Jack Tame: Drawing the line with Apple

I make no bones about it – I'm a bit of an Apple yuppy.   

I was hooked at a critical time. Travelling across the US as a one-man tv-news-making band, I often found myself in seat 32B on a cut-price red-eye flight, totally dependent on a laptop with sufficient grunt to edit HD video for hours at a time, and sufficient durability so that when it got knocked about in the overhead locker, the casing would remain in one piece.  

And the way these companies work is that the moment you rely on them for one thing, they get their claws out and squeeze you ever closer. I went from being a MacBook user, to an iPhone user, to an iPad user, to an AirPod user, to an iCloud subscriber, too. I’m more or less trapped within the system now. Locked into paying Apple every month until I leave this mortal world. 

But finally, I think I’m drawing the line. 

Apple has just released its latest Apple Watch and finally caught up to much of the smart device competition by giving users a daily sleep score. 

The idea is that you wear your watch to bed. It measures your heart rate, blood oxygen saturation, temperature, and your movement. It records what time you go down, the number of disturbances you have, your various sleep cycles, and how much time you ultimately spend between the sheets. 

And then, 1-100, it gives you a score.   

Of course, you can be smart scored on all manner of things in life, these days. You can get a smart toothbrush that’ll connect to an app on your phone and give you personalised feedback on your brushing technique. Breezed over a lower molar too quickly? That’ll affect your score. 

You can get a smart razor that’ll do the same thing. Pushed a bit hard on a tricky chin dimple? Stiff cheese. That’ll affect your score. 

You can buy a smart water bottle that’ll score your hydration. You can be scored on your light exposure and your posture. Apparently if you’re really curious, there’s even a market in devices that’ll score individual sexual wellbeing. Just maybe don’t Google them at work. 

But to me, at least, there’s a fundamental contradiction at the heart of the sleep score concept. If I’m having a bad night’s sleep, few things are guaranteed to make it worse than knowing I’m being assessed. I’d get anxious. I’d stress out, toss and turn, flip my pillow back and forth. And for what? Just to read a number in the morning that tells me what I already know. 

I don’t need a smart watch or a special ring to know I’ve had a bad night’s sleep. I know because I feel bad. So I should’ve gone to bed earlier or shouldn’t have had that late afternoon coffee? I should’ve turned off those other screens and devices earlier? Thank you, but instead of looking up a score I’ll look in the mirror instead.   

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
You're listening to the Saturday Morning with Jack Team podcast
from news Talks at B Look.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
I make no bones about it. I am a little
bit of an Apple yuppie. I think that's what you
call me. Yeah, I'm a bit of an Apple yuppy, right.
I was hooked to Apple products at a bit of
a critical time. Traveling across the US as a one
man TV news making band, I often found myself in

(00:35):
seat thirty two B of a cut price red Eye flight,
totally dependent on a laptop with sufficient grunt to edit
HD video for hours at a time, and sufficient durability
so that when it got knocked about in the overhead locker,
the casing around my laptop would remain in one piece.

(00:55):
So Apple it was. And the way these companies work
is that the moment you rely on them for one thing,
they're very good at getting their claws out and squarelasing
you ever closer. So I went from being an Apple
MacBook user to being an iPhone user, to being an
iPad user, to being an AirPod user to being an

(01:16):
iCloud subscriber too. I'm more or less trapped within the system. Honestly,
I'm locked into paying Apple every month until I leave
this mortal world. But finally I think I'm drawing the line.
So Apple, alongside its new phones, has just released its
latest Apple Watch, and it's finally caught up to much

(01:39):
of these smart device competition by giving users a daily
sleep score. So the idea is that you wear your
watch to bed and with its little senses and whatever technology,
it measures your heart rate and your blood oxygen saturation,
and your temperature, your movement. It records what time you
go down, It records the number of disturbances you have,

(02:02):
your various sleep cycles, and how much time you ultimately
spend between the show sheets, and then one to one
hundred it gives you a score. Of course, you can
be smart scored on all manner of things in life
these days. So you can get a smart toothbrush, for example,
that'll connect to an app on your phone and give

(02:25):
you personalized feedback on your brushing technique. Breezed over a
lower molar too quickly, did you, Well, I'm sorry to
say that's going to affect your score. You can get
a smart razor that'll do the same thing. Pushed a
bit hard on a tricky chin, dimple stiff cheese that
will affect your score. You can buy a smart water

(02:47):
bottle that will score your hydration. You can be scored
on your light exposure. You can be scored on your posture. Apparently,
if you're really curious, there is even a market in
devices that will score individual sexual well being. Just maybe
don't google limit work. But to me, at least, there

(03:08):
is a fundamental contradiction at the heart of the sleep
score concept. If I'm having a bad night's sleep, if
something's keeping me up, few things are guaranteed to make
it worse than knowing I'm being assessed. I just know
that I'd get anxious. I would stress out even more.

(03:30):
I would toss and turn and flip my pillow back
and forth, and for what, just to read a number
in the morning that tells me what I already know.
The thing is, I don't need a smart watch or
a special ring. I don't need a wearable to know
that I've had a bad night's sleep. I know because
I feel bad. So I should have gone to bed earlier,

(03:53):
or shouldn't have had that late afternoon coffee. I should
have turned off those other screens and devices before getting
between the sheets, thank you. But instead of looking up
a score, I'll just turn to a mirror and see

Speaker 1 (04:07):
For more From Saturday Morning with Jack Tame, Listen live
to News Talks ed B from nine am Saturday, or
follow the podcast on iHeartRadio