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August 15, 2025 • 3 mins

Well, I don't know what kind of psychosis has taken hold of the bureaucrats at Health New Zealand, but you want to see these rules that they've put out about the food and what food is allowed and what food is banned from the hospital cafeterias. It is ridiculously, ridiculously prescriptive.

So what they've done is they, they, they put out, because they like wasting their time on nonsense, they've put out their new national food and drink policy. 
And it's divided food into three categories.

You've got the green category, that's the good stuff.

You've got the amber category, that's a bit naughty, but OK, and you've got the red category and that's banned.

So what you are allowed to eat when you go to the hospital cafeteria is chicken. 

But without the skin on. So that you're basically left with the saddest, driest chicken breast known to man. Yum, enjoy yourself. Beef and pork, that is allowed, but the staff have to trim the visible fat off, and they have to drain the fatty drippings, which completely ignores the modern research that shows actually meat fat is not that bad for you, and maybe you need it. 

You are allowed to have a quiche, but it must have no crust. You are allowed a vegetable slice or an egg cup, but they must contain vegetables. A pie is OK, but only if it's smaller than 210 g, and only if it has a potato top. What I've just described to you is basically the green category. 

That is the only food that they're allowed to display to us. Everything else must not be within your eyesight, cause God only knows what's gonna happen if you clap your eyes on a muffin.

The green category must make up 55% of the food at the hospital cafeteria. Amber foods, things you're allowed to eat but not allowed to see, include things like muffins and loaves and slices. They must all be under 120 g, savory pies must be under 210 g, not on display. Nacho chips, white bread, Doughboys, wraps, and pizza bases. They are allowed to have icing on the sweeter things, but they're only allowed to have very little bit of icing, not a lot. 

Red food, this is food that is recommended to be banned, includes marshmallows in your hot chocolate. 

Thick icing, chocolate covered food, food containing confectionery, like rocky roads, lolly slices, pebbles, wontons. 

Oh, that's not actually got lollies in it, but it also includes wontons, money bags, spring rolls, commercially flavored rice, pasta, noodles, and deep fried items. Now, I don't know what, what this tells you about Health New Zealand, but I'm gonna guess that they've either lost the plot or whoever made these rules has decided to run the cafeteria in the spirit of a communist dictatorship, where adults must have every aspect of their lives controlled for them. 

The fact that we are adults and can decide for ourselves what we should or should not eat is clearly not been factored into this equation.  Some of us actually enjoy to have the fat on the meat, very much. Some of us like to eat the skin on our chicken. Hospitals, do I need to remind you are grim. Going to the cafeteria to buy a treat for yourself or perhaps your dying loved 1 may be the only thing that that person has in the day that brings them a little bit of joy. 

Now, the thing is, Health New Zealand can go ahead with this if they want to. 

It's their cafeteria after all. Problem with their little dictatorship plan is they only control their tiny little communist state. They do not control.  The gigantic capitalist market outside of it. So I don't know about you, but as a an adult who can decide for myself, I suspect I will be bringing in my brioche, dripping in gigantic slabs of icing and just eating it on their premises.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I don't know what kind of psychosis has taken hold
of the bureaucrats at Health New Zealand, but you want
to see these rules that they've put out about the
food and what food is allowed and what food is
banned from their hospital cafeterias. It is ridiculously, ridiculously prescriptive.
So what they've done is they put out because they
like wasting their time on nonsense, They've put out their
new National Food and Drink Policy, and it's divided food

(00:23):
into three categories. You've got the green category that's the
good stuff. You got the Amber category that's a bit
naughty but okay, and you've got the red category and
that's banned. So what you are allowed to eat when
you go to the hospital cafeteria is chicken, but without
the skin on, so that you're basically left with the saddest,

(00:44):
driest chicken breast known to man. Yum, enjoy yourself. Beef
and pork that is allowed, but the staff have to
trim the visible fat off and they have to drain
the fatty drippings, which completely ignores the modern research that
show is actually meat fat is not that bad for you,
and maybe you need it. You are allowed to have

(01:05):
a kish, but it must have no crust. You are
allowed a vegetable slice or an egg cup, but they
must contain vegetables. A pie is okay, but only if
it's smaller than two hundred and ten grams, and only
if it has a potato top. What I've just described
to you is basically the green category. That is the
only food that they are allowed to display to us.

(01:26):
Everything else must not be within your eye sight, because
God only knows what's going to happen if you clap
your eyes on a muffin. The green category must make
up fifty five percent of the food at the hospital cafeteria.
Amber foods things you're allowed to eat but not allowed
to see include things like muffins and loaves and slices.

(01:46):
They must all be under one hundred and twenty grams.
Savory pies must be under two hundred and ten grams.
Not on display, nacho chips, white bread, dough boys, wraps,
and pizza bases. They are allowed to have icing on
the sweeter things, but they're only allowed to have very
little bit of icing, not a lot. Red food. This

(02:08):
is food that is recommended to be banned. Includes marshmallows
in your hot chocolate, thick icing, chocolate covered food, food
containing confectionery like Rocky Roads, lolly slices, pebbles, wann Tons
or that's not actually got lollies in it though, but
it also includes wan Tons, money bags, spring rolls, commercially
flavored rice, pasta, noodles, and deep fried items. Now, I

(02:32):
don't know what this tells you about health New Zealand,
but I'm gonna guess that they've either lost the plot
or whoever made these rules has decided to run the
cafeteria in the spirit of a communist dictatorship, where adults
must have every aspect of their lives controlled for them.
The fact that we are adults and can decide for
ourselves what we should or should not eat is clearly

(02:53):
not been factored into this equation. Some of us actually
enjoyed to have the fat on the meat very much.
Some of us it's like to eat the skin on
our chicken. Hospitals. Do I need to remind you a
grim going to the cafeteria to buy a treat for
yourself or perhaps your dying loved one. Maybe the only
thing that that person has in the day that brings
them a little bit of joy. Now. The thing is

(03:15):
Health New Zealand can go ahead with this if they
want to. It's their cafeteria after all. Problem with their
little dictatorship plan is they only control their tiny little
communist state. They do not control the gigantic capitalist market
outside of it. So I don't know about you, but
as an adult who can decide for myself, I suspect
I will be bringing in my brioche, dripping in gigantic

(03:37):
slabs of icing and just eating it on their premises.
For more from Heather Duplessy Allen Drive, listen live to
news talks that'd be from four pm weekdays, or follow
the podcast on iHeartRadio
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