July 11, 2025 • 37 mins
Ben Maller (produced by Danny G.) has an amazing Friday for you! They have a special all-time sports rants BIG BOARD, sparked by the passing of the legend, Lee Elia!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard starts right now in.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
The air everywhere.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mallor and Danny g
Radio A Happy Friday to you.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Although you can listen to this oneever.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
This is more of an evergreen pod than what we
normally do on the Fifth Hour. But it is the
summer of twenty twenty five. We're in July, and come one,
come all, gather around the magic pod box. You won't
believe your ears. Be ready to smile. I'm talking cheshire
(01:02):
Cat smile from ear to ear. It is time to
pour one out for our homie. A Bonus Malard monologue
in honor of the late great former Cub manager Lee
Ilia and Phillies manager who left this mortal coil. And
he left this world with a legendary microphone meltdown for
(01:25):
the ages, the Michael Angelo of the coaching Rant. People
talk about the greatest of all time. They did a
rant on my overnight show last night. You might have
heard it on the Ben Maler Show, and I mentioned
that people talk about who's the greatest quarterback in the NFL,
and some people will say Back in the day, they'd
say Joe Montana. Now everyone says, well, it's Tom Brady.
Tom Brady's the greatest of all time. They say who's
(01:47):
the greatest baseball player? Most people say, Babe Ruth is
the greatest baseball player. Oh, there's a name Willie Mays
or someone like that, but most people say Babe Ruth.
They say, who's the greatest basketball player of all time?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
The real ones know it's Michael Jordan. The real ones
know it's Michael Jordan.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
You say, who's the person that gave us the greatest
rant of all time into a news conference?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
And that's Lee Ilia.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
So that is the one that stands out, the Michelangelo
of the coaching Rant. So in his memory, in his honor,
we are cracking open the vault on the Fifth Hour podcast.
Here it's Benny's big board, not a list, not a
list to Terry in England. Now I was thinking of
(02:31):
doing this anyway, and then my senior advisor, a platinum
artist who is back in the mallor Palooza this year,
our friend Jayscoop, and he had messaged me. He works
in collaboration with just Josh, and he's like, this would
be a great idea. So the again, not a list.
I want to make sure that's on the record.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Not a list.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
But this is Benny's big board, the five greatest microphone
meltdowns in US sports history. Now this is the coaching,
and I left a lot of the basketball. In fact,
there's no basketball in this. I can do a separate
subcategory in basketball. Lee Ilia was a baseball manager, of course,
and so this is almost all baseball and mostly football.
(03:16):
Because it's not an ordinary big board, it's a full on,
off the cuff, top of my dome compilation. These are
the most epic, unhinged rants to ever grace a presser,
at least that I remember today that I cobbled this together.
So if we missed any of your favorites, and we did,
(03:39):
you know we only have limited time here.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Hit us up. Let us know.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
You can email me real fifth hour at gmail dot com,
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
We'll try to accommodate you.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Now, before we get to the five at the very
top of Big Ben's Big board, we have the honorable
mention category because we got to give props before we
get to the big dogs, the big dogs. We're going
to start out in Cincinnati, home of legendary show contributors
(04:11):
like just Josh, who we already mentioned, and Justin and Cincinnati.
So the Reds have been a glorified dumpster fire for years,
but one of the great rants, and it reached honorable
mentioned status, was a number of years back the Red
set of manager named Brian Price. Let's just say the
price was not right. As Price was upset, the Reds
(04:35):
beat writers had led out a secret about a roster
move the Reds were going to make before the team
announced it, and that led to a record setting seventy
seven f bombs in a tirade that while it didn't
make the top five, it did make honorable mention. Let's
(04:56):
give you a little taste of this. This is Brian
Price years ago the res and you're probably about ten
years ago or so. Listen to him, and he starts
out rather come and next thing you know, it's F this,
F that, F you blah blah blah.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Take a listen.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
You know, look, I don't need you guys to be
fans of the Reds.
Speaker 6 (05:14):
I just need to know that if there's something that
we want to keep here, that it stays here. We
don't need to know that Tucker Barnhart's in the airport
when we haven't spoken to Kyle Skipworth. I think we
owe them and that kid the right to be called
and told that he's going to be sent down, as
opposed to reading that Tucker Barnhart's on his way and
from Louisville. I just I don't get it. I don't
(05:37):
get why it's got to be this way. Has it
always been this way? Where we just tell everybody everything?
So every opponent that we have has to know exactly
what we have, relievers are available, which guys are here,
and which guys aren't here when they can play what
they can do. It's nobody's in business. It's certainly not
the opponent's business. We've got to deal with this. I
(06:00):
like to talk, and I have spoken as candidly as
I can with you people. If if that's not good enough.
I won't say a thing. I'll go yes, sir, no certain,
and I can do that. But I've been as candid
as I can be about this team and our players,
and we got to deal with this. Every team that
we play has to know everything guy that's here and
(06:21):
what they can and can do.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
Me so in disgrace and sick of it.
Speaker 6 (06:28):
It's hard enough to win here to have every opponent
know exactly what we bring to the table every day.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
I don't like it.
Speaker 6 (06:39):
That's what I'm saying, to make it very clear. I
don't like the way that this is going at all.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
I don't like it.
Speaker 6 (06:46):
I don't think you guys need to know everything, and
I certainly don't think that you need to see something
and tweet it out there and make it in world event.
How do we benefit from them knowing that we don't
have Devin Mesarako?
Speaker 5 (07:00):
How do we benefit from that they benefit from it?
Speaker 6 (07:03):
I just want to know how we benefit from these
people knowing that we don't have a player here. Can
you answer that? How is that good for the Reds to? Yeah, well,
it's making my job harder, Sure it is, well, thank you.
I don't just don't know if that's what we're supposed
to do, or we supposed to open up everything here
(07:24):
for everybody to know all the time. So it's all
I want to know what your expectations are, because me,
if I got to tell these guys we got to
go out there and they know we don't have Devin Mesuraka,
what benefit is that to me as a manager and our.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Team to win a game?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
All right?
Speaker 4 (07:40):
So that Devin Mesurako or whatever the guy's name was,
and that was Brian pie seventy seven f bomps. That's
just a little taste of it.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Got kind of boring. He kept saying the F word,
but it got kind of boring. That was the meaty
part of it.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
And this is the honorable mention on Big Ben's big board.
These are some of the great tie raids in honor
of Lee Ilia. Now he tried to find the top
audio on John McKay.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
This is way back.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
We're going back to the nineteen seventies, so this is
way over fifty years ago. John McKay was one of
the great college football coaches of all time. At the
University of Southern California. He wasn't getting paid a lot
of money. They didn't pay a lot of money back
in those days. He was getting low balled and near
the end of his career he's like, gos, screw it.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were an expansion team and this
(08:29):
renegade owner, Hugh Culverhouse, who was despised, he actually was
like the godfather of the La Rams.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
That's a whole different story.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Yeah, the guy that owned the Bucks offered John McKay
to more than double his salary. They made him like
the highest paid coach in football at the time. So
John McKay left the University of Southern California and he
went all the way to Tampa to coach the Buccaneers.
And they were an expansion team. They were terrible, and
John McKay was a quote machine. Now one of the
(09:00):
great quotes of all time. I tried to find the auto,
I couldn't find it. It was when he was asked
about his team's execution and he famously said, I'm in
favor of it. Now, they give you an idea how
crazy times have changed. A few years back. I forget
who the coach was, but a coach used that line
like I think it was an NFL coach used that
line might have been a college coach, but they just
(09:23):
repeated it and the wokesters on social media.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I can't believe the coach said that.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
So I didn't find that sound bite, but I did
go to the archive from This is a clip, old clip.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
From NFL films. I think this came from.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
This is some of the highlights of John McKay. He
was coaching the Buccaneers. He's on the sidelines and listen,
I'll give you a little taste of this. It's honorable
mention John McKay. We're going back over fifty years and
here's John McKay on the sidelines, miked up for NFL films,
and listen to him critique his Tampa Bay Buccaneers in
(10:00):
real time.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Take a listen, don't hit him, don't hit him.
Speaker 7 (10:05):
Well, let's say, oh, jeezus, gentlemen, who can't stop a
pass or a run.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
We're in great shape.
Speaker 7 (10:13):
I have a lot of careers going in Monday.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Yeah, let's play everybody. We're just hard.
Speaker 8 (10:17):
We're not proving one thing here.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
We we prove we can't play.
Speaker 7 (10:19):
That's not it's just he was a football Another damn chicken.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
We got out here.
Speaker 7 (10:25):
That's what I say, we got some many fucks and
no sour. Yeah, yeah, I would figure that you would
stagger around. What's wrong with playing mont in the game?
He tackles, He's only got one chass Megas football team.
He asks like he's got it made. He ain't got
nothing made.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
All right?
Speaker 4 (10:39):
So that was that was John McKay, Uh chicken.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
That was pretty good. I like that.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
So that's that's back in the nineteen seventies. Another honorable mention, Uh,
the greatest of all time Bobby Knight college basketball. So
I said there were no coaches from basketball liede bad
job by me.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
There's no NBA coaches. But this is Bobby Knight.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
And going back many years, he was still at Indiana
Legendary Indiana Who's yours college basketball coach? Also coached at
Texas Tech. And here is Bobby Knight giving out advice
on what he wanted to happen when he finally died.
Now Bobby's dead, but listen to this wisdom from the
late great Bobby Knight.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
When my time.
Speaker 9 (11:25):
On Earth is gone and my activities here are past,
I want they bury me upside down and my critics
can kiss my and.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
The crowd goes wild.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
The crowd goes wild as Bobby Knight walks away. All right,
Another honorable mention on this fifth hour honoring Lee Ilia.
We go to New Jersey and a man who got
a television career because of a roughly thirty second rant
to the media. We are talking going back twenty five years.
(12:00):
I believe this soundbite's from This is HERM Edwards and
it is an infamous SoundBite. Did not make the top
five on Big Ben's Big Board. But here's HERM Edwards
coaching the Jets. Things were not going well, because things
never go well when you're coaching the Jets. But here's
HERM Edwards on what it is all about.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Take a listen.
Speaker 10 (12:21):
This was great about sports. This is what the greatest
thing about sports is. You play to win the game. Hello,
You play to win the game. You don't play to
just play it. That's a great thing about sports. You
play to win, and I don't care if you don't
have any wins. You go play to win. When you start.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
Telling me it doesn't matter to retire.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Get out, get out.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
That was HERM Edwards giving a sermon that is still
gospel to this day. People that are young that never
even knew who horm Edwards were or was.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Rather like, oh herm Edwards.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
The last honorable mention before we get in to the
top five on Big Ben's Big Board. This is not
on the top five. It is my personal favorite and
I love this. Back when we used to have sound
on the show and drops on the show, and back
in the old days, we played a lot of drops
from this particular guy. It's a college football coach at
(13:28):
Coastal Carolina. The Shanta Clears, I believe, is what their
mascot is. Here is David Bennett, the only college coach
to sneak into Big Ben's Big Board in terms of
honorable mention. He was at Coastal Carolina and for some
reason he started talking about well, he started talking about
(13:51):
cats and dogs and it well, just listen.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Trying to get our two boys ready to gear him
a goff ternment foot prints right, twelve cats live across
the road.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
Our door's open.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Screens broke. We need to get a new screen door.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
But the screens broke, so you can come in through
the screen, but you can't get back out of I
turned to look, there's a little kitty cat in our kitchen,
so I.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Said, what are you doing in here? A little kitty cat.
By that time, the cat turns, tries to get back out,
that scream won't go that way.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Cat starts going all crazy, and I told our players
we need more dogs. Bows barging in the back after
go shut bow up, mels like, what's going on? It
says the cat and house cat in the house. I said,
it is a cat in the house. So I told
our players, I try to let it out the front door.
The cat's still going crazy in there, and I told
our players.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
You needy bit more like a dog. We don't need
a bunch of cats in here. Looking in the mirror,
I look good.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
I got my extra bands on, I got my other shoes.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Be a dog.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
We don't need no mowns. We don't need no cats.
We need more dogs.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
We all need more dogs. We all need more dogs.
That was great, David Bennett. I don't know what happened
to him. I looked it up a couple of years back.
I don't know what he's doing. He's probably retired at
this point. That was a years ago rant from the
coach at Coastal Carolina. And as you may remember, my
father in law my in laws have a house in
(15:16):
North Carolina, and I was down there a couple years
back with the wife. We went to visit him, and
we drove by Coastal Carolina. And when we were driving
by Coastal Carolina, I was like, this is a big deal.
In fact, they had an ad up in the airport
we flew into. I think it was in Myrtle Beach,
(15:37):
I believe any I don't remember where. It's been a
little while, but.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
They had a sign up for the school. I was like,
that's the school.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
The Cats and Dogs guy went to. That's the guy
right there. That was huge, huge, all right, Now turning
the page, Let's go to the main event. Now, Benny's
big board. Not a list, not a list. Five microphone
meltdowns in US sports history, the Coaching edition, And we
(16:07):
go to number five.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Numbber five, Numbber five, an underrated rant old school.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
We go now to Minnesota. He was the head coach
of the Old Minnesota Vikings. Jerry Burns. Jerry Burns, and
he came out swinging, defending his offensive coordinator with a
profanity laced outburst that was equal parts loyalty in lunacy
as Jerry Burns worked himself up burnsy into an absolute tizzy,
(16:43):
spitting fire at the football media who was questioning the
Minnesota Vikings play calling. And he was a poet, a
poet of rage. Let's go in the hot tub time
machine back. I think this is in the late eighties,
early nineth these. Here is Jerry Burns, the Minnesota Vikings
(17:03):
head coach, passionately, passionately defending his offensive coordinator. And listen
to Jerry Burns. Let's go to the audio tape.
Speaker 11 (17:16):
Let me say something. As long as I'm in his
fucking job, Schnelker will be the offensive coach.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
I mean, no, no question fucking about that.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
Fucking question about that.
Speaker 11 (17:26):
We I don't like the name names after a fucking
after a fucking game, but we we can't. We can't
be responsible for the block, and we can't be responsible
for the guys jumping off side. We can't be responsible
for the fun we get down there and and uh
and it was a dumb play by by Anderson.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
I love I love Anderson, but it was a numb
fucking play.
Speaker 11 (17:45):
When he had with his foot was shoe was coming
off up the line, screat we were hard to take
time out we had a fucking trap play called and
and his fucking shoe comes off.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
That ain't that ain't bought Schneker's fall.
Speaker 11 (17:58):
We have another fucking trap play and then he picks
up his fucking feet, he walks in.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
We got the fucking the pass.
Speaker 11 (18:04):
Who ac out there in the flat is the boss
throwing in low?
Speaker 1 (18:10):
That is a Sneker's fault.
Speaker 11 (18:13):
We got right down there, we got we got the
second down and then what the hell two years ago
out of what fifteen forty, whatever the hell it was,
and Irwin, she jumps off side. These are things that
have been hurting us all along, the little things. We're
working at him to stop them. We goog the ball
good today. We went down there and we didn't get
(18:33):
the bone hands on him.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
He wouldn't stin.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
I think we did.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
So that was Jerry Burns after a win, ranting and
defending somebody named Bob Snelker, who was the offensive coordinator
of the Vikings back in I think this was nineteen
eighty nine, So that was number five on Big Ben's
big board.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Jerry Burns defending Bob Schnelker.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Now the number four, number four a oldie, but a
goodie an NFL coach undressing one of his players. Mike
Singletary was the baddest man on the planet when he
played linebacker for Mike Ditka, and Dicka almost made this list.
We were trying to find there were a couple of
(19:17):
Mike Dicka rants we didn't. We weren't able to find
the audio. So we're going with Mike Singletary here at
number four. He was very briefly the forty nine ers
head coach, and they had a first round pick who
was a athletic gift from the gods. Fact, we had
this guy on this podcast a while back, Vernon Davis,
and things were not going well early in Vernon Davis's
(19:39):
career built like a Donnas. He wasn't playing up to
Mike Singletary's standard as the forty nine er coach, and
so Mike Singletary, in front of the media on national
television in a postgame news conference, pantched Vernon Davis. In fact,
it got to the point where Mike Singletary on Mike,
(20:00):
you'll hear it here. Mike Singletary not just called out
Vernon Davis, it was a public execution where he essentially
said they would be better off playing a man short.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Let's go to the audio tape.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Here is Mike Singletary whose number four.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Take a listen, Vernon, Vernon.
Speaker 12 (20:22):
Just was something that I told everybody at the very
beginning of the week. I will not tolerate players that
think it's about them when it's about the team and
we cannot make we cannot make decisions that costs the
team and then come off the sideline and it's nonchalant, No,
(20:46):
you know what. This is how I believe. Okay, I'm
from the old school.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
I believe this. I would rather play with ten people.
Speaker 12 (20:55):
And just get penalized all the way until we got
to do something else, rather than play with eleven when
I know that right now that person has not sold
out to be a part of this team. It is
more about them than it is about the team. Cannot
play with him, cannot win with him, cannot coach with him,
can't do it.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
So good, so good. I was really pulling for Mike Singletary.
I remember being on the air at Fox Sports Radio.
It was like, I want this. I need Mike Singletary
to be a good head coach, just because of stuff
like that. Unfortunately, he sucked as a head coach. It
didn't work out, but we will always have that, and
that is Mike Singletary, number four, number four on the
(21:41):
big Board.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Not a list.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Cannot play with him, cannot win with him, cannot coach
with him, can't do it, can't do it. And I
realize we're on an audio only thing here on the podcast.
But Mike Singletary's eyes, it's like he's a superpower. He
can literally burn you up with his eyes and just
apps great. Not at number three, number three on Big
(22:04):
Ben's Big Board.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
These are the greatest rants in honor of the late
greatly Aelia who left us.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
This week we pour out this big board in honor
of Lee Ilia. So now we get to the Fox
Sports Radio Alumni edition and someone that we had on
this podcast as well. I got to do some radio
shows with him. Very exciting for me. I was a
fan of him. I knew who he was. I'd watched
him when I was younger. I got to do some
(22:31):
shows with him at Fox Sports Radio. The great Jim Mora.
Now for many people Playoffs is the greatest rant of
all time, but not for us, Not for us, and
not my big board.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
It's not your big board, it's my big board.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
So for me, we're going to go back to Jim Mora,
who was coaching the Saints nineteen ninety six.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
This comes from it was.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
Week eight, all right, this is the eighth game of
the nineteen ninety six season. And the Saints came out
and they were terrible, and Jim Mora calmly walked out
wearing his Saints gear, his coaching gear. After the Saints
had lost the game, he got to kind of a
makeshift podium and he unleashed an absolute masterpiece.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
This is masterpiece theater.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
Frustrated, and he gave us one of the all time
great phrases in this exasperated meltdown.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Take a listen to.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Jim Mora as he gave his state of the New
Orleans Saints address, as only coach Mora could do.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Take a listen.
Speaker 13 (23:41):
Well, what happened was that second game we got our
ass kicked, or the second half we just got our
ass totally kicked. We couldn't do Diddley Pooh offensively. We
couldn't make a first down. We couldn't run the ball.
We didn't try to run the ball. We couldn't complete
a pass, We sucked the second half. We sucked. We
couldn't stop the run. Every time they got the ball
(24:02):
and went down and got points. We got our ass
totally kicked in the second half. That's what it boiled
down to. It was a horse performance in the second half.
Speaker 14 (24:09):
Four.
Speaker 13 (24:10):
I'm totally embarrassed and totally ashamed coaching art were our
coaching did a horrible job. The players did a horrible job.
We got our ass kick in that second half. It sucked,
it stuck.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
How do you really feel, coach more, how do you
really feel? All that was so good, so great, loved, loved.
Jim Mora one of the greatest people.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
Know.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
There's a lot of athletes and coaches or whatever that
have passed through the building in Sherman Oaks over the years,
but Jim Mora just great, just absolutely wonderful. The stories
he told some that we can't repeat, wonderful. But that
line we couldn't do Diddley Pooh offensively. That is the
line that made this number three on Big Ben's Big
(24:54):
Board on this special edition of the Fifth Hour Podcast.
Now we move up to Bert Dude, number two and
number two, another member of the Fox Sports Radio alumni Association.
I I got a couple of stories about this guy.
But let's get right into it. We're going way back.
The Arizona Cardinals.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Yeah, I had to go there, right.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
The Arizona Cardinals had just lost a game against the
Chicago Bears. I believe this game was on a Monday night,
and Dennis Green got up to the dais. The Bears
had come back in the game against the Cardinals. The
Arizona thought they were going to win the game, and
Dennis Green eyes wide voice cracking, he had a nuclear
(25:39):
meltdown at the podium and take a listen to the
great late Dennis Green.
Speaker 15 (25:46):
Wait, the Bears are what we thought they were. What
we thought they were. We played them in preseason. Who
the hell takes a third game in a preseason like
a s boop? We played them the third game, everybody
played three quarters or who we thought they were.
Speaker 16 (26:02):
Now, that's why we took the damn field. Now, if
you want to crown him, they crown their ass. But
they are who we thought they were. And we got
about the hook all.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Right, Thank you? Kay was so good.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
So when I was doing college radio at Saddleback College,
it was a it was a DJ at the college
radio station was a jazz format, and the program director,
who was my professor, not really a program director, he's like, hey,
there's this guy.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
He knew I liked sports.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
He said, this guy that's a coach in the NFL
and he's a jazz musician and he wants to come
by and promote his music and we want you to
talk to him.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Because I was like the only DJ that liked sports.
So I was like, sure, I'd love to do it.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
And he said, he's the guy that coaches the Minnesota Vikings.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
I said really.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
I was like, oh, I think I know he used
to coach at Stanford, and yeah, yeah, that's the guy.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
And so it was.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
It was Dennis Green, and we had him in and
we played his music and we talked to him and
he was great and wonderful. He was so kind to me.
He handed me his business card. He said, listen, Ben,
anytime that we are in As you know, the Vikings
were in southern California at that time, The Raiders and
(27:18):
the Rams were in LA. The Chargers were in San Diego,
and Saddleback is in Orange County, but south Orange County,
so it's kind of in between LA and San Diego
and Coach Green was like, hey, listen, anytime the Vikings
are in the area and you want tickets, here's my
personal card. He gave me the card. He gave the
(27:39):
extension to his secretary. He says, you call her up
and this is the card. I'll get you tickets. No,
I never did it, but it was just really cool.
It was like the coolest thing at Dennis Green. Like, I'm,
you know, fresh out of high school. I'm barely in
college and Dennis Green is NFL head coach, the coach
of the Minnesota Vikings is like, hey, now we'll hook
(28:01):
you up. And then I got to work. Very briefly,
I say I got to work with him. I don't
know if that's the right way to say it, but
Dennis Green was hired at Fox Sports Radio after he
left the Cardinals.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Very briefly, I say, very briefly.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
I'm trying to do this off memory as I remember it.
Dennis Green worked at Fox Sports Radio for approximately two weeks.
His agent got him the job at FSR, so he's
working at Fox Sports Radio.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Fine. Well.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
After taking the job, ESPN, which pays a little bit
more money than Fox Sports Radio offered Dennis Green a
TV job, so he was there about two weeks.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
It might have been a little longer than that, but
it wasn't much longer than that. And Dennis Green.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
Left and skidaddled off to television, and that was the
last we saw of the late great Dennis Green. Now
do number one on Big Ben's Big Board. And here
we are the very top of the mountain, the peak
of the Mountain, paying tribute to the King of all meltdowns.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Lee Elia.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Yeah, the man, the myth, the microphone murderer set this up.
We played it on the Overnight Show. But I'm gonna
play the extended dance remix. And I don't think this
is edited as far as like the bad words, you'll
hear all the bad words.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
So it's the early nineteen eighties.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
It's April twenty ninth of nineteen eighty three. I am
a child. I didn't know about this at the time,
but it happened on my birthday. So the Cubs had
just gotten their ass kicked by the Dodgers, and the
Cub fans were booing it Wrigley. The players in those
(29:52):
days had to go out to the outfield. The clubhouse
was in center field, so they had to go out
to the outfield. The Chicago Cup fans were throwing all
over the players, and lee Ilia found out about this,
and he did not appreciate it. It is the gold standard.
There are some lines in here that can never be matched.
(30:14):
They're the all time greatest. He went on and on
and on. It was drill sergeant like, So let's go
back in the hot, tough time machine the week that
we lost Lee Ilia.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
He passed away a couple of days ago.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Here is Lee Elia, then, the Chicago Cup manager, nineteen
eighty three, with the single greatest rant of all time.
This is why Lee Ilia is the goat of the
media meltdown.
Speaker 8 (30:42):
I'll tell you one fucking thing. I hope we get
fucking hotter and shit, just to stuff it up them
three thousand fucking people that show up every fucking day,
because if they're the real Chicago fucking fans, they can
kiss my fucking ass right downtown and try it. They're
really really behind you around here, my fucking head, What
(31:07):
am I supposed to do? Go out there and let
my fucking players get destroyed every day and be quiet
about it. For the fucking nickel dyin people to show up.
The motherfuckers don't even work. That's why they're out at
the fucking game. They only go out and get a
fucking job and find out what it's like to go
out there and are fucking living. Eighty five percent of
the fucking world work it. The other fifteen come out
(31:28):
here the fucking playground for the cocksuckers. Motherfuckers, cocksuckers like
the fucking players. God guys bussing their fucking hands, and
these fucking people do. And that's the come my fucking ad.
They talk about the great fucking support that the players
(31:50):
get around here. I haven't seen it this fucking hair.
The name of the game is hit the ball, catch
the ball, and get the fucking job done. Right now, Well,
we have more laws than we have wins. The fucking
changes that have happened in the Cup organization are multipoles,
all right. They don't show because we're five and fourteen,
(32:12):
And unfortunately that's the criteria of them. Some fifteen motherfucking
percent that come out to day baseball. The other eighty
five percent are earning a living. It'll take more than
a five and thirteen or five and fourteen to destroy
the makeup of this club. I guarantee you that there's
some fucking pros out there that want to fucking play
(32:34):
this game, but you're stuck in a fucking stigma. The
fucking Dodgers and the Phillies and the Cardinals and all
that sheep shit. These mother fucking editorials about say and
fucking the phillyitis and all that shit. That's sickening. It's unbelievable,
(32:54):
it really is. It's a disheartening fucking situation we're in
right now. Five and fourteen doesn't gate all that work.
Put me three fucking games left. I'm trying to say it.
Don't rip them fucking guys out there, rip me. Do
you want to rip somebody, rip my fucking ad, But
(33:14):
don't rip them fucking guys because they're killing everything they
can give. Once we hit that fucking groove, it'll flow,
and it will flow. The talent's there. I don't know
how to make it any clearancey. I'm frustrated. I'll guarantee
I'm frustrated. It'd be different if I walked in this
room every day at eight thirty and saw a bunch
(33:34):
of guys they didn't give a shit. They give a
shit and It's a tough natural ad a tough National
League period.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
All right.
Speaker 4 (33:43):
So there it is Lee Ilia, the classic meltdown. Poh
rest in peace, Lee Ilia. A couple of notes on that.
I actually ran into Lee Ilia years ago. The Dodgers
hired him as a advisor consultant. Ned Kaletti was the
general manager of the Dodgers, and I saw Lee he lived.
(34:06):
I think he lived in Atlanta at the time. He
lived on the East Coast somewhere. However, he occasionally would
show up to Dodger Stadium, and many people who are
my buddies in the media knew that I love that sound.
That's the greatest sund You're not liked that, and they
would say, hey, there's Lee Ilia. So I saw him
in the immediate dining room there at Dodger Stadium. I
(34:28):
also met the Les Grobstein, he also lost Less, Les Grobstein,
who was the Chicago radio man that recorded that I
ran into Less. Actually in Indianapolis. I was there for
a basketball game. Les was there as well, and he
told me the story. I was introduced to him.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
And I was introduced to him as.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
The guy that got the audio recorded the audio. There's
two radio legends that recorded Meltdown's Paul Olden, who's now
the voice of Yankee Stadium, the public address announcer. He
recorded Losorta, Kingson's performance and all that, and so that
was that was one of the greats. And I was
gonna include Tommy in this, and I was like, there's
(35:13):
like a different sub category for Tommy. My favorite Losorta
rant is Kurt Bavoqua. That is to me the great
in fact, you know what, I know we're talking about, Leah,
I want to why don't we.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Play that right here?
Speaker 4 (35:29):
The Dodgers had a picture named Tom Needenfeer who had
been fined for throwing at one of the San Diego
Padres players. That led to Kurt Bavoqua tell the media.
He told the sports writers that the person that should
have been fined was the manager, the fat little Italian, well,
(35:51):
Tommy Lesorta, who was the apparently the fat little Italian
that Kurt Levaka was talking about. He was asked about
that the following day, and that led to what is
the greatest rant by Tommy desaur is not the Kingman.
It's Tommy reacting and getting worked up into a ladder
(36:12):
because Kurt Bovaqua, who was a player for the Padres
at the time, called him a fat little Italian and
the writer said, what do you think about that? And
that led to this, let's take a listen.
Speaker 14 (36:23):
I have never, ever since I had managed, ever told
the picture to throw it anybody, nor will I ever
And if I ever did, I certainly wouldn't make him
throw at a fucking one hundred and thirty hitter like
Lefe or fucking Bovaqua, who could hit water if he
fell out of a fucking boat.
Speaker 5 (36:44):
And I guarant fucking te you this.
Speaker 14 (36:47):
When I pitched and I was going to pitch against
a fucking team that had guys on it like the Baqua,
I sent a fucking limousine to get the cocksucker to
make sure he was in the motherfucking lineup because I
kicked that cocksucker's add any fucking day a week is
a fucking motherfucking big mouth. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
Uh alright, there's Tommy Lasorda the SORTA late edition, but
lee Ilia is still number one.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
You can put the Sorta number two if you want.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
Bad job by me, But there's a different subcategory with
the Sorda ants So there it is, Big Ben's Big Board,
the greatest coaching meltdowns in US sports history. And again,
if we missed one, hit me up, let me hear
you until next time and we'll have new podcasts all weekend.
Enjoy the rest of your day today and we got
(37:37):
you covered with Danny G and Me all weekend long later.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Skater, kiss my asta pasta, got a murder.
Speaker 8 (37:48):
I gotta go.
Kutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard starts right now in.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
The air everywhere.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mallor and Danny g
Radio A Happy Friday to you.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Although you can listen to this oneever.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
This is more of an evergreen pod than what we
normally do on the Fifth Hour. But it is the
summer of twenty twenty five. We're in July, and come one,
come all, gather around the magic pod box. You won't
believe your ears. Be ready to smile. I'm talking cheshire
(01:02):
Cat smile from ear to ear. It is time to
pour one out for our homie. A Bonus Malard monologue
in honor of the late great former Cub manager Lee
Ilia and Phillies manager who left this mortal coil. And
he left this world with a legendary microphone meltdown for
(01:25):
the ages, the Michael Angelo of the coaching Rant. People
talk about the greatest of all time. They did a
rant on my overnight show last night. You might have
heard it on the Ben Maler Show, and I mentioned
that people talk about who's the greatest quarterback in the NFL,
and some people will say Back in the day, they'd
say Joe Montana. Now everyone says, well, it's Tom Brady.
Tom Brady's the greatest of all time. They say who's
(01:47):
the greatest baseball player? Most people say, Babe Ruth is
the greatest baseball player. Oh, there's a name Willie Mays
or someone like that, but most people say Babe Ruth.
They say, who's the greatest basketball player of all time?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
The real ones know it's Michael Jordan. The real ones
know it's Michael Jordan.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
You say, who's the person that gave us the greatest
rant of all time into a news conference?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
And that's Lee Ilia.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
So that is the one that stands out, the Michelangelo
of the coaching Rant. So in his memory, in his honor,
we are cracking open the vault on the Fifth Hour podcast.
Here it's Benny's big board, not a list, not a
list to Terry in England. Now I was thinking of
(02:31):
doing this anyway, and then my senior advisor, a platinum
artist who is back in the mallor Palooza this year,
our friend Jayscoop, and he had messaged me. He works
in collaboration with just Josh, and he's like, this would
be a great idea. So the again, not a list.
I want to make sure that's on the record.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Not a list.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
But this is Benny's big board, the five greatest microphone
meltdowns in US sports history. Now this is the coaching,
and I left a lot of the basketball. In fact,
there's no basketball in this. I can do a separate
subcategory in basketball. Lee Ilia was a baseball manager, of course,
and so this is almost all baseball and mostly football.
(03:16):
Because it's not an ordinary big board, it's a full on,
off the cuff, top of my dome compilation. These are
the most epic, unhinged rants to ever grace a presser,
at least that I remember today that I cobbled this together.
So if we missed any of your favorites, and we did,
(03:39):
you know we only have limited time here.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Hit us up. Let us know.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
You can email me real fifth hour at gmail dot com,
Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
We'll try to accommodate you.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Now, before we get to the five at the very
top of Big Ben's Big board, we have the honorable
mention category because we got to give props before we
get to the big dogs, the big dogs. We're going
to start out in Cincinnati, home of legendary show contributors
(04:11):
like just Josh, who we already mentioned, and Justin and Cincinnati.
So the Reds have been a glorified dumpster fire for years,
but one of the great rants, and it reached honorable
mentioned status, was a number of years back the Red
set of manager named Brian Price. Let's just say the
price was not right. As Price was upset, the Reds
(04:35):
beat writers had led out a secret about a roster
move the Reds were going to make before the team
announced it, and that led to a record setting seventy
seven f bombs in a tirade that while it didn't
make the top five, it did make honorable mention. Let's
(04:56):
give you a little taste of this. This is Brian
Price years ago the res and you're probably about ten
years ago or so. Listen to him, and he starts
out rather come and next thing you know, it's F this,
F that, F you blah blah blah.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Take a listen.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
You know, look, I don't need you guys to be
fans of the Reds.
Speaker 6 (05:14):
I just need to know that if there's something that
we want to keep here, that it stays here. We
don't need to know that Tucker Barnhart's in the airport
when we haven't spoken to Kyle Skipworth. I think we
owe them and that kid the right to be called
and told that he's going to be sent down, as
opposed to reading that Tucker Barnhart's on his way and
from Louisville. I just I don't get it. I don't
(05:37):
get why it's got to be this way. Has it
always been this way? Where we just tell everybody everything?
So every opponent that we have has to know exactly
what we have, relievers are available, which guys are here,
and which guys aren't here when they can play what
they can do. It's nobody's in business. It's certainly not
the opponent's business. We've got to deal with this. I
(06:00):
like to talk, and I have spoken as candidly as
I can with you people. If if that's not good enough.
I won't say a thing. I'll go yes, sir, no certain,
and I can do that. But I've been as candid
as I can be about this team and our players,
and we got to deal with this. Every team that
we play has to know everything guy that's here and
(06:21):
what they can and can do.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
Me so in disgrace and sick of it.
Speaker 6 (06:28):
It's hard enough to win here to have every opponent
know exactly what we bring to the table every day.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
I don't like it.
Speaker 6 (06:39):
That's what I'm saying, to make it very clear. I
don't like the way that this is going at all.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
I don't like it.
Speaker 6 (06:46):
I don't think you guys need to know everything, and
I certainly don't think that you need to see something
and tweet it out there and make it in world event.
How do we benefit from them knowing that we don't
have Devin Mesarako?
Speaker 5 (07:00):
How do we benefit from that they benefit from it?
Speaker 6 (07:03):
I just want to know how we benefit from these
people knowing that we don't have a player here. Can
you answer that? How is that good for the Reds to? Yeah, well,
it's making my job harder, Sure it is, well, thank you.
I don't just don't know if that's what we're supposed
to do, or we supposed to open up everything here
(07:24):
for everybody to know all the time. So it's all
I want to know what your expectations are, because me,
if I got to tell these guys we got to
go out there and they know we don't have Devin Mesuraka,
what benefit is that to me as a manager and our.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Team to win a game?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
All right?
Speaker 4 (07:40):
So that Devin Mesurako or whatever the guy's name was,
and that was Brian pie seventy seven f bomps. That's
just a little taste of it.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Got kind of boring. He kept saying the F word,
but it got kind of boring. That was the meaty
part of it.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
And this is the honorable mention on Big Ben's big board.
These are some of the great tie raids in honor
of Lee Ilia. Now he tried to find the top
audio on John McKay.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
This is way back.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
We're going back to the nineteen seventies, so this is
way over fifty years ago. John McKay was one of
the great college football coaches of all time. At the
University of Southern California. He wasn't getting paid a lot
of money. They didn't pay a lot of money back
in those days. He was getting low balled and near
the end of his career he's like, gos, screw it.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were an expansion team and this
(08:29):
renegade owner, Hugh Culverhouse, who was despised, he actually was
like the godfather of the La Rams.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
That's a whole different story.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Yeah, the guy that owned the Bucks offered John McKay
to more than double his salary. They made him like
the highest paid coach in football at the time. So
John McKay left the University of Southern California and he
went all the way to Tampa to coach the Buccaneers.
And they were an expansion team. They were terrible, and
John McKay was a quote machine. Now one of the
(09:00):
great quotes of all time. I tried to find the auto,
I couldn't find it. It was when he was asked
about his team's execution and he famously said, I'm in
favor of it. Now, they give you an idea how
crazy times have changed. A few years back. I forget
who the coach was, but a coach used that line
like I think it was an NFL coach used that
line might have been a college coach, but they just
(09:23):
repeated it and the wokesters on social media.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I can't believe the coach said that.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
So I didn't find that sound bite, but I did
go to the archive from This is a clip, old clip.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
From NFL films. I think this came from.
Speaker 4 (09:37):
This is some of the highlights of John McKay. He
was coaching the Buccaneers. He's on the sidelines and listen,
I'll give you a little taste of this. It's honorable
mention John McKay. We're going back over fifty years and
here's John McKay on the sidelines, miked up for NFL films,
and listen to him critique his Tampa Bay Buccaneers in
(10:00):
real time.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Take a listen, don't hit him, don't hit him.
Speaker 7 (10:05):
Well, let's say, oh, jeezus, gentlemen, who can't stop a
pass or a run.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
We're in great shape.
Speaker 7 (10:13):
I have a lot of careers going in Monday.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Yeah, let's play everybody. We're just hard.
Speaker 8 (10:17):
We're not proving one thing here.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
We we prove we can't play.
Speaker 7 (10:19):
That's not it's just he was a football Another damn chicken.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
We got out here.
Speaker 7 (10:25):
That's what I say, we got some many fucks and
no sour. Yeah, yeah, I would figure that you would
stagger around. What's wrong with playing mont in the game?
He tackles, He's only got one chass Megas football team.
He asks like he's got it made. He ain't got
nothing made.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
All right?
Speaker 4 (10:39):
So that was that was John McKay, Uh chicken.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
That was pretty good. I like that.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
So that's that's back in the nineteen seventies. Another honorable mention, Uh,
the greatest of all time Bobby Knight college basketball. So
I said there were no coaches from basketball liede bad
job by me.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
There's no NBA coaches. But this is Bobby Knight.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
And going back many years, he was still at Indiana
Legendary Indiana Who's yours college basketball coach? Also coached at
Texas Tech. And here is Bobby Knight giving out advice
on what he wanted to happen when he finally died.
Now Bobby's dead, but listen to this wisdom from the
late great Bobby Knight.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
When my time.
Speaker 9 (11:25):
On Earth is gone and my activities here are past,
I want they bury me upside down and my critics
can kiss my and.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
The crowd goes wild.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
The crowd goes wild as Bobby Knight walks away. All right,
Another honorable mention on this fifth hour honoring Lee Ilia.
We go to New Jersey and a man who got
a television career because of a roughly thirty second rant
to the media. We are talking going back twenty five years.
(12:00):
I believe this soundbite's from This is HERM Edwards and
it is an infamous SoundBite. Did not make the top
five on Big Ben's Big Board. But here's HERM Edwards
coaching the Jets. Things were not going well, because things
never go well when you're coaching the Jets. But here's
HERM Edwards on what it is all about.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Take a listen.
Speaker 10 (12:21):
This was great about sports. This is what the greatest
thing about sports is. You play to win the game. Hello,
You play to win the game. You don't play to
just play it. That's a great thing about sports. You
play to win, and I don't care if you don't
have any wins. You go play to win. When you start.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
Telling me it doesn't matter to retire.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Get out, get out.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
That was HERM Edwards giving a sermon that is still
gospel to this day. People that are young that never
even knew who horm Edwards were or was.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Rather like, oh herm Edwards.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
The last honorable mention before we get in to the
top five on Big Ben's Big Board. This is not
on the top five. It is my personal favorite and
I love this. Back when we used to have sound
on the show and drops on the show, and back
in the old days, we played a lot of drops
from this particular guy. It's a college football coach at
(13:28):
Coastal Carolina. The Shanta Clears, I believe, is what their
mascot is. Here is David Bennett, the only college coach
to sneak into Big Ben's Big Board in terms of
honorable mention. He was at Coastal Carolina and for some
reason he started talking about well, he started talking about
(13:51):
cats and dogs and it well, just listen.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Trying to get our two boys ready to gear him
a goff ternment foot prints right, twelve cats live across
the road.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
Our door's open.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Screens broke. We need to get a new screen door.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
But the screens broke, so you can come in through
the screen, but you can't get back out of I
turned to look, there's a little kitty cat in our kitchen,
so I.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Said, what are you doing in here? A little kitty cat.
By that time, the cat turns, tries to get back out,
that scream won't go that way.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Cat starts going all crazy, and I told our players
we need more dogs. Bows barging in the back after
go shut bow up, mels like, what's going on? It
says the cat and house cat in the house. I said,
it is a cat in the house. So I told
our players, I try to let it out the front door.
The cat's still going crazy in there, and I told
our players.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
You needy bit more like a dog. We don't need
a bunch of cats in here. Looking in the mirror,
I look good.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
I got my extra bands on, I got my other shoes.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Be a dog.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
We don't need no mowns. We don't need no cats.
We need more dogs.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
We all need more dogs. We all need more dogs.
That was great, David Bennett. I don't know what happened
to him. I looked it up a couple of years back.
I don't know what he's doing. He's probably retired at
this point. That was a years ago rant from the
coach at Coastal Carolina. And as you may remember, my
father in law my in laws have a house in
(15:16):
North Carolina, and I was down there a couple years
back with the wife. We went to visit him, and
we drove by Coastal Carolina. And when we were driving
by Coastal Carolina, I was like, this is a big deal.
In fact, they had an ad up in the airport
we flew into. I think it was in Myrtle Beach,
(15:37):
I believe any I don't remember where. It's been a
little while, but.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
They had a sign up for the school. I was like,
that's the school.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
The Cats and Dogs guy went to. That's the guy
right there. That was huge, huge, all right, Now turning
the page, Let's go to the main event. Now, Benny's
big board. Not a list, not a list. Five microphone
meltdowns in US sports history, the Coaching edition, And we
(16:07):
go to number five.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Numbber five, Numbber five, an underrated rant old school.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
We go now to Minnesota. He was the head coach
of the Old Minnesota Vikings. Jerry Burns. Jerry Burns, and
he came out swinging, defending his offensive coordinator with a
profanity laced outburst that was equal parts loyalty in lunacy
as Jerry Burns worked himself up burnsy into an absolute tizzy,
(16:43):
spitting fire at the football media who was questioning the
Minnesota Vikings play calling. And he was a poet, a
poet of rage. Let's go in the hot tub time
machine back. I think this is in the late eighties,
early nineth these. Here is Jerry Burns, the Minnesota Vikings
(17:03):
head coach, passionately, passionately defending his offensive coordinator. And listen
to Jerry Burns. Let's go to the audio tape.
Speaker 11 (17:16):
Let me say something. As long as I'm in his
fucking job, Schnelker will be the offensive coach.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
I mean, no, no question fucking about that.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
Fucking question about that.
Speaker 11 (17:26):
We I don't like the name names after a fucking
after a fucking game, but we we can't. We can't
be responsible for the block, and we can't be responsible
for the guys jumping off side. We can't be responsible
for the fun we get down there and and uh
and it was a dumb play by by Anderson.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
I love I love Anderson, but it was a numb
fucking play.
Speaker 11 (17:45):
When he had with his foot was shoe was coming
off up the line, screat we were hard to take
time out we had a fucking trap play called and
and his fucking shoe comes off.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
That ain't that ain't bought Schneker's fall.
Speaker 11 (17:58):
We have another fucking trap play and then he picks
up his fucking feet, he walks in.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
We got the fucking the pass.
Speaker 11 (18:04):
Who ac out there in the flat is the boss
throwing in low?
Speaker 1 (18:10):
That is a Sneker's fault.
Speaker 11 (18:13):
We got right down there, we got we got the
second down and then what the hell two years ago
out of what fifteen forty, whatever the hell it was,
and Irwin, she jumps off side. These are things that
have been hurting us all along, the little things. We're
working at him to stop them. We goog the ball
good today. We went down there and we didn't get
(18:33):
the bone hands on him.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
He wouldn't stin.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
I think we did.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
So that was Jerry Burns after a win, ranting and
defending somebody named Bob Snelker, who was the offensive coordinator
of the Vikings back in I think this was nineteen
eighty nine, So that was number five on Big Ben's
big board.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Jerry Burns defending Bob Schnelker.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Now the number four, number four a oldie, but a
goodie an NFL coach undressing one of his players. Mike
Singletary was the baddest man on the planet when he
played linebacker for Mike Ditka, and Dicka almost made this list.
We were trying to find there were a couple of
(19:17):
Mike Dicka rants we didn't. We weren't able to find
the audio. So we're going with Mike Singletary here at
number four. He was very briefly the forty nine ers
head coach, and they had a first round pick who
was a athletic gift from the gods. Fact, we had
this guy on this podcast a while back, Vernon Davis,
and things were not going well early in Vernon Davis's
(19:39):
career built like a Donnas. He wasn't playing up to
Mike Singletary's standard as the forty nine er coach, and
so Mike Singletary, in front of the media on national
television in a postgame news conference, pantched Vernon Davis. In fact,
it got to the point where Mike Singletary on Mike,
(20:00):
you'll hear it here. Mike Singletary not just called out
Vernon Davis, it was a public execution where he essentially
said they would be better off playing a man short.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Let's go to the audio tape.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Here is Mike Singletary whose number four.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Take a listen, Vernon, Vernon.
Speaker 12 (20:22):
Just was something that I told everybody at the very
beginning of the week. I will not tolerate players that
think it's about them when it's about the team and
we cannot make we cannot make decisions that costs the
team and then come off the sideline and it's nonchalant, No,
(20:46):
you know what. This is how I believe. Okay, I'm
from the old school.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
I believe this. I would rather play with ten people.
Speaker 12 (20:55):
And just get penalized all the way until we got
to do something else, rather than play with eleven when
I know that right now that person has not sold
out to be a part of this team. It is
more about them than it is about the team. Cannot
play with him, cannot win with him, cannot coach with him,
can't do it.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
So good, so good. I was really pulling for Mike Singletary.
I remember being on the air at Fox Sports Radio.
It was like, I want this. I need Mike Singletary
to be a good head coach, just because of stuff
like that. Unfortunately, he sucked as a head coach. It
didn't work out, but we will always have that, and
that is Mike Singletary, number four, number four on the
(21:41):
big Board.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Not a list.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Cannot play with him, cannot win with him, cannot coach
with him, can't do it, can't do it. And I
realize we're on an audio only thing here on the podcast.
But Mike Singletary's eyes, it's like he's a superpower. He
can literally burn you up with his eyes and just
apps great. Not at number three, number three on Big
(22:04):
Ben's Big Board.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
These are the greatest rants in honor of the late
greatly Aelia who left us.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
This week we pour out this big board in honor
of Lee Ilia. So now we get to the Fox
Sports Radio Alumni edition and someone that we had on
this podcast as well. I got to do some radio
shows with him. Very exciting for me. I was a
fan of him. I knew who he was. I'd watched
him when I was younger. I got to do some
(22:31):
shows with him at Fox Sports Radio. The great Jim Mora.
Now for many people Playoffs is the greatest rant of
all time, but not for us, Not for us, and
not my big board.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
It's not your big board, it's my big board.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
So for me, we're going to go back to Jim Mora,
who was coaching the Saints nineteen ninety six.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
This comes from it was.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
Week eight, all right, this is the eighth game of
the nineteen ninety six season. And the Saints came out
and they were terrible, and Jim Mora calmly walked out
wearing his Saints gear, his coaching gear. After the Saints
had lost the game, he got to kind of a
makeshift podium and he unleashed an absolute masterpiece.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
This is masterpiece theater.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
Frustrated, and he gave us one of the all time
great phrases in this exasperated meltdown.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Take a listen to.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Jim Mora as he gave his state of the New
Orleans Saints address, as only coach Mora could do.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Take a listen.
Speaker 13 (23:41):
Well, what happened was that second game we got our
ass kicked, or the second half we just got our
ass totally kicked. We couldn't do Diddley Pooh offensively. We
couldn't make a first down. We couldn't run the ball.
We didn't try to run the ball. We couldn't complete
a pass, We sucked the second half. We sucked. We
couldn't stop the run. Every time they got the ball
(24:02):
and went down and got points. We got our ass
totally kicked in the second half. That's what it boiled
down to. It was a horse performance in the second half.
Speaker 14 (24:09):
Four.
Speaker 13 (24:10):
I'm totally embarrassed and totally ashamed coaching art were our
coaching did a horrible job. The players did a horrible job.
We got our ass kick in that second half. It sucked,
it stuck.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
How do you really feel, coach more, how do you
really feel? All that was so good, so great, loved, loved.
Jim Mora one of the greatest people.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
Know.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
There's a lot of athletes and coaches or whatever that
have passed through the building in Sherman Oaks over the years,
but Jim Mora just great, just absolutely wonderful. The stories
he told some that we can't repeat, wonderful. But that
line we couldn't do Diddley Pooh offensively. That is the
line that made this number three on Big Ben's Big
(24:54):
Board on this special edition of the Fifth Hour Podcast.
Now we move up to Bert Dude, number two and
number two, another member of the Fox Sports Radio alumni Association.
I I got a couple of stories about this guy.
But let's get right into it. We're going way back.
The Arizona Cardinals.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Yeah, I had to go there, right.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
The Arizona Cardinals had just lost a game against the
Chicago Bears. I believe this game was on a Monday night,
and Dennis Green got up to the dais. The Bears
had come back in the game against the Cardinals. The
Arizona thought they were going to win the game, and
Dennis Green eyes wide voice cracking, he had a nuclear
(25:39):
meltdown at the podium and take a listen to the
great late Dennis Green.
Speaker 15 (25:46):
Wait, the Bears are what we thought they were. What
we thought they were. We played them in preseason. Who
the hell takes a third game in a preseason like
a s boop? We played them the third game, everybody
played three quarters or who we thought they were.
Speaker 16 (26:02):
Now, that's why we took the damn field. Now, if
you want to crown him, they crown their ass. But
they are who we thought they were. And we got
about the hook all.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Right, Thank you? Kay was so good.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
So when I was doing college radio at Saddleback College,
it was a it was a DJ at the college
radio station was a jazz format, and the program director,
who was my professor, not really a program director, he's like, hey,
there's this guy.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
He knew I liked sports.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
He said, this guy that's a coach in the NFL
and he's a jazz musician and he wants to come
by and promote his music and we want you to
talk to him.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Because I was like the only DJ that liked sports.
So I was like, sure, I'd love to do it.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
And he said, he's the guy that coaches the Minnesota Vikings.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
I said really.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
I was like, oh, I think I know he used
to coach at Stanford, and yeah, yeah, that's the guy.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
And so it was.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
It was Dennis Green, and we had him in and
we played his music and we talked to him and
he was great and wonderful. He was so kind to me.
He handed me his business card. He said, listen, Ben,
anytime that we are in As you know, the Vikings
were in southern California at that time, The Raiders and
(27:18):
the Rams were in LA. The Chargers were in San Diego,
and Saddleback is in Orange County, but south Orange County,
so it's kind of in between LA and San Diego
and Coach Green was like, hey, listen, anytime the Vikings
are in the area and you want tickets, here's my
personal card. He gave me the card. He gave the
(27:39):
extension to his secretary. He says, you call her up
and this is the card. I'll get you tickets. No,
I never did it, but it was just really cool.
It was like the coolest thing at Dennis Green. Like, I'm,
you know, fresh out of high school. I'm barely in
college and Dennis Green is NFL head coach, the coach
of the Minnesota Vikings is like, hey, now we'll hook
(28:01):
you up. And then I got to work. Very briefly,
I say I got to work with him. I don't
know if that's the right way to say it, but
Dennis Green was hired at Fox Sports Radio after he
left the Cardinals.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Very briefly, I say, very briefly.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
I'm trying to do this off memory as I remember it.
Dennis Green worked at Fox Sports Radio for approximately two weeks.
His agent got him the job at FSR, so he's
working at Fox Sports Radio.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Fine. Well.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
After taking the job, ESPN, which pays a little bit
more money than Fox Sports Radio offered Dennis Green a
TV job, so he was there about two weeks.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
It might have been a little longer than that, but
it wasn't much longer than that. And Dennis Green.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
Left and skidaddled off to television, and that was the
last we saw of the late great Dennis Green. Now
do number one on Big Ben's Big Board. And here
we are the very top of the mountain, the peak
of the Mountain, paying tribute to the King of all meltdowns.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Lee Elia.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Yeah, the man, the myth, the microphone murderer set this up.
We played it on the Overnight Show. But I'm gonna
play the extended dance remix. And I don't think this
is edited as far as like the bad words, you'll
hear all the bad words.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
So it's the early nineteen eighties.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
It's April twenty ninth of nineteen eighty three. I am
a child. I didn't know about this at the time,
but it happened on my birthday. So the Cubs had
just gotten their ass kicked by the Dodgers, and the
Cub fans were booing it Wrigley. The players in those
(29:52):
days had to go out to the outfield. The clubhouse
was in center field, so they had to go out
to the outfield. The Chicago Cup fans were throwing all
over the players, and lee Ilia found out about this,
and he did not appreciate it. It is the gold standard.
There are some lines in here that can never be matched.
(30:14):
They're the all time greatest. He went on and on
and on. It was drill sergeant like, So let's go
back in the hot, tough time machine the week that
we lost Lee Ilia.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
He passed away a couple of days ago.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Here is Lee Elia, then, the Chicago Cup manager, nineteen
eighty three, with the single greatest rant of all time.
This is why Lee Ilia is the goat of the
media meltdown.
Speaker 8 (30:42):
I'll tell you one fucking thing. I hope we get
fucking hotter and shit, just to stuff it up them
three thousand fucking people that show up every fucking day,
because if they're the real Chicago fucking fans, they can
kiss my fucking ass right downtown and try it. They're
really really behind you around here, my fucking head, What
(31:07):
am I supposed to do? Go out there and let
my fucking players get destroyed every day and be quiet
about it. For the fucking nickel dyin people to show up.
The motherfuckers don't even work. That's why they're out at
the fucking game. They only go out and get a
fucking job and find out what it's like to go
out there and are fucking living. Eighty five percent of
the fucking world work it. The other fifteen come out
(31:28):
here the fucking playground for the cocksuckers. Motherfuckers, cocksuckers like
the fucking players. God guys bussing their fucking hands, and
these fucking people do. And that's the come my fucking ad.
They talk about the great fucking support that the players
(31:50):
get around here. I haven't seen it this fucking hair.
The name of the game is hit the ball, catch
the ball, and get the fucking job done. Right now, Well,
we have more laws than we have wins. The fucking
changes that have happened in the Cup organization are multipoles,
all right. They don't show because we're five and fourteen,
(32:12):
And unfortunately that's the criteria of them. Some fifteen motherfucking
percent that come out to day baseball. The other eighty
five percent are earning a living. It'll take more than
a five and thirteen or five and fourteen to destroy
the makeup of this club. I guarantee you that there's
some fucking pros out there that want to fucking play
(32:34):
this game, but you're stuck in a fucking stigma. The
fucking Dodgers and the Phillies and the Cardinals and all
that sheep shit. These mother fucking editorials about say and
fucking the phillyitis and all that shit. That's sickening. It's unbelievable,
(32:54):
it really is. It's a disheartening fucking situation we're in
right now. Five and fourteen doesn't gate all that work.
Put me three fucking games left. I'm trying to say it.
Don't rip them fucking guys out there, rip me. Do
you want to rip somebody, rip my fucking ad, But
(33:14):
don't rip them fucking guys because they're killing everything they
can give. Once we hit that fucking groove, it'll flow,
and it will flow. The talent's there. I don't know
how to make it any clearancey. I'm frustrated. I'll guarantee
I'm frustrated. It'd be different if I walked in this
room every day at eight thirty and saw a bunch
(33:34):
of guys they didn't give a shit. They give a
shit and It's a tough natural ad a tough National
League period.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
All right.
Speaker 4 (33:43):
So there it is Lee Ilia, the classic meltdown. Poh
rest in peace, Lee Ilia. A couple of notes on that.
I actually ran into Lee Ilia years ago. The Dodgers
hired him as a advisor consultant. Ned Kaletti was the
general manager of the Dodgers, and I saw Lee he lived.
(34:06):
I think he lived in Atlanta at the time. He
lived on the East Coast somewhere. However, he occasionally would
show up to Dodger Stadium, and many people who are
my buddies in the media knew that I love that sound.
That's the greatest sund You're not liked that, and they
would say, hey, there's Lee Ilia. So I saw him
in the immediate dining room there at Dodger Stadium. I
(34:28):
also met the Les Grobstein, he also lost Less, Les Grobstein,
who was the Chicago radio man that recorded that I
ran into Less. Actually in Indianapolis. I was there for
a basketball game. Les was there as well, and he
told me the story. I was introduced to him.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
And I was introduced to him as.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
The guy that got the audio recorded the audio. There's
two radio legends that recorded Meltdown's Paul Olden, who's now
the voice of Yankee Stadium, the public address announcer. He
recorded Losorta, Kingson's performance and all that, and so that
was that was one of the greats. And I was
gonna include Tommy in this, and I was like, there's
(35:13):
like a different sub category for Tommy. My favorite Losorta
rant is Kurt Bavoqua. That is to me the great
in fact, you know what, I know we're talking about, Leah,
I want to why don't we.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Play that right here?
Speaker 4 (35:29):
The Dodgers had a picture named Tom Needenfeer who had
been fined for throwing at one of the San Diego
Padres players. That led to Kurt Bavoqua tell the media.
He told the sports writers that the person that should
have been fined was the manager, the fat little Italian, well,
(35:51):
Tommy Lesorta, who was the apparently the fat little Italian
that Kurt Levaka was talking about. He was asked about
that the following day, and that led to what is
the greatest rant by Tommy desaur is not the Kingman.
It's Tommy reacting and getting worked up into a ladder
(36:12):
because Kurt Bovaqua, who was a player for the Padres
at the time, called him a fat little Italian and
the writer said, what do you think about that? And
that led to this, let's take a listen.
Speaker 14 (36:23):
I have never, ever since I had managed, ever told
the picture to throw it anybody, nor will I ever
And if I ever did, I certainly wouldn't make him
throw at a fucking one hundred and thirty hitter like
Lefe or fucking Bovaqua, who could hit water if he
fell out of a fucking boat.
Speaker 5 (36:44):
And I guarant fucking te you this.
Speaker 14 (36:47):
When I pitched and I was going to pitch against
a fucking team that had guys on it like the Baqua,
I sent a fucking limousine to get the cocksucker to
make sure he was in the motherfucking lineup because I
kicked that cocksucker's add any fucking day a week is
a fucking motherfucking big mouth. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
Uh alright, there's Tommy Lasorda the SORTA late edition, but
lee Ilia is still number one.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
You can put the Sorta number two if you want.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
Bad job by me, But there's a different subcategory with
the Sorda ants So there it is, Big Ben's Big Board,
the greatest coaching meltdowns in US sports history. And again,
if we missed one, hit me up, let me hear
you until next time and we'll have new podcasts all weekend.
Enjoy the rest of your day today and we got
(37:37):
you covered with Danny G and Me all weekend long later.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Skater, kiss my asta pasta, got a murder.
Speaker 8 (37:48):
I gotta go.
Host
Ben Maller
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