August 29, 2025 • 45 mins
Big Ben talks about who won the trade that saw the Cowboys send Micah Parsons to the Green Bay Packers, why Jerry Jones ended up pulling the trigger on this deal, Maller to the Third Degree, Lame Jokes of the Week, Coop's Scoop on Entertainment, and more!
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This is the best of the Ben Maler Show on
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Speaker 1 (00:32):
The parting of the Parsons. Welcome in the beginning of
another night of the Benmahler Show.
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We are in the air everywhere using audio frequency as
we never bury the lead, my man, we definitely are
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(01:18):
the long Suffering Cowboy fan, Benito, the long Suffering Cowboy Fan.
For some reason, they took the lead here and this
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know Alfinfergdog always say it's the way tire buying should be,
and they're never wrong, never wrong about that. So our
lead this hour right to Jerry's world. And you know,
if you're with me most nights or even maybe once
(02:00):
in a while, I generally do not talk about the
same story every hour. I don't do that. There's some
people that do this for a living. They do one
topic and they do a three hour show and they
repeat the same thing. It's the lazy River of sports radio.
I haven't done that very often because I think it's terrible.
(02:23):
It's a bad listen that's number one. Number two. I
would get bored. I would be bored. I'm not bored
with this, and so I think there's a lot to it.
You know, I got in a radio I went to
clown sportscaster clown college, and they teach you about the topic.
Tree you know, you got to do a talk radio show.
(02:43):
You have to have the topic tree, and you have
all the branches of the tree and all there's a
lot of branches to the tree, and so there's there's
enough meat on the bone that we it's not a
small turkey. It's it's it's not a small turkey, it's
a big turkey. There's a lot to the turkey. And
we're gonna talk about the turkey most of the night.
(03:04):
Now you can call up and rant and rave about
other things. There's some other stuff I'll get to throughout
the show, but I'm just setting it up so we
have a resolution. We have a resolution to the NFL
cold war between Jerry Jones and Micah Parsons. I assume
you've heard by now, maybe not. You knew something was
going to happen. They've been at loggerheads for a while.
(03:25):
The other players that were bitching about their contracts, they
agreed to to either new deals, like Washington Commanders and
their wide receiver Terry McLaurin. The Cincinnati Bengals gave Trey
Hendrickson a raise. But there was one left party of
one party of one that would be Micah Parsons. Who
(03:46):
is never going to wear the Dallas Cowboy uniform again.
Bye bye. Parsons headed to the Green Bay Packers in
a blockbuster trade, leaving America's Team five following a month's long,
highly publicized, highly talked about contract dispute. So what did
(04:07):
Dallas get? Well, packers got some powerball powerball cards. They
got that couple first round picks one in twenty twenty six,
one in twenty twenty seven, and they also acquired a
defensive tackle you've never heard of named Kenny Clark, Yeah,
Kenny Clark. And they give up Michael Parsons, who agreed
(04:30):
immediately cite unseen to a contract extension to live in
Wisconsin and have a big chesshire cat smile on his face.
We are told that Parsons and the Packers have agreed
to a record setting contract one hundred and eighty eight
million dollars over four years. That's a good money if
(04:53):
you can get it. Now, we know these contracts are
for Gayzy. The total amounts, how much is guaranteed? So
for that it's one hundred and twenty twenty million dollars guaranteed.
So Micah Parsons will be buying dinner and what does
that mean In the big picture. It means that Parsons
has become the highest paid non quarterback in NFL history,
(05:14):
highest pick. So what do you get a couple of
sacks a game for that? That's what? What is that
per game? I don't I don't have the math on
the per game salary, but just per sack, Let's say
he gets don't know, fifteen sacks this year and he's
but he's making forty five forty seven million something like that.
There you go, all right, so let us discuss the
(05:35):
question who is in the winners circle on the Micah
Parsons trade from the Cowboys to the Packers. So my
thoughts on this, I've got Pirouet, Cotton Candy, and Walgreens
and we will combine all of these things together and
we are going to make some delicious, crunchy tacos. My
(05:58):
friend back in the day said those are gringo tacos,
but we're gonna make them now because I like them.
This yeah, so uh a, listen, this is not that hard.
We're not talking about open heart surgery here. We're not
talking about something complex. We're talking about sports. The Green
Bay Packers did just did something they weren't supposed to
do at a time they weren't supposed to do it.
(06:18):
This is something they never do. Now, some of you said, oh,
you gotta wrong, Ben, you gotta wrong. Okay, the take
was the proper take. And the reason that this Michael
Parsons trade is so outrageous is because that was the
proper take. I nailed the take. I got amazing credit
for that take. That was an amazing take. I dotted
the eye on the take. But the packers said, screw
(06:41):
the take. We're gonna change it up. We're gonna go
to Vegas. We're gonna bet the house, we're gonna gonna
go down to Fremont Street, one of those sleazy hotels
on Fremont Street. We're gonna put all the chips in
the middle. And they got a guy who, in theory, again,
in theory, is good enough to elevate the Green Bay Packers,
who were a playoff team last year. Now I have
(07:03):
my doubts. We'll get to that as we go through
the night. But if you check out the Richter scale
on the Micah Parsons trade from Dallas to green Bay,
this is not just your normal transaction. This is a
full blown I call it a cheese quake in Title Town, USA.
The Green Bay Packers, those buttoned up conservative draft and
(07:26):
develop monks of the NFL monastery, just ripped off the road.
They shrudded down the catwalk and shouted f them picks
and they did a little piraauet like they were at
fashion Week in Perie, a little parrouette right there on
the catwalk. And talk about a bizarro world situation. The
(07:46):
last team you would think would do this would be
the Green Bay Packers. And here we are, all right,
And to repeat for those of you in the back
of the room, they're a little slow. The Packers don't
do splash. They don't They don't do drama. They don't
do one hundred and eighty eight million dollar contracts with
one hundred and twenty million dollars guaranteed. They do quiet
(08:07):
draft nights and passive aggressive news conferences. But now, are
they having a midlife crisis at lambeau Field. Are they
the person in the middle of the life going out
and buying a cherry red Ferrari. They're dancing with Micah
Parsons and they're doing it with a lampshade on their
head dancing on the table yelling we're all in, baby,
(08:30):
We're all in. Okay, Well, hopefully Jordan Love doesn't ride
the vomit comet. And so they regressed somewhat last year
for the Green Bay Packers. Now page two. So Jerry
Jones addressed the media following the Micah Parsons trade. We're
gonna take a lot of quotes out of this as
we work our way through the overnight. Jerry is always
good with the sound bites, and so one of the
(08:53):
things that stood out Jerry said that quote. We did
think it was the bet in the best interest of
our organization for the future and this season as well.
Apparently the editing department did not put any sound in,
but that's what he said. So, how do you decode
(09:13):
Jerry Jones saying that Michaeh Parson's trade, the Michael Parsons
trade was in the best interest he said, best interest
of the Cowboys organization for the future and this season.
So I'll tell you how I dcode that. This is
known as prepackaged. It's a prepackaged line. We've heard it
(09:33):
hundreds of times over the years. It's not an answer.
It's a stock thing that You're right on a on
a card like a birthday card or a Hallmark card.
You could slap that line on literally any move the
Cowboys make. It's one size fits all that line. The
Dallas Cowboys could have traded Michah Parsons to the Green
(09:56):
Bay Packers and they they could have acquired you know,
you know, a beer vendor, or they could have traded
the guys selling the hot dogs. Whatever they would have done,
it doesn't matter. It's always in the best interest of
the organization. If Jerry Jones decides to take a bowel movement,
it's in the best interest to the Cowboy organization. It's
(10:17):
a fortune cookie answer. You open it up, it's the
same message every time. And listen, I understand, I understand.
We talk about this seemingly every other night. Jerry Jones
is like a carnie and he's coming to town and
he's running the cotton candy machine, the carney, and he's
spinning sugar and there's really nothing of substance there, just
(10:38):
a sticky mess that dissolves the second you put it
in your mouth. It just vanishes. But the best interest
means absolutely nothing, and the best means as good as
all the rest. We say that all the time. It's
like saying, hey, the sun will rise in a few
hours from now in the east. Okay, thank you very much,
(11:00):
appreciate that. So Jerry Jones is obviously not explaining what
he is doing. He's a salesman. Jerry is selling. He's
the guy at the state fair yelling yell at you, Hey,
this is a two headed goat, two headed. Come see
the two headed goat. The future of farming is here,
a two headed goat. That's it. That's rue. So you're
(11:25):
you're supposed to walk away dazzled, not actually informed, but
just dazzled with Jerry Jones. All right, now, last word here.
So this is my favorite part of all of this,
the health of Micah Parsons. You might remember earlier this week,
State sponsored NFL media told us that Micah Parsons was
(11:47):
frantically trying to leave the Dallas Airport and he was
desperately seeking a second opinion. I'm my aching back. Holy crap,
my god. The guy's got a chronic back injury. He
needed to see another dog. So the Cowboys had Parsons
undergo an MRI on his back over the weekend, and
the results said the back was pretty clean. Suppose, so
(12:11):
Parsons was, for lack of a better term, doctor shopping
to find a friendly doctor that would sign off on
his back being all left up so he could miss games. So,
now that Micah Parsons is headed to Green Bay, how
is parsons back tightness going to affect the Packers? Should
(12:31):
they be worried? Should they be concerned at Lambeau that
Micah Parsons has damaged goods that they just traded not one,
but two first round picks to get Micah Parsons and
he's got a bad back. So this trade from green
Bay or to green Bay from Dallas, the deal is
(12:52):
like a trip to Walgreens for meds. You don't need
to get a quarter zone shot. Forget about that. No
quarter zone shot. You don't need physical therapy, you don't
need an ice bath, you don't need any of that.
Because we've determined, after years and years of research doing
talk radio, that the greatest anti inflammatory known de mankind
(13:17):
is money. Money, money. Oh yeah, you know it, right,
You're right, you right. One of those big cartoon checks
for one hundred and twenty million gaironte guaranteed and all
of a sudden, Micah is hopping around like he's on
a pogo stick, like he's in one of those one
of those temper pedic commercials. You know, Oh, I'm feeling great.
(13:40):
The thing that this is, and it's a classic story
as old as time in professional sports. Players disgruntled players,
not happy, and so they fake an injury, They lie
about an injury. That's what Michael Parsons did. He's a liar.
Michael Parsons is a liar, and this is a it's
a Manny Wood situation. I would say in my life
working in and talking about athletes, that is the single
(14:03):
greatest I'm faking an injury story of all time. So
years ago, the Red Sox had this guy named Manny Ramirez,
was a good player. You know, he's kind of a
looney tune, and Manny was upset with the Red Sox,
so famously is a great story. So he complained my
aching knee. Manny Ramirez complained, and he actually missed a
(14:23):
couple of Red Sox games. And then in the clubhouse
at Finnway, one of the reporters went up to man
and said, you know which which knee is is bothering you?
And Manny was gobsmacked. He could not remember which knee
was hurting because he made it up. So the Red
(14:43):
Sox doctors, I remember the story. They had to They
had to have him have MRIs on both his knees,
and it was all it was all scam. It was
all scam. Much like back tightness. Remember when I covered
the NBA years ago, years ago, and the go to
injury if a guy was out too late, boozing it
off and chasing chicks was a lower back injury. If
(15:06):
they were hung over and couldn't play on the back
to back, they'd say they had a lower back injury
because there's really no test for a lower back injury,
and so back tightness, I would assume that's the that's
the new term for lower back injury. Like well, if
you say your back shirt, your back shirt, that's it
really a nothing you can do and you can take
some tests, but there's really not much for sure. You say,
as it hurts, it hurts, and all that stuff.
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(16:33):
a very jerry kind of a day.
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Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben
Maler Show.
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The vast and gigantically powerful microphones of FSR amating live
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(17:15):
in Iowa and also Robbie the Mariner fan are two
offensive linemen that listened to the show. You got a
good offensive line here, and really the games are one
at the line of scrimmage. You gotta have a good
offensive line. We got a pretty solid offensive line. We
absolutely do, absolutely do so our lead this hour. Our
(17:35):
lead this hour is from of course, the trade, the
Big Baffosco Trade, and this hour made possible in part
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mister Knight Guy nod his head. Tire rack dot com
the way tire buying should be. So are our lead
from the big flea market of football. It's the story
that everyone's talking about. Everyone's talking about it. The Cowboys
made one of the most stunning, mind bending transactions in
NFL history. They sent Micah Parsons to the Packers in
(18:21):
exchange for not one, but two first round draft picks
and some defensive tackle you've never heard of, a humdinger
humdinger for trade. Now, we continue our in depth team
coverage all night long, around the clock. We're past just
the midnight hot We're beyond all that stuff. So people
have been trying to figure out what led to the shocking'
(18:46):
awe trade. If you're in our world, it's shocking all
So let us discuss the question. Let's get to the why.
Why Why did Jerry Jones end up pulling the trigger
on this Micah Parsons trade to Green Bay? Give me
the why. So I've got belt buckle, fireworks factory, and
(19:06):
Moe Howard and we will combine all of these ingredients
together to make your Babushka's favorite matza ball soup. That's
what we're gonna do. Absolutely warm and fuzzy, absolutely correct.
All right, So nam burwa, nam bright stop. There's no
need to stand in your head. The first word that
(19:29):
popped into my head as to why Jerry Jones ended
up pulling the trigger on this trade is ego with
a capital eu. Ego. This is a pride parade. Not
that kind of pride that I just a very proud man,
a lot of pride. This is a proud billionaire. And
(19:51):
I guess at one point the family they were made
their money an oil oil baron. At one point, Jerry's
not an oil man anymore. He's a football man. He
got told no, Jerry Jones got told no. You don't
tell Jerry Jones no. If you tell Jerry Jones no,
then you got problems. And some agent decided that he
(20:12):
was gonna shove it into Jerry Jones's face and say no.
And we know the story now that Jerry believed he
had an agreement, he had a handshake deal with Michaeh.
Parsons back in April, and then the agent said no.
The guy trying to make a name for himself, you know,
no name agent in a tailored suit, and Jerry decided, okay,
(20:34):
I'm gonna burn the house down. Now. We didn't think
he would do it. We were skeptics of Michaeh Parson's
trade happening. We're also skeptics of Michael Parsons's. It's still
a crazy, crazy town trade to say we're gonna trade
a twenty six year old defensive player, Michaeh Parsons, for
a couple of tokens. And we see in the claw
(20:57):
machine there's some headphones in there and looks like there's
like an iPhone, and we're gonna use our tokens and
try to win the claw machine, but you're likely gonna
get nothing, And so doctors do not recommend it unless
you're Jerry Jones. And you must prove that you've still
got the biggest, baddest belt buckle in the room, and
(21:19):
you don't mess with the belt buckle of Jerry Jones.
And Jerry was challenged by David Mullaghetta, the agent, and
he got offended by Mullaghetta, and he made a move
out of spite. And this is a f around and
find out chart brought to life animation for the f
(21:39):
Around and find Out chart for that agent. Parsons camp thought, well,
Jerry wouldn't do it. He's not gonna do it. No, no,
no no, And they thought he'd cave in too old.
He's not like Big Balls Bob there in Vegas. He
wouldn't be able to do it. They figured the Cowboys
brand was too big a risked Jerry Jones would not
(21:59):
give up up the Star. But Jones loves star players.
Every man, woman and child knows Jerry Jones loves star players.
And Jerry said, you know what I'm gonna show you.
I am going to trade you to the frozen Tundra.
Get out of here. So Parsons goes from eating delicious
Texas barbecue brisket out of the smoker, he leaves that
(22:23):
behind and now he'll be eating delicious cheese curds. He'll
be recording his podcast on a pontoon boat on Lake Winnebego.
That's what they'll be doing, assuming he can get one
of those satellite hookups of the Internet. And he went
from the Star on the helmet, Michael Parsons to a town.
I heard this from somebody and my brother lives not
(22:44):
far away from lambeau Field. But the biggest media person
in Green Bay is a guy named Bill who runs
a packers blog out of his garage. But he's really popular,
I really really find so Dallas was the number Fivember
five million markets five green Bay number seventy, number seventy.
(23:07):
So that is not a drop off. That is a
free fall in free fall. And it's kind of like
going from hosting Good Morning America to doing weather hits
in Glendive, Montana. Did you know that Glendive, Montana is
the lowest ranked television market in America. It does not
(23:30):
go lower than glen Dive, Montana. That is as low
as it goes. So the endorsement dollars, they're not all gone,
but lower visibility lowered for Micah Parsons. Now that being said,
he can enjoy all the different kinds of cheeses available
over in Kenosha at the Cheese Castle. So he's got that.
(23:52):
And Parsons can get a statue, not next to Lombardi,
he can get one next to Harry Houdini over in
Appleton Harry Houdini Museum over there and hang out now
Page two, Is it true? Is it true that Jerry
Jones had doubts about Michael Parsons showing up in big moments.
(24:13):
So I am nodding my head. Yes, you can't see
me unless you're watching on the YouTube, and I'm nodding
my head. Just they don't call him Micah the mirage
for nothing like. Parsons has had a lot of sizzle.
In fact, I would say playing for the Cowboys, he's
had more sizzle than that. The heat of platter at
(24:33):
El tourto You know, there's a lot of sizzle there,
and yet when the lights hit brightest in the big games,
he's Casper the pass rusher is what he is, and
you see the outline, you feel some pressure, but there's
no real impact there. Poof he goes, he goes limp
(24:54):
And Michael Parsons is the kind of player and it's
a lot like Dak Prescott where he will dominate from
the beginning of the year and then he'll dominate in
the middle of October and disappear by the time we
get to January, which is problematic unless they change the
NFL calendar and play the postseason a different time. He's
(25:16):
the defensive version of a fireworks factory. In theory, a
fireworks factory is very explosive, kaboom, a very explosive, right,
But when the fuse is lit in crunch time, all
you get is a dud, a puff of smoke, and
a sad crown bone. And that's it and an example.
(25:37):
And no one's talking about this, but I believe it
is a central part of why Micah Parsons was traded.
We mentioned the agent, and that's certainly a big part
of this. But let's go back in the hot up
time machine. We're going to go to the twenty twenty
three playoffs early twenty twenty four, a disastrous, dismal Cowboy
playoff loss at home two of all teams, the Green
(25:59):
Bay Packers in the wild card round. Micah Parsons was
a no show. Now, what is my evidence? He was
a no show watching that game, But also the statue,
Also the statue, didn't you know for the first three
quarters of that NFL playoff game in Dallas that you
(26:20):
had and I had as many tackles and as many
sacks as Michaeh Parsons. The Cowboys were down forty one
to sixteen going to the fourth quarter of that playoff game,
and then Michaeh. Parsons made a couple of plays in
the fourth quarter when the game was well over, well over,
and I recall how upset Jerry Jones was, and he
(26:41):
was one of the stars that did not shine bright.
He was a falling star, Michah Parsons in that game.
And you gotta think somewhere somewhere in the mind of
Jerry Jones, and that was a factor. You just have
to think that somewhere in the back of his head,
all right now, final point. Michael Parsons issued a prepared statement.
(27:05):
He went on social media and issued a statement on
his trade going to the state of Wisconsin from the
state of Texas. He said, quote, I never wanted this
chapter to end, Parsons sent out on the socials, but
not everything was in my control, he wrote. Prepared statement continues,
Parsons wrote, my heart has always been here, meaning Dallas
(27:29):
and still is. Parsons said, well, that's because you haven't
flown to Wisconsin anyway. Now, he said, through it all,
I never he said, never made any demands. I never
asked for anything more than fairness. I only asked that
the person I trust and negotiate my contract can be
part of the process. Close quote, So can you parse
(27:51):
the words? Can you parse the words of Micah Parsons
saying I never wanted this chapter to end? Can you
parse the words? So my first thought on this is
what are the chances Michaeh. Parsons actually wrote that I'm
gonna go zero point zero zero. That's my guess. You
(28:13):
want to go lower than that? Okay, you lower than that?
So Parsons was playing with matches and he ended up
starting a five alarm inferno. Is what he did because
he positioned himself as the harmless victim in this prepared statement.
And that is a mix of utter nonsense and a
(28:37):
half truth. Utter nonsense and a half truth that Michaeh
Parsons is completely innocent. I just wanted fairness, and that's
all I wanted because I recall the last Cowboy exhibition game.
Michah Parsons had an absolute conniption fit, a hissy fit
during that final exhibition game against the Atlanta Falcons. He
looked like Mo Howard doing slapstick comedy with the Three Stooges.
(29:04):
You had bad body language, the mannerisms, the gyrations, all that.
What are your examples Ben. I'll give you my examples now.
Parsons was spotted eating those delicious stadium nachos in the
hallway right before the game started, right before kickoff. Well,
he didn't play the game. I know, it's just bad decorum.
(29:24):
He was also during the game spotted for a moment
or two lying on the trainer's table like he had
been shot from a bazooka while the Cowboys were on offense.
So there's that. And he also did the call me
gesture with his hand, you know how you make your
hand a phone like, hey, call me. He did the
call me gesture to a group of Falcon fans in
(29:46):
the bleachers who wanted him to go to Atlanta. So
the only thing missing was the twin pronged poke in
the eye. Y, yeah, that's the only thing missing. But
he did do a little bit of mohouard, little bit
of mohoward. Three stooges, and the common denominator. The common
denominator in this is again the agent David mula Getta.
(30:10):
That's the villain in this. That's the guy. He wants
to be the next Drew Rosenhous. He wants to be
the Scott Boris of baseball, and I respect the hustle.
I respect the hustle. And Jerry says that he had
the outline of this contract done in April, and then
Mula Getta tossed a monkey ranch into the deal. I
(30:33):
tossed a monkey ranch into the deal. And the agent
acts on behalf of the client. Anyone that's ever been
in a job where you've had an agent, I've had
an agent. Obviously not a good one. I'm still doing overnights,
but I had an agent and the agent acts on
behalf of me when I had an agent, and they
are working for you in this case, they're working for
Michael Parsons. And to rephrase this, at any point, at
(30:57):
any time, the client in this case, Michael Parsons could
have intervened and said, listen, I appreciate this. I've worked
out the logistics on this. This is the deal I want.
And you know, man, a man, old school. I met
with Jerry Jones. This is the deal he offered me.
This is the deal I accepted. So just make sure
that everything's you know, good, cross the t's dot the ies.
(31:19):
I'm good. But that's not what happened, MOI get is
like Screwjerry Jones. I'm going to get my chunk of
the money here, and I'm going to get more money
out of Jerry, And so he ends up going to
green Bay. Now the other part of this and we'll
get into another conspiracy later. How about this for a conspiracy?
Did Jordan Love? Is it true? Is it true that
(31:42):
Jordan Love played a role in this happening, that he
facilitated this particular trade between Green Bay and Dallas, that
Jordan Love was involved this? Now, what is my evidence
on that? If you if you look at the agent
Move Aghetta here, you have to wonder if it was
(32:03):
orchestrated because among his other clients Jordan Love. So Michaeh
Parsons agent shares he shares his agent with among other
NFL players during Love. So is it conceivable that Move
the Ghetta weaponized Jordan Love and said, hey, Jordan, can
you do me a solid and go to the Packers
(32:25):
and say that my guy would love to play there,
even though he probably doesn't, but see if they'll give
you the money. They got the space, and so he did.
And there you go. I'm just throwing that out there.
Just let that breathe a little bit. You can let that
breathe a little bit. And so the agent here acting
on behalf of the client unless they're not. And now
(32:45):
Micah will go to Green Bay and he gets the
most money ever for a non quarterback. Good for him,
which is important because you know, twenty nine degree days
in December in Green Bay. You need really nice ear muffs,
and you need really good wolf socks. You gotta have
those really good wolf socks and a nice parker. Those
are three items that you need. And so he'll have those.
(33:07):
He'll be able to buy the really nice wolf socks,
some solid ear muffs, and a really nice parker. He'll
get all of those things.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
It's Mallard. How about that?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
To the third degree? This is one big fan gets grilled.
Speaker 5 (33:29):
Koopolo Rushie Rice was handed a six game suspension for
his involvement in a multi car crash last year, and
Rice won't be appealing the ruling.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Ben.
Speaker 5 (33:38):
How much of an impact is this going to have
on the chief season, Well, he'll be.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Back by the time the games get pretty important. Kansas
City showed last year they can manage the game, Andy Reid.
They did not have a great offense last year with Mahomes,
and they still were able to win those games. And
they have Xavier Worthy Hollywood Brown at the start of
the year. So those guys get hurt and the rotting
corpse of Juju Smith Schuster, so there's there's enough to
(34:02):
work with there, and you know, some of those guys
are gonna get hurt. That's the problem. Right now, they're fine.
When those guys start getting hurt, that's the problem, but
they'll they'll end up going four and to it worse
to start the year.
Speaker 5 (34:14):
Next, an NFL writer for Sports Illustrated predicted that Jackson
Dart will start thirteen games this season for the Giants.
Ben Are you taking the under?
Speaker 1 (34:23):
I liked it, he said, thirteen, not fourteen, not twelve.
He went with thirteen. Of course, I'm gonna take the
under because even if he Russell Wilson's gonna get replaced
at some point. But you don't know if dark Jackson
Dart's gonna be good or if he's gonna get hurt,
so you always got to go under.
Speaker 5 (34:36):
Next, Mark Cuban made a podcast appearance this week where
he said that he will go to his grave convinced
that the six NBA Finals was stolen from the Mavericks.
You don't agree with Cuban on much, Ben, but how
about this one.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
No, It's absolutely correct. It was ridiculous. It was a
clown show. How many times Dwayne Wade got to the
foul line. It was embarrassing. There was funny business going on.
Speaker 5 (34:55):
How do we doubt you pass this edition?
Speaker 1 (34:56):
I love and Dwayne Wade just took some more foul.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app. Search FSR to
listen live Knock Knock, Who's there?
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Blame Weed, Blame week too. It's Big Ben's lame joke
of the week. Anyway you go, Big Beds lame jokes
of the week or the rest of the hour, believe
it or not, the rest of the hour. Like to
point out that this portion of the Ben Malach showman
possible by Express Informent Professionals. Is it time for a
(35:38):
new job, then it's time for express employment professionals. With
the endless online job search and list the pros and
Express never charges job seekers a fee. Go to expresspros
dot com. Let's say he lord to the weed Man
in Miami, our buddy, longtime radio caller, Weedman Hippie whose
name did come up multiple times, a man of mystery.
At the mallor meet and greet in Vegas, people were
(35:59):
asking me about weed Man Hippy. Hello, weed Man, make
me laugh. You gotta get that Vegas show. Weed Man,
you'll dominate man. I know, super Marcus Steve will pay
for some tickets if you go to Vegas.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
That'd be great.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Yeah, all right, well let's do this. Here's the actual jokes. Well,
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelcey, it turns out their engagement
has actually been called off. Wow. Why yeah, there was Well,
it turns out there was a booth review and it
showed that Travis's knee never actually touched the ground, so
it does not count. That's Stephen Denver. That's Stephen Denver.
Speaker 5 (36:33):
That's actually really good, thank you.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Why didn't Mouthwash Mike attend to meet and Greek Why? Well,
apparently there was a dental convention in Vegas and they're
giving away free samples mouthwash, So that's why you're doing that. Yeah.
What do putin and keg drinking Steve have in common?
What they both love white Russians. That's an era Eric
(37:02):
in Kansas? Why do well? Why does Why does Mike
the Leprechaun want to be a boardop? Why? Because he
really loves driving people to boredomb to boredom? That threw.
That's our buddy, Drew in Minnesota. Everything good with you,
weed Man? Life good? Yes, yes, all right. What do
(37:25):
you call an event that Rex Ryan plans on attending?
What malord meat and feet malor meat? That's that's Kurt
from Earth. What does Mike the Leprechaun's parrots say? What
he says? Ben? When are you coming to Boston? Ben?
(37:46):
When are you coming to Boston? Ben? When are you
coming to funk? That's a chip in man, That's that's
pretty funny. That's a funny joke from shipping me. Very
good joke writer, and sent some great cookies. Uh, I
guess a couple of years back. Now, how likely is
it that Blair in Maine will get a girlfriend? How likely?
About as likely as we hear from Ed and Arlington
(38:09):
about Michaeh Parsons that's a Noah in Austin. Well, yeah,
it's more of a baseball guy. But it's a good joke.
Why did lead a Lap Fox sports radio producer Lead
a Lap start taking flying lessons? Why? Well, he wants
to add it to his repertoire. He'd like to start
crop dusting something other than the rena. So that said George,
(38:34):
George and Valdi. Very a lot of flatulence there from Lee.
Why does David Vassay always respond to Mallard's insults? Why
because he can't let them slide slide? That's Vassay was
the guy that went down the slide in Milwaukee. He's
(38:57):
like a Dodger guy and he broke his arm going
down the slide. No dangerous in Milwaukee? Who did? Who
is David Vessey's favorite caller to the Ben Maler Show?
Who Dick in Dayton? That's I was fur Dog. We
sent that one in, all right, and we move on.
(39:17):
What do you call weed man after he's been pepper
sprayed and mustard gas? Oh? No, what seasoned get little mustard?
Little pepper there? Hey you you that was from Noah.
By the way, Noah's in Austin. It's been a while
weed Man, since you've been arrested. Congratulations. Is this the
(39:38):
longest you've gone without being arrested by the cops. Yeah,
that's pretty impressive. You were getting arrested every other week
back in the day. We were trying to find your
mudshot online. What is weed Man's next job going to be?
What marriage counselor? That's Eric and Kas Is Lisa there? Hello? Lisa?
(39:59):
Is Lisa there? He's not there tonight? Okay? What was
weed Man's favorite game growing up? What hash tag?
Speaker 5 (40:09):
That's it?
Speaker 1 (40:10):
That's it Man? All right, that's our buddy Chip in Maine.
But weed Man, what is the number three? What is
the number three?
Speaker 2 (40:20):
What?
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Three is the number of times David Veasse rolled around
while crying like a little girl after breaking his arm
on a slide in Milwaukee. That's Lucky Tony. I got
to meet that guy, Lucky Tony. He's on my short
list of the calls I want to meet when we
do the Bay Area meet and greet, maybe we'll meet him.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
All right.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Why do vampires avoid corporate executive jobs? Why they're afraid
of stakeholders? Reggie, that's a classic dad joke from Reggie
in Detroit. Well, you steal a man's wallet and he'll
be poor for a day. Weed man, you heard about that? No, yeah,
but if you teach him to play a musical instrument,
(41:00):
he'll be poor for the rest of his life. That's
Manny from Fresno. Well, some big entertainment news to hear.
The Incredible Hulk is getting his own show on HGTV.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Wow. Cool.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Yeah, they said he's amazing at flipping houses, so they're
gonna get him a gig. As Damp from Delaware. Why
has the recent immigration crackdown led to lower occupancy rates
in Vegas? This is from surfer Toby cam Why. Why
Because they have ice on every floor? That's why? All right?
And uh, what's an illiterate person's favorite DJ?
Speaker 4 (41:39):
What?
Speaker 1 (41:40):
DJ scribble? That's from Eric in Kansas. Thank your weak Man.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 5 (41:53):
All right, Ben, we are going to start off in theaters.
And it feels weird not being tossed to by Marcea. Marcel.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Yeah, Marcel slacking a little bit, I've noticed.
Speaker 5 (42:06):
Yeah, I don't know what that's about. Maybe maybe he's
sleeping in.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Maybe he's on the Morning Jab again up there in Maine.
Speaker 5 (42:13):
Right, all right, So we're gonna start in the theaters.
And there's a couple of movies out this weekend that
I want to point out. The first one is called
Cot Stealing and it stars Austin Butler and he was, Yes,
he played Elvis and the Elvis biopic.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
No idea, who there is?
Speaker 5 (42:31):
He's the He's the big up and coming, like you know,
the heart throw actor he was. He plays a high
school baseball phenom who can't play anymore, but everything else
in his life is going okay. He's got a great
girl who was played by Zoe Kravitz. His favorite team
is making an underdog run at the pennant, and then
his punk rock neighbor played by Matt Smith, asked him
to take care of his cat few days. For a
(42:52):
few days. He suddenly find himself caught in the middle
of a motley crew of threatening gangsters and they all
want a piece of him and he doesn't know why.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yes, i'd also figure I'll be figured it out in
an hour and a half.
Speaker 5 (43:04):
Yeah, I'm sure he will. This movie is directed by
Darren Aronofsky and it also stars Regina King and Leev
Schreiber and Vincent Dinofrio. Oh and Bad Bunny is also
in there.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Oh, bad Bunnie. I know who Bad Bunny is?
Speaker 5 (43:18):
Ye, yeah, there's that. Isn't he dating Kendall Jenner?
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Is he playing a waiter in this or Caddy or something?
Speaker 5 (43:25):
I don't know. But another movie out this weekend if
you want to, you know, if you want to go
to something that your wife might be uh into. That's
called The Roses. And I don't know much about this movie,
but it stars Benedett Cumberbatch and Olivia Coleman. And they
are a.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Picture perfect We're going to flower shop somewhere and there.
Speaker 5 (43:48):
I mean, hey, they might be it's it's there. They
are a picture perfect couple with successful careers, the loving marriage,
great kids. But beneath the facade of their supposed ideal life,
a storm is brewing. Oh right, that's right.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
Oh I hate when that happens.
Speaker 5 (44:05):
The guy's career notes it dies, Lorena.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Said, my head once he said there's swingers is a
swingers man? I said it in confidence. Oh are they
really sorry? I apologize? No, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (44:18):
I get so excited. I just I didn't know that
that was a twist to the movie. But apparently it's
not just making a job. But Alison Janny and and yeah,
and Andy Samberg are also in this movie. There is
a movie coming out about that though about swingers. Oh
all right, well, I don't know if it's this one.
This one's called The Roses and it is out this weekend.
Moving over to television, and it's been a long time
(44:39):
since since we have done a coop scoop on entertainment,
just for different different reasons. Yeah, I was out Friday,
you were out Friday. And so I'm going to bring
up a documentary series on Netflix. It's been out there
for a couple of weeks. But so I've watched the
whole thing already, but I have not talked about it
on this show. It's called It for TV and it
(45:02):
is a three part documentary series on the the cultural
phenomenon that was the biggest loser on NBC back in
the day.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Oh I remember that show. Yeah, pretty popular for a
couple of.
Speaker 5 (45:13):
Years, it was apparent and I didn't even realize how
popular it was. Like I watched a couple of seasons
of it back when it was on. Oh oh, and
that's Coop'scoop Entertainment.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
There you go. Coop's worried about that brick wall he
was about to run into. There's the wall, Coop, you
just ran into the wall.
Thanks for listening to the best of the Ben Mahler
Show podcast. Be sure to catch us live every weeknight
from two to six Eastern eleven pm to three am
Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and to find your local
station for the Benmatlers Show at Foxsports Radio dot com.
You can find it there or stream us live every
night on the iHeartRadio app by searching FSR.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
This is the best of the Ben Maler Show on
Fox Sports Radio.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
The parting of the Parsons. Welcome in the beginning of
another night of the Benmahler Show.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
We are in the air everywhere using audio frequency as
we never bury the lead, my man, we definitely are
not burying the lead on this one coast, the coast, border,
the border, and.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Beyond on the mast irresistibly powerful microphones of FSR amminating
live from the cream the creamy goodness of our cheesy
takes from the world famous Fox Sports Radio Studios, as
approved by the Green Bay Gobbler Gopa Gopa Gobble and
(01:18):
the long Suffering Cowboy fan, Benito, the long Suffering Cowboy Fan.
For some reason, they took the lead here and this
portion of the Ben Maler Show on Fox made possible
by our friends at tire Rack. For over forty years,
ty Iraq has been helping customers find the right tires
for how, what and where they drive, ship fast and
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free back by free road hazard protection with convenient installation
options like mobile tire installation ti iraq dot Com. I
know Alfinfergdog always say it's the way tire buying should be,
and they're never wrong, never wrong about that. So our
lead this hour right to Jerry's world. And you know,
if you're with me most nights or even maybe once
(02:00):
in a while, I generally do not talk about the
same story every hour. I don't do that. There's some
people that do this for a living. They do one
topic and they do a three hour show and they
repeat the same thing. It's the lazy River of sports radio.
I haven't done that very often because I think it's terrible.
(02:23):
It's a bad listen that's number one. Number two. I
would get bored. I would be bored. I'm not bored
with this, and so I think there's a lot to it.
You know, I got in a radio I went to
clown sportscaster clown college, and they teach you about the topic.
Tree you know, you got to do a talk radio show.
(02:43):
You have to have the topic tree, and you have
all the branches of the tree and all there's a
lot of branches to the tree, and so there's there's
enough meat on the bone that we it's not a
small turkey. It's it's it's not a small turkey, it's
a big turkey. There's a lot to the turkey. And
we're gonna talk about the turkey most of the night.
(03:04):
Now you can call up and rant and rave about
other things. There's some other stuff I'll get to throughout
the show, but I'm just setting it up so we
have a resolution. We have a resolution to the NFL
cold war between Jerry Jones and Micah Parsons. I assume
you've heard by now, maybe not. You knew something was
going to happen. They've been at loggerheads for a while.
(03:25):
The other players that were bitching about their contracts, they
agreed to to either new deals, like Washington Commanders and
their wide receiver Terry McLaurin. The Cincinnati Bengals gave Trey
Hendrickson a raise. But there was one left party of
one party of one that would be Micah Parsons. Who
(03:46):
is never going to wear the Dallas Cowboy uniform again.
Bye bye. Parsons headed to the Green Bay Packers in
a blockbuster trade, leaving America's Team five following a month's long,
highly publicized, highly talked about contract dispute. So what did
(04:07):
Dallas get? Well, packers got some powerball powerball cards. They
got that couple first round picks one in twenty twenty six,
one in twenty twenty seven, and they also acquired a
defensive tackle you've never heard of named Kenny Clark, Yeah,
Kenny Clark. And they give up Michael Parsons, who agreed
(04:30):
immediately cite unseen to a contract extension to live in
Wisconsin and have a big chesshire cat smile on his face.
We are told that Parsons and the Packers have agreed
to a record setting contract one hundred and eighty eight
million dollars over four years. That's a good money if
(04:53):
you can get it. Now, we know these contracts are
for Gayzy. The total amounts, how much is guaranteed? So
for that it's one hundred and twenty twenty million dollars guaranteed.
So Micah Parsons will be buying dinner and what does
that mean In the big picture. It means that Parsons
has become the highest paid non quarterback in NFL history,
(05:14):
highest pick. So what do you get a couple of
sacks a game for that? That's what? What is that
per game? I don't I don't have the math on
the per game salary, but just per sack, Let's say
he gets don't know, fifteen sacks this year and he's
but he's making forty five forty seven million something like that.
There you go, all right, so let us discuss the
(05:35):
question who is in the winners circle on the Micah
Parsons trade from the Cowboys to the Packers. So my
thoughts on this, I've got Pirouet, Cotton Candy, and Walgreens
and we will combine all of these things together and
we are going to make some delicious, crunchy tacos. My
(05:58):
friend back in the day said those are gringo tacos,
but we're gonna make them now because I like them.
This yeah, so uh a, listen, this is not that hard.
We're not talking about open heart surgery here. We're not
talking about something complex. We're talking about sports. The Green
Bay Packers did just did something they weren't supposed to
do at a time they weren't supposed to do it.
(06:18):
This is something they never do. Now, some of you said, oh,
you gotta wrong, Ben, you gotta wrong. Okay, the take
was the proper take. And the reason that this Michael
Parsons trade is so outrageous is because that was the
proper take. I nailed the take. I got amazing credit
for that take. That was an amazing take. I dotted
the eye on the take. But the packers said, screw
(06:41):
the take. We're gonna change it up. We're gonna go
to Vegas. We're gonna bet the house, we're gonna gonna
go down to Fremont Street, one of those sleazy hotels
on Fremont Street. We're gonna put all the chips in
the middle. And they got a guy who, in theory, again,
in theory, is good enough to elevate the Green Bay Packers,
who were a playoff team last year. Now I have
(07:03):
my doubts. We'll get to that as we go through
the night. But if you check out the Richter scale
on the Micah Parsons trade from Dallas to green Bay,
this is not just your normal transaction. This is a
full blown I call it a cheese quake in Title Town, USA.
The Green Bay Packers, those buttoned up conservative draft and
(07:26):
develop monks of the NFL monastery, just ripped off the road.
They shrudded down the catwalk and shouted f them picks
and they did a little piraauet like they were at
fashion Week in Perie, a little parrouette right there on
the catwalk. And talk about a bizarro world situation. The
(07:46):
last team you would think would do this would be
the Green Bay Packers. And here we are, all right,
And to repeat for those of you in the back
of the room, they're a little slow. The Packers don't
do splash. They don't They don't do drama. They don't
do one hundred and eighty eight million dollar contracts with
one hundred and twenty million dollars guaranteed. They do quiet
(08:07):
draft nights and passive aggressive news conferences. But now, are
they having a midlife crisis at lambeau Field. Are they
the person in the middle of the life going out
and buying a cherry red Ferrari. They're dancing with Micah
Parsons and they're doing it with a lampshade on their
head dancing on the table yelling we're all in, baby,
(08:30):
We're all in. Okay, Well, hopefully Jordan Love doesn't ride
the vomit comet. And so they regressed somewhat last year
for the Green Bay Packers. Now page two. So Jerry
Jones addressed the media following the Micah Parsons trade. We're
gonna take a lot of quotes out of this as
we work our way through the overnight. Jerry is always
good with the sound bites, and so one of the
(08:53):
things that stood out Jerry said that quote. We did
think it was the bet in the best interest of
our organization for the future and this season as well.
Apparently the editing department did not put any sound in,
but that's what he said. So, how do you decode
(09:13):
Jerry Jones saying that Michaeh Parson's trade, the Michael Parsons
trade was in the best interest he said, best interest
of the Cowboys organization for the future and this season.
So I'll tell you how I dcode that. This is
known as prepackaged. It's a prepackaged line. We've heard it
(09:33):
hundreds of times over the years. It's not an answer.
It's a stock thing that You're right on a on
a card like a birthday card or a Hallmark card.
You could slap that line on literally any move the
Cowboys make. It's one size fits all that line. The
Dallas Cowboys could have traded Michah Parsons to the Green
(09:56):
Bay Packers and they they could have acquired you know,
you know, a beer vendor, or they could have traded
the guys selling the hot dogs. Whatever they would have done,
it doesn't matter. It's always in the best interest of
the organization. If Jerry Jones decides to take a bowel movement,
it's in the best interest to the Cowboy organization. It's
(10:17):
a fortune cookie answer. You open it up, it's the
same message every time. And listen, I understand, I understand.
We talk about this seemingly every other night. Jerry Jones
is like a carnie and he's coming to town and
he's running the cotton candy machine, the carney, and he's
spinning sugar and there's really nothing of substance there, just
(10:38):
a sticky mess that dissolves the second you put it
in your mouth. It just vanishes. But the best interest
means absolutely nothing, and the best means as good as
all the rest. We say that all the time. It's
like saying, hey, the sun will rise in a few
hours from now in the east. Okay, thank you very much,
(11:00):
appreciate that. So Jerry Jones is obviously not explaining what
he is doing. He's a salesman. Jerry is selling. He's
the guy at the state fair yelling yell at you, Hey,
this is a two headed goat, two headed. Come see
the two headed goat. The future of farming is here,
a two headed goat. That's it. That's rue. So you're
(11:25):
you're supposed to walk away dazzled, not actually informed, but
just dazzled with Jerry Jones. All right, now, last word here.
So this is my favorite part of all of this,
the health of Micah Parsons. You might remember earlier this week,
State sponsored NFL media told us that Micah Parsons was
(11:47):
frantically trying to leave the Dallas Airport and he was
desperately seeking a second opinion. I'm my aching back. Holy crap,
my god. The guy's got a chronic back injury. He
needed to see another dog. So the Cowboys had Parsons
undergo an MRI on his back over the weekend, and
the results said the back was pretty clean. Suppose, so
(12:11):
Parsons was, for lack of a better term, doctor shopping
to find a friendly doctor that would sign off on
his back being all left up so he could miss games. So,
now that Micah Parsons is headed to Green Bay, how
is parsons back tightness going to affect the Packers? Should
(12:31):
they be worried? Should they be concerned at Lambeau that
Micah Parsons has damaged goods that they just traded not one,
but two first round picks to get Micah Parsons and
he's got a bad back. So this trade from green
Bay or to green Bay from Dallas, the deal is
(12:52):
like a trip to Walgreens for meds. You don't need
to get a quarter zone shot. Forget about that. No
quarter zone shot. You don't need physical therapy, you don't
need an ice bath, you don't need any of that.
Because we've determined, after years and years of research doing
talk radio, that the greatest anti inflammatory known de mankind
(13:17):
is money. Money, money. Oh yeah, you know it, right,
You're right, you right. One of those big cartoon checks
for one hundred and twenty million gaironte guaranteed and all
of a sudden, Micah is hopping around like he's on
a pogo stick, like he's in one of those one
of those temper pedic commercials. You know, Oh, I'm feeling great.
(13:40):
The thing that this is, and it's a classic story
as old as time in professional sports. Players disgruntled players,
not happy, and so they fake an injury, They lie
about an injury. That's what Michael Parsons did. He's a liar.
Michael Parsons is a liar, and this is a it's
a Manny Wood situation. I would say in my life
working in and talking about athletes, that is the single
(14:03):
greatest I'm faking an injury story of all time. So
years ago, the Red Sox had this guy named Manny Ramirez,
was a good player. You know, he's kind of a
looney tune, and Manny was upset with the Red Sox,
so famously is a great story. So he complained my
aching knee. Manny Ramirez complained, and he actually missed a
(14:23):
couple of Red Sox games. And then in the clubhouse
at Finnway, one of the reporters went up to man
and said, you know which which knee is is bothering you?
And Manny was gobsmacked. He could not remember which knee
was hurting because he made it up. So the Red
(14:43):
Sox doctors, I remember the story. They had to They
had to have him have MRIs on both his knees,
and it was all it was all scam. It was
all scam. Much like back tightness. Remember when I covered
the NBA years ago, years ago, and the go to
injury if a guy was out too late, boozing it
off and chasing chicks was a lower back injury. If
(15:06):
they were hung over and couldn't play on the back
to back, they'd say they had a lower back injury
because there's really no test for a lower back injury,
and so back tightness, I would assume that's the that's
the new term for lower back injury. Like well, if
you say your back shirt, your back shirt, that's it
really a nothing you can do and you can take
some tests, but there's really not much for sure. You say,
as it hurts, it hurts, and all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Mellor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Hey, Steve, Covino and I'm Rich Davis, and together we're
Covino and Rich on Fox Sports Radio. You could catch
us weekdays from five to seven pm Eastern two to
four Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and of course the
iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Why should you listen to Covino and Rich.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
We talk about everything, life, sports, relationships, what's going on
in the world. We have a lot of fun talking
about the stories behind the stories in the world of
sports and pop culture. Still worries that well other shows
don't seem to have the time to discuss. And the
fact that we've been friends for the last twenty years
and still work together, I mean that says something, right.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
So check us out.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
We like to get you involved too, take your phone calls,
chop it up. As they say, I'd say the most
interactive show on Fox Sports Radio, maybe the most interactive
show on planetar. Be sure to check out Covino and
Rich live on Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app
from five to seven pm Eastern, two to four Pacific,
And if you miss any of the live show, just
search Covino on Rich wherever you get your podcasts, and
of course on social media. That's Covino and Rich It's
(16:33):
a very jerry kind of a day.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben
Maler Show.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
We are in the air everywhere on the River of
life as we punch the lights out coast, the coast, border,
the border and beyond on.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
The vast and gigantically powerful microphones of FSR amating live
from the melt as we unlock the Masterpiece and the
Malord meltdown on an hourly basis. Here from the world
famous Fox Sports Radio Studios, as approved by Big Greg
(17:15):
in Iowa and also Robbie the Mariner fan are two
offensive linemen that listened to the show. You got a
good offensive line here, and really the games are one
at the line of scrimmage. You gotta have a good
offensive line. We got a pretty solid offensive line. We
absolutely do, absolutely do so our lead this hour. Our
(17:35):
lead this hour is from of course, the trade, the
Big Baffosco Trade, and this hour made possible in part
by our friends at ty Iraq. For over forty years,
Tiraq has been helping customers find the right tires for how,
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(17:59):
mister Knight Guy nod his head. Tire rack dot com
the way tire buying should be. So are our lead
from the big flea market of football. It's the story
that everyone's talking about. Everyone's talking about it. The Cowboys
made one of the most stunning, mind bending transactions in
NFL history. They sent Micah Parsons to the Packers in
(18:21):
exchange for not one, but two first round draft picks
and some defensive tackle you've never heard of, a humdinger
humdinger for trade. Now, we continue our in depth team
coverage all night long, around the clock. We're past just
the midnight hot We're beyond all that stuff. So people
have been trying to figure out what led to the shocking'
(18:46):
awe trade. If you're in our world, it's shocking all
So let us discuss the question. Let's get to the why.
Why Why did Jerry Jones end up pulling the trigger
on this Micah Parsons trade to Green Bay? Give me
the why. So I've got belt buckle, fireworks factory, and
(19:06):
Moe Howard and we will combine all of these ingredients
together to make your Babushka's favorite matza ball soup. That's
what we're gonna do. Absolutely warm and fuzzy, absolutely correct.
All right, So nam burwa, nam bright stop. There's no
need to stand in your head. The first word that
(19:29):
popped into my head as to why Jerry Jones ended
up pulling the trigger on this trade is ego with
a capital eu. Ego. This is a pride parade. Not
that kind of pride that I just a very proud man,
a lot of pride. This is a proud billionaire. And
(19:51):
I guess at one point the family they were made
their money an oil oil baron. At one point, Jerry's
not an oil man anymore. He's a football man. He
got told no, Jerry Jones got told no. You don't
tell Jerry Jones no. If you tell Jerry Jones no,
then you got problems. And some agent decided that he
(20:12):
was gonna shove it into Jerry Jones's face and say no.
And we know the story now that Jerry believed he
had an agreement, he had a handshake deal with Michaeh.
Parsons back in April, and then the agent said no.
The guy trying to make a name for himself, you know,
no name agent in a tailored suit, and Jerry decided, okay,
(20:34):
I'm gonna burn the house down. Now. We didn't think
he would do it. We were skeptics of Michaeh Parson's
trade happening. We're also skeptics of Michael Parsons's. It's still
a crazy, crazy town trade to say we're gonna trade
a twenty six year old defensive player, Michaeh Parsons, for
a couple of tokens. And we see in the claw
(20:57):
machine there's some headphones in there and looks like there's
like an iPhone, and we're gonna use our tokens and
try to win the claw machine, but you're likely gonna
get nothing, And so doctors do not recommend it unless
you're Jerry Jones. And you must prove that you've still
got the biggest, baddest belt buckle in the room, and
(21:19):
you don't mess with the belt buckle of Jerry Jones.
And Jerry was challenged by David Mullaghetta, the agent, and
he got offended by Mullaghetta, and he made a move
out of spite. And this is a f around and
find out chart brought to life animation for the f
(21:39):
Around and find Out chart for that agent. Parsons camp thought, well,
Jerry wouldn't do it. He's not gonna do it. No, no,
no no, And they thought he'd cave in too old.
He's not like Big Balls Bob there in Vegas. He
wouldn't be able to do it. They figured the Cowboys
brand was too big a risked Jerry Jones would not
(21:59):
give up up the Star. But Jones loves star players.
Every man, woman and child knows Jerry Jones loves star players.
And Jerry said, you know what I'm gonna show you.
I am going to trade you to the frozen Tundra.
Get out of here. So Parsons goes from eating delicious
Texas barbecue brisket out of the smoker, he leaves that
(22:23):
behind and now he'll be eating delicious cheese curds. He'll
be recording his podcast on a pontoon boat on Lake Winnebego.
That's what they'll be doing, assuming he can get one
of those satellite hookups of the Internet. And he went
from the Star on the helmet, Michael Parsons to a town.
I heard this from somebody and my brother lives not
(22:44):
far away from lambeau Field. But the biggest media person
in Green Bay is a guy named Bill who runs
a packers blog out of his garage. But he's really popular,
I really really find so Dallas was the number Fivember
five million markets five green Bay number seventy, number seventy.
(23:07):
So that is not a drop off. That is a
free fall in free fall. And it's kind of like
going from hosting Good Morning America to doing weather hits
in Glendive, Montana. Did you know that Glendive, Montana is
the lowest ranked television market in America. It does not
(23:30):
go lower than glen Dive, Montana. That is as low
as it goes. So the endorsement dollars, they're not all gone,
but lower visibility lowered for Micah Parsons. Now that being said,
he can enjoy all the different kinds of cheeses available
over in Kenosha at the Cheese Castle. So he's got that.
(23:52):
And Parsons can get a statue, not next to Lombardi,
he can get one next to Harry Houdini over in
Appleton Harry Houdini Museum over there and hang out now
Page two, Is it true? Is it true that Jerry
Jones had doubts about Michael Parsons showing up in big moments.
(24:13):
So I am nodding my head. Yes, you can't see
me unless you're watching on the YouTube, and I'm nodding
my head. Just they don't call him Micah the mirage
for nothing like. Parsons has had a lot of sizzle.
In fact, I would say playing for the Cowboys, he's
had more sizzle than that. The heat of platter at
(24:33):
El tourto You know, there's a lot of sizzle there,
and yet when the lights hit brightest in the big games,
he's Casper the pass rusher is what he is, and
you see the outline, you feel some pressure, but there's
no real impact there. Poof he goes, he goes limp
(24:54):
And Michael Parsons is the kind of player and it's
a lot like Dak Prescott where he will dominate from
the beginning of the year and then he'll dominate in
the middle of October and disappear by the time we
get to January, which is problematic unless they change the
NFL calendar and play the postseason a different time. He's
(25:16):
the defensive version of a fireworks factory. In theory, a
fireworks factory is very explosive, kaboom, a very explosive, right,
But when the fuse is lit in crunch time, all
you get is a dud, a puff of smoke, and
a sad crown bone. And that's it and an example.
(25:37):
And no one's talking about this, but I believe it
is a central part of why Micah Parsons was traded.
We mentioned the agent, and that's certainly a big part
of this. But let's go back in the hot up
time machine. We're going to go to the twenty twenty
three playoffs early twenty twenty four, a disastrous, dismal Cowboy
playoff loss at home two of all teams, the Green
(25:59):
Bay Packers in the wild card round. Micah Parsons was
a no show. Now, what is my evidence? He was
a no show watching that game, But also the statue,
Also the statue, didn't you know for the first three
quarters of that NFL playoff game in Dallas that you
(26:20):
had and I had as many tackles and as many
sacks as Michaeh Parsons. The Cowboys were down forty one
to sixteen going to the fourth quarter of that playoff game,
and then Michaeh. Parsons made a couple of plays in
the fourth quarter when the game was well over, well over,
and I recall how upset Jerry Jones was, and he
(26:41):
was one of the stars that did not shine bright.
He was a falling star, Michah Parsons in that game.
And you gotta think somewhere somewhere in the mind of
Jerry Jones, and that was a factor. You just have
to think that somewhere in the back of his head,
all right now, final point. Michael Parsons issued a prepared statement.
(27:05):
He went on social media and issued a statement on
his trade going to the state of Wisconsin from the
state of Texas. He said, quote, I never wanted this
chapter to end, Parsons sent out on the socials, but
not everything was in my control, he wrote. Prepared statement continues,
Parsons wrote, my heart has always been here, meaning Dallas
(27:29):
and still is. Parsons said, well, that's because you haven't
flown to Wisconsin anyway. Now, he said, through it all,
I never he said, never made any demands. I never
asked for anything more than fairness. I only asked that
the person I trust and negotiate my contract can be
part of the process. Close quote, So can you parse
(27:51):
the words? Can you parse the words of Micah Parsons
saying I never wanted this chapter to end? Can you
parse the words? So my first thought on this is
what are the chances Michaeh. Parsons actually wrote that I'm
gonna go zero point zero zero. That's my guess. You
(28:13):
want to go lower than that? Okay, you lower than that?
So Parsons was playing with matches and he ended up
starting a five alarm inferno. Is what he did because
he positioned himself as the harmless victim in this prepared statement.
And that is a mix of utter nonsense and a
(28:37):
half truth. Utter nonsense and a half truth that Michaeh
Parsons is completely innocent. I just wanted fairness, and that's
all I wanted because I recall the last Cowboy exhibition game.
Michah Parsons had an absolute conniption fit, a hissy fit
during that final exhibition game against the Atlanta Falcons. He
looked like Mo Howard doing slapstick comedy with the Three Stooges.
(29:04):
You had bad body language, the mannerisms, the gyrations, all that.
What are your examples Ben. I'll give you my examples now.
Parsons was spotted eating those delicious stadium nachos in the
hallway right before the game started, right before kickoff. Well,
he didn't play the game. I know, it's just bad decorum.
(29:24):
He was also during the game spotted for a moment
or two lying on the trainer's table like he had
been shot from a bazooka while the Cowboys were on offense.
So there's that. And he also did the call me
gesture with his hand, you know how you make your
hand a phone like, hey, call me. He did the
call me gesture to a group of Falcon fans in
(29:46):
the bleachers who wanted him to go to Atlanta. So
the only thing missing was the twin pronged poke in
the eye. Y, yeah, that's the only thing missing. But
he did do a little bit of mohouard, little bit
of mohoward. Three stooges, and the common denominator. The common
denominator in this is again the agent David mula Getta.
(30:10):
That's the villain in this. That's the guy. He wants
to be the next Drew Rosenhous. He wants to be
the Scott Boris of baseball, and I respect the hustle.
I respect the hustle. And Jerry says that he had
the outline of this contract done in April, and then
Mula Getta tossed a monkey ranch into the deal. I
(30:33):
tossed a monkey ranch into the deal. And the agent
acts on behalf of the client. Anyone that's ever been
in a job where you've had an agent, I've had
an agent. Obviously not a good one. I'm still doing overnights,
but I had an agent and the agent acts on
behalf of me when I had an agent, and they
are working for you in this case, they're working for
Michael Parsons. And to rephrase this, at any point, at
(30:57):
any time, the client in this case, Michael Parsons could
have intervened and said, listen, I appreciate this. I've worked
out the logistics on this. This is the deal I want.
And you know, man, a man, old school. I met
with Jerry Jones. This is the deal he offered me.
This is the deal I accepted. So just make sure
that everything's you know, good, cross the t's dot the ies.
(31:19):
I'm good. But that's not what happened, MOI get is
like Screwjerry Jones. I'm going to get my chunk of
the money here, and I'm going to get more money
out of Jerry, And so he ends up going to
green Bay. Now the other part of this and we'll
get into another conspiracy later. How about this for a conspiracy?
Did Jordan Love? Is it true? Is it true that
(31:42):
Jordan Love played a role in this happening, that he
facilitated this particular trade between Green Bay and Dallas, that
Jordan Love was involved this? Now, what is my evidence
on that? If you if you look at the agent
Move Aghetta here, you have to wonder if it was
(32:03):
orchestrated because among his other clients Jordan Love. So Michaeh
Parsons agent shares he shares his agent with among other
NFL players during Love. So is it conceivable that Move
the Ghetta weaponized Jordan Love and said, hey, Jordan, can
you do me a solid and go to the Packers
(32:25):
and say that my guy would love to play there,
even though he probably doesn't, but see if they'll give
you the money. They got the space, and so he did.
And there you go. I'm just throwing that out there.
Just let that breathe a little bit. You can let that
breathe a little bit. And so the agent here acting
on behalf of the client unless they're not. And now
(32:45):
Micah will go to Green Bay and he gets the
most money ever for a non quarterback. Good for him,
which is important because you know, twenty nine degree days
in December in Green Bay. You need really nice ear muffs,
and you need really good wolf socks. You gotta have
those really good wolf socks and a nice parker. Those
are three items that you need. And so he'll have those.
(33:07):
He'll be able to buy the really nice wolf socks,
some solid ear muffs, and a really nice parker. He'll
get all of those things.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
It's Mallard. How about that?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
To the third degree? This is one big fan gets grilled.
Speaker 5 (33:29):
Koopolo Rushie Rice was handed a six game suspension for
his involvement in a multi car crash last year, and
Rice won't be appealing the ruling.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Ben.
Speaker 5 (33:38):
How much of an impact is this going to have
on the chief season, Well, he'll be.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Back by the time the games get pretty important. Kansas
City showed last year they can manage the game, Andy Reid.
They did not have a great offense last year with Mahomes,
and they still were able to win those games. And
they have Xavier Worthy Hollywood Brown at the start of
the year. So those guys get hurt and the rotting
corpse of Juju Smith Schuster, so there's there's enough to
(34:02):
work with there, and you know, some of those guys
are gonna get hurt. That's the problem. Right now, they're fine.
When those guys start getting hurt, that's the problem, but
they'll they'll end up going four and to it worse
to start the year.
Speaker 5 (34:14):
Next, an NFL writer for Sports Illustrated predicted that Jackson
Dart will start thirteen games this season for the Giants.
Ben Are you taking the under?
Speaker 1 (34:23):
I liked it, he said, thirteen, not fourteen, not twelve.
He went with thirteen. Of course, I'm gonna take the
under because even if he Russell Wilson's gonna get replaced
at some point. But you don't know if dark Jackson
Dart's gonna be good or if he's gonna get hurt,
so you always got to go under.
Speaker 5 (34:36):
Next, Mark Cuban made a podcast appearance this week where
he said that he will go to his grave convinced
that the six NBA Finals was stolen from the Mavericks.
You don't agree with Cuban on much, Ben, but how
about this one.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
No, It's absolutely correct. It was ridiculous. It was a
clown show. How many times Dwayne Wade got to the
foul line. It was embarrassing. There was funny business going on.
Speaker 5 (34:55):
How do we doubt you pass this edition?
Speaker 1 (34:56):
I love and Dwayne Wade just took some more foul.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app. Search FSR to
listen live Knock Knock, Who's there?
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Blame Weed, Blame week too. It's Big Ben's lame joke
of the week. Anyway you go, Big Beds lame jokes
of the week or the rest of the hour, believe
it or not, the rest of the hour. Like to
point out that this portion of the Ben Malach showman
possible by Express Informent Professionals. Is it time for a
(35:38):
new job, then it's time for express employment professionals. With
the endless online job search and list the pros and
Express never charges job seekers a fee. Go to expresspros
dot com. Let's say he lord to the weed Man
in Miami, our buddy, longtime radio caller, Weedman Hippie whose
name did come up multiple times, a man of mystery.
At the mallor meet and greet in Vegas, people were
(35:59):
asking me about weed Man Hippy. Hello, weed Man, make
me laugh. You gotta get that Vegas show. Weed Man,
you'll dominate man. I know, super Marcus Steve will pay
for some tickets if you go to Vegas.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
That'd be great.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Yeah, all right, well let's do this. Here's the actual jokes. Well,
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelcey, it turns out their engagement
has actually been called off. Wow. Why yeah, there was Well,
it turns out there was a booth review and it
showed that Travis's knee never actually touched the ground, so
it does not count. That's Stephen Denver. That's Stephen Denver.
Speaker 5 (36:33):
That's actually really good, thank you.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Why didn't Mouthwash Mike attend to meet and Greek Why? Well,
apparently there was a dental convention in Vegas and they're
giving away free samples mouthwash, So that's why you're doing that. Yeah.
What do putin and keg drinking Steve have in common?
What they both love white Russians. That's an era Eric
(37:02):
in Kansas? Why do well? Why does Why does Mike
the Leprechaun want to be a boardop? Why? Because he
really loves driving people to boredomb to boredom? That threw.
That's our buddy, Drew in Minnesota. Everything good with you,
weed Man? Life good? Yes, yes, all right. What do
(37:25):
you call an event that Rex Ryan plans on attending?
What malord meat and feet malor meat? That's that's Kurt
from Earth. What does Mike the Leprechaun's parrots say? What
he says? Ben? When are you coming to Boston? Ben?
(37:46):
When are you coming to Boston? Ben? When are you
coming to funk? That's a chip in man, That's that's
pretty funny. That's a funny joke from shipping me. Very
good joke writer, and sent some great cookies. Uh, I
guess a couple of years back. Now, how likely is
it that Blair in Maine will get a girlfriend? How likely?
About as likely as we hear from Ed and Arlington
(38:09):
about Michaeh Parsons that's a Noah in Austin. Well, yeah,
it's more of a baseball guy. But it's a good joke.
Why did lead a Lap Fox sports radio producer Lead
a Lap start taking flying lessons? Why? Well, he wants
to add it to his repertoire. He'd like to start
crop dusting something other than the rena. So that said George,
(38:34):
George and Valdi. Very a lot of flatulence there from Lee.
Why does David Vassay always respond to Mallard's insults? Why
because he can't let them slide slide? That's Vassay was
the guy that went down the slide in Milwaukee. He's
(38:57):
like a Dodger guy and he broke his arm going
down the slide. No dangerous in Milwaukee? Who did? Who
is David Vessey's favorite caller to the Ben Maler Show?
Who Dick in Dayton? That's I was fur Dog. We
sent that one in, all right, and we move on.
(39:17):
What do you call weed man after he's been pepper
sprayed and mustard gas? Oh? No, what seasoned get little mustard?
Little pepper there? Hey you you that was from Noah.
By the way, Noah's in Austin. It's been a while
weed Man, since you've been arrested. Congratulations. Is this the
(39:38):
longest you've gone without being arrested by the cops. Yeah,
that's pretty impressive. You were getting arrested every other week
back in the day. We were trying to find your
mudshot online. What is weed Man's next job going to be?
What marriage counselor? That's Eric and Kas Is Lisa there? Hello? Lisa?
(39:59):
Is Lisa there? He's not there tonight? Okay? What was
weed Man's favorite game growing up? What hash tag?
Speaker 5 (40:09):
That's it?
Speaker 1 (40:10):
That's it Man? All right, that's our buddy Chip in Maine.
But weed Man, what is the number three? What is
the number three?
Speaker 2 (40:20):
What?
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Three is the number of times David Veasse rolled around
while crying like a little girl after breaking his arm
on a slide in Milwaukee. That's Lucky Tony. I got
to meet that guy, Lucky Tony. He's on my short
list of the calls I want to meet when we
do the Bay Area meet and greet, maybe we'll meet him.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
All right.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Why do vampires avoid corporate executive jobs? Why they're afraid
of stakeholders? Reggie, that's a classic dad joke from Reggie
in Detroit. Well, you steal a man's wallet and he'll
be poor for a day. Weed man, you heard about that? No, yeah,
but if you teach him to play a musical instrument,
(41:00):
he'll be poor for the rest of his life. That's
Manny from Fresno. Well, some big entertainment news to hear.
The Incredible Hulk is getting his own show on HGTV.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Wow. Cool.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Yeah, they said he's amazing at flipping houses, so they're
gonna get him a gig. As Damp from Delaware. Why
has the recent immigration crackdown led to lower occupancy rates
in Vegas? This is from surfer Toby cam Why. Why
Because they have ice on every floor? That's why? All right?
And uh, what's an illiterate person's favorite DJ?
Speaker 4 (41:39):
What?
Speaker 1 (41:40):
DJ scribble? That's from Eric in Kansas. Thank your weak Man.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 5 (41:53):
All right, Ben, we are going to start off in theaters.
And it feels weird not being tossed to by Marcea. Marcel.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Yeah, Marcel slacking a little bit, I've noticed.
Speaker 5 (42:06):
Yeah, I don't know what that's about. Maybe maybe he's
sleeping in.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Maybe he's on the Morning Jab again up there in Maine.
Speaker 5 (42:13):
Right, all right, So we're gonna start in the theaters.
And there's a couple of movies out this weekend that
I want to point out. The first one is called
Cot Stealing and it stars Austin Butler and he was, Yes,
he played Elvis and the Elvis biopic.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
No idea, who there is?
Speaker 5 (42:31):
He's the He's the big up and coming, like you know,
the heart throw actor he was. He plays a high
school baseball phenom who can't play anymore, but everything else
in his life is going okay. He's got a great
girl who was played by Zoe Kravitz. His favorite team
is making an underdog run at the pennant, and then
his punk rock neighbor played by Matt Smith, asked him
to take care of his cat few days. For a
(42:52):
few days. He suddenly find himself caught in the middle
of a motley crew of threatening gangsters and they all
want a piece of him and he doesn't know why.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yes, i'd also figure I'll be figured it out in
an hour and a half.
Speaker 5 (43:04):
Yeah, I'm sure he will. This movie is directed by
Darren Aronofsky and it also stars Regina King and Leev
Schreiber and Vincent Dinofrio. Oh and Bad Bunny is also
in there.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Oh, bad Bunnie. I know who Bad Bunny is?
Speaker 5 (43:18):
Ye, yeah, there's that. Isn't he dating Kendall Jenner?
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Is he playing a waiter in this or Caddy or something?
Speaker 5 (43:25):
I don't know. But another movie out this weekend if
you want to, you know, if you want to go
to something that your wife might be uh into. That's
called The Roses. And I don't know much about this movie,
but it stars Benedett Cumberbatch and Olivia Coleman. And they
are a.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Picture perfect We're going to flower shop somewhere and there.
Speaker 5 (43:48):
I mean, hey, they might be it's it's there. They
are a picture perfect couple with successful careers, the loving marriage,
great kids. But beneath the facade of their supposed ideal life,
a storm is brewing. Oh right, that's right.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
Oh I hate when that happens.
Speaker 5 (44:05):
The guy's career notes it dies, Lorena.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Said, my head once he said there's swingers is a
swingers man? I said it in confidence. Oh are they
really sorry? I apologize? No, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (44:18):
I get so excited. I just I didn't know that
that was a twist to the movie. But apparently it's
not just making a job. But Alison Janny and and yeah,
and Andy Samberg are also in this movie. There is
a movie coming out about that though about swingers. Oh
all right, well, I don't know if it's this one.
This one's called The Roses and it is out this weekend.
Moving over to television, and it's been a long time
(44:39):
since since we have done a coop scoop on entertainment,
just for different different reasons. Yeah, I was out Friday,
you were out Friday. And so I'm going to bring
up a documentary series on Netflix. It's been out there
for a couple of weeks. But so I've watched the
whole thing already, but I have not talked about it
on this show. It's called It for TV and it
(45:02):
is a three part documentary series on the the cultural
phenomenon that was the biggest loser on NBC back in
the day.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Oh I remember that show. Yeah, pretty popular for a
couple of.
Speaker 5 (45:13):
Years, it was apparent and I didn't even realize how
popular it was. Like I watched a couple of seasons
of it back when it was on. Oh oh, and
that's Coop'scoop Entertainment.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
There you go. Coop's worried about that brick wall he
was about to run into. There's the wall, Coop, you
just ran into the wall.
Host
Ben Maller
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