June 28, 2024 • 41 mins
In Hour 3 of the Ben Maller Show, Ben talks all things coming out of the sports world! Cowboys star Micah Parsons is emerging as a sleeper MVP candidate, is this the real world or fantasy island? How much stock do you put in Rob Gronkowski saying LeBron James would have dominated the NFL? Bo Bichette says he wouldn't be ‘surprised at all' if the Blue Jays trade him amid rumors, what do you surmise on this one? Big Ben’s Lame Jokes of the Week and so much more!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
It's our numb birth three and we head to Jerry's world.
How about them Cowboys star Micah Parsons is said to
be an emerging sleeper MVP candidate. Is that based in
the real world or is that on fantasy Island? Also,
how much stock do you put in Rob Gronkowski saying
(00:25):
Lebron James would have dominated the NFL? And Bobaschett, we'll
talk some baseball. Bobaschett says he would not be surprised
at all if the Blue Jays trade his ass out
of Canada. Amid rumors, what do you surmise on the
Bobaschett story. We've got lame jokes of the week as well,
all of it coming your way right now. Give it
(00:47):
up for our number three. It's all about the chatter.
It's all about the chatter well gone. In the beginning
of another hour of The Ben Maler Show, we are
all united together in the air everywhere neighboring as we
(01:09):
try to polish our act coast to coast, border, the
border and beyond. On the vast and rollickingly powerful microphones
of fsre amminating live from the nests as we hang
out with our fellow night owls. We're broadcasting live from
the ti raq dot Com studios. Tyraq dot com will
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help you get there, an unmatched selection, fast, free shipping,
free road hazard protection, and over ten thousand recommended installers.
For some reason, Justin and Cincinnati smiled ten thousand times
after the big presidential debate on Thursday. I have no
idea why tire raq dot com the Way Tire Buying
(01:51):
Show be in our lead this hour from the NFL.
We'll get back to the Brownie James conversation later as
the Lakers keeping it all in the family, Lebron, this
is so good drafting his kid, Lebron. Does he have
(02:14):
a share of ownership in the Lakers? I mean, does
Geenie Buss do anything?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
What is she doing anyway?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Alrightly, this hour is not from that. It's from the NFL.
We head to the train depot, the Dallas depot. The
hype train is leaving the station. Choe. Yeah, it is
a rite of summer life. If you know how this works.
Sports talk radio, sports Hype.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
The month of June. We're getting to the late June
training camp is still about a month away, and this is.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
About the time you start banging the drum and hyping
them up at Dallas Cowboys.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
So you didn't hear the latest we.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Got you, State funded NFL media, the propaganda arm of
the National Football League tell us the Cowboys edge rusher
Micah Parsons, they claim is a serious dark horse candidate
for Most Valuable Player in twenty twenty four. The breathless
(03:14):
reporting that Parsons is so disrupt on the field in
Jerry's world that he has a shot at winning the prize,
not just Defensive Player of the Year, but Most Valuable Player.
Holy Canoli Batman. So let's discuss the question Cowboys defensive
(03:36):
star Micah Parsons said to be emerging as a sleeper
NVP candidates. Is this the real world or is this
fantasy island? Okay, so I've got Froggy, Batman and foot Locker,
(03:57):
and we will combine all of these things together and
we are going to have.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
A hole in one.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Of course, the hole in one will be at a
miniature golf course with a windmill spinning.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Around, but it's still a hole in one.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
First of all, though, on this going to I'm gonna
date myself a little bit here with this reference, but
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
If you're an old geezer, you'll get it.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
And Loraina tells me we only have people over the
age of eighty that listen to the show. She says
that the core demographic to this show is between eighty
and ninety years old.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
That's what she tells me.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
But if you're old, if you're an old geezer, you're
gonna get this reverence in the cartoon bubble in my
head when I saw this headline that Micah Parsons is
an MVP candidate, the cartoon bubble, I can see the
diminutive tattoo spotting the Cowboys seaplane off in the distance
as it was making its way to approaching Fantasy Island,
(04:51):
and then running up a tower and excitedly yelling.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Deeplane, deeplane and ringing a.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Bell because this is Fantasy Island, this is make believe,
this is Never Never Land. He would have to Michael
Parsons would have to play frog gate he orgo. He
would have to leapfrog, jumping over legends like Patrick Mahomey,
Patrick mahomes and Joe Burrow as well. We know every
(05:21):
man a child knows it is an offensive award. It's
not a defensive ward. The last defender to win an
MVP award was Giants legend Lawrence Taylor four decades ago.
And if Aaron Donald, who dominated the interior of defenses
helped carry the Rams to the Super Bowl a couple
of times, if he never sniffed the MVP, why on
(05:42):
God's Green Earth would Michael Parsons. And well, Michael Parsons
has a lot of accolades in his short career, and
he has certainly helped us out by stirring things up.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
I got to point out there's a lot of empty calories.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And I remember last season. If you go back in
the DeLorean to last year, Micah Parsons was voted the
MVP after two games. It turns out that those two
games were against the Giants and the Jets, and then
when he started playing other teams it turned out to
just be a mirage and Dallas. This time of the
(06:16):
year is a big time of the year for the
Cowboys because they give the illusion.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Of contention much like they do during the regular season.
Now a glass is half.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Full, person will say, well, wait a minute, the Cowboys
have won three straight years. They won twelve twelve games
or more the last three years. I think they won
exactly twelve games the last three year. But the pessimist,
the classes half empty person will point out they have
just one playoff win in that time and it's not
(06:48):
even a legit victory.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
It's a flawed victory in that run as well.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
So that's where I am on Micah Parson. Now, secondly,
we go to a story that he popping up. It's
like playing whack a mole with his story dateline, washed
up NFL player department. Former former star tight end turned
gas bag and blow hard Rob Gronkowski. Gronk pops up
(07:18):
on our radar. He believes that Lebron James. Lebron James
would have, could have, should have been a legendary NFL
player if only he had decided to switch sports. The
quote from Gronk, Lebron would have been an absolute monster
on the football field. Gronk said this on a random podcast.
(07:42):
I can kind of see him doing the hybrid f
tight end question. How much stalk do you put in
Rob Gronkowski saying Lebron James would have dominated the NFL.
This is what's known as a penny stock. This is
a Penny Stock and on this one, I'm gonna channel
(08:05):
the Batman cartoon in the animation department of Batman. Remember
when the joker says zero zip zil schanada. Yeah, those
are the chances Lebron would.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Have dominated the NFL.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Now I realized that Gronkowski is trying to get engagement.
We all are trying to get engagement. That is what
these jobs are about. Not for smirching that, but Lebron
is simply not tough enough to handle the rigors of
the NFL. Anyone knows sports knows that this is a
guy that complains at every opportunity with NBA officials, and
(08:38):
he says he's fouled on every play. Could you imagine
if he was actually waylaid by NFL players, Good luck
on that, and he would also not be able to
micro manage an NFL team. You imagine if Lebron was
playing for the Patriots and said, you know, I want
you to draft my kid. You think that would happen?
I mean, thinks not so much.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Now.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
The other point I would like to make, and I
always come back to this, I circle back to this
point because it's important in these type of conversations. That hypotheticals,
and that's what this is. It's a hypothetical. Hypotheticals are
great for Rob Gronkowski, or me, or you for that matter, because.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
You're never wrong.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I cannot prove, I cannot disprove that Gronkowski is right
or wrong. I have my opinion that he is wrong.
But Lebron never did it. And that's the other piece
to this puzzle that Lebron James, even though it never happened,
he did have multiple offers to try out in the NFL.
You might remember there was a labor dispute, but a
(09:41):
couple of labor disputes while Lebron's been in the NBA,
and during one of those, Lebron had offers from Pete
Carroll and the old Seattle Seahawks and Jerry Jones and
the Dallas Cowboys to give it a go. He had
the opportunity, there was a window of time where he
was not tied.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
To the NBA. He could have done it. And when
given the opportunity, Lebron James grabbed my tie, put on
his banana hammock, and laid down on a beach somewhere.
That's what he did, all right.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Now, final thought, We're gonna pivot away from the NFL world.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
We're gonna go to baseball.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
The daily blotter in Baseball trade fodder, Toronto infield I
sounded like hollering, James, the daily blodder of trade fodder. Okay,
Toronto infielder Bo Baschett, who could end up could the
weasel word with the Dodgers. Now, Bobachett says he would
(10:39):
not be surprised at all. That's a quote, would not
be surprised at all.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
If the Blue Jays traded his ass.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
His name has been probably mentioned in trade rumors for
about a month and a half, actually more than that.
What do you surmise on this one involving Bobachhet? So
this hits the bulls eye on this particular story. Bobaschet
is working at foot locker. Okay, we're going a foot locker.
And if the shoe fits, wear it. If the shoe
(11:07):
fits where Bobaschett knows from his pops, Dante Bischett, how
the business of baseball works and fun. What I've been
told by my boots on the ground in Toronto that
Bobashett is being guided by a helicopter. Dad, that Dante
bischett is micro managing Bobachett's career.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It doesn't appear he's doing a very good job.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
But if you look at the story wide angle lengths
on the trade fodder, right, the daily blodder of trade fodder.
So you look at the details here, the team blows
check underachievers, he sucks. He's also underachieving. Checked Bashett is
twenty six, he's batting in the two thirty range, and
(11:54):
he's on pace to hit less than ten home runs.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
He will also be a free agent after next season.
And those are.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
All of the ingredients, all of the ingredients required for
a trade.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
That's all of them. That's all you need.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
And you have teams that need help at shortstop. The Dodgers,
from what I've been told, they're gonna move Mookie Bets
back to the outfield. That's the hot rumor in Dodger Land.
The Nerds think that he's too much of a liability defensively.
They're gonna use the excuse as a get out of
Joe free card, and Mookie will move back to the outfield.
And so they're gonna need a full time shortstop unless
they just go with Rojas full time. But that's where
(12:31):
we are on the Bobushet speculation. It is the Ben
Maler Show coming up later this hour, Big bands, lame
jokes of the week.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I know you're dying for that content. The Comedy Club
will be open, longest running comedy club in the history
of Fox Sports Radio. And we have been around longer
than many comedy clubs that had to shut down during
COVID when politicians would not allow people to go have
fun and laugh. We kept going. We did not shut
(13:03):
down Chuckles Comedy Club. It was open and we were
doing business. Yeah, I know that's impressive. It's not you're
not impressed by that pat job by you. It's seven
Malis Show. Will take your calls. Speakeasy rules are in effect.
There's a line opening. You want to grab it. You
can call up, scream, shout, yell, all that good stuff.
We'll take your calls. Time now for the mallor Riddle
(13:24):
of the day. And here's the mallor Riddle of the day.
Retired Philadelphia Eagle center Jason Kelsey.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
It was revealed recently signed blank.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
At a charity event. Again, retired Eagle Center Jason Kelsey.
It was recently revealed signed blank at a charity event.
That is the mallor riddle of the day. The answer,
We'll get to it and we will do it next. However,
before we get to that, we are going to make
(13:59):
a clean break.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
You and I.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I'm gonna hold your hand. I'm going to walk you
through this. It's the hour three a block live read.
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Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Hey, what's up everybody?
Speaker 4 (15:19):
It's me three time pro bowler LeVar Arrington and I
couldn't be more excited to announce a podcast called Up
on Game?
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What is Up on Game? You ask? Along with my
fellow pro bowler TJ.
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Hutschman, Zada and Super Bowl champion Yup, that's right, Plexico Buruts.
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You can only name a show with that type of
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Up on Game We're going to be sharing our real
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The Ben Mahler Shows a collaborative effort. You're invited to
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You can follow your host on X He's at Ben
Mahler and you can post at and follow our executive
producer in tonight for the Coop de Loop.
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It is Shaye with y. He's at FSR Shay s
h a y.
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He blew me off.
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At l I from Thetirack dot Com Fox Sports Radio Studios.
Speaker 6 (16:30):
It's Ben Maller.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Turnout for the Mallor Riddle of the day. We got
lame jokes a week coming up a little bit later.
But here's the Mallor riddle of the day. Retired Philadelphia
Eagle center Jason Kelsey, it was revealed recently signed blank
at a charity event. That is the riddle of the day.
What is the answer, And let's see if anyone knows.
(16:57):
Art Puffin says Jason Kelsey signed a petition to keep
AM radio in cars very important.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Yes, I think that's over.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I think they decided the government that they were good
on that petition to ban Eddie's w NBA updates Guess
by Ferd Dog an unopened copy of toy story from
Asher Late night drug tester says Kelsey signed for hollering
James monthly prescriptions courtesy Flusher should be banned from X
(17:26):
for what he sent me belly button pickle, never send
that again, Mo Cheeks.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Isn't that disgusting? Eddie? Yes, that is horrible. Shame on
you be better than that.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Eloy from Compton says Kelsey signed his name on some
double des is the answer? A lot of people went
with boobies and klingon milkman? Mike said, who else do
we have? Page down? Mark the full name? Guys still
upset with blind as he calls him blind schmuck from Boston.
J Dot in Utah s has Kelsey signed a WWE
(18:04):
contract to whip keg drinking Steve and the chiefs ass,
who else do we have? Peyton Manning's biscuits was guessed
by someone? Who else was that Matty?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Page down? Coming down?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Eeke said he signed a petition to remove Roger Goodell
as commissioner. He signed some vintage video games from Alf
the Alien opineer.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Shout out, Billy Barty, very nice? Who else do we have?
Page down?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Can't read that petition to ban Taylor Swift from NFL games.
Stevie Meatball said he signed obscenities to the death as
what he said or assigned rather bag of donuts from
King Rory that's his answer page down toilet paper from
Andy the comic book guy.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Who else to have signed?
Speaker 2 (18:51):
The answer is signed a Sleepy Joe from Benito, the
long suffering cowboy fan. JJ got this right, bad job
by him clearly cheating. Masshole Mickey said, biscuits. It's quite
the biscuits there, mass Whole Mickey, All right, Eddie, do
you have an answer it to the Mallard riddle of day.
Retired Philadelphia Eagle center Jason Kelsey recently signed blank at
(19:12):
a charity event.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Just like Ricky Bobby and Talladega Knights. He signed a baby,
signed a baby? Is it signed a baby?
Speaker 1 (19:22):
No?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Jason Kelsey sign He signed but dunk a dunk booby
tushy Yes, in honor.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
In honor of.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Jason Kelsey, who was the leader of the tush Push
At the fourth annual Jason Kelsey Beach Bash at the
Ocean Drive in New Jersey. He was signing buttoxes, is
what he was. Cleanest ass. Yeah, I don't know that
I would want to do that, right, I mean, because
(19:57):
the people that want you to sign and there, Keister
are likely.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
People you don't want to see the apple bottom.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
You know what I'm saying, it's kind of like that
thing where you go to the story is. I've never
done this. Eddie told me about this. Eddie likes to
go to nude beaches, and Eddie would tell me that
it's not usually good looking people at nude beaches that
you don't want to see their cabooses when they're out
there in the wild.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
You just don't want to see it. So anyway, that's
what Jason Kelsey's up to now. I guess he lost
a lot of weight. Well, good for him, good for it.
I wonder if he's doing the Internet. It's fastest. You
think it's called ozempic. Ozempic, is that right, I'm not.
I don't cheat. I've never you know, Eddie's the cheater.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
I don't use oseempic, no need to use oseempic, and
you don't need to use ozempic either.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
You're good on that. Let's go to the phones.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
We'll say, he lo to Avery, who's in Lost Wages, Nevada.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Hello, Avery, welcome, Hey, I just.
Speaker 7 (20:54):
Wanted to clear the air on the whole Panama US
say again one about players through I guess I'm not
here to defense soccer, but I'm here to defend the USh.
This guy literally punched another guy in the backfield for
no reason.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
A USA player threw a punch a haymaker.
Speaker 7 (21:15):
Oh yeah, he tried to knock the guy out.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Did he land the punch?
Speaker 8 (21:19):
Yeah he did, he did.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Oh good, at least you landed the punch if you're
gonna throw a punch of them.
Speaker 7 (21:23):
As well, land for once. The guy was not flopping.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Okay, yeah, but I just.
Speaker 7 (21:29):
Wanted to on that. Also, Uh, I think Bronny getting
drafted by Lebron kind of ends the the bait on
the goat thing with Michael Jordan's. I don't think Michael
Jordan'll ever drafted his son. In fact, he'd play against him.
He would want to make him better.
Speaker 8 (21:48):
And like you know, the other thing is, well.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
The difference between Jordan and Lebron is Jordan knew his
kids couldn't play a lict.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
These kids were terrible at basketball.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
And Lebron thinks his kid is great and he's not,
but he believes he's wonderful.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
So maybe maybe that's better.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Maybe maybe it's better that Lebron has faith in his
kid when everyone else is like this guy, he's not
big enough, he's not strong enough and he's just not
good enough.
Speaker 7 (22:16):
But even when Michael Jordan ran the Hornets right for Bobcats,
he never even had to say in who got drafted right?
He didn't make a draft Kimba Walker or what?
Speaker 9 (22:26):
Well?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Isn't he responsible though for the greatest bust in Washington
Wizard's history, Kwame Brown with the Washington Wizards.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
He was there when they drafted Kwame Brown.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Now, Kwame was not a totally failed pick because he
did famously throw a birthday cake. That was his great
moment in the NBA. Threw a birthday cake. We've not
heard from Kwame Brown in a while.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
He had a couple of rants on social media, but
that that was why I go, all.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Right, everything, you will be at the Mala meeting greet
ever you're gonna be there, right, you told me you're
gonna be there.
Speaker 7 (22:51):
I'll throw a birthday cake there.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Well, as long as you throw it at Coop or
Eddie or the race.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
My birthday is on the thirteenth of August, so okay,
uh yeah, well we can celebrate.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
He there, you go, well, celebrate early you can. You
need the cake? All right, thank you, go away. I
let's say he Loo to Jola in Dallas. Hello, Jola, Hmm,
I hear some noise? Did you did he?
Speaker 6 (23:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I think he's sleeping. We got a sleeper. We got
a sleeper. Lullaby? You want to sing a little?
Speaker 6 (23:25):
I think I think we don't need it. It's it's unnecessary.
We need we need some what's the what's the opposite
of a lullaby?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Yeah, he's already sleeping.
Speaker 6 (23:33):
We need to wake him up.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
Okay, I'll do party rock anthem next.
Speaker 6 (23:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Do you have any horns or drums or anything like that?
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Jo wake up, wake up.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
It's the captain of the Safe Harper.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Wake up, Captain Benny the Save Harbor Pirate ship.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
All right, he's not getting up. Hang up on him.
Speaker 6 (23:57):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Let's give you the.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Greatest ten minutes of talk radio in forty five seconds.
Jed who Fled from the Redneck Riviera? Hello, Jed who Fled?
Speaker 8 (24:12):
That's ironically how I sell my sexual encounters. Forty second
the greatness Loreno, you got to if you got a
lullabike good enough to put me to sleep, you need
to go teach uh Andrea how to what you know
magic's all about? Because not many things can't put me asleep,
Red Foss like the end of a magtick. It only
starts fires. He does that in your brain. But then again,
(24:33):
you're calling it Ben mau show and you're wondering what
day of the week it is and stuff like that,
and it's now it's not a good cycle. Your calls
are so good that I just forget what I'm going
to say sometimes, And maybe that's JESU is so good?
What do you think?
Speaker 9 (24:46):
What?
Speaker 8 (24:47):
Martill? I was catching up on something really old and
Marshal did a live read of the RMS Titanic, kiding
and icebergs and that made living great that Mads I
almost tole it myself. How do I live up to
such like Cale? How did I get to share the
co all over the year status with something like that,
like with a wow, what's your audience?
Speaker 2 (25:06):
I understand it's an amazing thing that Marcel had.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
He's really the Edward R. Murrow of our day.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
He's the Walter Cronkite of the modern era, great journalists
of the past. That he's able to report stories no
one else has. We were the only ones that had
that story Marcell about the Titany and thanks to our
friend in Colorado, the milkman for giving him that working
as a and Marcell is just a mouthpiece just reporting
the news.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
He was just reporting the news, just like Jed.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
You just are repeating whatever nonsense you heard somewhere else, right, dude?
Speaker 8 (25:38):
People think I'm gonna make good sense. I go, hey,
good night, good evening, and good luck. But why why
is the wine? What is the wine? What is it
really all about? Man? Because is it about stumbling around
trying to figure out what it's about? Why do you
figure out what to talk about?
Speaker 9 (25:52):
Because?
Speaker 8 (25:52):
And why did you stick with one sports subject per segment?
I love that I've been listening to these places. Dudes,
they tend ball around more than I do. Daicculous. Okay,
are you done? Are you done? Are doing the content?
Are you done? Are you hang up with stuff? You
on the show? What you give me a chance? You
want to? I want?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
You want to toss Eddie, Toss Eddie, go ahead, toss.
Speaker 9 (26:11):
Eddie, Hey, Eddie, the sports, the shuttle sports Eddie go
the winner of sports games than anyone on earth.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
That's a lot.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Cut them off, jo him Another profanity by Jed?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Who done more profanity?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Dumped again the tea. I'd like to apologize to the
women and the children in the audience for Jed's potty mouth.
We will be sending him in the mail some Irish
spring so he can there. Just for profanity, Eddie, that
(26:53):
was obscene content.
Speaker 6 (26:54):
That was a true obscene.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Lies Eddie lies lies, fer liar.
Speaker 6 (27:05):
I win all the time.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Yeah, you know what you have. You have a Costanza problem.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Okay, you have a castand you know what a Costanza
problem is, Eddie.
Speaker 6 (27:13):
I don't know what it is, but I don't have it.
You do, No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Yeah, uh, you know you didn't watch Seinfeld back in
the day.
Speaker 6 (27:19):
I watched some of it.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Yeah, yeah, all right, it's not lying. If you believe it,
you're a liar. But you believe it, it's still lie.
Speaker 6 (27:26):
George did not win much as I remember.
Speaker 5 (27:28):
I went.
Speaker 6 (27:28):
I went all the time every week. As a matter
of fact.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
For the New York Yankees, what are you talking about?
Speaker 5 (27:32):
All right, let's check in on the second round of
the NBA draft. The only drama was would Bronni James,
the son of NBA legend Lebron James, get drafted. The
answer was yes, you knew he would. Fifty fifth overall pick.
Of course, he was selected by the Los Angeles Lakers,
his dad's team. Now, if Bronni does make the roster,
be the first time in NBA history we'd have a
father son duo playing together at the scene.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
I'm old enough to remember Eddie when Lebron and Bronnie downplay.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
So, oh, we don't you know, we're not really worried
about playing together. We don't want to all played again.
Speaker 6 (28:00):
Yeah, yeah right.
Speaker 5 (28:02):
Baseball games of note, we had the Orioles beating their
Ages eleven to two, while the Yankees lost to the
Blue Jays nine to two. George Springer two homer, six
rbi for Toronto, so the Yankees now tied with the
Orioles for the top spot in the Al East. Phillies
lose to the Marlin seven to two. Philadelphia loses the
game and probably starred Bryce Harper for a while, aged
his hamstring running out of grounder in the final out
of the game. He'll have an MRI. On Friday, Guardians
(28:24):
lose to the Royals two to one. The Braves are
shut up with the White Sox one nothing, only run
of the game in the first inning on a Luis
Robert solo homer for Chicago. Angel shut out the Tigers
five nothing ELI starter Dave Davis Daniels, which is hard
for me to say. His first major league start goodwin
eight shotout innings, four hits, eight strikeous, no walks in
the victory twins all over the Diamondbacks thirteen to six.
(28:45):
He had the Cubs down in the Giants five to three,
to ten innings, and the Reds beat the Cardinals eleven
to four. Soccer Copa America US loses the Panama two
to one, and the US now jeogardy of missing out
on advancing into the knockout.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Rounds, got red card.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Eddy Avery broke it down for US because of the
red car and USI guy molly wopped another.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
Punched other guy. Yeah, we have to go see if
the video of that, see if that's accurate or not.
NHL we had the Color Avalanche, the Star, Nathan McKinnon
winning the Heart Trophy as the League MVP, Counter Badard
of Chicago your Rookie of the Year, and.
Speaker 6 (29:17):
The Ben Mallard w NBA Game of the Nights.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
I'm a woman, hear me roar the.
Speaker 5 (29:23):
Fever lose to the Storm eighty nine to seventy seven.
Of course, of course we mentioned this because Caitlyn Clark played.
She had fifteen points in the loss.
Speaker 6 (29:35):
Some news from the NBA other than the draft.
Speaker 5 (29:36):
I did see that the Boston Celtics star Christaps porzingis
under with surgery to repair a torn.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Retina cullum, say a ankle to repair his ankle.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
We didn't go to medical school, Eddie.
Speaker 6 (29:55):
And a dislocate sterior tibolus.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Ten brocus posterior, Eddie, that sounds like a.
Speaker 5 (30:03):
Problem tibolus tendon. It's a rare ankle injury. It could
have just said rare ankle injury.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Just say ankle injury by audience.
Speaker 5 (30:10):
Five months Well, I thought it would be funny if
I tried to say a hard word and it wasn't funny,
It's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Leave the funny to me, Eddie. You're the serious guy.
I'm the funny guy.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
We'll give me some funny, then funny, man.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
I put the fun in. Funny is what I do,
and I put the fun I am. My favorite word
is the F fort Eddie. Fun fun fun fun fun
fun fun fun fun fun fun fun.
Speaker 10 (30:34):
I just keep saying it till we drop fun fun
fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun
fun fun fun fun fun fun.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Alright, already she's not playing it, Eddie.
Speaker 10 (30:44):
Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun
fun fun which unfortunate fun?
Speaker 1 (30:50):
I don't have fun? You want the fun fact button?
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Who do you think I want? I thought you might
also like a million dollars? Can you give me that
fun fact?
Speaker 8 (31:02):
All right?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Fun fact comes from Ohio, where Wilson Football just open
a fifteen million dollar factory and they have extended their
deal with the NFL to make the Duke.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
The Duke is the.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Game ball of the NFL eighty thousand square foot facility
in the great state of Ohio, and they're going to
boost the annual production every year. How many footballs? Here's
the question, This is the fun fact part of it.
How many footballs do they make at the Wilson Football
(31:39):
Factory per year. We're gonna go round the room with
a round robin. We'll see if anyone get it right, Eddie.
How many footballs per year? The does the Wilson Football
Factory in Ohio make the actual game.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Ball for the NFL?
Speaker 6 (31:54):
Two million? Football's been two million?
Speaker 2 (31:56):
All right, Lorraine, Ah, I'm going to say, five hundred
and seventy four footballs.
Speaker 8 (32:02):
Ben.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Okay, that's very amazing answer, Shaye. Would you like to
be in on this ship?
Speaker 6 (32:08):
Of course I'm gonna go one million to fifty thousand.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Okay, so thank you.
Speaker 6 (32:15):
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna win. I'm gonna finally win
one of these.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Actually, you went over Eddie, so Lorena ends up. Yes,
Lorena the show down.
Speaker 6 (32:25):
That's ridiculous. Who's made that stupid role?
Speaker 2 (32:28):
You can't go over Bob Barker. They current screw him.
Is four hundred thousand game balls a year they make.
They're going to increase that to five hundred thousand game
balls from the Wilson factory in Ohio. The goal is
to reach seven hundred thousand game balls. That's a lot
of balls, Eddie, seven hundred thousand balls.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
This incoming years, incoming years, so we have that to
look forward to.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
It is the Ben Malor Show. We're gonna have big bends.
Lame Joe, are you there, wet Man?
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Hello? Weed Man? Are you there? Wet Man? Yeah, he's
not in jail. All right, stay there, don't don't hang out.
Speaker 6 (33:10):
That's good all right.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
For the I have a big Block.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
I'm on time, Aller by the clock, four the clock,
Plausaby all about the clock.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
And we'll have big Bends, lame jokes of the week.
We'll get to that. We'll do it next.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 5 (33:29):
Step into a world of imagination. The Ben Malor Show
has no marketing budget. We need your assistance in growing
the congregation of the Mallard militia.
Speaker 9 (33:37):
How do you do it?
Speaker 5 (33:38):
Tag Malar related content on all social media networks. You
are the missing jigsaw puzzle piece to unlock the Ben
Mallor Show to new compatriots and now live on the
tirack dot com Fox Sports Radio Studios.
Speaker 6 (33:49):
It's Ben Maller.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Knock knock, Who's there? Blame week?
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Blame week who, It's Big Bends, Lame.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Joke of the week, and away we go, Big Ben's
Lane jokes a week every week at this time the
said listen submitted jokes. You can send jokes in for
a future episode of the show. Send them Caar of
Benmalershow at gmail dot com. Benmaller Show at gmail dot com.
Put jokes in the headlines and we will read.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
Your commentary on the air. If they're funny, there will
you have time to get So weed Man is my clown.
He's the court gesture are they're weed Man?
Speaker 3 (34:26):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Good job by you staying out of jail tonight, weed Man,
We're proud of you.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
All right. Why couldn't Lizzo play with dolls? Why were
they were too small for her? So she had to
use little people instead?
Speaker 9 (34:47):
No?
Speaker 2 (34:48):
No, In Austin, A lot of people don't realize that
Lizzo made her big screen movie debut last year.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Wow. Yeah, she was the star of co Cane Bear.
That was Dan in South Carolina? All right. After the
success of.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Benny Versus the Penny, apparently, I have been offered the
opportunity for a new show.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
I'll be picking games against my arch enemy Lizzo. How
about that weed Man?
Speaker 9 (35:18):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Yeah, the show is going to be called Benny Versus
the Yetti Dan from South Carolina. Have you heard how
many people start to look like their pets? A lot
of people they start turning into their pets. Yeah, Well,
it turns out Lizzo looks a lot like her husky,
(35:39):
A lot husky. That's a super Todd the comedian. What
this one's from Gordon and Tacoma. What does Lizzo watch
while eating a dessert?
Speaker 8 (35:51):
What?
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Back to back episodes of sixty Minutes, sig. Here's some
other surprising news to hear that Lizzo threw her name
into the hat to replace Tom Looney on Benny Versus
the Penny.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Yeah, she says TV makes him look much fatter and
it's embarrassing for the show. Here's here's here's a quick one.
What is Lizzo's favorite seafood?
Speaker 9 (36:22):
What?
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Jellyfish? That was some chip in Maine. It's Big Ben's
lame jokes of the week. Why is Lizzo suing Texas
Restaurants for false advertising?
Speaker 3 (36:37):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Why? Well, she thought when they advertised a Texas sized
burger she would actually.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Get a burger the.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Size of Texas. That's George of Uvaldi Texas. Did you
hear that Miss Alabama is dating?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Yeah? Yeah, she and the Alabama Elephant are really hitting
it off. They're really.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
It's Big Ben's lames jokes League. Why did weed Man
leave the beach? Why? Because he found out his new
sand dollar collection was worth less than his big coin.
Have you tried to use those sand dollars? That's some
chip in Maine. Have you tried to use those sand
dollars weed Man at the store?
Speaker 8 (37:24):
No?
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Never, Yeah, they don't really work very nice. All right,
let's see what do we have next year. What's weed
Man Hippie's favorite part of Game of Thrones? What the
High Council? You like the High Council? We've met Stan
in South Carolina? Why was weed Man arrested for trespassing?
Why don't know? You were protesting against work at the
(37:48):
employment office.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
You were protesting.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Against work at the employment office. That is Frank in Fargo.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Thank you, Frank. Did you hear that they had to
take away weed man hippies? Ebt card?
Speaker 9 (38:00):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Why?
Speaker 8 (38:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (38:02):
It kept getting sand, well, you kept getting sand in
the scanners. Weed Man we got him said.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
It's a bad job, bad job. That's Gordon in Tacoma.
Why is weed Man envious of Felexus in Buffalo? Why?
Because Felexus has more toes than weed Man has teeth.
Have you found your Have you found your teeth yet?
Speaker 6 (38:29):
Weed Man?
Speaker 9 (38:33):
All right?
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Why should weed Man? Or why should Eddie, let weed
Man stay in his yard.
Speaker 8 (38:38):
Yeah, okay, it'll.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Keep the flies away from the house. That's a Noah.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
In Austin, we actually have some surprising hockey news here.
Did you hear that weed man hippie what he had
to say about the Florida Panthers winning the Stanley Cup?
Speaker 1 (38:55):
He said, weed Man said saved me money is what
he said. That's what he said. Hill Billy Mike.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Sent that one in a very nice will move on.
What do you call a church next? What do you
call a church next to a church? What a double
cross is?
Speaker 7 (39:16):
What?
Speaker 1 (39:20):
That's from someone who's never sent a joking before. Bible
belt Billy is what he's being called. He wants to
be known as that.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
He's in Arkansas, although his email has a different name
on it. Here's another one from Bible belt Billy in Arkansas.
How did the priest get the church?
Speaker 6 (39:34):
Weed Man?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (39:36):
He used the crosswalk is what he did. The crosswalk
is what it was. That is a cornball dad joke
from Bible belt Billy. But thank you for that. How
did the Lakers persuade Lebron to re sign?
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Wow? Well, the genie buss put into the Laker bylaws
a take your son to work policy.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
That's a chip ship in Maine. Thank you for that chip.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
It's big Band's lame jokes a week. These are actual
jokes sent him by actual listeners. If Eddie Garcia and
some of his hockey teammates formed a boy band, what
would they call it?
Speaker 1 (40:17):
What in rink is what they want? That's Eke and Roseville, Minnesota.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Why doesn't Eddie Garcia like the lame jokes segment on
this show every.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Week at this time?
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Why if you watched the w n b A every
night you wouldn't have a sense of humor either.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Okay, that is from Darryl who sent that one in.
Thank you, Darryl. Very nice there. What do you call
a bird going south? No matter the season? No matter
the season, a bird going south, you call it hawk? Tua?
Is what you call it? Weed man?
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Tua?
Speaker 1 (41:01):
That's hurt from Earth? Who sent that one in?
Speaker 3 (41:05):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (41:05):
All right, we got time for a couple more. This
one is from Steve. He says, why are janitor is
not allowed to use curse words?
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Why? Because they got to keep it clean? Weed man,
they gotta keep it. That seems like a classic dad joke.
All right, here's the last one. Are you ready, weed man? Yeah,
I'm proud of you for staying out of jail. By
the way, good job by you.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Where you stand tonight, Lincoln?
Speaker 8 (41:35):
But not okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Did you hear that Blair in Maine took an extra
pair of socks to the golf course.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
No, yeah, Blair was worried he might get a hole
in one. A hole in one there is.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
That's from Billy Billy big Ben's lame jokes of the week.
Faky weed Man, stay safe out there, Stay safe in Miami.
Hello and welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
It's our numb birth three and we head to Jerry's world.
How about them Cowboys star Micah Parsons is said to
be an emerging sleeper MVP candidate. Is that based in
the real world or is that on fantasy Island? Also,
how much stock do you put in Rob Gronkowski saying
(00:25):
Lebron James would have dominated the NFL? And Bobaschett, we'll
talk some baseball. Bobaschett says he would not be surprised
at all if the Blue Jays trade his ass out
of Canada. Amid rumors, what do you surmise on the
Bobaschett story. We've got lame jokes of the week as well,
all of it coming your way right now. Give it
(00:47):
up for our number three. It's all about the chatter.
It's all about the chatter well gone. In the beginning
of another hour of The Ben Maler Show, we are
all united together in the air everywhere neighboring as we
(01:09):
try to polish our act coast to coast, border, the
border and beyond. On the vast and rollickingly powerful microphones
of fsre amminating live from the nests as we hang
out with our fellow night owls. We're broadcasting live from
the ti raq dot Com studios. Tyraq dot com will
(01:30):
help you get there, an unmatched selection, fast, free shipping,
free road hazard protection, and over ten thousand recommended installers.
For some reason, Justin and Cincinnati smiled ten thousand times
after the big presidential debate on Thursday. I have no
idea why tire raq dot com the Way Tire Buying
(01:51):
Show be in our lead this hour from the NFL.
We'll get back to the Brownie James conversation later as
the Lakers keeping it all in the family, Lebron, this
is so good drafting his kid, Lebron. Does he have
(02:14):
a share of ownership in the Lakers? I mean, does
Geenie Buss do anything?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
What is she doing anyway?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Alrightly, this hour is not from that. It's from the NFL.
We head to the train depot, the Dallas depot. The
hype train is leaving the station. Choe. Yeah, it is
a rite of summer life. If you know how this works.
Sports talk radio, sports Hype.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
The month of June. We're getting to the late June
training camp is still about a month away, and this is.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
About the time you start banging the drum and hyping
them up at Dallas Cowboys.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
So you didn't hear the latest we.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Got you, State funded NFL media, the propaganda arm of
the National Football League tell us the Cowboys edge rusher
Micah Parsons, they claim is a serious dark horse candidate
for Most Valuable Player in twenty twenty four. The breathless
(03:14):
reporting that Parsons is so disrupt on the field in
Jerry's world that he has a shot at winning the prize,
not just Defensive Player of the Year, but Most Valuable Player.
Holy Canoli Batman. So let's discuss the question Cowboys defensive
(03:36):
star Micah Parsons said to be emerging as a sleeper
NVP candidates. Is this the real world or is this
fantasy island? Okay, so I've got Froggy, Batman and foot Locker,
(03:57):
and we will combine all of these things together and
we are going to have.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
A hole in one.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Of course, the hole in one will be at a
miniature golf course with a windmill spinning.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Around, but it's still a hole in one.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
First of all, though, on this going to I'm gonna
date myself a little bit here with this reference, but
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
If you're an old geezer, you'll get it.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
And Loraina tells me we only have people over the
age of eighty that listen to the show. She says
that the core demographic to this show is between eighty
and ninety years old.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
That's what she tells me.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
But if you're old, if you're an old geezer, you're
gonna get this reverence in the cartoon bubble in my
head when I saw this headline that Micah Parsons is
an MVP candidate, the cartoon bubble, I can see the
diminutive tattoo spotting the Cowboys seaplane off in the distance
as it was making its way to approaching Fantasy Island,
(04:51):
and then running up a tower and excitedly yelling.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Deeplane, deeplane and ringing a.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Bell because this is Fantasy Island, this is make believe,
this is Never Never Land. He would have to Michael
Parsons would have to play frog gate he orgo. He
would have to leapfrog, jumping over legends like Patrick Mahomey,
Patrick mahomes and Joe Burrow as well. We know every
(05:21):
man a child knows it is an offensive award. It's
not a defensive ward. The last defender to win an
MVP award was Giants legend Lawrence Taylor four decades ago.
And if Aaron Donald, who dominated the interior of defenses
helped carry the Rams to the Super Bowl a couple
of times, if he never sniffed the MVP, why on
(05:42):
God's Green Earth would Michael Parsons. And well, Michael Parsons
has a lot of accolades in his short career, and
he has certainly helped us out by stirring things up.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
I got to point out there's a lot of empty calories.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And I remember last season. If you go back in
the DeLorean to last year, Micah Parsons was voted the
MVP after two games. It turns out that those two
games were against the Giants and the Jets, and then
when he started playing other teams it turned out to
just be a mirage and Dallas. This time of the
(06:16):
year is a big time of the year for the
Cowboys because they give the illusion.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Of contention much like they do during the regular season.
Now a glass is half.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Full, person will say, well, wait a minute, the Cowboys
have won three straight years. They won twelve twelve games
or more the last three years. I think they won
exactly twelve games the last three year. But the pessimist,
the classes half empty person will point out they have
just one playoff win in that time and it's not
(06:48):
even a legit victory.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
It's a flawed victory in that run as well.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
So that's where I am on Micah Parson. Now, secondly,
we go to a story that he popping up. It's
like playing whack a mole with his story dateline, washed
up NFL player department. Former former star tight end turned
gas bag and blow hard Rob Gronkowski. Gronk pops up
(07:18):
on our radar. He believes that Lebron James. Lebron James
would have, could have, should have been a legendary NFL
player if only he had decided to switch sports. The
quote from Gronk, Lebron would have been an absolute monster
on the football field. Gronk said this on a random podcast.
(07:42):
I can kind of see him doing the hybrid f
tight end question. How much stalk do you put in
Rob Gronkowski saying Lebron James would have dominated the NFL.
This is what's known as a penny stock. This is
a Penny Stock and on this one, I'm gonna channel
(08:05):
the Batman cartoon in the animation department of Batman. Remember
when the joker says zero zip zil schanada. Yeah, those
are the chances Lebron would.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Have dominated the NFL.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Now I realized that Gronkowski is trying to get engagement.
We all are trying to get engagement. That is what
these jobs are about. Not for smirching that, but Lebron
is simply not tough enough to handle the rigors of
the NFL. Anyone knows sports knows that this is a
guy that complains at every opportunity with NBA officials, and
(08:38):
he says he's fouled on every play. Could you imagine
if he was actually waylaid by NFL players, Good luck
on that, and he would also not be able to
micro manage an NFL team. You imagine if Lebron was
playing for the Patriots and said, you know, I want
you to draft my kid. You think that would happen?
I mean, thinks not so much.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Now.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
The other point I would like to make, and I
always come back to this, I circle back to this
point because it's important in these type of conversations. That hypotheticals,
and that's what this is. It's a hypothetical. Hypotheticals are
great for Rob Gronkowski, or me, or you for that matter, because.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
You're never wrong.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I cannot prove, I cannot disprove that Gronkowski is right
or wrong. I have my opinion that he is wrong.
But Lebron never did it. And that's the other piece
to this puzzle that Lebron James, even though it never happened,
he did have multiple offers to try out in the NFL.
You might remember there was a labor dispute, but a
(09:41):
couple of labor disputes while Lebron's been in the NBA,
and during one of those, Lebron had offers from Pete
Carroll and the old Seattle Seahawks and Jerry Jones and
the Dallas Cowboys to give it a go. He had
the opportunity, there was a window of time where he
was not tied.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
To the NBA. He could have done it. And when
given the opportunity, Lebron James grabbed my tie, put on
his banana hammock, and laid down on a beach somewhere.
That's what he did, all right.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Now, final thought, We're gonna pivot away from the NFL world.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
We're gonna go to baseball.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
The daily blotter in Baseball trade fodder, Toronto infield I
sounded like hollering, James, the daily blodder of trade fodder. Okay,
Toronto infielder Bo Baschett, who could end up could the
weasel word with the Dodgers. Now, Bobachett says he would
(10:39):
not be surprised at all. That's a quote, would not
be surprised at all.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
If the Blue Jays traded his ass.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
His name has been probably mentioned in trade rumors for
about a month and a half, actually more than that.
What do you surmise on this one involving Bobachhet? So
this hits the bulls eye on this particular story. Bobaschet
is working at foot locker. Okay, we're going a foot locker.
And if the shoe fits, wear it. If the shoe
(11:07):
fits where Bobaschett knows from his pops, Dante Bischett, how
the business of baseball works and fun. What I've been
told by my boots on the ground in Toronto that
Bobashett is being guided by a helicopter. Dad, that Dante
bischett is micro managing Bobachett's career.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It doesn't appear he's doing a very good job.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
But if you look at the story wide angle lengths
on the trade fodder, right, the daily blodder of trade fodder.
So you look at the details here, the team blows
check underachievers, he sucks. He's also underachieving. Checked Bashett is
twenty six, he's batting in the two thirty range, and
(11:54):
he's on pace to hit less than ten home runs.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
He will also be a free agent after next season.
And those are.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
All of the ingredients, all of the ingredients required for
a trade.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
That's all of them. That's all you need.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
And you have teams that need help at shortstop. The Dodgers,
from what I've been told, they're gonna move Mookie Bets
back to the outfield. That's the hot rumor in Dodger Land.
The Nerds think that he's too much of a liability defensively.
They're gonna use the excuse as a get out of
Joe free card, and Mookie will move back to the outfield.
And so they're gonna need a full time shortstop unless
they just go with Rojas full time. But that's where
(12:31):
we are on the Bobushet speculation. It is the Ben
Maler Show coming up later this hour, Big bands, lame
jokes of the week.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I know you're dying for that content. The Comedy Club
will be open, longest running comedy club in the history
of Fox Sports Radio. And we have been around longer
than many comedy clubs that had to shut down during
COVID when politicians would not allow people to go have
fun and laugh. We kept going. We did not shut
(13:03):
down Chuckles Comedy Club. It was open and we were
doing business. Yeah, I know that's impressive. It's not you're
not impressed by that pat job by you. It's seven
Malis Show. Will take your calls. Speakeasy rules are in effect.
There's a line opening. You want to grab it. You
can call up, scream, shout, yell, all that good stuff.
We'll take your calls. Time now for the mallor Riddle
(13:24):
of the day. And here's the mallor Riddle of the day.
Retired Philadelphia Eagle center Jason Kelsey.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
It was revealed recently signed blank.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
At a charity event. Again, retired Eagle Center Jason Kelsey.
It was recently revealed signed blank at a charity event.
That is the mallor riddle of the day. The answer,
We'll get to it and we will do it next. However,
before we get to that, we are going to make
(13:59):
a clean break.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
You and I.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I'm gonna hold your hand. I'm going to walk you
through this. It's the hour three a block live read.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
I know, I know again a little tingling Well.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
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Speaker 3 (15:12):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Hey, what's up everybody?
Speaker 4 (15:19):
It's me three time pro bowler LeVar Arrington and I
couldn't be more excited to announce a podcast called Up
on Game?
Speaker 1 (15:26):
What is Up on Game? You ask? Along with my
fellow pro bowler TJ.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Hutschman, Zada and Super Bowl champion Yup, that's right, Plexico Buruts.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
You can only name a show with that type of
talent on it.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Up on Game We're going to be sharing our real
life experiences loaded with teachable moments. Listen to Up on
Game with Me, LeVar Arrington, TJ. Hutchman, Zada, and Plexico
Burds on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
get your podcast from.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
The Ben Mahler Shows a collaborative effort. You're invited to
communicate with those of us on this side of the microphones.
You can follow your host on X He's at Ben
Mahler and you can post at and follow our executive
producer in tonight for the Coop de Loop.
Speaker 6 (16:18):
It is Shaye with y. He's at FSR Shay s
h a y.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
He blew me off.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
At l I from Thetirack dot Com Fox Sports Radio Studios.
Speaker 6 (16:30):
It's Ben Maller.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Turnout for the Mallor Riddle of the day. We got
lame jokes a week coming up a little bit later.
But here's the Mallor riddle of the day. Retired Philadelphia
Eagle center Jason Kelsey, it was revealed recently signed blank
at a charity event. That is the riddle of the day.
What is the answer, And let's see if anyone knows.
(16:57):
Art Puffin says Jason Kelsey signed a petition to keep
AM radio in cars very important.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Yes, I think that's over.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I think they decided the government that they were good
on that petition to ban Eddie's w NBA updates Guess
by Ferd Dog an unopened copy of toy story from
Asher Late night drug tester says Kelsey signed for hollering
James monthly prescriptions courtesy Flusher should be banned from X
(17:26):
for what he sent me belly button pickle, never send
that again, Mo Cheeks.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Isn't that disgusting? Eddie? Yes, that is horrible. Shame on
you be better than that.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Eloy from Compton says Kelsey signed his name on some
double des is the answer? A lot of people went
with boobies and klingon milkman? Mike said, who else do
we have? Page down? Mark the full name? Guys still
upset with blind as he calls him blind schmuck from Boston.
J Dot in Utah s has Kelsey signed a WWE
(18:04):
contract to whip keg drinking Steve and the chiefs ass,
who else do we have? Peyton Manning's biscuits was guessed
by someone? Who else was that Matty?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Page down? Coming down?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Eeke said he signed a petition to remove Roger Goodell
as commissioner. He signed some vintage video games from Alf
the Alien opineer.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Shout out, Billy Barty, very nice? Who else do we have?
Page down?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Can't read that petition to ban Taylor Swift from NFL games.
Stevie Meatball said he signed obscenities to the death as
what he said or assigned rather bag of donuts from
King Rory that's his answer page down toilet paper from
Andy the comic book guy.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Who else to have signed?
Speaker 2 (18:51):
The answer is signed a Sleepy Joe from Benito, the
long suffering cowboy fan. JJ got this right, bad job
by him clearly cheating. Masshole Mickey said, biscuits. It's quite
the biscuits there, mass Whole Mickey, All right, Eddie, do
you have an answer it to the Mallard riddle of day.
Retired Philadelphia Eagle center Jason Kelsey recently signed blank at
(19:12):
a charity event.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Just like Ricky Bobby and Talladega Knights. He signed a baby,
signed a baby? Is it signed a baby?
Speaker 1 (19:22):
No?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Jason Kelsey sign He signed but dunk a dunk booby
tushy Yes, in honor.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
In honor of.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Jason Kelsey, who was the leader of the tush Push
At the fourth annual Jason Kelsey Beach Bash at the
Ocean Drive in New Jersey. He was signing buttoxes, is
what he was. Cleanest ass. Yeah, I don't know that
I would want to do that, right, I mean, because
(19:57):
the people that want you to sign and there, Keister
are likely.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
People you don't want to see the apple bottom.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
You know what I'm saying, it's kind of like that
thing where you go to the story is. I've never
done this. Eddie told me about this. Eddie likes to
go to nude beaches, and Eddie would tell me that
it's not usually good looking people at nude beaches that
you don't want to see their cabooses when they're out
there in the wild.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
You just don't want to see it. So anyway, that's
what Jason Kelsey's up to now. I guess he lost
a lot of weight. Well, good for him, good for it.
I wonder if he's doing the Internet. It's fastest. You
think it's called ozempic. Ozempic, is that right, I'm not.
I don't cheat. I've never you know, Eddie's the cheater.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
I don't use oseempic, no need to use oseempic, and
you don't need to use ozempic either.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
You're good on that. Let's go to the phones.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
We'll say, he lo to Avery, who's in Lost Wages, Nevada.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Hello, Avery, welcome, Hey, I just.
Speaker 7 (20:54):
Wanted to clear the air on the whole Panama US
say again one about players through I guess I'm not
here to defense soccer, but I'm here to defend the USh.
This guy literally punched another guy in the backfield for
no reason.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
A USA player threw a punch a haymaker.
Speaker 7 (21:15):
Oh yeah, he tried to knock the guy out.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Did he land the punch?
Speaker 8 (21:19):
Yeah he did, he did.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Oh good, at least you landed the punch if you're
gonna throw a punch of them.
Speaker 7 (21:23):
As well, land for once. The guy was not flopping.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Okay, yeah, but I just.
Speaker 7 (21:29):
Wanted to on that. Also, Uh, I think Bronny getting
drafted by Lebron kind of ends the the bait on
the goat thing with Michael Jordan's. I don't think Michael
Jordan'll ever drafted his son. In fact, he'd play against him.
He would want to make him better.
Speaker 8 (21:48):
And like you know, the other thing is, well.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
The difference between Jordan and Lebron is Jordan knew his
kids couldn't play a lict.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
These kids were terrible at basketball.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
And Lebron thinks his kid is great and he's not,
but he believes he's wonderful.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
So maybe maybe that's better.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Maybe maybe it's better that Lebron has faith in his
kid when everyone else is like this guy, he's not
big enough, he's not strong enough and he's just not
good enough.
Speaker 7 (22:16):
But even when Michael Jordan ran the Hornets right for Bobcats,
he never even had to say in who got drafted right?
He didn't make a draft Kimba Walker or what?
Speaker 9 (22:26):
Well?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Isn't he responsible though for the greatest bust in Washington
Wizard's history, Kwame Brown with the Washington Wizards.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
He was there when they drafted Kwame Brown.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Now, Kwame was not a totally failed pick because he
did famously throw a birthday cake. That was his great
moment in the NBA. Threw a birthday cake. We've not
heard from Kwame Brown in a while.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
He had a couple of rants on social media, but
that that was why I go, all.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Right, everything, you will be at the Mala meeting greet
ever you're gonna be there, right, you told me you're
gonna be there.
Speaker 7 (22:51):
I'll throw a birthday cake there.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Well, as long as you throw it at Coop or
Eddie or the race.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
My birthday is on the thirteenth of August, so okay,
uh yeah, well we can celebrate.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
He there, you go, well, celebrate early you can. You
need the cake? All right, thank you, go away. I
let's say he Loo to Jola in Dallas. Hello, Jola, Hmm,
I hear some noise? Did you did he?
Speaker 6 (23:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I think he's sleeping. We got a sleeper. We got
a sleeper. Lullaby? You want to sing a little?
Speaker 6 (23:25):
I think I think we don't need it. It's it's unnecessary.
We need we need some what's the what's the opposite
of a lullaby?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Yeah, he's already sleeping.
Speaker 6 (23:33):
We need to wake him up.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
Okay, I'll do party rock anthem next.
Speaker 6 (23:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Do you have any horns or drums or anything like that?
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Jo wake up, wake up.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
It's the captain of the Safe Harper.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Wake up, Captain Benny the Save Harbor Pirate ship.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
All right, he's not getting up. Hang up on him.
Speaker 6 (23:57):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Let's give you the.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Greatest ten minutes of talk radio in forty five seconds.
Jed who Fled from the Redneck Riviera? Hello, Jed who Fled?
Speaker 8 (24:12):
That's ironically how I sell my sexual encounters. Forty second
the greatness Loreno, you got to if you got a
lullabike good enough to put me to sleep, you need
to go teach uh Andrea how to what you know
magic's all about? Because not many things can't put me asleep,
Red Foss like the end of a magtick. It only
starts fires. He does that in your brain. But then again,
(24:33):
you're calling it Ben mau show and you're wondering what
day of the week it is and stuff like that,
and it's now it's not a good cycle. Your calls
are so good that I just forget what I'm going
to say sometimes, And maybe that's JESU is so good?
What do you think?
Speaker 9 (24:46):
What?
Speaker 8 (24:47):
Martill? I was catching up on something really old and
Marshal did a live read of the RMS Titanic, kiding
and icebergs and that made living great that Mads I
almost tole it myself. How do I live up to
such like Cale? How did I get to share the
co all over the year status with something like that,
like with a wow, what's your audience?
Speaker 2 (25:06):
I understand it's an amazing thing that Marcel had.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
He's really the Edward R. Murrow of our day.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
He's the Walter Cronkite of the modern era, great journalists
of the past. That he's able to report stories no
one else has. We were the only ones that had
that story Marcell about the Titany and thanks to our
friend in Colorado, the milkman for giving him that working
as a and Marcell is just a mouthpiece just reporting
the news.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
He was just reporting the news, just like Jed.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
You just are repeating whatever nonsense you heard somewhere else, right, dude?
Speaker 8 (25:38):
People think I'm gonna make good sense. I go, hey,
good night, good evening, and good luck. But why why
is the wine? What is the wine? What is it
really all about? Man? Because is it about stumbling around
trying to figure out what it's about? Why do you
figure out what to talk about?
Speaker 9 (25:52):
Because?
Speaker 8 (25:52):
And why did you stick with one sports subject per segment?
I love that I've been listening to these places. Dudes,
they tend ball around more than I do. Daicculous. Okay,
are you done? Are you done? Are doing the content?
Are you done? Are you hang up with stuff? You
on the show? What you give me a chance? You
want to? I want?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
You want to toss Eddie, Toss Eddie, go ahead, toss.
Speaker 9 (26:11):
Eddie, Hey, Eddie, the sports, the shuttle sports Eddie go
the winner of sports games than anyone on earth.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
That's a lot.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Cut them off, jo him Another profanity by Jed?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Who done more profanity?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Dumped again the tea. I'd like to apologize to the
women and the children in the audience for Jed's potty mouth.
We will be sending him in the mail some Irish
spring so he can there. Just for profanity, Eddie, that
(26:53):
was obscene content.
Speaker 6 (26:54):
That was a true obscene.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Lies Eddie lies lies, fer liar.
Speaker 6 (27:05):
I win all the time.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Yeah, you know what you have. You have a Costanza problem.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Okay, you have a castand you know what a Costanza
problem is, Eddie.
Speaker 6 (27:13):
I don't know what it is, but I don't have it.
You do, No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Yeah, uh, you know you didn't watch Seinfeld back in
the day.
Speaker 6 (27:19):
I watched some of it.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Yeah, yeah, all right, it's not lying. If you believe it,
you're a liar. But you believe it, it's still lie.
Speaker 6 (27:26):
George did not win much as I remember.
Speaker 5 (27:28):
I went.
Speaker 6 (27:28):
I went all the time every week. As a matter
of fact.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
For the New York Yankees, what are you talking about?
Speaker 5 (27:32):
All right, let's check in on the second round of
the NBA draft. The only drama was would Bronni James,
the son of NBA legend Lebron James, get drafted. The
answer was yes, you knew he would. Fifty fifth overall pick.
Of course, he was selected by the Los Angeles Lakers,
his dad's team. Now, if Bronni does make the roster,
be the first time in NBA history we'd have a
father son duo playing together at the scene.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
I'm old enough to remember Eddie when Lebron and Bronnie downplay.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
So, oh, we don't you know, we're not really worried
about playing together. We don't want to all played again.
Speaker 6 (28:00):
Yeah, yeah right.
Speaker 5 (28:02):
Baseball games of note, we had the Orioles beating their
Ages eleven to two, while the Yankees lost to the
Blue Jays nine to two. George Springer two homer, six
rbi for Toronto, so the Yankees now tied with the
Orioles for the top spot in the Al East. Phillies
lose to the Marlin seven to two. Philadelphia loses the
game and probably starred Bryce Harper for a while, aged
his hamstring running out of grounder in the final out
of the game. He'll have an MRI. On Friday, Guardians
(28:24):
lose to the Royals two to one. The Braves are
shut up with the White Sox one nothing, only run
of the game in the first inning on a Luis
Robert solo homer for Chicago. Angel shut out the Tigers
five nothing ELI starter Dave Davis Daniels, which is hard
for me to say. His first major league start goodwin
eight shotout innings, four hits, eight strikeous, no walks in
the victory twins all over the Diamondbacks thirteen to six.
(28:45):
He had the Cubs down in the Giants five to three,
to ten innings, and the Reds beat the Cardinals eleven
to four. Soccer Copa America US loses the Panama two
to one, and the US now jeogardy of missing out
on advancing into the knockout.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Rounds, got red card.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Eddy Avery broke it down for US because of the
red car and USI guy molly wopped another.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
Punched other guy. Yeah, we have to go see if
the video of that, see if that's accurate or not.
NHL we had the Color Avalanche, the Star, Nathan McKinnon
winning the Heart Trophy as the League MVP, Counter Badard
of Chicago your Rookie of the Year, and.
Speaker 6 (29:17):
The Ben Mallard w NBA Game of the Nights.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
I'm a woman, hear me roar the.
Speaker 5 (29:23):
Fever lose to the Storm eighty nine to seventy seven.
Of course, of course we mentioned this because Caitlyn Clark played.
She had fifteen points in the loss.
Speaker 6 (29:35):
Some news from the NBA other than the draft.
Speaker 5 (29:36):
I did see that the Boston Celtics star Christaps porzingis
under with surgery to repair a torn.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Retina cullum, say a ankle to repair his ankle.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
We didn't go to medical school, Eddie.
Speaker 6 (29:55):
And a dislocate sterior tibolus.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Ten brocus posterior, Eddie, that sounds like a.
Speaker 5 (30:03):
Problem tibolus tendon. It's a rare ankle injury. It could
have just said rare ankle injury.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Just say ankle injury by audience.
Speaker 5 (30:10):
Five months Well, I thought it would be funny if
I tried to say a hard word and it wasn't funny,
It's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Leave the funny to me, Eddie. You're the serious guy.
I'm the funny guy.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
We'll give me some funny, then funny, man.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
I put the fun in. Funny is what I do,
and I put the fun I am. My favorite word
is the F fort Eddie. Fun fun fun fun fun
fun fun fun fun fun fun fun.
Speaker 10 (30:34):
I just keep saying it till we drop fun fun
fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun
fun fun fun fun fun fun.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Alright, already she's not playing it, Eddie.
Speaker 10 (30:44):
Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun
fun fun which unfortunate fun?
Speaker 1 (30:50):
I don't have fun? You want the fun fact button?
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Who do you think I want? I thought you might
also like a million dollars? Can you give me that
fun fact?
Speaker 8 (31:02):
All right?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Fun fact comes from Ohio, where Wilson Football just open
a fifteen million dollar factory and they have extended their
deal with the NFL to make the Duke.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
The Duke is the.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Game ball of the NFL eighty thousand square foot facility
in the great state of Ohio, and they're going to
boost the annual production every year. How many footballs? Here's
the question, This is the fun fact part of it.
How many footballs do they make at the Wilson Football
(31:39):
Factory per year. We're gonna go round the room with
a round robin. We'll see if anyone get it right, Eddie.
How many footballs per year? The does the Wilson Football
Factory in Ohio make the actual game.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Ball for the NFL?
Speaker 6 (31:54):
Two million? Football's been two million?
Speaker 2 (31:56):
All right, Lorraine, Ah, I'm going to say, five hundred
and seventy four footballs.
Speaker 8 (32:02):
Ben.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Okay, that's very amazing answer, Shaye. Would you like to
be in on this ship?
Speaker 6 (32:08):
Of course I'm gonna go one million to fifty thousand.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Okay, so thank you.
Speaker 6 (32:15):
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna win. I'm gonna finally win
one of these.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Actually, you went over Eddie, so Lorena ends up. Yes,
Lorena the show down.
Speaker 6 (32:25):
That's ridiculous. Who's made that stupid role?
Speaker 2 (32:28):
You can't go over Bob Barker. They current screw him.
Is four hundred thousand game balls a year they make.
They're going to increase that to five hundred thousand game
balls from the Wilson factory in Ohio. The goal is
to reach seven hundred thousand game balls. That's a lot
of balls, Eddie, seven hundred thousand balls.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
This incoming years, incoming years, so we have that to
look forward to.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
It is the Ben Malor Show. We're gonna have big bends.
Lame Joe, are you there, wet Man?
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Hello? Weed Man? Are you there? Wet Man? Yeah, he's
not in jail. All right, stay there, don't don't hang out.
Speaker 6 (33:10):
That's good all right.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
For the I have a big Block.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
I'm on time, Aller by the clock, four the clock,
Plausaby all about the clock.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
And we'll have big Bends, lame jokes of the week.
We'll get to that. We'll do it next.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 5 (33:29):
Step into a world of imagination. The Ben Malor Show
has no marketing budget. We need your assistance in growing
the congregation of the Mallard militia.
Speaker 9 (33:37):
How do you do it?
Speaker 5 (33:38):
Tag Malar related content on all social media networks. You
are the missing jigsaw puzzle piece to unlock the Ben
Mallor Show to new compatriots and now live on the
tirack dot com Fox Sports Radio Studios.
Speaker 6 (33:49):
It's Ben Maller.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Knock knock, Who's there? Blame week?
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Blame week who, It's Big Bends, Lame.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Joke of the week, and away we go, Big Ben's
Lane jokes a week every week at this time the
said listen submitted jokes. You can send jokes in for
a future episode of the show. Send them Caar of
Benmalershow at gmail dot com. Benmaller Show at gmail dot com.
Put jokes in the headlines and we will read.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
Your commentary on the air. If they're funny, there will
you have time to get So weed Man is my clown.
He's the court gesture are they're weed Man?
Speaker 3 (34:26):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Good job by you staying out of jail tonight, weed Man,
We're proud of you.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
All right. Why couldn't Lizzo play with dolls? Why were
they were too small for her? So she had to
use little people instead?
Speaker 9 (34:47):
No?
Speaker 2 (34:48):
No, In Austin, A lot of people don't realize that
Lizzo made her big screen movie debut last year.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Wow. Yeah, she was the star of co Cane Bear.
That was Dan in South Carolina? All right. After the
success of.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Benny Versus the Penny, apparently, I have been offered the
opportunity for a new show.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
I'll be picking games against my arch enemy Lizzo. How
about that weed Man?
Speaker 9 (35:18):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Yeah, the show is going to be called Benny Versus
the Yetti Dan from South Carolina. Have you heard how
many people start to look like their pets? A lot
of people they start turning into their pets. Yeah, Well,
it turns out Lizzo looks a lot like her husky,
(35:39):
A lot husky. That's a super Todd the comedian. What
this one's from Gordon and Tacoma. What does Lizzo watch
while eating a dessert?
Speaker 8 (35:51):
What?
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Back to back episodes of sixty Minutes, sig. Here's some
other surprising news to hear that Lizzo threw her name
into the hat to replace Tom Looney on Benny Versus
the Penny.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Yeah, she says TV makes him look much fatter and
it's embarrassing for the show. Here's here's here's a quick one.
What is Lizzo's favorite seafood?
Speaker 9 (36:22):
What?
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Jellyfish? That was some chip in Maine. It's Big Ben's
lame jokes of the week. Why is Lizzo suing Texas
Restaurants for false advertising?
Speaker 3 (36:37):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Why? Well, she thought when they advertised a Texas sized
burger she would actually.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Get a burger the.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Size of Texas. That's George of Uvaldi Texas. Did you
hear that Miss Alabama is dating?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Yeah? Yeah, she and the Alabama Elephant are really hitting
it off. They're really.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
It's Big Ben's lames jokes League. Why did weed Man
leave the beach? Why? Because he found out his new
sand dollar collection was worth less than his big coin.
Have you tried to use those sand dollars? That's some
chip in Maine. Have you tried to use those sand
dollars weed Man at the store?
Speaker 8 (37:24):
No?
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Never, Yeah, they don't really work very nice. All right,
let's see what do we have next year. What's weed
Man Hippie's favorite part of Game of Thrones? What the
High Council? You like the High Council? We've met Stan
in South Carolina? Why was weed Man arrested for trespassing?
Why don't know? You were protesting against work at the
(37:48):
employment office.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
You were protesting.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Against work at the employment office. That is Frank in Fargo.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Thank you, Frank. Did you hear that they had to
take away weed man hippies? Ebt card?
Speaker 9 (38:00):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Why?
Speaker 8 (38:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (38:02):
It kept getting sand, well, you kept getting sand in
the scanners. Weed Man we got him said.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
It's a bad job, bad job. That's Gordon in Tacoma.
Why is weed Man envious of Felexus in Buffalo? Why?
Because Felexus has more toes than weed Man has teeth.
Have you found your Have you found your teeth yet?
Speaker 6 (38:29):
Weed Man?
Speaker 9 (38:33):
All right?
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Why should weed Man? Or why should Eddie, let weed
Man stay in his yard.
Speaker 8 (38:38):
Yeah, okay, it'll.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Keep the flies away from the house. That's a Noah.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
In Austin, we actually have some surprising hockey news here.
Did you hear that weed man hippie what he had
to say about the Florida Panthers winning the Stanley Cup?
Speaker 1 (38:55):
He said, weed Man said saved me money is what
he said. That's what he said. Hill Billy Mike.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Sent that one in a very nice will move on.
What do you call a church next? What do you
call a church next to a church? What a double
cross is?
Speaker 7 (39:16):
What?
Speaker 1 (39:20):
That's from someone who's never sent a joking before. Bible
belt Billy is what he's being called. He wants to
be known as that.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
He's in Arkansas, although his email has a different name
on it. Here's another one from Bible belt Billy in Arkansas.
How did the priest get the church?
Speaker 6 (39:34):
Weed Man?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (39:36):
He used the crosswalk is what he did. The crosswalk
is what it was. That is a cornball dad joke
from Bible belt Billy. But thank you for that. How
did the Lakers persuade Lebron to re sign?
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Wow? Well, the genie buss put into the Laker bylaws
a take your son to work policy.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
That's a chip ship in Maine. Thank you for that chip.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
It's big Band's lame jokes a week. These are actual
jokes sent him by actual listeners. If Eddie Garcia and
some of his hockey teammates formed a boy band, what
would they call it?
Speaker 1 (40:17):
What in rink is what they want? That's Eke and Roseville, Minnesota.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Why doesn't Eddie Garcia like the lame jokes segment on
this show every.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Week at this time?
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Why if you watched the w n b A every
night you wouldn't have a sense of humor either.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Okay, that is from Darryl who sent that one in.
Thank you, Darryl. Very nice there. What do you call
a bird going south? No matter the season? No matter
the season, a bird going south, you call it hawk? Tua?
Is what you call it? Weed man?
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Tua?
Speaker 1 (41:01):
That's hurt from Earth? Who sent that one in?
Speaker 3 (41:05):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (41:05):
All right, we got time for a couple more. This
one is from Steve. He says, why are janitor is
not allowed to use curse words?
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Why? Because they got to keep it clean? Weed man,
they gotta keep it. That seems like a classic dad joke.
All right, here's the last one. Are you ready, weed man? Yeah,
I'm proud of you for staying out of jail. By
the way, good job by you.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Where you stand tonight, Lincoln?
Speaker 8 (41:35):
But not okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Did you hear that Blair in Maine took an extra
pair of socks to the golf course.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
No, yeah, Blair was worried he might get a hole
in one. A hole in one there is.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
That's from Billy Billy big Ben's lame jokes of the week.
Faky weed Man, stay safe out there, Stay safe in Miami.
Host
Ben Maller
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