October 4, 2025 • 29 mins
Ben Maller & Danny G. Radio have a fun Saturday podcast for you! They talk: MLB Playoffs, Ben Pissing Off Dodger Fans Again, the Drop Off, Hard Selling Seaweed, & more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air everywhere.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Maller and Danny G
Radio A happy college football kind of a Saturday, and
we have baseball action today, the divisional round of the
baseball Playoffs. Great planning by Major League Baseball, Danny G
to have it on a college football Saturday. Really want
that full spotlight all to yourself, and boy are.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
They gonna get it. Absolutely yikes. We got action all
day long.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Now we obviously here in SoCal in the LA area,
and I think the first game is at eleven this morning,
LA time.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
So yeah, yeah, And I heard a promo on the
network you dog in the Dodgers again saying they have
no momentum going into this series.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Well, as you know, there is no such thing as momentum.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Wrong now I will address that a special emergency emergency
Mallard monologue, and I will call it Danny the big
Blue kool Aid.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Cult is what I'm going to call it.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
But we'll get to that also the drop off and
the seaweed standoff on this edition of The Fifth Hour. Now,
I am planning on watching college football quite a bit today,
but I like baseball obviously, so I'll be flipping around
to check that out. So my remote control is going
(01:57):
to be getting quite the workout today. And if you
look at the gambling market, though, and you see who's
favorite in these games. The first game today is the
Brewers and the Cubs. And I was I was actually
in I was in Kenosha. I drove from Chicago to
visit my brother a couple of years ago, and we
(02:18):
stopped at the Cheesecastle in Kenosha, and it just happened
that the Cubs were playing the Brewers that night, and
the place was filled with Cub fans.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Like you know, it's a short.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Trip from Chicago to Milwaukee, so I can only imagine
what this is gonna be. Like Freddie Peralta versus Matthew Boyd,
who's left handed on the Mountain for the Cubs, who'll
be exactly the Brewers a minus one forty eight favorite
with Freddie Parolt in that game. Then after that you
got Toronto hosting the Yankees today Louis Heal and Kevin
(02:50):
Gossman and the blue Jays minus one twenty.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
I think you just made that name up right now.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Well, yeah, a lot of these pictures are like, how
are they in the playoffs? Gosman though, is the blue
Jays favored minus one twenty four although there is more
money coming in on the Yankees. And then after that
the game that we're most interested in, the Doyers and
the Fighting Phills Christopher Sanchez versus show Hey O'tani.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Show, Hey Otani and the.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Dodgers and underdog the Phillies are the favorite to win
that game at minus one fifteen. And then the nightcap
in prime time at eight thirty eight Eastern five thirty
eight in the West, when the Tigers and Mariners get together,
Danny g you throw out the records.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
You know why?
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Why?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Because if you looked at the record now.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
All right, the Robbie the Mariner fan, the big Dumper
his Mariners with George Kirby minus two hundred favorites over
someone named Troy Melton of the Tigers.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Wow, I don't know who that is.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Well, let's get to this. You mentioned it.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
You brought it up, Danny, the promos that have been
running NonStop here and this has been going on for
a couple weeks now ever since. Yours truly just a
random overnight gas bag. I like to think of truth teller,
an occasional agitator, like to stir the pot.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Now. I had the goal, I had the Hootzpa.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
You're like the Manny Machado of radio.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
I had the hoodspur to point out the obvious about
the twenty twenty five Dodgers, and as I anticipated, the
fanboys have been spitting nails my direction. So I did
a couple of hour monologues recently on the Overnight Show,
speaking the gospel, pointing out the frailties of this team.
The twenty twenty five bullpen, I call it the Chevron bullpen,
(04:48):
pumping gas and on fires and going the extra mile
to burn the thing up. The one that still gets
the most attention has been the one where I pointed
out how ridiculous and over the top of the state funeral,
including a burial for Clayton Kershaw, the bane of our
existence as Dodger supporters in the playoffs, who cost the
(05:10):
Dodgers at least three extra World championships with his mouth
FeAs And so I pointed that out, and we said
that what we did is we said the quiet part
out loud about mookie Bets for four months. He was
a ghost, a high priced ghost, mookie Bets. And so
the outrage on cue. The outrage started up, the fire breathing.
(05:32):
And it's not just from random people who listened to
the radio, but people I were with. Roberto, a bus driver,
was all upset with me. Manuel from Guardina angry. The
rest of the Dodger kool aid, the big blue kool
Aid cult, immediately branded me a hater. Manuel and Guardina
said I was a Giants fan, which I think, which
is worse like a trader of the whole thing. And
(05:55):
why because this is again a reminder in the modern world.
If you dare criticize the millionaire ballplayers wearing your team's laundry,
you're a bad fan.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
You're a bad what's wrong with you?
Speaker 5 (06:10):
All right?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
So to me, it's nonsense, it's I've always been the
same way. It's not like I haven't, It's just the
way I'm wired. And the truth is, no one at
Dodger Stadium they don't want to hear it.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
They want guys like Vasay.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
To get on the radio and lick their toes, and
so nobody wants to hear in between the mariachi bands
and the drone shows at Dodger Stadium what real fans
are like, right, and what they should be like holding
people accountable, not just nodding along because you're a three
hundred and sixty five million dollars shortstop is batting two
(06:46):
thirty eight after ninety four games?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
I mean just it blows me away. Is there any
other job you can be that bad at for that long?
And people are like, well, that's fine.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Imagine not showing up to work for four months, and
you'll see how long your boss lets you before the
security walks you out with a little cardboard box. I
know I've been there, I've been there, but this is
what the modern fan has become. It drives me bonkers, right,
just mascots, cheerleaders, corporate dupes who think criticism is some
(07:16):
kind of betrayal, and it drives me nuts. They don't
they don't want reality, they want fairy tales. And they
and I love Vin Scully. I knew vent a little bit.
They want Vin Scully nostalgia wrapped in bobblehead giveaways. Give
me seventeen Otani bobblehead giveaways. I'm happy, right. And we
come from the old country when fans were tough, they
(07:38):
were not soft. And the term is it's two words,
tough love, higher standards. And some of you call it
cranky and curmudgeony, you know, negative.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
I call it saint.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Because what the Dodgers have been this season is not
dominance right to me, it's deja vu of some years
gone by here and they were projected to win one
hundred and five and a half.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Games this season.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
This is going to be one of the all time
great teams stack roster and because of Mookie Betts under achieving,
the bullpen underachieving, this super team won ninety three games.
Ninety three games is what the Dodgers won, and they
had to play well the last couple of weeks to
get to ninety three wins. Now that means on the
Malord big board, not a list. Terry in England, not
(08:29):
a list. The Dodgers underachieved, right. They won, if my
math has scared, about fifteen percent fewer games than they
were projected to win, and they were outplayed by the
Milwaukee Brewers and the Toronto Blue Jays, among other won
more games than this super Dodger team, the greatest team
(08:51):
ever assembled.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
So yeah, go ahead, I'm the bad guy.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
You can call me a fraud of phone he send
me your nasty emails and all that stuff. Anything to
avoid confronting the Komodo dragon in the room, the fire
breathing dragon the corner of the Dodgers. Listen, they floated
along during the rest of it. Doesn't mean I don't
want them to win. I hope they win. I'd love
for this team to it. But even if they win
the World Series, it does not change the fact that
Mookie bets for ninety four games was terrible.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
The bullpen was an embarrassment.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
So go out, eat cheese steaks, enjoy the soft pretzels
in Philadelphia, and slay the Phillies and have a great weekend.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
And that's wonderful and all that.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
However, again, just to put a ball on this Danny
that the Dodger myth lives on is blind loyalty mixed
with corporate spin and bots and all that online on
social media, and then anyone who points it out like
the other part of is oh you shouldn't do that.
Oh my god, kay stop, I.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Just laugh at I think it's hilarious.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
I look at their record.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
I mean, Tanner Scott alone accounts for could have accounted
for ten more wins worse.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
I mean to have ten blown saved.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
But that was their big pickup. That was the guy
that everyone said is gonna put him over the top.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
And the Bullen well looked. He looked good when he
was a padre. In his case, he went backwards. I'm
not sure why.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
I know.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
I read an article where he said he was just
having the worst season of his career. And obviously there
were injuries. They had to battle like a lot of
other teams. But now you see Roki come in and close.
He was hurt all throughout the season, so it looks
like they have him closer right now. Against the Phillies.
The Achilles heel is still the setup guys.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Yeah, the Phillies are much better than the Reds are,
like a Triple A team. The Phillies are a big
time team. The games are going to be close. I
just don't see this bullpen being able to get it done.
If you're the Phillies, you don't have to have a
league going to the seventh inning. You can be down
by two runs going to the seventh inning. Once Dave
Roberts makes the walk of shame and says I really
(10:56):
liked him in the spot, and they can know.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Guys like Vesia have been soon are inconsistent this season,
Guys where you have no confidence when they walk in
if you don't have a lead. If you're the Dodgers,
you need a lead of five runs. That happened against
the Reds, You're right, that's not going to happen against
teams like the Phillies. There's going to be, you know,
games that are three to one, three to two, and
(11:19):
if you have one of those yakers come in and
they vomit all over the mound, suddenly you're going to
be in a hole. Let's see if they use some
of the starters back to back, that would be the
way to go. But you know Friedman and his puppet
Dave Roberts, they probably won't go that route.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Out of an abundance of caution, Danny, out of an
abundance of caution, they will not do do that at
this point. Again, We'll see, we'll watch later today. We'll
see what the Dodgers do. See if they get to
jump on the Phillies with Otani. What do you think
Otani goes four innings today?
Speaker 5 (11:49):
What do you think four?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Or five? Tops?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Probably five? But yeah, the Bats need to stay alive.
They need to get on the board early, and often
they need to take like a five to one lead
in the game. If they get behind against a team
like the Phillies, it's going to be a long night.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Well, maybe you can do the drop off, Danny and
give them some relief pitchers. I don't think you're allowed
to add relief pitchers, but you can possibly contact them
and I think I know what hotel they're staying at
in Philadelphia and you can go do your thing.
Speaker 5 (12:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Well, Friedman didn't want to spend any more money this season.
He at the trade deadline, they let the Padres and
the Mets and other teams get the players that were
out there available. Hey, remember that headline at the trade
deadline that Padres and Mets won the trade deadline.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Oh well yeah, man, well that was the thing. But
I still and I actually defended Danny. I defended aj Preller,
the GM of the Padres like it obviously didn't work
out for the Padres.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
They got to end up losing the Cubs.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
But I love the fact that the Padres threw caution
to the win they traded. Was it eight of their
top ten minor league players to get all these relief pitchers.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
And build a super pin.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
And then the great thing about baseball is the reason
the pod his loss to the Cubs is because the
guys they already had Fernando to thiast the peacock.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I think he batted like ninety three or something like that.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Manny Machado didn't hit and you Darvish you that was
the you Darvers I saw in the twenty seventeen World
Series in Game seven against the cheating as holes. We
don't say that, you know, we can, we don't have
to pause. But Game seven, well they were cheating, but
still remember game something. It was over by the second inning.
(13:28):
The cheaters had such a big lead because Darvers was
so bad in that game.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
So it was a.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Mess as far as a drop off, I know I
talked about this a few weeks back, and there were
a couple of comments about it in the mail bag. Sense,
but good news and bad news. We finally found a
pre school that CoA can attend.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
I love my suit news. You remember we.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Took the tour of that monassory and everybody got sick
just from being anywhere near their germs there. Brenda and
I were almost like celebrating because it was amazing to
find a place that wasn't two thousand dollars a month. Sure,
now it's half that and it's part time, so it's
still a lot of money. And any parent listening right
(14:17):
now knows what we've been dealing with. We get to
this school and a great location. It is connected to
the college that our oldest attended at Kawlu. A lot
of the faculty members have their kids at this preschool
one month score, great staff, really nice yard with a
(14:39):
huge sandbox and a tricycle race track and a treehouse.
And I mean CoA was in heaven when we took
him to the orientation. He's running around, you would have
thought he was at Disneyland.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Nice.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
So the first picture I sent you is CoA a
week ago day one at pre school.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Now, remember he's never been off his mom's.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Boob as far as being in the care of somebody else. Yeah,
I'm with him every morning from you know, seven thirty
am until I leave for Covino and Rich at one pm.
Speaker 5 (15:12):
So this is a new thing.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
And it's weird because, you know, the first day we'd
take him for day one of school, he's in that
picture I sent you smiling. We told him, Okay, we're
going to go now, we'll pick you up after work,
and he's like, no, no, no, but not because he
didn't want us to leave. He thought we were trying
to take him. He wanted to stay and.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Play good good.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
So we're like, oh, perfect, okay, he doesn't even care
that we're leaving. Reality set in. We try to take
him on day two, which now is a day later
because he's Monday, Wednesday, Friday. So we try to take
him back on Wednesday, and now he knows what's going
to happen, because somewhere along the way on Monday he
(15:54):
figured out where are they. Oh shit, I'm stuck here
nap time for two hours. Look these adults at this place,
they're crazy. Yeah, and you know, this candy is a
nap from twelve thirty to two thirty.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
Are you nuts?
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Wednesday, we try to do the drop off and Ben,
there are other kids there who have just started at
the preschool, and they're like whimpering, kind of clinging onto
their mom or dad, a little bit of tears rolling
down their cheek. They look depressed. That's not how CoA rolls.
How can I even describe it? I guess he's a thespian.
(16:34):
He is a future actor who he made the biggest
scene at any of these schools. And remember, I've had
my years at a lot of school campuses, so I've
seen kids get dropped off for the first time. I've
seen kids melt down. Oh my god, I wish I
could act it out. I'm not as good of an
(16:55):
actor as he is. Or if some of these emotions
were real, then we're in trouble here because I don't
know how long he's going to.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Be at this preschool. He was screaming.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
Mama, no, no, no, Mama no, and clinging onto her leg.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
There's a side gate.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
So when we left and I had to pull Brenda away,
I'm like, come on, we gotta let him just go.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
Through it.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
He's having a meltdown. But they've you know, I'm sure
that they've had this happen before, even though we didn't
see any other kids doing this. So we're getting in
the car and she goes to the side gate. It's
like a movie.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
Ben.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
It looked like he was a prisoner trying to reach
his hand through the gate and he is screaming.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
No, Mama, don't leave.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
No.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
We're driving away from the preschool, and of course Brenda
is plubbering in the car.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
It has gotten no better.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Monday Wednesday again, and we held him back this past
Friday because he was under the weather. Of course, he
was a week and a half at a daycare or preschool.
What do you think is going to happen. He's got
a runny nose and a cold.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah, it's like a wet market in China.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
It's a lot of oh yeah, you know the college
kids they have the frat flu.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Yeah, already he's got the kinder flu.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
The question is, when we get out of this weekend
and we get back to Monday, is he going to
keep with the theatrics those meltdowns only intensified.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah, he'll he'll get over it. It might be a
month or two before he gets over, but I.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Guess he settles in after a half hour, calms down
and he settles in.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
But have you thought about bribing him? Is there a
way you could bribe him?
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Say if you're you know, you're good today, we'll give
you something extra after school or something like that.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
They have the mail bag.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
I mentioned that he loves Disney's cars right now and
he's been collecting all the characters.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
Yeah, so his mom has been trying that.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
He loves those mini cars and she's like, if you're
good after school, I'll take you to Target to get
some more minis and he says men. So he's excited
about that, but it doesn't help at the drop off.
Like at that drop off, you could tell him Mickey
Mouse himself is you know there on the playyard, and
he won't give a shit. He's just when he gets
(19:14):
focused on something or he's upset about something, that's just it.
Speaker 5 (19:18):
Sure, let's see.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
There's one other picture I'm gonna send you really quick,
and it's a prison photo. I don't think they intended
it to be a prison photo. The picture they took
of him on the playyard to put at his cubby
and it looks like a mug shot.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Yes, it does.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
It appears that he has been arrested. He is being processed.
Did they take his fingerprints? What was his crime, Danny?
Speaker 1 (19:46):
His crime.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Like you raised hell here for the first hour. Yeah,
it looked like he did some hard time, like some
hard labor that day, chain gang.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
It is holding up what a period? Is that an
orange he's holding up or an orange ball? I can't
He's holding something up with his right hand. I'm not
sure what that is, but that that does look like
a muckshot.
Speaker 5 (20:08):
That's funny. I think it's the gag that they took
out of his mouth. That's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
We've all been there. But yeah, yeah, good luck.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
I drove my parents and I hated, Oh god, I
couldn't stay my entire education.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I hated hated it, hated it, hated it.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Uh. One more thing here, and it's I wanted to
tell this because the other day I went to costco
oh oh with a very simple mission, Danny. I had
shampoo on my mind, body wash, iced coffee for the wife,
A couple of berry container strawberry raspberry, BlackBerry, in and out.
(20:46):
That's what a trip to Costco is all about clinical precision.
Had it all planned out, of course, that is not
how Costco works. That's not how any of this works
when you go to Costco. Nobody has ever gone into
Costco and left with only the thing they wrote on
their little shopping list or on their phone.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Right, it's impossible.
Speaker 5 (21:05):
You end up no a fifty planned fifty dollars trip
usually costs two hundred.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Dollars minimum two hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
You end up wandering those airplane hangar aisles like Magellan
and and pretty soon you know you've got olive oil
the size of a fire ex thing. We're sure you've
got a palette of eggs. I don't need that many eggs.
I'm not running a breakfast that place. You've got chicken
bouyon cubes that could you could make a soup for
(21:32):
the United States Marines.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
You know, it's just out of control.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
So I'm there the other day, and and then and
that's even before like you kind of get grazing. Once
you start get grazing, now that's it because because Costco
is it's it's it's an American midway, right, the gauntlet
free samples. Now sometimes it's the little corn dogs. Sometimes
it's little cheese cubes they have, and sometimes it's something
(21:57):
you didn't know you needed, like like aros and uh,
you know, some kind of frozen ice cream sandwich that
you didn't know about but looks pretty good. And and
you whatever they have you usually take because it's free,
right all he's kind of rules say, well, it's Costco free.
The samples are Costco's trojan horse. You came for the
shampoo you lead with, you know, a thing of dumplings.
(22:19):
I didn't even know they had dumplings here. Accepting the
reason I'm bringing this up not this time, because this
time I was minding my own business wandering around Costco.
I was solicited, not by a sales weasel hawking solar panels.
You know, when you go down Costco, it's like walking
down the boardwalk in Atlantic City. There's a bunch of
(22:42):
people that are trying to sell your stuff. When you
first go to Costco, they've got them all lined up, right,
They've got the cookingness.
Speaker 5 (22:47):
Oh I hate it, I have I just wave them
all off. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
My thing is I sidestep.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I go to the middle part of Costco to avoid
that part I've learned, I just don't want to deal
with people. So you walk down this aisle and they're
on the air conditioning, solar panels, the whole thing, and
you know you need tires, but you need deluxetis. Well, no,
I have tire rack, but no I need you need
these here and uh and so I was approached, not
by one of those people, by a man representing the
(23:13):
Kirkland brand, which I guess these are not actual Costco
employees they are they're hired third party, but uh, a
person working at the sample table. And you know, I
had the smile of a man convinced he was offering
you the secret to life itself?
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Would you like to try one of my samples?
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
He asked, kind of leaning forward, like you know, he's
letting me in on this little secret.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
You know.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
I was like, Oh, this is gonna be good, right,
and said, I'm in, I'm down, you know, I'm here,
and uh so I turned and kind of moved my
card over there, and there it was a little table
filled a little red tray filled with seaweed, not sushi,
not not you know, some people like the sushi Krispy
(23:59):
rice roll seaweed flat green salty sheet.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Oh yeah, you're talking about the stuffed kids take to
school as a snack.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Well, I never took it to school, so it's not.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
Well, no, we didn't. I'm talking about kids nowadays.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
I don't know. I don't know who knows.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
It's gross, it's in their teeth, it's yeah, I can
smell it. I smelled it on the kids I used
to take care of.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
So nasty.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
So I'm looking, I'm looking at this table, and I'm like,
you gotta be joking, right, I'm like, you know who
I am, even of course you don't know who I am.
But I'm like, I mean, just by my even if
you don't know who I am, just by looking at me,
I don't look like a seaweed eater.
Speaker 5 (24:34):
I don't you know.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
I don't like things that are green anyway, flat, green, salty,
the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I mean, seaweed is.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Just horrid, you know, It's just I can't. I hate
it when I'm going walking on the beach.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Anyway. So I did what any red blooded American would do.
I declined. I said, no way, I'm good.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I don't need to I don't need to snack on
the kelp that was brushed up against my leg the
last time I swam, you know.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Over in Newport. But then, of course fate happened.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
Danny.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I looped around the.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Store and I passed this gabbroni again and the poor
guy doubled down. I guess he forgot he had already
had this conversation with me.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
He gave me the full elevator pitch again.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Oh yeah, and now we know why he was seeking
people out, because who the hell wants seaweed?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Exactly, That's what I'm saying. So he somehow.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Believed in this seaweed, or at least he was being
quite the thespian as you said, your son, you know,
cause a festment. He wanted me to believe again and
again I refused. And here's the thing. I was not alone, Danny,
And you pointed out nobody, and I mean nobody was
taking the seaweed, not kids, not parents, not even the
(25:45):
old people that are scavengers who normally hawks. It was
the costco version of chernobyl. They finally found a sample
that was abandoned.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
It was radioactive, and that's it.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
And I've seen people take the crappiest samples, like recently
they had a table where they had like two broken
tortilla chips in each cup. People were reaching for these
damn things.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Uh yeah, And so that tells you everything.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
People don't turn down free food, as you know, and
I know we all know that they don't. They'll eat
your chicken nuggets that are half cooked on a toothpick.
They'll they'll eat heated ravioli which is still kind of
cold in the middle. As you said, the chips that
they'll eat whatever's on the train. Seaweed, though, that is
a point of demarcation. That is where the American public
(26:36):
draws the line. And Costco can sell you a kayak,
they can sell you a casket, they can sell you
a protein powder, the fuel a cult of CrossFit lunatics,
but they cannot make you eat seaweed.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
They can't do it. And I just thought it was hilarious.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
I mean, I've been going to cost for my my
tire adult life. I love Costco and I've never seen
that before. And meanwhile, two miles over right there's the
Little corn Dogs. There's a line that looked like it
was for Space Mountain at Disneyland.
Speaker 5 (27:09):
Right, freaking talk about competition.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
It's like people were camped out ready for waiting for
fifteen minutes for a stupid f and litle piece of
hot dog.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
And they were smiling, you know, freebie and all that.
But there you go.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
So that's that's my weekly Costco story. You walk in
with a plan, you leave with a shopping cart of
you know, the stuff you didn't need and regret that
you purchased. And somewhere in the middle there your face
with the great existential question of our time, seaweed or
no seaweeds? But no, you need this. Let me make
my pitch. No, I don't need your elevator pitch for me.
(27:48):
It's a no on seaweed. Every single time. I do
give the guy credit though, because you know, I'm assuming
these guys who do the samples.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
And the women don't know what they're going to when
they show up to work.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Like this guy was really into the job, and I'm
sure he's not making a lot of money, that doesn't
pay a lot, and yet he's still he's pitching that
thing like he's trying to you know, he's working for
bm trying to sell you on a BMW or something wild.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
It's the equivalent of you and Rob Parker's selling really
bad hot takes.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
How dare you listen?
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Rob's the og he's gotten the weekend, He's getting the
press box named after him.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I know it's coming up.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
Yeah, he's in New York right now as we speak,
and I guess they're going to have a little little
get together for him at our studios on Monday evening.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
That's great.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
I was actually going to try to get back to
I guess it's Connecticut, Central Connecticut or something.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
I forget what school says. School in Connecticut's naming their
press box after Rob. And I love Rob.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
I don't get to see him much as we worked
different hours, and actually was gonna he invited us to
me and my wife to go back to the event,
but unfortunately we couldn't make the travel.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
The travel happened. But anyway, we'll get out on that, Danny.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Hopefully the Dodgers do not let us down today and
win and all that.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
And let's go.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Oh yeah, let's hope that we can string together a
couple of really good pitchers after Otani.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
They got to have a seven run league going to
the eighth inning.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
I'll feel pretty good. Seven second book, pretty much. I
have a Dodger stress ball, and I'm not making that up.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Well, I will, I will, I'm expecting.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
See.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
The good thing about this is I've already determined they're
not good enough to win, so if they win, I'll
be happy. I've created in my own head nanny sports
fan insurance. I've already gone the arithmetic, I've done the
Mather math. They're not good enough to win, so if
they win, I'll be pleasantly surprised. I'll be pleasantly surprised.
Speaker 5 (29:32):
Anyway. All right, as you're hedging your bets.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
I'm not hedging my bets. I'm just calling like it is.
All right, having a wonderful rest of your Saturday.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Here, we'll be back.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
We get the mail bag on Sunday. Sunday, Sunday later.
Skater got a murder.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
I gotta go,
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air everywhere.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Maller and Danny G
Radio A happy college football kind of a Saturday, and
we have baseball action today, the divisional round of the
baseball Playoffs. Great planning by Major League Baseball, Danny G
to have it on a college football Saturday. Really want
that full spotlight all to yourself, and boy are.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
They gonna get it. Absolutely yikes. We got action all
day long.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Now we obviously here in SoCal in the LA area,
and I think the first game is at eleven this morning,
LA time.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
So yeah, yeah, And I heard a promo on the
network you dog in the Dodgers again saying they have
no momentum going into this series.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Well, as you know, there is no such thing as momentum.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Wrong now I will address that a special emergency emergency
Mallard monologue, and I will call it Danny the big
Blue kool Aid.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Cult is what I'm going to call it.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
But we'll get to that also the drop off and
the seaweed standoff on this edition of The Fifth Hour. Now,
I am planning on watching college football quite a bit today,
but I like baseball obviously, so I'll be flipping around
to check that out. So my remote control is going
(01:57):
to be getting quite the workout today. And if you
look at the gambling market, though, and you see who's
favorite in these games. The first game today is the
Brewers and the Cubs. And I was I was actually
in I was in Kenosha. I drove from Chicago to
visit my brother a couple of years ago, and we
(02:18):
stopped at the Cheesecastle in Kenosha, and it just happened
that the Cubs were playing the Brewers that night, and
the place was filled with Cub fans.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Like you know, it's a short.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Trip from Chicago to Milwaukee, so I can only imagine
what this is gonna be. Like Freddie Peralta versus Matthew Boyd,
who's left handed on the Mountain for the Cubs, who'll
be exactly the Brewers a minus one forty eight favorite
with Freddie Parolt in that game. Then after that you
got Toronto hosting the Yankees today Louis Heal and Kevin
(02:50):
Gossman and the blue Jays minus one twenty.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
I think you just made that name up right now.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Well, yeah, a lot of these pictures are like, how
are they in the playoffs? Gosman though, is the blue
Jays favored minus one twenty four although there is more
money coming in on the Yankees. And then after that
the game that we're most interested in, the Doyers and
the Fighting Phills Christopher Sanchez versus show Hey O'tani.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Show, Hey Otani and the.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Dodgers and underdog the Phillies are the favorite to win
that game at minus one fifteen. And then the nightcap
in prime time at eight thirty eight Eastern five thirty
eight in the West, when the Tigers and Mariners get together,
Danny g you throw out the records.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
You know why?
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Why?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Because if you looked at the record now.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
All right, the Robbie the Mariner fan, the big Dumper
his Mariners with George Kirby minus two hundred favorites over
someone named Troy Melton of the Tigers.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Wow, I don't know who that is.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Well, let's get to this. You mentioned it.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
You brought it up, Danny, the promos that have been
running NonStop here and this has been going on for
a couple weeks now ever since. Yours truly just a
random overnight gas bag. I like to think of truth teller,
an occasional agitator, like to stir the pot.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Now. I had the goal, I had the Hootzpa.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
You're like the Manny Machado of radio.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
I had the hoodspur to point out the obvious about
the twenty twenty five Dodgers, and as I anticipated, the
fanboys have been spitting nails my direction. So I did
a couple of hour monologues recently on the Overnight Show,
speaking the gospel, pointing out the frailties of this team.
The twenty twenty five bullpen, I call it the Chevron bullpen,
(04:48):
pumping gas and on fires and going the extra mile
to burn the thing up. The one that still gets
the most attention has been the one where I pointed
out how ridiculous and over the top of the state funeral,
including a burial for Clayton Kershaw, the bane of our
existence as Dodger supporters in the playoffs, who cost the
(05:10):
Dodgers at least three extra World championships with his mouth
FeAs And so I pointed that out, and we said
that what we did is we said the quiet part
out loud about mookie Bets for four months. He was
a ghost, a high priced ghost, mookie Bets. And so
the outrage on cue. The outrage started up, the fire breathing.
(05:32):
And it's not just from random people who listened to
the radio, but people I were with. Roberto, a bus driver,
was all upset with me. Manuel from Guardina angry. The
rest of the Dodger kool aid, the big blue kool
Aid cult, immediately branded me a hater. Manuel and Guardina
said I was a Giants fan, which I think, which
is worse like a trader of the whole thing. And
(05:55):
why because this is again a reminder in the modern world.
If you dare criticize the millionaire ballplayers wearing your team's laundry,
you're a bad fan.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
You're a bad what's wrong with you?
Speaker 5 (06:10):
All right?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
So to me, it's nonsense, it's I've always been the
same way. It's not like I haven't, It's just the
way I'm wired. And the truth is, no one at
Dodger Stadium they don't want to hear it.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
They want guys like Vasay.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
To get on the radio and lick their toes, and
so nobody wants to hear in between the mariachi bands
and the drone shows at Dodger Stadium what real fans
are like, right, and what they should be like holding
people accountable, not just nodding along because you're a three
hundred and sixty five million dollars shortstop is batting two
(06:46):
thirty eight after ninety four games?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
I mean just it blows me away. Is there any
other job you can be that bad at for that long?
And people are like, well, that's fine.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Imagine not showing up to work for four months, and
you'll see how long your boss lets you before the
security walks you out with a little cardboard box. I
know I've been there, I've been there, but this is
what the modern fan has become. It drives me bonkers, right,
just mascots, cheerleaders, corporate dupes who think criticism is some
(07:16):
kind of betrayal, and it drives me nuts. They don't
they don't want reality, they want fairy tales. And they
and I love Vin Scully. I knew vent a little bit.
They want Vin Scully nostalgia wrapped in bobblehead giveaways. Give
me seventeen Otani bobblehead giveaways. I'm happy, right. And we
come from the old country when fans were tough, they
(07:38):
were not soft. And the term is it's two words,
tough love, higher standards. And some of you call it
cranky and curmudgeony, you know, negative.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
I call it saint.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Because what the Dodgers have been this season is not
dominance right to me, it's deja vu of some years
gone by here and they were projected to win one
hundred and five and a half.
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Games this season.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
This is going to be one of the all time
great teams stack roster and because of Mookie Betts under achieving,
the bullpen underachieving, this super team won ninety three games.
Ninety three games is what the Dodgers won, and they
had to play well the last couple of weeks to
get to ninety three wins. Now that means on the
Malord big board, not a list. Terry in England, not
(08:29):
a list. The Dodgers underachieved, right. They won, if my
math has scared, about fifteen percent fewer games than they
were projected to win, and they were outplayed by the
Milwaukee Brewers and the Toronto Blue Jays, among other won
more games than this super Dodger team, the greatest team
(08:51):
ever assembled.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
So yeah, go ahead, I'm the bad guy.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
You can call me a fraud of phone he send
me your nasty emails and all that stuff. Anything to
avoid confronting the Komodo dragon in the room, the fire
breathing dragon the corner of the Dodgers. Listen, they floated
along during the rest of it. Doesn't mean I don't
want them to win. I hope they win. I'd love
for this team to it. But even if they win
the World Series, it does not change the fact that
Mookie bets for ninety four games was terrible.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
The bullpen was an embarrassment.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
So go out, eat cheese steaks, enjoy the soft pretzels
in Philadelphia, and slay the Phillies and have a great weekend.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
And that's wonderful and all that.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
However, again, just to put a ball on this Danny
that the Dodger myth lives on is blind loyalty mixed
with corporate spin and bots and all that online on
social media, and then anyone who points it out like
the other part of is oh you shouldn't do that.
Oh my god, kay stop, I.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Just laugh at I think it's hilarious.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
I look at their record.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
I mean, Tanner Scott alone accounts for could have accounted
for ten more wins worse.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
I mean to have ten blown saved.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
But that was their big pickup. That was the guy
that everyone said is gonna put him over the top.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
And the Bullen well looked. He looked good when he
was a padre. In his case, he went backwards. I'm
not sure why.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
I know.
Speaker 4 (10:13):
I read an article where he said he was just
having the worst season of his career. And obviously there
were injuries. They had to battle like a lot of
other teams. But now you see Roki come in and close.
He was hurt all throughout the season, so it looks
like they have him closer right now. Against the Phillies.
The Achilles heel is still the setup guys.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Yeah, the Phillies are much better than the Reds are,
like a Triple A team. The Phillies are a big
time team. The games are going to be close. I
just don't see this bullpen being able to get it done.
If you're the Phillies, you don't have to have a
league going to the seventh inning. You can be down
by two runs going to the seventh inning. Once Dave
Roberts makes the walk of shame and says I really
(10:56):
liked him in the spot, and they can know.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Guys like Vesia have been soon are inconsistent this season,
Guys where you have no confidence when they walk in
if you don't have a lead. If you're the Dodgers,
you need a lead of five runs. That happened against
the Reds, You're right, that's not going to happen against
teams like the Phillies. There's going to be, you know,
games that are three to one, three to two, and
(11:19):
if you have one of those yakers come in and
they vomit all over the mound, suddenly you're going to
be in a hole. Let's see if they use some
of the starters back to back, that would be the
way to go. But you know Friedman and his puppet
Dave Roberts, they probably won't go that route.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Out of an abundance of caution, Danny, out of an
abundance of caution, they will not do do that at
this point. Again, We'll see, we'll watch later today. We'll
see what the Dodgers do. See if they get to
jump on the Phillies with Otani. What do you think
Otani goes four innings today?
Speaker 5 (11:49):
What do you think four?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Or five? Tops?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Probably five? But yeah, the Bats need to stay alive.
They need to get on the board early, and often
they need to take like a five to one lead
in the game. If they get behind against a team
like the Phillies, it's going to be a long night.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Well, maybe you can do the drop off, Danny and
give them some relief pitchers. I don't think you're allowed
to add relief pitchers, but you can possibly contact them
and I think I know what hotel they're staying at
in Philadelphia and you can go do your thing.
Speaker 5 (12:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Well, Friedman didn't want to spend any more money this season.
He at the trade deadline, they let the Padres and
the Mets and other teams get the players that were
out there available. Hey, remember that headline at the trade
deadline that Padres and Mets won the trade deadline.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Oh well yeah, man, well that was the thing. But
I still and I actually defended Danny. I defended aj Preller,
the GM of the Padres like it obviously didn't work
out for the Padres.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
They got to end up losing the Cubs.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
But I love the fact that the Padres threw caution
to the win they traded. Was it eight of their
top ten minor league players to get all these relief pitchers.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
And build a super pin.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
And then the great thing about baseball is the reason
the pod his loss to the Cubs is because the
guys they already had Fernando to thiast the peacock.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I think he batted like ninety three or something like that.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Manny Machado didn't hit and you Darvish you that was
the you Darvers I saw in the twenty seventeen World
Series in Game seven against the cheating as holes. We
don't say that, you know, we can, we don't have
to pause. But Game seven, well they were cheating, but
still remember game something. It was over by the second inning.
(13:28):
The cheaters had such a big lead because Darvers was
so bad in that game.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
So it was a.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Mess as far as a drop off, I know I
talked about this a few weeks back, and there were
a couple of comments about it in the mail bag. Sense,
but good news and bad news. We finally found a
pre school that CoA can attend.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
I love my suit news. You remember we.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Took the tour of that monassory and everybody got sick
just from being anywhere near their germs there. Brenda and
I were almost like celebrating because it was amazing to
find a place that wasn't two thousand dollars a month. Sure,
now it's half that and it's part time, so it's
still a lot of money. And any parent listening right
(14:17):
now knows what we've been dealing with. We get to
this school and a great location. It is connected to
the college that our oldest attended at Kawlu. A lot
of the faculty members have their kids at this preschool
one month score, great staff, really nice yard with a
(14:39):
huge sandbox and a tricycle race track and a treehouse.
And I mean CoA was in heaven when we took
him to the orientation. He's running around, you would have
thought he was at Disneyland.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Nice.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
So the first picture I sent you is CoA a
week ago day one at pre school.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Now, remember he's never been off his mom's.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Boob as far as being in the care of somebody else. Yeah,
I'm with him every morning from you know, seven thirty
am until I leave for Covino and Rich at one pm.
Speaker 5 (15:12):
So this is a new thing.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
And it's weird because, you know, the first day we'd
take him for day one of school, he's in that
picture I sent you smiling. We told him, Okay, we're
going to go now, we'll pick you up after work,
and he's like, no, no, no, but not because he
didn't want us to leave. He thought we were trying
to take him. He wanted to stay and.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Play good good.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
So we're like, oh, perfect, okay, he doesn't even care
that we're leaving. Reality set in. We try to take
him on day two, which now is a day later
because he's Monday, Wednesday, Friday. So we try to take
him back on Wednesday, and now he knows what's going
to happen, because somewhere along the way on Monday he
(15:54):
figured out where are they. Oh shit, I'm stuck here
nap time for two hours. Look these adults at this place,
they're crazy. Yeah, and you know, this candy is a
nap from twelve thirty to two thirty.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
Are you nuts?
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Wednesday, we try to do the drop off and Ben,
there are other kids there who have just started at
the preschool, and they're like whimpering, kind of clinging onto
their mom or dad, a little bit of tears rolling
down their cheek. They look depressed. That's not how CoA rolls.
How can I even describe it? I guess he's a thespian.
(16:34):
He is a future actor who he made the biggest
scene at any of these schools. And remember, I've had
my years at a lot of school campuses, so I've
seen kids get dropped off for the first time. I've
seen kids melt down. Oh my god, I wish I
could act it out. I'm not as good of an
(16:55):
actor as he is. Or if some of these emotions
were real, then we're in trouble here because I don't
know how long he's going to.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Be at this preschool. He was screaming.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
Mama, no, no, no, Mama no, and clinging onto her leg.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
There's a side gate.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
So when we left and I had to pull Brenda away,
I'm like, come on, we gotta let him just go.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
Through it.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
He's having a meltdown. But they've you know, I'm sure
that they've had this happen before, even though we didn't
see any other kids doing this. So we're getting in
the car and she goes to the side gate. It's
like a movie.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
Ben.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
It looked like he was a prisoner trying to reach
his hand through the gate and he is screaming.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
No, Mama, don't leave.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
No.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
We're driving away from the preschool, and of course Brenda
is plubbering in the car.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
It has gotten no better.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Monday Wednesday again, and we held him back this past
Friday because he was under the weather. Of course, he
was a week and a half at a daycare or preschool.
What do you think is going to happen. He's got
a runny nose and a cold.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah, it's like a wet market in China.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
It's a lot of oh yeah, you know the college
kids they have the frat flu.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Yeah, already he's got the kinder flu.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
The question is, when we get out of this weekend
and we get back to Monday, is he going to
keep with the theatrics those meltdowns only intensified.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah, he'll he'll get over it. It might be a
month or two before he gets over, but I.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Guess he settles in after a half hour, calms down
and he settles in.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
But have you thought about bribing him? Is there a
way you could bribe him?
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Say if you're you know, you're good today, we'll give
you something extra after school or something like that.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
They have the mail bag.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
I mentioned that he loves Disney's cars right now and
he's been collecting all the characters.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
Yeah, so his mom has been trying that.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
He loves those mini cars and she's like, if you're
good after school, I'll take you to Target to get
some more minis and he says men. So he's excited
about that, but it doesn't help at the drop off.
Like at that drop off, you could tell him Mickey
Mouse himself is you know there on the playyard, and
he won't give a shit. He's just when he gets
(19:14):
focused on something or he's upset about something, that's just it.
Speaker 5 (19:18):
Sure, let's see.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
There's one other picture I'm gonna send you really quick,
and it's a prison photo. I don't think they intended
it to be a prison photo. The picture they took
of him on the playyard to put at his cubby
and it looks like a mug shot.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Yes, it does.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
It appears that he has been arrested. He is being processed.
Did they take his fingerprints? What was his crime, Danny?
Speaker 1 (19:46):
His crime.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Like you raised hell here for the first hour. Yeah,
it looked like he did some hard time, like some
hard labor that day, chain gang.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
It is holding up what a period? Is that an
orange he's holding up or an orange ball? I can't
He's holding something up with his right hand. I'm not
sure what that is, but that that does look like
a muckshot.
Speaker 5 (20:08):
That's funny. I think it's the gag that they took
out of his mouth. That's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
We've all been there. But yeah, yeah, good luck.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
I drove my parents and I hated, Oh god, I
couldn't stay my entire education.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I hated hated it, hated it, hated it.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Uh. One more thing here, and it's I wanted to
tell this because the other day I went to costco
oh oh with a very simple mission, Danny. I had
shampoo on my mind, body wash, iced coffee for the wife,
A couple of berry container strawberry raspberry, BlackBerry, in and out.
(20:46):
That's what a trip to Costco is all about clinical precision.
Had it all planned out, of course, that is not
how Costco works. That's not how any of this works
when you go to Costco. Nobody has ever gone into
Costco and left with only the thing they wrote on
their little shopping list or on their phone.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Right, it's impossible.
Speaker 5 (21:05):
You end up no a fifty planned fifty dollars trip
usually costs two hundred.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Dollars minimum two hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
You end up wandering those airplane hangar aisles like Magellan
and and pretty soon you know you've got olive oil
the size of a fire ex thing. We're sure you've
got a palette of eggs. I don't need that many eggs.
I'm not running a breakfast that place. You've got chicken
bouyon cubes that could you could make a soup for
(21:32):
the United States Marines.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
You know, it's just out of control.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
So I'm there the other day, and and then and
that's even before like you kind of get grazing. Once
you start get grazing, now that's it because because Costco
is it's it's it's an American midway, right, the gauntlet
free samples. Now sometimes it's the little corn dogs. Sometimes
it's little cheese cubes they have, and sometimes it's something
(21:57):
you didn't know you needed, like like aros and uh,
you know, some kind of frozen ice cream sandwich that
you didn't know about but looks pretty good. And and
you whatever they have you usually take because it's free,
right all he's kind of rules say, well, it's Costco free.
The samples are Costco's trojan horse. You came for the
shampoo you lead with, you know, a thing of dumplings.
(22:19):
I didn't even know they had dumplings here. Accepting the
reason I'm bringing this up not this time, because this
time I was minding my own business wandering around Costco.
I was solicited, not by a sales weasel hawking solar panels.
You know, when you go down Costco, it's like walking
down the boardwalk in Atlantic City. There's a bunch of
(22:42):
people that are trying to sell your stuff. When you
first go to Costco, they've got them all lined up, right,
They've got the cookingness.
Speaker 5 (22:47):
Oh I hate it, I have I just wave them
all off. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
My thing is I sidestep.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I go to the middle part of Costco to avoid
that part I've learned, I just don't want to deal
with people. So you walk down this aisle and they're
on the air conditioning, solar panels, the whole thing, and
you know you need tires, but you need deluxetis. Well, no,
I have tire rack, but no I need you need
these here and uh and so I was approached, not
by one of those people, by a man representing the
(23:13):
Kirkland brand, which I guess these are not actual Costco
employees they are they're hired third party, but uh, a
person working at the sample table. And you know, I
had the smile of a man convinced he was offering
you the secret to life itself?
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Would you like to try one of my samples?
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
He asked, kind of leaning forward, like you know, he's
letting me in on this little secret.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
You know.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
I was like, Oh, this is gonna be good, right,
and said, I'm in, I'm down, you know, I'm here,
and uh so I turned and kind of moved my
card over there, and there it was a little table
filled a little red tray filled with seaweed, not sushi,
not not you know, some people like the sushi Krispy
(23:59):
rice roll seaweed flat green salty sheet.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Oh yeah, you're talking about the stuffed kids take to
school as a snack.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Well, I never took it to school, so it's not.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
Well, no, we didn't. I'm talking about kids nowadays.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
I don't know. I don't know who knows.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
It's gross, it's in their teeth, it's yeah, I can
smell it. I smelled it on the kids I used
to take care of.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
So nasty.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
So I'm looking, I'm looking at this table, and I'm like,
you gotta be joking, right, I'm like, you know who
I am, even of course you don't know who I am.
But I'm like, I mean, just by my even if
you don't know who I am, just by looking at me,
I don't look like a seaweed eater.
Speaker 5 (24:34):
I don't you know.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
I don't like things that are green anyway, flat, green, salty,
the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I mean, seaweed is.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Just horrid, you know, It's just I can't. I hate
it when I'm going walking on the beach.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Anyway. So I did what any red blooded American would do.
I declined. I said, no way, I'm good.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I don't need to I don't need to snack on
the kelp that was brushed up against my leg the
last time I swam, you know.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Over in Newport. But then, of course fate happened.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
Danny.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I looped around the.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Store and I passed this gabbroni again and the poor
guy doubled down. I guess he forgot he had already
had this conversation with me.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
He gave me the full elevator pitch again.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Oh yeah, and now we know why he was seeking
people out, because who the hell wants seaweed?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Exactly, That's what I'm saying. So he somehow.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Believed in this seaweed, or at least he was being
quite the thespian as you said, your son, you know,
cause a festment. He wanted me to believe again and
again I refused. And here's the thing. I was not alone, Danny,
And you pointed out nobody, and I mean nobody was
taking the seaweed, not kids, not parents, not even the
(25:45):
old people that are scavengers who normally hawks. It was
the costco version of chernobyl. They finally found a sample
that was abandoned.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
It was radioactive, and that's it.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
And I've seen people take the crappiest samples, like recently
they had a table where they had like two broken
tortilla chips in each cup. People were reaching for these
damn things.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Uh yeah, And so that tells you everything.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
People don't turn down free food, as you know, and
I know we all know that they don't. They'll eat
your chicken nuggets that are half cooked on a toothpick.
They'll they'll eat heated ravioli which is still kind of
cold in the middle. As you said, the chips that
they'll eat whatever's on the train. Seaweed, though, that is
a point of demarcation. That is where the American public
(26:36):
draws the line. And Costco can sell you a kayak,
they can sell you a casket, they can sell you
a protein powder, the fuel a cult of CrossFit lunatics,
but they cannot make you eat seaweed.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
They can't do it. And I just thought it was hilarious.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
I mean, I've been going to cost for my my
tire adult life. I love Costco and I've never seen
that before. And meanwhile, two miles over right there's the
Little corn Dogs. There's a line that looked like it
was for Space Mountain at Disneyland.
Speaker 5 (27:09):
Right, freaking talk about competition.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
It's like people were camped out ready for waiting for
fifteen minutes for a stupid f and litle piece of
hot dog.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
And they were smiling, you know, freebie and all that.
But there you go.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
So that's that's my weekly Costco story. You walk in
with a plan, you leave with a shopping cart of
you know, the stuff you didn't need and regret that
you purchased. And somewhere in the middle there your face
with the great existential question of our time, seaweed or
no seaweeds? But no, you need this. Let me make
my pitch. No, I don't need your elevator pitch for me.
(27:48):
It's a no on seaweed. Every single time. I do
give the guy credit though, because you know, I'm assuming
these guys who do the samples.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
And the women don't know what they're going to when
they show up to work.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Like this guy was really into the job, and I'm
sure he's not making a lot of money, that doesn't
pay a lot, and yet he's still he's pitching that
thing like he's trying to you know, he's working for
bm trying to sell you on a BMW or something wild.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
It's the equivalent of you and Rob Parker's selling really
bad hot takes.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
How dare you listen?
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Rob's the og he's gotten the weekend, He's getting the
press box named after him.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I know it's coming up.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
Yeah, he's in New York right now as we speak,
and I guess they're going to have a little little
get together for him at our studios on Monday evening.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
That's great.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
I was actually going to try to get back to
I guess it's Connecticut, Central Connecticut or something.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
I forget what school says. School in Connecticut's naming their
press box after Rob. And I love Rob.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
I don't get to see him much as we worked
different hours, and actually was gonna he invited us to
me and my wife to go back to the event,
but unfortunately we couldn't make the travel.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
The travel happened. But anyway, we'll get out on that, Danny.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Hopefully the Dodgers do not let us down today and
win and all that.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
And let's go.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Oh yeah, let's hope that we can string together a
couple of really good pitchers after Otani.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
They got to have a seven run league going to
the eighth inning.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
I'll feel pretty good. Seven second book, pretty much. I
have a Dodger stress ball, and I'm not making that up.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Well, I will, I will, I'm expecting.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
See.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
The good thing about this is I've already determined they're
not good enough to win, so if they win, I'll
be happy. I've created in my own head nanny sports
fan insurance. I've already gone the arithmetic, I've done the
Mather math. They're not good enough to win, so if
they win, I'll be pleasantly surprised. I'll be pleasantly surprised.
Speaker 5 (29:32):
Anyway. All right, as you're hedging your bets.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
I'm not hedging my bets. I'm just calling like it is.
All right, having a wonderful rest of your Saturday.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Here, we'll be back.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
We get the mail bag on Sunday. Sunday, Sunday later.
Skater got a murder.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
I gotta go,
Host
Ben Maller
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