Ryan Bridge: NZTA - the Grinch that stole Christmas

A few years ago, we had a bunch of stories about Santa parades getting cancelled because of red tape and traffic management.

NZTA was the Grinch that stole Christmas.

And guess what, two years in, despite a change of Government, despite a Minister and Ministry of Regulation, despite the road cone tip line, the Grinch is back.

This time it’s Piopio. Population around 500. Rural. Between Hamilton and New Plymouth. SH3.

They want to close the road on the main which is their usual route. It’s close from 5:30pm to 8pm. Two and half hours.

Kids get to see Santa’s sleigh riding through town. Lollies would presumably be thrown from floats driven behind Utes - or do they still throw lollies, or would you be fined for hitting somebody? 

Anyway, you get the idea. We’ve all been to a Santa parade - great fun when you’re a kid.

Guess how much it was going to cost them because of the Grinch’s traffic rules and the resulting bill for traffic management costs?

It would normally cost around $1000. This year? $10,000-$14,000.

If you’re organising a Santa parade or an ANZAC parade or community event, don’t worry, on the NZTA website you’ll find a helpful guide: the New Zealand Guide to Temporary Traffic Management.

It’s 88 pages long.

That’s not the only problem. The first sentence of the foreword (yes, there’s a foreword to this magnum opus) outlines the problem.

Waka Kotahi NZ Transport Agency is committed to Road to Zero - a safer Aotearoa New Zealand where no one is killed or injured on our roads. 

Now, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is an absolute pipe dream and will never happen. Aiming for that outcome is mad. 

What you get as a result is 88 pages of rubbish and a $14k bill to get Santa in a sleigh for two hours. 

The organisers say they’ll have to do a Christmas meet and greet but no actual parade. 

Christmas is the season to be jolly and the season for giving. NZTA is giving Grinch vibes and a bad attitude. 

Whether it’s working from home, health and safety, or curriculum changes, there’s a wall of bureaucracy that seems impenetrable.

A change of government and direction doesn’t seem to change anything.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
A few years ago, we had a bunch of stories
about Santa parades getting canceled because of red tape and
traffic management, all sorts of horrible stuff. NZTA was the
Grinch that stole Christmas? Do you remember this? Guess what?
Two years on, despite a change of government, despite a
minister and Ministry of Regulation, despite the road cone tip line,
the Grinch is back. This is one of those stories.

(00:21):
It's kind of like the working from home in the
public service, you know, one of these stories where the
government's almost powerless and the bureaucrats win. This time, it's
peel Pul population around five hundred. It's rural State Highway three,
North Island. They want to close the road on the
main drag, which is their usual route. They want to
close this road from five point thirty pm to eight pm,

(00:44):
two and a half hours for you know, kids get
to see the Santa sleigh riding through town. Lollies presumably
would be thrown from the floats. Or do they still
do that if you had a child or you arrest
I don't know. I digress, but you get the idea.
We've all been to one and they're great fun. Guess
how much it was going to cost them because of

(01:04):
the Grinches traffic rules and the resulting bill for traffic
management costs. It would normally put them back about one
thousand dollars this year. Wait for it, between ten and
fourteen thousand dollars for two and a half hours. Now.
You might balk at that, and I did. If you're
organizing a Sanda parade or an Anzac parade or a

(01:25):
community event, don't worry. The NZTA website has a helpful
guide for you. It's New Zealand's Guide to Temporary Traffic Management.
It's eighty eight pages long. I read it last night.
Well no I didn't. I read the first page and
I thought, this is absolute nonsense. The only thing you
need to read is the first sentence of the foreword.
Yes there's a fore word. Wakakotahi. New Zealand Transport Agency

(01:48):
is committed to Road to zero, a safe for altiro
in New Zealand where no one is killed or injured
on our roads. I hate to be the bearer of
bad news, but this is an absolute pipe dream of
a god and will never happen. Aiming for the outcome
is mad. What you get as a result is eighty
eight pages of bs and a fourteen thousand dollar bill

(02:09):
to get Santa on a sleigh for two hours. It's
madness and it continues. The organizers don't worry. They say
they have a Christmas meet and greet, but no actual parade.
Christmas is the season to be jolly. It is the
season forgiving, and NZTA is giving grinch vibes and a
bad attitude in my view. For more from Early Edition

(02:30):
with Ryan Bridge, listen live to News Talk Set B
from five am weekdays, or follow the podcast on iHeartRadio