Jeremy Sutton: Bastion Chambers lawyer on the uptick in older couples divorcing

New data has revealed a number of Kiwi couples are ending their marriages later in life.

Stats NZ shows the amount of divorces that involved people aged 50+ last year was 39.9 percent - up 7.1 percent in 10 years.

Bastion Chambers lawyer Jeremy Sutton says children growing up and leaving home can put stressors on a marriage.

"Once the last child has left home, that's often the catalyst to see if they've got the same interests or not. One party is often wanting to continue working in some way, while the other party is happy to do other things - maybe travel, maybe spend time with family."

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Now an increasing number of couples are ending their marriages
later in life. So it turns out, according to stats
New Zealand data, almost forty percent of divorces are involving
people who are fifty years plus. Divorce lawyer at Shortland Chambers,
Jeremy Sutton is with us now, Jeremy, how are you doing?

Speaker 2 (00:18):
I may share best in chambers?

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Sorry, which which chambers? Our best in chambers? It's in
the same boarding.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
We'll say it as many times as we can, Jeremy,
to undo the damage we've just done. So Bastian Chambers,
thank you for that listening. You're seeing this as well
as you seeing older people getting divorces.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, yeah, we are, because once the last child is
left home, that's often a catalyst either to see if
I've got the same interest or not, and one party
is often wanting to continue working in some way so
as a consultant, while the other party is keeping your

(01:00):
do other things, maybe travel, will maybe spend time with family.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Yeah. Is it also sometimes that the last kid leaves
and then you're stuck looking at that person. You're like, oh,
I stopped liking you ages ago.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Well, it certainly means you've got to spend more time together,
you know. It just it's tough, but it's a reality.
I mean for a lot of people, perhaps they saying, well,
the house is too big now, Heather, you know, we've
we've got to downside to an apartment. And often with
house prices over the years being good and kV saves

(01:34):
as well, people have often got enough money to have
one house each so they can go to line, they
can be independent. And and the other thing is technology
makes it easy for people, doesn't It makes it easy
to book travel, makes it easier to meet someone else.
So that's a factor as well. I think it's just
more life is more flexible, but probably more difficult.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Jeremy, I saw somebody so today that women are often
the initiators of this divorce when you're in the fifty
plus category, are you seeing.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
That, Well, they probably are, but it's not necessarily because
of an affair. It's often that they just you know,
they've got the confidence to be able to do something
you know now and perhaps go overseas that they couldn't

(02:28):
do before.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
I don't want to be too unkind to men, but
how much of it is also because women carry the
mental load and the emotional load in a relationship and
they just get a little bit naffed off. And by
the time you're in your fifties, you're like, you actually
have had the chance to grow up and you know,
clean the bathroom after yourself. You just get tired of it.
Is that possibly that.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
There could be an aspect of that perhaps have had
the traditional roles in their relationship. Yeah, and you've thought
that people might change and they haven't changed and just
want to, you know, do something different, which, well, women
now really are more able to, aren't they. They've got that,
you know, they've got that. They've got that ability perhaps

(03:13):
to you know, work, work part time, to travel, to
see other family members, to see children. Yeah, and perhaps
some of them have just had enough of what's happened
during all those times. I mean the average marriage is
about fifteen years, all the late about fifteen years, so
you know that means that people were in their sort

(03:33):
of mid to late forties onwards. We see a lot
of people who are in their fifties and sixties. Yeah,
and they you know, they have just on different paths.
I mean, for example, you can go on your Airbnb now,
can't you are heady? You know, you can go to
New York for a month now on an Airbnb. You

(03:56):
couldn't do that before. So there are just these tools
that you have to enable you to travel. And we
live longer than we lived before. I mean people are
living much much longer, so they've just got those tools
to be able to do that.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yeah, interesting stuff, Jeremy, thank you very much for lucrative
business for you. I'd imagine Jeremy Sutton of Bastian Chambers.
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