Perspective with Ryan Bridge: The moa was a bird ahead of its time

The moa was a visionary bird well ahead of its time.

Bringing them back from extinction makes perfect sense - we'll be setting them free.

They can finally live their best life. Spread their wings - metaphorically, of course, cause they don't actually have wings. But they'll be free in this brave, new modern world.

Firstly, they're vegan. So hip and trendy box number one - big tick.

Wait till somebody introduces them to the incredible burger, or eggplant sandwiches with vegan slaw. They'll love that.

But wait, it gets woker.

The women are dominant - one and half times bigger than the men and two and half times the weight.

Trendy, progressive box number two - tick.

Number 3 - turns out they were quite oppressed back in the day. Victims, you could call them. Also very trendy today.

Hunted to extinction by men with spears, slaughtered and eaten. You know what that means in 2025 - lived experience. Wait for the wellness podcast and the Oprah interview.

And then there's the obvious but awkward issue of being a bird with no wings. A bird that can't fly.

Kiwi are so embarrassed by this they only come out at night in case any one notices this deformity.

But moa stand at up to 3.5m tall in broad daylight, which is quite hard to miss. It's not like you can hide behind another bird or a tree or anything else, really.

They stick out like the Sky Tower, which is more fodder for the podcast, no doubt.

So to the moa, who we will soon raise from the dead: Welcome to a brand new world. Welcome the world you deserved from the beginning.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The more or moer if you're in the South Island,
and in this case we are was a visionary bird
well ahead of its time. Bringing them back from extinction
makes perfect sense. We'll be setting them free. They can
finally live their b ls, live their best lives, spread
their wings metaphorically, of course, because they don't if you
have wings. But they'll be free in this brave, new

(00:21):
modern world. Firstly, they're vegan, so hip and trendy box
number one, big tick. Wait till they try the incredible burger,
that's the faux meet burger. They just will blow their
minds after six hundred years of sleep, the eggplant sandwiches
with the vegan slow they're going to love that. Wait
for it, though, they get woker. The women are dominant

(00:44):
one and a half times bigger than the men, did
you know this is a true fact, and two and
a half times the weight. Very trendy progressive box number two.
Tick number three. Turns out they were quite oppressed back
in the day. Victims, you could call them all so
very trendy today, hunted to extinction by men with spears,

(01:04):
slaughtered eaten, and you know what that means. In twenty
twenty five, lived experience. Congratulations, wait for the wellness podcast
and the Oprah interview. And then there's the obvious but
awkward issue of being a bird with no wings, a
bird that can't fly? Can we so embarrassed by this

(01:25):
that they only come out at night in case anyone
notices this deformity? But ma up to three and a
half meters tall in broad daylight quite hard to miss.
It's you know, you can't hide behind a tree, can you?
You can't hide behind another bird. You're the biggest one
in the bush. I'll stick out like the skytower anyway.
That'll be more fodder for the podcast, no doubt so.

(01:47):
To the mo who we will soon raise from the dead,
Welcome to a brand new world. Welcome to the world
you deserved from the beginning. For more from Heather to Us,
see Allen Drive. Listen live to News Talk Set B
from four pm weekdays, or follow the podcast on iHeartRadio.