31:53):
type of call. Right when he's living with the vagrants
and the drug addicts and now he's living a good
life in Oregon.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Tenderloin he left.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
H Yeah, you should go there, Sam, you can.
Speaker 7 (32:03):
I've been nearby there. My buddy lives in San Francisco
and he's a couple of day rates down. Yeah, it's
got a lot of tents and poop.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
If you want to know what would happen if you
got rid of all police enforcement and just gave people
drugs all day, That's what happens right there. Uh anyway, Anton, Yes,
so wonderful, wonderful. Yes, he is the Ben Moucher. You
got Big Ben's lame jokes of the week for the
rest of the hour. Big Ben's lame Jokes the week.
We'll get to that and we will do it next.
Speaker 5 (32:30):
Bill Miller.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app search FSR to
listen live.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
It would be a blue smooth swept.
Speaker 9 (32:54):
It would be a bloom.
Speaker 5 (33:02):
Calling all Malard Militia foot soldiers, We need your helping
hand to gain new recruits. By posting and tagging Malor
Show related content on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and soul social networks,
you are the special ingredient needed to influence others to
join our mysterious nocturnal patoon known is the Ben at
Maalor Show. All I from the Tyraq dot com, Fox
Sports Radio Studios it's Ben Mallard.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Knock knock, who's there? Blame week? Blame week too. It's
Big Ben's lame joke of the week.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
And these are actual jokes by actual listeners of the show.
You know the drill here, we do it every week
and these jokes have been submitted. Thank you can send
jokes in for future episodes of the show. Care of
Benmalers Show at gmail dot com. Ben Malors Show at
gmail dot com. Put jokes in the headlines. And this
portional show brought you by Progressive Insurance Proguess it makes fun,
the easy and affordable get a multi policy discount by
(33:56):
combining your motorcycle, RV, boat, ATV and more, all your
protection at one place. Bundle land Save Progressive Doc and myself,
Justin and Cincinnati wanted us to get Vern Lungquist on
the podcast. I would love to get Vern lung Quist
on the podcast, but I don't I don't have his numbers,
so Uncle Vern, I'd love that. Have Uncle vernon. I'd
be great. Guy's alleging, but I don't know how to
get hold of him anyway. Uh, these are lame jokes.
(34:18):
We have a fake weed man, Eddie. Let's say Hello,
fake weed Man. Are you there? Fake weed Man?
Speaker 4 (34:24):
Ben?
Speaker 9 (34:25):
I love you?
Speaker 1 (34:27):
He Hello Lisa Lisa. Oh wow, I've got fake Lisa there.
Also amazing.
Speaker 6 (34:37):
I mean, like this maybe better than weed Man.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
I know.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
I was just gonna say that we have a we
have a better caller than weed Man. Okay, let's get
no jokes. Is he okay?
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Do we know where he iss?
Speaker 1 (34:47):
He lives on the streets of Miami.
Speaker 9 (34:49):
I'm living on the beach.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
I come down, we've been Uh, here we go. What
does Lizzo love about football?
Speaker 6 (35:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
All those turnovers, Eddie, all those turnovers. Did you know
that that Lizzo actually looks really good with nothing on?
Speaker 6 (35:14):
I did not know that.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Yeah, particularly when the lights are off. Yeah yeah, that's
George and Uvaldi. What does Lizzo and oj have in
common when they go to a restaurant?
Speaker 6 (35:28):
I don't know what do they have in common?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
They bring their own knife. They bring their own knife, Eddie,
that's what they do.
Speaker 9 (35:36):
You know was arrested?
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Is that right? I did not realize that that's Tony
in the bay. Why was Lizzo disappointed when she watched
my TV show?
Speaker 6 (35:48):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Well, for some reason, she thought it was a food
competition show Benny versus the Payne or the Penny screwed up.
I screwed up to Joe Brenden from Boston bats up
by me. All right, my god? All right, Chip and Maine.
I had one line. Chip and Maine says, what is
Lizzo's favorite part of Thanksgiving? Uh?
Speaker 6 (36:09):
Well, the food, I would think.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
No. No stuffing her face, Eddie stuffing her face. Why
did Lizzo have ostrich on Thanksgiving?
Speaker 6 (36:23):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
She wanted to make sure that she had leftovers for
the next day. Oh, econ Rosevild Minnesota. This one was
some chipping Maine. He says, how much money did Lizzo
make last year from name, image, and likeness?
Speaker 6 (36:39):
How much?
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Nil?
Speaker 6 (36:42):
Eddie nil?
Speaker 1 (36:44):
I he still nil Eddie spell nil ye? Anyway, why
does it? And why does Lizzo want to meet Weed man?
Come down, we've been I have no idea. She heard
he was a giant turn burger, she heard the cool
(37:07):
You got any jokes over there? Yeah?
Speaker 8 (37:09):
I got one, all right. Why is Dwayne Johnson the
only man that can turn lesbians?
Speaker 2 (37:15):
I don't know.
Speaker 8 (37:17):
Because rock beats scissors. That's from a job. That's from
John the Jailer.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Yeah, John the Jailer is back. He left the show.
I don't know why, but he's back. We love that
he's back with the show. Did you hear that weed
Man had surfing her for Thanksgiving?
Speaker 6 (37:37):
I did not hear that.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Yeah, he ate a big mac that washed up on
the beach, so he called it.
Speaker 9 (37:46):
Was it was easy to eat with no key.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
That's good from chipping made. Why did why did we
Man get fired from his last job at the calendar factory.
Speaker 6 (37:57):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
He took a day off.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Eddie took it day that's smartly crafted. That is that
is crafted?
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Well, that's Eke and Roseville, Minnesota. Why does weed Man's
flag football league call him the goat? I don't know
why because of his smell? Eddie they called him then
Tony from the bay. Why is weed Man hippie? Why
is he so upset with Discovers cash back debit?
Speaker 6 (38:24):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Well, he thought it was cash back debt is what
he thought. He read it wrong. That's have you found
your teeth?
Speaker 10 (38:35):
Need money?
Speaker 1 (38:36):
All right? Apparently not? Have you found your teeth?
Speaker 10 (38:39):
No?
Speaker 1 (38:40):
No, no, teeth all right? How ignorant is weed man, hippie,
I'm pretty ignorant. Yeah, he doesn't even realize all the
pots smoking and all of that stuff that's gotten where
he is today. He's a loser, that's what john and Youngstown.
Well that's not nice, Johnny.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
That Jo sucked.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Wow. Did you hear that Brian Finley planted a fruit
tree in his yard?
Speaker 6 (39:05):
I did not hear that.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Yes, someone told him the girl pair he planted that,
as George and Valdi. How does Hayes say good night
to his girlfriend?
Speaker 6 (39:15):
Oh god, with a hammer.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
No, he says rest in peace is what he says.
That's Tony in the bad, lame jokes of the weak.
Thank you, fake weed man. I love you all.
Host
Ben Maller
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