Kat is feeling scattered and Amy is feeling thankful. While, can’t remember why exactly she feels that way, she does know that she hates the saying: “Wet my whistle.” The mention of “whistle” makes the conversation take an interesting turn. Amy is also fully convinced her Oura Ring is going to keep her single forever because her sleep score now matters more than going out. Kat recommends a new game called Play 9 that might be their new favorite thing. A comment made about Amy talking with her hands a lot on an IG live sparks a chat about policing our own thoughts. Plus a list of signs that a friendship feels like home and whether Amy and Kat's friendship checks all the boxes. And new research from Oxford shows most women have about five close friends and what happens to that number when a new relationship comes along.
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HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down. If you ever have feelings
that you just wont ay and cat got your cob
and locking no, brother, ladies and felts, do you just
follow an the spirit where it's on the front and
real stuff to the chill stuff.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
And m but Swayne. Sometimes the best thing you can
do it just.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Stop you feel things. This is feeling things with.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Amy and Kat.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Kat.
And my feeling of the day is thankful.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
My feeling of the day is scattered.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
And I'm gonna have you talk about your feeling first
because I'm so scattered.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
I don't remember why that was my feeling.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Oh, you just wrote it down.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I wrote it down earlier this morning, and that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
No, scattered, you lost, you lost the feeling lost scattered. Okay, Well,
all talk and you think, okay, but what I'm thankful
for has to do directly with you, so I want
you to hear my gratitude.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Ude.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Ok So, I texted you because I was looking for
a book. I started a book called The Names, and
I cannot get into it. However, this is a recommendation
from Kelsey, who's Mike D's wife. Mike De's on the
Bobby Bone Show, and his wife is an avid reader
and she has been batting a thousand when it comes
to book recommendations, like she does not miss she let
(01:21):
me borrow names, like she sent it with Mike, and
Mike just showed up. But I didn't even ask her.
He's just like, here's another book, and I was like,
oh my gosh, this is going to be good, and
I can't get into it. Let me tell you the premise.
So the storyline follows the life of this mom and child,
a whole family. There's a husband, a sister, and there's
(01:42):
three different name options for this kid. And there's every
like there's every chapter. I don't know bulk of the book.
I don't know this style of writing. I don't know
how to part every party's part like part bulk. I
(02:04):
didn't know how to yes a part. Yeah, maybe I'm scattered,
you know, each bulk, each section, it would be like
circling three different names. So it would be like a
chapter in that part would be if we named the
baby this, this is what would have happened in life,
(02:25):
right the whole I know you're with child and you're
probably thinking of baby names. And then the second chapter
in the first bulk would be okay, and this is
the trajectory of our life since we named the baby this.
And then there's a third name option, but it takes
you through all three names, like from birth. And then
(02:47):
the next part is like age eight, and the next
part is age so it goes all the way.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Do you remember the names?
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Ali made it to part two? Yeah, Bear, Jillian and
Gordon or some thing.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Is it a girl or a boy?
Speaker 4 (03:01):
It's a boy?
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Is it Gillian?
Speaker 4 (03:03):
No, Jillian, but a Jay. I think Julian.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Julian Okay, the girl, right.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
Yeah, Julian Julian okay. Yeah, so those just from the dome.
I only read the first part in a little bit
of the second part, and then I what didn't you?
Then I texted you and I said, I need a book.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
But what it just wasn't interesting to you.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
I just couldn't get into it.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Okay, it's a crazy book.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
It is interesting. I just maybe I wasn't in the
right headspace for it. I know with every bone in
my body it's got to be a good book because
Kelsey recommended it. I'm telling you. The girl does not
go wrong. So I just think I needed to set
that one aside and devour the book you sent, which
(03:53):
you were like, hey, you should read the Housemaids books
like and I thought it was a typo, like oh,
because I thought there was just one book. Well then
I look it up and it is a three book
in books just kidding, I know, and it's called a series,
a trilogy. Yeah, and the movie that came out a
(04:16):
few months ago, that's book number one. So I assume
they're going to make movies on book two and three,
do you know?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I don't know. I'd hope so that the movie was
very good.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
And I also feel like it's very hard to make
movies that are like almost identical to the book.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
They only changed from what I remember.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
One little thing, and it was because because a movie
has to be shorter, it wouldn't have worked if they
didn't change it.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Okay, I'm curious to watch the movie. I mean, I'm
already done with the book because I ordered it. I've
saved a lot of money thanks to Kelsey because she
keeps giving me books to read, which is awesome, and
then I have some credits with Audible, and so I
just justify like, Okay, I'm gonna order the paperback for
nine to ninety nine, and then I'm also going to
order the audible for ninety nine and that helps with
(05:04):
my especially with my dyslexia and my goal of reading
this year. Like it's just a really the immersion reading
is so great for me, whether I listen while I'm reading,
or I listen while I'm walking or doing laundry and housework,
which that's what happened to me this weekend. I could
not stop listening, and then I was bummed. I even
ordered the book to read because I the physical part
of the book that I read was like I don't
(05:25):
know a few chapters because I listened to the entire
thing and that's how I got through it so quickly.
But I didn't have a lot of downtime. Like Stevenson
had a track meet. I wish i'd have taken the
book with me to the track meat, but I didn't.
But that's okay because I had it on Audible and
I listened. But I could have gone into like the
bleacher area and sat down and read, because that's I
(05:46):
want to exercise my brain with the reading, and I
know that listening I still can use my imagination. I'm
still exercising my brain in a different way, but I
really want my eyes on the page. So I'm trying
to have a help the balance. But with What's the
Housemaid Book number one?
Speaker 3 (06:06):
So good, so good.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
It's so that it's good because it's an interesting story
and it's like keeps you on your toes and you
just want to read the next chapter.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
But it's an easy read.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
And that's what I really liked about it is that
like you can read it really like you just fly
through it, which is different.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
I had no idea. Well, even though the movie came out,
I was shocked to it. Yeah, I was just like
there were twists and turns where I was like, oh, oh, okay,
oh So I am very excited to see where the
second book goes, Housemaid Secrets, I think, I think, so
I'm starting that, but now I get to watch the movie.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
So thank you.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
I'm thankful for your recommendation, and I am thankful for
Kelsey's recommendations. I just need to circle back on The Names,
which is the name of the book. Yeah, the book
the Names.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
At a later date, I was going to say the
book you recommended to me is was not so much
of an easy read THEO of Golden. I'm not out
on this book. I think I just needed a different
I took it to the beach, and at the beach,
I feel like you need like just an easy peasy
where like a million things going to be going on
and you could just be like reading this book.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
You needed Emily Henry, Yes that's literal beach read.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Yeah, calm, but this book, I'm I'm almost think I'm
a hundred pages in now. When I text you last time,
I was thinking I was three pages in.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Yes, you're like, I'm at the beach. I've read three pages.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
It takes a second to get into it, which is
there's other books that I like that of, like Winter Garden.
It takes a second to get into that one too,
and I love that book. So I didn't give up
on it. It just this is just word to the wise.
Although I did see a more elderly woman on the
beach reading THEA of Golden, So so what.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Other people are reading it on the beach.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
A lot of people are reading it. It's a very popular.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
And also when I posted that picture of it, I
wasn't saying like it's an elderly book, but I don't know.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Why I needed to.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
Just the main character is elderly. Yeah, I think that's fine.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
But it was kind of cute because she was sitting
over there on her chair reading THEO of Golden, and
I was like sitting there holding the book pretending I
was reading it too.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
So you're like, oh, I love this.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
We're the same.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
I love this THEO guy. Later you're like, THEO am
I right.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Also, it took me a second to understand. I don't
know if there was supposed to be like this or
I was just distracted. I didn't understand what Golden was
for like a couple pages. I think that's what threw me.
I was like, what is golden? And why can't we
just figure that out? But I didn't even so I
didn't know anything about what the book was about for
I opened it. Anyway, I did also get when I
(08:44):
posted that picture of the book, so many people messaged
me and said, this is one of my favorite books.
So I just want you guys to know I'm keeping
with it.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
You're not going to give up.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
It just wasn't as easy peasy, and maybe I've become
a lazy read.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Yeah, it's he has a sophistication about him.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah, the writer does too. I texted you and I
was like, maybe I'm not suparted.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
And that's the writer's debut novel.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
No way. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Lucky Duck. Yeah, he
really struck gold with that.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Well he's talent. Yeah, talented.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Well, a lot of writers are talented and they don't.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
That's true, and their dub book is huge catch fire
like that one.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Unless you like, how do you, especially in this age
of everybody's writing a book and a lot of celebrities
write books now and those books go straight to the
New York Times Bestsellers list? How do you become just
a best selling author who comes from.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
You get a literary agent, imagine, and then they work
it and then you're with a publisher and the maid Yeah,
and then some people just buy their own books and
it hits the list. They're like, oh, well that's what
I've heard. I don't know that. I don't know for sure.
I haven't heard that directly from somebody, but you here
of like, oh this first, and they maybe in one
(10:03):
of my books, maybe in one of my Emily Henry books,
or where there's authors they talk about.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Doing that, Like, that's like, I mean, I guess if
you have the money, it's kind of smart, but it's
kind of cheating the system exactly.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
So why are you feeling scattered? Did you think of it? No?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
I literally have no idea. Maybe because I just got.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Well that tracks. I love that you're feeling matches right now. Yeah,
where you are right now, it's still it's scattered scattered.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Yeah, maybe because I just got home last night and
I haven't like collected my bearings.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
You know, well before we started recording, because you just
said collected my bearings, you said, do you know what saying?
I really can't stand your Well.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
I almost said it.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I just decided in this five minutes ago that I
hated the staying because I said it.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
And I was like, oh, don't say that.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I just decided in this five minutes ago that I
hated the sting because I said it. And I was like, oh,
don't say that. Well, I was thirsty, and I was like,
I got it. I need to wet my whistle, my whistle,
I need to wet my whistles. So I wanted to
say I did not say that, as I said that
in my brain you know sometimes I think before I speak.
Most of the time I don't. And I was like, oh,
(11:22):
don't say that, doesn't I don't like it. Wet my whistle? Yeah,
that sounds like anyway if that if you love that saying,
keep saying it. It's just not for me.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
I don't know who says that, like maybe my grandma. Yeah,
I gotta wet my whistle because also is it sounding
dirty to me?
Speaker 3 (11:46):
That's what it was sounding to me.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Yeah, maybe because it's that song that's like, isn't there
a song that's.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Like, whistle baby, whistle baby? Let me like a.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
What whistle?
Speaker 3 (11:58):
But isn't that one that is about?
Speaker 4 (12:00):
I don't know what that. I don't know what that is.
Have you watched Beef on Netflix.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
The first season?
Speaker 4 (12:07):
I haven't watched okay one, Well season two is out
and they show the whistle.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Well of wait, they show frontal, they do that. They
did that in Righteous Gemstones a lot in the last season.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
Yeah, I'm just like, when did we start showing waitnn's whistles?
Speaker 3 (12:23):
What what?
Speaker 5 (12:25):
What?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
What channel is that on Netflix?
Speaker 4 (12:27):
That's nuts, right because kids could just easily see the whistle,
see the whistle like it's no problem used to have
to pay for, like skin Amax, skin a Max, Well,
it was Cinemax, but we called it skin a Max
because of because you could see skin.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I thought that was more like an HBO thing.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
No, it's on Netflix, Yeah, because Game of Thrones. Bobby said,
they show.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
What was the stuff there?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
The new Game of Not it's like the prequel to
Game of something. Patrick was watching that in like the
first episodes or something. It's a big old whistle.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
I like how that we've nicknamed it a whistle. I've
never heard anybody call it a whistle, but hopefully people
are tracking with what we're talking about.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
I think it makes sense.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Yeah, like whistle.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Cry outcats, Like, I'm going to start using that every day.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
I've got my aura ring here. And I don't know
why a whistle made me just think of the story.
But maybe it's because I don't know that I'll ever
be with a whistle again, because because all I care
about now is my sleep. Oh my gosh, I don't
want to go out because I have to get a
crown on my sleep score. Because you can get your
(13:45):
readiness score, your sleep score, and your want a movement score,
and sometimes I get optimal, Like last night, I got optimal.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Can you not have optimal sleep?
Speaker 4 (13:57):
No?
Speaker 3 (13:57):
With them?
Speaker 4 (13:58):
No, lately I've been getting good, but I I don't
want to get bad.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Well, what if you are with a partner that you
feel very safe and connected with and you get really
good sleep because you're well, that.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Would be right, But that would mean I wouldn't be
and I wouldn't be. My ring says, time to get
ready for bed, and I'm like, oh, time to get
ready for bed. And I go and I wash my
face and I get ready for bed because I have
to prepare my body for sleep so I can get
good sleep. So I'm just saying I'm not gonna my
ring is going to keep me single because now I
(14:30):
care about sleep a lot.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
How do we hide your ring? No?
Speaker 4 (14:35):
No, I want good sleep. I mean maybe I could
meet somebody during the daytime.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Yeah, I think this will be This will become a
problem when you're wanting to like, you know, stay up
a little later and like hang you know, when you
have like the new relationship feeling and like you do
you do this and you forego like all of your
because it's exciting, Like oh yeah, that's when you're gonna have.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
To make a decision.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
But I think right now you have plenty of time
outside of your getting ready for bedtime, in your sleep
time to meet somebody.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
I think, okay, well we'll see TVD. I just had
this thought about how it just feels so good and
sleep is so important, but so is having fun. But
I'm like, I can have fun during the day. I
don't know, I'm really enjoying the sleep.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Are there other parts of that ring that you are liking.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
I'm tracking my cycle, which is great. How do you
I enter it in? I log it in, so it's
just more of in the app, and my ring will
get to know me. But I need to have it
for longer to where it'll feel my temperature and know
my cycle's coming. But here's the thing, you know, I've
I've got my testosterone pellet in, I got my iron IV,
I'm on my vitamin D and my ovaries. You know,
(15:51):
each cycle it goes right overy, then left, and then
right and then left, like when you're having your period.
It's this side and then the next month is the
other side.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
For at one point I knew that, and you just
reminded me.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
I forgot that, Okay, now I'm second guessing myself. Now
in my mind, that's how my body works, if that
sounds right, like ninety nine percent sure, So my I
don't know which one it is, but my right one
I just had not that long ago. And then a
week goes by and my left one goes into action.
But then between my left one extra back to my
(16:25):
right one will give me like more of a normal
twenty eight day cycle. But when I go, I'm on
the one where and I never noticed it fully that
it was just a week apart, but because I entered
because of my ring, now I'm tracking things. And I
entered it in and I was looking at the islendor,
I'm like, I'll be dang, that is one week from
(16:46):
the stop to the start.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Does the ring say like, oh, something's up?
Speaker 4 (16:50):
No, because I have to enter. No, it just takes
your information. It just knows. But now I know. And
when I go, I have a follow up appointment at
my gynecologist on May seventh for blood work to see
where I am with all my levels. She's gonna be
proud of me for tracking, because I always feel like
I'm gonna remember. I'm like, I don't need a track,
that's annoying. And then I'm like, shoot, was that a
Tuesday or was it a Wednesday? And was that even
(17:12):
last week? And when was it? Has it been two weeks?
And now I know I have the proof thanks to
the app. I'm entering it and we'll see. And now
Shannon's updating us on the ovaries, and she said, well,
it's not necessarily the case. While it's common belief that
ovaries alternate every other month, the process is not a
strict perfect rotation. One ovary can release an egg for
(17:35):
several months in a row, or the right ovary may
ovulate more frequently than the left, the dominant ovary. Many
people have one that is dominant. Okay, well, I wonder
how they choose when it's doing one week in between,
I think the other one is kicking in because I
don't think the other one would turn yeah, the other
one would be like the other one might be saying
(17:56):
the the other one, dude, I just did it like
a week ago. You're good. And then it's like no,
I'm ready, and.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
It goes that's just annoying.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
I'm sorry, it's okay to all of our men listening,
I am sorry. I didn't even mean to talk about that.
Will you ask what I like more about my ring?
If I like other things about my ring, And it's
really what I can enter into the app and information
I'm learning about myself.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Yeah, I have something for the men, okay, what this
is for the woman and the mema. I just think
everybody can benefit from this. I just have to throw
this recommendation out because I have found a new game
that I'm obsessed with and you can play with two people,
and it's a golf game, but it's not really about golf.
So if your partner or your friend or whoever loves
(18:40):
golf and you love playing games, you can trick them
into saying, hey, I have this golf game, and then
they'll play it with you. Okay, it's called play nine
is a card game. I actually think this is a
game you could play with normal cards.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
So I was picturing we were on a golf course.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
No, no, so sorry, sorry.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
This is a card game, okay, And you can play
with two people, and you can play it anywhere, like
we brought it to the beach. We didn't play on
the beach because of the wind, but like the airport
in the house when it was raining and all that
it's so fun. I don't think it I need to
explain the rules of the game because that's boring. But
look it up, especially if you want a game that
you can play with just two people or you can
play with six people.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Okay, okay, I have a little bit of sports inforation.
The game is called play nine, so it's like nine holes.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
But that's that's the golf part.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yes, and the cards have like golf pictures on them,
but it's not It has nothing to do with golf.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
You don't have to know anything about golf. Also, I
have some sports knowledge. Do you watch any you don't
watch any golf? Did you watch Full Swing?
Speaker 4 (19:44):
Yeah? I did?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Okay. Do you remember Matt Fitzpatrick, Yes, okay.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Do you know that he has a brother that was
on the European Golf so he's not on the PGA Tour,
the main tour Okay, I don't know, okay, because his
brother was on Full Swing too, so they just played
a tournament. I think this is so this tier. I
teared up when I saw this. They just played it
in a tournament. Matt Fitzpatrick is a professional golfer. His
(20:08):
brother's like I guess you would count him as like
semi pro.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
You can.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
There's this tournament once a year that a professional golfer
can pick anybody. They could pick you to play in
this tournament with them. If you win the tournament, you
now get to be on the PGA Tour.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Oh wow, they won.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
Oh they won.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
So Matt Fitzpatrick got his I mean his brother obviously
had to play well too, but like by inviting him
to play with him, he got his brother on the
PGA Tour for two years.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
That's sweet. We were playing play nine while we were
watching that happen.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Oh so little reck and little info for all of
our male listeners. Yes they good, some overy talk, some
golf talk, balance it out.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
I do have a question for you as a therapist,
but also as my friend. Okay, okay, because this is
something that happened. No, it's not a trick, but I'm
sure you're gonna be like, and there's no truth to
this at all whatsoever. But it's sort of ridiculous. Like
we were doing a Instagram live on The Bobby Bone
Show and the other day and Shannon happened to be
watching like it pops up on Instagram, so she clicked
(21:12):
on and she was watching and I was telling a
story and I was using my hands while I was talking,
and she saw comments that came through, so she grabbed them. Okay, Sue.
Sue says, who I don't know, I don't I don't
have to read the handles, but that's the handle wrote,
what's with Amy's constant hand movements? I've heard it's a
sign of eating disorders? And then kr R seven to
(21:35):
two replied what a lot of people talk with their hands,
and then Suzzu who or whatever said not anyone I know.
And so I was like, why would someone just say
that does talking with your hands have anything to do
with the eating disorders? Being that you're a therapist that
specializes in disordered eating and eating.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Disorders, I can say very confidently I have never in
my fifteen years of working in this field.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
I would also like to say, you were explaining this, well,
I'll talk about my hands.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Have I heard there there to be a correlation between
hand talking and eating disorders?
Speaker 4 (22:14):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
There could be a correlation because a lot of people
talk with their hands, but there's no call, like, there's
no cause and effect.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
They're not actually connected, no cause, but you could you
could have.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
You could have an eating disorder and also talk with
your hands, but you can talk with your hands and
not have an eating disorder.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
I'm glad we cleared that up.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
But besides that, so that is like almost like so absurd.
It's like one of those things that's like who cares.
But at the same time, why would you say that?
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Exactly? I don't know. That's why she hadn't thought it
was funny and she pulled the comment, and I was like, oh, haha,
I'm gonna ask Cat because she's therapist specializes in this,
and I thought you might know, because what if you're like, oh, interesting,
so crazy you're saying that. There was a study out
of Harvard that said, well maybe I'm there's I don't
think so, Cat like they just think and when you're like,
why would they type that? I saw this one girl
(23:01):
do a real it was in my for you. So
I don't know who she is. I'd love to give
her credit. I don't know. It was just I was scrolling,
but she was like, hey, okay, let's talk about this.
Like she's looking at the camera talking to people. She's like,
I'm talking to you. If you are gonna type something,
make sure you would say it to someone's face. If
you're not able to say it to their face. No
(23:24):
TYPEE like no type no said to face. If you
can say to face, then you can type. But most
of the time you're not going to say to someone's
face all the horrible things that people type, Like when
people I guess someone maybe had called out her crow's
feet or something. She's like, So if you wouldn't walk
up to some random person at the grocery store and
(23:45):
be like, oh, your crows feet, then like, why type
that to a random woman on the internet?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Right? Exactly?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Beautiful video and beautiful message message. And I was gonna say,
beautiful recreation of said video by you.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
I could give her credit. It was like at joy something. Shoot,
I don't.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
You've seen it.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
I don't follow this person.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
But but what is interesting about this is I'm assuming
this person really has not heard this.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Maybe they're just saying because I've had a neating disorder
and I use my hands a lot, they're just being mean.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
That's what I'm getting, Okay, because then why wouldn't you say, like,
I give more information or something if you're gonna put
that on there.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Also, besides all of that.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
What's the point that's with like a lot of these comments,
like you're saying like they're crozy. My question to a
lot of that stuff is like, what is the point
of that? Like, if somebody was concerned about you, I'm
feeling them protective of you.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I'm sorry. This is not therapist cat. This is friend cat.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
It's something which is good because up next, I have
signs of a safe friendship. Okay, I'm feeling safe right now.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Okay, good.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
If I was concerned, whether I knew you were not,
I probably would not leave a comment on a public
forum like that. I would either met if I didn't
know you and I was really concerned and feel like
I needed to say something, I would message a DM you,
and if I, as your friend, was concerned, I would
talk to you in person. But if I was really
concerned about oh no, like how she relapsed or something,
(25:16):
I wouldn't put it there when that's just going to
cause negative attention.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Well, probably maybe they wanted the attention, like the rage
bait thing people do. Yeah, that's probably, and we just
gave it to them. I'm glad I didn't really enunciate
what the actual handle was I just said, saysuz.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Oh, we did give the rage bait, but.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
I didn't say I was always saying it right, their
handle isn't even.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
The other thing is with the like when people are
just making comments about people's appearance, like the crow's feet.
That's also we all have thoughts, and this is where
I can, like, really I can not empathize but understand
somebody having a thought about what somebody looks like. Right,
that's what we do as humans. We look at people
and we automatically make judgments. Most of those thoughts stay
(25:59):
in my head because why would I say? It's almost
like that acronym that Sissy Goff taught us. Wait, why
am I talking?
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Like? Why am I saying this?
Speaker 1 (26:08):
What would this do? What would this bring? What's the point?
So it's not bad to have a thought? You can't
help your thoughts?
Speaker 4 (26:16):
Waste?
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Wait? What is that?
Speaker 4 (26:18):
Why am I saying this?
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Yes, it's okay, waste.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
We didn't even start using that because it's not bad
to have a thought. We can't help our thoughts, but
we are responsible with what we do with those thoughts,
and we need to. You know, what's it called when
you're like policing? We need to police our own thoughts,
and I think sometimes.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
We just don't. Some people don't care.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Some people don't care, and maybe they maybe there Why
am I saying this is that I want to hurt somebody,
or if it makes me feel good to say something
mean about you or whatever. But I don't think I'm
better than anybody in the sunset. Like I have negative
thoughts about people too. I just choose wisely what to
do it with them. And I'm sure people like, yeah,
people probably have negative thoughts about me all the time.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
You can have them all you want. I just don't
need to know.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
Yeah, oh, thank you for that.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
You just got me all feeling hot.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Got you in your feelings, Okay, cry okat just said that.
I guess one time on the Bobby Bone Show, I
had a story about how honest people talk with their hands.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
So yeah, so that means that doesn't necessarily mean you
have an eating disorder, but it might mean that you're honest.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
I mean maybe I don't know.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
We need study is either.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
I mean, I'm sure at that when I was sharing that,
I had a study that I was talking about. But
some people talk with their hands, some people don't. Some
people use filler words. Some people don't. I want to
be someone that maybe uses their hands a little less
because I think it's a comfort thing for me and
I want to use less filler words.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
That's interesting. The filler words I understand and same. I
feel like when people talk with their hands, it adds
and it makes them appear more confident a lot of times.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
Okay, Like sometimes I feel like mine are flailing about.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Well, show me what you do well.
Speaker 4 (28:17):
I mean if I'm like I think if you do
things like giving up, like, it's good to have a visual.
Like if I'm going to say, I'm going to share
with you ten signs that you are in a safe friendship, right,
Like seeing the ten is good at least I think
research shows that four. I'm going to give you four.
(28:38):
Like we like seeing that visual with what we're talking about.
But sometimes I'm just like all about like hitting things.
One time I was talking with my hands so much
I ripped my earring out and it ripped all the
way through, and that's when I had to have my
ear sewn back together.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Did you rip that off?
Speaker 4 (28:54):
Yeah? Because my no. I was at my son's birthday
party and I was talking talking to somebody and I
was talking with my hands and my finger got caught
in the earring and my earring hole was already hanging
on by a thread, obviously, but it ripped all the
way through and my earring landed on the sidewalk but
it was still intact, and I'm like, well, how did
that happen? And then I put my hand in my
(29:16):
ear and it was bleeding and I was like, oh,
my ear ripped. And then I had to have a
plastic surgeon like sew it back together. And just that's
because I was talking by hands too much, so, you know,
flailing about. But I do want to get to the
okay signs. Your friendship feels like home. I saw this
at medium dot com and feels like home is aka safe. Okay,
(29:38):
okay the signs, So are you ready?
Speaker 3 (29:40):
I'm ready.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
You can be full of yourself without editing who you are.
It's a sign you're in that makes sense, a friendship
that feels like home. I feel, let's do it for
each other.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
I don't know, it's okay, we don't.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
If we don't, I don't feel like I have to edit.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Okay, Well I don't feel that either, but okay, because
I feel like, this is a dangerous game.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
We're getting vulnerable if you don't overthink texts or replay
conversations afterwards. I do that sometimes.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
I was gonna say, you do that a lot, but
that's just you as a person, right, Okay, Yeah, you don't.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
You don't do that. You don't do that to me.
You don't replay our conversations.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
I'm just kidding you know what I do?
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Because last week I feel like there was something. I
don't remember what was, but I do remember last week
being like, was I rude? But I didn't say anything
to you. You'll actually like text me and be like
sorry I was this way, and I'd be like, what
are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Okay? Silence feels comfortable, not awkward.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
I can be silent around you.
Speaker 5 (30:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Same.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
You feel supported even when you're not at your best.
Yeah yeah, check. They celebrate you without making it about them.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Yeah check. You're really good at that, because I think
that you are. Do you mind me sharing well, I
don't know what you're say.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Well, I feel like you are hyper vigilant to that
because even earlier today when we were talking on the
phone and I like randomly said this, I told you
I was coming home from the doctor and I learned
this thing about my placenta, and it was just kind
of flippant, and then you said something about yourself and
then you said, oh, but I don't you like came
(31:22):
back and made sure you're like, I want you to
know that I want to hear more about that.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
If you want to talk about it.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
Yeah, you do that a lot well, because I didn't
want to disc like you were acting like, yeah, it's fine,
it's not that big of a deal. But then I
didn't see how you're really feeling about it, because it
could be it's not as it's not something bad like
you're you're bought, you're not, it's not going to harm
you or you were the baby, but it's still.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
It's it could be disappointing for people.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Yes, I'll share what it is so people don't think
we're talking code. I had a doctor's pointment today and
they think this isn't confirmed, so I can't say for sure,
but the way that they were hearing the heartbeat sounded
like I have an anterior placenta, which just means my
placentas in the front, which is she said, only thirty
percent of.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
What nothing I'm just thinking of are you making this
about you?
Speaker 4 (32:10):
Wait?
Speaker 3 (32:10):
Wait, no, I'm sharing a really vulnerable okay, I even laughing.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
Oh weirdy Okay, sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
When I when I met the information, I'm adding levity, okay,
not to make it about me, but I was thinking
about your placenta.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
And eating it.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
No, keep going. I don't even know if like I
could say what I was thinking?
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Was it dirty? Dirty? Is it that a whistle? Yep?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Well, are you thinking that the whistles going to hit
the placenta?
Speaker 3 (32:49):
I think that's the thing. Okay, I don't think that's
the thing that would have to go really.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
Okay, okay, okay, okay, we don't have to get to
about a crazy whistle. Oh okay, but Patrick obviously.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
Has Shannon just said shut up. Shan said she's not
looking this back up.
Speaker 4 (33:09):
That's like, have you seen those like have you seen
those videos where there's like a scratch on like the
wife's back or the husband's bag. It's like a scratch
and it's like, you know, six inches long or whatever,
and the like the wife will be like, oh my gosh,
this scratch is huge, and then the husbands are like, yeah,
(33:34):
six inches is.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
That's not on my fore page. They're funny. They're so
funny because.
Speaker 4 (33:43):
Like as a scratch, you're like, oh my gosh, this
scratch is so big, and then.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
The guys are like, so big.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Yeah, Okay, well, I don't think that's I haven't had
that issue, and I have not been afraid of that
until now.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
Okay, we finished the thing. I interrupted with my aready
thought yeah or inappropriate thought it wasn't dirty.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
At least, that wasn't you making about you. It's just
you being a little bit.
Speaker 4 (34:07):
I was serious.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
They didn't tell me that. I don't think that's the thing.
But I could also be wrong because I'm new at
this interior percenta thing, and it might not even I'm
not confirmed.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
They just think that based.
Speaker 4 (34:20):
On how I can sound it a possibility.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
But all it means really is and I think I
was saying it's only thirty percent of people have this.
All it means is it's going to take longer for
me to feel the baby, which actually makes me feel
better because I haven't felt her that I know of.
I guess some things could be her, but I just
don't realize it. And because of the way the placenta
is you don't feel it as it takes longer for
(34:44):
you to feel the baby's movement. Gotcha, So instead of
like sixteen to twenty weeks, it's more probably like twenty
to twenty four weeks.
Speaker 4 (34:50):
Right, And that's why I want to just sort of
second how you are feeling, like, oh, because a lot
of people look forward to feeling their baby. Yeah kick,
So okay, way back to them, it feels like home.
This friendship, they celebrate you without making about them. Uh,
you don't feel like you're quote too much or quote
(35:13):
not enough.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
I don't experience that.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
I don't either. You didn't answer, okay, sorry, They speak
about you with respect even when you're not there.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Well, I don't know, but I hope so, yeah I do.
Speaker 4 (35:31):
Looking in the eyes, I do you feel calm after
seeing them not drained?
Speaker 3 (35:37):
M hm?
Speaker 4 (35:38):
Yeah. You don't have to earn your place, it's already yours.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Yeah, but you kind of have to earn it in
the beginning. Yeah, but then we got it. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:48):
Okay, So those are signs your friendship feels like home.
I don't know that you have to have. If you
don't have every single one of those, it's not like, oh.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
I got to get rid of my friend toxic friendship
at all, because yeah, I think that it's just a
list of.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
Like healthy kids, healthy sign qualities to having a friendship. Yes, yes,
we're speaking of friendships. I saw another article, this one
is I can give you the It's from Oxford University.
Researchers on average say that most women have a core
group of around five friends. However, when a woman gets
(36:22):
into a new relationship with a partner, they typically lose
two of those friends. You don't know why, because they
have less time. Shocker, someone gets jealous, You simply drift
away from your former single life, which I feel like
(36:43):
all of those makes sense, but I'm like, dang to
drop off?
Speaker 3 (36:47):
That makes sense to me.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
I think I think it depends on like the grouping
of your friends, because I've experienced that.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Actually asked Patrick last night.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
We were eating dinner, and I said, what are I'm
asking you a bunch of different random questions, but one
of the ones I asked was what is one friend
that you've lost touch with that you wish that you
could reconnect with? And we both were talking both people
that we said the reason that we lost as close
of a connection we would still consider them friends is
because our life stage is different. So whether they had
(37:17):
kids or whether it was because we got married or
something like, things just tend to change depending on how
those friendships are structured.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Before, you know. But it's not necessarily bad. I don't
think that's always bad.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Like my friends who have had kids and then their
life has shifted and we're not as close. I'm not
over there being like they've ditched me. It's just like, well,
their life is different. We can't be the same. We
can't do the same things that we used to do.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
Yeah, it's evolved, so it.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Just that there's some grief in that.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
But also I don't there's not like resentment, right that
I feel in my relationships.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Five friends was shocking.
Speaker 4 (37:53):
Though, Five friends? Like you have five? Five friends?
Speaker 3 (37:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (37:58):
How many do you have?
Speaker 1 (37:59):
I thought it was I thought the number. I think
I would want to know, like what kind of friends?
Because I have more than five friends. But I don't
know that I have.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
How many bridesmaids? Did you have?
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Nine? But three of them were my family?
Speaker 4 (38:14):
Okay, so that's about six, so.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
You're right, that's about that is sex that is nine
three Actually that's actually six.
Speaker 4 (38:28):
Okay, so so that and that's close to five. Six
is right after five? Yeah, just about.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
But some of those friends like, well.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
I was one of them, so then then there's five.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Why aren't you one of the Well, I don't.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Feel those the other friends, Like I don't feel like
I'm part of that group like I would. That makes sense, Yeah,
like I am in.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
But one was a college friend, which like, I don't
talk to her well, like text more than we talk
on the phone. She lives in a different she lives
far away, and she has three kids. She brought her
like three month old baby to the wedding. You remember,
she was a good friend for doing that. So I
would still consider her one of my best friends. But
we don't talk that often, right But yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
Like I talked to my best room from high school
on Saturday for like thirty minutes. We did a catch up,
like while I was waiting around at the track mate,
and I don't chalk to like, I'm gonna see her
this weekend in Austin because she lives in Austin and
she every year she comes to our iHeart Country festival.
So I see her there and we'll text and we talk,
but it doesn't matter, like she's been my best friend
(39:36):
since high school, will always be there for each other
and we could go months, honestly, So.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
I would wonder if this study is more like, do
you lose the friends or to the friendship? Friendships change?
Speaker 4 (39:49):
Yeah, I don't know, We'll have to look it up.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
I wouldn't consider that friendship lost and you're like, your
friendship isn't Yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
No, she's still. That didn't change, like that was me
moving like it was other. It wasn't because I got
into a relationship.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Do you feel like you lost friends when you were
dating Alex?
Speaker 4 (40:04):
I feel like I saw my friends less.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Well yes, yes, but you didn't lose them.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
No, I didn't lose them, but I mean I maybe
could have. They probably. I think that distance was created
just because we naturally did more of his life. Yeah,
because I have my kids fifty percent of the time.
He has his kids one hundred percent of the time,
and they're very active, so we naturally every weekend it
was like his stuff because the kids always had things
(40:31):
going on, and if they didn't, we need to be
close by where they were. So we just ended up
and hit his neck of the woods more and I
put some of that on me, Like I should have
been like, hey, let's go do this with some of
my friends, but I just was. I don't know, I
just was defaulting. It became a default to like okay,
well you know, yeah, I know. I was also low testosterone. No,
(40:53):
I like, I didn't have the energy.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
I would wonder, like, because you audated for around a
year and a half, So I wonder if that relationship
would have lasted longer, if things would have evened out
even with your friends, because in the beginning I.
Speaker 4 (41:06):
Would have had to have made sure we made a
concerted effort to do that, but he.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
Naturally would have happened.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
I think what I'm trying to say is in the
beginning of relationships, in the beginning of relationship can still
be a year and a half in that's still like
newsh You're more like these is gonna sound bad, but
like you're more excited, and you're more apt to like
want to like forego things to go spend time with
this new person in your life.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
Right, naturally, that starts to drop off.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
And then I think not that you'd be like, Okay,
I'll hang on my friends again now, but like naturally,
I think you would start feeling that again. Yeah, you know,
so I don't want you to feel. You can feel
however you want, but I don't think in the beginning
of relationships. I have a lot of grace for people
in the beginning of relationships because like that, you just
that's what happens, Like you want to spend all your
(41:52):
time with this person.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
Yeah, and so you get it, like you get it.
I know. I think just some of my relationships, I
would spend a lot of time with people, like even
cry okay or clar, like we would walk a lot
more and then but I would also then I'd started
walking with him, so then he became my walking body.
So then if I don't have a you know, it
just was I don't know, I realized it anyway.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
It's like I've done with this.
Speaker 4 (42:19):
Okay, we do have a voicemail that has to do
with you, Cat that I would love for people to
hear because it's an interesting perspective. Okay, we do have
a voicemail that has to do with you, Cat that
(42:41):
I would love for people to hear because it's an
interesting perspective. You had shared how your true honest feelings
about your pregnancy.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
The first trimester, body body image.
Speaker 4 (42:54):
Body image stuff, and so we got a voicemail that's
a different So you had but a very important message.
I get, well, I don't know that it's different. She
was still feeling, but it's like her body wasn't changing
that much.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
It was a perspective, I think, a different perspective.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
That's the word. So we'll go ahead and play that.
This is from McKenna.
Speaker 5 (43:15):
Hi am spare. My name's McKenna. I was just listening
to the episode about pregnancy and bodies, like the segment
on that, and I had a really interesting experience in
the other direction where I'm not like a small person
by any means. And during pregnancy I had HG which
makes you throw up and you're really nauseous all the time.
And so throughout the entire I was at pregnant for
(43:37):
forty one weeks. In three days, I was severely sick, vomiting, nausea,
pretty much couldn't eat a full meal, and I was
given confidence go lore for not gaining weight, and I
couldn't express people like what I would give to just
be able to eat a full meal. It just made
me really reckon with like how we are talking about
pregnant bodies and we should be talking about the middle
(44:00):
but how other people would comment on it, and people
would tell me it looked so good, and it was
almost jarring to know that I was so sick and
I was so you know, concerned that I couldn't eat
and give my baby the proper fuel, and I was
just reinforced over and over. So I just wanted to
like offer some encouragement that just because someone like looks
the specifically and their pregnant body does not mean that
(44:22):
they are like doing any better or worse than what
you're going through. And we just need to be able
to let our bodies do what they need to do,
because that's even in life. Thank you. Sorry, I just
wanted to ramble a little bit, but.
Speaker 4 (44:36):
I didn't think she was rambling.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
Now I didn't either.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
I think that is a perfect thank you for sharing
that and a perfect example of why we should not
comment on people's bodies.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Just again, but tell.
Speaker 4 (44:47):
Her, so, Okay, this is thoughts circling back to something
we were saying sort of at the beginning. Is like
people were obviously saying to this to her in person. Oh,
these were comments that were being said to her not.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Because people are thinking those are positive comments. Yes, so
I think that's a difference. But I think, yes, if
I'm having a thought maybe about somebody and they're pregnant
about their body, have it.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
You can't help that you're having the thought. It's natural.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
You don't have to share that with them because in
her case, like you don't know how what she was
going through and that, I mean, that sounds horrible to
be sick for that long, and the anxiety that I
might have about what she was saying, like being able
to give my baby nutrients, like that's not it's a
different side. It's a different experience than I'm having, But
it's not like a I wouldn't say it's a better one, right,
(45:35):
And so let's really be mindful of what thoughts we
let come.
Speaker 4 (45:39):
Out out of our mouths.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
And thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 4 (45:42):
And I'm sorry, like we were saying earlier, the checking yourself,
policing yourself?
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Why am I saying this?
Speaker 4 (45:49):
Why am I saying this? But like, what how can
we should we give people like count to five?
Speaker 3 (45:55):
Well, what was that.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Trick Brene Brown would do before she would she would
do this before answering a question? And important question. She
would twist her ring three times around her finger. Yeah,
let's implement that when we want to make a comment
about what somebody looks like, and hopefully most of the
time we will not exact comment.
Speaker 4 (46:12):
Is this a helpful comment? Is this is a helpful comment?
But in her case, like some people like you said,
they probably thought they were saying something helpful. But because
I don't know this person's exact scenario, I should keep
this comment to myself, keeps this comment to myself.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Well, I think that also sends the message, which like
this is I'm processing this now in real time, but
like it sends the message that like we as women
should our bodies shouldn't change as we're going through pregnancy, right,
And that if our bodies don't change as we're going
through pregnancy, that most of the time that could mean
something's wrong. And so why do we feel I think
(46:48):
there's obviously I could talk about why we feel this way,
but there's a lot of messaging, even in pregnancy that
says like smaller is better. I was more talking about
like I my body's changing, but like I don't look
pregnant yet, I've accepted that my body will change. I
want to look pregnant because I like feel like that's exciting.
But still it's like, yeah, we are sent the message
(47:10):
that our bodies should look a certain way through pregnancy,
but that that is not really what they're supposed to
look like. You know, that makes sense, And everybody's every
single body is different, So people could have healthy pregnancies
and not gain the same amount of weight as somebody else. Right,
it's all very relative. So let's just twist the ring
(47:32):
and waste and waste. But okay, I had to say this'
out waste. I had this thought. If you say, like,
why am I saying this, you might say, because it's
going to make her feel better.
Speaker 4 (47:42):
I know, So that's why I threw in the like,
you don't know someone's full scenario or our situation. So
is this is a helpful comment? Probably not.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
Yeah, we need to acramen for that.
Speaker 4 (47:51):
And even if if if you think it might be,
and you are ninety nine percent sure, just go ahead
and lean on that one percent that it's not. That's
why even with people like your coworkers, if they've lost
weight for some reason and you think, oh wow, they
probably would like to hear Hey man, you're working out hey,
or hey girl, you're working out like you're you're yeah,
(48:14):
you look so good? You have no idea? Is there depression?
Do they have cancer? Are they because it's work like,
they might not be sharing with coworkers what they have
going on us. Are they stressed? Yes?
Speaker 3 (48:25):
Are they?
Speaker 4 (48:26):
Do they have something going on at home? Like is
there something else going on with their body? Which they
where they haven't disclosed what's happening. And they're they're hoping
going to work like fingers crossed every day that nobody's
going to notice their situation and then you know, you
say something, or if it is eating disorder related, that's
where it can be dangerous because then it adds to
(48:47):
the celebration that sometimes gives fuel. It's adding fuel to
the fire.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
And think about like if somebody now she couldn't help
heer scenario right, but if you are, because people who
have eating disorders get pregnant, So if you also are
sharing that with somebody, if if take her scenario, but
you have an eating disorder versus she's sick. If I'm
sharing that of a good job, girl, you haven't gained
(49:12):
any baby weight. It looks so good. You're all belly,
like all those kind of comments that also could be
telling her eating disorder.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
You're doing a really good job. Keep it up, so
let's just twist the ring.
Speaker 4 (49:25):
Twist the ring.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
This should be the instead of asking all those questions,
it should just be like, I'm going to twist the
ring until I find something else to say that. Twist
the ring until you find something that has nothing to
do with what they look like.
Speaker 4 (49:38):
And if you can't find anything else to say, don't
like saying it. Be like, I like your shoes.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
Even if you hate them.
Speaker 4 (49:47):
Those shoes are so pretty. I'm not wearing any shoes. Oh,
all things.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (50:03):
Well, hopefully that voicemail I know, Kat, you're you sharing
your experience was so helpful. I know that voicemail will
be helpful to other people. And yeah, maybe just the
big takeaways. Let's just all pause before we speak, think
do anything. If anybody has read the names, hit me up.
(50:25):
I'm gonna give it a go eventually. But like, if
you've read it and you're like, power through, it gets
so much better. I could just use that little nudge
of encouragement.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
Because if I didn't have all the encouragement about theo
of Golden, I would have already put it down.
Speaker 3 (50:38):
Wow, so you need some encouragement.
Speaker 4 (50:39):
Yeah, I need some encouragement. Besides, I already know Kelsey's
Queen of reading, so I know it's gonna be good.
And I think it was like one of Jenna Bush's
Jenna's picks for the Today Show or she has like
a reading thing because it says it on the book.
Speaker 3 (50:55):
We didn't circle back to this. That is one of
the most stressful things I'm dealing with right now. What
the name?
Speaker 4 (51:03):
Oh, what to name?
Speaker 1 (51:04):
Your true chosen a name, but like we haven't chosen
a full name. But that confirms my feelings is that
like this name can change the trajectory.
Speaker 4 (51:13):
Are you and Patrick going to be in agreement on
the name? Yes, okay, that's fine. The part of this
book and this is early on, so I don't feel
like I'm spoiling anything. Is the the husband does not
agree with her name choice, so it impacts their relationship. Oh,
so it impacts how he treats her and the kid.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
And then okay, I was thinking, like their personality develops
differently based on what their name is.
Speaker 4 (51:43):
Well, I mean maybe a little bit. I haven't gotten
to other chapters or their parts or other bulks. I've
into gotten to that bulk of the book yet, but
if you've read the names, let me know because I
will take the encourageent And and also if you were
like I'm like you, I I could read a little bit.
I don't know if I want to hear.
Speaker 3 (52:02):
That because I because you want to read.
Speaker 4 (52:05):
It, because I want to read it. Yeah, this is
my year of reading and I really don't want to
give up on a book, you know, And I'm okay.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
To do that. I know people have different tastes.
Speaker 4 (52:15):
Yeah, Which, speaking of books, tomorrow, I'm doing a very
special bonus episode. This is something we haven't done before really,
but Matt Smallbone, who is a pastor here in Nashville.
He came on the Four Things podcast with me a
couple of times and he has a book coming out,
(52:35):
and so we sat down and did a bonus episode,
so it'll be loading up tomorrow on Wednesday. And he
wrote a book called The Prayer Experiment and this is
his first book, his debut, sort of like the author
of theo of Golden But what he did was he
started praying the Lord's Prayer and use that as an
outline to his prayers after going through a miscarriage and
(52:59):
then and he's a pastor that was like not praying
because he was like, I don't want to pray anymore.
So we decided to do dedicate an entire year to
praying a very specific way, and it transformed his prayer life.
So he wrote a book about it called The Prayer Experiment.
And I'll be sitting down with him or I already
did pre taped and it'll it'll load up tomorrow. But
(53:22):
I love Matt's smallbone. He's Australian, So if anything, tune
in for the accent. The accent and his cousins are
for King and Country. Do you know them? Yeah, And
I think that one of them has a publishing company.
They were the ones that I believe, like we're cheering
him on, like dude, dude, story quote to write to book.
Say dude, he says, I can only do it with
(53:46):
the with the words he says to me like aims.
He calls me Aim. That's my nickname, Aim. Hey, good
on you.
Speaker 3 (53:53):
Aim.
Speaker 4 (53:54):
He'll say good on you because I can repeat what
I hear him say. And then he said Ben my husband.
Even in the episode he goes, is it okay if
I say this? And I was like, well, we're recording
and he's like, Ben's one of my best mates and
I was like, that's I love that for y'all. So
best mate, Ben's one of my best mates.
Speaker 1 (54:13):
Australian and Irish accents are really hard to do, so yeah,
good on you for being so good.
Speaker 4 (54:19):
Good on ye. So if that's sort of your jam,
your thing, then check out that bonus episode tomorrow and
Kat and I will be back together on Thursday for
we're resuming our normal Couch Talks Q and A. Last
week we had an interview, I know, two interviews in
a week, one on Couch Talks one is a bonus episode,
but we are back to answering your questions. Yeah you
(54:44):
the listener.
Speaker 3 (54:45):
Well, to be fair, we answered their questions.
Speaker 4 (54:48):
Oh yeah, and just seeing David interview true true, true, Okay, Well,
we hope wherever you are, you have the day you
need to have. Bye bye
Speaker 1 (55:00):
Ooh
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down. If you ever have feelings
that you just wont ay and cat got your cob
and locking no, brother, ladies and felts, do you just
follow an the spirit where it's on the front and
real stuff to the chill stuff.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
And m but Swayne. Sometimes the best thing you can
do it just.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Stop you feel things. This is feeling things with.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Amy and Kat.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Kat.
And my feeling of the day is thankful.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
My feeling of the day is scattered.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
And I'm gonna have you talk about your feeling first
because I'm so scattered.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
I don't remember why that was my feeling.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Oh, you just wrote it down.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I wrote it down earlier this morning, and that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
No, scattered, you lost, you lost the feeling lost scattered. Okay, Well,
all talk and you think, okay, but what I'm thankful
for has to do directly with you, so I want
you to hear my gratitude.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Ude.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Ok So, I texted you because I was looking for
a book. I started a book called The Names, and
I cannot get into it. However, this is a recommendation
from Kelsey, who's Mike D's wife. Mike De's on the
Bobby Bone Show, and his wife is an avid reader
and she has been batting a thousand when it comes
to book recommendations, like she does not miss she let
(01:21):
me borrow names, like she sent it with Mike, and
Mike just showed up. But I didn't even ask her.
He's just like, here's another book, and I was like,
oh my gosh, this is going to be good, and
I can't get into it. Let me tell you the premise.
So the storyline follows the life of this mom and child,
a whole family. There's a husband, a sister, and there's
(01:42):
three different name options for this kid. And there's every
like there's every chapter. I don't know bulk of the book.
I don't know this style of writing. I don't know
how to part every party's part like part bulk. I
(02:04):
didn't know how to yes a part. Yeah, maybe I'm scattered,
you know, each bulk, each section, it would be like
circling three different names. So it would be like a
chapter in that part would be if we named the
baby this, this is what would have happened in life,
(02:25):
right the whole I know you're with child and you're
probably thinking of baby names. And then the second chapter
in the first bulk would be okay, and this is
the trajectory of our life since we named the baby this.
And then there's a third name option, but it takes
you through all three names, like from birth. And then
(02:47):
the next part is like age eight, and the next
part is age so it goes all the way.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Do you remember the names?
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Ali made it to part two? Yeah, Bear, Jillian and
Gordon or some thing.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Is it a girl or a boy?
Speaker 4 (03:01):
It's a boy?
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Is it Gillian?
Speaker 4 (03:03):
No, Jillian, but a Jay. I think Julian.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Julian Okay, the girl, right.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
Yeah, Julian Julian okay. Yeah, so those just from the dome.
I only read the first part in a little bit
of the second part, and then I what didn't you?
Then I texted you and I said, I need a book.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
But what it just wasn't interesting to you.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
I just couldn't get into it.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Okay, it's a crazy book.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
It is interesting. I just maybe I wasn't in the
right headspace for it. I know with every bone in
my body it's got to be a good book because
Kelsey recommended it. I'm telling you. The girl does not
go wrong. So I just think I needed to set
that one aside and devour the book you sent, which
(03:53):
you were like, hey, you should read the Housemaids books
like and I thought it was a typo, like oh,
because I thought there was just one book. Well then
I look it up and it is a three book
in books just kidding, I know, and it's called a series,
a trilogy. Yeah, and the movie that came out a
(04:16):
few months ago, that's book number one. So I assume
they're going to make movies on book two and three,
do you know?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I don't know. I'd hope so that the movie was
very good.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
And I also feel like it's very hard to make
movies that are like almost identical to the book.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
They only changed from what I remember.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
One little thing, and it was because because a movie
has to be shorter, it wouldn't have worked if they
didn't change it.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Okay, I'm curious to watch the movie. I mean, I'm
already done with the book because I ordered it. I've
saved a lot of money thanks to Kelsey because she
keeps giving me books to read, which is awesome, and
then I have some credits with Audible, and so I
just justify like, Okay, I'm gonna order the paperback for
nine to ninety nine, and then I'm also going to
order the audible for ninety nine and that helps with
(05:04):
my especially with my dyslexia and my goal of reading
this year. Like it's just a really the immersion reading
is so great for me, whether I listen while I'm reading,
or I listen while I'm walking or doing laundry and housework,
which that's what happened to me this weekend. I could
not stop listening, and then I was bummed. I even
ordered the book to read because I the physical part
of the book that I read was like I don't
(05:25):
know a few chapters because I listened to the entire
thing and that's how I got through it so quickly.
But I didn't have a lot of downtime. Like Stevenson
had a track meet. I wish i'd have taken the
book with me to the track meat, but I didn't.
But that's okay because I had it on Audible and
I listened. But I could have gone into like the
bleacher area and sat down and read, because that's I
(05:46):
want to exercise my brain with the reading, and I
know that listening I still can use my imagination. I'm
still exercising my brain in a different way, but I
really want my eyes on the page. So I'm trying
to have a help the balance. But with What's the
Housemaid Book number one?
Speaker 3 (06:06):
So good, so good.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
It's so that it's good because it's an interesting story
and it's like keeps you on your toes and you
just want to read the next chapter.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
But it's an easy read.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
And that's what I really liked about it is that
like you can read it really like you just fly
through it, which is different.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
I had no idea. Well, even though the movie came out,
I was shocked to it. Yeah, I was just like
there were twists and turns where I was like, oh, oh, okay,
oh So I am very excited to see where the
second book goes, Housemaid Secrets, I think, I think, so
I'm starting that, but now I get to watch the movie.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
So thank you.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
I'm thankful for your recommendation, and I am thankful for
Kelsey's recommendations. I just need to circle back on The Names,
which is the name of the book. Yeah, the book
the Names.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
At a later date, I was going to say the
book you recommended to me is was not so much
of an easy read THEO of Golden. I'm not out
on this book. I think I just needed a different
I took it to the beach, and at the beach,
I feel like you need like just an easy peasy
where like a million things going to be going on
and you could just be like reading this book.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
You needed Emily Henry, Yes that's literal beach read.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Yeah, calm, but this book, I'm I'm almost think I'm
a hundred pages in now. When I text you last time,
I was thinking I was three pages in.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Yes, you're like, I'm at the beach. I've read three pages.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
It takes a second to get into it, which is
there's other books that I like that of, like Winter Garden.
It takes a second to get into that one too,
and I love that book. So I didn't give up
on it. It just this is just word to the wise.
Although I did see a more elderly woman on the
beach reading THEA of Golden, So so what.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Other people are reading it on the beach.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
A lot of people are reading it. It's a very popular.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
And also when I posted that picture of it, I
wasn't saying like it's an elderly book, but I don't know.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Why I needed to.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
Just the main character is elderly. Yeah, I think that's fine.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
But it was kind of cute because she was sitting
over there on her chair reading THEO of Golden, and
I was like sitting there holding the book pretending I
was reading it too.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
So you're like, oh, I love this.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
We're the same.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
I love this THEO guy. Later you're like, THEO am
I right.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Also, it took me a second to understand. I don't
know if there was supposed to be like this or
I was just distracted. I didn't understand what Golden was
for like a couple pages. I think that's what threw me.
I was like, what is golden? And why can't we
just figure that out? But I didn't even so I
didn't know anything about what the book was about for
I opened it. Anyway, I did also get when I
(08:44):
posted that picture of the book, so many people messaged
me and said, this is one of my favorite books.
So I just want you guys to know I'm keeping
with it.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
You're not going to give up.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
It just wasn't as easy peasy, and maybe I've become
a lazy read.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Yeah, it's he has a sophistication about him.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah, the writer does too. I texted you and I
was like, maybe I'm not suparted.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
And that's the writer's debut novel.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
No way. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Lucky Duck. Yeah, he
really struck gold with that.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Well he's talent. Yeah, talented.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Well, a lot of writers are talented and they don't.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
That's true, and their dub book is huge catch fire
like that one.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Unless you like, how do you, especially in this age
of everybody's writing a book and a lot of celebrities
write books now and those books go straight to the
New York Times Bestsellers list? How do you become just
a best selling author who comes from.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
You get a literary agent, imagine, and then they work
it and then you're with a publisher and the maid Yeah,
and then some people just buy their own books and
it hits the list. They're like, oh, well that's what
I've heard. I don't know that. I don't know for sure.
I haven't heard that directly from somebody, but you here
of like, oh this first, and they maybe in one
(10:03):
of my books, maybe in one of my Emily Henry books,
or where there's authors they talk about.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Doing that, Like, that's like, I mean, I guess if
you have the money, it's kind of smart, but it's
kind of cheating the system exactly.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
So why are you feeling scattered? Did you think of it? No?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
I literally have no idea. Maybe because I just got.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Well that tracks. I love that you're feeling matches right now. Yeah,
where you are right now, it's still it's scattered scattered.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Yeah, maybe because I just got home last night and
I haven't like collected my bearings.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
You know, well before we started recording, because you just
said collected my bearings, you said, do you know what saying?
I really can't stand your Well.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
I almost said it.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I just decided in this five minutes ago that I
hated the staying because I said it.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
And I was like, oh, don't say that.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I just decided in this five minutes ago that I
hated the sting because I said it. And I was like, oh,
don't say that. Well, I was thirsty, and I was like,
I got it. I need to wet my whistle, my whistle,
I need to wet my whistles. So I wanted to
say I did not say that, as I said that
in my brain you know sometimes I think before I speak.
Most of the time I don't. And I was like, oh,
(11:22):
don't say that, doesn't I don't like it. Wet my whistle? Yeah,
that sounds like anyway if that if you love that saying,
keep saying it. It's just not for me.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
I don't know who says that, like maybe my grandma. Yeah,
I gotta wet my whistle because also is it sounding
dirty to me?
Speaker 3 (11:46):
That's what it was sounding to me.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Yeah, maybe because it's that song that's like, isn't there
a song that's.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Like, whistle baby, whistle baby? Let me like a.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
What whistle?
Speaker 3 (11:58):
But isn't that one that is about?
Speaker 4 (12:00):
I don't know what that. I don't know what that is.
Have you watched Beef on Netflix.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
The first season?
Speaker 4 (12:07):
I haven't watched okay one, Well season two is out
and they show the whistle.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Well of wait, they show frontal, they do that. They
did that in Righteous Gemstones a lot in the last season.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
Yeah, I'm just like, when did we start showing waitnn's whistles?
Speaker 3 (12:23):
What what?
Speaker 5 (12:25):
What?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
What channel is that on Netflix?
Speaker 4 (12:27):
That's nuts, right because kids could just easily see the whistle,
see the whistle like it's no problem used to have
to pay for, like skin Amax, skin a Max, Well,
it was Cinemax, but we called it skin a Max
because of because you could see skin.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I thought that was more like an HBO thing.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
No, it's on Netflix, Yeah, because Game of Thrones. Bobby said,
they show.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
What was the stuff there?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
The new Game of Not it's like the prequel to
Game of something. Patrick was watching that in like the
first episodes or something. It's a big old whistle.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
I like how that we've nicknamed it a whistle. I've
never heard anybody call it a whistle, but hopefully people
are tracking with what we're talking about.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
I think it makes sense.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Yeah, like whistle.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Cry outcats, Like, I'm going to start using that every day.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
I've got my aura ring here. And I don't know
why a whistle made me just think of the story.
But maybe it's because I don't know that I'll ever
be with a whistle again, because because all I care
about now is my sleep. Oh my gosh, I don't
want to go out because I have to get a
crown on my sleep score. Because you can get your
(13:45):
readiness score, your sleep score, and your want a movement score,
and sometimes I get optimal, Like last night, I got optimal.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Can you not have optimal sleep?
Speaker 4 (13:57):
No?
Speaker 3 (13:57):
With them?
Speaker 4 (13:58):
No, lately I've been getting good, but I I don't
want to get bad.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Well, what if you are with a partner that you
feel very safe and connected with and you get really
good sleep because you're well, that.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Would be right, But that would mean I wouldn't be
and I wouldn't be. My ring says, time to get
ready for bed, and I'm like, oh, time to get
ready for bed. And I go and I wash my
face and I get ready for bed because I have
to prepare my body for sleep so I can get
good sleep. So I'm just saying I'm not gonna my
ring is going to keep me single because now I
(14:30):
care about sleep a lot.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
How do we hide your ring? No?
Speaker 4 (14:35):
No, I want good sleep. I mean maybe I could
meet somebody during the daytime.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Yeah, I think this will be This will become a
problem when you're wanting to like, you know, stay up
a little later and like hang you know, when you
have like the new relationship feeling and like you do
you do this and you forego like all of your
because it's exciting, Like oh yeah, that's when you're gonna have.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
To make a decision.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
But I think right now you have plenty of time
outside of your getting ready for bedtime, in your sleep
time to meet somebody.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
I think, okay, well we'll see TVD. I just had
this thought about how it just feels so good and
sleep is so important, but so is having fun. But
I'm like, I can have fun during the day. I
don't know, I'm really enjoying the sleep.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Are there other parts of that ring that you are liking.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
I'm tracking my cycle, which is great. How do you
I enter it in? I log it in, so it's
just more of in the app, and my ring will
get to know me. But I need to have it
for longer to where it'll feel my temperature and know
my cycle's coming. But here's the thing, you know, I've
I've got my testosterone pellet in, I got my iron IV,
I'm on my vitamin D and my ovaries. You know,
(15:51):
each cycle it goes right overy, then left, and then
right and then left, like when you're having your period.
It's this side and then the next month is the
other side.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
For at one point I knew that, and you just
reminded me.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
I forgot that, Okay, now I'm second guessing myself. Now
in my mind, that's how my body works, if that
sounds right, like ninety nine percent sure, So my I
don't know which one it is, but my right one
I just had not that long ago. And then a
week goes by and my left one goes into action.
But then between my left one extra back to my
(16:25):
right one will give me like more of a normal
twenty eight day cycle. But when I go, I'm on
the one where and I never noticed it fully that
it was just a week apart, but because I entered
because of my ring, now I'm tracking things. And I
entered it in and I was looking at the islendor,
I'm like, I'll be dang, that is one week from
(16:46):
the stop to the start.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Does the ring say like, oh, something's up?
Speaker 4 (16:50):
No, because I have to enter. No, it just takes
your information. It just knows. But now I know. And
when I go, I have a follow up appointment at
my gynecologist on May seventh for blood work to see
where I am with all my levels. She's gonna be
proud of me for tracking, because I always feel like
I'm gonna remember. I'm like, I don't need a track,
that's annoying. And then I'm like, shoot, was that a
Tuesday or was it a Wednesday? And was that even
(17:12):
last week? And when was it? Has it been two weeks?
And now I know I have the proof thanks to
the app. I'm entering it and we'll see. And now
Shannon's updating us on the ovaries, and she said, well,
it's not necessarily the case. While it's common belief that
ovaries alternate every other month, the process is not a
strict perfect rotation. One ovary can release an egg for
(17:35):
several months in a row, or the right ovary may
ovulate more frequently than the left, the dominant ovary. Many
people have one that is dominant. Okay, well, I wonder
how they choose when it's doing one week in between,
I think the other one is kicking in because I
don't think the other one would turn yeah, the other
one would be like the other one might be saying
(17:56):
the the other one, dude, I just did it like
a week ago. You're good. And then it's like no,
I'm ready, and.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
It goes that's just annoying.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
I'm sorry, it's okay to all of our men listening,
I am sorry. I didn't even mean to talk about that.
Will you ask what I like more about my ring?
If I like other things about my ring, And it's
really what I can enter into the app and information
I'm learning about myself.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Yeah, I have something for the men, okay, what this
is for the woman and the mema. I just think
everybody can benefit from this. I just have to throw
this recommendation out because I have found a new game
that I'm obsessed with and you can play with two people,
and it's a golf game, but it's not really about golf.
So if your partner or your friend or whoever loves
(18:40):
golf and you love playing games, you can trick them
into saying, hey, I have this golf game, and then
they'll play it with you. Okay, it's called play nine
is a card game. I actually think this is a
game you could play with normal cards.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
So I was picturing we were on a golf course.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
No, no, so sorry, sorry.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
This is a card game, okay, And you can play
with two people, and you can play it anywhere, like
we brought it to the beach. We didn't play on
the beach because of the wind, but like the airport
in the house when it was raining and all that
it's so fun. I don't think it I need to
explain the rules of the game because that's boring. But
look it up, especially if you want a game that
you can play with just two people or you can
play with six people.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Okay, okay, I have a little bit of sports inforation.
The game is called play nine, so it's like nine holes.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
But that's that's the golf part.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yes, and the cards have like golf pictures on them,
but it's not It has nothing to do with golf.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
You don't have to know anything about golf. Also, I
have some sports knowledge. Do you watch any you don't
watch any golf? Did you watch Full Swing?
Speaker 4 (19:44):
Yeah? I did?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Okay. Do you remember Matt Fitzpatrick, Yes, okay.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Do you know that he has a brother that was
on the European Golf so he's not on the PGA Tour,
the main tour Okay, I don't know, okay, because his
brother was on Full Swing too, so they just played
a tournament. I think this is so this tier. I
teared up when I saw this. They just played it
in a tournament. Matt Fitzpatrick is a professional golfer. His
(20:08):
brother's like I guess you would count him as like
semi pro.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
You can.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
There's this tournament once a year that a professional golfer
can pick anybody. They could pick you to play in
this tournament with them. If you win the tournament, you
now get to be on the PGA Tour.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Oh wow, they won.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
Oh they won.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
So Matt Fitzpatrick got his I mean his brother obviously
had to play well too, but like by inviting him
to play with him, he got his brother on the
PGA Tour for two years.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
That's sweet. We were playing play nine while we were
watching that happen.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Oh so little reck and little info for all of
our male listeners. Yes they good, some overy talk, some
golf talk, balance it out.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
I do have a question for you as a therapist,
but also as my friend. Okay, okay, because this is
something that happened. No, it's not a trick, but I'm
sure you're gonna be like, and there's no truth to
this at all whatsoever. But it's sort of ridiculous. Like
we were doing a Instagram live on The Bobby Bone
Show and the other day and Shannon happened to be
watching like it pops up on Instagram, so she clicked
(21:12):
on and she was watching and I was telling a
story and I was using my hands while I was talking,
and she saw comments that came through, so she grabbed them. Okay, Sue.
Sue says, who I don't know, I don't I don't
have to read the handles, but that's the handle wrote,
what's with Amy's constant hand movements? I've heard it's a
sign of eating disorders? And then kr R seven to
(21:35):
two replied what a lot of people talk with their hands,
and then Suzzu who or whatever said not anyone I know.
And so I was like, why would someone just say
that does talking with your hands have anything to do
with the eating disorders? Being that you're a therapist that
specializes in disordered eating and eating.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Disorders, I can say very confidently I have never in
my fifteen years of working in this field.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
I would also like to say, you were explaining this, well,
I'll talk about my hands.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Have I heard there there to be a correlation between
hand talking and eating disorders?
Speaker 4 (22:14):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
There could be a correlation because a lot of people
talk with their hands, but there's no call, like, there's
no cause and effect.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
They're not actually connected, no cause, but you could you
could have.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
You could have an eating disorder and also talk with
your hands, but you can talk with your hands and
not have an eating disorder.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
I'm glad we cleared that up.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
But besides that, so that is like almost like so absurd.
It's like one of those things that's like who cares.
But at the same time, why would you say that?
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Exactly? I don't know. That's why she hadn't thought it
was funny and she pulled the comment, and I was like, oh, haha,
I'm gonna ask Cat because she's therapist specializes in this,
and I thought you might know, because what if you're like, oh, interesting,
so crazy you're saying that. There was a study out
of Harvard that said, well maybe I'm there's I don't
think so, Cat like they just think and when you're like,
why would they type that? I saw this one girl
(23:01):
do a real it was in my for you. So
I don't know who she is. I'd love to give
her credit. I don't know. It was just I was scrolling,
but she was like, hey, okay, let's talk about this.
Like she's looking at the camera talking to people. She's like,
I'm talking to you. If you are gonna type something,
make sure you would say it to someone's face. If
you're not able to say it to their face. No
(23:24):
TYPEE like no type no said to face. If you
can say to face, then you can type. But most
of the time you're not going to say to someone's
face all the horrible things that people type, Like when
people I guess someone maybe had called out her crow's
feet or something. She's like, So if you wouldn't walk
up to some random person at the grocery store and
(23:45):
be like, oh, your crows feet, then like, why type
that to a random woman on the internet?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Right? Exactly?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Beautiful video and beautiful message message. And I was gonna say,
beautiful recreation of said video by you.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
I could give her credit. It was like at joy something. Shoot,
I don't.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
You've seen it.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
I don't follow this person.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
But but what is interesting about this is I'm assuming
this person really has not heard this.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Maybe they're just saying because I've had a neating disorder
and I use my hands a lot, they're just being mean.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
That's what I'm getting, Okay, because then why wouldn't you say, like,
I give more information or something if you're gonna put
that on there.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Also, besides all of that.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
What's the point that's with like a lot of these comments,
like you're saying like they're crozy. My question to a
lot of that stuff is like, what is the point
of that? Like, if somebody was concerned about you, I'm
feeling them protective of you.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I'm sorry. This is not therapist cat. This is friend cat.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
It's something which is good because up next, I have
signs of a safe friendship. Okay, I'm feeling safe right now.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Okay, good.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
If I was concerned, whether I knew you were not,
I probably would not leave a comment on a public
forum like that. I would either met if I didn't
know you and I was really concerned and feel like
I needed to say something, I would message a DM you,
and if I, as your friend, was concerned, I would
talk to you in person. But if I was really
concerned about oh no, like how she relapsed or something,
(25:16):
I wouldn't put it there when that's just going to
cause negative attention.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Well, probably maybe they wanted the attention, like the rage
bait thing people do. Yeah, that's probably, and we just
gave it to them. I'm glad I didn't really enunciate
what the actual handle was I just said, saysuz.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Oh, we did give the rage bait, but.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
I didn't say I was always saying it right, their
handle isn't even.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
The other thing is with the like when people are
just making comments about people's appearance, like the crow's feet.
That's also we all have thoughts, and this is where
I can, like, really I can not empathize but understand
somebody having a thought about what somebody looks like. Right,
that's what we do as humans. We look at people
and we automatically make judgments. Most of those thoughts stay
(25:59):
in my head because why would I say? It's almost
like that acronym that Sissy Goff taught us. Wait, why
am I talking?
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Like? Why am I saying this?
Speaker 1 (26:08):
What would this do? What would this bring? What's the point?
So it's not bad to have a thought? You can't
help your thoughts?
Speaker 4 (26:16):
Waste?
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Wait? What is that?
Speaker 4 (26:18):
Why am I saying this?
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Yes, it's okay, waste.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
We didn't even start using that because it's not bad
to have a thought. We can't help our thoughts, but
we are responsible with what we do with those thoughts,
and we need to. You know, what's it called when
you're like policing? We need to police our own thoughts,
and I think sometimes.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
We just don't. Some people don't care.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Some people don't care, and maybe they maybe there Why
am I saying this is that I want to hurt somebody,
or if it makes me feel good to say something
mean about you or whatever. But I don't think I'm
better than anybody in the sunset. Like I have negative
thoughts about people too. I just choose wisely what to
do it with them. And I'm sure people like, yeah,
people probably have negative thoughts about me all the time.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
You can have them all you want. I just don't
need to know.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
Yeah, oh, thank you for that.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
You just got me all feeling hot.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Got you in your feelings, Okay, cry okat just said that.
I guess one time on the Bobby Bone Show, I
had a story about how honest people talk with their hands.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
So yeah, so that means that doesn't necessarily mean you
have an eating disorder, but it might mean that you're honest.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
I mean maybe I don't know.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
We need study is either.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
I mean, I'm sure at that when I was sharing that,
I had a study that I was talking about. But
some people talk with their hands, some people don't. Some
people use filler words. Some people don't. I want to
be someone that maybe uses their hands a little less
because I think it's a comfort thing for me and
I want to use less filler words.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
That's interesting. The filler words I understand and same. I
feel like when people talk with their hands, it adds
and it makes them appear more confident a lot of times.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
Okay, Like sometimes I feel like mine are flailing about.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Well, show me what you do well.
Speaker 4 (28:17):
I mean if I'm like I think if you do
things like giving up, like, it's good to have a visual.
Like if I'm going to say, I'm going to share
with you ten signs that you are in a safe friendship, right,
Like seeing the ten is good at least I think
research shows that four. I'm going to give you four.
(28:38):
Like we like seeing that visual with what we're talking about.
But sometimes I'm just like all about like hitting things.
One time I was talking with my hands so much
I ripped my earring out and it ripped all the
way through, and that's when I had to have my
ear sewn back together.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Did you rip that off?
Speaker 4 (28:54):
Yeah? Because my no. I was at my son's birthday
party and I was talking talking to somebody and I
was talking with my hands and my finger got caught
in the earring and my earring hole was already hanging
on by a thread, obviously, but it ripped all the
way through and my earring landed on the sidewalk but
it was still intact, and I'm like, well, how did
that happen? And then I put my hand in my
(29:16):
ear and it was bleeding and I was like, oh,
my ear ripped. And then I had to have a
plastic surgeon like sew it back together. And just that's
because I was talking by hands too much, so, you know,
flailing about. But I do want to get to the
okay signs. Your friendship feels like home. I saw this
at medium dot com and feels like home is aka safe. Okay,
(29:38):
okay the signs, So are you ready?
Speaker 3 (29:40):
I'm ready.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
You can be full of yourself without editing who you are.
It's a sign you're in that makes sense, a friendship
that feels like home. I feel, let's do it for
each other.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
I don't know, it's okay, we don't.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
If we don't, I don't feel like I have to edit.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Okay, Well I don't feel that either, but okay, because
I feel like, this is a dangerous game.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
We're getting vulnerable if you don't overthink texts or replay
conversations afterwards. I do that sometimes.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
I was gonna say, you do that a lot, but
that's just you as a person, right, Okay, Yeah, you don't.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
You don't do that. You don't do that to me.
You don't replay our conversations.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
I'm just kidding you know what I do?
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Because last week I feel like there was something. I
don't remember what was, but I do remember last week
being like, was I rude? But I didn't say anything
to you. You'll actually like text me and be like
sorry I was this way, and I'd be like, what
are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Okay? Silence feels comfortable, not awkward.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
I can be silent around you.
Speaker 5 (30:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Same.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
You feel supported even when you're not at your best.
Yeah yeah, check. They celebrate you without making it about them.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Yeah check. You're really good at that, because I think
that you are. Do you mind me sharing well, I
don't know what you're say.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Well, I feel like you are hyper vigilant to that
because even earlier today when we were talking on the
phone and I like randomly said this, I told you
I was coming home from the doctor and I learned
this thing about my placenta, and it was just kind
of flippant, and then you said something about yourself and
then you said, oh, but I don't you like came
(31:22):
back and made sure you're like, I want you to
know that I want to hear more about that.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
If you want to talk about it.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
Yeah, you do that a lot well, because I didn't
want to disc like you were acting like, yeah, it's fine,
it's not that big of a deal. But then I
didn't see how you're really feeling about it, because it
could be it's not as it's not something bad like
you're you're bought, you're not, it's not going to harm
you or you were the baby, but it's still.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
It's it could be disappointing for people.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Yes, I'll share what it is so people don't think
we're talking code. I had a doctor's pointment today and
they think this isn't confirmed, so I can't say for sure,
but the way that they were hearing the heartbeat sounded
like I have an anterior placenta, which just means my
placentas in the front, which is she said, only thirty
percent of.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
What nothing I'm just thinking of are you making this
about you?
Speaker 4 (32:10):
Wait?
Speaker 3 (32:10):
Wait, no, I'm sharing a really vulnerable okay, I even laughing.
Speaker 4 (32:20):
Oh weirdy Okay, sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
When I when I met the information, I'm adding levity, okay,
not to make it about me, but I was thinking
about your placenta.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
And eating it.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
No, keep going. I don't even know if like I
could say what I was thinking?
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Was it dirty? Dirty? Is it that a whistle? Yep?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Well, are you thinking that the whistles going to hit
the placenta?
Speaker 3 (32:49):
I think that's the thing. Okay, I don't think that's
the thing that would have to go really.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
Okay, okay, okay, okay, we don't have to get to
about a crazy whistle. Oh okay, but Patrick obviously.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
Has Shannon just said shut up. Shan said she's not
looking this back up.
Speaker 4 (33:09):
That's like, have you seen those like have you seen
those videos where there's like a scratch on like the
wife's back or the husband's bag. It's like a scratch
and it's like, you know, six inches long or whatever,
and the like the wife will be like, oh my gosh,
this scratch is huge, and then the husbands are like, yeah,
(33:34):
six inches is.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
That's not on my fore page. They're funny. They're so
funny because.
Speaker 4 (33:43):
Like as a scratch, you're like, oh my gosh, this
scratch is so big, and then.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
The guys are like, so big.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Yeah, Okay, well, I don't think that's I haven't had
that issue, and I have not been afraid of that
until now.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
Okay, we finished the thing. I interrupted with my aready
thought yeah or inappropriate thought it wasn't dirty.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
At least, that wasn't you making about you. It's just
you being a little bit.
Speaker 4 (34:07):
I was serious.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
They didn't tell me that. I don't think that's the thing.
But I could also be wrong because I'm new at
this interior percenta thing, and it might not even I'm
not confirmed.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
They just think that based.
Speaker 4 (34:20):
On how I can sound it a possibility.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
But all it means really is and I think I
was saying it's only thirty percent of people have this.
All it means is it's going to take longer for
me to feel the baby, which actually makes me feel
better because I haven't felt her that I know of.
I guess some things could be her, but I just
don't realize it. And because of the way the placenta
is you don't feel it as it takes longer for
(34:44):
you to feel the baby's movement. Gotcha, So instead of
like sixteen to twenty weeks, it's more probably like twenty
to twenty four weeks.
Speaker 4 (34:50):
Right, And that's why I want to just sort of
second how you are feeling, like, oh, because a lot
of people look forward to feeling their baby. Yeah kick,
So okay, way back to them, it feels like home.
This friendship, they celebrate you without making about them. Uh,
you don't feel like you're quote too much or quote
(35:13):
not enough.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
I don't experience that.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
I don't either. You didn't answer, okay, sorry, They speak
about you with respect even when you're not there.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
Well, I don't know, but I hope so, yeah I do.
Speaker 4 (35:31):
Looking in the eyes, I do you feel calm after
seeing them not drained?
Speaker 3 (35:37):
M hm?
Speaker 4 (35:38):
Yeah. You don't have to earn your place, it's already yours.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Yeah, but you kind of have to earn it in
the beginning. Yeah, but then we got it. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:48):
Okay, So those are signs your friendship feels like home.
I don't know that you have to have. If you
don't have every single one of those, it's not like, oh.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
I got to get rid of my friend toxic friendship
at all, because yeah, I think that it's just a
list of.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
Like healthy kids, healthy sign qualities to having a friendship. Yes, yes,
we're speaking of friendships. I saw another article, this one
is I can give you the It's from Oxford University.
Researchers on average say that most women have a core
group of around five friends. However, when a woman gets
(36:22):
into a new relationship with a partner, they typically lose
two of those friends. You don't know why, because they
have less time. Shocker, someone gets jealous, You simply drift
away from your former single life, which I feel like
(36:43):
all of those makes sense, but I'm like, dang to
drop off?
Speaker 3 (36:47):
That makes sense to me.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
I think I think it depends on like the grouping
of your friends, because I've experienced that.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Actually asked Patrick last night.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
We were eating dinner, and I said, what are I'm
asking you a bunch of different random questions, but one
of the ones I asked was what is one friend
that you've lost touch with that you wish that you
could reconnect with? And we both were talking both people
that we said the reason that we lost as close
of a connection we would still consider them friends is
because our life stage is different. So whether they had
(37:17):
kids or whether it was because we got married or
something like, things just tend to change depending on how
those friendships are structured.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Before, you know. But it's not necessarily bad. I don't
think that's always bad.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Like my friends who have had kids and then their
life has shifted and we're not as close. I'm not
over there being like they've ditched me. It's just like, well,
their life is different. We can't be the same. We
can't do the same things that we used to do.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
Yeah, it's evolved, so it.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Just that there's some grief in that.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
But also I don't there's not like resentment, right that
I feel in my relationships.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Five friends was shocking.
Speaker 4 (37:53):
Though, Five friends? Like you have five? Five friends?
Speaker 3 (37:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (37:58):
How many do you have?
Speaker 1 (37:59):
I thought it was I thought the number. I think
I would want to know, like what kind of friends?
Because I have more than five friends. But I don't
know that I have.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
How many bridesmaids? Did you have?
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Nine? But three of them were my family?
Speaker 4 (38:14):
Okay, so that's about six, so.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
You're right, that's about that is sex that is nine
three Actually that's actually six.
Speaker 4 (38:28):
Okay, so so that and that's close to five. Six
is right after five? Yeah, just about.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
But some of those friends like, well.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
I was one of them, so then then there's five.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Why aren't you one of the Well, I don't.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Feel those the other friends, Like I don't feel like
I'm part of that group like I would. That makes sense, Yeah,
like I am in.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
But one was a college friend, which like, I don't
talk to her well, like text more than we talk
on the phone. She lives in a different she lives
far away, and she has three kids. She brought her
like three month old baby to the wedding. You remember,
she was a good friend for doing that. So I
would still consider her one of my best friends. But
we don't talk that often, right But yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
Like I talked to my best room from high school
on Saturday for like thirty minutes. We did a catch up,
like while I was waiting around at the track mate,
and I don't chalk to like, I'm gonna see her
this weekend in Austin because she lives in Austin and
she every year she comes to our iHeart Country festival.
So I see her there and we'll text and we talk,
but it doesn't matter, like she's been my best friend
(39:36):
since high school, will always be there for each other
and we could go months, honestly, So.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
I would wonder if this study is more like, do
you lose the friends or to the friendship? Friendships change?
Speaker 4 (39:49):
Yeah, I don't know, We'll have to look it up.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
I wouldn't consider that friendship lost and you're like, your
friendship isn't Yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
No, she's still. That didn't change, like that was me
moving like it was other. It wasn't because I got
into a relationship.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Do you feel like you lost friends when you were
dating Alex?
Speaker 4 (40:04):
I feel like I saw my friends less.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Well yes, yes, but you didn't lose them.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
No, I didn't lose them, but I mean I maybe
could have. They probably. I think that distance was created
just because we naturally did more of his life. Yeah,
because I have my kids fifty percent of the time.
He has his kids one hundred percent of the time,
and they're very active, so we naturally every weekend it
was like his stuff because the kids always had things
(40:31):
going on, and if they didn't, we need to be
close by where they were. So we just ended up
and hit his neck of the woods more and I
put some of that on me, Like I should have
been like, hey, let's go do this with some of
my friends, but I just was. I don't know, I
just was defaulting. It became a default to like okay,
well you know, yeah, I know. I was also low testosterone. No,
(40:53):
I like, I didn't have the energy.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
I would wonder, like, because you audated for around a
year and a half, So I wonder if that relationship
would have lasted longer, if things would have evened out
even with your friends, because in the beginning I.
Speaker 4 (41:06):
Would have had to have made sure we made a
concerted effort to do that, but he.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
Naturally would have happened.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
I think what I'm trying to say is in the
beginning of relationships, in the beginning of relationship can still
be a year and a half in that's still like
newsh You're more like these is gonna sound bad, but
like you're more excited, and you're more apt to like
want to like forego things to go spend time with
this new person in your life.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
Right, naturally, that starts to drop off.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
And then I think not that you'd be like, Okay,
I'll hang on my friends again now, but like naturally,
I think you would start feeling that again. Yeah, you know,
so I don't want you to feel. You can feel
however you want, but I don't think in the beginning
of relationships. I have a lot of grace for people
in the beginning of relationships because like that, you just
that's what happens, Like you want to spend all your
(41:52):
time with this person.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
Yeah, and so you get it, like you get it.
I know. I think just some of my relationships, I
would spend a lot of time with people, like even
cry okay or clar, like we would walk a lot
more and then but I would also then I'd started
walking with him, so then he became my walking body.
So then if I don't have a you know, it
just was I don't know, I realized it anyway.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
It's like I've done with this.
Speaker 4 (42:19):
Okay, we do have a voicemail that has to do
with you, Cat that I would love for people to
hear because it's an interesting perspective. Okay, we do have
a voicemail that has to do with you, Cat that
(42:41):
I would love for people to hear because it's an
interesting perspective. You had shared how your true honest feelings
about your pregnancy.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
The first trimester, body body image.
Speaker 4 (42:54):
Body image stuff, and so we got a voicemail that's
a different So you had but a very important message.
I get, well, I don't know that it's different. She
was still feeling, but it's like her body wasn't changing
that much.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
It was a perspective, I think, a different perspective.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
That's the word. So we'll go ahead and play that.
This is from McKenna.
Speaker 5 (43:15):
Hi am spare. My name's McKenna. I was just listening
to the episode about pregnancy and bodies, like the segment
on that, and I had a really interesting experience in
the other direction where I'm not like a small person
by any means. And during pregnancy I had HG which
makes you throw up and you're really nauseous all the time.
And so throughout the entire I was at pregnant for
(43:37):
forty one weeks. In three days, I was severely sick, vomiting, nausea,
pretty much couldn't eat a full meal, and I was
given confidence go lore for not gaining weight, and I
couldn't express people like what I would give to just
be able to eat a full meal. It just made
me really reckon with like how we are talking about
pregnant bodies and we should be talking about the middle
(44:00):
but how other people would comment on it, and people
would tell me it looked so good, and it was
almost jarring to know that I was so sick and
I was so you know, concerned that I couldn't eat
and give my baby the proper fuel, and I was
just reinforced over and over. So I just wanted to
like offer some encouragement that just because someone like looks
the specifically and their pregnant body does not mean that
(44:22):
they are like doing any better or worse than what
you're going through. And we just need to be able
to let our bodies do what they need to do,
because that's even in life. Thank you. Sorry, I just
wanted to ramble a little bit, but.
Speaker 4 (44:36):
I didn't think she was rambling.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
Now I didn't either.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
I think that is a perfect thank you for sharing
that and a perfect example of why we should not
comment on people's bodies.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Just again, but tell.
Speaker 4 (44:47):
Her, so, Okay, this is thoughts circling back to something
we were saying sort of at the beginning. Is like
people were obviously saying to this to her in person. Oh,
these were comments that were being said to her not.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Because people are thinking those are positive comments. Yes, so
I think that's a difference. But I think, yes, if
I'm having a thought maybe about somebody and they're pregnant
about their body, have it.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
You can't help that you're having the thought. It's natural.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
You don't have to share that with them because in
her case, like you don't know how what she was
going through and that, I mean, that sounds horrible to
be sick for that long, and the anxiety that I
might have about what she was saying, like being able
to give my baby nutrients, like that's not it's a
different side. It's a different experience than I'm having, But
it's not like a I wouldn't say it's a better one, right,
(45:35):
And so let's really be mindful of what thoughts we
let come.
Speaker 4 (45:39):
Out out of our mouths.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
And thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 4 (45:42):
And I'm sorry, like we were saying earlier, the checking yourself,
policing yourself?
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Why am I saying this?
Speaker 4 (45:49):
Why am I saying this? But like, what how can
we should we give people like count to five?
Speaker 3 (45:55):
Well, what was that.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Trick Brene Brown would do before she would she would
do this before answering a question? And important question. She
would twist her ring three times around her finger. Yeah,
let's implement that when we want to make a comment
about what somebody looks like, and hopefully most of the
time we will not exact comment.
Speaker 4 (46:12):
Is this a helpful comment? Is this is a helpful comment?
But in her case, like some people like you said,
they probably thought they were saying something helpful. But because
I don't know this person's exact scenario, I should keep
this comment to myself, keeps this comment to myself.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Well, I think that also sends the message, which like
this is I'm processing this now in real time, but
like it sends the message that like we as women
should our bodies shouldn't change as we're going through pregnancy, right,
And that if our bodies don't change as we're going
through pregnancy, that most of the time that could mean
something's wrong. And so why do we feel I think
(46:48):
there's obviously I could talk about why we feel this way,
but there's a lot of messaging, even in pregnancy that
says like smaller is better. I was more talking about
like I my body's changing, but like I don't look
pregnant yet, I've accepted that my body will change. I
want to look pregnant because I like feel like that's exciting.
But still it's like, yeah, we are sent the message
(47:10):
that our bodies should look a certain way through pregnancy,
but that that is not really what they're supposed to
look like. You know, that makes sense, And everybody's every
single body is different, So people could have healthy pregnancies
and not gain the same amount of weight as somebody else. Right,
it's all very relative. So let's just twist the ring
(47:32):
and waste and waste. But okay, I had to say this'
out waste. I had this thought. If you say, like,
why am I saying this, you might say, because it's
going to make her feel better.
Speaker 4 (47:42):
I know, So that's why I threw in the like,
you don't know someone's full scenario or our situation. So
is this is a helpful comment? Probably not.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
Yeah, we need to acramen for that.
Speaker 4 (47:51):
And even if if if you think it might be,
and you are ninety nine percent sure, just go ahead
and lean on that one percent that it's not. That's
why even with people like your coworkers, if they've lost
weight for some reason and you think, oh wow, they
probably would like to hear Hey man, you're working out hey,
or hey girl, you're working out like you're you're yeah,
(48:14):
you look so good? You have no idea? Is there depression?
Do they have cancer? Are they because it's work like,
they might not be sharing with coworkers what they have
going on us. Are they stressed? Yes?
Speaker 3 (48:25):
Are they?
Speaker 4 (48:26):
Do they have something going on at home? Like is
there something else going on with their body? Which they
where they haven't disclosed what's happening. And they're they're hoping
going to work like fingers crossed every day that nobody's
going to notice their situation and then you know, you
say something, or if it is eating disorder related, that's
where it can be dangerous because then it adds to
(48:47):
the celebration that sometimes gives fuel. It's adding fuel to
the fire.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
And think about like if somebody now she couldn't help
heer scenario right, but if you are, because people who
have eating disorders get pregnant, So if you also are
sharing that with somebody, if if take her scenario, but
you have an eating disorder versus she's sick. If I'm
sharing that of a good job, girl, you haven't gained
(49:12):
any baby weight. It looks so good. You're all belly,
like all those kind of comments that also could be
telling her eating disorder.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
You're doing a really good job. Keep it up, so
let's just twist the ring.
Speaker 4 (49:25):
Twist the ring.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
This should be the instead of asking all those questions,
it should just be like, I'm going to twist the
ring until I find something else to say that. Twist
the ring until you find something that has nothing to
do with what they look like.
Speaker 4 (49:38):
And if you can't find anything else to say, don't
like saying it. Be like, I like your shoes.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
Even if you hate them.
Speaker 4 (49:47):
Those shoes are so pretty. I'm not wearing any shoes. Oh,
all things.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (50:03):
Well, hopefully that voicemail I know, Kat, you're you sharing
your experience was so helpful. I know that voicemail will
be helpful to other people. And yeah, maybe just the
big takeaways. Let's just all pause before we speak, think
do anything. If anybody has read the names, hit me up.
(50:25):
I'm gonna give it a go eventually. But like, if
you've read it and you're like, power through, it gets
so much better. I could just use that little nudge
of encouragement.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
Because if I didn't have all the encouragement about theo
of Golden, I would have already put it down.
Speaker 3 (50:38):
Wow, so you need some encouragement.
Speaker 4 (50:39):
Yeah, I need some encouragement. Besides, I already know Kelsey's
Queen of reading, so I know it's gonna be good.
And I think it was like one of Jenna Bush's
Jenna's picks for the Today Show or she has like
a reading thing because it says it on the book.
Speaker 3 (50:55):
We didn't circle back to this. That is one of
the most stressful things I'm dealing with right now. What
the name?
Speaker 4 (51:03):
Oh, what to name?
Speaker 1 (51:04):
Your true chosen a name, but like we haven't chosen
a full name. But that confirms my feelings is that
like this name can change the trajectory.
Speaker 4 (51:13):
Are you and Patrick going to be in agreement on
the name? Yes, okay, that's fine. The part of this
book and this is early on, so I don't feel
like I'm spoiling anything. Is the the husband does not
agree with her name choice, so it impacts their relationship. Oh,
so it impacts how he treats her and the kid.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
And then okay, I was thinking, like their personality develops
differently based on what their name is.
Speaker 4 (51:43):
Well, I mean maybe a little bit. I haven't gotten
to other chapters or their parts or other bulks. I've
into gotten to that bulk of the book yet, but
if you've read the names, let me know because I
will take the encourageent And and also if you were
like I'm like you, I I could read a little bit.
I don't know if I want to hear.
Speaker 3 (52:02):
That because I because you want to read.
Speaker 4 (52:05):
It, because I want to read it. Yeah, this is
my year of reading and I really don't want to
give up on a book, you know, And I'm okay.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
To do that. I know people have different tastes.
Speaker 4 (52:15):
Yeah, Which, speaking of books, tomorrow, I'm doing a very
special bonus episode. This is something we haven't done before really,
but Matt Smallbone, who is a pastor here in Nashville.
He came on the Four Things podcast with me a
couple of times and he has a book coming out,
(52:35):
and so we sat down and did a bonus episode,
so it'll be loading up tomorrow on Wednesday. And he
wrote a book called The Prayer Experiment and this is
his first book, his debut, sort of like the author
of theo of Golden But what he did was he
started praying the Lord's Prayer and use that as an
outline to his prayers after going through a miscarriage and
(52:59):
then and he's a pastor that was like not praying
because he was like, I don't want to pray anymore.
So we decided to do dedicate an entire year to
praying a very specific way, and it transformed his prayer life.
So he wrote a book about it called The Prayer Experiment.
And I'll be sitting down with him or I already
did pre taped and it'll it'll load up tomorrow. But
(53:22):
I love Matt's smallbone. He's Australian, So if anything, tune
in for the accent. The accent and his cousins are
for King and Country. Do you know them? Yeah, And
I think that one of them has a publishing company.
They were the ones that I believe, like we're cheering
him on, like dude, dude, story quote to write to book.
Say dude, he says, I can only do it with
(53:46):
the with the words he says to me like aims.
He calls me Aim. That's my nickname, Aim. Hey, good
on you.
Speaker 3 (53:53):
Aim.
Speaker 4 (53:54):
He'll say good on you because I can repeat what
I hear him say. And then he said Ben my husband.
Even in the episode he goes, is it okay if
I say this? And I was like, well, we're recording
and he's like, Ben's one of my best mates and
I was like, that's I love that for y'all. So
best mate, Ben's one of my best mates.
Speaker 1 (54:13):
Australian and Irish accents are really hard to do, so yeah,
good on you for being so good.
Speaker 4 (54:19):
Good on ye. So if that's sort of your jam,
your thing, then check out that bonus episode tomorrow and
Kat and I will be back together on Thursday for
we're resuming our normal Couch Talks Q and A. Last
week we had an interview, I know, two interviews in
a week, one on Couch Talks one is a bonus episode,
but we are back to answering your questions. Yeah you
(54:44):
the listener.
Speaker 3 (54:45):
Well, to be fair, we answered their questions.
Speaker 4 (54:48):
Oh yeah, and just seeing David interview true true, true, Okay, Well,
we hope wherever you are, you have the day you
need to have. Bye bye
Speaker 1 (55:00):
Ooh
Hosts And Creators
Bobby Bones
Amy Brown
Lunchbox
Eddie Garcia
Morgan Huelsman
Raymundo
Mike D
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