Anna Musson: etiquette expert on the study revealing how many people text during face-to-face conversations

New research has been conducted into our texting habits - and it's raised a few eyebrows.

A survey by BNZ indicates New Zealanders were responding to notifications in a variety of awkward locations, with one third of respondents replying in the bathroom, 41 percent in the middle of face-to-face conversations and 28 percent while in meetings. 

Etiquette expert Anna Musson says many of us are terrible at multitasking, and picking up a phone during a face-to-face exchange has unfortunate implications.

"If you're in the company of another person, it is criminal to pick up your phone and suggest that the other person is less interesting or less important, even if it's true."

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Now. A new survey by BNZ has found that our
addiction to our smartphones is so bad that thirty five
percent of us respond to texts and emails on the loop.
Twenty eight percent of us respond while we're in meetings.
And this is the thing that gets my goat. Forty
one percent of us respond while we're face to face
with someone in the flesh and a muscin is an

(00:20):
etiquette expert in with us. Now, Hello Anna, Hello, Heather.
Forty one percent is a lie because it's one hundred
percent of us, isn't it? It is well, not your
may of course I did do it today, and I
knew I was doing it, but I had I had
so many people around me I could not go. But
we do it, don't we. We all at some point
we're talking to someone, pack up the phone and do

(00:40):
something before we can help ourselves all.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Look, the rule of some with this, Heather, is the
rule wa Actually, the rule with all good manners is
putting another person before yourself. Yes. So if this is
something that you can do without offending the other person,
absolutely fine. So if I was speaking to you right
now and you didn't know I was also buying something
on you, no harm, no foul. The reality is most

(01:04):
of us are rubbish at multitasking, absolute rubbish. But if
you're not going to offend the other person, knock yourself out. However,
if you are in the company of another person, it
is criminal to pick up your phone and suggest that
the other person is less interesting or less important. Even
if it's true, then they really are. It's very poor man.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
And can I just because I feel so bad about it,
can I just clarify I didn't. I was actually on
my phone when somebody started talking to me, and because
I was halfway through something, I finished it before I
actually engaged with them. So I've got a bit of
lattitude there, haven't I.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
That's on them for approaching you while you weren't available.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
You are excused, Okay, thank you. I feel much better
about it. Can I talk to you about this though?
Because I have been railing at the boomers? Right, Boomers
are primary offenders, but I realize not the only offenders.
But what is up anna with a boomer when they
take a phone call and I'm talking about my mum
right now, she's in my company, and then she goes
speak a phone and just and holds it up to
her face and speak of phones, so that everybody has

(02:02):
to listen to what's going on.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Well, look, I think a lot of the boomers think
that they can do as they please, now, don't they
because they're boomers, and they'll tell you exactly what they
think about you, what's your hair, what you've done wrong,
and how you can improve yourself generally because they're older.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
Okay, so it's a generational problem.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
I think it is. I'm sorry, boomers, but I'm going
to call you out on that way.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Okay. And then what about my friend? You know who
you are not naming names, but my friend went to
a concert with me recently and she had one or
two seven year bloc and all her manners went out
and she spent the entire concert and dinner on her phone.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Well, that's just disgraceful. And listen, no matter how much
booze or whatever you have, we all know that's bad form.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Okay. So the rule is we just do should the
rule not be prioritize people over phones?

Speaker 2 (02:53):
And the rule is be present, be in the moment,
and prioritize who is with you, over being on your phone,
and over what's to come, and over if it's not
on Instagram. It didn't happen. It's us a nonsense and
we need to value the company that's with us, or
we'll end up having no friends at all.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
Actually, you and I could be friends the way we're going.
Thank you for that, and I think I would enjoy
the experience a lot. Thank you, Anna. Anna mustn't get expert.
Guess what you know? Who you are? Yeah, because I
was gonna say, wait for it, wait for it? No,
not even she was all you on your phone, won't
you you know who? Show nabe you? No, I probably won't.
I don't want to ruin your reputation. You've got, you've

(03:34):
got a big person's job. She's already sent me a
text with a crying laugh face because she knows it
was her, and she's she was probably on her phone
right then when I said it, and she was like, oh,
just quickly stop that, and she was probably having multiple
conversations and then text me the crying laugh face as well,
so she knows what she's up to. Anyway, we'll work
on it. We'll see if we can improve her.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
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