July 25, 2025 • 30 mins
Ben Maller (produced by Danny G.) has a great Friday for you! He talks: Merry-Go-Rounds, the Hulkster, Restaurant Rubber Stamp, Maller Meatball, Phrase of the Week, & more!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the Clearinghouse
of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
The air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mallor
and Danny g Radio and a very happy Friday to you.
We have made it to the end of the road,
which is never really the end of the road, because
when you do the radio show during the week and
you've got the podcast on the weekends, it never ends.
It never ever ends. But we are back at it
here on this Friday morning, celebrating National Merry Go Round Day.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
We It's National Merry Go Round Day, So listen.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I used to love merry go rounds when I was
a kid. I rotate nuts.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
How dare you? I'm an adult. I haven't been on
one in a long time.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
I did love, though, I fell down another rabbit hole
when I see these dopey holidays that get my attention.
I'm like, hey, I want to know more about the
merry go round. So then I started doing some research
and you start typing some things in and some other
things come up, and you keep going and going and
going and going. The earliest known carousels five hundred a d.
But it was really the Middle Ages, the beginning of
(01:32):
the modern I say modern, it's crazy to say that,
but the medieval period is when the merry go round
as we know it first popped up. And it was soldiers,
medieval soldiers who would compete in this game. It was
a version of the current carousel ride to train for
jousting tournaments. And they believe that's one of the reasons
(01:55):
most carousels have horses on them, as a homage.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
To me evol times and the jousting.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
And then the next big period of time was one
hundreds of years later. In the Industrial Revolution, the mass
production of heavy machinery used in merrygo rounds became possible
and so the carousels were more available. We couldn't really
do that before there were a little small things. And
then right around eighteen hundred, the first known carousel ride
(02:26):
in America, and it was operated in Salem, Massachusetts, the
Salem Witch Trials famous there it was called the Wooden
Horse Circus Ride and that was in actually seventeen ninety nine.
And then later on in the eighteen hundreds, the mass
migration to America from Europe. Immigrants from Europe European countries
(02:51):
began to put carousels everywhere.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
They loved carousels, probably it was big.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
In Europe, and so they came to America and they
were like, hey, this is what we got to check
it out and people were into it.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
So that's I think that's all I have. I think
that's that's all I have.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
The first carousel patented was by William Schneider from Davenport, Iowa,
and that was considered the first modern modern caressel.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
That was in eighteen seventy one. So there you go.
That's that's enough. We're good on that.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
So on this podcast, we've got a Melancholie Maler Marlborough
Man Malar meatball and if we have time, the phrase
of the week, but we begin with this and it's
Melancholy Maler. Last night, if you were listening, we did
a special homage, a eulogy to a legend who was
(03:41):
not someone that had wins and losses, not real wins
and losses. There was somebody that wrote who won and
who lost? But a cultural icon if you're of a
certain age. I was a hall comaniac because I talked
about last night, Halt Cogan seemed through the eyes of
a child like he was one of the cartoon characters
I would watch on Saturday morning when I was a
(04:03):
little kid, and all we had was Saturday Morning cartoons
because we lived in the dark ages, and I would
watch he Man or some of these other superheroes, Captain America,
you know, comic books. I'd look at those different things,
and then you saw, like haul kose won, this guy
looks like a real life superhero, Like this is legit,
these comics, that's real life. And I was like, this
must be based on real life. And Hulk Hogan. And
(04:25):
then every as I talked about in the monologue last night,
everything Hulk Hogan, I was in on some of my finest,
fondest memories through the eyes of a child. Okay, through
the eyes of a child, listen. I yeah, you don't know.
At that time, when I was a kid, they had
not revealed that wrestling was fake we were so stupid,
(04:46):
were like, looks legit, you know, Andre the Giant taking
on hul Cogan and Macho Man, Randy Savage and all
these wild characters, right, wild characters.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
And so.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Rest in peace, the hall Coger and I did see
some stuff, people trying to urinate all over the holster
and all that stuff. And listen, he was not perfect.
No one's perfect. And hall Cogan, though it touched a
lot of lives and was one of the most famous
people in the United States.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Of America when I was a kid.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
He was I think of when I was a kid,
who were the most famous people? And hal Cogan is,
I don't do a list. I'm not doing a list
Terry in England. But I'm just telling you it's my
big board, haul Cogan, as I've talked about, on that
big board.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
So turning the page on that story time.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Storytime on the fifth hour with me, Ben Mahler and
Danny g who is producing this podcast and will hopefully
joined me at some point this weekend, But we flashed
back to a recent journey to the face of the Sun.
So last weekend, the malordmobile was loaded up. We went
to Rancho Mirage in the californ You desert, because why not.
(06:02):
It's one hundred and fifteen degrees. Why would you not
go there. It's the kind of heat that makes you
question whether you're actually a human being or just a
soft boiled egg. So we went out there to enjoy
the nice heat and those beautiful luxury pools they have,
and they were nice, tepid bathwater, lukewarm, wonderful, had a
(06:22):
lazy river barely moving, just floating along there in the sun,
baking like you're in a rotisserie. And it was just
a nice weekend, a really more of a day than anything.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Because you gotta do this podcast, but just.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
A day to kind of unwine and unplugged for a
little bit and try not to die from the atmospheric pressure.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Mind you, it is not global warming. It's called summer.
It happens every year. And yet there I was, there
I was, and there he was? And who is he?
You ask, what are your pronoun who is he?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Well?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
That guy or go the guy guy fiery in the kitchen, now,
mind you, not the actual guy. Of course, I'm talking
about a glossy eight by ten of him mid bite,
or maybe he was laughing. I don't know, sunglasses lowered,
the look, the smile like he had just heard the
(07:21):
punchline to a joke that involves some kind of bacon
and bourbon, and he.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Was dreaming of his camaro.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
And I had this epiphany while I was looking at
this photo.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
You go to these places and it's like he was
just there.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
You know, you toss in some kind of weird sign
spatchelor or something like that, or you know there's a
menu item like kangaroo sauce, nacho bomb, and that's the
full guy theory experience. So this was a local burger
joint out in the Palm Springs area and my wife
found I don't know whether it's up to me.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I eat it raising canes every time.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
But she's like, hey, let's let's find a restaurant, what
kind of food as let's get burgers.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
So she goes on Yelp. She loves Yelp.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I try to tell her, I said, listen, Yelp's fine,
but a lot of those reviews are bullshit, and but she's.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Like, oh, this is well reviewed, So she goes on there.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
She's flutzing around on Yelp, and this is not a
food network pilgrimage. She didn't type in Food Network, diners,
dive ins and drives. She didn't type any of that in.
She just typed in burger places on Yelp, and this
place came up. And if she typed in diners, drive
ins and dives, I'd be like, okay, that she typed
it into Google Maps or something. This wasn't that right.
(08:43):
It wasn't you know, eat prey love with extra aoli. Regardless,
it didn't matter. So Guy was already there, and he's
always there, and that's the point.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
That's the point. I mean, I did not.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Ask for Guy Fieri to be staring at me as
I walked into this restaurant. I didn't look for Guy Fiery,
but somehow he always is there.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
He finds me. And it's the same old thing.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
You walk into a diner off some dusty highway in
some place you're not normally.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
At, and bam, bam bam, there is God. And this
is not an exaggeration.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
The reason I'm bringing this up full disclosure, it's not
just because of a one off at some burger joint
in Palm Springs. But this is the fifth or sixth
time in my travels in recent years that I have
randomly sashade wandered into some restaurant I had never been
to before, only to be greeted by the mayor of
Flavortown right there. Now, One, you say, Okay, that's it,
(09:45):
that's fine. Two maybe that's a coincidence, but keeps happening.
It's like I'm getting getting photo bombed by a cartoon ghost.
And he's not like stalking me, He's just there. And
it is like he's the culinary version of the Virgin
Mary appearing on toast. You see those stories every so often, right,
or Jesus or something like that. Only this, this is
(10:08):
with frosted tips and the wristbands and all that, which
raises the obvious question, what the hell is going on?
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Right?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
What the f is going on now? Guy Fieri. At
some point in the last decade, and maybe it's been
longer than that, I just feel like it's been the
last decade, he went from being a guy that was
goofed on a late night punchline to a full blown
spiritual symbol. Now not in a religious sense, I don't
(10:37):
upset you, and not in a religious sense, more so
in the sense that when you walk into a mom
and pop eatery and you see that framed Guy Fiery photo.
You're experiencing something to the point now where I'm starting
to wonder if these mom and pop restaurants it's part
(10:58):
of the starter kit where when you're starting the restaurant,
just to make it seem like you got street cred,
you buy a photo of Guy Fieri with some chef
and you just pretend like it's in the back of
your kitchen.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
But there it is.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Right. If Guy Fieri's face and a restaurant, it is
like some kind of secular blessing, like a neon open
sign to let you know it's okay, this is a
safe space for your stomach. And it says this place
may not pass the health inspection, but.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
It is going to slap good. It is going to
be good.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
It's not really the fame anymore. It's a mythological thing.
And so I've determined that Guy Fieri when it comes
to mom and pop restaurants is Buddha. He's Buddha with
Oakley's right, He's back in the day. I loved Anthony Bourdain.
I loved his take on restaurants and the way that
he yapped and the voiceovers and all that. But it's
like Guy Fieri is now Anthony Bourdain and technicolor, and
(11:52):
he is. What happens when you take out that old
food pyramid and you put a hype man right now,
It like that's the hype man, and people talk about, hey,
you got to support local businesses, and I grew. I
believe that's important, right, that's important, and I tried to
do that. I try to avoid when I'm traveling, uh,
(12:15):
and I actually commit to that life as much as
I can, and I try to avoid the Applebee's and
the Cheesecake Factory and the Olive Garden and all those place.
It's not that I don't enjoy the food there. I
used to eat a cheesecat factory all the time.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
And you know all.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
The places that have the big calorie counts on the
menu because they are big, corporately run restaurants. So once
you commit to going away from those places, you begin
to notice what I call the fiery effect.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
It just appears.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
And it's not just the photo on the wall in
these mom and pop joints. It's like the whole zeitgeist.
Like the portions are always usually supersized, like the good
old days at McDonald's back in the day. They've got
some funky sauce that the foodies love. There's a weird cocktail.
(13:08):
They threw a holapano in there. Nobody knows why.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
They just did it.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
And there's an eighty four percent chance that the server
will be wearing a shirt with some kind of flying
pig or a flame on it. And it always goes
back to the Buddha, right, the Buddha with Oakleys. The
man is omnipresent, so he's not necessarily following you. He
has become you, at least the culinary aspect. And I
(13:36):
used to think it was.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
A wack adoodle, right, wackadoodle, But he's omnipresent. Like, how
is Guy?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Everywhere I go again, and everywhere I'm obviously embellishing a bit.
I had that moment that he is and this is
really the other thing here. When I kept seeing Guy
the breaking point, the tipping point was last weekend. But
Guy Fieri is like one of the final unifying mascots
(14:09):
we have in America now. When I was a kid
back in my day, and I grew up watching Haul Cogan,
but I also had in these things called magazines a
lot of advertisements with Joe Cammell and the Marble Man,
and they're gone, right, you don't see a lot of
the Marble Man. You don't see Joe Campbell. Now we
have Guy. It's like post all that. It's you know,
(14:33):
the thing that made him easy to mock back in
the day, the flames, the hokey, corny catchphrases, the diners
drenched in the devil's blood of ranch dressing. Now that
is what has become his signature and is universally loved.
And you don't need to know who the national is to,
(14:56):
you know, enjoy the triple stacked French to stuffed with
blueberries and cheesecake and all this other. But Guy speaks
to to the fact that restaurants they feel like they
need that as a street credit.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I said earlier, like.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
They need that a guys provide street because, like they
were legit. He's the rubber stamp, the you know, in
sports memorabilia, you got to get something authenticated. He's the
authenticator for a generation, you know. And then you know,
we talking about Michelin Star restaurants and all that, but
you know, I don't necessarily want to go to those places.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
But he will.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
You can absolutely trust some dude who used to work
at a restaurant.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
You know, he's a barely.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Got out of school from northern California, Nor cal the
bleach blonde dude yelling this is money, this is money,
and uh, you know, the riding off into the sunset.
So maybe it's not a coincidce. I don't think it's
a coincidence, Like maybe guy Fiery is just what ends
up happening when you're on the journey. And I'm not
(16:03):
talking about some fake social media sojourn. We're talking about
the real sweaty you know, melting pot road trip that
involves stopping somewhere.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
That you didn't really plan on.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
And they might have an elk burger on the menu,
smothered and ghost pepper aolie.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I don't even know what that is.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
And there he is, you know, he's not working as
the chef. Is he a celebrity?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Well not in this case.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
He's just not even a real person at this point. Again,
he is smiling the kitchen Buddha. He's there.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
He's saying, welcome, you found it. The food is good here,
It's okay.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Yes, Now, one thing that was not on the menu
at this burger place was the Malar meatball. But we
turned the page because I would like to remind you
some of the highlights of the week.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Here we mentioned the Hull cogan. That not a highlight.
Doing a eulogy. It's like the old Casey Kasem thing.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
I'm sick and tied coming out of an upbeat song,
and I got to do a dog death dedication. You
know all that, But watch out for the algorithm army.
Another reminder this week now, if you listen to the
Overnight Show, and God bless you if you do, and
you probably do. Most people, very rarely do I get
an email. You know, I don't never hear your Overnight show,
but I hear that fifth hour podcast.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
I don't get a lot of that.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
So we do twenty hours of original audio content on
the show. Mallard monologues. Each hour starts with the Malar monologue. Now,
typically each one covers not one, not two, but three stories. Right,
that is roughly sixty topics covered on live radio six
(17:45):
hundred plus stations. That's the math, right, So all of
the week's work, the one that launched all of the
things I talked about, the one that launched the biggest uprising.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
You know what it was.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
It was not the Malleur pluse. I will have the
Mallard pluza postgame though later this weekend. We like to
learn all the affiliates down line. The malod Palooza postgame
coming up down line. But take a guess what do
you think costs the biggest uprising?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Ding?
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Ding ding ning?
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yes, the spicy.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Margherita Mallard monologue, the late night soliloquy on Hail to
the red Skins, Hail to Victry. Yes, the Redskins and
the Cleveland Indians nickname monologue did that, and suddenly I
had a bullseye on my chest. Public Anime number one,
(18:36):
I mentioned President Donald J. Trump supporting the return of
those old sporty nicknames that were canceled in the crazy
COVID hayze of the twenty twenty period and all that.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
So I ended up.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
With the pitchfork wokester p one charging I don't think
they're p ones, but they were. They were charging at
me like I had just pulled the fire alarm during
their nap time over at NPR headquarters. And why because
I dare say something they did not like? And More importantly,
(19:13):
I believe this to be true. The algorithm told them
not to like it, and now let's not kid ourselves, right,
every man, woman and child knows that I don't believe
this was like totally on the up and up, and
I didn't talk about it on the air too much
because I didn't want to give them the satisfaction that
what they were getting. Really a lot of the trolls
(19:36):
just want the reaction, So if I don't bring it up,
you know, fine. Sometimes I like to engage dumb people
like astro fans, Ehstros. But this was digital attempted, digital stoning, stoning.
You could feel it happening in real time. A lot
of us was email also, so the second the mal
monologue hit the airwas I say, hit the airways. I'm
talking about the rebroadcast and repackaging on the different social
(19:59):
media is like.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
YouTube or whatever.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
The algorithm was then activated like some kind of weird
trapdoor beneath the gas bag headquarters, and boom, bam, bang,
out came the box. That's right, like Transformers, more than
meets the eye, or in this case, more than meets
the ear. So the I'm talking about the paid blue
check mark wannabes. Also that used to mean something if
(20:24):
he had a blue check mark.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Not anymore. The the buzzword brigadiers.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Screaming, You're just a Malor Mallor meatball is all you are.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
That's why you're doing the overnight show. You know, all
the usual nonsense.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
If you were any good, you'd be on during today.
Uh And but the Malor meatball one.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
One one dude. I don't even know where the guy
was from. I can assume, but I.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Think he is from Boston and might might or might
based on his email and I might have looked him up.
May have gone to an Ivy League school in the
Boston area. Anyway, the guy was very upset with me.
You just to malor me, you know, the meatball while
you're on a night And I was like, Malor meatball,
that sounds delicious. We got to get a Mallard meatball
on the menu. We have the Ben Mallard chicken fingers
(21:08):
at the Landing in Liberty, Missouri. We have the Ben
Maller chicken sandwich at the Sportsbook Bar and Grill in Denver,
but not the Malar meatball. How about an oversized giant
meatball with an not spaghetti Feticini. How about that who
says no, malar meatball covered in marinera but surrounded by fetichini,
(21:29):
Alfredo with the Alfredo sauce chef's kiss, who says no,
he contacted me. Let's do it, malar meatball. I'm in
come on anyway. So back to the story. So I decided, okay, fine,
let's play ball. And again, this is a one on
one situation. So what was my response to this guy
who called me a malar meatball?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
That's why you're on an overnights dude.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
I pointed out that what I do is an opinion
based show.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
And while it is true I'm on in.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
The middle of the night, the fact that you valued
my opinion so much you spent time to track down
how to contact me, I'm honored by because I have
no idea who you are, and I would have had
no contact with you if you hadn't reached out to me.
And then I said, listen again, it's opinion based. I
gave my opinion. Then I asked, what exactly did I
say that was wrong? It's always a tough question. Their
(22:17):
response was pretty much radio silence. Crickets, you know nothing
real nothing tangible. Instead with this guy, this one guy
in particular, sent was a copy and paste. It seemed
like he had sent it to other people links from
like a New York Times opinion page article, and there
was something else.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I go back to NPR.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
It was like some kind of NPR thing about this,
And so listen, here's the truth.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
The Outgo Rhythm Warriors.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
They don't really want to admit that they're locked in
in their dogma. Everything's political, right, mascots are political, and
this is more evidence of that. But the mere mention
of a story that was in the news cycle because
the President of the United States talked about it, and
we're a sports show and it tied in, the mere
(23:06):
mention of team nicknames sends certain people into full death
con one meltdown, right meltdown. It's no longer you know
context or your opinion. We can agree to disagree. It's
been it han't been less way in years. Right, it's
not new, but it's about.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Enforcing your worldview. And it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
They don't even know who I am, you know, but
yet they want to take shots and over even an
adopey overnight sports radio show. And if I'm someone they
agree with, and I had said the thing they like,
then I would have been nominated for a Nobel prize.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Right. But if somebody like me says, hey, you know
they didn't. You know you said the wrong thing. You know,
I'm a maul or meatball, burn the radio tower down. Now.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Look, I'm not here to be the advocate for the
Redskins of the Indies. I'm merely pointing out the information
I have that the fans in Cleveland, the fans in Washington,
the real customers of those teams want those nicknames back,
that the uprising was greatly embellished by the algorithms, the
bots and all that stuff, and most people don't give
(24:18):
a crap, and most people look at mascots as an honor,
not a shameful thing. But anyway, listen, I mean, I
get it. I'm here to talk sports occasionally. Part of
the job is you have to ruffle feathers. It goes
with the territory. But from time to time, when you
speak some truth right, you end up not passing the
(24:39):
NPR sniff test. Now, I'm always amazed, like, we have
a diverse audience. We have a lot of people from
different backgrounds, and the great thing. I love Jonathan and
Delaware sent me an email the other day and I
love Jonathan's been with the show a long time.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I love the guy. He's great. Hope to meet him someday.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
And Jonathan like he gets the show. He's like, listen,
he said, this is the thing I like about the show.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Jonathan. I'm paraphrasing this, but he says, You've.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Always been the guy that it doesn't matter your background,
whether you're you know, gay, transgender, you're a pig, you're
a deviant, whatever, You're a criminal, you're a crackhead, you're
a meth head, whatever, Hello Jed who fled like all
that stuff, raging alcoholic.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
You're all welcome.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
You're all welcome, right, And as Jonathan was pointing out,
I was like, you know, we just accept people for
who they are. But with one rule, we bust balls,
we bust chops. That's kind of how it works, right.
We're sarcastic, we bust each other's weaknesses, whatever that might be.
And so I'm not sitting here reading press releases from
(25:46):
activist groups or corporations pretending to care about things they
ignored for decades. I'm not That's not my jam man,
I'm not. I just try to get through the day.
I worry about that, you know, old John woodenline, win
the day right, make every day your masterpiece, and that's
my goal.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
And then when I'm done with the show, I put
the show to bed and I move on. And then
people react and they get all worked up.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
And you know, if you're honest, like the outrage on
this is not again, it's not organic.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
It's like prepackage.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
It's like Marcel eating a Celeste pizza, a frozen pizza.
The people who claim to have been offended, we're not
even listening until the offendo meter lit up on their feed.
And again, I just to double down. They don't know
the show, they don't know who I am. They have
no idea who I am. They don't care. It's just
that's backstory, the Mama Luke's. They saw something, you know,
(26:41):
some kind of sign and they leapt into action, and
it's about, you know, I have moral superiority to you,
and I'm going to tell you you're wrong, and it's
performative outrage.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
And just listen. If you disagree, that's fine. I mean,
who knows, you could be wrong.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
I could be wrong, but spurry the lecture, right, and
I don't need the hyperlinks.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
You know, it's fine. I'm good. I don't need that.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
And you know, I kind of like the fact that
you called me a malar meatball. And hopefully that will
inspire some restaurant that I don't even know of that
I'll learn of to put the malar meatball oversized jumbo
sized malar meatball with fetichini on the side, and then
a big helping of garlic bread yum yum to my
(27:27):
tomb tumb who says no?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Who says no? All right, time now for the phrase
of the week.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
That's right, I know it's exciting, the phrase of the week.
So here's the phrase of the week. So the phrase
is flash in the pan. Now it originates from believe
it or not, not cooking, not sports, from military. So
(27:56):
many of these phrases start in the military. A lot
of veterans, a lot of active duty military help. My
son is in the Marines right now, is in Camp Pendleton.
But this is another one of those things that starts
out in the military. Flash in the pan. It originated
(28:16):
in early firearms. Now specifically they say the flint lock musket.
So we're going back to the musket in the seventeenth
and eighteenth centuries, the flintlock musket had a small pan,
according to my research, and it held this thing called gunpowder,
and when the trigger was pulled on the flint lock musket,
(28:39):
when you pulled it, the flint would struck. It struck
to produce a spark. There was a little spark there.
It ignited the powder in the pan. And apparently sometimes
the powder in the pan would flash and the main
charge in the barrel would not ignite, resulting in yes,
(29:00):
wait for it, a flash in the pan, but no
real musket shot. And over time, as all great metaphors,
over time a flash in the pan came to mean
something that initially showed great promise like shooting a musket
or excitement, but failed to deliver, failed to live up
(29:22):
to the expectation. So brief, intense moment of success, but
fizzled out quickly. And that is what we have used
in sports. Someone starts out their career and they're like, oh, man,
that players like Paul Skins.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
I give Paul Skins of the Pirates great electric Is
he going to keep doing that? Who knows?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
He won't If he doesn't, it'll be a flash in
the pan. All right, we'll get out on that. I
will have the malord Palooza post game. We're gonna save
that for the Saturday podcast. And I've got some other
things planned as well, but we'll get to that. Danny
g should join me on that.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
We'll have new pods all weekend long.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
If you want to send something into the mail bag,
do it right now, send it in care of the
Real Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. The Real
Fifth Hour at gmail dot com, and your comments can
and we'll be.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Used on future editions of the show.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
So anyway, I have a great Friday, and hopefully nobody
famous that was a hero in my youth will die today.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
I'm good with the Haulkster. Well I'm not good with
him dying, but you get the point. All right.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Well, we'll talk to you next time later, Skater, who
asta pasta got a murder?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
I gotta go.
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the Clearinghouse
of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
The air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mallor
and Danny g Radio and a very happy Friday to you.
We have made it to the end of the road,
which is never really the end of the road, because
when you do the radio show during the week and
you've got the podcast on the weekends, it never ends.
It never ever ends. But we are back at it
here on this Friday morning, celebrating National Merry Go Round Day.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
We It's National Merry Go Round Day, So listen.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I used to love merry go rounds when I was
a kid. I rotate nuts.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
How dare you? I'm an adult. I haven't been on
one in a long time.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
I did love, though, I fell down another rabbit hole
when I see these dopey holidays that get my attention.
I'm like, hey, I want to know more about the
merry go round. So then I started doing some research
and you start typing some things in and some other
things come up, and you keep going and going and
going and going. The earliest known carousels five hundred a d.
But it was really the Middle Ages, the beginning of
(01:32):
the modern I say modern, it's crazy to say that,
but the medieval period is when the merry go round
as we know it first popped up. And it was soldiers,
medieval soldiers who would compete in this game. It was
a version of the current carousel ride to train for
jousting tournaments. And they believe that's one of the reasons
(01:55):
most carousels have horses on them, as a homage.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
To me evol times and the jousting.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
And then the next big period of time was one
hundreds of years later. In the Industrial Revolution, the mass
production of heavy machinery used in merrygo rounds became possible
and so the carousels were more available. We couldn't really
do that before there were a little small things. And
then right around eighteen hundred, the first known carousel ride
(02:26):
in America, and it was operated in Salem, Massachusetts, the
Salem Witch Trials famous there it was called the Wooden
Horse Circus Ride and that was in actually seventeen ninety nine.
And then later on in the eighteen hundreds, the mass
migration to America from Europe. Immigrants from Europe European countries
(02:51):
began to put carousels everywhere.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
They loved carousels, probably it was big.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
In Europe, and so they came to America and they
were like, hey, this is what we got to check
it out and people were into it.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
So that's I think that's all I have. I think
that's that's all I have.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
The first carousel patented was by William Schneider from Davenport, Iowa,
and that was considered the first modern modern caressel.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
That was in eighteen seventy one. So there you go.
That's that's enough. We're good on that.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
So on this podcast, we've got a Melancholie Maler Marlborough
Man Malar meatball and if we have time, the phrase
of the week, but we begin with this and it's
Melancholy Maler. Last night, if you were listening, we did
a special homage, a eulogy to a legend who was
(03:41):
not someone that had wins and losses, not real wins
and losses. There was somebody that wrote who won and
who lost? But a cultural icon if you're of a
certain age. I was a hall comaniac because I talked
about last night, Halt Cogan seemed through the eyes of
a child like he was one of the cartoon characters
I would watch on Saturday morning when I was a
(04:03):
little kid, and all we had was Saturday Morning cartoons
because we lived in the dark ages, and I would
watch he Man or some of these other superheroes, Captain America,
you know, comic books. I'd look at those different things,
and then you saw, like haul kose won, this guy
looks like a real life superhero, Like this is legit,
these comics, that's real life. And I was like, this
must be based on real life. And Hulk Hogan. And
(04:25):
then every as I talked about in the monologue last night,
everything Hulk Hogan, I was in on some of my finest,
fondest memories through the eyes of a child. Okay, through
the eyes of a child, listen. I yeah, you don't know.
At that time, when I was a kid, they had
not revealed that wrestling was fake we were so stupid,
(04:46):
were like, looks legit, you know, Andre the Giant taking
on hul Cogan and Macho Man, Randy Savage and all
these wild characters, right, wild characters.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
And so.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Rest in peace, the hall Coger and I did see
some stuff, people trying to urinate all over the holster
and all that stuff. And listen, he was not perfect.
No one's perfect. And hall Cogan, though it touched a
lot of lives and was one of the most famous
people in the United States.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Of America when I was a kid.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
He was I think of when I was a kid,
who were the most famous people? And hal Cogan is,
I don't do a list. I'm not doing a list
Terry in England. But I'm just telling you it's my
big board, haul Cogan, as I've talked about, on that
big board.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
So turning the page on that story time.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Storytime on the fifth hour with me, Ben Mahler and
Danny g who is producing this podcast and will hopefully
joined me at some point this weekend, But we flashed
back to a recent journey to the face of the Sun.
So last weekend, the malordmobile was loaded up. We went
to Rancho Mirage in the californ You desert, because why not.
(06:02):
It's one hundred and fifteen degrees. Why would you not
go there. It's the kind of heat that makes you
question whether you're actually a human being or just a
soft boiled egg. So we went out there to enjoy
the nice heat and those beautiful luxury pools they have,
and they were nice, tepid bathwater, lukewarm, wonderful, had a
(06:22):
lazy river barely moving, just floating along there in the sun,
baking like you're in a rotisserie. And it was just
a nice weekend, a really more of a day than anything.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Because you gotta do this podcast, but just.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
A day to kind of unwine and unplugged for a
little bit and try not to die from the atmospheric pressure.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Mind you, it is not global warming. It's called summer.
It happens every year. And yet there I was, there
I was, and there he was? And who is he?
You ask, what are your pronoun who is he?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Well?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
That guy or go the guy guy fiery in the kitchen, now,
mind you, not the actual guy. Of course, I'm talking
about a glossy eight by ten of him mid bite,
or maybe he was laughing. I don't know, sunglasses lowered,
the look, the smile like he had just heard the
(07:21):
punchline to a joke that involves some kind of bacon
and bourbon, and he.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Was dreaming of his camaro.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
And I had this epiphany while I was looking at
this photo.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
You go to these places and it's like he was
just there.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
You know, you toss in some kind of weird sign
spatchelor or something like that, or you know there's a
menu item like kangaroo sauce, nacho bomb, and that's the
full guy theory experience. So this was a local burger
joint out in the Palm Springs area and my wife
found I don't know whether it's up to me.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I eat it raising canes every time.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
But she's like, hey, let's let's find a restaurant, what
kind of food as let's get burgers.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
So she goes on Yelp. She loves Yelp.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I try to tell her, I said, listen, Yelp's fine,
but a lot of those reviews are bullshit, and but she's.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Like, oh, this is well reviewed, So she goes on there.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
She's flutzing around on Yelp, and this is not a
food network pilgrimage. She didn't type in Food Network, diners,
dive ins and drives. She didn't type any of that in.
She just typed in burger places on Yelp, and this
place came up. And if she typed in diners, drive
ins and dives, I'd be like, okay, that she typed
it into Google Maps or something. This wasn't that right.
(08:43):
It wasn't you know, eat prey love with extra aoli. Regardless,
it didn't matter. So Guy was already there, and he's
always there, and that's the point.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
That's the point. I mean, I did not.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Ask for Guy Fieri to be staring at me as
I walked into this restaurant. I didn't look for Guy Fiery,
but somehow he always is there.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
He finds me. And it's the same old thing.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
You walk into a diner off some dusty highway in
some place you're not normally.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
At, and bam, bam bam, there is God. And this
is not an exaggeration.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
The reason I'm bringing this up full disclosure, it's not
just because of a one off at some burger joint
in Palm Springs. But this is the fifth or sixth
time in my travels in recent years that I have
randomly sashade wandered into some restaurant I had never been
to before, only to be greeted by the mayor of
Flavortown right there. Now, One, you say, Okay, that's it,
(09:45):
that's fine. Two maybe that's a coincidence, but keeps happening.
It's like I'm getting getting photo bombed by a cartoon ghost.
And he's not like stalking me, He's just there. And
it is like he's the culinary version of the Virgin
Mary appearing on toast. You see those stories every so often, right,
or Jesus or something like that. Only this, this is
(10:08):
with frosted tips and the wristbands and all that, which
raises the obvious question, what the hell is going on?
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Right?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
What the f is going on now? Guy Fieri. At
some point in the last decade, and maybe it's been
longer than that, I just feel like it's been the
last decade, he went from being a guy that was
goofed on a late night punchline to a full blown
spiritual symbol. Now not in a religious sense, I don't
(10:37):
upset you, and not in a religious sense, more so
in the sense that when you walk into a mom
and pop eatery and you see that framed Guy Fiery photo.
You're experiencing something to the point now where I'm starting
to wonder if these mom and pop restaurants it's part
(10:58):
of the starter kit where when you're starting the restaurant,
just to make it seem like you got street cred,
you buy a photo of Guy Fieri with some chef
and you just pretend like it's in the back of
your kitchen.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
But there it is.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Right. If Guy Fieri's face and a restaurant, it is
like some kind of secular blessing, like a neon open
sign to let you know it's okay, this is a
safe space for your stomach. And it says this place
may not pass the health inspection, but.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
It is going to slap good. It is going to
be good.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
It's not really the fame anymore. It's a mythological thing.
And so I've determined that Guy Fieri when it comes
to mom and pop restaurants is Buddha. He's Buddha with
Oakley's right, He's back in the day. I loved Anthony Bourdain.
I loved his take on restaurants and the way that
he yapped and the voiceovers and all that. But it's
like Guy Fieri is now Anthony Bourdain and technicolor, and
(11:52):
he is. What happens when you take out that old
food pyramid and you put a hype man right now,
It like that's the hype man, and people talk about, hey,
you got to support local businesses, and I grew. I
believe that's important, right, that's important, and I tried to
do that. I try to avoid when I'm traveling, uh,
(12:15):
and I actually commit to that life as much as
I can, and I try to avoid the Applebee's and
the Cheesecake Factory and the Olive Garden and all those place.
It's not that I don't enjoy the food there. I
used to eat a cheesecat factory all the time.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
And you know all.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
The places that have the big calorie counts on the
menu because they are big, corporately run restaurants. So once
you commit to going away from those places, you begin
to notice what I call the fiery effect.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
It just appears.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
And it's not just the photo on the wall in
these mom and pop joints. It's like the whole zeitgeist.
Like the portions are always usually supersized, like the good
old days at McDonald's back in the day. They've got
some funky sauce that the foodies love. There's a weird cocktail.
(13:08):
They threw a holapano in there. Nobody knows why.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
They just did it.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
And there's an eighty four percent chance that the server
will be wearing a shirt with some kind of flying
pig or a flame on it. And it always goes
back to the Buddha, right, the Buddha with Oakleys. The
man is omnipresent, so he's not necessarily following you. He
has become you, at least the culinary aspect. And I
(13:36):
used to think it was.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
A wack adoodle, right, wackadoodle, But he's omnipresent. Like, how
is Guy?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Everywhere I go again, and everywhere I'm obviously embellishing a bit.
I had that moment that he is and this is
really the other thing here. When I kept seeing Guy
the breaking point, the tipping point was last weekend. But
Guy Fieri is like one of the final unifying mascots
(14:09):
we have in America now. When I was a kid
back in my day, and I grew up watching Haul Cogan,
but I also had in these things called magazines a
lot of advertisements with Joe Cammell and the Marble Man,
and they're gone, right, you don't see a lot of
the Marble Man. You don't see Joe Campbell. Now we
have Guy. It's like post all that. It's you know,
(14:33):
the thing that made him easy to mock back in
the day, the flames, the hokey, corny catchphrases, the diners
drenched in the devil's blood of ranch dressing. Now that
is what has become his signature and is universally loved.
And you don't need to know who the national is to,
(14:56):
you know, enjoy the triple stacked French to stuffed with
blueberries and cheesecake and all this other. But Guy speaks
to to the fact that restaurants they feel like they
need that as a street credit.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I said earlier, like.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
They need that a guys provide street because, like they
were legit. He's the rubber stamp, the you know, in
sports memorabilia, you got to get something authenticated. He's the
authenticator for a generation, you know. And then you know,
we talking about Michelin Star restaurants and all that, but
you know, I don't necessarily want to go to those places.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
But he will.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
You can absolutely trust some dude who used to work
at a restaurant.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
You know, he's a barely.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Got out of school from northern California, Nor cal the
bleach blonde dude yelling this is money, this is money,
and uh, you know, the riding off into the sunset.
So maybe it's not a coincidce. I don't think it's
a coincidence, Like maybe guy Fiery is just what ends
up happening when you're on the journey. And I'm not
(16:03):
talking about some fake social media sojourn. We're talking about
the real sweaty you know, melting pot road trip that
involves stopping somewhere.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
That you didn't really plan on.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
And they might have an elk burger on the menu,
smothered and ghost pepper aolie.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I don't even know what that is.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
And there he is, you know, he's not working as
the chef. Is he a celebrity?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Well not in this case.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
He's just not even a real person at this point. Again,
he is smiling the kitchen Buddha. He's there.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
He's saying, welcome, you found it. The food is good here,
It's okay.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Yes, Now, one thing that was not on the menu
at this burger place was the Malar meatball. But we
turned the page because I would like to remind you
some of the highlights of the week.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Here we mentioned the Hull cogan. That not a highlight.
Doing a eulogy. It's like the old Casey Kasem thing.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
I'm sick and tied coming out of an upbeat song,
and I got to do a dog death dedication. You
know all that, But watch out for the algorithm army.
Another reminder this week now, if you listen to the
Overnight Show, and God bless you if you do, and
you probably do. Most people, very rarely do I get
an email. You know, I don't never hear your Overnight show,
but I hear that fifth hour podcast.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
I don't get a lot of that.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
So we do twenty hours of original audio content on
the show. Mallard monologues. Each hour starts with the Malar monologue. Now,
typically each one covers not one, not two, but three stories. Right,
that is roughly sixty topics covered on live radio six
(17:45):
hundred plus stations. That's the math, right, So all of
the week's work, the one that launched all of the
things I talked about, the one that launched the biggest uprising.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
You know what it was.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
It was not the Malleur pluse. I will have the
Mallard pluza postgame though later this weekend. We like to
learn all the affiliates down line. The malod Palooza postgame
coming up down line. But take a guess what do
you think costs the biggest uprising?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Ding?
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Ding ding ning?
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yes, the spicy.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Margherita Mallard monologue, the late night soliloquy on Hail to
the red Skins, Hail to Victry. Yes, the Redskins and
the Cleveland Indians nickname monologue did that, and suddenly I
had a bullseye on my chest. Public Anime number one,
(18:36):
I mentioned President Donald J. Trump supporting the return of
those old sporty nicknames that were canceled in the crazy
COVID hayze of the twenty twenty period and all that.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
So I ended up.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
With the pitchfork wokester p one charging I don't think
they're p ones, but they were. They were charging at
me like I had just pulled the fire alarm during
their nap time over at NPR headquarters. And why because
I dare say something they did not like? And More importantly,
(19:13):
I believe this to be true. The algorithm told them
not to like it, and now let's not kid ourselves, right,
every man, woman and child knows that I don't believe
this was like totally on the up and up, and
I didn't talk about it on the air too much
because I didn't want to give them the satisfaction that
what they were getting. Really a lot of the trolls
(19:36):
just want the reaction, So if I don't bring it up,
you know, fine. Sometimes I like to engage dumb people
like astro fans, Ehstros. But this was digital attempted, digital stoning, stoning.
You could feel it happening in real time. A lot
of us was email also, so the second the mal
monologue hit the airwas I say, hit the airways. I'm
talking about the rebroadcast and repackaging on the different social
(19:59):
media is like.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
YouTube or whatever.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
The algorithm was then activated like some kind of weird
trapdoor beneath the gas bag headquarters, and boom, bam, bang,
out came the box. That's right, like Transformers, more than
meets the eye, or in this case, more than meets
the ear. So the I'm talking about the paid blue
check mark wannabes. Also that used to mean something if
(20:24):
he had a blue check mark.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Not anymore. The the buzzword brigadiers.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Screaming, You're just a Malor Mallor meatball is all you are.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
That's why you're doing the overnight show. You know, all
the usual nonsense.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
If you were any good, you'd be on during today.
Uh And but the Malor meatball one.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
One one dude. I don't even know where the guy
was from. I can assume, but I.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Think he is from Boston and might might or might
based on his email and I might have looked him up.
May have gone to an Ivy League school in the
Boston area. Anyway, the guy was very upset with me.
You just to malor me, you know, the meatball while
you're on a night And I was like, Malor meatball,
that sounds delicious. We got to get a Mallard meatball
on the menu. We have the Ben Mallard chicken fingers
(21:08):
at the Landing in Liberty, Missouri. We have the Ben
Maller chicken sandwich at the Sportsbook Bar and Grill in Denver,
but not the Malar meatball. How about an oversized giant
meatball with an not spaghetti Feticini. How about that who
says no, malar meatball covered in marinera but surrounded by fetichini,
(21:29):
Alfredo with the Alfredo sauce chef's kiss, who says no,
he contacted me. Let's do it, malar meatball. I'm in
come on anyway. So back to the story. So I decided, okay, fine,
let's play ball. And again, this is a one on
one situation. So what was my response to this guy
who called me a malar meatball?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
That's why you're on an overnights dude.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
I pointed out that what I do is an opinion
based show.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
And while it is true I'm on in.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
The middle of the night, the fact that you valued
my opinion so much you spent time to track down
how to contact me, I'm honored by because I have
no idea who you are, and I would have had
no contact with you if you hadn't reached out to me.
And then I said, listen again, it's opinion based. I
gave my opinion. Then I asked, what exactly did I
say that was wrong? It's always a tough question. Their
(22:17):
response was pretty much radio silence. Crickets, you know nothing
real nothing tangible. Instead with this guy, this one guy
in particular, sent was a copy and paste. It seemed
like he had sent it to other people links from
like a New York Times opinion page article, and there
was something else.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I go back to NPR.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
It was like some kind of NPR thing about this,
And so listen, here's the truth.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
The Outgo Rhythm Warriors.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
They don't really want to admit that they're locked in
in their dogma. Everything's political, right, mascots are political, and
this is more evidence of that. But the mere mention
of a story that was in the news cycle because
the President of the United States talked about it, and
we're a sports show and it tied in, the mere
(23:06):
mention of team nicknames sends certain people into full death
con one meltdown, right meltdown. It's no longer you know
context or your opinion. We can agree to disagree. It's
been it han't been less way in years. Right, it's
not new, but it's about.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Enforcing your worldview. And it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
They don't even know who I am, you know, but
yet they want to take shots and over even an
adopey overnight sports radio show. And if I'm someone they
agree with, and I had said the thing they like,
then I would have been nominated for a Nobel prize.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Right. But if somebody like me says, hey, you know
they didn't. You know you said the wrong thing. You know,
I'm a maul or meatball, burn the radio tower down. Now.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Look, I'm not here to be the advocate for the
Redskins of the Indies. I'm merely pointing out the information
I have that the fans in Cleveland, the fans in Washington,
the real customers of those teams want those nicknames back,
that the uprising was greatly embellished by the algorithms, the
bots and all that stuff, and most people don't give
(24:18):
a crap, and most people look at mascots as an honor,
not a shameful thing. But anyway, listen, I mean, I
get it. I'm here to talk sports occasionally. Part of
the job is you have to ruffle feathers. It goes
with the territory. But from time to time, when you
speak some truth right, you end up not passing the
(24:39):
NPR sniff test. Now, I'm always amazed, like, we have
a diverse audience. We have a lot of people from
different backgrounds, and the great thing. I love Jonathan and
Delaware sent me an email the other day and I
love Jonathan's been with the show a long time.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I love the guy. He's great. Hope to meet him someday.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
And Jonathan like he gets the show. He's like, listen,
he said, this is the thing I like about the show.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Jonathan. I'm paraphrasing this, but he says, You've.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Always been the guy that it doesn't matter your background,
whether you're you know, gay, transgender, you're a pig, you're
a deviant, whatever, You're a criminal, you're a crackhead, you're
a meth head, whatever, Hello Jed who fled like all
that stuff, raging alcoholic.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
You're all welcome.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
You're all welcome, right, And as Jonathan was pointing out,
I was like, you know, we just accept people for
who they are. But with one rule, we bust balls,
we bust chops. That's kind of how it works, right.
We're sarcastic, we bust each other's weaknesses, whatever that might be.
And so I'm not sitting here reading press releases from
(25:46):
activist groups or corporations pretending to care about things they
ignored for decades. I'm not That's not my jam man,
I'm not. I just try to get through the day.
I worry about that, you know, old John woodenline, win
the day right, make every day your masterpiece, and that's
my goal.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
And then when I'm done with the show, I put
the show to bed and I move on. And then
people react and they get all worked up.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
And you know, if you're honest, like the outrage on
this is not again, it's not organic.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
It's like prepackage.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
It's like Marcel eating a Celeste pizza, a frozen pizza.
The people who claim to have been offended, we're not
even listening until the offendo meter lit up on their feed.
And again, I just to double down. They don't know
the show, they don't know who I am. They have
no idea who I am. They don't care. It's just
that's backstory, the Mama Luke's. They saw something, you know,
(26:41):
some kind of sign and they leapt into action, and
it's about, you know, I have moral superiority to you,
and I'm going to tell you you're wrong, and it's
performative outrage.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
And just listen. If you disagree, that's fine. I mean,
who knows, you could be wrong.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
I could be wrong, but spurry the lecture, right, and
I don't need the hyperlinks.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
You know, it's fine. I'm good. I don't need that.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
And you know, I kind of like the fact that
you called me a malar meatball. And hopefully that will
inspire some restaurant that I don't even know of that
I'll learn of to put the malar meatball oversized jumbo
sized malar meatball with fetichini on the side, and then
a big helping of garlic bread yum yum to my
(27:27):
tomb tumb who says no?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Who says no? All right, time now for the phrase
of the week.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
That's right, I know it's exciting, the phrase of the week.
So here's the phrase of the week. So the phrase
is flash in the pan. Now it originates from believe
it or not, not cooking, not sports, from military. So
(27:56):
many of these phrases start in the military. A lot
of veterans, a lot of active duty military help. My
son is in the Marines right now, is in Camp Pendleton.
But this is another one of those things that starts
out in the military. Flash in the pan. It originated
(28:16):
in early firearms. Now specifically they say the flint lock musket.
So we're going back to the musket in the seventeenth
and eighteenth centuries, the flintlock musket had a small pan,
according to my research, and it held this thing called gunpowder,
and when the trigger was pulled on the flint lock musket,
(28:39):
when you pulled it, the flint would struck. It struck
to produce a spark. There was a little spark there.
It ignited the powder in the pan. And apparently sometimes
the powder in the pan would flash and the main
charge in the barrel would not ignite, resulting in yes,
(29:00):
wait for it, a flash in the pan, but no
real musket shot. And over time, as all great metaphors,
over time a flash in the pan came to mean
something that initially showed great promise like shooting a musket
or excitement, but failed to deliver, failed to live up
(29:22):
to the expectation. So brief, intense moment of success, but
fizzled out quickly. And that is what we have used
in sports. Someone starts out their career and they're like, oh, man,
that players like Paul Skins.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
I give Paul Skins of the Pirates great electric Is
he going to keep doing that? Who knows?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
He won't If he doesn't, it'll be a flash in
the pan. All right, we'll get out on that. I
will have the malord Palooza post game. We're gonna save
that for the Saturday podcast. And I've got some other
things planned as well, but we'll get to that. Danny
g should join me on that.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
We'll have new pods all weekend long.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
If you want to send something into the mail bag,
do it right now, send it in care of the
Real Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. The Real
Fifth Hour at gmail dot com, and your comments can
and we'll be.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Used on future editions of the show.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
So anyway, I have a great Friday, and hopefully nobody
famous that was a hero in my youth will die today.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
I'm good with the Haulkster. Well I'm not good with
him dying, but you get the point. All right.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Well, we'll talk to you next time later, Skater, who
asta pasta got a murder?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
I gotta go.
Host
Ben Maller
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