Ryan Bridge: The signs you know you’re getting older

I watched a movie Sunday with a group of friends. Here are 12 things I learnt:

1. You probably aren’t hungover on the couch at home uber-eatsing Maccas from the sofa.

2. You have taken the extraordinary measure of walking, using your perfectly capable legs even though you're still a bit stiff and sore from the gym.

3. This means you have visited the gym four times this week to ensure your ass will squeeze into the ever-shrinking vice of a seat provided these days.

4. You chat amongst yourselves loudly while the shorts are playing because you just do not give a flying shite about that level of decorum any longer. Nobody paid for the shorts, they paid for the film - the rest is marketing.

5. The short you do watch has Leonardo DiCaprio (heartthrob of youth) playing the cantankerous father figure to group of young actors you wouldn’t know from a bar of soap.

6. You feel nostalgia that the movie is set in the early 2000s.

7. You find the young actors replicating that style —the clothes, the hair, the style— immediately lame for copying what we clearly wore better.

8. One of your friend has a moon boot on after a ‘fall’ he took while out walking with this same group of friends the weekend prior.

9. You love the movie 'Caught Stealing' with Austin Butler. Not just because it’s a good simple hearty action thriller but because it’s only an hour and half long.

10. That means only one toilet break because it’s impossible to sit on 660mls of fizzy water without the feeling you bladder may explode into a thousand pieces. 

11. The timeframe is just enough before you need to rearrange to alleviate back pain.

12. You laugh, you’re enthralled, you feel content sitting there in the dark with your buddies. Happy in the knowledge any worries you had going in are a world away from the grungy lower east side of Manhattan where the film is set. 

It’s the little things you notice that paint a picture of where your life is at, how old you are and how you fit into a world of ever changing demographics.

It’s a reminder to enjoy the good moments in life with the people that make you happy.

Because one day we’ll either have dementia or be dead.  

Here's to middle age. Halfway dead and fine with it. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Few signs that you know you're getting older. I watched
a movie on Sunday with the group of friends. Here
are twelve things I learned. One, I wasn't hungover on
the couch, Uber eats and McDonald's from the sofa. That's
a sign that you're getting older. Number two. I took
the extraordinary measure of walking to the movies using perfectly
capable legs, even though they are a bit stiff, bit

(00:20):
sore from the gym. Three. This means you have visited
the gym four times this week to ensure that your
ass will squeeze into that ever shrinking seat that they
put you in at the movies. Four. You chat amongst
yourselves quite loudly while the shorts are playing, because well,
you just don't give a flying shit about that level
of decorum any longer, do you. Nobody paid for the shorts.

(00:42):
They paid for the film. The rest is marketing. Five.
The short you do watch has Leonardo DiCaprio, heart Throb
of youth, playing the cantankerous father figure, and a group
of young actors the children, and you have no idea
who they are. Five You feel nostalgia. The movie is
set in the early two thousands. Six, You feel the

(01:03):
young actors replicating the style of the clothes, the hair
bit lame, copying what we clearly did better. Eight. One
of your friends has a moon boot on after a
fall that he took while we were out walking over
the weekend prior eight. At nine, you can't count. You
love the movie Caught Stealing with Austin Butler. You should

(01:25):
go and see it if you haven't, not just because
it's good and it's a simple, hearty action thriller, but
because it's only an hour and a half long. Ten
That means only one toilet break, because it's impossible to
sit on six hundred and sixty miles of fizzy water
without the feeling that your bladder might explode into a
thousand pieces. Eleven The time frame is just enough before

(01:47):
you need to rearrange because you've got back pains, always
of sign you're getting older. Twelve are most importantly, you laugh,
You're enthralled, you have a good time. You feel pretty
content sitting there in the dark with your buddy, happy
in the knowledge that any worries you had going in
are a world away from the grungey Lower East Side
of Manhattan, where the film is set. It's the little

(02:08):
things you notice that paint a picture of where your
life is at, how old you are, and how you
fit into the world of ever changing demographics. It's a
reminder to enjoy the good moments in life and the
people that make you happy, because one day we'll either
have dementia or be dead. Here's to middle age, halfway
dead and just fine with that. For more from Early

(02:31):
Edition with Ryan Bridge, listen live to News Talk Set
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