New Rankings with Teddy!

Teddy welcomes back New Rankings film correspondent and James-Cameron-action-figure owner Kevin Best (Sequel Rewrite podcast) for a James-Cameron-movie-length discussion of the top 10 movies of 2017. Some of the films discussed include Coco, Logan, Kedi, Get Out, some cannibal movie that Kevin liked, The Florida Project, the season finale of Nathan for You, and of course, The Book of Henry. Additional conversations include: Why did...

Teddy got a new hat, and it's all he really wants to talk about anymore. On this New Rankings, he welcomes Emma back to predict the top ten hottest fashion trends of 2018, but mostly they just admire his hat. Additional topics of discussion include: the shockingly sustained relevance of the Big Dog brand, the "Coachella meets Renaissance Fair" look, the return of the dickprint, and 2018's color of the year -- it'...

Are you ready for some footbaw??? Just in time for the NFL playoffs (playoffs?!), Teddy welcomes his best man Jake Longstreth back onto New Rankings to draft their best fictional football squads, comprised of players from such classic gridiron tales as The Replacements, Friday Night Lights, Remember the Titans, and the Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon. Who will draft Forrest Gump in the second round? Who w...

Happy 2018! Teddy welcomes his sister, noted bookworm Kit Steinkellner, back onto the New Rankings Book Club to count down their top 7 reads from 2017. Along the way, they give insight into their favorite literary genres: depressing politics books and "trashy thrillers" for Teddy; Asian women fiction and monster dog stories for Kit. In addition, they debate the following pressing questions: Why do people still read Hemingwa...

Ho, ho, ho! On this episode of Yule Rankings, Teddy welcomes back Lindsey Toiaivao as they celebrate everyone's favorite holiday mascot-slash-horny dad, Santa Claus! Lindsey and Teddy rank their top ten Santas in film, fiction, and folklore, from Krampus to the Grinch, from Tim Allen to JTT. Additional pressing Santa questions include: Why is Jack Skellington the Macklemore of Santas? When will Mrs. Claus get something interest...

With the holidays approaching -- and with their childhood home facing the threat of a terrifying wildfire -- Teddy and Emma take a moment to count their blessings, Berenstain Bears-style, and rank their top ten fictional families ever. Some of the ohanas on their lists include: the Corleones, the Chipmunks, the Lannisters, the Brady Bunch, the Koopalings, Clan McDuck, and the Klumps. In addition, Em and Ted answer such pressing fic...

Who dem boys? *WE* dem boys! In this testosterone-fueled episode (recorded live from a boycation in Houston, Texas!), Teddy and his eternal bro Andrew Molina crack open some cold ones and count down the top eight ways to keep that bro bond alive, even as distance and adulthood try to get in the way. Discussion topics include: how to start your very own boys' book club or support group, "getting out there for a quick visit e...

Boomer versus Millennial. Rotary phones versus sexting. Sitcom jokes versus nonsense memes. Woman who thinks she's always right versus the devil boy she created in her own image. Yep, it's a generational battle here on New Rankings, as Teddy and his mother Cheri put the participation trophies aside and debate the top seven things Millennials and Baby Boomers can learn from each other. Vote for your champion, #TeamTeddy or #...

Put on your toga, grab some ambrosia, and avoid any nearby swans -- it's time to go Greek! In this episode, Teddy and his friend Sophie, host of the She's All Fat podcast (@shesallfatpod), rank their top eight gods and godesses of Greek antiquity. Discussion topics include why Sophie seemingly only likes boring gods, Teddy's mini-ranking of Zeus' most hilarious sex disguises, and the question of twincest between...

Apologies for the three-week delay in content, Teddy regrets.......... nothing! Because he was off getting married! And from now on, every episode of the show will be marriage-themed! In this podcast, Teddy and his new wife Courtney rank their top seven pieces of marriage advice, since now that they have been married two weeks, they are cool experts in the ways of love. Discussion topics include: healthy fighting rituals, peeing wi...

"The podcast... is coming... from inside the phone." In this episode, Teddy welcomes Kevin Best, host of the "Sequel Rewrite" podcast, back onto New Rankings, as they count down the top seven movies that most freaked them out as fifth graders at sleepovers. Discussion topics include: creepy copypastas, the Mandela Effect, the odd similarities between "The Blair Witch Project" and "Austin Powers," and...

"They did the draft... they did the monster draft!" In this Halloween spooktacular, the Steinkiller sibs assemble at the witching hour to prick their thumbs and pick the scariest, silliest monster squads. Memorable debates from the episode include: "Does a 'magical serial killer' qualify as a monster?" "Is Teddy just mansplaining the concept of monsters?" And "Wait, why the hell did Emma draft __...

In Part 2 of this very special New Rankings, Teddy and Bill Steinkellner, aka "the co-executive producer of 'Emeril,'" aka "Dad," finish their light-hearted romp through the top 10 funniest sitcom characters ever. Questions answered on this episode include: "Which sitcom star inspired Bill to abandon Catholicism and pursue a life in comedy?" "What iconic character's offspring was actually ins...

Hey Rank & File! Starting this week, we're trying something new. As you know, some of our episodes -- like a bad "Will & Grace" from 2002 -- tend to get a bit super-sized. Yet we don't want you to get overwhelmed week-to-week and miss out on any of this hot, hot content! So beginning now, we'll be chopping up some of our lengthier episodes into two-parters and releasing them in back-to-back weeks. Rank y...

This episode of New Rankings finally answers the age-old question: can a Millennial and a nonagenarian become the best of friends? Teddy's guest is literary luminary (and 94-year old!) Fred Klein, former executive editor of Bantam Books and host of the popular Santa Barbara TV show, "Literary Gumbo." In a wide-ranging conversation, Ted and Fred discuss the thriller genre, ranking their top seven favorites from such mast...

Yes, it's officially fall: the kids are back in school, the apples are ripe for the picking, and all of the new TV shows are complete and utter garbage. Luckily, Teddy and Kit are here to help you out with that last one. In this episode, the self-important Steinkellner sibs rank their top seven criminally underseen television shows, ranging from foreign favorites (Fauda, Borgen) to tween treasures (Jane by Design, Veronica Mars...

Y is this the most dramatic New Rankings yet? O, U will C... In this episode, Teddy is joined by his friends, improvisers Max Sosna-Spear and James Mannion, for a topical twist on a standard ranking -- it's a fantasy draft! Only instead of picking football players for pretend points and imaginary teams, the boys are up to something even stupider: they're drafting letters of the alphabet. Hot debate topics include: Is J the ...