April 19, 2024 • 38 mins
Ben Maller talks about 76ers Paul Reed calling the Knicks an "easier" opponent, Victor Wembanyama saying other NBA stars have reached out to him to join forces, Lame Jokes of the Week, and more!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome. It's our number three. As we live
the rough life on the original Recipe Mallard podcast Spinning
Around and this hour pro Bouncy Ball. The seventy six
ers have a backup named Paul Reid, and he called
the Knicks a quote easier close quote opponent. Is this
a big deal, a little deal or no deal? Also
(00:24):
wemby Victor wemban Yama says other NBA stars have reached
out wanting to join forces with him. Give me your
reaction to that one, and Bronnie James apparently was held
back by USC According to some NBA scouts, does that
pass the nose test? We'll get to all that and
(00:45):
much more right now with a lot of barking. It's
our number three and bite my add the OJ Simpson
radio ros here it is our three. It is a
case of hoops his stereo. Welcome in the beginning of
another hour of the Ben Malor Show. We are in
(01:07):
the air everywhere alongside as we split the difference coast
to coast, port of the border and beyond on the
vast and mishlessly powerful microphones of FSR AMMA nating live
from the machine the audio vending machine of hot takes.
(01:29):
You put a couple of quarters in there, a couple
of shekels, and you are guaranteed to get at least
one or two hot takes. It's it's it's a guarantee,
it's gonna happen, and one per one hundred percent. We're
broadcasting live from the tyrack dot com studios. Tyraq dot
com will help you get there in unmatched selection, fast,
(01:50):
free shipping, free road hazard protection and over ten thousand
recommended in stars tyraq dot com. The way tire by
shuld be as we topple down another hour. By the way,
Donkey Sausage very impressed with that ten thousand number. He
thinks that's pretty cool, says that's a lot. So hoops
(02:11):
is stere Are League coming from the NBA postseason begins
this weekend and dayline on this Philadelphia. After beating the
Miami basketball team in the playing game, the Philadelphia basketball
team is set to play the Knickerbockers in the first
round of the playoffs. These teams haven't met in the
postseason since back in the nineteen eighties. Holy crap, nineteen
(02:33):
eighty nine, last time these teams met. Charles Barkley was
a beloved Round Mound rebound and as long ago before
he became the TNT broadcast, of course, but he's playing
for the Sixers at the time, So we did not
anticipate talking about this because there's some playing games, but
who cares about those? We did not anticipate talking about
this a particular matchup, but thanks to a backup with
(02:58):
Loose Slips, And we know loose Lips might think ships,
but they certainly helped talk radio. Here we are. So
if you've not solved the riddle yet, let me help
you out. There's a player by the name of Paul Reid.
You probably don't know who that is, but Paul Reid
is a backup center on the Sixers, and he lobbed
a verbal hand grenade the direction of Gotham. He was
(03:22):
asked on a Fledgling podcast whether or not the Sixers
wanted to avoid playing the top seeded Boston Celtics in
the first round of the playoffs by winning the playing
game they match up with the Nickson, they avoid Boston.
He said, quote, Oh man, I feel like we ain't
ducking no smoke, But yeah, I like that quoe. We
(03:45):
ain't duck in no smoke, but he said, yeah, we
wanted the Knicks matchup. Of course that's the easier team.
Now the reaction to this, what do you think the
reaction has been to this? Yeah, that's right. O MG,
pearl clutching aunt pearl. Oh, those comments led to hyperventiling.
(04:06):
You said the thing you can't say at the time,
you can't say it. So let us discuss the question
is seventy six Ers center Paul Reid the calling of
the Knicks an easier opponent, a big deal, a little deal,
or no deal. So I've got polygraph, star, trek, and mouthpiece,
(04:28):
and we'll combine all these things together and we are
going to make the last hurdle that we will jump
over in this steeple chase. So, first of all, this
one is firmly in the no deal category. Not little deal,
not certainly not a big deal. It's a no deal.
(04:50):
And for those that are nervous and they're they're oh,
I can't believe it all. I'd like to think there's
not many of those people left. But based on the comments,
there are a lot of people that I call these
people scarecrows. If I only had a brain, if I
only had a brain. My goodness, right, this is why
we can't have nice things, and this is why our
athletes have been programmed to speak in word salads, salad
(05:14):
of cliches, buzzwords and not croutons on top catchphrases. So
I would put Paul Reid's take Paul Reid's take in
the malor polygraph test. I've done that and it spit back.
No lies detected on the polygraph. And the reason the
reason that that came back that way is because what
(05:37):
this guy said logical, the l word logical. Jason Tatum
and the Boston Celtics are the NBA's betting favorites. There.
They were fourteen games better during the regular season, if
that matters, but fourteen games better than the Knickerbockers. The
Knicks also, one of their top players ain't playing in
the playoffs. He gone. So it's the Jalen Brunson Show
(06:00):
and some other random HOI POLLOI will try to take
down Philadelphia and the bulletin board material thing. If you're
new to the show, I don't drink that kool aid,
I don't eat that steak. I don't this is fertilizer.
Now I realize that I'm really punching myself right in
(06:22):
the nose. I'm boom right in the nose. Because it's
good for the media business. It's good for talk shows, podcasts,
it's good for the media business. Oh, I can't believe
he said that. Oh my god. But in terms of
actual wins and losses, wins and losses, it's pointless. And
I'll tell you why it's pointless. Because Philadelphia, should they
beat the Knicks and Joel Embiid plays, well, whatever they
(06:43):
win the series, it won't be brought up. But if
the Knickerbockers win, then it'll be well, they won because
of this guy. Nobody had ever heard of saying what
he said. These people are detached from reality. It's after
the fact. Adding on another later to the story. Now, secondly,
we go to the Alamo, where San Antonio plays pro
(07:07):
basketball and the rookie sensation from the European nation. Victor
webban Yama suggested this week that some players he didn't
name names, but some players have reached out to him
and expressed interest in joining forces. Wemby says other NBA
stars have contacted him about getting together. Give me your
(07:29):
reaction to this one, all right? So my reaction is
that NBA players, the default setting for NBA players is
to follow what I call the Star Trek approach. They're
all cut out of the same mold, the same mold
here they want to go to strange new worlds, but
(07:50):
they want to go there on the back of stars.
They want to ride the coattails of stars. Resistance is futile.
Hoopsters have already been trying to become space explorers with Wemby,
they're looking to form Voltron and put a super team together.
Now I question whether or not they would like to
do this. In San Antonio, the Spurs had the NBA's
(08:12):
second worst record. Greg Popovich is older than dirt san Antonio.
It's not Salt Lake, but it's it's not exactly exotic
in San Antonio. Asked Charles Barkley what he thinks of
San Antonio. There's a better chance that Wemby gets recruited
out of the Alamo and goes to a different team. Now, wait,
(08:32):
there's more. Now. When min Yama also was very braggadocious,
he said that he is quote immune to all the
bad things. You know this is these are my words.
The things that NBA players get in trouble for quote continues.
He said, like distractions like partying, alcohol, drugs. The Parisian
(08:53):
prodigy said that he would never do this, and why
would I ever do that? He said, I don't have
nothing to compensate for. I don't think that's proper English.
But he's from France. Because I choose to face everything
that we have inside of us. That's the quote. So
my advice is to clip and say, because it's impossible
(09:17):
to miss all three of those things, like the drugs,
the alcohol, the partying. He's very difficult in that world,
in that ecosystem to avoid all that, right. And remember,
I'll give you an example. I was doing my website
and there was a young high school player out of
Georgia named Dwight Howard. And Dwight Howard, I don't know
(09:39):
if you remember this, but he when he's coming out
of high school and he's gonna be the number one
pick in the draft, he wanted the NBA to put
a cross on their logo. On the logo, and Dwight's
now played a full career, he's not playing anymore. He
ended up getting across. But it was cross dressing, is
(09:59):
what It's fine, right, now you know who am I
to judge that? And I think him and Kitty in
his NBA career. So people do change, they evolve whatever
floats your boat. And so yeah, he went from wanting
a cross on the logo to going with the cross dressing.
Oscar de la Hoya approves with that message. All right,
(10:19):
final thought, So to Lebron's layer we go. Am I
going to talk about the Nuggets and Lakers? No, but
I was reading a claim that an NBA scout or
multiple NBA scouts think that Bronnie James, the spawn of
bron Bronnie James, was playing out of position at USC,
(10:41):
that the coaching staff, Andy Enfeld sandbagged Bronnie James, and
the reason Bronnie James played like ass is because of
the coach and it's not his fault. The very rotund
Brian Winhorse said he spoke to NBA scouts and they
felt that the University of Southern California did essentially Bronnie
(11:04):
James dirty by playing him as a wing instead of
a point gud. I guess he didn't have a wing
or a prayer. So Bronnie James, acording to the story,
held back by USC, according to NBA scouts, I say
that in their quotes. Does this pass the nose test?
I'm sniffing, no way, Jose, and my name is not Jose.
(11:31):
This report came from let me guess here, I'm gonna
go with Lebron's mouthpiece. It came from Lebron's mouthpiece. And
what do I know. I just do the Overnight show.
But I do know from what I've heard anyway, Lebron
James and his camp, his posse have many useful idiots
(11:52):
in the media, tody's that will repeat whatever they are
told like good little robots. It's propaganda and it's annoying too.
It's coddling. I get it, it's Lebron's kid. You gotta
look out for your kid. But this is just reeks
of nonsense, right, coddling the King's kid, and it's designed
to avoid accountability. How about the fact that Bronnie James
(12:15):
was given an opportunity to play, and I know he
had some health stuff, but he played and he didn't
play well. He didn't the time he got on the court,
he didn't play well. But those stone is fold and
then there's the what about it? And what about this?
What about that what about just annoying. It's unbecoming. That's
the way I was. Unbecoming is the way I would
(12:35):
describe it. It is the Ben Maller Show. That's what
this is. Gonna somewhat big hour. Lame jokes of the
week coming up a little bit later this hour. Those
are jokes sing by actual listeners to the show. We
did not have lame jokes last week because I was
I was elsewhere, so well, the jokes will return, I know.
(12:55):
That's that's very exciting that we're gonna have the lame jokes.
Calm down time now for the mallor riddle of the day.
And here's the mallor riddle of a little serendipity on
this We were talking about this cat earlier. Unless we
were not. We were the Utah Jazz and the NHL
team to be named later owner in Salt Lake, Ryan
Smith is believed to be the only NBA owner who
(13:20):
can blank. Again. Utah Jazz owner Ryan Smith believed to
be the only NBA owner who can blank. That is
the mallor riddle of the day. If you want to answer,
go on X at Ben Mahler. We'll get to the
answer and we will do it next.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Two NBA Insiders podcasting twice a week to plug you
right into the NBA Grape five.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
All happening in only one place. This League Uncut, the
new NBA podcast with me, Chris Haynes and me Mark
Stein join us as we team up to expound on
everything we're covering. Hearing and Chason.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Listen to This League Uncut with Chris Haynes and Mark Stein.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your podcast.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
The Ben Malor Show is a collaborative effort. You're invited
to communicate with those of us on this side of
the microphones. You can follow your host on x He's
at Ben Mallor and you could post that and follow
our technical producer. She plays all the music and most
funny stund bites on the Ben Malor Show. Her first
name is Loraina and she's at FSR Tech. Queen y'as
(14:42):
Queen Nli from the tyrack dot com. Fox Sports Radio Studios.
It's Ben Maller.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Eddy, I've made an editorial decision that I would like
to announce to the class. What is that We're gonna
do the lame jokes. And I wasn't here last week,
so we will have the O. J. Simpson roast. We
are going to roast O. J. Simpson. It is going
to happen, so very very exciting. Yeah, many many people
(15:13):
excited about this. So the the O. J. Simpson Roast
will be coming up in uh in about ten minutes.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Oh yeah, very nice. Now, Ben, you're not in studio
with us today. You're at the Mallor Maan, I.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Mean, I'm in a studio. I'm not in I'm just
down the hall and then you you know, you got
to walk a little bit and then yeah, oh yeah,
let me tell you something. Oh yeah, Mallor Broadcast Studio,
the home studio, the Mallar Home studio.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
So you were You're not here to know what's going
on behind the scenes. But I am being hailed as
a hero by our tech Queen Lorena. She had a
lot of stuff apparently she was carrying into the studio
when she got here. Uh and and apparently she mistakenly
dropped her Bucky blanket.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
Oh no, No, it's my boozy blank.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
Yeah, bootsy blanket. So when I pulled into the garage,
I saw it laying in the in the parking structure,
just it was all by itself.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Oh no blanket.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
It was like Rick Monday sprinting to say, I know,
saying the American flag. I grabbed up the grub, up
the blanket before any of the homeless folks that are
hanging out around here could get it. And I was
able to reunite that gorgeous blanket with Lorena, and she
was forever grateful and she has now forgiven me for
eating her potato ball on the first night that she
(16:34):
worked on the show.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
So true, Oh my gosh, it was a beautiful story.
I cannot lie to you. I was in the kitchen,
you know, I brought stuff for the girl's bathroom today,
so my hands were super full.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yes, yes, I've been told Eddie that Lorena has put
at Rasmataz in the lady's room, which we are not
allowed in anymore unless you might sort of identifying as
a woman, Adie, to get in there.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
That might just identify for a few minutes, so I.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Can inside and look all right.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
To check it out.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yes, yeah, all right.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
Yeah, but back to the story when when Eddie walked
in with the boozy blanket, I was looking at him
like did someone send you one too?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Like why why do we have matching blankets right now?
And then he just looked at me. He's like no,
And I was like, oh my god, I dropped my blanket.
You didn't notice. I didn't notice. I wouldn't There's no way.
Speaker 5 (17:27):
But yeah, I had a lot.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Like I said, I think for a second she even
might have contemplated giving me a hug.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
She was a moment.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
There was a moment there, and she's like, I feel like, no,
it's not that big of it.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
So Eddie, you know what we have to do now
is we have to we have to doll up the
men's from you know.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
I guess some would say we do decorate it Ben.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
It's got a kind of a yellow tint to it,
but but yeah, I mean I think we could. We could,
you know, make it little better there.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
And what what should we put in the men's room there?
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Manly, Yeah, a great idea barber's share would be good there.
What's very massive? How about we put some tires in there?
From tire rack dot Com how about that. You know
that's masculine higher smelle, Oh shoe shine station, nothing more
masculine having your shoe shine.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
Do you think they would give us people who stand
in there and like, hand us towels when we're done.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Yeah, how about the hate Maybe we could have some
volunteer to do that.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Yeah with candy that is. I hate when I go
to restaurants that have the bathroom with tennant. It's so
annoying because then I got to tip the guy and
then I don't know how Yeah you do you feel
like a total dick if you don't tip the guy,
and so you got a tip the guy, and then
you don't know how much to tip the guy, and
then if you don't tip him enough, he kind of
gives you the look like you know you're you're you're
(18:45):
a tight what you know? I hate it. I don't
want the pressure. I just want to go to the
bathroom and wash my hands. And I'm a middle aged man.
I know how to wash my hands. I know how
to get the soap, I know how to wash, I
know how to I even know how to drive them.
I know how to do all know how to do.
It doesn't mean you do oh are you saying that
you don't have to reach for the paper towels, he
(19:05):
will get them for you.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Yes, well that would be a great weight lifted off
of the You know all the.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Way I must pay off the mallet riddle. I do
not pay off the mallar riddle. The sky will be
raining down sulfur. So here's the malar riddle of the
Utah Jazz Boss. Ryan Smith is believed to be the
only NBA owner who can blank just like Frank says,
the only NBA owner who can juggle chainsaws. That's pretty
(19:33):
that's pretty cool. Who else do we have? Page down?
The only one that can recite the malad militia from
memory from Kyle Nick and Wisconsin said, the only owner
that can tie his own shoes, that can do the macarina.
Our buddy, the Cape cod paper boy is back hanging
out on the cape. Who else do we have here?
Understand what Jed who fled says? From Eke in Roseville, Minnesota,
(19:57):
Mark says, smell his own farts? Who else? Page down?
The only one that can out do Blair at his specialty?
From Rob in Minnesota? Who else do we pat his
head and rub his belly at the same time. From
the King Rory Page Down, Page down, alf the Alien
(20:18):
Opiner says the jazz owner the only owner that has
the same superpower as you. He can hear the smell
of Loraina's food. Thank you for that chip. Thanks good
listening by you. Donkey Sausage says, break weed man out
of jail, Break weed man out of jail. Mister nice
guy says, get the old Woodie without viagra. Wow? Who
(20:42):
else do we have? Page down? Can twerk like Lizzo
from Art Puffin sell Beard Mormons from the Late Night Drug?
Does that is true? They have to sell beer at
the jazz games right? Yeah, not on Sunday though, I
don't think they do that on Sunday. Jay Dot, who
lives in utossis Ryan Smith is the only owner who
believes he can legalize marijuana in Utah. Yeah, good luck
(21:04):
on that. Ferk Dog says, who can make it? Halfway
through the movie Failure to Launch. You have some very
odd perspectives. So that's what I love about your friggy.
That's why you're a friend of the show.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
Is Terry Bradshaw on that movie?
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Matthew McConaughey, Sarah Jessica Parker was bratch. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
I thought he played his dad. Maybe.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Andy from Lionel Lake says, the only NBA owner that
can juggle five wives and five starters. Wow, all right,
that's probably enough, Eddie. Do you have an answer, Eddie.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
He's the only owner that could do the gritty to
the gritty.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I love the gritty. I'm good at the gritty. But
that's incorrect, Eddie. The correct answer. Ryan Smith, the owner
of Utah Jazz and the soon to be named Salt
Lake Utah NHL.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Well, click on the trigger there, Lorena.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Lorena, calm down, Okay, it's gonna be okay. I'm gonna
give the answer. I promise I will give the answer
you taught. Jazz boss Ryan Smith is believing the only
NBA owner who can dunk a basketball he can't basketball.
That's important to Sporticoed Sportico says that he can dunk.
(22:20):
You don't believe it. I do not. Why do you
not believe what other you think? Jerry Reinstorf can dunk
a basketball.
Speaker 6 (22:28):
James Nolan or Wick Noo Celtics owner. I'm looking at
looking at his bio. It has nothing. It doesn't list
anything as far as his athletic building.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I got this from Sportico. That's a business website, Sportico,
and that's what they.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Anyone would know he could dunk.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
It's them exactly. That's what I'm saying. I'm not my
guy Balmer. I bet your Balmer could dunk. Oh God,
oh yeah, yours. Don't be ripping him. Dump that, Lorraine.
That's blasphemy. That's absolute blasphemy. I can't buy the dump button.
You think that Vivek guy that owns the Kings can dunk,
(23:07):
I say, now, I don't believe he can dunk at all.
How about that weasel Clay Bennett, the oil guy it
owns the Thunder, I think that that's all that. Well,
Glenn Taylor, I can name him. He still owns the Timberwolves.
I think that's all the owners in the NBA can name.
Let's go to the phones. Hollering James is in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Hello,
(23:28):
Hollering James. I think he's gone? Is he gone? Unless
he's this line?
Speaker 4 (23:33):
They call back, hold on, let.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Me see Jesus James.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
This year.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
He was on hold a while ago. Normally he doesn't
hang up, he just falls asleep. Now he's gone, he's gone.
Oh he's got.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
Back to that Rangers Tigers game, as you like to say, Ben,
the spawn of a former major leaguer making his big
league debut, the highly anticipated big league debut of Jake Whider,
the son of former Mets pitcher Al Lighter.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yeah, I saw. I think Al Lighter was on the
ninety seven Marlins when I covered that and they.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Won the very nice I started for the Texas Rangers.
Unfortunately for Jacob, did not go well. He gave up
seven earned runs three and two thirds innings.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
The guys at Bomb Dy the guys at Bomb did.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Not take the loss because the Rangers were able to
rally but nine runs on the board, and that nine
to seven went over the Yeah, the motorcy kitties.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
He said after the game. He thought it was like
an all encompassing type of he said, that's right, that
is so good. Yeah. Al Lighter on the ninety seven
Marlins did not pitch well that year, but he was
on the team when they won the championship. And I
(24:50):
remember the people of Miami celebrating. They actually had fans.
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Jim Leland, the manager.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, I remember Dutch Dalton, Darren Dalton was in. He
was crying, hugging the trophy. Bobby Benia was on the Marlins.
Charles I believe Charles Johnson was the Well we're doing
ninety seven Marlins. Now we've reached. The Ben Malors Show
has reached. Yes, he had the big hit. He had
(25:20):
the big hit that sent Craig Council home, who's now
the manager of the Cubs. That won Game seven, went
extra innings. I was standing outside the Cleveland Indians locker
room because it looked like the Indians were gonna win.
And then at the very end, Jose Mesa blew it.
He blew the save and they had to rip all
(25:40):
the plastic out of the Cleveland Indians locker room.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
It was so bad they had to change the name
of the team.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Yeah, they changed the name, and omar Vis SkELL hates
Jose Mesa to this day for blowing that safe. But
enough of that, it is the Ben Maus Show. Well
that's we got the o J Roach Daddy, the o
J rouch. All right, here we go, here we go, here,
we go hit that button. There, there we go. Who's there?
Blame we blame we too. It's Big Ben's lame joke
(26:08):
of the week. Joe by request, Eddie By request the O. J.
Simpson Radio rose. He squeezed the jew said he he
can't sue us. He's dead. All right, here we go.
Kurt Forr sent this one in. Apparently O. J. Simpson
Burial got canceled. Eddy, I guess the coffin didn't fit.
(26:33):
Did you hear that Ojay's dream was to be a
divorce attorney. Yeah, it turns out he never actually achieved
the dream, but he sure took a stab at it, Eddie,
He really did. That's just like Frank, Thank you Frank.
Did you know that oj and Bill Cosby share to
sell in prison for over two years? No? Yeah, it
both slept with one eye open. It was wild Todd,
(26:56):
Sir for Todd, the comedian. We love Todd. I was
Lizzo sad when she heard that O. J. Simpson died.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
I don't know why would she care?
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Yeah, she said the juice expired and she loves juice.
And that's Tony in the bay. Why do the mal
and militia think oj is in a better place. I
don't know why, because he no longer will be able
to hear Poppy's phone calls to the show.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
That's a good point, actually.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Tony sent that one. And also, what do you call
Hayes in Minnesota? So scratch off and OJ Simpson?
Speaker 4 (27:31):
I don't know what do you call him?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Only two killers left? Oh wow, that's not whole goofed.
I've got to know. When OJ Simpson was in jail,
how did Marcel accidentally support the release of OJ? Ah? Hell,
he stood next to a sign that said free juice?
All right, that's Tony. Did you know that O. J.
Simpson was a fan of the game shows here on
(27:54):
the on the Mallers Show.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, he loved all the backstabbing that goes on on
the shows there he could relate to it. That's Tony
from the Bay again. Why why did OJ Simpson really die?
Speaker 4 (28:08):
Well?
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Wh he he? Because Eddie, the real killer is still
out there. That's why. That's from the Disposable Horse Napkins.
What do you call OJ's casket his casket? No, a
juice box. That's a disposable horse Napkins set that one
in Uh, you know, O J. Simpson can finally rest
(28:28):
in peace. Eddie. Well, he now knows that his wife's
killer is finally dead. So that's disposable horse Napkins again.
How guilty? How guilty Eddie was O J. Simpson?
Speaker 4 (28:41):
Extraordinarily guilty.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
He was so guilty that even incod terror picked him
out of a lineup. That's Tony in the Bay. All right,
do one more, O J Joe. I don't want to
do too many. One more, O Jjoe. Here's one more, Eddie.
I gotta get the Lizo jokes. One more ojent Okay,
here you go. Did you hear that when OJ passed away,
his remains were cremated and made into a powder.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
No, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Yeah, so now he goes by his new nickname, tang
Eddie sang very more of a joke, Milkman Mike in Colorado.
All right, thanks to all of the OJ joke right,
a lot of them from our front, our friend Tony
in the Bay, by a bunch of other people. And
(29:30):
I didn't want to do you know, two segments of that,
so we will have We've got the the Lizo jokes,
some other random jokes as well as we will roll on.
It is lame jokes of the week. These are actual
jokes in by actual listeners. Now, if you want to
send jokes in, maybe remind you here the way you
do this. Okay, you just email the men Ben Malorshow
(29:51):
at gmail dot com. Put jokes in the headline, and
then usually at the end of the week, right right
before the show, we start putting the jokes together. Send
them in and it helps us. We do Q and
A jokes. That's really the only jokes that work the
format of the show. We've tried other jokes. It's hard
to do other jokes. So Q and A jokes, question answer,
(30:12):
and then if you write them, it really helps us out.
If you put your name right under the answer, so
that way we know who wrote the joke. You want credit,
If you don't want credit, don't put your name there
after the punchline. Okay, So a lot of people send
jokes in they don't put their name there and all that,
but we will have the continuous It's Benmaalor Show at
gmail dot com. Ben Malors Show at gmail dot com.
You want to send jokes in straight ahead more the
(30:34):
comedy store, the comedy club, chuckles, whatever, you want to
call it. It continues. We'll get to more Big Man's
lame jokes of the week, and we will do it next.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app search FSR to
listen live.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Step into a world of imagination. The Ben Maler Show
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dot com, Fox Sports Radio Studios, it's Ben Maller.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Knock knock, who's there? Blame week?
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Blame week?
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Who?
Speaker 1 (31:22):
It's Big Ben's lame joke of the week. Ah, here
we go, Big Ben's lane jos continues me at the
oj roast, And now we move on. What was Lizzo's
favorite burger joint? What's her favorite burger joint there in Utah?
Speaker 4 (31:35):
Oh? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Five wives, She's a big thing. Gordon and Takoma, did
you hear that Lizzo got a new gig.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Eddy, Oh yeah, what's up?
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Yeah, she's a runway model for tire iraq dot com.
If she wears a bikini, it looks like a stack
of Michelins. That's danon Malartown, Pa. Why is Lizzo asking
John day Porter for gammling of why he knows how
to cover the spread?
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Eddie?
Speaker 1 (32:04):
That's Eric in Kansas, So thank you for that.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
Eric.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
What does Monday Nights Mallard Show have in common with
Lizzo after Breakfast?
Speaker 4 (32:13):
I don't know what do they have in common?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
That is five dumps in four hours?
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Eddie?
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (32:18):
So wow.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
That's George in Uvaldi, Texas. Why does Lizzo feel that
shoe hey Otani is her kindred spirit?
Speaker 4 (32:30):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
It just so happens that sixteen million dollars is what
she spends on takeout each year. That down in time.
That's hill Billy Mike, Thank you, hill Billy. Noah in
Austin says, where do you go to see exclusive Lizzo content?
Speaker 4 (32:46):
I don't know where.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Well, not only fans, only fats. It's a spin off
all they have it their only fats. Why has Lizzo
had to change what she wears to the beach.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Well, she will never be caught in fishnets again because
of it. That's a surfer, Todd the comedian. And what
is Lizzo going to do now that she has retired
from show business?
Speaker 4 (33:10):
I don't know what is she gonna do?
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yeah, she's just going to hang out. And she's gonna
hang out. That's for our buddy Chip and Maine, great
joke writer, and also sent a bunch of great cookies.
So this week, what's black and white and red all over?
Speaker 4 (33:25):
I don't know what is it?
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Lizzo and Robbie the Mariner fan hanging out together. That's
in Roseville, Minnesota. Did you hear about weed Man, Hippie
and Lizzo parachuting out of a plane.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
I definitely did not hear about that.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Yeah, it was big news this week. Lizzo hit the
ground and weed Man hit He landed on her so
hard he bounced right back up in the plane. It
was like a circus show. That is from our friend Dunk.
Dunk is in Snake Road. He says he lives in
Snake Road in the Shawnee National Forest and he listens
to us on a station out of West Frankfurt, Illinois,
(34:04):
ninety five five, and he says he listens at nice
you can't you know, can't sleep. He's got a few
issues there and so he likes to hear the show.
So thank you. Don What is the ratio of marijuana shortening?
Speaker 4 (34:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
One part Lizzo, two parts weed Man. That's from Arturo
who sent that one in? Did you hear that Lizzo
has a zoo in her pantry?
Speaker 4 (34:33):
I did not hear that.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah, it's full of goldfish crackers, Teddy Grahams, and zebra cakes.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
So you got all that.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
So Eric again, who's Lizzo's favorite former coach Eddie?
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Oh man, that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
I don't know, Tubby Smith. It's Eric in Kansas. Here's
a two for one special to hear about restaurants having
a new burger.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
Now, I didn't hear about that.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Yeah, it's called the Lizzo Burger, all fat and no
real meat. There's that. Now they also any they have
a weed Man burger.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
Oh yeah, what's in that?
Speaker 1 (35:11):
It's all grass rolled up and put in a rap. Haha.
That's dunk from again Snake Road in the Shawnee National
Force there in Illinois, which is two hundred miles from Nashville,
about two undred miles from Memphis and one hundred and
something miles from Saint Louis. All right, first there was
Batman versus Superman. Then god Zilla versus Kong. Now there's
(35:33):
a new movie coming out with a battle of two icons.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
Oh really, who's battling.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Lizzo versus Colon holds the movie? That's Milkman Mike in Colorado.
Now the thing that amazes me is weed Man's been
in jail for almost two months now and we're still
getting endless weed Man jokes. So why or how how
does weed Man get around Miami?
Speaker 4 (36:00):
I don't know how?
Speaker 1 (36:01):
In a cannabus Eddie in a cannabis that's from Ekeon, Roseville, Minnesota.
Why hasn't weed Man been released from jail yet?
Speaker 4 (36:10):
I don't know why not?
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Well, his public defender says he's refused to sign the
work release program. He will not. He says, no work.
So yeah, that's it sounds right, Yeah, that's ship in Maine.
Why can't the other homeless people stand weed Man? They
can't stand Weedman? Why not?
Speaker 4 (36:30):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Well, because he walks around like he owns he doesn't
own the place. They're very upset, he said. No one
in Austin. Now that weed Man is getting three square
meals a day, How is he like Lizzo?
Speaker 4 (36:44):
I don't know how is he like Lizo?
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Weed Man's a little hippie, A little hippie that's a surfer.
Todd the Comedian. How has being incarcerated actually helped weed
Man's golf game?
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Eddie is golf game. I don't know how.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Well. He has plenty of time to work on his
shank Eddie on the golf course there, if you know
what I mean. That's sir for Todd the Comedian. What
did Marcel say when he found out Lorraine ah got
the wrong food order delivered?
Speaker 4 (37:13):
I don't know what did Marcel say.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Marcel said, let's play food picks, was what he said.
And that's from Eric in Kansas. Yeah. Did you hear
about the pair of shoes that Jed bought, Jed who
fled bought from the drug dealer.
Speaker 4 (37:27):
I did not hear about that.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Yeah, Jed's not sure how what they were laced with,
but he's been tripping all day. He's really been tripping.
That's that's from average Joe, Average Joe in Minnesota. What
did John day Porters say when his friends told him
he'd be permanently banned from the NBA? What did he say,
(37:50):
Eddie to bet that's what you've heard that joke. That's
Eric Again's alright, last one, Eddie. Did you hear that
Wander Franco has started a GoFundMe account to pay his
legal expense.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
I did not hear about that.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Yeah, the good news. Any money that is left over
ed he will go to the Foundation Toys for Tots,
Eddie Toys for Tots. So there you go. That's what
chien name. I cleaned that last part off. It was
a little worse than that, but anyway, thank you, Chip,
Eric Tony, all, you guys, all your all, you joke
writers blame Jokes of the Week.
Hello and welcome. It's our number three. As we live
the rough life on the original Recipe Mallard podcast Spinning
Around and this hour pro Bouncy Ball. The seventy six
ers have a backup named Paul Reid, and he called
the Knicks a quote easier close quote opponent. Is this
a big deal, a little deal or no deal? Also
(00:24):
wemby Victor wemban Yama says other NBA stars have reached
out wanting to join forces with him. Give me your
reaction to that one, and Bronnie James apparently was held
back by USC According to some NBA scouts, does that
pass the nose test? We'll get to all that and
(00:45):
much more right now with a lot of barking. It's
our number three and bite my add the OJ Simpson
radio ros here it is our three. It is a
case of hoops his stereo. Welcome in the beginning of
another hour of the Ben Malor Show. We are in
(01:07):
the air everywhere alongside as we split the difference coast
to coast, port of the border and beyond on the
vast and mishlessly powerful microphones of FSR AMMA nating live
from the machine the audio vending machine of hot takes.
(01:29):
You put a couple of quarters in there, a couple
of shekels, and you are guaranteed to get at least
one or two hot takes. It's it's it's a guarantee,
it's gonna happen, and one per one hundred percent. We're
broadcasting live from the tyrack dot com studios. Tyraq dot
com will help you get there in unmatched selection, fast,
(01:50):
free shipping, free road hazard protection and over ten thousand
recommended in stars tyraq dot com. The way tire by
shuld be as we topple down another hour. By the way,
Donkey Sausage very impressed with that ten thousand number. He
thinks that's pretty cool, says that's a lot. So hoops
(02:11):
is stere Are League coming from the NBA postseason begins
this weekend and dayline on this Philadelphia. After beating the
Miami basketball team in the playing game, the Philadelphia basketball
team is set to play the Knickerbockers in the first
round of the playoffs. These teams haven't met in the
postseason since back in the nineteen eighties. Holy crap, nineteen
(02:33):
eighty nine, last time these teams met. Charles Barkley was
a beloved Round Mound rebound and as long ago before
he became the TNT broadcast, of course, but he's playing
for the Sixers at the time, So we did not
anticipate talking about this because there's some playing games, but
who cares about those? We did not anticipate talking about
this a particular matchup, but thanks to a backup with
(02:58):
Loose Slips, And we know loose Lips might think ships,
but they certainly helped talk radio. Here we are. So
if you've not solved the riddle yet, let me help
you out. There's a player by the name of Paul Reid.
You probably don't know who that is, but Paul Reid
is a backup center on the Sixers, and he lobbed
a verbal hand grenade the direction of Gotham. He was
(03:22):
asked on a Fledgling podcast whether or not the Sixers
wanted to avoid playing the top seeded Boston Celtics in
the first round of the playoffs by winning the playing
game they match up with the Nickson, they avoid Boston.
He said, quote, Oh man, I feel like we ain't
ducking no smoke, But yeah, I like that quoe. We
(03:45):
ain't duck in no smoke, but he said, yeah, we
wanted the Knicks matchup. Of course that's the easier team.
Now the reaction to this, what do you think the
reaction has been to this? Yeah, that's right. O MG,
pearl clutching aunt pearl. Oh, those comments led to hyperventiling.
(04:06):
You said the thing you can't say at the time,
you can't say it. So let us discuss the question
is seventy six Ers center Paul Reid the calling of
the Knicks an easier opponent, a big deal, a little deal,
or no deal. So I've got polygraph, star, trek, and mouthpiece,
(04:28):
and we'll combine all these things together and we are
going to make the last hurdle that we will jump
over in this steeple chase. So, first of all, this
one is firmly in the no deal category. Not little deal,
not certainly not a big deal. It's a no deal.
(04:50):
And for those that are nervous and they're they're oh,
I can't believe it all. I'd like to think there's
not many of those people left. But based on the comments,
there are a lot of people that I call these
people scarecrows. If I only had a brain, if I
only had a brain. My goodness, right, this is why
we can't have nice things, and this is why our
athletes have been programmed to speak in word salads, salad
(05:14):
of cliches, buzzwords and not croutons on top catchphrases. So
I would put Paul Reid's take Paul Reid's take in
the malor polygraph test. I've done that and it spit back.
No lies detected on the polygraph. And the reason the
reason that that came back that way is because what
(05:37):
this guy said logical, the l word logical. Jason Tatum
and the Boston Celtics are the NBA's betting favorites. There.
They were fourteen games better during the regular season, if
that matters, but fourteen games better than the Knickerbockers. The
Knicks also, one of their top players ain't playing in
the playoffs. He gone. So it's the Jalen Brunson Show
(06:00):
and some other random HOI POLLOI will try to take
down Philadelphia and the bulletin board material thing. If you're
new to the show, I don't drink that kool aid,
I don't eat that steak. I don't this is fertilizer.
Now I realize that I'm really punching myself right in
(06:22):
the nose. I'm boom right in the nose. Because it's
good for the media business. It's good for talk shows, podcasts,
it's good for the media business. Oh, I can't believe
he said that. Oh my god. But in terms of
actual wins and losses, wins and losses, it's pointless. And
I'll tell you why it's pointless. Because Philadelphia, should they
beat the Knicks and Joel Embiid plays, well, whatever they
(06:43):
win the series, it won't be brought up. But if
the Knickerbockers win, then it'll be well, they won because
of this guy. Nobody had ever heard of saying what
he said. These people are detached from reality. It's after
the fact. Adding on another later to the story. Now, secondly,
we go to the Alamo, where San Antonio plays pro
(07:07):
basketball and the rookie sensation from the European nation. Victor
webban Yama suggested this week that some players he didn't
name names, but some players have reached out to him
and expressed interest in joining forces. Wemby says other NBA
stars have contacted him about getting together. Give me your
(07:29):
reaction to this one, all right? So my reaction is
that NBA players, the default setting for NBA players is
to follow what I call the Star Trek approach. They're
all cut out of the same mold, the same mold
here they want to go to strange new worlds, but
(07:50):
they want to go there on the back of stars.
They want to ride the coattails of stars. Resistance is futile.
Hoopsters have already been trying to become space explorers with Wemby,
they're looking to form Voltron and put a super team together.
Now I question whether or not they would like to
do this. In San Antonio, the Spurs had the NBA's
(08:12):
second worst record. Greg Popovich is older than dirt san Antonio.
It's not Salt Lake, but it's it's not exactly exotic
in San Antonio. Asked Charles Barkley what he thinks of
San Antonio. There's a better chance that Wemby gets recruited
out of the Alamo and goes to a different team. Now, wait,
(08:32):
there's more. Now. When min Yama also was very braggadocious,
he said that he is quote immune to all the
bad things. You know this is these are my words.
The things that NBA players get in trouble for quote continues.
He said, like distractions like partying, alcohol, drugs. The Parisian
(08:53):
prodigy said that he would never do this, and why
would I ever do that? He said, I don't have
nothing to compensate for. I don't think that's proper English.
But he's from France. Because I choose to face everything
that we have inside of us. That's the quote. So
my advice is to clip and say, because it's impossible
(09:17):
to miss all three of those things, like the drugs,
the alcohol, the partying. He's very difficult in that world,
in that ecosystem to avoid all that, right. And remember,
I'll give you an example. I was doing my website
and there was a young high school player out of
Georgia named Dwight Howard. And Dwight Howard, I don't know
(09:39):
if you remember this, but he when he's coming out
of high school and he's gonna be the number one
pick in the draft, he wanted the NBA to put
a cross on their logo. On the logo, and Dwight's
now played a full career, he's not playing anymore. He
ended up getting across. But it was cross dressing, is
(09:59):
what It's fine, right, now you know who am I
to judge that? And I think him and Kitty in
his NBA career. So people do change, they evolve whatever
floats your boat. And so yeah, he went from wanting
a cross on the logo to going with the cross dressing.
Oscar de la Hoya approves with that message. All right,
(10:19):
final thought, So to Lebron's layer we go. Am I
going to talk about the Nuggets and Lakers? No, but
I was reading a claim that an NBA scout or
multiple NBA scouts think that Bronnie James, the spawn of
bron Bronnie James, was playing out of position at USC,
(10:41):
that the coaching staff, Andy Enfeld sandbagged Bronnie James, and
the reason Bronnie James played like ass is because of
the coach and it's not his fault. The very rotund
Brian Winhorse said he spoke to NBA scouts and they
felt that the University of Southern California did essentially Bronnie
(11:04):
James dirty by playing him as a wing instead of
a point gud. I guess he didn't have a wing
or a prayer. So Bronnie James, acording to the story,
held back by USC, according to NBA scouts, I say
that in their quotes. Does this pass the nose test?
I'm sniffing, no way, Jose, and my name is not Jose.
(11:31):
This report came from let me guess here, I'm gonna
go with Lebron's mouthpiece. It came from Lebron's mouthpiece. And
what do I know. I just do the Overnight show.
But I do know from what I've heard anyway, Lebron
James and his camp, his posse have many useful idiots
(11:52):
in the media, tody's that will repeat whatever they are
told like good little robots. It's propaganda and it's annoying too.
It's coddling. I get it, it's Lebron's kid. You gotta
look out for your kid. But this is just reeks
of nonsense, right, coddling the King's kid, and it's designed
to avoid accountability. How about the fact that Bronnie James
(12:15):
was given an opportunity to play, and I know he
had some health stuff, but he played and he didn't
play well. He didn't the time he got on the court,
he didn't play well. But those stone is fold and
then there's the what about it? And what about this?
What about that what about just annoying. It's unbecoming. That's
the way I was. Unbecoming is the way I would
(12:35):
describe it. It is the Ben Maller Show. That's what
this is. Gonna somewhat big hour. Lame jokes of the
week coming up a little bit later this hour. Those
are jokes sing by actual listeners to the show. We
did not have lame jokes last week because I was
I was elsewhere, so well, the jokes will return, I know.
(12:55):
That's that's very exciting that we're gonna have the lame jokes.
Calm down time now for the mallor riddle of the day.
And here's the mallor riddle of a little serendipity on
this We were talking about this cat earlier. Unless we
were not. We were the Utah Jazz and the NHL
team to be named later owner in Salt Lake, Ryan
Smith is believed to be the only NBA owner who
(13:20):
can blank. Again. Utah Jazz owner Ryan Smith believed to
be the only NBA owner who can blank. That is
the mallor riddle of the day. If you want to answer,
go on X at Ben Mahler. We'll get to the
answer and we will do it next.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Two NBA Insiders podcasting twice a week to plug you
right into the NBA Grape five.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
All happening in only one place. This League Uncut, the
new NBA podcast with me, Chris Haynes and me Mark
Stein join us as we team up to expound on
everything we're covering. Hearing and Chason.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Listen to This League Uncut with Chris Haynes and Mark Stein.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your podcast.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
The Ben Malor Show is a collaborative effort. You're invited
to communicate with those of us on this side of
the microphones. You can follow your host on x He's
at Ben Mallor and you could post that and follow
our technical producer. She plays all the music and most
funny stund bites on the Ben Malor Show. Her first
name is Loraina and she's at FSR Tech. Queen y'as
(14:42):
Queen Nli from the tyrack dot com. Fox Sports Radio Studios.
It's Ben Maller.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Eddy, I've made an editorial decision that I would like
to announce to the class. What is that We're gonna
do the lame jokes. And I wasn't here last week,
so we will have the O. J. Simpson roast. We
are going to roast O. J. Simpson. It is going
to happen, so very very exciting. Yeah, many many people
(15:13):
excited about this. So the the O. J. Simpson Roast
will be coming up in uh in about ten minutes.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Oh yeah, very nice. Now, Ben, you're not in studio
with us today. You're at the Mallor Maan, I.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Mean, I'm in a studio. I'm not in I'm just
down the hall and then you you know, you got
to walk a little bit and then yeah, oh yeah,
let me tell you something. Oh yeah, Mallor Broadcast Studio,
the home studio, the Mallar Home studio.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
So you were You're not here to know what's going
on behind the scenes. But I am being hailed as
a hero by our tech Queen Lorena. She had a
lot of stuff apparently she was carrying into the studio
when she got here. Uh and and apparently she mistakenly
dropped her Bucky blanket.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
Oh no, No, it's my boozy blank.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
Yeah, bootsy blanket. So when I pulled into the garage,
I saw it laying in the in the parking structure,
just it was all by itself.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Oh no blanket.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
It was like Rick Monday sprinting to say, I know,
saying the American flag. I grabbed up the grub, up
the blanket before any of the homeless folks that are
hanging out around here could get it. And I was
able to reunite that gorgeous blanket with Lorena, and she
was forever grateful and she has now forgiven me for
eating her potato ball on the first night that she
(16:34):
worked on the show.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
So true, Oh my gosh, it was a beautiful story.
I cannot lie to you. I was in the kitchen,
you know, I brought stuff for the girl's bathroom today,
so my hands were super full.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yes, yes, I've been told Eddie that Lorena has put
at Rasmataz in the lady's room, which we are not
allowed in anymore unless you might sort of identifying as
a woman, Adie, to get in there.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
That might just identify for a few minutes, so I.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Can inside and look all right.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
To check it out.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yes, yeah, all right.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
Yeah, but back to the story when when Eddie walked
in with the boozy blanket, I was looking at him
like did someone send you one too?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Like why why do we have matching blankets right now?
And then he just looked at me. He's like no,
And I was like, oh my god, I dropped my blanket.
You didn't notice. I didn't notice. I wouldn't There's no way.
Speaker 5 (17:27):
But yeah, I had a lot.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Like I said, I think for a second she even
might have contemplated giving me a hug.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
She was a moment.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
There was a moment there, and she's like, I feel like, no,
it's not that big of it.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
So Eddie, you know what we have to do now
is we have to we have to doll up the
men's from you know.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
I guess some would say we do decorate it Ben.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
It's got a kind of a yellow tint to it,
but but yeah, I mean I think we could. We could,
you know, make it little better there.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
And what what should we put in the men's room there?
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Manly, Yeah, a great idea barber's share would be good there.
What's very massive? How about we put some tires in there?
From tire rack dot Com how about that. You know
that's masculine higher smelle, Oh shoe shine station, nothing more
masculine having your shoe shine.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
Do you think they would give us people who stand
in there and like, hand us towels when we're done.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Yeah, how about the hate Maybe we could have some
volunteer to do that.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Yeah with candy that is. I hate when I go
to restaurants that have the bathroom with tennant. It's so
annoying because then I got to tip the guy and
then I don't know how Yeah you do you feel
like a total dick if you don't tip the guy,
and so you got a tip the guy, and then
you don't know how much to tip the guy, and
then if you don't tip him enough, he kind of
gives you the look like you know you're you're you're
(18:45):
a tight what you know? I hate it. I don't
want the pressure. I just want to go to the
bathroom and wash my hands. And I'm a middle aged man.
I know how to wash my hands. I know how
to get the soap, I know how to wash, I
know how to I even know how to drive them.
I know how to do all know how to do.
It doesn't mean you do oh are you saying that
you don't have to reach for the paper towels, he
(19:05):
will get them for you.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Yes, well that would be a great weight lifted off
of the You know all the.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Way I must pay off the mallet riddle. I do
not pay off the mallar riddle. The sky will be
raining down sulfur. So here's the malar riddle of the
Utah Jazz Boss. Ryan Smith is believed to be the
only NBA owner who can blank just like Frank says,
the only NBA owner who can juggle chainsaws. That's pretty
(19:33):
that's pretty cool. Who else do we have? Page down?
The only one that can recite the malad militia from
memory from Kyle Nick and Wisconsin said, the only owner
that can tie his own shoes, that can do the macarina.
Our buddy, the Cape cod paper boy is back hanging
out on the cape. Who else do we have here?
Understand what Jed who fled says? From Eke in Roseville, Minnesota,
(19:57):
Mark says, smell his own farts? Who else? Page down?
The only one that can out do Blair at his specialty?
From Rob in Minnesota? Who else do we pat his
head and rub his belly at the same time. From
the King Rory Page Down, Page down, alf the Alien
(20:18):
Opiner says the jazz owner the only owner that has
the same superpower as you. He can hear the smell
of Loraina's food. Thank you for that chip. Thanks good
listening by you. Donkey Sausage says, break weed man out
of jail, Break weed man out of jail. Mister nice
guy says, get the old Woodie without viagra. Wow? Who
(20:42):
else do we have? Page down? Can twerk like Lizzo
from Art Puffin sell Beard Mormons from the Late Night Drug?
Does that is true? They have to sell beer at
the jazz games right? Yeah, not on Sunday though, I
don't think they do that on Sunday. Jay Dot, who
lives in utossis Ryan Smith is the only owner who
believes he can legalize marijuana in Utah. Yeah, good luck
(21:04):
on that. Ferk Dog says, who can make it? Halfway
through the movie Failure to Launch. You have some very
odd perspectives. So that's what I love about your friggy.
That's why you're a friend of the show.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
Is Terry Bradshaw on that movie?
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Matthew McConaughey, Sarah Jessica Parker was bratch. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
I thought he played his dad. Maybe.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Andy from Lionel Lake says, the only NBA owner that
can juggle five wives and five starters. Wow, all right,
that's probably enough, Eddie. Do you have an answer, Eddie.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
He's the only owner that could do the gritty to
the gritty.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I love the gritty. I'm good at the gritty. But
that's incorrect, Eddie. The correct answer. Ryan Smith, the owner
of Utah Jazz and the soon to be named Salt
Lake Utah NHL.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Well, click on the trigger there, Lorena.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Lorena, calm down, Okay, it's gonna be okay. I'm gonna
give the answer. I promise I will give the answer
you taught. Jazz boss Ryan Smith is believing the only
NBA owner who can dunk a basketball he can't basketball.
That's important to Sporticoed Sportico says that he can dunk.
(22:20):
You don't believe it. I do not. Why do you
not believe what other you think? Jerry Reinstorf can dunk
a basketball.
Speaker 6 (22:28):
James Nolan or Wick Noo Celtics owner. I'm looking at
looking at his bio. It has nothing. It doesn't list
anything as far as his athletic building.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I got this from Sportico. That's a business website, Sportico,
and that's what they.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Anyone would know he could dunk.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
It's them exactly. That's what I'm saying. I'm not my
guy Balmer. I bet your Balmer could dunk. Oh God,
oh yeah, yours. Don't be ripping him. Dump that, Lorraine.
That's blasphemy. That's absolute blasphemy. I can't buy the dump button.
You think that Vivek guy that owns the Kings can dunk,
(23:07):
I say, now, I don't believe he can dunk at all.
How about that weasel Clay Bennett, the oil guy it
owns the Thunder, I think that that's all that. Well,
Glenn Taylor, I can name him. He still owns the Timberwolves.
I think that's all the owners in the NBA can name.
Let's go to the phones. Hollering James is in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Hello,
(23:28):
Hollering James. I think he's gone? Is he gone? Unless
he's this line?
Speaker 4 (23:33):
They call back, hold on, let.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Me see Jesus James.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
This year.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
He was on hold a while ago. Normally he doesn't
hang up, he just falls asleep. Now he's gone, he's gone.
Oh he's got.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
Back to that Rangers Tigers game, as you like to say, Ben,
the spawn of a former major leaguer making his big
league debut, the highly anticipated big league debut of Jake Whider,
the son of former Mets pitcher Al Lighter.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yeah, I saw. I think Al Lighter was on the
ninety seven Marlins when I covered that and they.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Won the very nice I started for the Texas Rangers.
Unfortunately for Jacob, did not go well. He gave up
seven earned runs three and two thirds innings.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
The guys at Bomb Dy the guys at Bomb did.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Not take the loss because the Rangers were able to
rally but nine runs on the board, and that nine
to seven went over the Yeah, the motorcy kitties.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
He said after the game. He thought it was like
an all encompassing type of he said, that's right, that
is so good. Yeah. Al Lighter on the ninety seven
Marlins did not pitch well that year, but he was
on the team when they won the championship. And I
(24:50):
remember the people of Miami celebrating. They actually had fans.
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Jim Leland, the manager.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, I remember Dutch Dalton, Darren Dalton was in. He
was crying, hugging the trophy. Bobby Benia was on the Marlins.
Charles I believe Charles Johnson was the Well we're doing
ninety seven Marlins. Now we've reached. The Ben Malors Show
has reached. Yes, he had the big hit. He had
(25:20):
the big hit that sent Craig Council home, who's now
the manager of the Cubs. That won Game seven, went
extra innings. I was standing outside the Cleveland Indians locker
room because it looked like the Indians were gonna win.
And then at the very end, Jose Mesa blew it.
He blew the save and they had to rip all
(25:40):
the plastic out of the Cleveland Indians locker room.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
It was so bad they had to change the name
of the team.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Yeah, they changed the name, and omar Vis SkELL hates
Jose Mesa to this day for blowing that safe. But
enough of that, it is the Ben Maus Show. Well
that's we got the o J Roach Daddy, the o
J rouch. All right, here we go, here we go, here,
we go hit that button. There, there we go. Who's there?
Blame we blame we too. It's Big Ben's lame joke
(26:08):
of the week. Joe by request, Eddie By request the O. J.
Simpson Radio rose. He squeezed the jew said he he
can't sue us. He's dead. All right, here we go.
Kurt Forr sent this one in. Apparently O. J. Simpson
Burial got canceled. Eddy, I guess the coffin didn't fit.
(26:33):
Did you hear that Ojay's dream was to be a
divorce attorney. Yeah, it turns out he never actually achieved
the dream, but he sure took a stab at it, Eddie,
He really did. That's just like Frank, Thank you Frank.
Did you know that oj and Bill Cosby share to
sell in prison for over two years? No? Yeah, it
both slept with one eye open. It was wild Todd,
(26:56):
Sir for Todd, the comedian. We love Todd. I was
Lizzo sad when she heard that O. J. Simpson died.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
I don't know why would she care?
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Yeah, she said the juice expired and she loves juice.
And that's Tony in the bay. Why do the mal
and militia think oj is in a better place. I
don't know why, because he no longer will be able
to hear Poppy's phone calls to the show.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
That's a good point, actually.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Tony sent that one. And also, what do you call
Hayes in Minnesota? So scratch off and OJ Simpson?
Speaker 4 (27:31):
I don't know what do you call him?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Only two killers left? Oh wow, that's not whole goofed.
I've got to know. When OJ Simpson was in jail,
how did Marcel accidentally support the release of OJ? Ah? Hell,
he stood next to a sign that said free juice?
All right, that's Tony. Did you know that O. J.
Simpson was a fan of the game shows here on
(27:54):
the on the Mallers Show.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, he loved all the backstabbing that goes on on
the shows there he could relate to it. That's Tony
from the Bay again. Why why did OJ Simpson really die?
Speaker 4 (28:08):
Well?
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Wh he he? Because Eddie, the real killer is still
out there. That's why. That's from the Disposable Horse Napkins.
What do you call OJ's casket his casket? No, a
juice box. That's a disposable horse Napkins set that one
in Uh, you know, O J. Simpson can finally rest
(28:28):
in peace. Eddie. Well, he now knows that his wife's
killer is finally dead. So that's disposable horse Napkins again.
How guilty? How guilty Eddie was O J. Simpson?
Speaker 4 (28:41):
Extraordinarily guilty.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
He was so guilty that even incod terror picked him
out of a lineup. That's Tony in the Bay. All right,
do one more, O J Joe. I don't want to
do too many. One more, O Jjoe. Here's one more, Eddie.
I gotta get the Lizo jokes. One more ojent Okay,
here you go. Did you hear that when OJ passed away,
his remains were cremated and made into a powder.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
No, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Yeah, so now he goes by his new nickname, tang
Eddie sang very more of a joke, Milkman Mike in Colorado.
All right, thanks to all of the OJ joke right,
a lot of them from our front, our friend Tony
in the Bay, by a bunch of other people. And
(29:30):
I didn't want to do you know, two segments of that,
so we will have We've got the the Lizo jokes,
some other random jokes as well as we will roll on.
It is lame jokes of the week. These are actual
jokes in by actual listeners. Now, if you want to
send jokes in, maybe remind you here the way you
do this. Okay, you just email the men Ben Malorshow
(29:51):
at gmail dot com. Put jokes in the headline, and
then usually at the end of the week, right right
before the show, we start putting the jokes together. Send
them in and it helps us. We do Q and
A jokes. That's really the only jokes that work the
format of the show. We've tried other jokes. It's hard
to do other jokes. So Q and A jokes, question answer,
(30:12):
and then if you write them, it really helps us out.
If you put your name right under the answer, so
that way we know who wrote the joke. You want credit,
If you don't want credit, don't put your name there
after the punchline. Okay, So a lot of people send
jokes in they don't put their name there and all that,
but we will have the continuous It's Benmaalor Show at
gmail dot com. Ben Malors Show at gmail dot com.
You want to send jokes in straight ahead more the
(30:34):
comedy store, the comedy club, chuckles, whatever, you want to
call it. It continues. We'll get to more Big Man's
lame jokes of the week, and we will do it next.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app search FSR to
listen live.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Step into a world of imagination. The Ben Maler Show
has no marketing budget. We need your assistance and growing
the congregation of the malin militia. How do you do it?
Tag malor related content on all social media networks. You're
the missing jigsaw puzzle piece to unlock the Ben Mahler
Show to new compatriots at l I from the Tirack
dot com, Fox Sports Radio Studios, it's Ben Maller.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Knock knock, who's there? Blame week?
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Blame week?
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Who?
Speaker 1 (31:22):
It's Big Ben's lame joke of the week. Ah, here
we go, Big Ben's lane jos continues me at the
oj roast, And now we move on. What was Lizzo's
favorite burger joint? What's her favorite burger joint there in Utah?
Speaker 4 (31:35):
Oh? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Five wives, She's a big thing. Gordon and Takoma, did
you hear that Lizzo got a new gig.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Eddy, Oh yeah, what's up?
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Yeah, she's a runway model for tire iraq dot com.
If she wears a bikini, it looks like a stack
of Michelins. That's danon Malartown, Pa. Why is Lizzo asking
John day Porter for gammling of why he knows how
to cover the spread?
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Eddie?
Speaker 1 (32:04):
That's Eric in Kansas, So thank you for that.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
Eric.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
What does Monday Nights Mallard Show have in common with
Lizzo after Breakfast?
Speaker 4 (32:13):
I don't know what do they have in common?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
That is five dumps in four hours?
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Eddie?
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (32:18):
So wow.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
That's George in Uvaldi, Texas. Why does Lizzo feel that
shoe hey Otani is her kindred spirit?
Speaker 4 (32:30):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
It just so happens that sixteen million dollars is what
she spends on takeout each year. That down in time.
That's hill Billy Mike, Thank you, hill Billy. Noah in
Austin says, where do you go to see exclusive Lizzo content?
Speaker 4 (32:46):
I don't know where.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Well, not only fans, only fats. It's a spin off
all they have it their only fats. Why has Lizzo
had to change what she wears to the beach.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Well, she will never be caught in fishnets again because
of it. That's a surfer, Todd the comedian. And what
is Lizzo going to do now that she has retired
from show business?
Speaker 4 (33:10):
I don't know what is she gonna do?
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yeah, she's just going to hang out. And she's gonna
hang out. That's for our buddy Chip and Maine, great
joke writer, and also sent a bunch of great cookies.
So this week, what's black and white and red all over?
Speaker 4 (33:25):
I don't know what is it?
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Lizzo and Robbie the Mariner fan hanging out together. That's
in Roseville, Minnesota. Did you hear about weed Man, Hippie
and Lizzo parachuting out of a plane.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
I definitely did not hear about that.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Yeah, it was big news this week. Lizzo hit the
ground and weed Man hit He landed on her so
hard he bounced right back up in the plane. It
was like a circus show. That is from our friend Dunk.
Dunk is in Snake Road. He says he lives in
Snake Road in the Shawnee National Forest and he listens
to us on a station out of West Frankfurt, Illinois,
(34:04):
ninety five five, and he says he listens at nice
you can't you know, can't sleep. He's got a few
issues there and so he likes to hear the show.
So thank you. Don What is the ratio of marijuana shortening?
Speaker 4 (34:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
One part Lizzo, two parts weed Man. That's from Arturo
who sent that one in? Did you hear that Lizzo
has a zoo in her pantry?
Speaker 4 (34:33):
I did not hear that.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah, it's full of goldfish crackers, Teddy Grahams, and zebra cakes.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
So you got all that.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
So Eric again, who's Lizzo's favorite former coach Eddie?
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Oh man, that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
I don't know, Tubby Smith. It's Eric in Kansas. Here's
a two for one special to hear about restaurants having
a new burger.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
Now, I didn't hear about that.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Yeah, it's called the Lizzo Burger, all fat and no
real meat. There's that. Now they also any they have
a weed Man burger.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
Oh yeah, what's in that?
Speaker 1 (35:11):
It's all grass rolled up and put in a rap. Haha.
That's dunk from again Snake Road in the Shawnee National
Force there in Illinois, which is two hundred miles from Nashville,
about two undred miles from Memphis and one hundred and
something miles from Saint Louis. All right, first there was
Batman versus Superman. Then god Zilla versus Kong. Now there's
(35:33):
a new movie coming out with a battle of two icons.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
Oh really, who's battling.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Lizzo versus Colon holds the movie? That's Milkman Mike in Colorado.
Now the thing that amazes me is weed Man's been
in jail for almost two months now and we're still
getting endless weed Man jokes. So why or how how
does weed Man get around Miami?
Speaker 4 (36:00):
I don't know how?
Speaker 1 (36:01):
In a cannabus Eddie in a cannabis that's from Ekeon, Roseville, Minnesota.
Why hasn't weed Man been released from jail yet?
Speaker 4 (36:10):
I don't know why not?
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Well, his public defender says he's refused to sign the
work release program. He will not. He says, no work.
So yeah, that's it sounds right, Yeah, that's ship in Maine.
Why can't the other homeless people stand weed Man? They
can't stand Weedman? Why not?
Speaker 4 (36:30):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Well, because he walks around like he owns he doesn't
own the place. They're very upset, he said. No one
in Austin. Now that weed Man is getting three square
meals a day, How is he like Lizzo?
Speaker 4 (36:44):
I don't know how is he like Lizo?
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Weed Man's a little hippie, A little hippie that's a surfer.
Todd the Comedian. How has being incarcerated actually helped weed
Man's golf game?
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Eddie is golf game. I don't know how.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Well. He has plenty of time to work on his
shank Eddie on the golf course there, if you know
what I mean. That's sir for Todd the Comedian. What
did Marcel say when he found out Lorraine ah got
the wrong food order delivered?
Speaker 4 (37:13):
I don't know what did Marcel say.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Marcel said, let's play food picks, was what he said.
And that's from Eric in Kansas. Yeah. Did you hear
about the pair of shoes that Jed bought, Jed who
fled bought from the drug dealer.
Speaker 4 (37:27):
I did not hear about that.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Yeah, Jed's not sure how what they were laced with,
but he's been tripping all day. He's really been tripping.
That's that's from average Joe, Average Joe in Minnesota. What
did John day Porters say when his friends told him
he'd be permanently banned from the NBA? What did he say,
(37:50):
Eddie to bet that's what you've heard that joke. That's
Eric Again's alright, last one, Eddie. Did you hear that
Wander Franco has started a GoFundMe account to pay his
legal expense.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
I did not hear about that.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Yeah, the good news. Any money that is left over
ed he will go to the Foundation Toys for Tots,
Eddie Toys for Tots. So there you go. That's what
chien name. I cleaned that last part off. It was
a little worse than that, but anyway, thank you, Chip,
Eric Tony, all, you guys, all your all, you joke
writers blame Jokes of the Week.
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