Kate Hawkesby: Why wasn't more done after the first time Tom Phillips disappeared with his kids?

When Thomas Phillips first went missing into dense bush with his kids back in 2021, I wrote an editorial at the time saying police and welfare agencies weren’t taking it seriously enough in my view. There was a lot of talk at the time about leaving it to the community, leaving it to the family, trying to understand that rural New Zealand is different to what those of us in cities are used to. 

I was criticized by people who said worrying about three kids in the bush with their Dad was over the top, it was middle class angst, that the kids were “probably fine” and that they’d be used to being in the bush with their Dad. 

I argued that no matter how used to pig hunting or going bush with your Dad you are, being taken from your family against your will and without your Mum or anyone else’s knowledge was akin to kidnapping.

That there should be more alarm around finding them, securing their safety, making sure they were well, and that was before we even got to the fact that these kids should be in school not sleeping rough in a bush.

And not to forget all the police time and resources wasted looking for him, the local lives jeopardized by becoming bush hunters themselves looking for them all.

But the chorus of those criticising me for being over the top was loud, and so they were very smug when he wandered out of the bush 17 days later with the kids seemingly fine, physically, anyway. So all’s well as can be, they assumed.

But I argued at the time that agencies needed to step in and do more, that 17 days is in the bush was still potentially traumatic, that something was off here and that Tom Phillips should face some sort of consequence.

‘The family will sort it out’, many argued back. And here we are now. A couple of months later he was gone again - disappearing with the children a second time - and this time not for a few weeks, but for so far seven months and counting. 

The family are beside themselves.

They’ve been searching, pleading with locals to search as well, they launched a petition asking for Police and Oranga Tamariki to step up their efforts. They’re worried the kids will be malnourished and say they’re “not used to that life”.  

Oh, so it turns out just because kids grow up in a rural area, they’re not “used to that life”.. as those sitting pretty in the city wrongly assumed they might be. 

The mother, who’s desperate, said it’s hard to believe they’re back in the same situation. I bet.

But also, where was the wrap around service and care for this family after the first disappearance? Why were agencies so reluctant to step in and get amongst this? Why did Police just lay a ‘wasting our time’ charge and sit around waiting for a court date, which by the time it rolled around he’d vanished for anyway. 

When this family’s vanishing act presented itself first time round, many wanted to believe it was just a rural adventure and we shouldn’t worry about it.

The tone from people was to just calm down, leave it to them and stay out of their business. That ‘she’ll be right mate’ attitude, may well be what got us to where we are now.

With three kids missing (again) and their mother beside herself. So I said it last time and I’ll say it again, this is not a ‘rural’ issue, this is a parenting issue. 

This is a parent failing his kids. Police and other agencies need to get involved – and fast.

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