May 1, 2024 • 40 mins
Welcome to Unbreakable! A Mental Wealth podcast hosted by Fox NFL Insider Jay Glazer. On today’s episode, Emmy award nominee/NFL sideline reporter Kaylee Hartung joins Jay for a chat unlike any other. Kaylee opens up about how her father's tragic death inspired her journalism career. Everyone has a “why.” This is Kaylee's!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast
build you from the inside out. Now Here's Jay Glacier.
Welcome into Breakable and mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.
I'm Jay Glazer and today's guest is a great friend
of mine.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
She is up for an Emmy now a rising.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Star in this business. But she has a story that
nobody knows that. When I first heard it, I was
the NFL Owners Meeting. I started crying, so I wanted
to bring her on before I get to her. If
you're like many people, you may be surprised to learn
that one in five adults in this country experienced mental
illness last year. Get far too many failed to receive
the support they need. Carolyn Behavioral Health is doing something
(00:47):
about it. They understand that behavioral health is a key
part of full health, delivering compassion care that treats physical, mental, emotional,
social needs and tandem.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Carolyn behavioral Health raising.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
The quality of life through empathy and action. All right,
Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental wealth podcast with Jay g Laser.
I'm Jay Glaser and I wanted to bring this guest on.
She's I can consider a friend. I am so proud
of the work. She's doing it, doing it the right way.
But like I said, there was a story she has
that nobody knew, and I knew half of it, not
(01:18):
the rest of it. And when her teammate Andrew Whitworth,
who was my longtime training partner, told me this at
the NFL Owners meeting, I started crying in front of
wit and He's like, you gotta get her on the podcast.
But this it's Kaylee Hartongue, who is a sideline reporter
for Prime Videos inaugural Thursday Night Football crew with you know,
Al Michaels and Kirk Herbstreet. She did the NFL Draft,
(01:40):
she was part of NBC Sports playoff coverage and like
I said, nominated FORIGN Emmy. How cool is that? Kaylee
Hartung How you doing?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
I think that's the first time I've been introduced with
that honor in front of my name, which is absolutely wild,
very cool.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Much appreciated.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
I knew. I mean, gosh, you guys on Fox, I mean, Jay,
you guys clean up every year. But I think for
us being new to the game so to speak, with
Amazon and how hard our crews work, none of us
do any of these jobs alone, right, So I think
the coolest thing for me is just knowing how grateful
I am and how lucky I am to get to
work with the people I do who support me and
(02:21):
put me in a position too. No no, no, no
to tell great story.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
No no, this should be your Emmy speech, ready, if
you win the I mean, this should be your speech. Hey,
there's a lot of people that like to Actually, no,
there's not. I did this ship myself and they dropped
the mic and just walk off.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
You go off, Yes, there you go exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I mean they only let me talk for like twenty
two seconds during a game anyway.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
So if there is a.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
World in which I win, which I don't think there is,
that speech will be twenty two seconds to the number,
and fred Didelli will be very proud of me if
that's the case.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
By the way, you said we clean up, We don't.
We did in the first This is my twenty first
year of Fox. Last year's the first Emmy I wont
because when Fox started, I've been the one every year.
Then it was almost like I had enough with Fox already,
Let's just move on to everybody else. And they never
came back. Now, mind you, in all these years, I
have never won Emmy, but I was with our team
inducted into the Television and Hall of Fame. So something's
(03:15):
off there as the only sports show ever inducted in
Television Hall of Fame.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
But that's so cool.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yeah, I love it. And we're getting the award. We're
in Vegas, and I there's two things and both have
been a Howie long. I turned to Howie. I'm holding
this trophy in my hand, and it's two things I
said to him. One, I said, dude, this is and
this is true and for an Emmy and this it's
the first two things I've ever won without having to
(03:45):
get the shit beat out of me to win them.
I've only one thing for fighting. I've never and you
know if I've had broken noses now and rupture distant
all that, I've never had won anything in my life
without getting a hell beat out of me.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
We got this is what happens when that face gets
kept intact from yours.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Jay, you know you went awards. Look at that.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
But the other thing, I said, I'm holding this trophy up.
I got my little Rosie staple up here. I'm holding
this trophy up. And I looked to Howie and I go, hey, man,
I know we're supposed to act like we've been there before,
but fuck that, I haven't.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
This shit is cool.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Oh man, I love that.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I want you to enjoy it when you win it,
I want you to enjoy it. But even just being
up for it, it is, it's it's such a blessing
that again, and we're going to get this now with
it's a great transition. Little Kaylee, right, a little girl,
and you could turn around and tell her, like, man,
you're gonna one day you're going to grow up and
you're gonna be up for an Emmy.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
I don't even know how ten year old me would
react to that.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
I think just it sounds cliche to say, but just
being nominated among the people who I'm nominated with, like
I've already won, that is so incredible just to be
thought of in that category.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
And yeah, you do a great job. And I touched
you during game last year, right.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I love when you text me during games. I love
it so much. I like that real time feedback.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yeah, but you're but you gave us information there was
an injured player. You gave us information you didn't speculate.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Was it Joe Burrow.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
No, that that was Titans. He injured his neck.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
The receiver.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Oh gosh, that was so scary. Trailing Brooks.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yes, Trailing Brooks, right.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
But so we're all sitting there really scared of man.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Listen, even though I've been in the NFL since nineteen
ninety three, but every time you see an injury like that,
for me so weird being around fighting. I love it,
Like no guy breaks is like a manswer, right, you
have something, Hey, we cut our eyes up. It's part
you bleed a lot, you get knocked out, man, just
it's part of it football. It bucks me up. It
really freaks me out when I see guys get injuries.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
And that went that the situation with Treylon, when he
went down, he was so close to the sideline. I
was able to get really close. You know, think about it.
When Damar Hamlin went down, he was in the middle
of the field, so you know, players were able to
to protect him, and thank goodness, ESPN handled that as
well as they did. But in the situation at Treylon,
I was able to get so close, and it is
(06:17):
there is no feeling like that as a reporter. When
you're that close to everything, you need to observe, you know,
because I can tell you what I can see and
what I can hear.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
That's the best kind of reporting I can give you.
But you know, I mean, you're you.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Really have to lock in and take your own emotion
out of it in moments like that, I.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Think because of the toamor Hamlin think that's why it was.
It had a similar almost like a feel of that
and where we had no idea what's going on with
deamorar Hamlin. You gave us so much insight into alleviate
our fields. Now we're still serious and serious neck injury.
And that was the other thing, because it didn't seem
like a neck injury. You're like, oh, that's I've never
seen that before. Helped somebody go down and get injured
(06:54):
like that, which I thought it was knocked out. But
for you to be able to I was just a viewer,
wasn't an inside and you were able to give me
a very educated and informed basically I would say diagnosis
that's not the right word, but a picture of what's
really going on. So you were able to alleviate a
lot of our immediate concerns by immediate like journalistically, you
(07:18):
just dove in and you gave us everything you knew
and I just I texted you right on the spot.
I'm like, that was so perfect of the job of
a sideline reporter.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Thank you so much, say And I remember getting that
text from you, and it meant the world because my
all of my senses are so heightened in that moment,
and a lot of times you do. You have a
moment like that in a broadcast and then you walk
off the field and you're like, how did that go?
What did that got blacked out for a second, right,
you know, and then you get that reassuring text. For me,
I was like, that made me feel like I did
(07:46):
my job well.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I think, well, you got a lot of people root
for you in this business, me obviously one of them.
But when people hear this story also of your background,
you're gonna have a lot more people that root for here.
So I'm going to kind of give you the floor.
I want you to you know, it goes back to
your dad, and you know, again you told me half
of the story, but not the other half. So I
want you to just kind of start off with what
happened with you or your dad?
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Yeah, So I get asked all of the time in
this industry with my sports reporting, especially were you an athlete,
is that why you wanted to do this.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Or in news?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
You know, I don't think it's out of the ordinary
for somebody to want to host the Today Show if
this is the sort of career path that you're interested in.
But you know, for me, my why professionally, and so
much of my why in life as a person was
born from the worst day of my life. So when
I was ten years old, I went to go watch
(08:38):
my dad perform in an air show. He was an
incredibly talented aerobatic pilot. He would fly in air shows
all over the world, and this just happened to be
an air show that was an hour from where I
grew up in Battanars, Louisiana.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
He was flying in Lafayette.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
And so is like lo angels are like the little
small planes or so.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
He would fly World War two trainer aircraft, so like
what fighter pilots would train with world War two, So
really heavy machinery, and he would do tricks that you weren't.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Supposed to do with that type of plane.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
So, and I forget the physics of it, but if
you're supposed to do a barrel roll clockwise, he would
do it counterclockwise. The average fan might not notice, but
every pilot who was watching him would be like, camp
that guy, that's sick.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
So the World War Two planes were sort of his specialty.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
But he also had a Polish is gradjet, he had
a Mustang, he flew a restored a B twenty five,
one of the big bombers. And yeah, so just an incredible,
incredible history for him.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Did you ever go on these with him?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
I did all of them, all of every single one
of them. Oh, I was the kid. I'm gonna have
to send these the pictures to day.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
I was the kid getting in the plane with my
dad and saying go faster. You know.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
He'd be like, are you okay?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Everything?
Speaker 4 (09:53):
I'd be like, go faster, daddy, you know, I mean,
I just I loved it.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Adrenaline, the adrenaline rush. I came to understand. And it's
it just it's this sort of thing just feels like
it's in my blood, as is his job. He was
a performer. And it's so funny because I didn't think
of him like that. I didn't think of him as
an athlete or as a performer, but I now realized
he was both for sure.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
But he also owned a flight.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
School in Baton Rouge, which is really cool because his
legacy lives on through so many pilots in that area.
And my little brother's a pilot in Baton Rouge now too,
so he gets to hear stories about my dad all
the time and I always tell him he us to
share them with me. And he owned and ran the
one of the FBOs in Baton Rouge, so the businesses
(10:35):
were multifaceted.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
But yeah, so we went to this air show of his.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
And gonna have been more excited, and final maneuver of
the show he crashed right in front of me and
thirteen thousand other people. And there's a lot to unpack
about the emotions of watching a plane crash happen when
it's you know, the man you loved the most and
(11:01):
he's the only one in the plane.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
But in that moment, thinking back on it at ten
years old, I didn't think he was dead because to me,
he was invincible.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
When I saw the I mean just I saw the
plane hit the ground and I didn't I remember all
the feelings I remember that day.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
I remember my first reaction.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Was we got to go to the hospital.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
How fast are they going to be.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Able to get him, to get him to a hospital,
where is he gonna have to learn how to walk again? Yeah,
I didn't think. I didn't think it was possible that
he could be dead. But you know, thinking back to
the look on my mother's face, she knew instantly.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
And fast forward a couple of hours, we go back
home to Baton Rouge. We were able to just you know,
drive back home, and.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
The house was full of people that night, in the
way that it is at a time of morning like that,
you know, people wanting to be there for us.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
And the TV was on just for noise.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
I don't know that anybody was paying any attention to it,
but the room stopped when what I now know to
be a thirty second anchor vo voiceover comes on just
headline of the day that said something to the effect
of today in Lafiyel, Louisiana, in front of thirteen thousand people,
a plane crashed like this report was.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Not about the man who died.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
My father's death was treated as an event, and watching
us at ten years old, I didn't understand why that's
the way the story was told. Or why his life
wasn't honored all of the incredible things he accomplished. I mean,
and this is a guy who lived the American dream.
He was born in Indonesia, raised in the Netherlands, came
to the States with nothing, and truly lived the American dream.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
And none of that, none of that was mentioned. And
so in that moment, my thought was.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
I don't want anybody to feel this way when their life,
the most personal moments of their life are talked about
on TV. I don't want anybody to feel the way
I feel right now. So I want to tell other
people's stories. And the Today Show was what we watched
every morning.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
That's how I was.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Used to consuming news in any way, shape or form
at ten years old. And so the dream became very
quickly at ten years old to want to host the
Today Show one day.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
And you recently achieved that dream.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
I filled in.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves, but I
filled in hosting the third hour of the Today Show
last month. And I mean, it was literally a dream
come true. You know. I hope a lot of people
get to say that a dream that they had as
a child comes true. It's wild when it happened. It's
absolutely wild when it happens, and I felt so lucky
(13:35):
for the opportunity, and I had to kind of step
back and like soak it in and think about it
and appreciate the journey, you know. I mean, I'd do anything,
I'd give up anything to have another day with my dad.
But he's been with me every step of the way.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
We just read these bodies, but the soul live on forever,
you know. So he was there with you. Goodos talked
to him. He must have been beaming. When you're, you know,
hosting there for Today's show, you must have sheltered. I did.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
I absolutely felt at it. And you know, the funny thing
of it all was.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
That when I called my mom when they asked me
to fill in, of course, first call on good Make
and she immediately said, Oh, I can't wait to come
to New York. It's going to be so fun. We're
gonna send a great time. And I was like, Mom,
you're not invited. This does not take your mom to
work day. I am a serious professional.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
I am Oh, I'm.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Seeing the Today Show for the first time, Like, no
another time, Mom, Let me get through this. You know.
I was nervous and all the things right, let me
get through this, let me focus on this, and then well,
you know another time. Let me tell you.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Three days before I was scheduled to go to New
York for this, I texted.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
My stepdad and I said, what's mom doing this week?
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Is she busy?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Because I'm kind of thinking i'd really really like to
have her in New York with me? And he said,
call her right now. She'll be over the moon and
she'll be on the next plane out. And so I called,
and yeah, you better believe she was there like that,
And I can't imagine if I'd done it without her there.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
It was I mean, you know, this is she knew
the dream.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I mean she knew I vocalized it at ten years old.
And when I was the summer before my senior year
of high school, I mean, she took me to New
York and we went to the Today's Show Plaza and
we just crossed our fingers we would get to meet
Katie Couric and we took a photo with Katie and
it was just, I mean, you know, my mom did
these little things and big things really along the way
(15:33):
to I thanked her. I was so emotional with her afterwards,
because I was like, I'd never really thought about it
this way, but I was like, thank you.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
For always helping me believe that my dreams could come true, not.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
For having that sort of unrealistic parental confidence in your child,
you know what I mean. But she just afforded me
opportunities and that didn't make me feel like it was
out of reach, and I didn't realize that she was
doing it. And then to have her there and she
came on the set and the camera panned over to her,
and all of a sudden, I see the stage manager
(16:06):
hand my mother on microphone and Al Roker starts asking
my mom questions, and I was like, guys, I'm gonna
lose it. I'm gonna we don't need tears at the
start of this broadcast.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Can we keep it moving? But then my mom was
the star of the show and it was the coolest
thing ever. And I just love that we got to
share in that moment together because she's, yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Say that today show that you watched, but this is
what you watch with your dad.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
It was just always on.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
It was just on every morning as we were getting
ready for school, and like my dad left cooking breakfast
and I can remember him, you know, flip and pancakes
and the Today Shows on. I mean, it was just
a part of I think that's what's special about morning
shows in general, right, And it's why I feel such
a privilege when I'm on it, because it's such an
intimate time of the day for families. If you have
(16:55):
this cast in your living room, you know, or your
kitchen or wherever it is. And so yeah, so that
Today's Show is a part of my childhood, and it
really touches me when I meet people who watch the
show and who know me from it, and.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
I just get to think about the part of their life.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
I get to be.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
You know, there's a lot to unpack from the crash yourself,
and I want to hit that, but before I do,
got to ask you this basic question. How did you
keep it together on the Tuday?
Speaker 3 (17:22):
I don't know adrenaline.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Adrenaline is a very real thing. And here's the thing,
here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
I have been what I tell you before our very
first Thursday Night game kicked off on Prime Video in
Kansas City in twenty twenty three. I don't know if
I've ever been so nervous before to go on TV.
I mean, I was so like I did my first
report right before kickoff, and I mean send it back
(17:50):
to Al, which like I'm sending it back to Al
Michael's life. This is the coolest thing ever. Then, Yes,
and I am shaking, Like I handed my microphone to
our utility guy, Shane, who's always on the field with
me to make sure, you know, if anything goes wrong,
he's problem solve. But I handed the mic coming back
to Shane, and I just I couldn't stop shaking. I mean,
I was so nervous.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
And the crazy thing about the Today Show from.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
The very first day I walked on that set as
a correspondent and got to be up there with Savannah
n Hode, to this opportunity to co host a whole
hour of it, I have never felt more at ease.
I've never felt more comfortable or at peace. I've never
felt fewer nerves in a way that I think nerves
(18:35):
are a.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Good thing in a lot of cases. In Kansas City,
I think though the nerves were a good thing because.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
It was just so much excitement and you've got all
the screaming, crazy people at Arrowhead and it's awesome and
I feed off of that, right, yes, Like I love
being in the middle of chaos. That's for me is fun.
You feed off that energy in a very cool way.
But when you're in a studio, it's such a different
feed you know, the difference. You know you've jumped both.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
It's such a different.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Feeling and you're kind of like looking for your views
of where where you know, where, where's my energy level?
Where do I need to be and how do I
match the other people in the room and all that.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
But with the Today Show, I think because I just
when they offered me the.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Opportunity to fill in, I said to myself, Yeah, I'm
a big preparation breeds confidence kind of person, and for
this I was like, I've been preparing my whole life.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
Yeah, And so the confidence was there.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
The confidence was there in a way that I get
couldn't have couldn't have manufactured and just red you. Oh yeah,
absolutely absolutely, yeah. Right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Let's go back to again. As a ten year old girl,
you see your dad go down in the plane crash
and you said before that it was on the news.
How did you realize.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
That because you said he's just going to be the hospital.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
How did you realize that he died.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Yeah, no, it's a really it's a really good but
it's a really good question. So at airshows like that,
just like lots of sporting events, you know, we were
there was a tent that was all the pilot's families, right.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
So all of a sudden, this big white van pulls up.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
It was like out of a movie. I mean, the
plane crashes. I mean, my mom grabs.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Me to hug me. A white van pulls up and
we get.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Thrown in and like, I don't know where we're I
think we're going to the hospital, and we get taken too,
and then ambulances are rushing, fire trucks are rushing to
the plane, and then we get taken to another hangar
at the airport, and I'm like, what are we doing here?
Speaker 4 (20:35):
We're wasting time? Like why I didn't there? It felt
there was urgency, and.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Then all of a sudden there wasn't. We were just
sitting there and I'm like, what are we doing in here?
We gotta go. And then one of my dad's best
friends in them in the industry walked in and he
took my mom into a different room, and I heard
her scream and.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
That's how I knew.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
And I if somebody themselves told me that he was dead,
I don't remember, because that that was how I found out,
and I have I don't we've been we didn't stay
there much longer, or maybe we did, I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
And then we got in a car and somebody drove
us back to Baton Rouge, and that it. I think
in any moment of trauma, any significant moment in life,
right there are there are some details that you remembers
like they were yesterday so specifically, and then there are
blocks of time where you're like, what happened? I have
no recollection. Yeah, so that's how I found out.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
How did you unpack it? First? As a little kid?
Moving forward after that?
Speaker 3 (21:40):
So, I'm a younger brother, four years older than him,
and I I was so worried about everyone else.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
I was so worried about my mom. I mean, my
mom was thirty five and widowed with two kids, and
I was so I was all always my father's child,
you know, I was always the oldest in all of
the stereotypical characteristics. You know, I wanted to get straight
as to make him proud. I wanted to do everything
(22:12):
right to make him proud, and not because he put.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
That pressure on me, but because I just to more
of the DNA, more of his DNA in me. But
looking back on it that time and how I managed it,
I didn't give my mom enough credit. I now believe
she is the strongest woman I know, But at the
time she is she is.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
You've never met my mom.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Oh, you've gotta meet my mom day, you are gonna
loves She's in LA, we're all hanging out. For sure.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Everybody loves my mom. But I really do. I think
she's the strongest woman I know. But at the time
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
I couldn't see that. I was just so worried about
her and worried that she was going to break. And
the thing is, she never did, but I couldn't see
that at the time. For me, I grew up fast,
Yeah exactly. I think I felt like I grew up fast,
but I but I already was a kid who prided
(23:11):
myself on being mature.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
So it was just more of that.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
It was just more of I tried to make my
mom's life easier, you know. I wanted to do everything
right so that she didn't have to discipline me. You know,
so that I wouldn't put any more stress on her,
and I just, oh, for sure, not just a ten
year old, but you know also as a fourteen year
old and a sixteen year old, and you know, it
(23:35):
was my entire No. There was one time I got
gott in some trouble in eighth grade for drinking wine
coolers and I never felt so awful in my life
because my mom had to discipline me and I felt
like I let her down in a way that was
more punishment than you know, being grounded for months. Yeah,
(24:00):
but so but but the but the other side of
that is that you know, things I unpack up my therapist.
You know, I put up armor.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
You know, I suited it up.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Oh, I suited up, and I learned to compartmentalize. I
learned to compartmentalize in a way that I will say
in my job.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
In news can be helpful.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
It's great and chaos, yes at.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
It, But at a mass shooting or a natural disaster,
when I am meeting people on the worst day of
their life and they are trusting me with their story,
I have to put my own emotions aside. Just like
we were talking about with the trail and Burk situation.
You know, I'm over there looking at him, scared to death,
and you got to you got to put that away.
You've got to do the job. You've got to focus
(24:40):
on the facts and the information and in those moments
with those families. You know, I would like to think
my empathy is one of my greatest qualities as a reporter.
So the compartmentalization I think has done me some good
and has absolutely been to my detriment, you know, more
so in my in my personal life.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
All I was going to ask you that is, how
have you found relationships?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
As far as you know, You're the most loved person
and ten years old and he's gone in a very
visible and tragic way.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Have you run into I guess, fear that everybody would
leave you.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
I don't have fear that everybody would leave me so
much as I oh, gosh, this is hard to stay
out loud.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
I never imagined i'd be thirty eight, single and not
have kids.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Never imagine that. But I think I think I'm looking
for someone who is a lot like my bud, and
that's a really hard act to follow.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
How have you well, you're saying you're working with therapist,
how are you? And I don't want to get all
therapy on you here, but have you've been able to
see like, hey, I got some movement here? I got
because look, I'm by the way I ask questions and
something like, I'm not really equipped to ask these questions
because I haven't been through this. People been through it.
Who should ask questions? But I am just I'm also
I'm generally you know, obviously you know much I care
(25:54):
about you, so but also you as a friend, you
as a human, you as a person, you and you
and your future. Me for someone who got loved later
in life. Now part of me puts the hat of, oh,
how could I kind of coach Killy's so she could
find love? All? So?
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Oh I need all the I need all the tips.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
But yeah, you know, the wild thing is is that
I didn't I didn't see a therapist until last year.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
What really? What was the change? What? What because you
need one because you're handle on your own? Or did you? Oh?
Speaker 4 (26:24):
Yeah, because I just thought I was.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
I was.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Yeah, I thought, I mean, I knew it would be helpful.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
I wasn't in denial about that, but I kind of
thought for a long time that I was holding it
together to sign and and then what my therapist explained
to me is that, you know, I spent all those
years trying to strengthen that armor that I put on,
and then at some point.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
That armor starts to crumble. And that was I think
the point that I hit that led me to seeking
help was.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Realizing being very confused, why I felt more emotional than
I was used to feeling about a lot of things.
You know, why my reactions to things that would happen
in my personal life really get into me in a
deep way. Gosh, I'm usually stronger than this because for me,
it was always about strength. For me, it was always
about I've got to be strong for my mom and
my brother, and that's how I get through it all.
(27:17):
And then when i'm my gosh, I am what's wrong
with me? And then the therapist is like, no, no, no, no, this.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Is nothing's wrong with you.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
This is actually this is actually progress.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Yeah, but you know, I love to post that I
saw you share about you and Rosie being preemptive about
going to therapy together before getting married before problems arise
that are then too, you know, get even more difficult
to deal with. But you know, I think that I
have been someone in relationships and I've learned the hard
(27:51):
way how important communication is. And I think now at
this stage of my life, I'm going to have to
demand strong communication in a relationship. So share with me, please,
what you guys learned and what was most helpful in that.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
No, but but here's the thing I want to go
back also, So what the worst thing that happened in
your life? I would like for you to shift it
from this happened to me too, that formed all these superpowers?
Speaker 4 (28:18):
Oh, it did.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
It's undeniable and it's a really hard thing to come
to terms with though. Right. There was a fantastic conversation
between Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert a couple of years ago,
and it ended up leading to Anderson doing an entirely
podcast on grief. But you know, both of them lost
their dads at ten years old, and they were.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
The first people I heard.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
This was also what helped lead me to recognize I
needed to go to therapy and was listening to their conversation.
But you know this, this idea that the worst day
can lead to some of these, like you say, superpowers, yes,
and you it's just a really hard thing to because
who would I be I've shouldn't a thousand months. Who
(29:01):
would I be if my dad were still on this planet,
if I'd had all these years with him? And I
would like to think I would be.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
A better person, just a better person.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Why would you like to think that you're a better person?
Speaker 1 (29:13):
You're a phenomenal person. This is like.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Loved him.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
I love him by hearing him. I love him by
hearing about him, But I love him more for the
person that you've become. So that's the ultimate gift. Like
he left you with this.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
To become the person you are now.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
And think all these things, these tools you have because
of that, I don't think you would have been the successful.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Like it's our our adversity is the biggest kid.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
What would my why?
Speaker 4 (29:39):
What would my why have been? I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
And here's the thing about when you face adversity and
survived and overcome it and it's made you stronger. You know,
I recognize years ago in relationships that I need to
be with someone who has experienced some adversity in life,
right and who has become stronger the result of it. Now,
I you know, I think it's a very generalized statement,
(30:04):
but I think we all need Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
By the way, I don't know if that's I don't
know if that's the case, because I think you just
need to be with someone who understands uidversity and who's
empathetic to it and could help them raise you up.
But it doesn't mean that we have to have gone.
Speaker 4 (30:16):
But I need to know.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Here's the thing to your point of am I afraid
that somebody would leave me after experiencing that loss? It's
more like I'm afraid that somebody wouldn't be able to
handle tough stuff.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
You're right, that's the type of person you're looking for.
But here's what I've learned now by talking so openly
about my mental health, it lifts other people up when
they get to help you with this stuff. So, like,
I'll give you my story that I really realized is
you know, I've been best friends to stray and since
ninety three and it wasn't until two years ago where
we're supposed to go out. And I call it when
(30:48):
I have my bad, bad, bad breakdowns, I called the
beast getting out of the box. And I am not
fucking good to be around, and it's really painful, and
I get scared for me and other people. And in
the past I went out no matter what. I would
take viking in and drink and just do anything to
just put on become.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
The glaze in front of people and hide the pen.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
And that wasn't great because then I'd go out and
get more trouble and be If I get an alcohol
in a situation where the beast is out of the box,
it's not good for other people at all. And it's
amazing that everyone stood by me through these times, but
it's been He's scary, and it's the first time I
said to Michael and man, I can't go out tonight.
Beast got out of the box and he said, oh, man,
(31:35):
it wasn't It wasn't like, oh, come on, Jay, just
suck it up. He was like, oh, do you want
to talk about it? And I said no.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
When I said beast got out of the box, man,
I just I got one of these tacks.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Men. This anxiety and depression hit. I'm feeling at my joints.
It's not a good night for me. And he said,
you want to talk about it? And I said no.
He said, don't want to come over. I said no.
I said, we'll talk about this not tonight. I said,
just want to kind of go to bed, just went
off and he said, well, have you never told me?
And I said, I don't know. With you, I felt
(32:03):
shamed and a lot of times like we don't want to
be a burden on somebody else. And he said, no,
you took away my ability to be your best friend
in thirty years by not telling me. And that's how
I realized, Man, I've got to like people want to
be there for us. We're not a burden, and same
for you. Like the people, no one's gonna say, oh,
how can I handle her? You're right. Guys are going
(32:25):
to want to help you and walk this walk with you.
And there's so many of them out there. And that's
what I've learned as I've come and opened up. Man,
people just check on me now. They hit me up
when people are going through stuff they like I never
would have been able to call someone about this. Now
I'm calling you, man, and some of the biggest people
You've got to imagine calling me saying, Man, I'm in
(32:45):
a bad place today. How to man, I'm so glad
you and I have this relationship now. It's made my
relationships a lot deeper. So I think, because you've gone
through this, whoever is lucky enough to be with you,
your relationship will be a lot deeper if you open
up and just put all your car to the table.
We want to be able to walk this walk with
someone else. It's it's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
You're about to see you and Rosiere already walking together,
but you're about to make me walk.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
That's what I want, as we want. But that's what
you asked me. What the thing like? So for for
all my issues again, I saw them into super powers,
like my depression. I'm like, man, it took me eleven
years to get my first full time job. I was
making ninety five hundred bucks a year. I got rejected
for eleven straight years full time jobs. My depression told
me I was worthless, so I felt, yeah, of course
(33:31):
I'm rejected. I would have quit if I had more
self worth along the way, I would have been like, hey,
I can't deal with all this rejection. But because I
felt worthy of getting rejected, I kept at it, and
I just I was the last dude's standing eventually that
somebody had to give me a job eventually. So the
depression was the super power the anxiety you and I
were talking about were great and chaos.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
So when those things happened, shoot, everything slows.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Down for us. And being great in chaos when you're
on TV or when you're in a cage or in
a football fields, it's a super power for my ADHD
allows me to do six things where you know in
the past, oh you have learning disability, No, well, okay,
but I just don't learn the way you teach. But
thank god I have it because I could do six
things at once. The same with this with you. It's
your superpower. But even the story, the story, I think
(34:18):
send your equity, your soul equity to a different level
where anybody's going to recognize that if you allow them
to thank you.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Jane absolutely appreciate that well. And you know, and the
thing is is that in wanting to do justice to
the worst days in people's lives and honor right the
story and honor the people involved in whatever the event
may be. You know, I spent two years at CNN
only showing up on the worst days of people's lives
(34:46):
mass shootings and natural disasters, death, despair, and destruction, and
that was a really important learning experience for me. But
when I tell you, it gave me more appreciation for
the privilege I have in sports to so often show
up on the best days of people's lives and try
to do justice to the hard work and the sacrifice
(35:07):
and the dedication that it takes for these athletes to
be great.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
People keep asking me.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
Oh, news or sports, you know what, where do you
see something? Like? You guys are missing the point. I
want to do it all. I want to work across
the spectrum because I want I feel lucky that I
feel like I have.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
Owned a skill set to be able to show up
on the best and the worst days, and I want
to work across that spectrum.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
I want to go back to so you said. Also
with Rosie and I, you just started therapy. Rosie and
I were together in the past and we split up
because it's kind of couldn't handle all my shit, my
breakdown and like listen, when the roommates in my head
get in a bad place, it could be an extended period,
and we broke up. I had to go do the work,
(35:53):
and I think you know, I went to like Thailand
for for thirty five days to go to this mind, body,
spiritual and I had to go do this work and
find out why am I like, what is it? And
when I had done the work and was able to
make peace with the little kid at little ten year
old Jay, if you already have ten year old Tayley
obviously had a huge traumatic experience. I had to go
(36:13):
comfort little Jay, get him to calm down so I
could be calmer in life, so I can receive all
the love Rosie was trying to give me. And the
point of this is, again, that was only two years ago.
So you started two years ago. Mine was two years ago.
And you know, I'm fifty four and now like, yeah,
it's never too late to find love. I'm a lot
older than you, so you know, I got fifteen years
(36:36):
on you. Sixteen years on you, so you got plenty
of time. But now, yeah, your life begins now that
you're starting to do this work. That's what led to
Rosie and I getting back together, and we talked about
a lot and even that I was then able to
voice to her when I have these issues, this is
what I need. And now when I have my breakdown,
she goes hey, and I talked about the abandonment thing.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
She's like, I'm not going anywhere, No, one's.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Ever done that for me, I'm not going anywhere, and
then the shame we feel and we kind of have
those little breakdowns. She immediately she knows now how it feels,
so she's like, oh, in five minutes, she's like, hey,
let's go to park, Let's go here, let's go there,
so I don't feel ashamed where I would have in
the past. When you feel ashamed, then I started acting
like more of an asshole. That's really like your growth
(37:21):
starts now and now like all these great things are happening.
Your dad is leading the way for you. So I'm
sure that's as you're doing this working with your therapist, realize, Okay,
this is all happening the way it's supposed to happen.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
I appreciate you saying that a whole lot. You know,
it's nice to get that affirmation, right like so you
get you know, because you know how some days you
go into a therapy session and you're like, oh, there
are all these things I want to talk about, and
then there are some days where you're like the appointment's
popping up and you're like, you're stuck.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
I don't really know. Yeah, where'd you now?
Speaker 3 (37:53):
You know?
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Same thing as the physical.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Sometimes you jim, you just don't feel like being there.
Sometimes you go in, you have an all world session.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
They're just therapists. Are our coaches? Ty, I look them,
I take away that stigma. They're really just our coaches,
nothing else. And by the way, somebody sent the message
on the post you're talking about, and they're like, man,
you're old as fuck. You're getting married fifty four. He
ain't gonna be live. But it's long or what. And
here's the way I view it. If I weigh fifty
four years and it's an eternity thing, golden, all right,
(38:21):
I get it for another.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Thirty four year whatever, But I have the rest of
my attorney with her. I'm happy. So a lot of
us put a time limit on it because of that.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
I don't. I think it's for the rest of eternity
and whatever happens with you, just remember that it's it's
an eternity thing.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
I love that. I love that so much.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
Have you guys written balls? Are you going to do?
Is that going to be the sort of thing where
you're gonna she is?
Speaker 1 (38:45):
And by the way, this obviously this podcast is the
last one before we go get married, So next week's
podcast will be a repeat of me and Rosie doing
our original podcast, which are so nervous to do, but
we really get and she had a wild story, as
you know, but all these life lessons we've learned how
to find love later in life. This is her first marriage,
and Rosie fifty five. She looks like she's a vampire.
(39:05):
She looks twenty two.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
But yeah, no one would put that on her.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
I'm trying to think if I just wing it, but
I know what I want to say because I don't
use teleprompter. I sucked with that, yeah, and I'm great
without it. But she's started to write it out, and yeah,
we're excited, just the two of us in the Malfa Coast,
no one else because I'm not having my shipberd friends
come and I can't. I can't, I couldn't cut it off.
So but listen, Kaylee, I couldn't think of a better
guest to have as my final guest before I go
(39:32):
get married, because I'm just honored that you opened up
and told me that story, that you told it to me.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Half of it, you know, one day with me you
went big Wit in Beverly Hills.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
The whole thing is just I'm honored that I'm what
you chose to really open up and tell the story too.
I'm really honored.
Speaker 4 (39:49):
So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Dreams,
dreams do come true for all of us.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
And I'm proud of you. All the people. I don't
even know how to do vote for the Emmy or
whatever it is, but did, Kayla damn Heavy. I really
really appreciate you coming on with me. Thank you for
joining the Unbreakable Mental Wealth podcast. I'll see you on
the other side of my marriage.
Speaker 3 (40:13):
You wait
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast
build you from the inside out. Now Here's Jay Glacier.
Welcome into Breakable and mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.
I'm Jay Glazer and today's guest is a great friend
of mine.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
She is up for an Emmy now a rising.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Star in this business. But she has a story that
nobody knows that. When I first heard it, I was
the NFL Owners Meeting. I started crying, so I wanted
to bring her on before I get to her. If
you're like many people, you may be surprised to learn
that one in five adults in this country experienced mental
illness last year. Get far too many failed to receive
the support they need. Carolyn Behavioral Health is doing something
(00:47):
about it. They understand that behavioral health is a key
part of full health, delivering compassion care that treats physical, mental, emotional,
social needs and tandem.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Carolyn behavioral Health raising.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
The quality of life through empathy and action. All right,
Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental wealth podcast with Jay g Laser.
I'm Jay Glaser and I wanted to bring this guest on.
She's I can consider a friend. I am so proud
of the work. She's doing it, doing it the right way.
But like I said, there was a story she has
that nobody knew, and I knew half of it, not
(01:18):
the rest of it. And when her teammate Andrew Whitworth,
who was my longtime training partner, told me this at
the NFL Owners meeting, I started crying in front of
wit and He's like, you gotta get her on the podcast.
But this it's Kaylee Hartongue, who is a sideline reporter
for Prime Videos inaugural Thursday Night Football crew with you know,
Al Michaels and Kirk Herbstreet. She did the NFL Draft,
(01:40):
she was part of NBC Sports playoff coverage and like
I said, nominated FORIGN Emmy. How cool is that? Kaylee
Hartung How you doing?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
I think that's the first time I've been introduced with
that honor in front of my name, which is absolutely wild,
very cool.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Much appreciated.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
I knew. I mean, gosh, you guys on Fox, I mean, Jay,
you guys clean up every year. But I think for
us being new to the game so to speak, with
Amazon and how hard our crews work, none of us
do any of these jobs alone, right, So I think
the coolest thing for me is just knowing how grateful
I am and how lucky I am to get to
work with the people I do who support me and
(02:21):
put me in a position too. No no, no, no
to tell great story.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
No no, this should be your Emmy speech, ready, if
you win the I mean, this should be your speech. Hey,
there's a lot of people that like to Actually, no,
there's not. I did this ship myself and they dropped
the mic and just walk off.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
You go off, Yes, there you go exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I mean they only let me talk for like twenty
two seconds during a game anyway.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
So if there is a.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
World in which I win, which I don't think there is,
that speech will be twenty two seconds to the number,
and fred Didelli will be very proud of me if
that's the case.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
By the way, you said we clean up, We don't.
We did in the first This is my twenty first
year of Fox. Last year's the first Emmy I wont
because when Fox started, I've been the one every year.
Then it was almost like I had enough with Fox already,
Let's just move on to everybody else. And they never
came back. Now, mind you, in all these years, I
have never won Emmy, but I was with our team
inducted into the Television and Hall of Fame. So something's
(03:15):
off there as the only sports show ever inducted in
Television Hall of Fame.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
But that's so cool.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yeah, I love it. And we're getting the award. We're
in Vegas, and I there's two things and both have
been a Howie long. I turned to Howie. I'm holding
this trophy in my hand, and it's two things I
said to him. One, I said, dude, this is and
this is true and for an Emmy and this it's
the first two things I've ever won without having to
(03:45):
get the shit beat out of me to win them.
I've only one thing for fighting. I've never and you
know if I've had broken noses now and rupture distant
all that, I've never had won anything in my life
without getting a hell beat out of me.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
We got this is what happens when that face gets
kept intact from yours.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Jay, you know you went awards. Look at that.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
But the other thing, I said, I'm holding this trophy up.
I got my little Rosie staple up here. I'm holding
this trophy up. And I looked to Howie and I go, hey, man,
I know we're supposed to act like we've been there before,
but fuck that, I haven't.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
This shit is cool.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Oh man, I love that.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I want you to enjoy it when you win it,
I want you to enjoy it. But even just being
up for it, it is, it's it's such a blessing
that again, and we're going to get this now with
it's a great transition. Little Kaylee, right, a little girl,
and you could turn around and tell her, like, man,
you're gonna one day you're going to grow up and
you're gonna be up for an Emmy.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
I don't even know how ten year old me would
react to that.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
I think just it sounds cliche to say, but just
being nominated among the people who I'm nominated with, like
I've already won, that is so incredible just to be
thought of in that category.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
And yeah, you do a great job. And I touched
you during game last year, right.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I love when you text me during games. I love
it so much. I like that real time feedback.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yeah, but you're but you gave us information there was
an injured player. You gave us information you didn't speculate.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Was it Joe Burrow.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
No, that that was Titans. He injured his neck.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
The receiver.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Oh gosh, that was so scary. Trailing Brooks.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yes, Trailing Brooks, right.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
But so we're all sitting there really scared of man.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Listen, even though I've been in the NFL since nineteen
ninety three, but every time you see an injury like that,
for me so weird being around fighting. I love it,
Like no guy breaks is like a manswer, right, you
have something, Hey, we cut our eyes up. It's part
you bleed a lot, you get knocked out, man, just
it's part of it football. It bucks me up. It
really freaks me out when I see guys get injuries.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
And that went that the situation with Treylon, when he
went down, he was so close to the sideline. I
was able to get really close. You know, think about it.
When Damar Hamlin went down, he was in the middle
of the field, so you know, players were able to
to protect him, and thank goodness, ESPN handled that as
well as they did. But in the situation at Treylon,
I was able to get so close, and it is
(06:17):
there is no feeling like that as a reporter. When
you're that close to everything, you need to observe, you know,
because I can tell you what I can see and
what I can hear.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
That's the best kind of reporting I can give you.
But you know, I mean, you're you.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Really have to lock in and take your own emotion
out of it in moments like that, I.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Think because of the toamor Hamlin think that's why it was.
It had a similar almost like a feel of that
and where we had no idea what's going on with
deamorar Hamlin. You gave us so much insight into alleviate
our fields. Now we're still serious and serious neck injury.
And that was the other thing, because it didn't seem
like a neck injury. You're like, oh, that's I've never
seen that before. Helped somebody go down and get injured
(06:54):
like that, which I thought it was knocked out. But
for you to be able to I was just a viewer,
wasn't an inside and you were able to give me
a very educated and informed basically I would say diagnosis
that's not the right word, but a picture of what's
really going on. So you were able to alleviate a
lot of our immediate concerns by immediate like journalistically, you
(07:18):
just dove in and you gave us everything you knew
and I just I texted you right on the spot.
I'm like, that was so perfect of the job of
a sideline reporter.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Thank you so much, say And I remember getting that
text from you, and it meant the world because my
all of my senses are so heightened in that moment,
and a lot of times you do. You have a
moment like that in a broadcast and then you walk
off the field and you're like, how did that go?
What did that got blacked out for a second, right,
you know, and then you get that reassuring text. For me,
I was like, that made me feel like I did
(07:46):
my job well.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I think, well, you got a lot of people root
for you in this business, me obviously one of them.
But when people hear this story also of your background,
you're gonna have a lot more people that root for here.
So I'm going to kind of give you the floor.
I want you to you know, it goes back to
your dad, and you know, again you told me half
of the story, but not the other half. So I
want you to just kind of start off with what
happened with you or your dad?
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Yeah, So I get asked all of the time in
this industry with my sports reporting, especially were you an athlete,
is that why you wanted to do this.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Or in news?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
You know, I don't think it's out of the ordinary
for somebody to want to host the Today Show if
this is the sort of career path that you're interested in.
But you know, for me, my why professionally, and so
much of my why in life as a person was
born from the worst day of my life. So when
I was ten years old, I went to go watch
(08:38):
my dad perform in an air show. He was an
incredibly talented aerobatic pilot. He would fly in air shows
all over the world, and this just happened to be
an air show that was an hour from where I
grew up in Battanars, Louisiana.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
He was flying in Lafayette.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
And so is like lo angels are like the little
small planes or so.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
He would fly World War two trainer aircraft, so like
what fighter pilots would train with world War two, So
really heavy machinery, and he would do tricks that you weren't.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Supposed to do with that type of plane.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
So, and I forget the physics of it, but if
you're supposed to do a barrel roll clockwise, he would
do it counterclockwise. The average fan might not notice, but
every pilot who was watching him would be like, camp
that guy, that's sick.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
So the World War Two planes were sort of his specialty.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
But he also had a Polish is gradjet, he had
a Mustang, he flew a restored a B twenty five,
one of the big bombers. And yeah, so just an incredible,
incredible history for him.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Did you ever go on these with him?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
I did all of them, all of every single one
of them. Oh, I was the kid. I'm gonna have
to send these the pictures to day.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
I was the kid getting in the plane with my
dad and saying go faster. You know.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
He'd be like, are you okay?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Everything?
Speaker 4 (09:53):
I'd be like, go faster, daddy, you know, I mean,
I just I loved it.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Adrenaline, the adrenaline rush. I came to understand. And it's
it just it's this sort of thing just feels like
it's in my blood, as is his job. He was
a performer. And it's so funny because I didn't think
of him like that. I didn't think of him as
an athlete or as a performer, but I now realized
he was both for sure.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
But he also owned a flight.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
School in Baton Rouge, which is really cool because his
legacy lives on through so many pilots in that area.
And my little brother's a pilot in Baton Rouge now too,
so he gets to hear stories about my dad all
the time and I always tell him he us to
share them with me. And he owned and ran the
one of the FBOs in Baton Rouge, so the businesses
(10:35):
were multifaceted.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
But yeah, so we went to this air show of his.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
And gonna have been more excited, and final maneuver of
the show he crashed right in front of me and
thirteen thousand other people. And there's a lot to unpack
about the emotions of watching a plane crash happen when
it's you know, the man you loved the most and
(11:01):
he's the only one in the plane.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
But in that moment, thinking back on it at ten
years old, I didn't think he was dead because to me,
he was invincible.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
When I saw the I mean just I saw the
plane hit the ground and I didn't I remember all
the feelings I remember that day.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
I remember my first reaction.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Was we got to go to the hospital.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
How fast are they going to be.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Able to get him, to get him to a hospital,
where is he gonna have to learn how to walk again? Yeah,
I didn't think. I didn't think it was possible that
he could be dead. But you know, thinking back to
the look on my mother's face, she knew instantly.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
And fast forward a couple of hours, we go back
home to Baton Rouge. We were able to just you know,
drive back home, and.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
The house was full of people that night, in the
way that it is at a time of morning like that,
you know, people wanting to be there for us.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
And the TV was on just for noise.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
I don't know that anybody was paying any attention to it,
but the room stopped when what I now know to
be a thirty second anchor vo voiceover comes on just
headline of the day that said something to the effect
of today in Lafiyel, Louisiana, in front of thirteen thousand people,
a plane crashed like this report was.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Not about the man who died.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
My father's death was treated as an event, and watching
us at ten years old, I didn't understand why that's
the way the story was told. Or why his life
wasn't honored all of the incredible things he accomplished. I mean,
and this is a guy who lived the American dream.
He was born in Indonesia, raised in the Netherlands, came
to the States with nothing, and truly lived the American dream.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
And none of that, none of that was mentioned. And
so in that moment, my thought was.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
I don't want anybody to feel this way when their life,
the most personal moments of their life are talked about
on TV. I don't want anybody to feel the way
I feel right now. So I want to tell other
people's stories. And the Today Show was what we watched
every morning.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
That's how I was.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Used to consuming news in any way, shape or form
at ten years old. And so the dream became very
quickly at ten years old to want to host the
Today Show one day.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
And you recently achieved that dream.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
I filled in.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves, but I
filled in hosting the third hour of the Today Show
last month. And I mean, it was literally a dream
come true. You know. I hope a lot of people
get to say that a dream that they had as
a child comes true. It's wild when it happened. It's
absolutely wild when it happens, and I felt so lucky
(13:35):
for the opportunity, and I had to kind of step
back and like soak it in and think about it
and appreciate the journey, you know. I mean, I'd do anything,
I'd give up anything to have another day with my dad.
But he's been with me every step of the way.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
We just read these bodies, but the soul live on forever,
you know. So he was there with you. Goodos talked
to him. He must have been beaming. When you're, you know,
hosting there for Today's show, you must have sheltered. I did.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
I absolutely felt at it. And you know, the funny thing
of it all was.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
That when I called my mom when they asked me
to fill in, of course, first call on good Make
and she immediately said, Oh, I can't wait to come
to New York. It's going to be so fun. We're
gonna send a great time. And I was like, Mom,
you're not invited. This does not take your mom to
work day. I am a serious professional.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
I am Oh, I'm.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Seeing the Today Show for the first time, Like, no
another time, Mom, Let me get through this. You know.
I was nervous and all the things right, let me
get through this, let me focus on this, and then well,
you know another time. Let me tell you.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Three days before I was scheduled to go to New
York for this, I texted.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
My stepdad and I said, what's mom doing this week?
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Is she busy?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Because I'm kind of thinking i'd really really like to
have her in New York with me? And he said,
call her right now. She'll be over the moon and
she'll be on the next plane out. And so I called,
and yeah, you better believe she was there like that,
And I can't imagine if I'd done it without her there.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
It was I mean, you know, this is she knew
the dream.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I mean she knew I vocalized it at ten years old.
And when I was the summer before my senior year
of high school, I mean, she took me to New
York and we went to the Today's Show Plaza and
we just crossed our fingers we would get to meet
Katie Couric and we took a photo with Katie and
it was just, I mean, you know, my mom did
these little things and big things really along the way
(15:33):
to I thanked her. I was so emotional with her afterwards,
because I was like, I'd never really thought about it
this way, but I was like, thank you.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
For always helping me believe that my dreams could come true, not.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
For having that sort of unrealistic parental confidence in your child,
you know what I mean. But she just afforded me
opportunities and that didn't make me feel like it was
out of reach, and I didn't realize that she was
doing it. And then to have her there and she
came on the set and the camera panned over to her,
and all of a sudden, I see the stage manager
(16:06):
hand my mother on microphone and Al Roker starts asking
my mom questions, and I was like, guys, I'm gonna
lose it. I'm gonna we don't need tears at the
start of this broadcast.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Can we keep it moving? But then my mom was
the star of the show and it was the coolest
thing ever. And I just love that we got to
share in that moment together because she's, yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Say that today show that you watched, but this is
what you watch with your dad.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
It was just always on.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
It was just on every morning as we were getting
ready for school, and like my dad left cooking breakfast
and I can remember him, you know, flip and pancakes
and the Today Shows on. I mean, it was just
a part of I think that's what's special about morning
shows in general, right, And it's why I feel such
a privilege when I'm on it, because it's such an
intimate time of the day for families. If you have
(16:55):
this cast in your living room, you know, or your
kitchen or wherever it is. And so yeah, so that
Today's Show is a part of my childhood, and it
really touches me when I meet people who watch the
show and who know me from it, and.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
I just get to think about the part of their life.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
I get to be.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
You know, there's a lot to unpack from the crash yourself,
and I want to hit that, but before I do,
got to ask you this basic question. How did you
keep it together on the Tuday?
Speaker 3 (17:22):
I don't know adrenaline.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Adrenaline is a very real thing. And here's the thing,
here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
I have been what I tell you before our very
first Thursday Night game kicked off on Prime Video in
Kansas City in twenty twenty three. I don't know if
I've ever been so nervous before to go on TV.
I mean, I was so like I did my first
report right before kickoff, and I mean send it back
(17:50):
to Al, which like I'm sending it back to Al
Michael's life. This is the coolest thing ever. Then, Yes,
and I am shaking, Like I handed my microphone to
our utility guy, Shane, who's always on the field with
me to make sure, you know, if anything goes wrong,
he's problem solve. But I handed the mic coming back
to Shane, and I just I couldn't stop shaking. I mean,
I was so nervous.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
And the crazy thing about the Today Show from.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
The very first day I walked on that set as
a correspondent and got to be up there with Savannah
n Hode, to this opportunity to co host a whole
hour of it, I have never felt more at ease.
I've never felt more comfortable or at peace. I've never
felt fewer nerves in a way that I think nerves
(18:35):
are a.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Good thing in a lot of cases. In Kansas City,
I think though the nerves were a good thing because.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
It was just so much excitement and you've got all
the screaming, crazy people at Arrowhead and it's awesome and
I feed off of that, right, yes, Like I love
being in the middle of chaos. That's for me is fun.
You feed off that energy in a very cool way.
But when you're in a studio, it's such a different
feed you know, the difference. You know you've jumped both.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
It's such a different.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Feeling and you're kind of like looking for your views
of where where you know, where, where's my energy level?
Where do I need to be and how do I
match the other people in the room and all that.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
But with the Today Show, I think because I just
when they offered me the.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Opportunity to fill in, I said to myself, Yeah, I'm
a big preparation breeds confidence kind of person, and for
this I was like, I've been preparing my whole life.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
Yeah, And so the confidence was there.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
The confidence was there in a way that I get
couldn't have couldn't have manufactured and just red you. Oh yeah,
absolutely absolutely, yeah. Right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Let's go back to again. As a ten year old girl,
you see your dad go down in the plane crash
and you said before that it was on the news.
How did you realize.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
That because you said he's just going to be the hospital.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
How did you realize that he died.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Yeah, no, it's a really it's a really good but
it's a really good question. So at airshows like that,
just like lots of sporting events, you know, we were
there was a tent that was all the pilot's families, right.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
So all of a sudden, this big white van pulls up.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
It was like out of a movie. I mean, the
plane crashes. I mean, my mom grabs.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Me to hug me. A white van pulls up and
we get.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Thrown in and like, I don't know where we're I
think we're going to the hospital, and we get taken too,
and then ambulances are rushing, fire trucks are rushing to
the plane, and then we get taken to another hangar
at the airport, and I'm like, what are we doing here?
Speaker 4 (20:35):
We're wasting time? Like why I didn't there? It felt
there was urgency, and.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Then all of a sudden there wasn't. We were just
sitting there and I'm like, what are we doing in here?
We gotta go. And then one of my dad's best
friends in them in the industry walked in and he
took my mom into a different room, and I heard
her scream and.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
That's how I knew.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
And I if somebody themselves told me that he was dead,
I don't remember, because that that was how I found out,
and I have I don't we've been we didn't stay
there much longer, or maybe we did, I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
And then we got in a car and somebody drove
us back to Baton Rouge, and that it. I think
in any moment of trauma, any significant moment in life,
right there are there are some details that you remembers
like they were yesterday so specifically, and then there are
blocks of time where you're like, what happened? I have
no recollection. Yeah, so that's how I found out.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
How did you unpack it? First? As a little kid?
Moving forward after that?
Speaker 3 (21:40):
So, I'm a younger brother, four years older than him,
and I I was so worried about everyone else.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
I was so worried about my mom. I mean, my
mom was thirty five and widowed with two kids, and
I was so I was all always my father's child,
you know, I was always the oldest in all of
the stereotypical characteristics. You know, I wanted to get straight
as to make him proud. I wanted to do everything
(22:12):
right to make him proud, and not because he put.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
That pressure on me, but because I just to more
of the DNA, more of his DNA in me. But
looking back on it that time and how I managed it,
I didn't give my mom enough credit. I now believe
she is the strongest woman I know, But at the
time she is she is.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
You've never met my mom.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Oh, you've gotta meet my mom day, you are gonna
loves She's in LA, we're all hanging out. For sure.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Everybody loves my mom. But I really do. I think
she's the strongest woman I know. But at the time
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
I couldn't see that. I was just so worried about
her and worried that she was going to break. And
the thing is, she never did, but I couldn't see
that at the time. For me, I grew up fast,
Yeah exactly. I think I felt like I grew up fast,
but I but I already was a kid who prided
(23:11):
myself on being mature.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
So it was just more of that.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
It was just more of I tried to make my
mom's life easier, you know. I wanted to do everything
right so that she didn't have to discipline me. You know,
so that I wouldn't put any more stress on her,
and I just, oh, for sure, not just a ten
year old, but you know also as a fourteen year
old and a sixteen year old, and you know, it
(23:35):
was my entire No. There was one time I got
gott in some trouble in eighth grade for drinking wine
coolers and I never felt so awful in my life
because my mom had to discipline me and I felt
like I let her down in a way that was
more punishment than you know, being grounded for months. Yeah,
(24:00):
but so but but the but the other side of
that is that you know, things I unpack up my therapist.
You know, I put up armor.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
You know, I suited it up.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Oh, I suited up, and I learned to compartmentalize. I
learned to compartmentalize in a way that I will say
in my job.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
In news can be helpful.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
It's great and chaos, yes at.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
It, But at a mass shooting or a natural disaster,
when I am meeting people on the worst day of
their life and they are trusting me with their story,
I have to put my own emotions aside. Just like
we were talking about with the trail and Burk situation.
You know, I'm over there looking at him, scared to death,
and you got to you got to put that away.
You've got to do the job. You've got to focus
(24:40):
on the facts and the information and in those moments
with those families. You know, I would like to think
my empathy is one of my greatest qualities as a reporter.
So the compartmentalization I think has done me some good
and has absolutely been to my detriment, you know, more
so in my in my personal life.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
All I was going to ask you that is, how
have you found relationships?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
As far as you know, You're the most loved person
and ten years old and he's gone in a very
visible and tragic way.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Have you run into I guess, fear that everybody would
leave you.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
I don't have fear that everybody would leave me so
much as I oh, gosh, this is hard to stay
out loud.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
I never imagined i'd be thirty eight, single and not
have kids.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Never imagine that. But I think I think I'm looking
for someone who is a lot like my bud, and
that's a really hard act to follow.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
How have you well, you're saying you're working with therapist,
how are you? And I don't want to get all
therapy on you here, but have you've been able to
see like, hey, I got some movement here? I got
because look, I'm by the way I ask questions and
something like, I'm not really equipped to ask these questions
because I haven't been through this. People been through it.
Who should ask questions? But I am just I'm also
I'm generally you know, obviously you know much I care
(25:54):
about you, so but also you as a friend, you
as a human, you as a person, you and you
and your future. Me for someone who got loved later
in life. Now part of me puts the hat of, oh,
how could I kind of coach Killy's so she could
find love? All? So?
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Oh I need all the I need all the tips.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
But yeah, you know, the wild thing is is that
I didn't I didn't see a therapist until last year.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
What really? What was the change? What? What because you
need one because you're handle on your own? Or did you? Oh?
Speaker 4 (26:24):
Yeah, because I just thought I was.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
I was.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Yeah, I thought, I mean, I knew it would be helpful.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
I wasn't in denial about that, but I kind of
thought for a long time that I was holding it
together to sign and and then what my therapist explained
to me is that, you know, I spent all those
years trying to strengthen that armor that I put on,
and then at some point.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
That armor starts to crumble. And that was I think
the point that I hit that led me to seeking
help was.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Realizing being very confused, why I felt more emotional than
I was used to feeling about a lot of things.
You know, why my reactions to things that would happen
in my personal life really get into me in a
deep way. Gosh, I'm usually stronger than this because for me,
it was always about strength. For me, it was always
about I've got to be strong for my mom and
my brother, and that's how I get through it all.
(27:17):
And then when i'm my gosh, I am what's wrong
with me? And then the therapist is like, no, no, no, no, this.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Is nothing's wrong with you.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
This is actually this is actually progress.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Yeah, but you know, I love to post that I
saw you share about you and Rosie being preemptive about
going to therapy together before getting married before problems arise
that are then too, you know, get even more difficult
to deal with. But you know, I think that I
have been someone in relationships and I've learned the hard
(27:51):
way how important communication is. And I think now at
this stage of my life, I'm going to have to
demand strong communication in a relationship. So share with me, please,
what you guys learned and what was most helpful in that.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
No, but but here's the thing I want to go
back also, So what the worst thing that happened in
your life? I would like for you to shift it
from this happened to me too, that formed all these superpowers?
Speaker 4 (28:18):
Oh, it did.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
It's undeniable and it's a really hard thing to come
to terms with though. Right. There was a fantastic conversation
between Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert a couple of years ago,
and it ended up leading to Anderson doing an entirely
podcast on grief. But you know, both of them lost
their dads at ten years old, and they were.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
The first people I heard.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
This was also what helped lead me to recognize I
needed to go to therapy and was listening to their conversation.
But you know this, this idea that the worst day
can lead to some of these, like you say, superpowers, yes,
and you it's just a really hard thing to because
who would I be I've shouldn't a thousand months. Who
(29:01):
would I be if my dad were still on this planet,
if I'd had all these years with him? And I
would like to think I would be.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
A better person, just a better person.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Why would you like to think that you're a better person?
Speaker 1 (29:13):
You're a phenomenal person. This is like.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Loved him.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
I love him by hearing him. I love him by
hearing about him, But I love him more for the
person that you've become. So that's the ultimate gift. Like
he left you with this.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
To become the person you are now.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
And think all these things, these tools you have because
of that, I don't think you would have been the successful.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Like it's our our adversity is the biggest kid.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
What would my why?
Speaker 4 (29:39):
What would my why have been? I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
And here's the thing about when you face adversity and
survived and overcome it and it's made you stronger. You know,
I recognize years ago in relationships that I need to
be with someone who has experienced some adversity in life,
right and who has become stronger the result of it. Now,
I you know, I think it's a very generalized statement,
(30:04):
but I think we all need Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
By the way, I don't know if that's I don't
know if that's the case, because I think you just
need to be with someone who understands uidversity and who's
empathetic to it and could help them raise you up.
But it doesn't mean that we have to have gone.
Speaker 4 (30:16):
But I need to know.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Here's the thing to your point of am I afraid
that somebody would leave me after experiencing that loss? It's
more like I'm afraid that somebody wouldn't be able to
handle tough stuff.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
You're right, that's the type of person you're looking for.
But here's what I've learned now by talking so openly
about my mental health, it lifts other people up when
they get to help you with this stuff. So, like,
I'll give you my story that I really realized is
you know, I've been best friends to stray and since
ninety three and it wasn't until two years ago where
we're supposed to go out. And I call it when
(30:48):
I have my bad, bad, bad breakdowns, I called the
beast getting out of the box. And I am not
fucking good to be around, and it's really painful, and
I get scared for me and other people. And in
the past I went out no matter what. I would
take viking in and drink and just do anything to
just put on become.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
The glaze in front of people and hide the pen.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
And that wasn't great because then I'd go out and
get more trouble and be If I get an alcohol
in a situation where the beast is out of the box,
it's not good for other people at all. And it's
amazing that everyone stood by me through these times, but
it's been He's scary, and it's the first time I
said to Michael and man, I can't go out tonight.
Beast got out of the box and he said, oh, man,
(31:35):
it wasn't It wasn't like, oh, come on, Jay, just
suck it up. He was like, oh, do you want
to talk about it? And I said no.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
When I said beast got out of the box, man,
I just I got one of these tacks.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Men. This anxiety and depression hit. I'm feeling at my joints.
It's not a good night for me. And he said,
you want to talk about it? And I said no.
He said, don't want to come over. I said no.
I said, we'll talk about this not tonight. I said,
just want to kind of go to bed, just went
off and he said, well, have you never told me?
And I said, I don't know. With you, I felt
(32:03):
shamed and a lot of times like we don't want to
be a burden on somebody else. And he said, no,
you took away my ability to be your best friend
in thirty years by not telling me. And that's how
I realized, Man, I've got to like people want to
be there for us. We're not a burden, and same
for you. Like the people, no one's gonna say, oh,
how can I handle her? You're right. Guys are going
(32:25):
to want to help you and walk this walk with you.
And there's so many of them out there. And that's
what I've learned as I've come and opened up. Man,
people just check on me now. They hit me up
when people are going through stuff they like I never
would have been able to call someone about this. Now
I'm calling you, man, and some of the biggest people
You've got to imagine calling me saying, Man, I'm in
(32:45):
a bad place today. How to man, I'm so glad
you and I have this relationship now. It's made my
relationships a lot deeper. So I think, because you've gone
through this, whoever is lucky enough to be with you,
your relationship will be a lot deeper if you open
up and just put all your car to the table.
We want to be able to walk this walk with
someone else. It's it's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
You're about to see you and Rosiere already walking together,
but you're about to make me walk.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
That's what I want, as we want. But that's what
you asked me. What the thing like? So for for
all my issues again, I saw them into super powers,
like my depression. I'm like, man, it took me eleven
years to get my first full time job. I was
making ninety five hundred bucks a year. I got rejected
for eleven straight years full time jobs. My depression told
me I was worthless, so I felt, yeah, of course
(33:31):
I'm rejected. I would have quit if I had more
self worth along the way, I would have been like, hey,
I can't deal with all this rejection. But because I
felt worthy of getting rejected, I kept at it, and
I just I was the last dude's standing eventually that
somebody had to give me a job eventually. So the
depression was the super power the anxiety you and I
were talking about were great and chaos.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
So when those things happened, shoot, everything slows.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Down for us. And being great in chaos when you're
on TV or when you're in a cage or in
a football fields, it's a super power for my ADHD
allows me to do six things where you know in
the past, oh you have learning disability, No, well, okay,
but I just don't learn the way you teach. But
thank god I have it because I could do six
things at once. The same with this with you. It's
your superpower. But even the story, the story, I think
(34:18):
send your equity, your soul equity to a different level
where anybody's going to recognize that if you allow them
to thank you.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Jane absolutely appreciate that well. And you know, and the
thing is is that in wanting to do justice to
the worst days in people's lives and honor right the
story and honor the people involved in whatever the event
may be. You know, I spent two years at CNN
only showing up on the worst days of people's lives
(34:46):
mass shootings and natural disasters, death, despair, and destruction, and
that was a really important learning experience for me. But
when I tell you, it gave me more appreciation for
the privilege I have in sports to so often show
up on the best days of people's lives and try
to do justice to the hard work and the sacrifice
(35:07):
and the dedication that it takes for these athletes to
be great.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
People keep asking me.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
Oh, news or sports, you know what, where do you
see something? Like? You guys are missing the point. I
want to do it all. I want to work across
the spectrum because I want I feel lucky that I
feel like I have.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
Owned a skill set to be able to show up
on the best and the worst days, and I want
to work across that spectrum.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
I want to go back to so you said. Also
with Rosie and I, you just started therapy. Rosie and
I were together in the past and we split up
because it's kind of couldn't handle all my shit, my
breakdown and like listen, when the roommates in my head
get in a bad place, it could be an extended period,
and we broke up. I had to go do the work,
(35:53):
and I think you know, I went to like Thailand
for for thirty five days to go to this mind, body,
spiritual and I had to go do this work and
find out why am I like, what is it? And
when I had done the work and was able to
make peace with the little kid at little ten year
old Jay, if you already have ten year old Tayley
obviously had a huge traumatic experience. I had to go
(36:13):
comfort little Jay, get him to calm down so I
could be calmer in life, so I can receive all
the love Rosie was trying to give me. And the
point of this is, again, that was only two years ago.
So you started two years ago. Mine was two years ago.
And you know, I'm fifty four and now like, yeah,
it's never too late to find love. I'm a lot
older than you, so you know, I got fifteen years
(36:36):
on you. Sixteen years on you, so you got plenty
of time. But now, yeah, your life begins now that
you're starting to do this work. That's what led to
Rosie and I getting back together, and we talked about
a lot and even that I was then able to
voice to her when I have these issues, this is
what I need. And now when I have my breakdown,
she goes hey, and I talked about the abandonment thing.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
She's like, I'm not going anywhere, No, one's.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Ever done that for me, I'm not going anywhere, and
then the shame we feel and we kind of have
those little breakdowns. She immediately she knows now how it feels,
so she's like, oh, in five minutes, she's like, hey,
let's go to park, Let's go here, let's go there,
so I don't feel ashamed where I would have in
the past. When you feel ashamed, then I started acting
like more of an asshole. That's really like your growth
(37:21):
starts now and now like all these great things are happening.
Your dad is leading the way for you. So I'm
sure that's as you're doing this working with your therapist, realize, Okay,
this is all happening the way it's supposed to happen.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
I appreciate you saying that a whole lot. You know,
it's nice to get that affirmation, right like so you
get you know, because you know how some days you
go into a therapy session and you're like, oh, there
are all these things I want to talk about, and
then there are some days where you're like the appointment's
popping up and you're like, you're stuck.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
I don't really know. Yeah, where'd you now?
Speaker 3 (37:53):
You know?
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Same thing as the physical.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Sometimes you jim, you just don't feel like being there.
Sometimes you go in, you have an all world session.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
They're just therapists. Are our coaches? Ty, I look them,
I take away that stigma. They're really just our coaches,
nothing else. And by the way, somebody sent the message
on the post you're talking about, and they're like, man,
you're old as fuck. You're getting married fifty four. He
ain't gonna be live. But it's long or what. And
here's the way I view it. If I weigh fifty
four years and it's an eternity thing, golden, all right,
(38:21):
I get it for another.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Thirty four year whatever, But I have the rest of
my attorney with her. I'm happy. So a lot of
us put a time limit on it because of that.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
I don't. I think it's for the rest of eternity
and whatever happens with you, just remember that it's it's
an eternity thing.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
I love that. I love that so much.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
Have you guys written balls? Are you going to do?
Is that going to be the sort of thing where
you're gonna she is?
Speaker 1 (38:45):
And by the way, this obviously this podcast is the
last one before we go get married, So next week's
podcast will be a repeat of me and Rosie doing
our original podcast, which are so nervous to do, but
we really get and she had a wild story, as
you know, but all these life lessons we've learned how
to find love later in life. This is her first marriage,
and Rosie fifty five. She looks like she's a vampire.
(39:05):
She looks twenty two.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
But yeah, no one would put that on her.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
I'm trying to think if I just wing it, but
I know what I want to say because I don't
use teleprompter. I sucked with that, yeah, and I'm great
without it. But she's started to write it out, and yeah,
we're excited, just the two of us in the Malfa Coast,
no one else because I'm not having my shipberd friends
come and I can't. I can't, I couldn't cut it off.
So but listen, Kaylee, I couldn't think of a better
guest to have as my final guest before I go
(39:32):
get married, because I'm just honored that you opened up
and told me that story, that you told it to me.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Half of it, you know, one day with me you
went big Wit in Beverly Hills.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
The whole thing is just I'm honored that I'm what
you chose to really open up and tell the story too.
I'm really honored.
Speaker 4 (39:49):
So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Dreams,
dreams do come true for all of us.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
And I'm proud of you. All the people. I don't
even know how to do vote for the Emmy or
whatever it is, but did, Kayla damn Heavy. I really
really appreciate you coming on with me. Thank you for
joining the Unbreakable Mental Wealth podcast. I'll see you on
the other side of my marriage.
Speaker 3 (40:13):
You wait
Host
Ben Maller
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