Hour 4 - Shotsy & the Edge

Ben Maller talks about Cowboys coach Brian Schottenheimer's hour-long meeting with Micah Parsons, the Giants releasing Tommy Cutlets and if this is the end of the fairytale for Tommy DeVito, Password: Word Game of the Stars, and more!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Boom, Shaka laka. It's our number four. It's a newbie night.
Hooray for newbye night. It's a newbie night on the
Ben Maler Show on this Wednesday, August twenty seventh. So
here in hour number four, what is your read on
Cowboys coach Brian Schottenheimer's our long meeting with Micah Parsons.

(00:20):
He did not get into much detail, so that leaves
the door open for speculation. Also, the Giants have released
Tommy Cutlets. Is this the end of the Tommy Devido
fairy tale or just the next chapter? And coach Kevin
Stefanski said that your dur Sanders will serve as the
Browns emergency third quarterback to start the year. How do
you evaluate this one? We'll cover all of that and

(00:44):
more right now on a Newbie Night, give way for
new callers in our number four. That's a two man show.
Shatzi and the Edge welcome in the beginning of another
hour of the Benmathers Show. Fly in the Red Eye flight.
We are in the air everywhere the epitome of gas Baggerie.

(01:09):
As we know, things are groovy unless they're not coast
to coast, border to motor and beyond on the mast
and monumentally powerful microphones of FSR emminating live from the
weight as we wait on your table, kind of from

(01:31):
the world famous Fox Sports Radio studios, as approved by
Random Ryan. He lives in Carolina and this portion of
the Ben Malin Show made possible in part by our
friends at tire Raq. For over forty years, ty Iraq
has been helping customers find the right tires for how,
what and where they drive, ship fast and freeback by
free road hazard protection with convenient installation options like mobile

(01:54):
tire installation tire raq dot com. The way tire bond
should be. We'd like to alert all the affiliates down
the line. You will not hear from Blind Scott. You
will not hear from Marcella and Brooklyn. You will not
hear from Mike the Leprechaun. You won't hear from Mike
in New Hampshire because it's at New Mee Night. Hooray
for New Mee Night. Whoa, that's all new callers. So
we'll get to the calls in a minute. And if

(02:14):
you've been listening for a long time, I hear the
same same people that call up every night. Okay, Well,
First of all, stop your complaining number two. You have
an opportunity g go about the number in a little
bit and you can call up. Am I gonna do
another monologue about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. No, no, no,
another story that will annoy you. Though some of you

(02:35):
you know who you are, those of you in the
back of the room get easily annoyed. So our lead
this hour is from the fund Zone, otherwise known as
Jerry's world, where apparently time does not move the same
as it does in the rest of the NFL. That's right.
Our obligatory Mallard monologue on the number one drove deep
in the heart of Texas. Absolutely. If you've not heard

(02:59):
the latest, maybe out on this the latest developments. Disenchanted,
we'll use the word disenchanted. Dallas defender Mike up Parsons
and his head coach, Brian Schottenheimer, known as Shatzi. This
is the dog that used to poop on the field
million years ago at Red's games. If you're old enough
remember that. So Brian Schottenheimer and Micah Parsons got together

(03:23):
and they had a chat. They had a discussion, and
this was punishment for Micah Parsons in theory for moping
around the field during the Falcons exhibition game with the
Atlanta football team, where he had the body language of
someone that had been sent to Guantanamo Bay. Now, Brian
Schottenheimer revealed that he spoke with Parsons for one hour

(03:49):
one hour, although he gave a vague answer and asked
how the conversation when he said it was positive, but
he didn't get into details. So let us discuss the
question for the esteem panel, which you are part of.
What is your read on the room? As the Cowboys coach,
Brian Schottenheimer had an hour long meeting with Micah Parsons.

(04:13):
So I've got what a burger, junk drawer and fire extinguisher,
and we'll combine all of these things together and we
are going to make the gabba goo and then we'll
throw in the baba ganoosh and then for dessert, we're
gonna have homemade cinnamon rolls. So that's a good meal.
That's a good meal. Not to lead off here, this

(04:36):
to me, I saw the timeline. I saw that, Well,
it's an hour meeting Parsons and Shoteneira, and it doesn't
sound like a meeting. This sounds like a hostage situation
to me? Is that too harsh? Oh, you're just being
a shock shock. That sounds like an interrogation scene at
a law and order or something like that. An hour now,

(04:56):
in football terms, an our meeting with your coach is
like sitting through four quarters of a preseason slash exhibition
game where no starters play and you watch the whole
thing that is known as agony, pure agony with a
capital A for agony. And now Brian Schottenheimer wants you

(05:18):
and I to believe wants us to believe Brian Schottenneimer
that this was some kind of big summit in Jerry's world,
big old summit, righty, Like the world leaders all got
together at Camp David and they had to get together.
Palais listen, I know mean any disrespect, which means I'm

(05:42):
about to disrespect the person I'm about to talk about.
Brian Schottenheimer is the human participation trophy of NFL coaches?
Does anyone disagree with that? I don't see anybody raising
their hands. I don't. He just is a guy that's
happy to be there. He was happy that he got invited,
and he never expected to be a head coach because
nobody thought he was good enough to be a head coach,
and Jerry Jones doesn't really think he's good enough to

(06:03):
be a head coach. But Jerry's like, hey, I'm the
coach anyway, so I'll just have you pretending to be
the coach and you just do what I tell you
and we're good. And Schottenheimer's like, I got invited to
the party. I'm making a lot of money. It's a
cool job. It looks good on my resume, so why not?
Why not? Right? What the heck? Just go for? I mean,

(06:23):
this guy's supposed to be a general. You're the head coach,
You're a general, right, that's the cliche there, But in
reality he's much more of a sock puppet, much more
of a soccer bue puppet. You can practically see Jerry's
hand moving the strings every time as the puppet master.
Every time Schottenheimer opens his mouth to the media, it's like, well,

(06:44):
did Jerry approve this? Of course he did. Of course
he approved this message. And if you're really honest with
the situation here and you think about, what do you
even talk about? For a sixty minute meeting between Schottenheimer
and Micah Parsons. Probably what were they doing debating is
Chick fil A better than what a burger? But you're

(07:05):
in Texas, so you're supposed to say what a burger
because it's a Texas thing. What about in and out Burger?
How does that rate you say yes to? You don't
say yes to in and out because that's a West
Coast thing. You're in Texas. You got to go with
what a burger? Were they scrolling the Madden ratings and
debating whether the ratings were right on the Madden Game?

(07:25):
Probably not. So it's just craziness. It just is right.
It's like, that's not really coaching, having an hour long
meeting where you're doing that kind of stuff. It's like
two college roommates and you're just kind of hanging out
on a random, you know, Wednesday night or Tuesday night
or whatever. Real NFL meeting. And I think all meetings

(07:47):
lean and mean no more than fifteen minutes. That should
be the longest meeting. Fifteen minutes. Should be less than
fifteen minutes. Bang bang, boom boom. That's it. Move on
with your day, get in, get out, get in, get out.
That's the way she'd do it. Anything longer, and you
are entering the political term philibuster, and you do not

(08:09):
want to filibuster. You don't. But here's the bigger picture,
wide angle lens here, wide angle lens on the Dallas Cowboys.
So the Cowboys are once again proving every single day
for the last couple of weeks here that this is
a reality TV show. It's not a football team. At
Jerry's the executive producer we mentioned in a previous episode
Spaghetti Western. But it's a reality show. And Michaeh Parsons

(08:32):
in this part of the storyboard, Michael Parsons your diva star.
So you got Jerry Jones executive producer, Michael Parsons divastar.
And then Brian Schottenheimer is the guy in the corner
who's holding the Q cards hoping that he doesn't lose
his job, and every once in a while they let
him hold the boom mic boom boom boom boom boom

(08:53):
real talk. Who used to call the show boom boom
bom boom boom. So this so called our long meeting,
it is not progress. It is performance art. That's what
I wrote down on my scorecard. Performance art of my
notes app It's another episode of Jerry's Big Drama ol rama,
giving you the illusion that Brian Schottenheimer is some kind

(09:14):
of general all right. Furthermore, to Jersey. We go to
Jersey where Tommy DeVito, good old Tommy DeVito, Well he's
no longer good old Tommy DeVito with the Giants's time
with the Giants has come to an end. It is
over for now and most likely for good. The Giants

(09:34):
have fired Tommy DeVito. The breakout, feel good story of
the NFL fan favorite local Boy does Well from New Jersey,
spent two plus years Tommy DeVito somehow as the ultimate
underdog story, a movie waiting to happen for Tommy DeVito.

(09:55):
Local Boy long shot makes it with the hometown NFL
team and the quarterback gets it done. Now, he didn't succeed.
He was a bad quarterback. I've heard some people try
to say he was a good quarterback. Those people don't
know ball. But is this the end? Is this the
end of Tommy DeVito's fairy tale the now former Giants

(10:16):
quarterback or is this just the next chapter. It's got
to the judges scarcards on this and now DeVito, I
have this as the endgame. And here's why DeVito will
likely end up in the NFL somewhere. They love to
recycle crap bag quarterbacks in the NFL. They just love it, right,

(10:37):
they can't. They get all horny getting these suck bag
quarterbacks and having them bounce from team which you have experience, Well,
you suck. It doesn't matter. You have experience. Okay, you're bad,
but you've got experience. Okay, we'll sign you. That's the
way it goes in the NFL. So the Giants have
tossed Tommy DeVito into the junk drawer right now, and
he's right next to you. If you look in the

(10:58):
junk drawer, he's right next to him. Tebow's clipboard and
brock Osweiler's ridiculous contract. We got that Gutch played well
for the Broncos in two games, and the Texans gave
him this ridiculous contract. Anyway, maybe you don't remember that.
So Tommy DeVito was a shooting star right shooting the
moon to the moon, and he was a comet very

(11:23):
briefly a comment and he lit up the New York Skyline,
the tabloids in New York City and then crashed into
the parking lot there at the Metal Lands. Boom boom boom,
boom boom boom, just like that. And story, I got it.
The story was always better than the player. The story
was always better than the play. And now I did
have the Giants in that Packer game. That was the

(11:44):
signature moment primetime game. I think it was a Monday night,
the Giants and Packers, and the Giants upset Green Bay.
So he had a moment. It's a Broadway play. There's
no second act. Broadway play, no second act. That's essentially
where I have this end. He'll forever though here's the thing, Like,
I don't feel bad for Tommy DeVito that he lost
his job. For now, he will forever be remembered for

(12:08):
living at home with his mommy and daddy, eating chicken
cutlets and throwing just enough wobbly passes to convince a
segment of Giant fans that he was the second coming
of Phil Simms. Like that that I'm telling you now.
Regardless though the the NFL, unfortunately the Giants determined that

(12:29):
they had enough. This is not the feast of Gennaro.
It's not. And you know, he's a folk hero. He's
like a folk hero for a generation. Like I would
argue that DeVito will live off this, assuming he doesn't
really make it anywhere else in the NFL, he will
live off this for thirty years that he's gonna be

(12:49):
at every autograph show and signing those little mini helmets.
You know, Tommy Tommy cutlets. You know that costs more
Tommy DeVito. You get that, But Tommy cutlets cost a
little more than Tommy DeVito when on your autograph at
the autograph show, every restaurant opening, he'll be there. He'll
cut the ribbon at events there. He'll he'll be part
of the Giant Alumni Association. He'll shake hands, he'll kiss

(13:11):
betty babies, all that stuff. He'll go to every little
Italy festival in the Tri State area and beyond and beyond,
and they'll write a story, be a book, and then
it'll be a movie, and they'll make a movie. You know,
a local guy does well living in his mom's basement.
You mom's making him chicken cutlets for breakfast. Well, you

(13:32):
don't eat that for breakfast, Well, he ate it for breakfast,
and then and then that's the movie. That's like the
opening scene in the movie. Hey, Tommy, you got practice
today for the Giants. You know that whole thing opening scene.
So Devido is set to live as his alter ego
Tommy Cutlas. Remember one's agent was on the field and
he had the hot the hand signs like the whole thing.
All right, Now, last thing, we go to Cleveland where

(13:55):
they Brownies have made their move coach Kevin Stefanski. Coach
Kevin Stefanski has made a decision on who will back
up jump ball Joe Flacco at quarterback this season in
Northern Ohio. And it is not not Schaudear Sanders. Instead,
it's the other guy, the other rookie, Dylan Gabriel has

(14:18):
been named QB number two. That's right, So he will
be the backup to the forty something year old Joe Flacco.
I think he's forty one. Kevin Stefanski saying that Chadur
Sanders will serve as the Browns emergency third quarterback to
start the season, that he'll be in uniform but will

(14:42):
not play unless things go sideways. So how do you
evaluate this particular story? So Sanders on this one, it's
a Shakespearean quarterback tragedy. You've got Schadeur Sanders who is
the understudy in this quarterback tragedy, which is the Cleveland
Browns quarterback room, and he does not appear to know

(15:05):
the lines. According to the Browns coaching staff, he will
wear the costume because he'll suit up. But unless Joe
Flacco has his hammy go whammy, then that's it. And
then Gabriel would also have to forget the alarm clock,
forget to set the alarm clock, and then he'll oversleep,
and then he'll be he'll be stuck in the wings

(15:26):
and all that stuff. And then so to rephrase this,
though Shuldar Sanders now the third quarterback, he is the
fire extinguisher in the quarterback room for the Cleveland Brows.
That Kevin Stevanski like all fire extinguishers, you have them,
but you don't want to use them. I remember years
ago here Fox Sports Radio, there was an accident right

(15:47):
out on the street here's Pulvet Boulevard in la and
there was a fire, and heroically one of the producers
went and he broke the glass for the fire extinguisher.
He took the fire extinguished, you're out, and he ran
out to the street there and the car was on
fire and he put out the fire, and he thought, man,
I'm on top of the ward. I'm gonna win some

(16:08):
kind of award from the company, and the management at
that time they informed him never to do that again
and instead to call nine to one one because it
costs a lot of money to get a new fire
extinguisher put in the building. True story, those people aren't
here anymore. I just want to say it's old management.
I'm sure the new people would be very understanding. But
the point is the same. The fire extinguisher, you don't

(16:31):
really want to use it and all that stuff. And however,
there's a case the whole thing does go up in flames.
It's the Browns, that's what happened. And Joe Flacco, I
assume he'll have like he's been the last couple of years,
hot and cold, good Joe Flacco, bad Joe Flacco, doctor Jeko,
mister Hyde. And he's the old furnace, you know, he's

(16:51):
the old friends. And then you've got Gabriel, wo's like
the space heater when he gets cold there in Cleveland
and got kind of a flickering pilot light on that
little thing. And then you've got Sanders, who's like bolted
to the wall because he's the fire extinguishers, kind of
waiting for the chaos and all that. It is the
Ben Mahler Show. If you want to comment on any
of this, here is your opportunity. Come on down. We

(17:14):
got a couple of lines open. It's a newbie night.
If you've never called because you're sick, all you hear
is blind Scott and the Leprecha. All these normal not
none of them are normal, but the people that normally
call show, well, this is your opportunity. This is at
eight seven seven nine nine six six three sixty nine.
That's eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox. If you'd

(17:35):
like to be part of the program, So straight ahead,
Bill Belichick back in the tabloids again, back in the
tabloids again. We'll get to that. We also have some
things we didn't get too earlier that we will get
to right now, well not right now, but in a
couple of minutes. We'll get to those things and a
whole lot more. Your calls comments on X at Ben
Mahler on a Newbie Night, holl right for Newbye Night

(17:57):
at eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox. We'll get
to it. We will do it.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
Next, be sure to catch live editions of The Ben
Mellor Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific
on Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio App.

Speaker 3 (18:12):
Hey, Steve Covino and I'm Rich David and together We're
Covino and Rich on Fox Sports Radio. You could catch
us weekdays from five to seven pm Eastern two to
four Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and of course, the
iHeartRadio App.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
Why should you listen to Covino and Rich.

Speaker 3 (18:26):
We talk about everything life, sports, relationships, what's going on
in the world. We have a lot of fun talking
about the stories behind the stories in the world of
sports and pop culture, stories that well, other shows don't
seem to have the time to discuss. And the fact
that we've been friends for the last twenty years and
still work together. I mean that says something, right. So
check us out. We like to get you involved too,

(18:47):
take your phone calls, shop it up. As they say,
i'd say, the most interactive show on Fox Sports Radio,
maybe the most interactive show on planetar. Be sure to
check out Covino and Rich live on Fox Sports Radio
and the iHeartRadio App from five to seven pm Eastern
two to four Pacific and if you miss any of
the live show, just search Kobe known Rich wherever you
get your podcasts, and of course on social media.

Speaker 1 (19:06):
That's Cavino and Rich, Bill Miller and you. It is
the Ben Maler Show on the Red Eye flight all
night about half an hour until we land the plane
and coming up a little bit later this hour password
the word Game of the Stars on a Newbie Night.
You can interact with the show on x at Ben Mahler.

(19:28):
Say hello to Lorena who got a giant box of
pickles in the mail. I have a pile in my
box right now.

Speaker 4 (19:35):
Bro.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
That's at FSR Tech Queen and Kooper Loop who gets
nothing in the mail. At a Bronco fan, at h
Bronco Fan, your comments can and we'll be used against
you in the court of sports radio. So act accordingly,

(19:59):
and now back to it. Back to it isn't Newbie
night newby night? Oh my god, it's newby Night. So
have the things we need to take care of. Belichick
ending up in the tabloids again Bill Belichick. The tabloids
excited that Bill Belichick. What did he do? Did he
break up with Jordaan Hudson? No, he has made a

(20:20):
real estate deal. Say what, h Yeah, Bill Belichick quietly
has listed his Nantucket cottage for so you can live
where Bill Belichick did some really tawdry things. It'll cost
you if you go at asking price three point nine
million for Belichick. Now, I've always heard Belichick loves Nantucket

(20:44):
like that. That's his special place. Does he have another
home there? Is he going to buy another home? He
doesn't really need the money. Belichick's seventy three and he's
got all that NFL money. I think he's worth more
than two hundreundred millionaires. He made hundreds of millions with
the Patriots over the years and the other teams he's had.

(21:06):
Do you think Jordan hutch he has conspiracy? You think
Jordan Hudson's like, hey, you got to sell that house
because you know, get that money going, you know, use
that money for something else. You know. She's like, hey,
I gotta get my tentacles into all that Belichick money.
Gotta do it, Gotta do it. So Belichick and the tabloids.
I'm going to keep an eye on that story, see

(21:26):
if there's something else going on with that. We teased
this earlier. We never paid it off, but there's an
Aaron Rodgers update. We still have not gotten a full name.
We have not seen a mug shot, We have not
seen any chie not real photographic evidence that Aaron Rodgers
his wife, he claimed he got married, that there's none

(21:49):
of that. No one said they attended the wedding. No
one said they didn't attend the wedding. Well, I guess
people have said that, because how would you. Anyway, the
wags have checked in on this. You know who the
wags are? You know what wags?

Speaker 5 (22:00):
No?

Speaker 1 (22:00):
What is that?

Speaker 2 (22:02):
No?

Speaker 1 (22:02):
No, that's sports jargon. That's what guys say for the
women who are with the athletes. They call them wags,
wives and girlfriends, the wags. Okay, so the wags of
the Jets are. They've chimed in on this, and they
do not think. They're doubtful that Aaron Rodgers is actually married,
saying they never saw anyone, never met anyone. So what's

(22:24):
going on? You think Rogers this wife? You think she's
being held captive somewhere and like Malibu or something, he's
made of plastic. Interesting, the type you blow up? You know,
that would be the ultimate. When Rogers retires from the Steelers. Oh,
by the way, boys, I never got married. You're all
a bunch of losers. I'll talk about all about it
on Joe Rogan's podcast. You know, like that whole thing.

(22:46):
You know what's great about blow up girls? Where's Brittany? What?
You can take them with you on vacations. You just
you know, deflate them and put them in your suitcase. Yeah,
you should tell hollering James that. Yeah. So remember back
in June, Aaron Rodger said he had been married for
a couple of months, but still no one has seen
the supposed wife, Brittany. Interesting. Interesting, this does get that

(23:11):
anti tale type situation going there, you know, the fake girlfriend.
That's wild. That is wild. Let's call the phones on
a Newbie night, newbe night. All right for newbe Night.
Let's say hello to Nuclear Nate. I like that name.
Nuclear Nate is in Rhode Island. Hello, Nuclear Nate. It's

(23:33):
a Newbie night. I'm great. It's a newbie night or
morning now, I guess it's Newbie morning.

Speaker 6 (23:41):
I just wanted to call in on Newby Night. Well,
welcome you, Coop and Loraina.

Speaker 1 (23:47):
Well, thank you. Appreciate that you are just a ball ofvengers.
You certainly sound like you're nuclear.

Speaker 6 (23:52):
Oh I'm about to be Oh yeah, almost what do you? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Well, how are you nuclear? Nate? What is your magical power.

Speaker 6 (24:03):
Building? Nuclear things ben all over the place?

Speaker 1 (24:07):
Is that right? Interesting?

Speaker 6 (24:08):
But I think Aaron Rodgers, you see his wife soon,
he's going to come to the press conference with it,
although I think it's going to be a sock puppet
on his hands.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
That'd be good. You know, he's got to get a
full muppet like a like the old Scot Kermit or
Miss Piggy. How he showed up with miss here's my
my wife, Miss Piggy. She's a large lady, a large
puppet and here she is right there. Be good?

Speaker 6 (24:30):
Oh that'd be great.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
Yeah, all right, well thanks for listening, Nate. I appreciate it.

Speaker 6 (24:35):
Thank you ourr buddy.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
There's a nuclear name. It's a Nuby. Let's go to Corey.
Very nuclear. Yeah, well he's way I mean this guy,
that guy's a ball of fire. Not right now, he's
got to get his day started. Let's go to Corey
in Minneapolis. Hello, Corey, welcome, it's newby night, Cory.

Speaker 6 (24:52):
It is, and you know what, it's not really nube night.
My wife and I.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
Have a thirty five forty mile commute every morning, and
I'm not allowed to touch the radio dial unless it's
mister mall.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
Look at that.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
That's that's that's a happy relationship right there. That is
a power that is a power couple. Is what that?
What's your what's your wife's name? Corey?

Speaker 6 (25:16):
Jenna?

Speaker 1 (25:17):
Jenna, Jenna and Corey.

Speaker 4 (25:19):
Here stay hi, honey, Hi, good morning.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
Jenna. Let me tell you something. You're my favorite woman
married to a guy named Corey in Minneapolis. I'm a
big fan. I want to thank you for that. I
want to thank you for your loyalty and your long commute.
You're long because you live out in the suburbs, is
that right, and you come into the city.

Speaker 4 (25:38):
We do.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah, we live.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
In the South Suburbs and we drive in every morning.
And you coop in Lorena's energy and insight on just
just your takes and and everything are entertaining and it's
a good way to.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
Look at that. This is the sun. I always say
when we go to these meet and greets and all
the freak show up, I say, the real people, the
salt of the silent majority. Core right, his bride there,
it's wonderful.

Speaker 4 (26:07):
And also one thing that Aaron Rodgers might he probably
thinks he got married, but it was just an hallucination
from Iowa.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
It's a good point. What if he got maybe he
fell in love with you know those Nigerian email scams.
Maybe he he had like a love scam and he
fell in love with.

Speaker 4 (26:22):
Yeah, he's and he's that's why he's still playing football.
You got, you got fleet.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
He has no money through exactly, He's got to play
untill he's sixty. He'll keep playing. All right, Well, listen,
I thank you for calling you to be safe. I
appreciate you checking in and thank you for listening. That's awesome.

Speaker 4 (26:37):
So yeah, thanks for all you guys doing. It really
does make it a great start to the day.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Outstand, look at that.

Speaker 5 (26:44):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
Send that to management Coop. Send that to the corporate
weasels that we work for here in Shapiro right now.
Send that how popular we are? Send that to Scotch
Shapiro right now. Come on this radio show on Foxes Radio.
Everyone says, so all right, let's go to Darnell in Kansas. Hello,
Darnell got caught in the twilight zone. I think, Hello,

(27:06):
I apologize, Darnell. You know what, I'm gonna give you
a golden ticket, Darnell, because you went above and beyond.
You might suck as a caller, but you you were
on hold way too long. I apologize. I somehow the
thing of a jake didn't work to watch m call.
I apologize, Darnell. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 6 (27:24):
Darnell, right, Oh, Jordy, y'all keep me whoop to the night?

Speaker 1 (27:30):
Well, we don't. We definitely don't keep you woke.

Speaker 7 (27:32):
We keep you awake, though, I want to take the militia.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
Oh man, another let me down.

Speaker 6 (27:46):
Now.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
We have a rule generally we only do it once
a show, but you were on hold for about seven hours.
So I'm gonna check with my my panel here. Should
we break the rule for Darnell in Kansas? No begging? Loraina?
Should we break the rule for Darnell? Who wants to
do the oath? She says, yeah? Cooper loop yes or

(28:07):
no Coop? Yeah? All right, we'll do it, Darnell. We'll
do We're gonna do the oath. Darnell. We're violating oath.
We're violating the rule. We're violating the rule.

Speaker 6 (28:17):
All right.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
For those that are new to the show. The Mallard
Militia is a very powerful underground operation. All right, we
are a mostly peaceful group, but there is an oath.
And Darnell, I would like you to take the Are
you driving right now? What are you doing, Darnell? Yeah,
they're driving? All right. Well, I'm gonna tell you to
raise your hand, but I want you to have one
hand on the wheel. Okay, here, we got it. I

(28:39):
state your name. I Detroit Darnahill, Detroit Darnell. Look at this,
do solemnly swear, do solidly swear that I will support
and defend the Ben Maler Show, that I will.

Speaker 7 (28:55):
Support and defend then.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Mallard Show against all enemies.

Speaker 7 (29:00):
Against all enemies.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
Foreign and domestic, born and domestic, especially those that do
daytime talk radio in Houston.

Speaker 3 (29:10):
No.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
I added that, And then I here go, and then
I will obey the orders.

Speaker 6 (29:20):
And I will obey the orders.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
To peacefully fight back, to peacefully fight back against hostile.

Speaker 7 (29:27):
Attacks, against hostile attack.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
From rivals, sports gas bags and blowhards from.

Speaker 7 (29:35):
Rival sports gas bags and blowhards.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
So help me, God, So help me God. Congratulations Detroit Darnell,
you are now by the power vested in me by
the state of the Ben Mahler Show legends like Justin
and Cincinnati, Robbie the Mariner, fan, just Josh, mister knisk
all these other characters. I now pronounce you a sworn
member of the Malord Militia. Congratulations girl, all right, and

(30:02):
we must mention also the great Skeeter in Montana rest
in peace, Skinter. This was his idea. Skeeter demanded an oath.
He called us up from Montana's I need an oath.
I need to be sworn in. And that that was
the beginning of the Mallard Militia oath. So thank you Skeeter,
and thank you Darnell. You're from Detroit. How long you've
been in Kansas.

Speaker 7 (30:20):
Darnell moved here in twenty and twenty one.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
Okay, you like it?

Speaker 6 (30:27):
Yes's cool.

Speaker 7 (30:28):
My wife was born and raised out Old Lake for Kansas. Okay,
we were and we were living in Phoenix. Her mom
got sick. She wanted to move back home and be closer.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
Oh yeah, you gotta tell you, yeah, you gotta take
you well, you know you can go back to Detroit later.
You got to take care of the parents, right, you
know how that goes Darne. Aw all right, you gotta take
care of yeah, now, yeah, all right, Well, thank you Darnell.
Thanks for listen, man, I appreciate it. Thank you, sir,
Thank you. All right, there's darns a little taste of Skeeter.
He's he's listening on the other side of the Pearly gates.

(30:59):
I say hello to Cali Casey. What's going on? CALLI Casey.
It's a newbie night ray for newbye night, A reay
for new bye night. I Cali Casey.

Speaker 8 (31:10):
I have never been so honored in my life to
be talking to Ben Miller. But hey, I do have
something to say about Travis Kelsey. You know, I mean,
love is love, man, Come on, what do.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
You what do you what do you mean?

Speaker 6 (31:28):
Well, you know, heart does what a heart does.

Speaker 8 (31:31):
And they fell in love and and between you and
me in the sidewall, and I just have to say,
you got to be happy for them.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
I don't have to be happy. I mean I don't.
I'm not saying I don't know them. Could you be indifferent? Ben? Yeah?
I am neutral. I'm like Switzerland.

Speaker 3 (31:54):
I don't know either one of them.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
I mean, they're just I mean, I'm I guess it's
great that together. If they like each other, that's that's good.
Rights some days that's Lorraine, I don't Today that's Justin
and Justin and Cincinnati. Justin and Cincinnati's a real love guy.

Speaker 8 (32:16):
Between her and Goop de Loop. Hey, well Coop, ask
Coop does he love love?

Speaker 1 (32:23):
Yeah? Okay, Well you can't say you don't because then
you're a douche, you know, So what are you supposed
to say? That's a you know, I I gotta go,
thank you, Let's go to Let's go to Tom who's
in Vermont. Uh, that's two calls from Vermont. That's a
new record on the show. To it because the only
people in Vermont are are like animals and trees and
stuff and Arnie Spaniel. Hello, Tom, Hey, I guess.

Speaker 5 (32:46):
I won't mask do the uh the mal Ard militia
whatever you call it.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
Well, that's a yes, we call it the whatever you
call it. We formally called it the what you might
call it, But that's a candy bar.

Speaker 5 (32:59):
So now, yeah, well I forgot what I was gonna say.
But so a long time ago, I listed every morning
on my way to work, and you were somehow hedgehogs
came up and Lorraina said, I got a story about hedgehogs,
and then I think you had to go to commercial.

Speaker 6 (33:14):
And I never heard it.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
Okay, I'm a story about hedgehogs. Can you tell the
story in a very short amount of time?

Speaker 9 (33:21):
Yes, My friend had a hedgehog and she lost it
for three weeks and it got lost down in her
air conditioning vent.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
And then one day she heard it going and she
pulled it out and it was still alive. That's it.
That was my story.

Speaker 6 (33:32):
Okay, Well, I guess it's melodramatic.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
Then that's a great story. She gave you. She gave
you the she gave you the thumbnail version. She did
not give you the extended dance remix. She gave you
the radio. I feel like I should call hang up
on his call right now. Okay, we'll hang up on him.
There you go, Thank you. Let's go to Scottie. It's
a nuby in Tampa. Hello, Scottie, what's going on? Scotty
A newby Night Newby Morning?

Speaker 4 (33:54):
Now, that's right, man, it's newby Morning calling from Tampa.

Speaker 6 (33:58):
I'm a big fan of the show.

Speaker 4 (33:59):
First time I've ever really called into a radio station
because I produce a radio show.

Speaker 8 (34:03):
You're in Tampa.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
Yeah right, fellow fellow radio brother from the Brotherhood of Radio.

Speaker 4 (34:10):
That's what's up, man. But I got you guys got
to come down to Tampa for a mallor meet and greet. Man.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
All right, well listen, you're listen. I would love to
go to Tampa. All right. You you have the power.
You have to convince your local bosses to make that happen,
and we will be there. You'll be right, you'll go.
Lorraina shaking her head, Yes, Coop shaking, we'll go. We'll
do a Tampa meet and greet. I'd be wonderful.

Speaker 6 (34:31):
I'd love that Tampa. I got the iHeart connection. So
we're already saying, all right, boom your boom.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
We've got a couple of big sponsors. Man, we're right
there with Donald Yeah.

Speaker 4 (34:40):
Shout out to w Dae and ninety eight Rock Baby.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yeah. All right, Scott, I love that you're fellow radio guy, dude.
Thank you, Scotty, Scotty, fellow radio man right there, Thank you, Scotty.
Look at that beloved in the radio community. The dysfunctional
world of talk radio and music radio too. I could
just keep. I do too. I wish I'd fallen in
love with something else sometimes, but I do love radio

(35:05):
could be worse. I mean, there are worse things through
to fall in love with. But I was a little boys,
I want to be on the radio. I'm on the radio,
and look at me now, all right? Anyway, it is
the Ben Malor Show. Coop. See if some of these
guys on hold they want to play the next thing
that we've got on the agenda on Newbie Night, and
that would be password, the word Game of the Stars. Password.

(35:27):
We'll get to that and we will do it next.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app search FSR to
listen live.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
Bill Miller and you. It is the Ben Maller Show.
We're up all night in the early morning hours. And
if you're just getting up with us, trying to get
to jump on the traffic. Maybe you live in Minneapolis
and you're married and you have a long commute. Yeah,
we thank you. You likely miss the rest of the show,

(36:04):
and if you missed any of the overnight show, you're
going to want to catch the podcast. Just search Ben
Maller wherever you get your podcast. Right after the show,
we'll land the plane and the podcast will be posted.
Be sure to follow the podcast we ad at five
stars and you can even provide a witty review. Again,
just search Ben Maller wherever you get your podcast. You'll

(36:24):
find the latest full show and a best of version
which is two point two seconds long, posted right after
the end of the show.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
Attention everyoneord is password, you idiot? Password the word Game
of the Stars. Here's Ben Maller.

Speaker 1 (36:42):
Let's do it on a newby night. We've got the
Beast of the East in Rochester. Hello, Beast of the East?

Speaker 6 (36:50):
How are you?

Speaker 8 (36:51):
Ben?

Speaker 6 (36:51):
I try and cow, but you're too popular. I never
get in.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
All right, I apologize. I will try to suck so
I will try.

Speaker 6 (36:58):
To do bad. I will debate a couple of comics night.
But to play your games?

Speaker 1 (37:04):
All right? Who would you like to partner up with? You?
Play with me? Ben, Lorena or Coop.

Speaker 6 (37:10):
Wow?

Speaker 1 (37:10):
You will of course, of course, beasts. There's no other option? Popular?

Speaker 6 (37:15):
Not?

Speaker 1 (37:15):
Really?

Speaker 6 (37:16):
Can I give you one comment to think about first?
Or not?

Speaker 8 (37:19):
No?

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Sure, I don't have time. I don't, I really don't.
I really don't have time. Hold on, Beast, you're gonna
play the game. Uh. And Tyler is in the great
state of Maine. Hello, Tyler, welcome.

Speaker 6 (37:31):
Oh, good morning, Ben, this is the Beast of the
East Coast.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
Oh look at that. Are you saying that Maine is
more well, it certainly is further east of Rochester, so
you definitely have that. Yes, all right, Tyler, who do
you want to partner up with? You got Cooper? Lorena?
All right, Coop, you're in. Yes, Loraina, you're off the show. Bye, guys,
I'm finally something. Okay, all right, Beast of these we

(37:58):
have a list of words one to ten. Please pick
a number one to ten, Beast of the East.

Speaker 6 (38:06):
I will please my birthday.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
Ninth you were you were born in the ninth month
or on the ninth day, ninth day? Sure, okay, just
go with it. Why not, let's go with Let's see
there's a I could do? How about? Oh man, which
direction do I want to go? How about we go
with loaf loaf? What what did you say? He said?

(38:33):
What he was asking to you? You to repeat l
o A f loaf?

Speaker 6 (38:41):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Here we go, this is where spelled we go? What
do you think that is. What word are we looking for?

Speaker 6 (38:47):
I don't know, but we're gonna win.

Speaker 9 (38:53):
All right, all right, all right, so let's go with Tyler. Tyler,
let's go with You heard Ben's clue. My clue is
gonna be wheat repeated one more time.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
Wheat w h E A T wheat. Yeah, let's go.

Speaker 6 (39:15):
What I was gonna say?

Speaker 1 (39:17):
Why did you say? Go ahead? Pick a number, Tyler,
go ahead, pick a number? He said number two. He
didn't know it was his turn. Oh my god, wait,
number two. Hurry up, hurry up, let's go with a
let's see. Oh that's easy. Uh I swear, I swear no.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
Yeah, let's go.

Speaker 1 (39:50):
He was supposed to play the rules. He did not
know the rules.