Jack Tame: While your share in your child’s discomfort you also share in their almighty relief

Gas. 

I think of all the things I knew (in theory) about parenting a new-born but had to experience in person to fully appreciate, it is the myriad curiosities of a two-and-a-half-week-old’s digestive tract that have left me the most befuddled. 

I knew in theory that babies had to be burped. I knew in theory they often have problems and discomfort when digesting their latest feeds. I knew in theory that a baby with gas or an obstruction somewhere in his gut might even wake himself up. I guess I’m just shocked at the speed with which I’ve transformed into one of those parents totally obsessed with his baby son’s belches and bowels. 

It’s the pain, that does it. When something’s trapped somewhere deep, the way his little face scrunches up and contorts, how he writhes and twists and clenches every muscle in his body. Often I’m holding him and he’s holding me, his tiny little hand gripping my index finger as he clenches, his fingers white and his face a crimson red with the strain and effort. 

Before you ask, yes, I have tried various techniques for getting things moving at both ends. In fact, my social media feed these days seems to be nothing but baby osteopaths folding infants in half. There’s the classic baby-over the shoulder, pat on the back. There’s the stomach massage, the bicycle legs, and the deep squat.

There’s the baby over the forearm, neck-supported facing out, and the baby-over-the-forearm, neck-supported facing in. My personal favourite is the wiggle-waggle, where you lift him under his armpits with one hand, and take his weight under his butt with the other. You gently move your hands in different directions to bring a range of movement to his digestive track, in the hope you will be rewarded with a range of movements in return.

I knew we’d have disrupted sleep. I just never really accounted for the gas part of being up at night. His mum feeds him – not much I can do there – but the of course, one of us has to sit up imbed for a non-specific amount of time... just waiting. You can never be totally sure he’s been fully burped. There’s no finish line as it were. It’s a judgement call. And at 2.53am when your body is urging you to lie-down and go back to sleep (“Look at him, he seems fiiine”) – you know that if you pull the trigger too early, he’ll be waking himself up in twenty minutes, twisting and groaning in bed. 

When you think about it, it’s pretty crazy that new-borns go from relying on the placenta for all their nutrients to instantly switching on the full length of the complex human digestive tract. It’s not like they ease into it. Alas, as our son’s milk intake has increased, his digestive tract has not quite kept pace. Put simply, the outputs don’t always match the inputs. It’s perfectly normal, of course, and he’s far too young to be hurrying up with a tray of black coffee and prune juice, but sometimes his stomach feels hard to the touch. 

Cruelly, his preferred way of soothing his discomfort is to feed again, which then exacerbates the problem. At 19-days-old he’s not yet ready to listen to reason or comprehend the concept of a vicious cycle. 

I’m back in the office fulltime this week after a wonderful period at home. But I can tell you already that my texts with my wife are gonna’ take on a grimly digestive line of inquiry. The thing about parenting is that while your share in your child’s discomfort you also share in their almighty relief. Especially when someone else is on clean-up.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
You're listening to the Saturday Morning with Jack Team podcast
from News Talks.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
A'd be gas. I think of all the things I
knew in theory at least about parenting a newborn, but
had to experience in person to fully appreciate, I think
it's gas, the myriad curiosities of a two and a
half week old's digestive tract that have left me the

(00:32):
most befuddled. You know, I knew in theory that babies
had to be burped. Okay, I knew in theory they
often have problems and discomfort when digesting their latest feeds.
And I knew in theory that a baby with gas
or an obstruction somewhere in his guts might even wake
himself up. I guess I'm just shocked at the speed

(00:56):
with which I've transformed into one of those parents totally
obsessed with his baby son's belches and bowels. It's the
pain that does it, when something's trapped somewhere deep, the
way his little face scrunches up and contorts, how he
writhes and twists and clenches every muscle in his body.

(01:22):
Often I'm holding him, and he's holding me, his tiny
little hand gripping my index finger as he clenches his
fingers white, his face a crimson red with the strain
and effort. Before you ask, yes, I have tried various
techniques for getting things moving at both ends. In fact,

(01:44):
my social media feed these days seems to me nothing
but baby osteopaths holding infants and folding them in half.
There's the classic baby over the shoulder, pat on the back.
There's the stomach massage, the bicycle legs, and the deep squat.
There's the baby over the forearm next supported facing out,

(02:04):
and the baby over the forearm next supported facing in.
My personal favorite is the wheel waggle, where you lift
him gently just under his armpits with one hand and
then take his weight under his butt with the other,
and you gently move your hands in different directions to
try and bring a range of movement to his digestive track,
and the hope that you'll be rewarded with a range

(02:27):
of movements in return. I knew we would have disrupted sleep.
I just never really accounted for the gas part of
being up at night. His mum feeds him. There's not
much I can do there, But then of course one
of us has to sit up in bed for a
non specific amount of time, just waiting. You can never

(02:49):
be totally sure that he's been fully burned. There's no
finish line, as it were. There is an alarm that
goes off. It's a judgment call. And at two point
fifty three am, when your body is urging you to
lie down and go back to sleep, look at him.
He seems far You know that if you pull the
trigger too early, he'll be waking himself up in twenty minutes,

(03:12):
twisting and groaning in his cot. When you think about it,
it's kind of crazy that newborns go from relying on
the placenta for all of their nutrients to instantly switching
on the full length of the complex human digestive tract.
It's not like they ease into it. Alas. As our
son's milk intake has increased, his digestive tract has not

(03:37):
quite kept pace. Put simply, the outputs don't always match
the inputs. It's perfectly normal, of course, and he's far
too young to be hurrying up with a tray of
black coffee and prune juice. But sometimes his stomach feels
hard to the touch, cruelly. His preferred way of soothing

(03:58):
his discomfort is to feed again, which then exacerbates the problem,
and at nineteen days old, he's not yet ready to
listen to reason or comprehend the concept of a vicious cycle.
I'm back in the office full time this week after
a wonderful little period at home, but I can tell
you already that my texts with my wife are going

(04:19):
to take on a grimly digestive line of inquiry. The
thing about parenting is that while you share in your
child's discomfort, you also share and they're almighty relief, especially
when someone else is on cleaner.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
For more from Saturday Morning with Jack Tame, listen live
to News Talks' b from nine Am, saturday or follow
the podcast On iHeartRadio