December 2, 2025 • 41 mins
Ben Maller talks about Lane Kiffin being introduced as the new head coach for LSU and what the Tigers can expect from him, Kiffin saying he will restore LSU to be the best program in all of college football, Devin Williams getting signed by the Mets, Maller's Mountain of Money: Woody Allen Edition, and more!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Boom, shaka, Laca. It's our number three. Our number three
is ready to go. Talking college football, the big news
of the day, Lane Kiffen was introduced as the new
head football coach in Baton Rouge. What can LS you
expect from Lane Kiffen as head coach? Also, Lane Kivin
(00:20):
says he will restore LSU to be the best program
in all of college football. How does that hit you?
And we had a free agent signing in Major League Baseball?
What kind of fit is closer? Devin Williams late of
the Yankees. He's staying in the Big Apple and he's
going across town over to Queens to play for the Mets.
(00:42):
We'll talk about that as well. Right now here, it
is our number three. You are not a lame brain,
you are a lane brain. Well come in the beginning
of another hour of the Ben Mallers, Joe, we are
in the air everywhere, me here and you there, as
(01:07):
we have platter perfection, coast stuck coast border to border
in beyond on the vast and spitfingly powerful microphones of
fsr M monating live from the walk It's Benny's Boardwalk
on the world famous Fox Sports Radio Studios as approved
(01:30):
by Deacon Blues. He gives the old thumbs up on
that this portion of the Ben mather Shaw on Fox
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the way tire buying shure be coming up later this hour.
(02:16):
If you stay with us for the full hour you
give us I don't know, ten minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty
minutes later on we got the Riddle of the Day,
the malor Riddle of the Day. We also have Mahler's
Mountain of Money that'll be coming up a little bit
later as well, but we're gonna start with this. It's
the story that everyone's been talking about in Cottage football.
(02:36):
Baton Rouge Louisiana and where I used to work with
a guy named Chris Landry who worked here years ago,
and he lives in Baton Rouge, the great Chris Landry.
And we actually Fox Sports Radio the company brought in
Dale Brown. You know Dale Brown is now. He was
Shaquille O'Neal's college coach at LSU. Great man, very nice man.
(02:57):
Dale Brown. He was our college basketball inside for a
year or two and he came out and did some
shows with Dale who lives I think he still lived.
I don't know if he's still around, but he lived
in Baton Rouge. So Lane Kiffin, yes that. Lane Kiffen
was introduced as the LSU football coach, promising big things
in the future. It wouldn't it be great if Lane
(03:18):
Kiffin said, listen, I think if everything goes right here
at Louisiana State, we can end up in the Weed
Eater Bowl And would wouldn't that just be one? He
didn't say that, So I know, if you saw any
of this or not, it's always over the top. It's
just great, just ridiculous. It's a religion, is what this
(03:38):
is in that part of the country, and it's just great.
So Lane Kiffin called the past six years at Ole
miss He said, the best. There's a theme, the best
six years of his life. So why would he leave?
Then he explained why he felt compelled to to say
(04:01):
bye bye to Oxford, Mississippi and to take over at
LSU a football program. He said that he's always admired.
He's always admired from AFAR. So that is a good
jumping off point. Let us discuss the question what can
ls you expect from the Lane Kiffen era as head
(04:24):
coach in Baton Rouge. So I've got Cotton Candy, the
four Seasons, and Homer Simpson, and we will combine all
of these things together and we are gonna make the
Baba Ganoosh. We're gonna make the Baba Ganoosh. All right, So,
first of all, Lane Kiffin is the human funhouse of Mirrors,
(04:49):
the guy who turns every single program into this warp
distorted carnival version of reality. And as a talk show host,
I think Lane Kiffin his teams don't actually win championships,
but they're really good for my business. And I'm worried
about having to do a daily talk show. And Lane
(05:12):
Kiffin is great. If you have a daily talk show.
So good for Lane Kivin. Now here's what we expect.
We expect a traveling circus, okay, complete with trapeze artists,
clown cars, pyrotechnics, everything. It's all part of Lane Kiffin's experience.
Every single marketing gimmick Lane Kiffin will bring to the
table right wrapped inside a publicity stunt. So he's literally
(05:37):
gonna take a marketing gimmick. He's gonna wrap it in
wrapping paper, put a bow on it, and then and
match it there with the publicity sign. So Lane Kiffin
doesn't just take jobs, okay, he creates soap operas. Soap operas.
It has been so good. Now we don't talk tons
of college football in the show because the NFL is
(05:58):
more important and bigger and all that stuff. We pick
our spots, and I would say other than Nick Sabin
at al Alabama back in the day and also at
LSU since I've been here and with the dolphin, like
Lane Kiffin's like neck and neck, and since Nick Saban
(06:18):
went away a couple of years back, lane Kiffin's adding
Mallard monologues and all that stuff. But it's like everything
he does when he leaves these jobs. When he exits
stage left from these coaching jobs, it's like a Wikipedia novel,
is what is? I don't know if you're old enough.
Remember he coached the Oakland Raiders. He wasn't ready to
(06:39):
be an NFL coach Lane Kiffin, and he proved it
on a weekly basis. He also pissed off Al Davis,
the old owner of the Raiders, and Al Davis decided
not only to fire Lane Kiffin. This was one of
the fun I remember coming in and this is like
the early days of social media. It really wasn't a thing,
but it was so great. I still remember doing the
(06:59):
show when Lane Kiffin got whacked as the Raider coach
and Al Davis a very frail old man at this point,
and then near the end, you know, the pearly gates
were saying, hey, we want you soon, and I was like,
I don't know if I want to go. But he
wasn't doing that great and so Al Davis fired Lane
kiffen and used an overhead projector to show everyone how
(07:21):
much Lane Kiffin sucked. He was so great. God is
that good? Tennessee fans. After he left Tennessee after one
year to go coach sc Tennessee fans I remember chased
him out of Knoxville like he was a Frankenstein monster
and were burning sofas. They were so upset there in Knoxville.
(07:41):
I think Danny and Nashville was one of the people
that went over to Knoxville to do that. USC literally
canned Lane Kiffen on the tarmac at lax How great
is that got fired by Al Davis on an overhead
projector Tennessee. They ran him out of town with forks
and torches. SC said, will whack you at lax And
(08:05):
on the tarmac. And Nick Saban even got rid of
Lane Kiffen a week before the national title game. And
now you've got Old Miss fans who are chaining obscenities
running him off the road in Oxford, Mississippi. The common
denominator Lane Kiffin right, you know now Lane bails on
(08:30):
Old Miss and before the playoff playoffs like a man
escaping a burning building, except the buildings not on fire.
And my guys so back. So LSU is gonna win
a bunch of games in the regular season. Lane. If
you look at what he does in the regular season,
(08:51):
he's gonna stack w's w w W w W. It's
gonna be like, I hop like hotcakes, pancakes at eye.
I'm going to stack them up there. The offense will
be fireworks. He'll get the hottest high school quarterback out
of California and bring him to Louisiana, put him in there.
The quotes will be solid gold, they'll be really good.
(09:13):
The attention will be NonStop. So Lane Kiffin coaching LSU
football is a kin to cotton candy football. It's sweet,
it's fun, it's messy, and it doesn't really fill you up.
That's Lane Kiffen. And you know the crash is coming.
You know the crash is coming. It always happens. And
(09:34):
that's the Lane train. That's the Lane Experience, high octane.
That's like a train. It turns into a roller coaster
and there's no breaks and you better buckle up for
the loop d loop in Baton rouge. All right now. Secondly,
keeping the theme going, so Lane Kiffin also walking into
(09:55):
LSU and immediately declared that LSU is going to be
the quote, the best program in all of college football.
So Lane kiff the best program in all of college football.
So the question, all right, Lane Kiffin says, he will
restore LSU football to be the best program in college Truble,
(10:15):
How does that one hit you? So on this one,
it hits me like a lawyer, an advertising lawyer, reading
the fine print on a late night infomercial and saying, okay, so,
because the legal definition is he used the word best
in advertising, So what does that mean? Okay, So the
(10:39):
term best in advertising means just as good as all
the rest in that category. So you can claim that
you have the world's greatest hogi and you can do
the hogy pokey and say, oh it's great and everything's fine.
You're not going to get suited the moment though, that
you say, hey, we are better than Nick Saban's ghost. Well,
(11:00):
then Nick Saban's ghosts could sue you. And he said,
well that's not that's not right. But how could a
ghost sue? But the ghost could sue. It could happen.
And you can claim that you're better than this that,
and you gotta prove that. But if you say you're
the best, you don't have to prove. That's how to
get sued in the court of public opinion is to
(11:22):
say you're better than Nick Saban or this guy or
that guy. And you're not gonna do that now he's
he's stepping in. Though you think about LSU football for
Lane Kiffin, this is a carsal haul of the SEC.
It just is right. All the creature comforts when you're
in Baton rouge, all the perks for the players, all
(11:42):
the bells, the whistles, the fog machines, the DJ boost,
all that stuff. The players at LSU are pampered and coddled.
They just are. And it's like they're checking in at
the four seasons. They're getting paid their nil money, the
star players. They have the concierge service as well, the
nil concierge service. Everything you need. LSU's got money, money, money,
(12:05):
they got the bankroll. They've got more money there than
some small nations. Oh k, it's insane. They get all
the facilities, everything you want, all the newest gadgets and
gizmo's and all that good stuff. It's like a nasive
training module. If you've seen some of the videos on
the YouTube of the LSU football. And they've got a
(12:27):
ravenous fan base just like they had an ole miss
So that's more the same. It's a little bigger at
LSU and they wake up angry. They wake up hungry, hungry, hungry.
They're like hungry hippos, and some of them the size
of hippos. And listen promises, though are l cheap out.
They are l cheap out, And anyone can sell Wolf
(12:47):
tickets in December right now, Lane's got no excuse. This
is the problem, all right. People are not gonna wait
around four years. You don't need to wait around four years.
In mind, in college football, you can literally buy a
team in one off season with the right nil payments.
So you look around. You can't blame the fact that
(13:10):
you don't have enough money to get into the portal.
You got plenty of money. You can't blame the boosters.
They're giving you about one hundred million dollars. You can't
blame the schedule because you're supposed to have all the
great players and all that stuff, and it's sisily. Lane
Kiffin is now running a high end steakhouse and pretty
much everyone else is flipping burgers now. Personally, I like
(13:34):
a good cheeseburger, like a smash burger. I'm a fan
a lot of you low. I want a Porterhouse steak
and this, that and the other. Not about that, but
If lane Kiffin, though, does not win a championship, as
the kids say, a natty. If he doesn't win a championship,
and I'm talking right in that first two years for
(13:54):
Lane Kiffin, then this will go from a bold proclamation
for the Lane Train to a late night comedy routine
as they then chase him out of baton rouge and
then he runs somewhere else to go back to sc
or somewhere if this completely blows up. So that's how
that's going to go. All right? Final thought to baseball, baseball?
(14:20):
What are you doing talking about baseball? What is up
with that? I don't understand all I mean I do?
There we go, The computer here falls asleep every fifteen minutes.
Really good equipment we have here at the company. So
anyway to baseball. Free agent, free agent signing. Pitcher on
the move. A Domino has fallen in Major League Baseball
(14:44):
after spending the twenty twenty five season with the New
York Yankees. Relief pitcher Devin Williams. Good old Devin Williams
is looking to change locations, and he is changing uniforms,
he's changing laundry. He has agreed to a deal in
principle the news coming down on Monday. Did you hear
(15:05):
you did not? Devin Williams at one point the top
relief pitcher in all of baseball for the Milwaukee brew Crew.
The Brewers. Well, Devin Williams is now taking his talents
from the New York Yankees. Two revealed answers, revealed answers
The New York Mets. Oh my god, he's going Crosstown.
(15:25):
Oh my goodness, Devin Williams. I know Uncle Moe is
very excited about this. He's in Jersey, he's a Yankee fan.
He's happy. In fact, Uncle Moe's offered to drive Devin
Williams to over to Flushing if he needs none, need
to take the subway or anything like that, or a
car service, He'll drive him over to make sure he
doesn't pitch for the Yankees anymore. So, three year contract
(15:49):
for over fifty million dollars for Devin Williams. Question, what
kind of a fit is closer Devin Williams with the
New York Mets. All right, so this is like Homer
Simpson's Friends Itchy and Scratchy, the Itchy and Scratchy Show,
where yeah, he's a scratchy sweater is what he is.
(16:15):
Looks good in the window, right, looks good in the window.
But once you put the sweater on, you're itching and
you're regretting every decision you ever made. That's essentially what
Devin Williams is. It's itchy and scratchy. It's Homer Simpson's friends.
It's a it's a it's a sweater. It's It's like
the Mets decided we're gonna go out and pay full
(16:36):
price for a clearance rack cardigan. Now you gotta think
that Edwin Diez is gone. He is also a free agent.
I for one, am very happy the Mets made this move.
As a Dodger supporter, somewhat, I'm told I'm not a
good Dodger fan because I pointed out Clayton Kershaw sucks
in big games. But anyway, he's done, so I guess
(16:57):
I'm allowed back into the Blue crew. I'm so happy.
I was worried that Devin Williams is gonna sign with
the Dodgers. I was like, oh God, please no, please, no,
please no, please no, thank God, let him go to
the mess. Devin Williams coming off a season where his
big accomplishment with the Yankees was to convince them to
change the facial hair policy. The Yankees were so horny
(17:19):
to get this guy from the Brewers that they got him.
And he wants to grow facial hair. Okay, we'll let
that happen. Then he went out there and Handy Aria
almost five. They should put the rule back in, say
no facial hair, because this guy sucks the anxiety spiral
in the Bronx. He didn't just struggle, he was the closer.
He lost the job. I think he lost the job
(17:40):
by like early May, got the job back, lost it again.
He burst into flames like a cheap microwave. You got
on Timu right, and it was just horrific, bad to
the bone. And there's a thing. If you're old, you
know what this is. But the Yankees for years, this
goes back forty years. It's called ed Whitsen disease. The
(18:00):
Yankee spent a lot of money on this great pitcher,
Ed Witson, and he got to the Yankees and the
only thing he was good at was fighting with Billy Martin,
the Yankee manager. He couldn't handle pitching in New York.
Spoiler alert, Devin Williams can't handle pitching in New York.
The now Queens is not the Bronx. It's also not
a day SBA pitching for the Mets, and so City
(18:21):
Field is not some kind of meditation retreat compared to
Yankee Stadium. You're still dealing with the back pages of
the tabloids, the angry talk radio callers, the guy who's
been drinking all day, who's a construction worker from Long
Island who's complaining about your whip and how you ruined
his parlay the other day. Now that the top scenario,
(18:43):
the top scenario is that Williams is able to stabilize
the ninth inning and look somewhat like the Milwaukee Monster
that he was a couple of years ago. Problem, even
if he does that during the regular season, you're still
gonna need that in the playoffs. And this guy's got
artist all over him, as in choke artist. He's a
(19:03):
grenade with a loose pin in the Mets bullpen. And
this is another thing where that the analytics say doesn't
matter location, city, environment, They don't factor any of those
things in. So the analytics say, this guy was really good,
he had an off year, and pitchers bounce back, and
you take out the human element but that's now the
(19:25):
Mets problem as Devin Williams goes to the New York Metropolitans.
The free agent signing that came down, and I'm still
waiting for Kyle Schwarber to choose his new team. And
there's a couple other big names. Not a great year
for free agency, but there's a couple of big names
out there. Also a lot of owners complaining crying poverty,
which I always like because there's a labor stoppage that's
(19:47):
on the horizon in Major League Baseball. Will take your
calls eight seven, seven ninety nine on Fox Time Now though,
for the Mallor Riddle of the day. And here's the
Mallard Riddle of the day. A New England Patriot fan
w viral on Monday night when he brought a blank
to the game against the Giants. Again, a Patriots fan
(20:08):
went viral when he brought a blank to the Monday
night football game. And fill in the blank. That is
the Mallard riddle of the day. The answer, We'll get
to it. We'll do it next.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maler
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Hey, it's Rob Parker and Calvin Washington from The Odd
Couple on Fox Sports Radio.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
And in addition to hearing us live weeknights from seven
to ten pm Eastern on Fox Sports Radio, we are
excited to announce brand new YouTube channel for the show.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
That's right. You can now watch The Odd Couple live
on YouTube every day.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
All you gotta do search Odd Couple FSR on YouTube
again YouTube, Just search Odd Couple FSR.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Check us out on YouTube and subscribe side no nah out, Ben.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Grown straw, want soupies, many budget goals, chime with games notes, biscreen, coo,
(21:43):
biz creaming, Bill Miller and you.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
It is the Ben Mallor Show. Happy Holidays a classic
Mallor holiday tune. Always play this around the holidays, set
in the right mood. If you'd like to submit a
malar holiday tune that we'll get a lot of airplay.
There's a lot of airplay. No AI, it's gotta be
(22:11):
you gotta be now. We don't want we want real
human beings, real So send it in care of Benmahlor
Show at gmail dot com. That's Benmallor Show at gmail
dot com ature. You put song in the headline there
and good luck back to it. We go this classic
(22:33):
in tune. Time to pay off the malar riddle of
the day, and then we will get to the wacky,
wacky world of the calls. And later this hour we
have Mallard's amount of money. But first the riddle of
the day. A Patriot fan has gone viral when he
brought a blank to the Monday night football game. All right,
(22:56):
let's see you here. Andy in Lino Lakes, Minnesota says
he brought his own play by play guy to the game.
That would be odd pet dinosaur from Scrooge. He's in
the younger demo in the Bay Area, but soon he'll
be in the older demo. Lady Sideburn says a Barbie
dreamhouse now, that would be impressive. Miguel on Fire says
the Patriot fan went viral bringing an oil painting of
(23:17):
weed man hippie Okay, green glittery gorilla with the Ganjo
rolled up in a Garcia Vega from far out. Dave
was very far out. He brought the Baba ganoosh from
the tailgate. That's alf the alien old Piner courtesy Flesher
(23:38):
said his wife. Well, she's a lovely lady in my
apologies to her or it or whatever. That is his
custom jersey from King Rory. Wow, quite the jersey. Who
else a page then? A blow up doll he got
off Timu from Milkman Mike in Colorado. A street taco
vendor with a Mariachi band from Doug in South Korea. Uh,
(24:00):
Paige down an emotional support donkey is the answer? A
gallon of chatta from Eke in Roseville, Minnesota. A taser
from Dante Joe the ghost owner, says Tom Brady. Pajamas
with a flap in the back to use the squatty body.
My lucky socks, says JT. But wing met. J T
(24:21):
was at the Titans game over the over the weekend.
He said, I didn't say it was very good football,
but he was there, I think with his lady friend.
Who else do we have? A page down? BP says
the Patriot fan brought a Jordan Hudson blow up doll
unless he didn't uh, some kind of inflatable from Johnny Q.
(24:41):
A Polish sausage from David That's his answer? Who else
we have? Paige? Dn us? Your bill said some nonsense
a John Deere tractor from Philler up. Phil fan brought
a live goat to the game from Fat Daddy, that's
his answer. Attillo in Floridas says he brought he brought
the gabba gool. It was clearly the gobba ghool that
(25:04):
he brought, all right, Lorraine, No, it's the mallord riddle
of the day. And again for those of you, a
little late, bad job by you, you have been marked
on the on the sheet as late. A Patriot fan
went viral when he brought a blank to the Monday
night football game with the Giants, a bildo. Wow, uh no,
(25:25):
that is incorrect. Brought a live duck. Quack quack quack
quack quack. What Yeah, guy brought a duck. There's got
to be more of this. You're not allowed to just
go into the stadium with a duck like that. This
is an emotional support duck. I don't know, I need.
There's gotta be more. If anybody knows how that guy
(25:46):
got the duck in the stadium, or maybe the duck
flew into the stadium and the guy grabbed it and
made it his pet duck. How about that? It's conceivable
that that happened possible indeed, and uh yeah, the guy
was he's holding up that there's a live duck holding
it up, and it didn't. It looked like I mean,
it was fake. It seemed like a real It was
(26:08):
moving around, breathing like a real duck. All let's go
to the phones and we'll say hello to Jed who fled,
who is a duck expert. And Jed's old enough to
remember when Florida State used to get the top coaches
in college football. Well, actually they never did because they
always had Bobby Bowden. What's going on, Jed? Who fled? Jed? Jed? Jed,
Jed Jed. Apparently Jed has fled, so he's left the building,
(26:31):
which is unfortunate. Don't worry, he'll call back. Very upset.
Let's go to Hawaii. We say helloha to Dorkoh in Hawaii.
Aloha Dorko, Hi Fanas, it's me Dorkoh. Well, it's better
luck next year for my mini Sodas fight Queen's football team.
Speaker 5 (26:53):
But I am more concerned about Big Glue. Well, he
by next year reveal his last name, and because he
is big, maybe it will be Big Lou Figno.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Dorko, I have made I am so happy you've called
the show. Dorko. I can't tell you how it really
means a lot to me that you've chosen to call
the show. And are you Are you actually in Hawaii
or you just made that up?
Speaker 5 (27:23):
You know?
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Are you really in Hawaii?
Speaker 5 (27:25):
Yes, my friend comedian pianol Montre lives here.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Oh he doesn't. You're just visiting? Or you live there?
Speaker 6 (27:33):
No?
Speaker 5 (27:33):
I live in the same house as he times.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Oh you do? Okay, I got you? All right, that's
very good. And what part of what island are.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
You on there?
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Dorco? Are you.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
With Hana LULUs?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah? Honolulu? Gotcha? Gotcha? All right? Go you should go
hang ten on the North Shore.
Speaker 5 (27:53):
Go over to the North Idea, except for that's too
scary for me. But Dannel goes there.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Oh he does. I got you. How are you in
Hawaii for when you're coming back to the mainland.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
I don't think they have our vacation. We will for
Super Bowl stupid Bowl.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Yeah, I got you?
Speaker 2 (28:13):
All right.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Well listen fascinating as always, dark, Oh, amazing content. We're
so happy you've called the show. Thank you, Thank you
BG hright bye bye, Hello there, it goes Darko from Hawaii.
That's about them something kind of I think there might
be a comedy bit doing that working material. Possibly. Let's
(28:33):
go to Spud. Spud is in La what's going on?
Spud in La La Land?
Speaker 7 (28:40):
I gotta go old school with your bend. Here a
couple of Lane Kiff analogies. First of all, is Lean
Kiff and the Larry Brown of college football, actually football
Larry of course at UCLA Kansas and a Tunnet NBA
team including the Pistons couldn't stay in one place very long.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Yeah, yeah, the Clipper coach, the Clippers coach the Spurs, Yeah,
is all over the place.
Speaker 7 (29:09):
Yeah yeah. Second second, uh, you know, I've heard the
notion of Michigan and of course mission I'd love to
see Ole Miss run the table like when Michigan said
Bill Frieder get out of there and Steve Fisher led
them to the promise.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Now you're sure about that, because did you see Spud
that If old Miss is able to run the table,
that Lane Kiffin the bonus baby. Lane Kiffin is going
to cash in that. He's going, He's going, He's gonna
is a wild So if those didn't see it, Lane
Kiffin spuds on the ball here. But Lane Kiffin is
(29:48):
going to receive a playoff bonus from LSU if ole
miss wins despite not actually coaching LSU and the college
football playoff. That's how desperate l as You was to
get Lane Kiffin that he'll be one. Imagine watching those games,
It's like Lane Kiffen has a massive bet on every game,
on every game.
Speaker 7 (30:09):
So you remember some of the players there, Ben who
played for Michigan.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Well, what era of Michigan?
Speaker 7 (30:16):
What do you when? They won nineteen eighty nine led
by Glenn Rice.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Oh the Michigan Oh yeah, basketball, sure, Glenn Rice, Yeah.
Speaker 7 (30:24):
Yeah, the the underrated Glenn Rice.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Rumel Robbins, I remember, not a great NBA player, Remeal
Robinson with a good college player, no, and he had quite.
Speaker 7 (30:34):
A checkered history after playing in the NBA. You can
check that out. But you know who is on that team,
Rob Paalinka.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Oh skinny jeans. Yeah, you're talking about living living a
charmed life, Rob Polink. They gotta get rid of And
now that the Lakers are gonna get real owners, they
got to go to Rob Polinka. I got it own.
Speaker 7 (30:53):
I think that's gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Yep, yeah, I agree. All right, well thank us, Bud.
All right, there you care, great spud. There he goes,
where he goes? I don't know. There you go. So
l Lane Kiffin.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
The uh.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
By the way, we need contestants if you would like to.
But we have a game show which is moments away,
and if we you know, we just got a bunch
of calls. But if you want to play the game,
it's Mallar's Mountain of Money eight seven seven. I'll give
you the inside number eight seven seven nine nine six
six three six line. That's the inside number. Get in
right now, play Maller's amount of Money eight seven seven
(31:28):
nine to nine six six three six'. Nine so this
bonus thing With Lane kiffen is next. Level it's just absolutely.
Outstanding and so if The rebels are in the final
bracket of the, Committee Lane kiffin was he was going
to get one hundred and fifty thousand dollars for it
(31:49):
From Old miss just for playing a game in the first.
Round but now lsu is going to pay all this bonus,
money and like we're talking hundreds of thousands of the
hundreds of thousands of. DOLLARS i think seven hundred and
fifty thousand If Old miss reaches the national title. Game
if Old miss actually, wins they're. Not but if they
(32:10):
do win the title, Game Lane kiffin was going to
receive one million, dollars and AS i understand, it he's
still gonna get this bonus money from FROM. Lsu so
here you, go all, right it is The Ben Mahlor.
Show as we press on, here we've got coming up
here in a, Moment mallards mountain of. Money you want
(32:31):
to set this, Up coop? Quickly or should we just
we'll set it? Up, okay we don't need to play the.
Imaging let's welcome in our. Contestants who do we have.
Here we've Got rob In maine who called up right. Away, Rob, hello.
Welcome what's happening waiting on a big old snowstorm up here?
Today Benny, BLACK i wanted it to happen last night
BECAUSE i was hoping to watch a snow. GAME i
(32:52):
didn't get the snow. Game i'm bummed out by.
Speaker 5 (32:54):
That that was Gonna we'll have to have a few
in the.
Speaker 7 (32:57):
Playoffs don't.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Worry oh look at, you you're. BACK i thought you
were Text, no you're. Done with. That you're back on
what they?
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Fight? BILL i jumped back, On.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
BABY i got? You all, Right, rob who do you
want to partner up?
Speaker 7 (33:06):
With? Rob bronco's?
Speaker 4 (33:08):
Baby?
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Okay oh? God hold? On and we Have mike In.
Boston what's going? On? Mike welcome? Mikey what's?
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Up?
Speaker 7 (33:17):
Hey what's? Up? Man what's going?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
On what's going? On what are you? Doing you're driving?
Around you're working right? Now where are? You what are
you doing on my way to?
Speaker 7 (33:23):
Work oh?
Speaker 1 (33:24):
God all? Right, well who do you want to partner up? With?
Speaker 8 (33:27):
Yeah you?
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Okay all? Right, Sorry, lorena you're not. Popular he's the
only Time larana is not? Popular is this game right?
Here all?
Speaker 8 (33:34):
Right go?
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Ahead, cool all, right.
Speaker 9 (33:35):
Gentlemen this Is Malor's mount Of, money The Bloody allen.
Edition he turned ninety years old On. Sunday that seems
old to.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Me. Yes.
Speaker 9 (33:42):
Uh the categories are take The money and run midnight In,
paris husbands and wives and small time? Crooks and Uh
rob was on, First robbish, category would you.
Speaker 5 (33:54):
Like take the money and? Run all?
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Right and Then, mike how about you small time? Crooks
small time? Crooks all? Right, everyone hold, on do not
hang up we will Have Malor's mountain Of money in its.
Entirety we'll get to. That we will do it.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Next be sure to catch live editions Of The Ben
Mallor show weekdays at two Am eastern eleven Pm.
Speaker 6 (34:16):
PACIFIC i don't need presents underneath The christmas tree so,
bright no gaming, consoles. TVs i don't even need a.
BIKE i don't need a brand new.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Phone ALL i needs radio.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
So THAT i can listen to The Ban Mallor. Show
ALL i need is the Band malor, Show Bill miller
And you and is a man swear show talking over a.
Vocal Happy. HOLIDAYS a reminder to support the. Show pick
that down a little bit the YouTube. Channel we leave
by two, Channels Ben Malor show On YouTube And Benny
(34:56):
vspenny For benny versus The. Penny check out those, channels,
follow subscribe to the, channels support the, show comment on the,
videos and we thank, You we thank, you we thank.
Speaker 8 (35:07):
You we think we Now Mailor's mountain Of. Money do
you have what it takes to get to the. Top probably.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Not let's do it right. Now and this, show by the,
way sponsored By Draft kings sportsbook and official sports betting
partner of THE nfl AND nba right, now use the
promo Code mallor that's M a l E r to
claim your special offer At Draft. Kings, again that's promo Code.
Malor At, DraftKings the crown is. Yours we've Got mike
In boston who is teamed up with. Me rob In
(35:41):
maine waiting for the snow teamed up With. Coop rob
was on the air, First so you will go With
coop The Woody allen Edition. Cooplehop, yes that is, correct Right.
Speaker 9 (35:52):
Rob we have take the money and. Run these athletes
didn't live up to their mega. Contracts we need the
first and last. Name forty five seconds on the. Clock
are you, Ready, Rob? Rob, yes, okay all, right forty
five seconds let's, begin all. Right he's the quarterback for
The Cleveland browns who loved. Massages. Yes, uh this guy
(36:17):
was nicknamed The machine in. Baseball he was with The
angels for like ten years and sucked for most of. Them, Albert,
yes this guy was on The Orlando magic and The Detroit.
Pistons his dad was in THE. Nfl, yes this guy
was a quarterback for The Denver broncos and The Chicago.
Bears his nickname Was Smoking, yes the Rain man from
(36:41):
The Seattle. SuperSonics, yes this guy was Another angel, player
a third baseman from The Washington.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Nationals, yes let's.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Go and then a.
Speaker 9 (36:51):
Quarterback he was on The, broncos but it was The
texans who gave him a big. Contract oh didn't get
it In, No, yeah, yeah we're.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Up now that's shaw him has Done that was pathetic
By coop And. Rob not good at. All, Well sean
has done. Here all, Right, mike here we. Go you
picked small time. Crooks these athletes have all been caught. Stealing,
okay you, ready let's do all, Right, mike forty five.
Seconds we need the first and last. Name. Runaway this
guy played quarterback In Florida. State he loved crab. Legs
(37:20):
he's now in THE nfl with The. Yes he was
known as The juice with The Buffalo. Bills he also Liked.
Yes currently the coach of The New England. Patriots, yes
known As nails for the eighty Six, mets also played
for The. Phillies outfielder had a lot of.
Speaker 5 (37:39):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Uh he was a quarterback for The, chargers drafted After Peyton,
manning one of the great busts IN nfl draft Teds,
No no before. That, yes he played basketball At Notre.
Dame he's currently a colleague of mine here At Fox Sports.
Radio he's a college basketball coach In, Wisconsin Green. Bay,
(38:01):
yeah there you, Go. Stole we didn't get point in all, right.
Speaker 5 (38:07):
Crazy match so?
Speaker 9 (38:08):
Far all?
Speaker 5 (38:09):
Right?
Speaker 9 (38:09):
Rob do you want midnight In paris or husbands and wives?
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Midnight all?
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Right?
Speaker 9 (38:15):
Uh these athletes all have at least Some french. Heritage
forty five seconds on the. Clock let's. Begin current quarterback
for The, Lions Jared, yes this guy is the best
player in THE nba right. Now huge guy on The. Spurs,
yes this guy was nicknamed The Stifled. Tower he was
(38:36):
a center on The jazz and The. Timberwolves, yes this
guy was a point guard on The. Spurs he was
married to an. Actress, yes this guy was on The Florida,
gators then The. Bulls his dad was a tennis. Player let's.
Go this guy was a closer for The dodgers eighty
eight saves in a row or something like.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
That.
Speaker 9 (38:56):
Eric, yes this guy was a catcher for The dodgers
and The. Yankees he was From, canada Though French. Canadian
when he hit a home money was blank with muscle so.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Tough Russell. Martin all, right, well so let's show Him
ma's done here. Again we got an, Opportunity. Mike the
opportunity is ours close. One all, right here we go
get put forty five. Seconds the category where we have
husbands and wives is that. Break these athletes are all
married to another. Athlete, okay you, Understand. Mike all, right
(39:31):
we'll put forty five seconds on the. Clock we need
the first and last. Name good, Luck we're on our
way and. Go currently at the quarterback of The Kansas City. Chiefs,
yes he plays. Football, actually he's no longer a football
players ON. Cbs his brother plays for The Pittsburgh steelers. Defense,
yes tight end for the believers with The Washington. Commanders
(39:53):
he was a star with The Philadelphia. Eagles he's one
of The, yes he a quarterback for notre. Name he's
a talk show host At Fox Sports. Radio Golden domer
played with The cleveland brown sucked in THE, nfl though
he's On. Fox. Yes, uh a female. GYMNAST i was
in a documentary ripping. Her she's married to A Chicago
bears tight.
Speaker 8 (40:11):
End.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Uh now a short stop for The Red sox back
when they they traded him when he won the. World,
yes a white guy for the he played for the
nixt first son of a billionaire out Of.
Speaker 9 (40:30):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
David we were trying to Get david And Simone. Biles Uh, Simone, yeah,
yeah that's all. Right WELL i Ripped Simone biles and
it made it like A netflix. DOCUMENTARY i had all
these middle aged women yelling at. Me, yeah they were
very upset with my. TAKE i did a monologue About
Simone biles getting, well yeah she got like the, twisties
(40:53):
AND i was goofing on her and then, uh they
put it in this documentary and they. Ripped they all
these middle aged women were very upset with, Anyway, wilson
it was actually a rare good. Game we don't normally get.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
That.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Rob you, won so you get a golden. Ticket, There,
Rob i've got a Golden. Chickads we didn't Get David
lee and what was, it Brock oswather was at the last,
Category Russell. Martin Russell. Martin so there you. Go all, Right,
well thank you. Gentlemen good. Job there's a mic And
rob another edition Of Mala's. Money if if you like the,
(41:27):
game we play it every week at about this. Time
if you don't like the, game we only play it
once a, Week so who the hell? CARES i, mean
lighting Up francis, right we want to play once a.
Week what's a big? Deal who cares about? That once a?
Week so that was one of the better games we've.
HAD i THINK i would say that's like a top
three game we've had this. Year sweat that was. Solid good,
job good job, boys
Boom, shaka, Laca. It's our number three. Our number three
is ready to go. Talking college football, the big news
of the day, Lane Kiffen was introduced as the new
head football coach in Baton Rouge. What can LS you
expect from Lane Kiffen as head coach? Also, Lane Kivin
(00:20):
says he will restore LSU to be the best program
in all of college football. How does that hit you?
And we had a free agent signing in Major League Baseball?
What kind of fit is closer? Devin Williams late of
the Yankees. He's staying in the Big Apple and he's
going across town over to Queens to play for the Mets.
(00:42):
We'll talk about that as well. Right now here, it
is our number three. You are not a lame brain,
you are a lane brain. Well come in the beginning
of another hour of the Ben Mallers, Joe, we are
in the air everywhere, me here and you there, as
(01:07):
we have platter perfection, coast stuck coast border to border
in beyond on the vast and spitfingly powerful microphones of
fsr M monating live from the walk It's Benny's Boardwalk
on the world famous Fox Sports Radio Studios as approved
(01:30):
by Deacon Blues. He gives the old thumbs up on
that this portion of the Ben mather Shaw on Fox
made possible in part by our friends at tire Rack.
For over forty years, ty Rak has been helping customers
like mad Jack and the Cowboy Killer find the right
tires for how, what and where they drive. I know,
that's amazing. Kathy and Madison can't believe it. Alf's shocked
(01:54):
by that they got free road hazard protection with convenient
installation options like mobile tire installation. Sirius Sean who used
to call the show. He's now retired as a caller,
but he likes that as well. Tire rack dot Com
the way tire buying shure be coming up later this hour.
(02:16):
If you stay with us for the full hour you
give us I don't know, ten minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty
minutes later on we got the Riddle of the Day,
the malor Riddle of the Day. We also have Mahler's
Mountain of Money that'll be coming up a little bit
later as well, but we're gonna start with this. It's
the story that everyone's been talking about in Cottage football.
(02:36):
Baton Rouge Louisiana and where I used to work with
a guy named Chris Landry who worked here years ago,
and he lives in Baton Rouge, the great Chris Landry.
And we actually Fox Sports Radio the company brought in
Dale Brown. You know Dale Brown is now. He was
Shaquille O'Neal's college coach at LSU. Great man, very nice man.
(02:57):
Dale Brown. He was our college basketball inside for a
year or two and he came out and did some
shows with Dale who lives I think he still lived.
I don't know if he's still around, but he lived
in Baton Rouge. So Lane Kiffin, yes that. Lane Kiffen
was introduced as the LSU football coach, promising big things
in the future. It wouldn't it be great if Lane
(03:18):
Kiffin said, listen, I think if everything goes right here
at Louisiana State, we can end up in the Weed
Eater Bowl And would wouldn't that just be one? He
didn't say that, So I know, if you saw any
of this or not, it's always over the top. It's
just great, just ridiculous. It's a religion, is what this
(03:38):
is in that part of the country, and it's just great.
So Lane Kiffin called the past six years at Ole
miss He said, the best. There's a theme, the best
six years of his life. So why would he leave?
Then he explained why he felt compelled to to say
(04:01):
bye bye to Oxford, Mississippi and to take over at
LSU a football program. He said that he's always admired.
He's always admired from AFAR. So that is a good
jumping off point. Let us discuss the question what can
ls you expect from the Lane Kiffen era as head
(04:24):
coach in Baton Rouge. So I've got Cotton Candy, the
four Seasons, and Homer Simpson, and we will combine all
of these things together and we are gonna make the
Baba Ganoosh. We're gonna make the Baba Ganoosh. All right, So,
first of all, Lane Kiffin is the human funhouse of Mirrors,
(04:49):
the guy who turns every single program into this warp
distorted carnival version of reality. And as a talk show host,
I think Lane Kiffin his teams don't actually win championships,
but they're really good for my business. And I'm worried
about having to do a daily talk show. And Lane
(05:12):
Kiffin is great. If you have a daily talk show.
So good for Lane Kivin. Now here's what we expect.
We expect a traveling circus, okay, complete with trapeze artists,
clown cars, pyrotechnics, everything. It's all part of Lane Kiffin's experience.
Every single marketing gimmick Lane Kiffin will bring to the
table right wrapped inside a publicity stunt. So he's literally
(05:37):
gonna take a marketing gimmick. He's gonna wrap it in
wrapping paper, put a bow on it, and then and
match it there with the publicity sign. So Lane Kiffin
doesn't just take jobs, okay, he creates soap operas. Soap operas.
It has been so good. Now we don't talk tons
of college football in the show because the NFL is
(05:58):
more important and bigger and all that stuff. We pick
our spots, and I would say other than Nick Sabin
at al Alabama back in the day and also at
LSU since I've been here and with the dolphin, like
Lane Kiffin's like neck and neck, and since Nick Saban
(06:18):
went away a couple of years back, lane Kiffin's adding
Mallard monologues and all that stuff. But it's like everything
he does when he leaves these jobs. When he exits
stage left from these coaching jobs, it's like a Wikipedia novel,
is what is? I don't know if you're old enough.
Remember he coached the Oakland Raiders. He wasn't ready to
(06:39):
be an NFL coach Lane Kiffin, and he proved it
on a weekly basis. He also pissed off Al Davis,
the old owner of the Raiders, and Al Davis decided
not only to fire Lane Kiffin. This was one of
the fun I remember coming in and this is like
the early days of social media. It really wasn't a thing,
but it was so great. I still remember doing the
(06:59):
show when Lane Kiffin got whacked as the Raider coach
and Al Davis a very frail old man at this point,
and then near the end, you know, the pearly gates
were saying, hey, we want you soon, and I was like,
I don't know if I want to go. But he
wasn't doing that great and so Al Davis fired Lane
kiffen and used an overhead projector to show everyone how
(07:21):
much Lane Kiffin sucked. He was so great. God is
that good? Tennessee fans. After he left Tennessee after one
year to go coach sc Tennessee fans I remember chased
him out of Knoxville like he was a Frankenstein monster
and were burning sofas. They were so upset there in Knoxville.
(07:41):
I think Danny and Nashville was one of the people
that went over to Knoxville to do that. USC literally
canned Lane Kiffen on the tarmac at lax How great
is that got fired by Al Davis on an overhead
projector Tennessee. They ran him out of town with forks
and torches. SC said, will whack you at lax And
(08:05):
on the tarmac. And Nick Saban even got rid of
Lane Kiffen a week before the national title game. And
now you've got Old Miss fans who are chaining obscenities
running him off the road in Oxford, Mississippi. The common
denominator Lane Kiffin right, you know now Lane bails on
(08:30):
Old Miss and before the playoff playoffs like a man
escaping a burning building, except the buildings not on fire.
And my guys so back. So LSU is gonna win
a bunch of games in the regular season. Lane. If
you look at what he does in the regular season,
(08:51):
he's gonna stack w's w w W w W. It's
gonna be like, I hop like hotcakes, pancakes at eye.
I'm going to stack them up there. The offense will
be fireworks. He'll get the hottest high school quarterback out
of California and bring him to Louisiana, put him in there.
The quotes will be solid gold, they'll be really good.
(09:13):
The attention will be NonStop. So Lane Kiffin coaching LSU
football is a kin to cotton candy football. It's sweet,
it's fun, it's messy, and it doesn't really fill you up.
That's Lane Kiffen. And you know the crash is coming.
You know the crash is coming. It always happens. And
(09:34):
that's the Lane train. That's the Lane Experience, high octane.
That's like a train. It turns into a roller coaster
and there's no breaks and you better buckle up for
the loop d loop in Baton rouge. All right now. Secondly,
keeping the theme going, so Lane Kiffin also walking into
(09:55):
LSU and immediately declared that LSU is going to be
the quote, the best program in all of college football.
So Lane kiff the best program in all of college football.
So the question, all right, Lane Kiffin says, he will
restore LSU football to be the best program in college Truble,
(10:15):
How does that one hit you? So on this one,
it hits me like a lawyer, an advertising lawyer, reading
the fine print on a late night infomercial and saying, okay, so,
because the legal definition is he used the word best
in advertising, So what does that mean? Okay, So the
(10:39):
term best in advertising means just as good as all
the rest in that category. So you can claim that
you have the world's greatest hogi and you can do
the hogy pokey and say, oh it's great and everything's fine.
You're not going to get suited the moment though, that
you say, hey, we are better than Nick Saban's ghost. Well,
(11:00):
then Nick Saban's ghosts could sue you. And he said,
well that's not that's not right. But how could a
ghost sue? But the ghost could sue. It could happen.
And you can claim that you're better than this that,
and you gotta prove that. But if you say you're
the best, you don't have to prove. That's how to
get sued in the court of public opinion is to
(11:22):
say you're better than Nick Saban or this guy or
that guy. And you're not gonna do that now he's
he's stepping in. Though you think about LSU football for
Lane Kiffin, this is a carsal haul of the SEC.
It just is right. All the creature comforts when you're
in Baton rouge, all the perks for the players, all
(11:42):
the bells, the whistles, the fog machines, the DJ boost,
all that stuff. The players at LSU are pampered and coddled.
They just are. And it's like they're checking in at
the four seasons. They're getting paid their nil money, the
star players. They have the concierge service as well, the
nil concierge service. Everything you need. LSU's got money, money, money,
(12:05):
they got the bankroll. They've got more money there than
some small nations. Oh k, it's insane. They get all
the facilities, everything you want, all the newest gadgets and
gizmo's and all that good stuff. It's like a nasive
training module. If you've seen some of the videos on
the YouTube of the LSU football. And they've got a
(12:27):
ravenous fan base just like they had an ole miss
So that's more the same. It's a little bigger at
LSU and they wake up angry. They wake up hungry, hungry, hungry.
They're like hungry hippos, and some of them the size
of hippos. And listen promises, though are l cheap out.
They are l cheap out, And anyone can sell Wolf
(12:47):
tickets in December right now, Lane's got no excuse. This
is the problem, all right. People are not gonna wait
around four years. You don't need to wait around four years.
In mind, in college football, you can literally buy a
team in one off season with the right nil payments.
So you look around. You can't blame the fact that
(13:10):
you don't have enough money to get into the portal.
You got plenty of money. You can't blame the boosters.
They're giving you about one hundred million dollars. You can't
blame the schedule because you're supposed to have all the
great players and all that stuff, and it's sisily. Lane
Kiffin is now running a high end steakhouse and pretty
much everyone else is flipping burgers now. Personally, I like
(13:34):
a good cheeseburger, like a smash burger. I'm a fan
a lot of you low. I want a Porterhouse steak
and this, that and the other. Not about that, but
If lane Kiffin, though, does not win a championship, as
the kids say, a natty. If he doesn't win a championship,
and I'm talking right in that first two years for
(13:54):
Lane Kiffin, then this will go from a bold proclamation
for the Lane Train to a late night comedy routine
as they then chase him out of baton rouge and
then he runs somewhere else to go back to sc
or somewhere if this completely blows up. So that's how
that's going to go. All right? Final thought to baseball, baseball?
(14:20):
What are you doing talking about baseball? What is up
with that? I don't understand all I mean I do?
There we go, The computer here falls asleep every fifteen minutes.
Really good equipment we have here at the company. So
anyway to baseball. Free agent, free agent signing. Pitcher on
the move. A Domino has fallen in Major League Baseball
(14:44):
after spending the twenty twenty five season with the New
York Yankees. Relief pitcher Devin Williams. Good old Devin Williams
is looking to change locations, and he is changing uniforms,
he's changing laundry. He has agreed to a deal in
principle the news coming down on Monday. Did you hear
(15:05):
you did not? Devin Williams at one point the top
relief pitcher in all of baseball for the Milwaukee brew Crew.
The Brewers. Well, Devin Williams is now taking his talents
from the New York Yankees. Two revealed answers, revealed answers
The New York Mets. Oh my god, he's going Crosstown.
(15:25):
Oh my goodness, Devin Williams. I know Uncle Moe is
very excited about this. He's in Jersey, he's a Yankee fan.
He's happy. In fact, Uncle Moe's offered to drive Devin
Williams to over to Flushing if he needs none, need
to take the subway or anything like that, or a
car service, He'll drive him over to make sure he
doesn't pitch for the Yankees anymore. So, three year contract
(15:49):
for over fifty million dollars for Devin Williams. Question, what
kind of a fit is closer Devin Williams with the
New York Mets. All right, so this is like Homer
Simpson's Friends Itchy and Scratchy, the Itchy and Scratchy Show,
where yeah, he's a scratchy sweater is what he is.
(16:15):
Looks good in the window, right, looks good in the window.
But once you put the sweater on, you're itching and
you're regretting every decision you ever made. That's essentially what
Devin Williams is. It's itchy and scratchy. It's Homer Simpson's friends.
It's a it's a it's a sweater. It's It's like
the Mets decided we're gonna go out and pay full
(16:36):
price for a clearance rack cardigan. Now you gotta think
that Edwin Diez is gone. He is also a free agent.
I for one, am very happy the Mets made this move.
As a Dodger supporter, somewhat, I'm told I'm not a
good Dodger fan because I pointed out Clayton Kershaw sucks
in big games. But anyway, he's done, so I guess
(16:57):
I'm allowed back into the Blue crew. I'm so happy.
I was worried that Devin Williams is gonna sign with
the Dodgers. I was like, oh God, please no, please, no,
please no, please no, thank God, let him go to
the mess. Devin Williams coming off a season where his
big accomplishment with the Yankees was to convince them to
change the facial hair policy. The Yankees were so horny
(17:19):
to get this guy from the Brewers that they got him.
And he wants to grow facial hair. Okay, we'll let
that happen. Then he went out there and Handy Aria
almost five. They should put the rule back in, say
no facial hair, because this guy sucks the anxiety spiral
in the Bronx. He didn't just struggle, he was the closer.
He lost the job. I think he lost the job
(17:40):
by like early May, got the job back, lost it again.
He burst into flames like a cheap microwave. You got
on Timu right, and it was just horrific, bad to
the bone. And there's a thing. If you're old, you
know what this is. But the Yankees for years, this
goes back forty years. It's called ed Whitsen disease. The
(18:00):
Yankee spent a lot of money on this great pitcher,
Ed Witson, and he got to the Yankees and the
only thing he was good at was fighting with Billy Martin,
the Yankee manager. He couldn't handle pitching in New York.
Spoiler alert, Devin Williams can't handle pitching in New York.
The now Queens is not the Bronx. It's also not
a day SBA pitching for the Mets, and so City
(18:21):
Field is not some kind of meditation retreat compared to
Yankee Stadium. You're still dealing with the back pages of
the tabloids, the angry talk radio callers, the guy who's
been drinking all day, who's a construction worker from Long
Island who's complaining about your whip and how you ruined
his parlay the other day. Now that the top scenario,
(18:43):
the top scenario is that Williams is able to stabilize
the ninth inning and look somewhat like the Milwaukee Monster
that he was a couple of years ago. Problem, even
if he does that during the regular season, you're still
gonna need that in the playoffs. And this guy's got
artist all over him, as in choke artist. He's a
(19:03):
grenade with a loose pin in the Mets bullpen. And
this is another thing where that the analytics say doesn't
matter location, city, environment, They don't factor any of those
things in. So the analytics say, this guy was really good,
he had an off year, and pitchers bounce back, and
you take out the human element but that's now the
(19:25):
Mets problem as Devin Williams goes to the New York Metropolitans.
The free agent signing that came down, and I'm still
waiting for Kyle Schwarber to choose his new team. And
there's a couple other big names. Not a great year
for free agency, but there's a couple of big names
out there. Also a lot of owners complaining crying poverty,
which I always like because there's a labor stoppage that's
(19:47):
on the horizon in Major League Baseball. Will take your
calls eight seven, seven ninety nine on Fox Time Now though,
for the Mallor Riddle of the day. And here's the
Mallard Riddle of the day. A New England Patriot fan
w viral on Monday night when he brought a blank
to the game against the Giants. Again, a Patriots fan
(20:08):
went viral when he brought a blank to the Monday
night football game. And fill in the blank. That is
the Mallard riddle of the day. The answer, We'll get
to it. We'll do it next.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maler
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Hey, it's Rob Parker and Calvin Washington from The Odd
Couple on Fox Sports Radio.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
And in addition to hearing us live weeknights from seven
to ten pm Eastern on Fox Sports Radio, we are
excited to announce brand new YouTube channel for the show.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
That's right. You can now watch The Odd Couple live
on YouTube every day.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
All you gotta do search Odd Couple FSR on YouTube
again YouTube, Just search Odd Couple FSR.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Check us out on YouTube and subscribe side no nah out, Ben.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Grown straw, want soupies, many budget goals, chime with games notes, biscreen, coo,
(21:43):
biz creaming, Bill Miller and you.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
It is the Ben Mallor Show. Happy Holidays a classic
Mallor holiday tune. Always play this around the holidays, set
in the right mood. If you'd like to submit a
malar holiday tune that we'll get a lot of airplay.
There's a lot of airplay. No AI, it's gotta be
(22:11):
you gotta be now. We don't want we want real
human beings, real So send it in care of Benmahlor
Show at gmail dot com. That's Benmallor Show at gmail
dot com ature. You put song in the headline there
and good luck back to it. We go this classic
(22:33):
in tune. Time to pay off the malar riddle of
the day, and then we will get to the wacky,
wacky world of the calls. And later this hour we
have Mallard's amount of money. But first the riddle of
the day. A Patriot fan has gone viral when he
brought a blank to the Monday night football game. All right,
(22:56):
let's see you here. Andy in Lino Lakes, Minnesota says
he brought his own play by play guy to the game.
That would be odd pet dinosaur from Scrooge. He's in
the younger demo in the Bay Area, but soon he'll
be in the older demo. Lady Sideburn says a Barbie
dreamhouse now, that would be impressive. Miguel on Fire says
the Patriot fan went viral bringing an oil painting of
(23:17):
weed man hippie Okay, green glittery gorilla with the Ganjo
rolled up in a Garcia Vega from far out. Dave
was very far out. He brought the Baba ganoosh from
the tailgate. That's alf the alien old Piner courtesy Flesher
(23:38):
said his wife. Well, she's a lovely lady in my
apologies to her or it or whatever. That is his
custom jersey from King Rory. Wow, quite the jersey. Who
else a page then? A blow up doll he got
off Timu from Milkman Mike in Colorado. A street taco
vendor with a Mariachi band from Doug in South Korea. Uh,
(24:00):
Paige down an emotional support donkey is the answer? A
gallon of chatta from Eke in Roseville, Minnesota. A taser
from Dante Joe the ghost owner, says Tom Brady. Pajamas
with a flap in the back to use the squatty body.
My lucky socks, says JT. But wing met. J T
(24:21):
was at the Titans game over the over the weekend.
He said, I didn't say it was very good football,
but he was there, I think with his lady friend.
Who else do we have? A page down? BP says
the Patriot fan brought a Jordan Hudson blow up doll
unless he didn't uh, some kind of inflatable from Johnny Q.
(24:41):
A Polish sausage from David That's his answer? Who else
we have? Paige? Dn us? Your bill said some nonsense
a John Deere tractor from Philler up. Phil fan brought
a live goat to the game from Fat Daddy, that's
his answer. Attillo in Floridas says he brought he brought
the gabba gool. It was clearly the gobba ghool that
(25:04):
he brought, all right, Lorraine, No, it's the mallord riddle
of the day. And again for those of you, a
little late, bad job by you, you have been marked
on the on the sheet as late. A Patriot fan
went viral when he brought a blank to the Monday
night football game with the Giants, a bildo. Wow, uh no,
(25:25):
that is incorrect. Brought a live duck. Quack quack quack
quack quack. What Yeah, guy brought a duck. There's got
to be more of this. You're not allowed to just
go into the stadium with a duck like that. This
is an emotional support duck. I don't know, I need.
There's gotta be more. If anybody knows how that guy
(25:46):
got the duck in the stadium, or maybe the duck
flew into the stadium and the guy grabbed it and
made it his pet duck. How about that? It's conceivable
that that happened possible indeed, and uh yeah, the guy
was he's holding up that there's a live duck holding
it up, and it didn't. It looked like I mean,
it was fake. It seemed like a real It was
(26:08):
moving around, breathing like a real duck. All let's go
to the phones and we'll say hello to Jed who fled,
who is a duck expert. And Jed's old enough to
remember when Florida State used to get the top coaches
in college football. Well, actually they never did because they
always had Bobby Bowden. What's going on, Jed? Who fled? Jed? Jed? Jed,
Jed Jed. Apparently Jed has fled, so he's left the building,
(26:31):
which is unfortunate. Don't worry, he'll call back. Very upset.
Let's go to Hawaii. We say helloha to Dorkoh in Hawaii.
Aloha Dorko, Hi Fanas, it's me Dorkoh. Well, it's better
luck next year for my mini Sodas fight Queen's football team.
Speaker 5 (26:53):
But I am more concerned about Big Glue. Well, he
by next year reveal his last name, and because he
is big, maybe it will be Big Lou Figno.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Dorko, I have made I am so happy you've called
the show. Dorko. I can't tell you how it really
means a lot to me that you've chosen to call
the show. And are you Are you actually in Hawaii
or you just made that up?
Speaker 5 (27:23):
You know?
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Are you really in Hawaii?
Speaker 5 (27:25):
Yes, my friend comedian pianol Montre lives here.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Oh he doesn't. You're just visiting? Or you live there?
Speaker 6 (27:33):
No?
Speaker 5 (27:33):
I live in the same house as he times.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Oh you do? Okay, I got you? All right, that's
very good. And what part of what island are.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
You on there?
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Dorco? Are you.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
With Hana LULUs?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah? Honolulu? Gotcha? Gotcha? All right? Go you should go
hang ten on the North Shore.
Speaker 5 (27:53):
Go over to the North Idea, except for that's too
scary for me. But Dannel goes there.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Oh he does. I got you. How are you in
Hawaii for when you're coming back to the mainland.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
I don't think they have our vacation. We will for
Super Bowl stupid Bowl.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Yeah, I got you?
Speaker 2 (28:13):
All right.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Well listen fascinating as always, dark, Oh, amazing content. We're
so happy you've called the show. Thank you, Thank you
BG hright bye bye, Hello there, it goes Darko from Hawaii.
That's about them something kind of I think there might
be a comedy bit doing that working material. Possibly. Let's
(28:33):
go to Spud. Spud is in La what's going on?
Spud in La La Land?
Speaker 7 (28:40):
I gotta go old school with your bend. Here a
couple of Lane Kiff analogies. First of all, is Lean
Kiff and the Larry Brown of college football, actually football
Larry of course at UCLA Kansas and a Tunnet NBA
team including the Pistons couldn't stay in one place very long.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Yeah, yeah, the Clipper coach, the Clippers coach the Spurs, Yeah,
is all over the place.
Speaker 7 (29:09):
Yeah yeah. Second second, uh, you know, I've heard the
notion of Michigan and of course mission I'd love to
see Ole Miss run the table like when Michigan said
Bill Frieder get out of there and Steve Fisher led
them to the promise.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Now you're sure about that, because did you see Spud
that If old Miss is able to run the table,
that Lane Kiffin the bonus baby. Lane Kiffin is going
to cash in that. He's going, He's going, He's gonna
is a wild So if those didn't see it, Lane
Kiffin spuds on the ball here. But Lane Kiffin is
(29:48):
going to receive a playoff bonus from LSU if ole
miss wins despite not actually coaching LSU and the college
football playoff. That's how desperate l as You was to
get Lane Kiffin that he'll be one. Imagine watching those games,
It's like Lane Kiffen has a massive bet on every game,
on every game.
Speaker 7 (30:09):
So you remember some of the players there, Ben who
played for Michigan.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Well, what era of Michigan?
Speaker 7 (30:16):
What do you when? They won nineteen eighty nine led
by Glenn Rice.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Oh the Michigan Oh yeah, basketball, sure, Glenn Rice, Yeah.
Speaker 7 (30:24):
Yeah, the the underrated Glenn Rice.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Rumel Robbins, I remember, not a great NBA player, Remeal
Robinson with a good college player, no, and he had quite.
Speaker 7 (30:34):
A checkered history after playing in the NBA. You can
check that out. But you know who is on that team,
Rob Paalinka.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Oh skinny jeans. Yeah, you're talking about living living a
charmed life, Rob Polink. They gotta get rid of And
now that the Lakers are gonna get real owners, they
got to go to Rob Polinka. I got it own.
Speaker 7 (30:53):
I think that's gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Yep, yeah, I agree. All right, well thank us, Bud.
All right, there you care, great spud. There he goes,
where he goes? I don't know. There you go. So
l Lane Kiffin.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
The uh.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
By the way, we need contestants if you would like to.
But we have a game show which is moments away,
and if we you know, we just got a bunch
of calls. But if you want to play the game,
it's Mallar's Mountain of Money eight seven seven. I'll give
you the inside number eight seven seven nine nine six
six three six line. That's the inside number. Get in
right now, play Maller's amount of Money eight seven seven
(31:28):
nine to nine six six three six'. Nine so this
bonus thing With Lane kiffen is next. Level it's just absolutely.
Outstanding and so if The rebels are in the final
bracket of the, Committee Lane kiffin was he was going
to get one hundred and fifty thousand dollars for it
(31:49):
From Old miss just for playing a game in the first.
Round but now lsu is going to pay all this bonus,
money and like we're talking hundreds of thousands of the
hundreds of thousands of. DOLLARS i think seven hundred and
fifty thousand If Old miss reaches the national title. Game
if Old miss actually, wins they're. Not but if they
(32:10):
do win the title, Game Lane kiffin was going to
receive one million, dollars and AS i understand, it he's
still gonna get this bonus money from FROM. Lsu so
here you, go all, right it is The Ben Mahlor.
Show as we press on, here we've got coming up
here in a, Moment mallards mountain of. Money you want
(32:31):
to set this, Up coop? Quickly or should we just
we'll set it? Up, okay we don't need to play the.
Imaging let's welcome in our. Contestants who do we have.
Here we've Got rob In maine who called up right. Away, Rob, hello.
Welcome what's happening waiting on a big old snowstorm up here?
Today Benny, BLACK i wanted it to happen last night
BECAUSE i was hoping to watch a snow. GAME i
(32:52):
didn't get the snow. Game i'm bummed out by.
Speaker 5 (32:54):
That that was Gonna we'll have to have a few
in the.
Speaker 7 (32:57):
Playoffs don't.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Worry oh look at, you you're. BACK i thought you
were Text, no you're. Done with. That you're back on
what they?
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Fight? BILL i jumped back, On.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
BABY i got? You all, Right, rob who do you
want to partner up?
Speaker 7 (33:06):
With? Rob bronco's?
Speaker 4 (33:08):
Baby?
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Okay oh? God hold? On and we Have mike In.
Boston what's going? On? Mike welcome? Mikey what's?
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Up?
Speaker 7 (33:17):
Hey what's? Up? Man what's going?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
On what's going? On what are you? Doing you're driving?
Around you're working right? Now where are? You what are
you doing on my way to?
Speaker 7 (33:23):
Work oh?
Speaker 1 (33:24):
God all? Right, well who do you want to partner up? With?
Speaker 8 (33:27):
Yeah you?
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Okay all? Right, Sorry, lorena you're not. Popular he's the
only Time larana is not? Popular is this game right?
Here all?
Speaker 8 (33:34):
Right go?
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Ahead, cool all, right.
Speaker 9 (33:35):
Gentlemen this Is Malor's mount Of, money The Bloody allen.
Edition he turned ninety years old On. Sunday that seems
old to.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Me. Yes.
Speaker 9 (33:42):
Uh the categories are take The money and run midnight In,
paris husbands and wives and small time? Crooks and Uh
rob was on, First robbish, category would you.
Speaker 5 (33:54):
Like take the money and? Run all?
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Right and Then, mike how about you small time? Crooks
small time? Crooks all? Right, everyone hold, on do not
hang up we will Have Malor's mountain Of money in its.
Entirety we'll get to. That we will do it.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Next be sure to catch live editions Of The Ben
Mallor show weekdays at two Am eastern eleven Pm.
Speaker 6 (34:16):
PACIFIC i don't need presents underneath The christmas tree so,
bright no gaming, consoles. TVs i don't even need a.
BIKE i don't need a brand new.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Phone ALL i needs radio.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
So THAT i can listen to The Ban Mallor. Show
ALL i need is the Band malor, Show Bill miller
And you and is a man swear show talking over a.
Vocal Happy. HOLIDAYS a reminder to support the. Show pick
that down a little bit the YouTube. Channel we leave
by two, Channels Ben Malor show On YouTube And Benny
(34:56):
vspenny For benny versus The. Penny check out those, channels,
follow subscribe to the, channels support the, show comment on the,
videos and we thank, You we thank, you we thank.
Speaker 8 (35:07):
You we think we Now Mailor's mountain Of. Money do
you have what it takes to get to the. Top probably.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Not let's do it right. Now and this, show by the,
way sponsored By Draft kings sportsbook and official sports betting
partner of THE nfl AND nba right, now use the
promo Code mallor that's M a l E r to
claim your special offer At Draft. Kings, again that's promo Code.
Malor At, DraftKings the crown is. Yours we've Got mike
In boston who is teamed up with. Me rob In
(35:41):
maine waiting for the snow teamed up With. Coop rob
was on the air, First so you will go With
coop The Woody allen Edition. Cooplehop, yes that is, correct Right.
Speaker 9 (35:52):
Rob we have take the money and. Run these athletes
didn't live up to their mega. Contracts we need the
first and last. Name forty five seconds on the. Clock
are you, Ready, Rob? Rob, yes, okay all, right forty
five seconds let's, begin all. Right he's the quarterback for
The Cleveland browns who loved. Massages. Yes, uh this guy
(36:17):
was nicknamed The machine in. Baseball he was with The
angels for like ten years and sucked for most of. Them, Albert,
yes this guy was on The Orlando magic and The Detroit.
Pistons his dad was in THE. Nfl, yes this guy
was a quarterback for The Denver broncos and The Chicago.
Bears his nickname Was Smoking, yes the Rain man from
(36:41):
The Seattle. SuperSonics, yes this guy was Another angel, player
a third baseman from The Washington.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Nationals, yes let's.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Go and then a.
Speaker 9 (36:51):
Quarterback he was on The, broncos but it was The
texans who gave him a big. Contract oh didn't get
it In, No, yeah, yeah we're.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Up now that's shaw him has Done that was pathetic
By coop And. Rob not good at. All, Well sean
has done. Here all, Right, mike here we. Go you
picked small time. Crooks these athletes have all been caught. Stealing,
okay you, ready let's do all, Right, mike forty five.
Seconds we need the first and last. Name. Runaway this
guy played quarterback In Florida. State he loved crab. Legs
(37:20):
he's now in THE nfl with The. Yes he was
known as The juice with The Buffalo. Bills he also Liked.
Yes currently the coach of The New England. Patriots, yes
known As nails for the eighty Six, mets also played
for The. Phillies outfielder had a lot of.
Speaker 5 (37:39):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Uh he was a quarterback for The, chargers drafted After Peyton,
manning one of the great busts IN nfl draft Teds,
No no before. That, yes he played basketball At Notre.
Dame he's currently a colleague of mine here At Fox Sports.
Radio he's a college basketball coach In, Wisconsin Green. Bay,
(38:01):
yeah there you, Go. Stole we didn't get point in all, right.
Speaker 5 (38:07):
Crazy match so?
Speaker 9 (38:08):
Far all?
Speaker 5 (38:09):
Right?
Speaker 9 (38:09):
Rob do you want midnight In paris or husbands and wives?
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Midnight all?
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Right?
Speaker 9 (38:15):
Uh these athletes all have at least Some french. Heritage
forty five seconds on the. Clock let's. Begin current quarterback
for The, Lions Jared, yes this guy is the best
player in THE nba right. Now huge guy on The. Spurs,
yes this guy was nicknamed The Stifled. Tower he was
(38:36):
a center on The jazz and The. Timberwolves, yes this
guy was a point guard on The. Spurs he was
married to an. Actress, yes this guy was on The Florida,
gators then The. Bulls his dad was a tennis. Player let's.
Go this guy was a closer for The dodgers eighty
eight saves in a row or something like.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
That.
Speaker 9 (38:56):
Eric, yes this guy was a catcher for The dodgers
and The. Yankees he was From, canada Though French. Canadian
when he hit a home money was blank with muscle so.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Tough Russell. Martin all, right, well so let's show Him
ma's done here. Again we got an, Opportunity. Mike the
opportunity is ours close. One all, right here we go
get put forty five. Seconds the category where we have
husbands and wives is that. Break these athletes are all
married to another. Athlete, okay you, Understand. Mike all, right
(39:31):
we'll put forty five seconds on the. Clock we need
the first and last. Name good, Luck we're on our
way and. Go currently at the quarterback of The Kansas City. Chiefs,
yes he plays. Football, actually he's no longer a football
players ON. Cbs his brother plays for The Pittsburgh steelers. Defense,
yes tight end for the believers with The Washington. Commanders
(39:53):
he was a star with The Philadelphia. Eagles he's one
of The, yes he a quarterback for notre. Name he's
a talk show host At Fox Sports. Radio Golden domer
played with The cleveland brown sucked in THE, nfl though
he's On. Fox. Yes, uh a female. GYMNAST i was
in a documentary ripping. Her she's married to A Chicago
bears tight.
Speaker 8 (40:11):
End.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Uh now a short stop for The Red sox back
when they they traded him when he won the. World,
yes a white guy for the he played for the
nixt first son of a billionaire out Of.
Speaker 9 (40:30):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
David we were trying to Get david And Simone. Biles Uh, Simone, yeah,
yeah that's all. Right WELL i Ripped Simone biles and
it made it like A netflix. DOCUMENTARY i had all
these middle aged women yelling at. Me, yeah they were
very upset with my. TAKE i did a monologue About
Simone biles getting, well yeah she got like the, twisties
(40:53):
AND i was goofing on her and then, uh they
put it in this documentary and they. Ripped they all
these middle aged women were very upset with, Anyway, wilson
it was actually a rare good. Game we don't normally get.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
That.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Rob you, won so you get a golden. Ticket, There,
Rob i've got a Golden. Chickads we didn't Get David
lee and what was, it Brock oswather was at the last,
Category Russell. Martin Russell. Martin so there you. Go all, Right,
well thank you. Gentlemen good. Job there's a mic And
rob another edition Of Mala's. Money if if you like the,
(41:27):
game we play it every week at about this. Time
if you don't like the, game we only play it
once a, Week so who the hell? CARES i, mean
lighting Up francis, right we want to play once a.
Week what's a big? Deal who cares about? That once a?
Week so that was one of the better games we've.
HAD i THINK i would say that's like a top
three game we've had this. Year sweat that was. Solid good,
job good job, boys
Host
Ben Maller
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