Let’s be honest, so far as All Blacks tests go, this is a bit of a funny one.
If you were just weighing the odds on paper, I suppose there’s good reason why you might favour Les Bleus.
I hadn’t realised it until this week, but we’re coming off a three-game losing streak against the French, and you’ll remember last year’s first All Blacks test in Dunedin was a nail-biting one-point victory. The All Blacks didn’t scream cohesion. Add to that the fact I still don’t think we have an emphatic answer for who should start at ten, and Tupou Vai’i, surely one of the World’s best locks, is playing blindside flanker!
And yet the French are playing eight debutants and have left a slab of their elite stars back home. If it were any other test nation, I think New Zealand Rugby would have the right to kick up a bit of a fuss about the whole situation. But given the French and their history of spirited unpredictability on the rugby football pitch, it probably makes sense to secure a dominant victory before moaning about the standard of the opposition.
You can just imagine it, can’t you? No sooner would we lodge a formal complaint than a French rugby team with a prop at first five or a winger throwing the line outs would intercept an errant pass in the 84th minute or accidentally charge down the match-ending clearance kick with their replacement fullback’s face in a freak moment of sporting brilliance to pip the All Blacks for yet another famous victory.
An All Blacks test is an All Blacks test and the first of the season always gets me fizzing, but truthfully I realised I’d crossed a curious little Rubicon of sorts this week when I noted in myself an even greater sense of excitement about a completely different Gallic endeavour which happens to coincide with tonight’s game.
The Tour de France kicks off tonight. And I dunno what it is, but over the last few years it has become appointment viewing for me on the international sporting calendar. I think the romance and agony of it all is just so alluring. The way that riders slowly decay over the three weeks and more than 3000km. The way teams have to work to secure individual victories. The spectators lining the road, running with the leaders, often getting far, far closer than would ever be allowed in any other sport. The psychology of it! It’s madness. Imagine cycling for hundreds of kilometres in intense heat or over a mountain range, only to get back to your bus and know you have to do it again the next day. And the next day. And the day after that.
I honestly thought after the Lance Armstrong saga that I was done with the Tour de France. But whether it’s the Netflix treatment or the incredible, generation-defining rivalry of the World’s two best riders, I’m very much back in the saddle.
So there’s my pick. I reckon the All Blacks are well-placed to blast the French in Dunedin. But if you haven’t watched it in a while, and you want guaranteed sporting drama... hang around a few more hours tonight for stage one of Le Tour. You will not be disappointed.
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