January 5, 2026 • 33 mins
Vanderpump Rules star Lala Kent used to be a Samantha but now finds another character much more relatable and is in sync with who she has become.
Lala has strong opinions about Big and Aiden and of them is “bugging” her in this episode. Kristin and Lala point out something fascinating about the women and their careers vs their love lives. And, Lala has a hot take about Carrie.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know, are
you a Charlotte. Tell me what you were telling me
before about how you have watched the show or which parts.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
So I used to watch like random episodes with my
best friend in the seventh grade.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
I don't know if we had any.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Business watching Sex in the City in the seventh grade,
but we would do it. We would steal her mom's car,
go to this place called Cafe Training, get takeout Chinese
food in Utah, in Utah, Oh my gosh, wow, come
back to her house and just like whatever was playing,
I guess it.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Well, you know when they would.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Do I don't know what this is, probably when it
was on e right like like it did it have
the bad words and stuff taken out?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
No? Oh, okay o, we will in it. Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So recently, I want to say, maybe like five six
months ago, I was like, you know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna start Sex in the City from start to finish.
I am obsessed. When I was asked this podcast, I
was so intimidated.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Oh no, I was like taking notes on the episode.
That's endorable. I can't wait to hear your thoughts.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
So when you so so so.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
Have you seen the whole thing yet?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I have seen so how many seasons were this there's
six seasons, yes, season one through six. I watched all
of that, okay, and then I had seen the movies.
So now what I've been told because I was posting
throughout as I was watching got it being like I
just started this show is amazing. Everyone's like, this is
crazy that you, of all people have never seen it.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
It is a little crazy, right right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I'm all about sex and I'm all about it being
in the city, and so now I'm going to go
back and watch the movies even though I've seen that.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Right, and We'll start and just like post exactly post school.
I love it. I love it. I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
So what I mean, I wish I had been following
along as you were posting, but I have you in person,
so I should just hear in person. So obviously everyone
tells me, and I'm rewatching it now for the first time, right, Like,
I saw each episode as we were going, and sometimes
it would be rough, it wouldn't be finished, like there
would be music missing, or there would be a visual
effects missing or things like that, Right, but we were
(02:10):
always really anxious to see you know, we would at
least I remember us being in Sir Jusca said she
didn't watch.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
All of it, but I feel like she did.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I feel like we talked about it, but that was
obviously a very long time ago. But we would run home,
we would get VHS from HBO and before it aired, yeah,
and go run home and watch it because we were
you know, we were so in in it, in it
and of it, like everything was exciting, you know, of course.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
And then I didn't ever like to rewatch it when
it was on E or on the different you know,
versions of what it was on, because it seemed like
I would get stuck in the past, like I didn't
want to just sit and think about it. And I
would just walk by and be like, oh, look at
where still we look.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
So young, you know, and just keep going. You know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Do you feel like you were critical?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Well?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I definitely am critical, but probably more critical when I
would first watch it, Okay, and that has gotten better
with time, right, because now it is thirty almost thirty
years later.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Wow, this is insane.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
There's nothing I can do now about my performance, right, nope,
it's off my shoulders. Like, for instance, there is a
scene in this episode. I have rewatched this episode twice now, Oh,
I should tell everybody we are rewatching Easy Come, Easy Go,
which I have to say is one of the best.
It's good episodes. Oh my gosh, so much happens. It's
(03:28):
season three and it's when I get engaged. So when
Kyle Kyle recently came on and we discussed, so I
had watched all kind of the highlights of the Tray relationship,
but then I rewatched it this morning before I was
going to see you, because it's just such a great
episode and.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
So much happens. Yeah, so much happens.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
But there is a scene in this episode, and I
remember at the time also feeling like I didn't do
it well.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
And then when I.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Watched it for Kyle, I also thought I didn't do
it well.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
And then this third time watching I was like, no.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
It's fine, like I actually crushed it. I don't know
if I crushed it.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
I never think that way, right, But the scene when
I go to.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Tell Carry about the engagement, yeah, I don't love my
performance then, And I have a very very visceral memory
of what it was like on the set that day
because everyone had When I say everyone, I mean behind
the camera, right. Like it was directed by Charles McDougal,
so one of my favorite directors, and Charles is a
great director because he doesn't really micromanage. But the way
(04:24):
that our show was, our writers were very, very involved
and they were always there. So Michael Patrick King wrote
our episode. He's one of our executive producers. We love
him very much. But also we had a bunch of
women writers and they would all be there, like if
it was a big scene, everybody would be there and
everyone would basically tell you what they wanted you to do,
especially back then, like now I would be like, okay, guys,
that's enough, Like let me.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Just do it right exactly.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
But back then, this.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Was really Charlotte's first big storyline, you know, and like
with a lot going on over many episodes, and in
this beginning with Trey, we were really laying the groundwork
of what was going to happened between me and him. Right,
So the whole idea that she's been wanting this proposal,
wanting this proposal. One in this proposal and then she
kind of blows it by basically proposing to herself. They
(05:10):
wanted me to just be like I don't think they
wanted me to be tearful, but they just wanted me
to be in shock. So I'm trying to play shock
through an entire scene, which is very hard, like possibly impossible,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
It's really interesting to hear your perspective on that, because
that's actually one of my favorite parts, where you're at
the door and you walk in and it's you're just
like in a fog and you can tell that. Here's
what I love about the entire show is, as I've
gotten older, I see myself at the age of thirty
(05:44):
five in each of you. There was for such a
long time it was like which one are you? Yes,
the wind blew the wrong way for Charlotte and she
doesn't do well with that. No, she has she how
she wants something to go yes, and that's very much me.
So when she wanted it so badly at that dinner
(06:07):
and then you're just at Carrie's door.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I loved it, you did.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
I loved it so good because I felt like there
was so much going on in your head that you're
still trying to process, Like I was upset.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Oh my god, that.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Makes me so because really, you can never be objective
about yourself. Really, I'm saying, you just know what you
were trying to do, and you know what everyone's telling
you to do, and you see the work like I
can see myself like trying to do what they were
telling me to do, rather than just kind of breathing
and living. But she is just kind of processing, You're right,
which is which is stuck In a way. I felt
(06:43):
like what their direction was at the time was a
little bit stuck. Like they can get an idea, writers
especially can get an idea, but it's.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Hard to act an idea.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
You have to really go with what's happening.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
You know what I mean, of course.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
But Charlotte is very in her head, you know, like
in general right as like you said, the kind of
vision of what she wants, right or what she's expecting,
and then life doesn't live up to it, which of
course it wouldn't. How could it possibly, you know what
I mean? No one can read your mind, right, No,
she's like a big thing, a big thing with Charlotte
(07:16):
for forever, really, you know, you know, yes, her vision
versus reality.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Versus reality and that's what I loved about it. And
I loved when you were at lunch meeting Trey's mom
for the first time and you were clocking little things like.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
How I like that.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I like that?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
I just find Charlotte to be so sweet and interesting,
and I relate to that. As I get older and
have more experiences with different types.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Of men, Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Who did you used to relate to?
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I used to feel like I was just a Samantha,
like very much.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
So really yes, even your young self my young yet wow,
love that.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I I mean obviously, when I first started watching fourteen,
I didn't relate.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
To any of you. I just didn't believe I was
seeing boobs on.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Hold totally crazy words totally. And you're in Utah too,
so it's even more like you're in a very kind
of more conservative environment.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Yeah. I was like, this is awesome.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Made you want to get out, I'm sure right the moment.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
That I became sexually active, I was like, oh I
am samanthized it gets fantastic.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
That's great about it, that's so great.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
And then as you you get older, I developed an
appreciation for Miranda, where like I have to say.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
By the by the time.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
It was over, I was like, at this stage of
my life, even though I can say, like, I think
most women have a.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Piece of each of you. Yeah, as a whole, I
think I'm mostly Miranda. I love that.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
That's super interesting.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah, wow wow.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Well, let me say I've never seen vander Pump Rules,
so I don't know. I don't have a lot of
preconceived notions about you.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Right, that's great.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Yes, it's really nice though I have enough knowledge from
your podcast. Untraditionally, la Lah, because you are creating your
own life in the way that you want it, and
I am of the same thinking. I came from South Carolina,
which was very traditional, though my parents weren't really like
super preppy or anything like that. But I was surrounded
by you know, everyone talked about wanting to get married
(09:29):
and wanting to get engaged and blah blah blah, everybody blonde.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
You know what I'm saying, the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
And I was an actress from a young age, so
I wanted to get out as soon as I could.
I just wanted to go to New York, which I
eventually did. It took a while, but I wanted to,
you know, have a different life, a more adventurous life,
a different life.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
And I have absolutely had that. Yes, it's been fun.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
You've had a very fun life.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I have.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
I have had a very fun and adventurous life.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
How old were you when you left? I went to college.
My dad was a college professor. So I wanted to
move directly to New York at eighteen, and he said no.
And he was right because I was not yet sober.
And had I moved directly to New York in the
eighties not sober, it would have gone really badly. So
I'm so lucky that he said, no, you cannot do that,
(10:14):
young lady.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
What on earth?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
You know?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
He was like, you must go to college.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
So I went to Rutgers because they had a BFA
acting program. Amazing, Yeah, and I could be close to
the city and go into sea plays, and you know,
I just wanted to be as close as I could
to the Broadway of it, all right, you know, And
I was, which was great, Which was great, It was
perfect because I did need that time to During that
time is when I realized that I needed to get
a hold of my my my abuse of alcohol, predominantly alcohol,
(10:40):
I mean other things about you. Yeah, I've been sober
so long that I don't talk about it all the time.
But yeah, thank god, thank God for you.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I mean in common, Yeah, I know, I love that,
And I don't know how I would have navigated. First
of all, New York in the late eighties was just insanity.
I mean, I remember I was kind of alone and
being sober. I wasn't really in a program at that time,
and I didn't know anyone who was sober except I
had a boyfriend who was sober. Oh great, yeah, so
we could be together in it. But I remember just
(11:08):
walking I had to walk. I had a waitressing job,
and I would walk home and I would walk by
the limelight like all the crazy clubs and just be like, oh,
thank god, I'm not in there.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
I don't know what would happen to me.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So you never felt triggered once you moved out. You
felt like you were strong in your sobriety when you
when you moved and were in that environment.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
You know, I did feel triggered for sure, but I
didn't ever fall, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I
think largely because of John, my boyfriend, who was super sweet.
He was in some ways like the police. You know,
he'd been sober for a while, and he was very protective,
and I think he knew the dangers more than I
(11:46):
did in a way, you know, of like he'd been out.
He was three or four years older than me at
the time. He'd already been out and you know, lived
life in the city and knew how crazy it could be.
So he was very protective. And that helped me get
over the initial hump of like being out in the
crazy world and trying to be sober. But it was
lonely in the way of like my roommate was wild,
(12:09):
you know what I'm saying, Like there were all these
wild people.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Around me, and I would just be like, no, I'm
just going.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
To stay home, right, keep your blinders on, you know,
where you have business being and where you do not.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
And then I moved here in the nineties. Also insane.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Oh cocaine. Oh, I can't even imagine.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah, everywhere, cocaine everywhere, everywhere, Oh and everywhere.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Part of my language I don't with that, right, No, No,
it's serious, it is serious.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
It's really not good.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
So I remember being at parties and seeing like dinner
plates with a Mountain.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I would just be like, lovely, lovely.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I know, the nineties here was woooo, there's a lot.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
It was a lot.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
And I do remember there were people in my life
who not not my Like I have a publicist I've
had for over thirty years, of a manager I've had
for thirty years. I mean, I've had like a really
great team. But there were other people that I meet
along the way and they'd be like, you've.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Got to go out to parties.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I was like, whoever got a job from going to parties?
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
No one gets a job. And when you're sober, you
realize you're all in one big room talking about bullshit.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Totally.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
It's actually quite insane, exactly.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Like, there have been moments in my seven years and
some change where I've gone out to nightclubs and I'm
watching people and I'm like, do we all realize that
we're in like a concrete room just with music that's
way too loud?
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Horrible?
Speaker 4 (13:36):
I know, horrible.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
No one realizes now, I know, well, because I think
you're really you just think that you have to do it,
or you think you're supposed to do it, or you
think that that's how something meaningful is going to happen
in your life.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
I don't know why nothing ever, good guy.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I agree you No, I agree, I agree totally.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I worry for the young women who who do that
or feel like they need to do that.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
I guess I should say.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Well, I think it's it's our job. You know, we're
in different lines of work. And you know, when I
first came out here, I wanted to be an actress
and you couldn't you if you signed up to do
reality TV? It was like a death wish for your career.
And now it has changed, Right, So we're in We're
both in entertainment. But I feel like it's our job
(14:20):
to take these platforms and spread the word on how
to go about this.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Why are the red flags?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
I agreet's not try to paint them green because we
love to do that, especially at a young age, right,
And I feel like finally getting older is like an
empowering thing. Absolutely, it's something that women are embracing. It's
like your superpower, right, Definitely. I don't feel like it
(14:48):
was always looked at that way.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
No, of course, I think it was experienced that way,
but I don't think that we had a way to
talk about it. I mean I am newly older relatively,
I mean it's also relative. Like when we started the show,
we were in our third right, which is so funny
now because like that's very young, and obviously you look
back at the show we look like little children to me, right,
But at the time, there was this whole freedom because
as an actress, once you were in your mid thirties,
(15:11):
you were kind of done.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
You were on your way out, right. So it was
such an empowering thing.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
To get these parts because first of all, you didn't
have to lie about your age anymore, because depending on
whatever audition you went to, you had to lie and
say you were that age, right, And I remember just going, oh,
thank god, I never have to lie about.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
My age again.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Yay, because you know, like.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
These strong, powerful women in our thirties and we were
supposed to be in our thirties.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
That was the point, right.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Don't you find it interesting though, because as.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I go out and about and see people in their
around my age, it's actually we're still trying to figure
it out in our thirties, I know, whereas your guys'
personal lives may have been all over the place. But
like wonderful careers were happening on the show, you know
Carrie with her column Miranda being this like incredible lawyer. Yeah,
(16:01):
I don't feel like it's as much that way anymore.
Maybe she's living in Los Angeles, But at that age,
I think you were trying to figure out what we
want to do and be and c Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
I think a lot of that is because the world
has changed too. I think COVID really like everybody right,
like there was no because when when we were all
in like college age, right, I went to college.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
I don't think Kim went to college.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I don't think Sarah went to college.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Cynthia went to college.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And I think that you were kind of told that
there was a tract that you could be on, right,
But we all wanted to be actors, so I went
to acting school.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Does acting school help you?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
No? No, not to school.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
It's true, Well I did, and I'm it helped me
develop as a human being, right experience, But it doesn't
help you in your career at all, at all.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
At all.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
I need to really reiterate that.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I think it's.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Great, like if you love theater and you love acting
and you want to enjoy yourself in college. Also, just
get a BA and make sure you get a like
a more well rounded education, right, which I didn't really
care about.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
I didn't do that. I didn't care and I'm not
saying I regret it. I'm happy with my choice.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
But I just think that you you, in some young way,
you believe that it's going to matter that you have
this degree. Nobody cares if you have a degree.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Isn't that because so many people, so many of my friends,
I always had this mindset. I remember my counselor calling
me in and being like, we need you to take
what is it an sat Yes, when are you going
to be doing that? Oh, very intense school and I'm
moving to LA and I'm going to be famous. And
they were like a very small percentage of people, right.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
But happy, Hey, yay La La.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
And I was like, well, it looks like I'll be
part of it, and like I never did that. But
all of my friends went off and did college and
most of them are in debt.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
They don't use their degree for anything.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Right, So if there is one thing I knew what
I wanted to do, and that's great.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Nothing was going to stop that.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Amazing.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Okay, let's talk about this episode, So this episode in
my mind. So my favorite season is season three, Okay,
this season that we're in. And part of the reason
I think that my favorite season is season three is
when I watch these episodes, all the storylines are just
great and they're all intertwined in ways that are interesting
and more in depth in a way than in the beginning. Like,
(18:23):
I think it took us some time to find our
legs in terms of like the writing and how to
get everything in. But also everyone's storyline is great and different, right,
and it took a lot of work on a writer's
part to get to that. And also so much happens
in such a short amount of time.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
I know, it's amazing.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
It's amazing.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Every time I watched it, I'm like, wow, Wow, we
were so good.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
I mean I thought it was good at the time.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
And I loved it, right, but like in retrospect, I'm
much more able to see the how hard the actual
mechanics were totally you know, and have full full appreciation
for it.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Yeah, I mean, the show stands the test of time,
which is I think very hard to do.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
One hundred percent because there's so many shows out there, right,
and you're basically competing with all of them over the
test of time, right, Yeah, And it's the hugest compliment
in the world that people still love it and still
come up to me and still are discovering it, which
is like, I mean, who would have ever thought, we never,
never would have dreamt any of this.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
That's got to feel really amazing. It does, it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I mean, obviously there's so much luck that plays into it,
but also there's so much hard work in terms of
getting to the point and getting the job, but then
also doing the job because it was.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Like my entire life.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yes, like, there's no like once it really succeeds, which
is third season. Third season is when we shockingly got
nominated for an Emmy for the first time and we
never thought that would happen. And then once the award
thing started, that was in our off season, right, So
we'd go to work in February and then the Golden
Globes would be in march's January. So it was just
like year round and saying like you had little breaks
(20:01):
but not really and then you were doing press to
try to you know, it was it was a lot.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
It was a lot. I feel so much fun.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
It was fun. It was work, but it was fun
for sure. But also like, there are things I think
back in terms of my personal life and I'm like,
oh my god, how did anyone put up with me?
Speaker 4 (20:18):
Like I don't think I talked about it anything else?
Really could you?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
When that's your life? Right, When that's your life, how
do you? That's what you go and do when you
meet people, you talk about what your world is like,
and when that is your every single day, and anyone
you're communicating outside of that person are also a part
of business.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
That's who you're talking to.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yeah, so the timing at that point in time was
probably just off. You weren't I don't know when you
met your person or.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
I don't know your person. But adopted, Oh you adopted
your baby? Yes, yes, yes, oh see you did it
the right way from the job. You did it the
right way from the That's so sweet. Thank you. Damn,
I'm so jealous. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
I mean, look great, it happens the way it happens, right,
it happens.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Yeah, it happens. Okay, So this the whole theme of
this episode is exactly kind of what you're talking about,
which is about following your heart. Or your mind, which
is such a huge question every day forever. I think,
(21:31):
you know what I mean, yes.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
And oh my gosh, when when Carrie ends up in
bed with Big Yeah, and you have like the perfect
guy right in front of you, but the heart just
wants what it wants, I know, and am at some
point you always give in and it's like the forbidden fruit.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
I have been in relationships where I'm like, if.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I'm so happy with this person, but if you were
to drop this specific person in front of me, I
would forget all about this, even though this is so
right for me, because my heart just knows and my
vagina knows what it wants.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I mean, it's an interesting thing, like I don't know
because I have never been married, right, I've never been
really I've been really committed to people. But if I'm
really in love, I don't you could drop anybody in
front of me. It doesn't matter, do you know what
I'm saying? And so my question when I watch this
and I again, you see it at different times and
(22:36):
think about it, you know, you think different things when
you're rewatching it. Right, Like the first time I rewatched
this episode, I thought, oh my god, she's so stupid.
Carrie's so stupid, right, But then this time I watched
it and I was like, you can tell that the
aiden relationship is not right for her.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
No, it's certainly not right for her.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
So that, to me, that's a symptom of that that
than big big is unfinished, right, Like we all know
what that's like.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Now, I'm not saying it's right.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I'm not saying it's right, and I don't think it's
right or good for her, but I understand why she
does it because it's undone. You know, it's not complete, right,
and we all we all know.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Obviously what happens.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
But at this point in time, what I am thinking
is that we can say it doesn't feel complete, and
I think there's a very small percent chance that you
end up like being with the person who's.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
So tight it No, of course right, but it's.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Like you become addicted to the super high highs.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
And then the super low.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Like, but that's horrible for you, it's so for everyone.
I like to think about it as hitting a vape.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
It is, it is. It's full addiction.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
No, you're right, you're right, You're that's a good way
to put it. That's a good way to put it.
And I think this time when I rewatched it number one,
I'm looking at Aiden and I'm like, why doesn't he
understand stand that she like this is you know, like
it's nice what he wants to do, but also he's
kind of oblivious to her, right, Like he says, I
want to redo your floors. You're not going to know
I'm here. And she's like, he's said the floor, so
(24:13):
he's got plastic up. Let me know, I work from
home exactly. So like he's somewhat not connected to her.
You know what I'm saying, he's not really getting her
in a way, right, which is I think true the
whole time that he doesn't really get her. And that's
what's interesting about him is he's different and different than
Big obviously, but also different than Carrie, right, And that's interesting.
But does that really does he? Are they super connected
(24:36):
or do they just have great chemistry? Like not that
different from Big, right, Like I look at the chemistry factor.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I think Aiden came in at the right time.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Yes, it's all timing.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I usually all am like pro chick, But how could
Aiden get to a place where he knows her when
she does have such a wall up. She's not even
acting like herself. She's a very vision of herself that
that I feel is almost like a shell of hers.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I agree, she's not giving her full self.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
She's so right.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
She's the big in the relationship, She's the withholding and like,
she doesn't even tell him about Big. She was like,
Big says, like, you know, she said he doesn't know
about you, and I don't want it to And Big says,
why that's like the I mean, sometimes Big frustrates me, obviously,
but like sometimes I'm like, yeah, why Carrie, why wouldn't
you tell this new relationship about your past relationship?
Speaker 4 (25:32):
It was pretty recent. So you're right, she's got a
wall when.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
You open up the whole can.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
And if she were to tell Aiden about Big, it
would be a venting session and her being confused and
right then.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
He would know that is not finished. Sure very much.
You're so right. Yeah, that is so right.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
And on one hand, she's smart that she feels that
and doesn't do it. But on the other hand, how
could she actually expect it to work with Aiden if
she's got the wall?
Speaker 4 (26:02):
You know, right, she seems to.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Always want to be in some sort of relationship to
distract her from big Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
And that part I do not relate to no because.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Anytime, and I haven't had a lot of moments where
I'm like, I really really like this person. I can
think of maybe two in my life, yeah, and like,
and one of them is not even the father of
my child, like at all.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Wow, But I.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Can think of two, and the moment that those don't
work out, I cannot even bring myself to go out
and meet someone else because I just want to be
by myself and I want to retreat and focus on
myself and what is good? Why am I attracting this
type of person, yes, who wants to like give you
all of this love and be present, and then all
(26:55):
of the sudden they're like gone off the face of
the earth. You better be dead in a ditch, because
that's the only way I'm going to be cool with you.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Disappearing yikes.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Disappearing is horrible.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Shame on whoever you guys are, shame on them bad. Yes,
disappearing is horrible, horrible.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Like after a few text messages, disappear, but you can't
go out with me, meet my friends, you know, be
intimate and sleep together and then everything be normal and
then literally overnight go mi.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
I a so with Carrie, though, I find that.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
She you mean, she's like that you're saying.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Fininding that when something goes south with someone, she's ready
to go out.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
She's the easiest way to get over someone is to
get under someone.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Else, feeling definitely, which we I think we actually have
a whole episode about. But also Carrie is not Carrie
is interesting in that she's got her column where she's
really thinking about, you know, relationships and people in New
York and what's going on. But she doesn't have a
lot of personal introspection right right. Her introspection is about
like relationships in general and what about this question is
(28:02):
kind of intellectual.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Rather than why am I doing this?
Speaker 1 (28:06):
You know, Like like when she's re listening to that
voicemail and Miranda's over there, that was so entertaining to me.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
Because it's like they're in high school.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
It mean a lot of licorice. By the way, I
was like, that looks like totally right.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
It's very it's a very high school moment. But I
think it's also very like we all that all relationships
I do think do that to you potentially, right, Like
you're so suddenly in grade school or whatever.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
You know what I mean, you are and you have
to have a third party come in, which is what
I love When Miranda's like, we could listen to this.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
And we will never know what it means.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
So we have all been a carry in that moment,
and we've all been the Miranda in that moment.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
It's true, but it's important to have that Miranda voice.
I have the Miranda voice in my head right who
can be like, why are you even trying to analyze this?
You will never know you'll no'll never understand this younger man.
They make no sense, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
No one makes a nice No one.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Makes any sense. No, no. But that's what I love
about Carrie is that she is trying to figure everyone
else out, but not always herself. But she also tries,
but then like her feelings I think are too strong,
which is kind of interesting because she also has, you know,
kind of the facade of like I'm cool, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
She's like, you know, but she's not.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
She's got a lot of swags she puts on, yes,
you know, I have this friend, which you should and
I'm blinking on her lite. I always say I have
this friend and then I'm like, what the hell is
their last time? They don't have to say, so it
be she thinks Carrie, I have this friend who is
obsessed with sex in the city, and she has always
(29:43):
said that, even before I watch that Carrie's a narcissist.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
A lot of people say this, and we discuss this
because Sir Jessica does not like this, and we discussed
this sometimes in life, and there was a time of
COVID where this became a big thing on Instagram and
TikTok and whatever, and there's some very funny videos about it.
I have to say, but I personally do not think
this is true. For a couple of reasons. They say
(30:06):
that she's a bad friend, and I don't find that
to be true at all.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
I don't find that to be true at all either.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
No, but I also think that the way that the
show is structured, and people don't necessarily realize this, and
why should they write they're just watching the show and
enjoying the show. But the way the show is structured,
she's our entree into the world, right, She's our leading character.
We're hearing her thoughts and her voice, her voice over.
You know, we're seeing her writing, right, so of course
(30:32):
we're hearing her thoughts. If we were in your head
hearing your thoughts, we would also think you're a narcissist
if we were in Hannah's head hearing her thoughts or
Eastern's head, Because you're in your own head, right, why
would your thoughts not be about you and the people
around you. It's it's just the basic conceit of the show, right,
that we are in Carrie's head. That's my answer to it,
(30:55):
because to me, she's a great friend. I mean, look,
she's you know what I.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
Mean, don't.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
I don't who's a perfect friend? Nobody, right, But like
she's there for these friends.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
I don't think I could categorize any of you as
bad friends.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
That's the beauty of the show, is a group of.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Women navigating their lives and always coming back to get
the other. Yes, and maybe I need to watch it again,
but I do not think that Carrie is a narcissist.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
No, me neither.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
And I've dealt with a many of those.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
I mean mostly mostly I've dealt with male narcissists, right,
which looks different? Do you know what I'm saying, than
female narcissists. But also I have known female narcissists, and
they Carrie is not one at all, at all, at all.
I mean, I think like there's a time early on
I can't remember. I think it's first season where she
(31:50):
stands Miranda up for Big.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
That's not good obviously.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
But Miranda gets really mad and they like have a fight.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (31:58):
I don't think Miranda would have ben is mad if
Big wasn't a piece of shit. Well, of course, of
course why she was mad? No, of course we are
sitting somewhere, yes.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
You know, if you're s and this is before everyone
had the cell phones, like Carrie's still running to the
phone booth, right right, so you're sitting somewhere by yourself,
of course, and Miranda's mad.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
I totally get it, and BIG's a jerk. I totally
get both.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Sides, right, But who hasn't fucked up everybody exactly, you
know what I mean? And also, I mean, you know
they're I was going to say they're kind of young
the time, but whatever, you know, like when you watch
the beginning of the show, we do seem really young.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
But I also think some of that is the world.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Like, you know, we didn't have dating apps, we didn't
have you know, cell phones and texting everybody all the time.
You know what I'm saying. It was like a different world.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Right in a different game, saying I'm going with Big
to get his big, right, you know, and she's least.
I know. I can call another friend exactly, or I
can go home. I'm here by myself and exactly find me.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
A cute big.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
You guys, this is so much fun that we're going
to have to have a part two, so join us
later in the week on are You a Charlotte The
Pass
Hi, I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know, are
you a Charlotte. Tell me what you were telling me
before about how you have watched the show or which parts.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
So I used to watch like random episodes with my
best friend in the seventh grade.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
I don't know if we had any.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Business watching Sex in the City in the seventh grade,
but we would do it. We would steal her mom's car,
go to this place called Cafe Training, get takeout Chinese
food in Utah, in Utah, Oh my gosh, wow, come
back to her house and just like whatever was playing,
I guess it.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Well, you know when they would.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Do I don't know what this is, probably when it
was on e right like like it did it have
the bad words and stuff taken out?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
No? Oh, okay o, we will in it. Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So recently, I want to say, maybe like five six
months ago, I was like, you know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna start Sex in the City from start to finish.
I am obsessed. When I was asked this podcast, I
was so intimidated.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Oh no, I was like taking notes on the episode.
That's endorable. I can't wait to hear your thoughts.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
So when you so so so.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
Have you seen the whole thing yet?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I have seen so how many seasons were this there's
six seasons, yes, season one through six. I watched all
of that, okay, and then I had seen the movies.
So now what I've been told because I was posting
throughout as I was watching got it being like I
just started this show is amazing. Everyone's like, this is
crazy that you, of all people have never seen it.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
It is a little crazy, right right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I'm all about sex and I'm all about it being
in the city, and so now I'm going to go
back and watch the movies even though I've seen that.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Right, and We'll start and just like post exactly post school.
I love it. I love it. I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
So what I mean, I wish I had been following
along as you were posting, but I have you in person,
so I should just hear in person. So obviously everyone
tells me, and I'm rewatching it now for the first time, right, Like,
I saw each episode as we were going, and sometimes
it would be rough, it wouldn't be finished, like there
would be music missing, or there would be a visual
effects missing or things like that, Right, but we were
(02:10):
always really anxious to see you know, we would at
least I remember us being in Sir Jusca said she
didn't watch.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
All of it, but I feel like she did.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I feel like we talked about it, but that was
obviously a very long time ago. But we would run home,
we would get VHS from HBO and before it aired, yeah,
and go run home and watch it because we were
you know, we were so in in it, in it
and of it, like everything was exciting, you know, of course.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
And then I didn't ever like to rewatch it when
it was on E or on the different you know,
versions of what it was on, because it seemed like
I would get stuck in the past, like I didn't
want to just sit and think about it. And I
would just walk by and be like, oh, look at
where still we look.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
So young, you know, and just keep going. You know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Do you feel like you were critical?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Well?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I definitely am critical, but probably more critical when I
would first watch it, Okay, and that has gotten better
with time, right, because now it is thirty almost thirty
years later.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Wow, this is insane.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
There's nothing I can do now about my performance, right, nope,
it's off my shoulders. Like, for instance, there is a
scene in this episode. I have rewatched this episode twice now, Oh,
I should tell everybody we are rewatching Easy Come, Easy Go,
which I have to say is one of the best.
It's good episodes. Oh my gosh, so much happens. It's
(03:28):
season three and it's when I get engaged. So when
Kyle Kyle recently came on and we discussed, so I
had watched all kind of the highlights of the Tray relationship,
but then I rewatched it this morning before I was
going to see you, because it's just such a great
episode and.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
So much happens. Yeah, so much happens.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
But there is a scene in this episode, and I
remember at the time also feeling like I didn't do
it well.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
And then when I.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Watched it for Kyle, I also thought I didn't do
it well.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
And then this third time watching I was like, no.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
It's fine, like I actually crushed it. I don't know
if I crushed it.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
I never think that way, right, But the scene when
I go to.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Tell Carry about the engagement, yeah, I don't love my
performance then, And I have a very very visceral memory
of what it was like on the set that day
because everyone had When I say everyone, I mean behind
the camera, right. Like it was directed by Charles McDougal,
so one of my favorite directors, and Charles is a
great director because he doesn't really micromanage. But the way
(04:24):
that our show was, our writers were very, very involved
and they were always there. So Michael Patrick King wrote
our episode. He's one of our executive producers. We love
him very much. But also we had a bunch of
women writers and they would all be there, like if
it was a big scene, everybody would be there and
everyone would basically tell you what they wanted you to do,
especially back then, like now I would be like, okay, guys,
that's enough, Like let me.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Just do it right exactly.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
But back then, this.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Was really Charlotte's first big storyline, you know, and like
with a lot going on over many episodes, and in
this beginning with Trey, we were really laying the groundwork
of what was going to happened between me and him. Right,
So the whole idea that she's been wanting this proposal,
wanting this proposal. One in this proposal and then she
kind of blows it by basically proposing to herself. They
(05:10):
wanted me to just be like I don't think they
wanted me to be tearful, but they just wanted me
to be in shock. So I'm trying to play shock
through an entire scene, which is very hard, like possibly impossible,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
It's really interesting to hear your perspective on that, because
that's actually one of my favorite parts, where you're at
the door and you walk in and it's you're just
like in a fog and you can tell that. Here's
what I love about the entire show is, as I've
gotten older, I see myself at the age of thirty
(05:44):
five in each of you. There was for such a
long time it was like which one are you? Yes,
the wind blew the wrong way for Charlotte and she
doesn't do well with that. No, she has she how
she wants something to go yes, and that's very much me.
So when she wanted it so badly at that dinner
(06:07):
and then you're just at Carrie's door.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I loved it, you did.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
I loved it so good because I felt like there
was so much going on in your head that you're
still trying to process, Like I was upset.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Oh my god, that.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Makes me so because really, you can never be objective
about yourself. Really, I'm saying, you just know what you
were trying to do, and you know what everyone's telling
you to do, and you see the work like I
can see myself like trying to do what they were
telling me to do, rather than just kind of breathing
and living. But she is just kind of processing, You're right,
which is which is stuck In a way. I felt
(06:43):
like what their direction was at the time was a
little bit stuck. Like they can get an idea, writers
especially can get an idea, but it's.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Hard to act an idea.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
You have to really go with what's happening.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
You know what I mean, of course.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
But Charlotte is very in her head, you know, like
in general right as like you said, the kind of
vision of what she wants, right or what she's expecting,
and then life doesn't live up to it, which of
course it wouldn't. How could it possibly, you know what
I mean? No one can read your mind, right, No,
she's like a big thing, a big thing with Charlotte
(07:16):
for forever, really, you know, you know, yes, her vision
versus reality.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Versus reality and that's what I loved about it. And
I loved when you were at lunch meeting Trey's mom
for the first time and you were clocking little things like.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
How I like that.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I like that?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
I just find Charlotte to be so sweet and interesting,
and I relate to that. As I get older and
have more experiences with different types.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Of men, Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Who did you used to relate to?
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I used to feel like I was just a Samantha,
like very much.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
So really yes, even your young self my young yet wow,
love that.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I I mean obviously, when I first started watching fourteen,
I didn't relate.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
To any of you. I just didn't believe I was
seeing boobs on.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Hold totally crazy words totally. And you're in Utah too,
so it's even more like you're in a very kind
of more conservative environment.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Yeah. I was like, this is awesome.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Made you want to get out, I'm sure right the moment.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
That I became sexually active, I was like, oh I
am samanthized it gets fantastic.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
That's great about it, that's so great.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
And then as you you get older, I developed an
appreciation for Miranda, where like I have to say.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
By the by the time.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
It was over, I was like, at this stage of
my life, even though I can say, like, I think
most women have a.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Piece of each of you. Yeah, as a whole, I
think I'm mostly Miranda. I love that.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
That's super interesting.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah, wow wow.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Well, let me say I've never seen vander Pump Rules,
so I don't know. I don't have a lot of
preconceived notions about you.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Right, that's great.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Yes, it's really nice though I have enough knowledge from
your podcast. Untraditionally, la Lah, because you are creating your
own life in the way that you want it, and
I am of the same thinking. I came from South Carolina,
which was very traditional, though my parents weren't really like
super preppy or anything like that. But I was surrounded
by you know, everyone talked about wanting to get married
(09:29):
and wanting to get engaged and blah blah blah, everybody blonde.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
You know what I'm saying, the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
And I was an actress from a young age, so
I wanted to get out as soon as I could.
I just wanted to go to New York, which I
eventually did. It took a while, but I wanted to,
you know, have a different life, a more adventurous life,
a different life.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
And I have absolutely had that. Yes, it's been fun.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
You've had a very fun life.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I have.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
I have had a very fun and adventurous life.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
How old were you when you left? I went to college.
My dad was a college professor. So I wanted to
move directly to New York at eighteen, and he said no.
And he was right because I was not yet sober.
And had I moved directly to New York in the
eighties not sober, it would have gone really badly. So
I'm so lucky that he said, no, you cannot do that,
(10:14):
young lady.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
What on earth?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
You know?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
He was like, you must go to college.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
So I went to Rutgers because they had a BFA
acting program. Amazing, Yeah, and I could be close to
the city and go into sea plays, and you know,
I just wanted to be as close as I could
to the Broadway of it, all right, you know, And
I was, which was great, Which was great, It was
perfect because I did need that time to During that
time is when I realized that I needed to get
a hold of my my my abuse of alcohol, predominantly alcohol,
(10:40):
I mean other things about you. Yeah, I've been sober
so long that I don't talk about it all the time.
But yeah, thank god, thank God for you.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I mean in common, Yeah, I know, I love that,
And I don't know how I would have navigated. First
of all, New York in the late eighties was just insanity.
I mean, I remember I was kind of alone and
being sober. I wasn't really in a program at that time,
and I didn't know anyone who was sober except I
had a boyfriend who was sober. Oh great, yeah, so
we could be together in it. But I remember just
(11:08):
walking I had to walk. I had a waitressing job,
and I would walk home and I would walk by
the limelight like all the crazy clubs and just be like, oh,
thank god, I'm not in there.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
I don't know what would happen to me.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So you never felt triggered once you moved out. You
felt like you were strong in your sobriety when you
when you moved and were in that environment.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
You know, I did feel triggered for sure, but I
didn't ever fall, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I
think largely because of John, my boyfriend, who was super sweet.
He was in some ways like the police. You know,
he'd been sober for a while, and he was very protective,
and I think he knew the dangers more than I
(11:46):
did in a way, you know, of like he'd been out.
He was three or four years older than me at
the time. He'd already been out and you know, lived
life in the city and knew how crazy it could be.
So he was very protective. And that helped me get
over the initial hump of like being out in the
crazy world and trying to be sober. But it was
lonely in the way of like my roommate was wild,
(12:09):
you know what I'm saying, Like there were all these
wild people.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Around me, and I would just be like, no, I'm
just going.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
To stay home, right, keep your blinders on, you know,
where you have business being and where you do not.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
And then I moved here in the nineties. Also insane.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Oh cocaine. Oh, I can't even imagine.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah, everywhere, cocaine everywhere, everywhere, Oh and everywhere.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Part of my language I don't with that, right, No, No,
it's serious, it is serious.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
It's really not good.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
So I remember being at parties and seeing like dinner
plates with a Mountain.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I would just be like, lovely, lovely.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I know, the nineties here was woooo, there's a lot.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
It was a lot.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
And I do remember there were people in my life
who not not my Like I have a publicist I've
had for over thirty years, of a manager I've had
for thirty years. I mean, I've had like a really
great team. But there were other people that I meet
along the way and they'd be like, you've.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Got to go out to parties.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I was like, whoever got a job from going to parties?
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
No one gets a job. And when you're sober, you
realize you're all in one big room talking about bullshit.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Totally.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
It's actually quite insane, exactly.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Like, there have been moments in my seven years and
some change where I've gone out to nightclubs and I'm
watching people and I'm like, do we all realize that
we're in like a concrete room just with music that's
way too loud?
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Horrible?
Speaker 4 (13:36):
I know, horrible.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
No one realizes now, I know, well, because I think
you're really you just think that you have to do it,
or you think you're supposed to do it, or you
think that that's how something meaningful is going to happen
in your life.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
I don't know why nothing ever, good guy.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I agree you No, I agree, I agree totally.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I worry for the young women who who do that
or feel like they need to do that.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
I guess I should say.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Well, I think it's it's our job. You know, we're
in different lines of work. And you know, when I
first came out here, I wanted to be an actress
and you couldn't you if you signed up to do
reality TV? It was like a death wish for your career.
And now it has changed, Right, So we're in We're
both in entertainment. But I feel like it's our job
(14:20):
to take these platforms and spread the word on how
to go about this.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Why are the red flags?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
I agreet's not try to paint them green because we
love to do that, especially at a young age, right,
And I feel like finally getting older is like an
empowering thing. Absolutely, it's something that women are embracing. It's
like your superpower, right, Definitely. I don't feel like it
(14:48):
was always looked at that way.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
No, of course, I think it was experienced that way,
but I don't think that we had a way to
talk about it. I mean I am newly older relatively,
I mean it's also relative. Like when we started the show,
we were in our third right, which is so funny
now because like that's very young, and obviously you look
back at the show we look like little children to me, right,
But at the time, there was this whole freedom because
as an actress, once you were in your mid thirties,
(15:11):
you were kind of done.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
You were on your way out, right. So it was
such an empowering thing.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
To get these parts because first of all, you didn't
have to lie about your age anymore, because depending on
whatever audition you went to, you had to lie and
say you were that age, right, And I remember just going, oh,
thank god, I never have to lie about.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
My age again.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Yay, because you know, like.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
These strong, powerful women in our thirties and we were
supposed to be in our thirties.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
That was the point, right.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Don't you find it interesting though, because as.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I go out and about and see people in their
around my age, it's actually we're still trying to figure
it out in our thirties, I know, whereas your guys'
personal lives may have been all over the place. But
like wonderful careers were happening on the show, you know
Carrie with her column Miranda being this like incredible lawyer. Yeah,
(16:01):
I don't feel like it's as much that way anymore.
Maybe she's living in Los Angeles, But at that age,
I think you were trying to figure out what we
want to do and be and c Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
I think a lot of that is because the world
has changed too. I think COVID really like everybody right,
like there was no because when when we were all
in like college age, right, I went to college.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
I don't think Kim went to college.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I don't think Sarah went to college.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Cynthia went to college.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And I think that you were kind of told that
there was a tract that you could be on, right,
But we all wanted to be actors, so I went
to acting school.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Does acting school help you?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
No? No, not to school.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
It's true, Well I did, and I'm it helped me
develop as a human being, right experience, But it doesn't
help you in your career at all, at all.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
At all.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
I need to really reiterate that.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I think it's.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Great, like if you love theater and you love acting
and you want to enjoy yourself in college. Also, just
get a BA and make sure you get a like
a more well rounded education, right, which I didn't really
care about.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
I didn't do that. I didn't care and I'm not
saying I regret it. I'm happy with my choice.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
But I just think that you you, in some young way,
you believe that it's going to matter that you have
this degree. Nobody cares if you have a degree.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Isn't that because so many people, so many of my friends,
I always had this mindset. I remember my counselor calling
me in and being like, we need you to take
what is it an sat Yes, when are you going
to be doing that? Oh, very intense school and I'm
moving to LA and I'm going to be famous. And
they were like a very small percentage of people, right.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
But happy, Hey, yay La La.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
And I was like, well, it looks like I'll be
part of it, and like I never did that. But
all of my friends went off and did college and
most of them are in debt.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
They don't use their degree for anything.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Right, So if there is one thing I knew what
I wanted to do, and that's great.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Nothing was going to stop that.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Amazing.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Okay, let's talk about this episode, So this episode in
my mind. So my favorite season is season three, Okay,
this season that we're in. And part of the reason
I think that my favorite season is season three is
when I watch these episodes, all the storylines are just
great and they're all intertwined in ways that are interesting
and more in depth in a way than in the beginning. Like,
(18:23):
I think it took us some time to find our
legs in terms of like the writing and how to
get everything in. But also everyone's storyline is great and different, right,
and it took a lot of work on a writer's
part to get to that. And also so much happens
in such a short amount of time.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
I know, it's amazing.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
It's amazing.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Every time I watched it, I'm like, wow, Wow, we
were so good.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
I mean I thought it was good at the time.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
And I loved it, right, but like in retrospect, I'm
much more able to see the how hard the actual
mechanics were totally you know, and have full full appreciation
for it.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Yeah, I mean, the show stands the test of time,
which is I think very hard to do.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
One hundred percent because there's so many shows out there, right,
and you're basically competing with all of them over the
test of time, right, Yeah, And it's the hugest compliment
in the world that people still love it and still
come up to me and still are discovering it, which
is like, I mean, who would have ever thought, we never,
never would have dreamt any of this.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
That's got to feel really amazing. It does, it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I mean, obviously there's so much luck that plays into it,
but also there's so much hard work in terms of
getting to the point and getting the job, but then
also doing the job because it was.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Like my entire life.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yes, like, there's no like once it really succeeds, which
is third season. Third season is when we shockingly got
nominated for an Emmy for the first time and we
never thought that would happen. And then once the award
thing started, that was in our off season, right, So
we'd go to work in February and then the Golden
Globes would be in march's January. So it was just
like year round and saying like you had little breaks
(20:01):
but not really and then you were doing press to
try to you know, it was it was a lot.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
It was a lot. I feel so much fun.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
It was fun. It was work, but it was fun
for sure. But also like, there are things I think
back in terms of my personal life and I'm like,
oh my god, how did anyone put up with me?
Speaker 4 (20:18):
Like I don't think I talked about it anything else?
Really could you?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
When that's your life? Right, When that's your life, how
do you? That's what you go and do when you
meet people, you talk about what your world is like,
and when that is your every single day, and anyone
you're communicating outside of that person are also a part
of business.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
That's who you're talking to.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yeah, so the timing at that point in time was
probably just off. You weren't I don't know when you
met your person or.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
I don't know your person. But adopted, Oh you adopted
your baby? Yes, yes, yes, oh see you did it
the right way from the job. You did it the
right way from the That's so sweet. Thank you. Damn,
I'm so jealous. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
I mean, look great, it happens the way it happens, right,
it happens.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Yeah, it happens. Okay, So this the whole theme of
this episode is exactly kind of what you're talking about,
which is about following your heart. Or your mind, which
is such a huge question every day forever. I think,
(21:31):
you know what I mean, yes.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
And oh my gosh, when when Carrie ends up in
bed with Big Yeah, and you have like the perfect
guy right in front of you, but the heart just
wants what it wants, I know, and am at some
point you always give in and it's like the forbidden fruit.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
I have been in relationships where I'm like, if.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I'm so happy with this person, but if you were
to drop this specific person in front of me, I
would forget all about this, even though this is so
right for me, because my heart just knows and my
vagina knows what it wants.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I mean, it's an interesting thing, like I don't know
because I have never been married, right, I've never been
really I've been really committed to people. But if I'm
really in love, I don't you could drop anybody in
front of me. It doesn't matter, do you know what
I'm saying? And so my question when I watch this
and I again, you see it at different times and
(22:36):
think about it, you know, you think different things when
you're rewatching it. Right, Like the first time I rewatched
this episode, I thought, oh my god, she's so stupid.
Carrie's so stupid, right, But then this time I watched
it and I was like, you can tell that the
aiden relationship is not right for her.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
No, it's certainly not right for her.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
So that, to me, that's a symptom of that that
than big big is unfinished, right, Like we all know
what that's like.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Now, I'm not saying it's right.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I'm not saying it's right, and I don't think it's
right or good for her, but I understand why she
does it because it's undone. You know, it's not complete, right,
and we all we all know.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Obviously what happens.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
But at this point in time, what I am thinking
is that we can say it doesn't feel complete, and
I think there's a very small percent chance that you
end up like being with the person who's.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
So tight it No, of course right, but it's.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Like you become addicted to the super high highs.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
And then the super low.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Like, but that's horrible for you, it's so for everyone.
I like to think about it as hitting a vape.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
It is, it is. It's full addiction.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
No, you're right, you're right, You're that's a good way
to put it. That's a good way to put it.
And I think this time when I rewatched it number one,
I'm looking at Aiden and I'm like, why doesn't he
understand stand that she like this is you know, like
it's nice what he wants to do, but also he's
kind of oblivious to her, right, Like he says, I
want to redo your floors. You're not going to know
I'm here. And she's like, he's said the floor, so
(24:13):
he's got plastic up. Let me know, I work from
home exactly. So like he's somewhat not connected to her.
You know what I'm saying, he's not really getting her
in a way, right, which is I think true the
whole time that he doesn't really get her. And that's
what's interesting about him is he's different and different than
Big obviously, but also different than Carrie, right, And that's interesting.
But does that really does he? Are they super connected
(24:36):
or do they just have great chemistry? Like not that
different from Big, right, Like I look at the chemistry factor.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I think Aiden came in at the right time.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Yes, it's all timing.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I usually all am like pro chick, But how could
Aiden get to a place where he knows her when
she does have such a wall up. She's not even
acting like herself. She's a very vision of herself that
that I feel is almost like a shell of hers.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I agree, she's not giving her full self.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
She's so right.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
She's the big in the relationship, She's the withholding and like,
she doesn't even tell him about Big. She was like,
Big says, like, you know, she said he doesn't know
about you, and I don't want it to And Big says,
why that's like the I mean, sometimes Big frustrates me, obviously,
but like sometimes I'm like, yeah, why Carrie, why wouldn't
you tell this new relationship about your past relationship?
Speaker 4 (25:32):
It was pretty recent. So you're right, she's got a
wall when.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
You open up the whole can.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
And if she were to tell Aiden about Big, it
would be a venting session and her being confused and
right then.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
He would know that is not finished. Sure very much.
You're so right. Yeah, that is so right.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
And on one hand, she's smart that she feels that
and doesn't do it. But on the other hand, how
could she actually expect it to work with Aiden if
she's got the wall?
Speaker 4 (26:02):
You know, right, she seems to.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Always want to be in some sort of relationship to
distract her from big Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
And that part I do not relate to no because.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Anytime, and I haven't had a lot of moments where
I'm like, I really really like this person. I can
think of maybe two in my life, yeah, and like,
and one of them is not even the father of
my child, like at all.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Wow, But I.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Can think of two, and the moment that those don't
work out, I cannot even bring myself to go out
and meet someone else because I just want to be
by myself and I want to retreat and focus on
myself and what is good? Why am I attracting this
type of person, yes, who wants to like give you
all of this love and be present, and then all
(26:55):
of the sudden they're like gone off the face of
the earth. You better be dead in a ditch, because
that's the only way I'm going to be cool with you.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Disappearing yikes.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Disappearing is horrible.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Shame on whoever you guys are, shame on them bad. Yes,
disappearing is horrible, horrible.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Like after a few text messages, disappear, but you can't
go out with me, meet my friends, you know, be
intimate and sleep together and then everything be normal and
then literally overnight go mi.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
I a so with Carrie, though, I find that.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
She you mean, she's like that you're saying.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Fininding that when something goes south with someone, she's ready
to go out.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
She's the easiest way to get over someone is to
get under someone.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Else, feeling definitely, which we I think we actually have
a whole episode about. But also Carrie is not Carrie
is interesting in that she's got her column where she's
really thinking about, you know, relationships and people in New
York and what's going on. But she doesn't have a
lot of personal introspection right right. Her introspection is about
like relationships in general and what about this question is
(28:02):
kind of intellectual.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Rather than why am I doing this?
Speaker 1 (28:06):
You know, Like like when she's re listening to that
voicemail and Miranda's over there, that was so entertaining to me.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
Because it's like they're in high school.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
It mean a lot of licorice. By the way, I
was like, that looks like totally right.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
It's very it's a very high school moment. But I
think it's also very like we all that all relationships
I do think do that to you potentially, right, Like
you're so suddenly in grade school or whatever.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
You know what I mean, you are and you have
to have a third party come in, which is what
I love When Miranda's like, we could listen to this.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
And we will never know what it means.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
So we have all been a carry in that moment,
and we've all been the Miranda in that moment.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
It's true, but it's important to have that Miranda voice.
I have the Miranda voice in my head right who
can be like, why are you even trying to analyze this?
You will never know you'll no'll never understand this younger man.
They make no sense, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
No one makes a nice No one.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Makes any sense. No, no. But that's what I love
about Carrie is that she is trying to figure everyone
else out, but not always herself. But she also tries,
but then like her feelings I think are too strong,
which is kind of interesting because she also has, you know,
kind of the facade of like I'm cool, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
She's like, you know, but she's not.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
She's got a lot of swags she puts on, yes,
you know, I have this friend, which you should and
I'm blinking on her lite. I always say I have
this friend and then I'm like, what the hell is
their last time? They don't have to say, so it
be she thinks Carrie, I have this friend who is
obsessed with sex in the city, and she has always
(29:43):
said that, even before I watch that Carrie's a narcissist.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
A lot of people say this, and we discuss this
because Sir Jessica does not like this, and we discussed
this sometimes in life, and there was a time of
COVID where this became a big thing on Instagram and
TikTok and whatever, and there's some very funny videos about it.
I have to say, but I personally do not think
this is true. For a couple of reasons. They say
(30:06):
that she's a bad friend, and I don't find that
to be true at all.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
I don't find that to be true at all either.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
No, but I also think that the way that the
show is structured, and people don't necessarily realize this, and
why should they write they're just watching the show and
enjoying the show. But the way the show is structured,
she's our entree into the world, right, She's our leading character.
We're hearing her thoughts and her voice, her voice over.
You know, we're seeing her writing, right, so of course
(30:32):
we're hearing her thoughts. If we were in your head
hearing your thoughts, we would also think you're a narcissist
if we were in Hannah's head hearing her thoughts or
Eastern's head, Because you're in your own head, right, why
would your thoughts not be about you and the people
around you. It's it's just the basic conceit of the show, right,
that we are in Carrie's head. That's my answer to it,
(30:55):
because to me, she's a great friend. I mean, look,
she's you know what I.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
Mean, don't.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
I don't who's a perfect friend? Nobody, right, But like
she's there for these friends.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
I don't think I could categorize any of you as
bad friends.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
That's the beauty of the show, is a group of.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Women navigating their lives and always coming back to get
the other. Yes, and maybe I need to watch it again,
but I do not think that Carrie is a narcissist.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
No, me neither.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
And I've dealt with a many of those.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
I mean mostly mostly I've dealt with male narcissists, right,
which looks different? Do you know what I'm saying, than
female narcissists. But also I have known female narcissists, and
they Carrie is not one at all, at all, at all.
I mean, I think like there's a time early on
I can't remember. I think it's first season where she
(31:50):
stands Miranda up for Big.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
That's not good obviously.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
But Miranda gets really mad and they like have a fight.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (31:58):
I don't think Miranda would have ben is mad if
Big wasn't a piece of shit. Well, of course, of
course why she was mad? No, of course we are
sitting somewhere, yes.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
You know, if you're s and this is before everyone
had the cell phones, like Carrie's still running to the
phone booth, right right, so you're sitting somewhere by yourself,
of course, and Miranda's mad.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
I totally get it, and BIG's a jerk. I totally
get both.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Sides, right, But who hasn't fucked up everybody exactly, you
know what I mean? And also, I mean, you know
they're I was going to say they're kind of young
the time, but whatever, you know, like when you watch
the beginning of the show, we do seem really young.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
But I also think some of that is the world.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Like, you know, we didn't have dating apps, we didn't
have you know, cell phones and texting everybody all the time.
You know what I'm saying. It was like a different world.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Right in a different game, saying I'm going with Big
to get his big, right, you know, and she's least.
I know. I can call another friend exactly, or I
can go home. I'm here by myself and exactly find me.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
A cute big.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
You guys, this is so much fun that we're going
to have to have a part two, so join us
later in the week on are You a Charlotte The
Pass
Host
Kristin Davis
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