September 24, 2024 • 6 mins
Gandhi's feelings are hurt after her friend called her a gaslighter.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the morning show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I got a little note from Gandhi because everyone's fible
to just kind of checking to see how she's doing
and how you're doing, Danielle, and may I read this?
It's kind of personal. May I read this out loud? Sure?
What you wrote? Yeah, Elvis? I think my stars are
out of alignment with the Within the past couple of weeks,
people have been saying the craziest things to me about
my character, my lifestyle, just a whole bunch of big
(00:28):
feelings and they're all crappy. People have been lying to
my face about some stuff, and I'm reaching my limit.
Usually I just let people vent and say what they
want to, but I've argued back a little and I
got then I got called a gas.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Lighter on numerous occasions.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Oh jeez, I hate that term gaslighting. I think we're
done with that. I think it's the worst. Do you
want to talk about this? I mean, is it just
everyone in Unison is just beating the crap out of you?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
So no, I won't say everyone in Unison because I
think that's dramatic. It feels like that. It is not
like that. It's just a handful of people who I
thought or still think are fairly close to me, who
just have some crap to say. And I'm like, I
was very caught off guard by it. But you can't
argue people out of their feelings. So if somebody feels
that way, you gotta let them feel that way and
(01:13):
listen to what they have to say. But then there
were some accusations along the way of things that I
just hardcore disagree with, or the statement of the way
something happened and it did not happen like that, And
when you say it does not happen, you could call
it a gaslighter. I'm like, no, no, no, no, huh. I'm
not gaslighting you by saying that is not what happened.
If that's actually not what happened, right, you are gaslighting
(01:36):
me if you tell me that stating facts is not true, right,
step it just listen. It's been crazy, and I not lie.
My feelings have been hurt and I'm not used to
my feelings getting well.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Look, you know, we all agree that you are the
most caring, giving person in our family, and you're lovely
and you don't deserve that. And if someone wants to
have a conversation. As you're air quotes, friend, then please
do so, but do it in a respectful manner. Yes,
and excuse me, and be open to what you have
to say about what they're saying about you. Yes, it's
so easy to throw someone up on the cross and
(02:13):
crucify them without really thinking about what you're saying and
what you're doing. And you know that's that's not cool.
And I'm hoping, I'm hoping it's no one within this
close circle here.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
No, it's people you guys don't even know. But I've
been thinking about.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Well, I will tell you something from the oldest guy
in the room. This is where you start understanding why
you shed yourself in your life. You shed the people
that are dead skin. There are people that you thought
at one time they meant something to you, and maybe
they did. But when they start talking to you like
(02:49):
that and they don't leave open a hole for the
possibility that they're wrong what they're saying to you, and
they accuse you of gas lighting, okay, gas lighting, goodbye.
You know, but if they back you into a corner
where you know, sometimes you do need to defend yourself,
you're saying a second ago gandhi, I just let them
vent and let it go. Well, no, you know what,
you you owe it to yourself to defend yourself just
(03:12):
as we would defend you. Well, thank Daniel. Do you
agree what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
One hundred percent?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:17):
You know me, I'm not keep my mouth shut. I'm
not mean with something. I'm gonna go back.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
So that's my first instinct. My first instinct is to
come out swinging like what are you talking about? Oh,
you want to fight, let's fight. But then I'm trying
to be more mature and more of an adult about
things and just let people say the things that they feel,
air it out, sit with it for a moment before
I just, you know, blindly swing back. But then when
I sit with it, I'm like, still, no, no, I
(03:41):
still don't agree with you. Yeah, I've thought about this,
and I think everything that you said was a pile
of poppycock. And we can fight about this, but I don't.
I just I don't want to argue with people. I'm like,
oh that's how you feel about me?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Well, okay, you know arguing. Arguing can be different, different
shades of arguing, right, I mean, there's the defending yourself
respectfully or the like, shut up, really get f out
of here. Even know what I know, it's it's a
stupid meme you see all the time on Instagram. But
when someone says something that offends you, it's always good
(04:12):
to be as silent as you can, just like that.
Hear that, yes, And then you can look at me
in the eye and say, can you repeat what you
just said to me? And then have them repeat what
they just said, and sometimes that will make them go,
oh god, okay, maybe what I'm saying is stupid, And
(04:33):
sometimes it doesn't, you know, I don't know, but sometimes
silence is the most deafening defense.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
And then you just walk away, just turn and walk away,
and then they're left there going.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
But I had somebody, you remember, somebody used to work
for us. That's something to me one time and I said,
wait a second, I'm not sure I heard that properly.
Can you just run that by me one more time?
It runs one more time, I want to make sure
hear it. And they said it again and it was
exactly what I thought they said. And I said, okay, cool,
(05:05):
I'll get back to you right and.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Then ask them, hey, did you hear what you just said.
But then at that point, you know, it's it's a
back and forth thing, and maybe you don't want to
get into them.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I don't know, And I think I've really been trying
to pay attention to this too lately. Never take advice
or criticism from somebody who is not doing something with
their life that you would want to do. Yeah. So
if there's an idiot telling me that I'm an idiot,
do I care if I don't want to follow in
their footsteps of anything that they're doing. No, But sometimes
(05:34):
it still.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Thinks exactly, yeah, And that's that's friendship, and it's the disappointment.
I mean, you know what my dad always used to
tell me, You've got to lower your expectation of people.
Sometimes I'm like, well, I don't want to only that,
only surround yourself. Only surround yourself with those few people
who deserve you and as a friend. Yeah, And then
you know, I may sit here and tell you your
(05:56):
hair is red, and you you know for a fact
your hair isn't red. I see red, and so I'm
going to tell you what I see, whether it's right
or wrong, and it's it's it's good. It's good to
know when you got to like let people go. Yeah,
and it's okay.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I saw somebody posted this weekend, become more aware of
what's really worth your energy, and I kept it and
I keep going back to look at it. And it's
true that with everything, not just with you know, you
know stuff in general, but with people also.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
No, totally, I completely agree. And I will say having
my feelings hurt was a new phenomenon that I haven't
felt in a very long time.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
So I was like, ew, it's good. Your feelings are
hurt for a reason. You listen to listen to your heart.
You're you, You are hurting for a reason. That reason
is your answer.
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the morning show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I got a little note from Gandhi because everyone's fible
to just kind of checking to see how she's doing
and how you're doing, Danielle, and may I read this?
It's kind of personal. May I read this out loud? Sure?
What you wrote? Yeah, Elvis? I think my stars are
out of alignment with the Within the past couple of weeks,
people have been saying the craziest things to me about
my character, my lifestyle, just a whole bunch of big
(00:28):
feelings and they're all crappy. People have been lying to
my face about some stuff, and I'm reaching my limit.
Usually I just let people vent and say what they
want to, but I've argued back a little and I
got then I got called a gas.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Lighter on numerous occasions.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Oh jeez, I hate that term gaslighting. I think we're
done with that. I think it's the worst. Do you
want to talk about this? I mean, is it just
everyone in Unison is just beating the crap out of you?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
So no, I won't say everyone in Unison because I
think that's dramatic. It feels like that. It is not
like that. It's just a handful of people who I
thought or still think are fairly close to me, who
just have some crap to say. And I'm like, I
was very caught off guard by it. But you can't
argue people out of their feelings. So if somebody feels
that way, you gotta let them feel that way and
(01:13):
listen to what they have to say. But then there
were some accusations along the way of things that I
just hardcore disagree with, or the statement of the way
something happened and it did not happen like that, And
when you say it does not happen, you could call
it a gaslighter. I'm like, no, no, no, no, huh. I'm
not gaslighting you by saying that is not what happened.
If that's actually not what happened, right, you are gaslighting
(01:36):
me if you tell me that stating facts is not true, right,
step it just listen. It's been crazy, and I not lie.
My feelings have been hurt and I'm not used to
my feelings getting well.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Look, you know, we all agree that you are the
most caring, giving person in our family, and you're lovely
and you don't deserve that. And if someone wants to
have a conversation. As you're air quotes, friend, then please
do so, but do it in a respectful manner. Yes,
and excuse me, and be open to what you have
to say about what they're saying about you. Yes, it's
so easy to throw someone up on the cross and
(02:13):
crucify them without really thinking about what you're saying and
what you're doing. And you know that's that's not cool.
And I'm hoping, I'm hoping it's no one within this
close circle here.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
No, it's people you guys don't even know. But I've
been thinking about.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Well, I will tell you something from the oldest guy
in the room. This is where you start understanding why
you shed yourself in your life. You shed the people
that are dead skin. There are people that you thought
at one time they meant something to you, and maybe
they did. But when they start talking to you like
(02:49):
that and they don't leave open a hole for the
possibility that they're wrong what they're saying to you, and
they accuse you of gas lighting, okay, gas lighting, goodbye.
You know, but if they back you into a corner
where you know, sometimes you do need to defend yourself,
you're saying a second ago gandhi, I just let them
vent and let it go. Well, no, you know what,
you you owe it to yourself to defend yourself just
(03:12):
as we would defend you. Well, thank Daniel. Do you
agree what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
One hundred percent?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:17):
You know me, I'm not keep my mouth shut. I'm
not mean with something. I'm gonna go back.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
So that's my first instinct. My first instinct is to
come out swinging like what are you talking about? Oh,
you want to fight, let's fight. But then I'm trying
to be more mature and more of an adult about
things and just let people say the things that they feel,
air it out, sit with it for a moment before
I just, you know, blindly swing back. But then when
I sit with it, I'm like, still, no, no, I
(03:41):
still don't agree with you. Yeah, I've thought about this,
and I think everything that you said was a pile
of poppycock. And we can fight about this, but I don't.
I just I don't want to argue with people. I'm like,
oh that's how you feel about me?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Well, okay, you know arguing. Arguing can be different, different
shades of arguing, right, I mean, there's the defending yourself
respectfully or the like, shut up, really get f out
of here. Even know what I know, it's it's a
stupid meme you see all the time on Instagram. But
when someone says something that offends you, it's always good
(04:12):
to be as silent as you can, just like that.
Hear that, yes, And then you can look at me
in the eye and say, can you repeat what you
just said to me? And then have them repeat what
they just said, and sometimes that will make them go,
oh god, okay, maybe what I'm saying is stupid, And
(04:33):
sometimes it doesn't, you know, I don't know, but sometimes
silence is the most deafening defense.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
And then you just walk away, just turn and walk away,
and then they're left there going.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
But I had somebody, you remember, somebody used to work
for us. That's something to me one time and I said,
wait a second, I'm not sure I heard that properly.
Can you just run that by me one more time?
It runs one more time, I want to make sure
hear it. And they said it again and it was
exactly what I thought they said. And I said, okay, cool,
(05:05):
I'll get back to you right and.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Then ask them, hey, did you hear what you just said.
But then at that point, you know, it's it's a
back and forth thing, and maybe you don't want to
get into them.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I don't know, And I think I've really been trying
to pay attention to this too lately. Never take advice
or criticism from somebody who is not doing something with
their life that you would want to do. Yeah. So
if there's an idiot telling me that I'm an idiot,
do I care if I don't want to follow in
their footsteps of anything that they're doing. No, But sometimes
(05:34):
it still.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Thinks exactly, yeah, And that's that's friendship, and it's the disappointment.
I mean, you know what my dad always used to
tell me, You've got to lower your expectation of people.
Sometimes I'm like, well, I don't want to only that,
only surround yourself. Only surround yourself with those few people
who deserve you and as a friend. Yeah, And then
you know, I may sit here and tell you your
(05:56):
hair is red, and you you know for a fact
your hair isn't red. I see red, and so I'm
going to tell you what I see, whether it's right
or wrong, and it's it's it's good. It's good to
know when you got to like let people go. Yeah,
and it's okay.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I saw somebody posted this weekend, become more aware of
what's really worth your energy, and I kept it and
I keep going back to look at it. And it's
true that with everything, not just with you know, you
know stuff in general, but with people also.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
No, totally, I completely agree. And I will say having
my feelings hurt was a new phenomenon that I haven't
felt in a very long time.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
So I was like, ew, it's good. Your feelings are
hurt for a reason. You listen to listen to your heart.
You're you, You are hurting for a reason. That reason
is your answer.
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