Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's a clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
The Fifth Hour with me, Ben Maller and Danny g Radio,
who's producing this podcast on this Friday, our final podcast ever.
We will never do another podcast in February of twenty
twenty five.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
This is it.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
This is It's all over. It is all over today.
It ends right now. I know, I know. It's a
fun day today. It's a show that I always look
forward to. We do the show every single year, and
we're doing it on Friday. It's the red carpet event
for the twenty twenty five Benny Awards, the greatest night
(01:09):
in overnight sports talk radio, the night that we celebrate
the people that make the Ben Mahler Show a show.
And we'll give you all the malarads. What we expect
to happen. Well we get any surprises, I don't know.
The voting is still going on right now, and we're
excited about what's gonna happen, and we have no idea.
(01:31):
That's the magic of the Benny Awards. But as far
as today's concerned, it's the twenty eighth day of February
and it is National Chocolate sou Flay Day. So make
sure you celebrate because there's one thing we need is
an entire day dedicated to the chocolate sooo fley and
today is that day.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
It's National Pancake Day. Now. I don't know about you,
but that's a day. Now.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I don't eat breakfast food very often, but when I do,
it's normally corn beef hash and some kind of pancakes,
because I'm all about all about the pancakes, also of
course known as Johnny cakes or griddle cakes or hot cakes,
and the famous lines selling like hotcakes. But the word
(02:14):
pancake first appeared in English in the fifteenth century. There's
a little fun fact for alf the alien opiner, so
it goes all the way back to the fifteenth century.
And when you think pancakes now, the original pancake will
not call the pancake six hundred BC the first reference
(02:35):
in ancient Greece, and it came from a poet who
described warm pancakes in one of his writings. The first
breakfast was that was eleven eighty. Apparently no one ate
breakfast before then, never before nineteen thirty one, which was
like almost one hundred years ago. Biz Quick introduced the
(02:59):
Fluffy Eat pancake mix, and that was nineteen thirty one.
And so there's some random factoids about delicious, wonderful pancakes
which are relatively easy to make and depending on what
kind of topping you put on them, simply amazing. It
(03:20):
is also car Keys and Small Change Day. That's right,
car Keys a small Change Day. And let me point
out that this is something that we don't really do
much of anymore as far as the small change.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Most people just use credit cards these days and that's it.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
But this day celebrating things that are stored in your
pocket and pockets. Here's a factoid. The history of pockets
goes all the way back to thirty three hundred BC.
Gentlemen known as the iceman wore a belt with a
pouch sewn into it. The pouch is said to have
(04:01):
contained a scraper, a drill, a flint flake, some kind
of bone thing, and dried tender fungus. The word pocket
actually derives from the Old English word, which is p
o u q u e po q. I believe that
(04:21):
was during the thirteenth century. I put a question mark
out there just in case I am I am wrong.
So that is the day to day. But let's get
to the Red Carpet Show, and we're looking forward to
Sunday night into Monday morning, eleven o'clock in the west.
On Sunday night three am, actually two am rather two
am in the East. So we have a bunch of categories,
(04:44):
as you know, for the Bennies, the one that is
going on, and you got a couple of days to
vote on this, but I recommend doing it right now
because it is ridiculously close as we are doing this
in real time here early in the morning on this Friday,
after doing the overnight show last night. The final three,
the three amigos of Social Media Influencer of the Year
(05:08):
for twenty twenty five. You got a little time left,
but if you're on X the final three are Alf
the Alien, O, Piner, Fergnog, and Justin and Cincinnati. And
Justin is a legend who's won many awards on the
show over the years. It's really controversial though that he's
(05:28):
able to make it as a wild card. He did
not have a first round by, and Alf and Fergnog
were number one seeds, so as number one seeds they advanced. Now,
if you look at the opening bracket that we did
on social Media Influencer of the Year, we had four
(05:50):
number one seeds. We had Fergnog, Alf, the Alien, Ol Piner,
Super Marcus, Steve, and mister Nice Guy. They all got
first round bys, and so Justin had to play. It's
like a team on wildcard weekend getting all the way
to the super Bowl.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Now will he win?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
I don't know, but it's controversial because of this, and
I love Justin.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Justin has been a great supporter for the show.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
He had the famous incident when he was he got
a job at a morgue and he was picking up
bodies at the hospital. He lost the job because he
picked up the wrong body. I think he had told
the story of the air. He was supposed to pick
up a cadaver that was a white guy and he
ended up bringing like a black Guy or something like that.
I forget, maybe vice versa. And he lost his job
(06:33):
at least that's the story that he told. And he's
done some crazy stuff on the show, but he hadn't
been that active. At the end of twenty twenty four
he took a little hiatus, and he's so powerful. He's
like the Kawhi Leonard or Street Closed Davis Anthony Davis.
That he's continued his popularity. But then you got the Ogs, right,
you got Alfie Alien Opiner, who has been loyal no
matter where I pop up, I fill in, I do
(06:56):
these guest spots on different radio stations. I fill in
sometimes the TV show and alf is there for all
of it. And then like Alf's apprentice, Ferdnog very similar,
but a West Coast version of alf Fergie, who I
have heard rumors has been sending dms to Kooper Loop.
(07:17):
I don't know what that's all about. There's some gossip
in the station, there's some stuff going on. But those
are the final three standing. And we had some great
names that we're in this thing, Robin Vegas, Robbie the Mariner,
Fan Mall or prop Guy. You know, we mentioned Super Mario,
Steve Donkey Sausage, Manuel and Guardina late Night drug Tester.
These are some heavyweights, and if you listen to the show,
(07:39):
you know that I end up reading a lot of
the comments from feedback, real time feedback from all these
guys that are part of the problem. Ecan Roseville, Minnesota.
How many times have I said Econ Roseville, Minnesota. I mean,
I can't even count that high, because I really can't
count high at all. But congratulations everybody, It's to the
final three. We'd love for you to vote today so
you don't forget. But that category, I want to say
(08:03):
that I think Justin's a slight favorite, and I don't
know why because again, not that I don't despise Justin. Ay,
all these guys have been loyal minions and foot soldiers
for the Malad militia, but the fact that Justin was
away so much and is so popular as wild. But
it's really neck and neck as we are doing it
(08:24):
here again early in the morning on this Friday. It
is really just a couple of percentage points separating al
Fergdog and Justin and Cincinnati. Now, as for the rest
of the categories, you can vote. There is a link
on the Facebook page. There's a link also on x
(08:44):
which just be called Twitter, but it's pinned to the
top of the page. And we've already had hundreds and
hundreds of votes and there's still time to get in
the categories. For the twenty twenty five bettings, we have
Rookie Caller of the Year celebrating the new people that
started calling the show. Now they have done studies whoever
(09:05):
they are in talk radio over the years, and the
vast majority, like ninety nine point seven percent of people
that listen to the show will never ever call the show.
Either they just are working and they can't call the show,
or they just they don't like the sound of their voice,
I don't want to be part, or whatever.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
The reason they're not gonna call.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
So it's one of these weird things when we get
new people and it takes a while to kind of
let us know who you are, and you gotta it's
a lot of work. You got to stay on hold.
It's not the easiest thing in the world to break
through as a caller. And so we've had a good
group of callers that are new callers to the show,
and the nominees, as we said on the air, the
(09:51):
other day. You can vote for one of these gentlemen.
We have Daniel in Fort Wayne, Daniel the Crossing Guard,
who's got a great personality, very he very positive guy
in Fort Wayne, Indiana. The Moe Joe Risen from the
Bay Area, also very positive, happy go Lucky. Tuna in Laguna,
the Great Tuna in Laguna. You can vote for him,
(10:14):
and he's quite the character. Mike the Leprecaun who's called
on a regular basis. He normally does a dad joke.
Mike the Leprechaun. You've got Kelly in de Moines formerly
in Nashville, and she is now a couple. They're gonna
get married with Shane in the Moine. And you've got
the great Danny DeVito, my guy, Danny DeVito. How many
(10:37):
other shows have Danny DeVito as a nominee for an award?
The Ben Maller Show does. So I'm gonna say that
Kelly in the Moines based on the Mallarrods. I think
Kelly's a slight favorite, a slight favorite. And then behind Kelly,
you've got Danny DeVito. And I would even say Mike
the leperkhn because he's been very active on the show.
(10:58):
So I think they're the favorites, but there's talent all
over the place. Now we have game show Contestant of
the Year, and we played a lot of game shows.
Were the last of the Mohegans that plays these game shows.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
And I like that have fun. I figure it's overnight.
We don't have a budget.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
A lot of these radio shows pay for guests, and
there have been some other radio shows that are no
longer on at night that used to go in and
record a bunch of interviews and then play them back overnight.
So we don't do that. We just have us and
we're the show and you tune in for us. And
so game show contests in of the Year. We've got
Coach Russell from Orlando who made quite the impact Lady
(11:40):
in the Year. Coach Russell a solid game show contestant
and he's a high school football coach in the Orlando area.
Kelly in Des Moines again, Kelly formerly in Nashville.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
She's called a lot for the game shows.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Manuel and Guardina, a legend who's been with me since
I did local radio in LA back in the day.
Chris in the Commonwealth, Chris and Massachusetts, and also Chris
and Boston. So these guys both guys named Chris who
happened to be in the same area. But Chris is
out in the Commonwealth, out in the sticks. Chris is
in Boston proper, and Mitch in man Cato. So of those, Ah, boy,
(12:18):
that's tough. You got Chris and Boston, who's called for
a long time, loves the game shows. Kelly and des
Moines popular also, and then you got the og, Manuel
and Guardina, So I would say they're the favorites going
to that lame joke Contributor of the Year. We have
(12:40):
a lame joke segment. We actually did it this morning
in the third hour. And what do we have here?
We have Kurt from Earth Chip and Maine, Surfer, Todd
the comedian, Gordon Nick Tacoma, and Noah in Austin. So
those are the nominees. And of those, you've got the Og,
(13:07):
a guy that won the Benny last year. Surf for Todd,
the comedian who's quite the character. If you've met Todd,
Todd's been out to a few of our Mallord meet
and greets. Surf for Todd. He was at the one
in Vegas last year with his lovely wife Todd also
came surf for Todd to the one we did in La,
so he's he's like to me, he reminds me of
(13:27):
I've never met weed Man in person, weed Man hippie,
but he reminds me of that kind of guy. So
I have Surf for Todd has a pretty big favorite here.
But don't discount Gordon and Tacoma sneaky good joke writer.
Gordon and Tacoma really good joke. I mean, all these
guys are talented, and I feel somewhat bad because we
(13:48):
can only nominate so many people. But Georgie and Uvaldi
for example, the horse guy that calls up or he
doesn't call up, he actually sends jokes in Butter Milk
Guide that's.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Been been around lately.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
I mean, there's a lot of people to send jokes in,
and you guys have all been great, and so we
can only nominate so many people.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
But it's a it's a tough category.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Surfer Todd is a professional I say professionally he's a surfer,
but he f's around with the comedy and he's really funny.
He's a really funny man. All these all these guys
are best. Ask Ben question we do a segment every
week ask Ben and Friends, and we've got Lady Sideburns,
(14:33):
a fan favorite, Lady Sideburns, Late Night Drug Tester, and
og on the show Cowboy Killer the King Rory making
a name change to try to get more votes. I
forty Ian gets a lot of play fer Dog and
Alf the Alien Old Piner. So considering these guys, we're
(14:57):
both number one seeds overall and social media influence year.
I say that Alf and fer Dog are the favorites.
I would not discount Late Night Drug Tester. I think
if anyone other than those three wins, that would be
a huge upset. That would be a massive upset for sure.
So we also have best crew fill in and in
(15:21):
this category you've got our friend Bree always Positive. I
love Bree. Breeze great. She's wonderful, very positive young lady,
and she's been with the company since she was an
intern lover. She's great. She fills in for Coop sometimes
she's on there. The Great Mark Mark Ramsey, He's from Chicago.
He sits in for Loraina quite a bit. He's the
(15:41):
White Sox fan. The Great Bernie Frato, my man Bernie
from Vegas. Brian know who fills in for me more
than anybody when I'm away. Lee to Lap who has
stepped in for Coop many times. Lee's the morning Show
producer and Milkman Mike as fake Weedman. Weed Man had
(16:02):
spent a good chunk of twenty twenty four in jail.
He kept getting arrested in Miami for just being homeless,
and he didn't have a place to sleep. He can't
sleep outside, so he kept getting arrested, and Milkman Mike
stepped in and is the man of a thousand voices.
He did the Leslie and Jack the Judge impersonation the
(16:23):
weed Man. We used him for quite a bit and
so his first time ever a non employee has been
nominated for Best Crew Filling.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
So based on name.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Value, I think that Milkman Mike because it's so unique.
I think he's a slight favorite. But Brian No filled
in a ton Bernie and people love Bree, so I
would not be shocked which way.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
That goes at all now drop of the year.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
This is this is where I say get taken out
of context and repackaged and other people We've got me
saying give me a little taste of that, and then
I mentioned a caller from Dayton. You can vote for that.
I have a pickle in my box right now. That
was a Lorena Lorena one we also have because I
(17:23):
had to chew the and then some kind of I
forget what else for me? And you also have hollering James,
who snored and farted at the same time. So to me,
hollering James is the favorite here. That is an unbelievable
talent that I didn't know is possible for the human
(17:45):
body to snore and fart at the same time. OMG,
So that's my guy hollering. Just my vote goes to James.
I have him as the favorite. I'd also put Loraina
in there. I think Loraina because people love Lorrain. I mean,
you dudes, you know who you are, some of your dudes.
I mean, she's getting stuff in the mail all the time.
(18:07):
You've showed her a lot of love the Mallard militia,
and that's great and I'm happy for her, and you
guys love her and that's wonderful. But I think because
of her popularity, I would put her as the favorite,
and then nobody I'd say stupid things all the time.
Nobody wants to hear me winning a Benny Award. That's silly.
(18:31):
So that's the drop of their Blind Caller of the Year.
We have more blind callers than any other radio show,
any of them. So the nominees for Blind Caller of
the Year. As we prepare for the Bennies on Sunday,
this is our Benny Red Carpet Show.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
You've got the great Stevie Meatballs. Quite a character.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Stevie Meatballs lives in Florida, and he's very angry a
lot of the time. He says a lot of stuff
that can't be read on the air. But enjoy his work.
The Blind Seahawk fan love Emmett Young dude loves the show.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
We love him.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
He's got his own podcast. He's hustling. I love guys
that are putting the work in there. Legally blind Christopher
from the Carolinas, but as hard as from Michigan. You've
got the legend Inca Terror and Blind Scott, the og
of blind callers, And on this one, I'm gonna set
(19:26):
the odds. To my knowledge, it's got to be somebody
with name value. These all these guys are known in
the blind community. They're stars in the blind community. They're
famous people because we know who they are, that we
know their history. I will say that Inca Terror based
on the mallarodds inco Terror and Blind Scott name value.
(19:46):
They've been with the show a little bit longer than
the other guys.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
So I have.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Blind Scott and InKo Terror as the favorites now International
Caller of the Year.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Very competitive category. I was told by.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
One of the people that have seen the numbers, the
early numbers on the voting, this is the most competitive category.
I don't know if that's true or not. The nominees.
One of these people will be winning the Benny. We
have Otto bon Butch who called us many times from Germany.
He's actually just moved back to the States he was
living abroad.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Hank in Tokyo who's a great character on the.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Show, Ozzie Wiz Ozzi Momentum, Terry in England, and mister
Hurt from Montreal, who's a kind of a newer caller,
certainly as a newer caller compared to some of those
other guys. So I'm gonna basically odds again on name
value on the show. Who's been with the show, who's
(20:49):
made the biggest impact So of these international callers, I've
got Terry in England is the favorite. Terry is He's
a spicy dude and he likes to throw down, likes
to get my face and challenge me, which I appreciate.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
A lot of you guys are boot lickers. Terry's not
a boot licker.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
So Terry in England, I'd say, Ozzie Waz and Ozzie
Momentum are the favorites. Well, let's not discount Autobon Butch.
But of that again, you know you only pick two.
Is the co favorites I would go, I guess Ozzie
was was very active.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
And Terry in England. So there you go.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Intoxicated call the Year the Benny's Red Carpet Show. You're
on the fifth hour Intoxicated Caller of the Year. Very
competitive category. You've got Keg drinking, Steve the over the
Top Chiefs fan, j Dot in Utah.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Mouthwash Mike in Vegas. What a character.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
Mouthwash Mike is the black irishman who called the Overnight
Show last night and said he doesn't understand why people
bet on games before they're played. His idea is we
should bet on after they're played. What a wonderful idea.
I'd win so much money. I have the greatest TV
show in the world picking games, if only I could
just pick them after the games are done. Nobody else
(22:10):
has that take by way, only the black Irishman of
this category and talks to kid and Call of the Year.
I'm gonna give Jed who fled and keg drinking Steve
and advantage my vote. I'm not eligible to vote, but
my vote goes to Mouthwash. Mike, what a character. Tammy
and Vegas and some of your other cats who were
(22:32):
into Vegas meet and greet this guy.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Okay, he's drinking mouthwashed. I feel bad for the guy.
We tried to help him, but he's got issues. And
some people just got to live their best life or
their worst life, and that's that. And he's quite the character,
and surprisingly living on the streets of Vegas, he's actually
in decent condition considering how hot and cold it gets
(22:58):
in Las Vegas. Female Caller of the Year the Ladies.
It's Ladies' night. You've got Tammy in Montana and Tammy's
the og. She's been with the show a long time.
We love Tammy. She's like the mother Teresa the show.
She looks after some of the wackadoodles that are part
(23:19):
of the Malard Militia, and she hasn't called as much,
but she's got lifetime status in the Malard Militia. Andrea
the Astrology Lady from Berkeley, Kelly in des Moines, and
Leslie in Bradenton, Florida. I've got Andrea as the favorite.
She is the most active caller of these ladies. Leslie
(23:42):
and Bradenton calls up one day a week and so
if you don't listen that day, you don't know who
she is. And Leslie and Jack the Judge, Kelly and
des Moinese also very active. So it's neck and neck
between Andrea and I'll have her as the favorite. The
Malarads and then Kelly in des Moines formerly in Nashville.
(24:05):
The twenty twenty five Beer Drinking Brian Worst Call of
the Year. The most competitive category by next to international
caller is this one. So we have the nominees. You
can vote for this all these awards you can vote for.
The votings open until Sunday night. Gunner in Minnesota. Gunner
(24:27):
is a young guy works at a Walmart in northern Minnesota.
Way past to Luth and I thought the Luth was
like the end of Minnesota. But there's a whole other
world I didn't visit when I was in Minnesota. Anyway,
Gunner in Minnesota, he is.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
He's terrible.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Hollering James, who has won this award in the past,
quite the character hollering James. The problem with him winning
is we have to give him golden tickets. Nobody wants
us to give James golden tickets. Mike d Leprechaun from Boston,
Poppy in San Diego, and Jerome and Charleston bringing home
(25:03):
Jerome in Charleston. Malarads, Man, this is tough Gunner. Early on,
I thought Gunner was gonna win it. But he doesn't
call as often. And I'm basing the malarads on how
often you call, so based on the odds, how often
you call. I have Poppy in San Diego as the
(25:29):
favorite to go back to back and Belly to Belly
as the beer drinking Brian worst call of the year
back to back? Do we have to call him a
dynasty of suck? If he wins now, he might not
win because you look around and hollering James. There's a
Love Hate Relationship. I was told by several of you
(25:51):
that Marcel and Brooklyn should have been nominated for this category.
You really despise Marcel in Brooklyn. He was not not
dominated for this award this year. So congratulations to all
of the callers that are absolutely terrible and continue to
call the show.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
We do appreciate it. And now we have reached the crescendo.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
The highest honor for the twenty twenty five Bennies and
another very competitive category, very very competitive, the highest honor
in overnight talk radio, the twenty twenty five Genie and
(26:34):
Medford Caller of the Year. Yes, this is the prize
of prizes, This is the masterpiece. It is an absolute
neck and neck battle here down the stretch in this
category as well. And the nominees are Andre from the Commonwealth,
(26:58):
a regular in our one, Marcel in Brooklyn, who's very
polarizing because some of you dope so like he's the
worst caller.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Other people think he's good.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Whoopee Pie Blair from Maine. Blair is on TikTok Now
he doesn't call the show that much anymore. He checks
in every once.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
In a while. Jed, who Fled, is a fan favorite.
I'm actually on the live air helmet Man.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
I'm a big helmet man guy. I love helmet Man.
I rotate nuts. He loves to talk about being from Baltimore.
He hasn't been to Baltimore since the early eighties. Weed
Man Hippie is also a previous winner of the Caller
of the Year, Manuel in Gardena. We love Manuel, Yes,
(27:49):
had a tough run here of late, but we love
the contribution Manuel and Guardina makes the show. And one
of my favorites is Tony in the Bay Area. I
might be the only one. I laugh every time Tony calls.
I love his delivery, sense of humor, the whole thing.
(28:09):
He's just a very funny man toning the Bay Area
and I enjoy his work. Now is that enough to
win the highest honor on the Ben Malor Show, the
highest honor in overnight sports talk radio.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Probably not? Probably not, But listen, this is too close
to call.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
I'm told also, and based on the information I have
in front of me here, this is actually now the
closest category, not International Caller of the Year. It is
the Genian Medford Caller of the Year, not the International caller.
So congratulations to everybody the favorite based on name value.
You got to put weed Man, Hippie, Marcel helmet Man,
(28:51):
Jed hu Fled. I mean, all these guys call a lot,
so good luck to all of them. And I'm told
that this is separated by less than one percent first
to second place and first to third place is separated by.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Three point four percentage points. That's how close.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
This is the highest honor and overnight Sports Talk Radio
the Genie had meant for Caller of the Year award.
All right, we'll get out on that. Have a wonderful Friday.
We thank you for supporting the show and being loyal,
and we're let this kind of breathe all weekend long
here and then make sure to vote. If you want
(29:33):
to have other people vote, let them know, send them
a link. It's on my x page at the very top.
It's also on the Facebook page on the Ben Malor
Show Facebook page.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
And good luck to everybody.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
We hope you guys enjoy the Bennys and we'll have
a new show. Hopefully Dany'll be with me, I don't
know his schedule on Saturday, and then we'll have the
mail bag on Sunday.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
And I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go sleep is what
I'm gonna do.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Anyway, I have a wonderful, wonderful day later, skater who
that's how you do it right, Danny wrong, Asta pasta,
got a murder.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
I gotta go.