Episode Transcript
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(00:05):
I'm Amber, and this is about IBD.I'm a medical writer and patient
educator who lives with a Jpouch due to ulcerative colitis.
It's my mission to educate peopleliving with Crohn's disease or
ulcerative colitis about theirdisease, and to bring awareness
to the patient journey.Welcome to episode 179.
Having a form of IBD affects allaspects of our lives.
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This includes our relationshipto religion and spirituality.
Many people with chronic illnesslook to their religious beliefs
for comfort when coping with theups and downs of their condition.
However, there are many ways inwhich caring for one's IBD and
observing religious practicescan be in opposition.
This includes following a dietfor IBD that doesn't include
religious foods or allows forperiods of fasting.
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There may also be exams, tests,or treatments that don't
accommodate religious beliefs.My guest is Hindi Klein Hindi is
a member of the Orthodox Jewishcommunity.
Hindi has discovered that she hasto carefully advocate for herself
in order to both receive the careshe needs and educate health
care providers on Jewish law.She also describes the support
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she's received from her community,and how being open about her life
with Crohn's disease on socialmedia has affected her both
mentally and spiritually. Hindi.Welcome to about IBD. Thank you. Hi.
Let's first start with anintroduction so our listeners can
know a little bit more about you.Would you please tell us a little
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bit more about yourself? Sure.So I'm Hindi and I have what we
call Crohn's colitis.I was originally diagnosed with
ulcerative colitis,later changed to Crohn's.
And at this point we're not surewhich one it is.
So we just call it Crohn's colitis.Professionally,
I have worn many different hats.I've done quite a few totally
different things in the past.Right now I'm focusing on being a
(01:55):
mom to my kids and I also do somesocial media content creation,
which is sort of like a hobbymore than a profession for me.
I grew up in New York and about30 minutes from New York City,
and now I live in South Florida.Wow. So you have gone.
You've gone the whole spectrum.You've been diagnosed with like
every different form of IBD.How has that affected you?
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Were you surprised at thesedifferences in diagnoses or did
it make sense? Yeah.So when I was diagnosed with
ulcerative colitis, I was really,really sick at that point.
And I remember like, I was trying tofind something to be grateful for.
And I was grateful that it'scolitis and not Crohn's because
for some reason, in my mind. Yes.In my mind, I knew that Crohn's
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can affect anywhere from the mouthall the way down to the anus.
It just sounded so much worsethan my mind.
So I was like, okay,at least it's only colitis.
So then when I was diagnosedwith Crohn's, it Crohn's.
It felt like a huge blow and Iwas I was very upset about it.
Um, and I went through thatgrieving process again.
Um, as time went on,I realized there is no difference.
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My case was extreme either way,honestly.
And then when my doctors, like,once I moved here to Florida,
is when my doctor startedquestioning my diagnosis again.
It just created confusion,to be honest.
Um, at this point,I'm still pretty confused about it.
I'm not sure what to call it.I stuck with Crohn's just
because I got used to callingthat for so many years.
Yeah, and do you think that it'seasier to describe it to people,
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for instance,outside of the IBD community and
outside of the medical community?If you just say Crohn's because
people have heard of it largely.Yeah, definitely.
Has that really affected yourtreatment, though?
It seems like ulcerative colitisand Crohn's disease are treated
with a lot of the same medications.But did you need to change things
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up when the diagnosis changed.I don't remember what difference
it made when my doctor changedmy diagnosis.
I was still in pediatric inthose days. Yeah, at this point.
So the difference that my doctorexplained is if so,
it affects my colon.So if I ever need surgery,
the difference would be.With Crohn's they usually just
remove the disease portionbecause it would still they
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could still come back anywhere.Versus with all sort of colitis I
believe they remove the entire colon.Like let's just get it out. Yeah.
So that would be the differencedown the line medications.
Most of them do treat both likeyou said.
Um, at this point I'm on Inoviowhich does treat both.
So there is no real difference.Right? How do you feel, though.
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About being in the community andthen feeling a little bit like you
don't have a really firm diagnosis?Does that change how you relate
to other people within the IBDcommunity. That much I do have.
IBD. Um, yeah.I do find that I've experienced
things that nobody else hasexperienced in certain ways.
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Um, which makes me feel a littlebit like the odd one out.
But for the most part, I don't.I don't notice anything.
That makes sense.I understand what you were
saying about the differencebetween ulcerative colitis and
Crohn's disease.When I was diagnosed,
it was long enough ago that theyreally did make the two diseases
sound totally different, and thatthey did make Crohn's disease sound a
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lot worse than the things that Iwas reading and come to find out.
I mean, honestly, it's six of oneand a half dozen of the other,
you know, truthfully.But I understand where you were
coming from with that,because I believe I did have
people actually say that to me.At least it's not Crohn's, which is a
wild thing to say to somebody. But.So that that's not really our
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topic today.Uh, our topic today is faith and how
it intersects with a chronic illness,like living with an IBD.
So let's first begin with abackground handy.
I wonder if you would tell us a bitabout your religious background.
I was born Jewish.My family is very Orthodox,
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specifically Hasidic.My family background is very
European.My great grandparents all lived
in Europe before the Holocaust.My father's side of the family
emigrated to Israel before theHolocaust, so they didn't actually
go through the Holocaust.My mother's grandparents did go
through the Holocaust.My mother's father actually grew
up in Brazil.That's where my great grandparents
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went to after the Holocaust.But my parents both grew up in
the US.They were born and raised in the US,
but they do have that verystrong European background.
And my father also has a bit ofthat Israeli culture mixed in.
I grew up in a very Orthodoxcommunity and went to an all girls
school. Our day was split in half.In the mornings we were taught Jewish
studies and in the afternoon we weretaught secular studies along the
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level of all the other schools.I think our school day was
longer than the average school,but we had that morning time where
we were taught Jewish studies.My husband's background is
slightly different than mine,but similar enough.
He's fourth generation American fromhis mother's side of the family,
so he didn't really grow up with asmuch of that European mentality.
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Right now, we don't live in aHasidic community here in Florida,
but my husband and I still considerourselves Hasidic, though some
will say that we're pretty unique.And so how do you find this balance?
Because you're managing the IBD.You are observing holidays
according to your faith.And how do you make adaptations
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around keeping those two thingstogether?
Okay, so first I want to explainto those who are not so familiar
with what Shabbat and what ourholidays look like.
So Shabbat is what we call everySaturday.
It's our day of rest and wedon't use any technology,
so I won't use my phone.We don't drive cars,
we don't turn lights on and offand all that kind of stuff.
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And then we have some holidaysthroughout the year.
Not all of them,but many of them have similar laws
as Shabbat with slight variations.So on a weekly basis,
on a regular Shabbat, it doesn'treally interfere with my IBD,
except that I very much look forwardto it, because I get to catch up on
some much needed rest and sleep.There's nothing else to do.
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It's just family time and wejust get to relax.
Food wise, it could affect me.We have.
We eat very large meals on Shabbat,so at home I figured out what to eat.
That makes me feel good.When we get invited out is a
little bit more of a challenge.And then the holidays, we usually
tend to go away or eat out more sothat you know, was a challenge again
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and also specifically Passover.We have much stricter rules
regarding food, and they're notnecessarily IBD friendly.
So I know that we all, you know,the whole Jewish IBD community,
it's a big topic for us how toget through it.
Another challenge is being in thehospital over Shabbat or holidays.
I had that recently.Another challenge is experiencing
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an emergency on Shabbat orholidays because I can't use my
phone to contact my doctor.Another challenge is if a holiday
falls out during the week,so we have a different calendar
than the regular calendar.So it could be, you know,
the holidays always fall out indifferent days of the week
depending on the Jewish calendar.So if it falls out during the
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weekend, I'm waiting to hearback from my doctor.
It could be a little anxietyprovoking to not be able to
communicate.We have two big ones and then some
smaller ones throughout the year.We have fast days so that could
be challenging as well.Another challenge I had this
recently actually, is I was waitingto have a seat and topography and
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they didn't have any soon enough.Any available appointments.
Soon enough they did offer me one onSaturday, but I had to decline. Mhm.
So regarding the hospital,the challenges there is that there's
so much electricity involved.So like adjusting the bed up and
down, unplugging the IV pole everytime I want to go to the bathroom.
So I'm not going to go into detailabout what my rabbi advised me to do,
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because I think everyone needsto ask their own rabbi.
There are definitely leniency forpeople who are dealing with illness.
The beauty of Judaism is thatwe're meant to live by the laws
and not suffer because of them.It's a big part of Judaism, so there
are many ways to work around therules to make things more manageable.
Uh, for those of us who havemedical challenges.
So the same also is for fast days.So especially for women,
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we easily get away with fastingthe little fast.
I've never fasted those, but the twothere are two big fast Asian Kippur.
And then there's another one inthe summer.
Um, so those of us who have a hardtime fasting due to medical issues,
we could also ask a rabbi andget quote unquote permission.
Not too fast. And I want to be clear.It's not that we need.
It's not that the rabbi controlswhat we do.
It's just like, you know,how you run certain some things
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by your doctor to make sure thatit's you're doing the right thing
because they're more knowledgeablein the intricacies of everything.
So the same way rabbis moreknowledgeable in the intricacies
of Jewish law.So I like to run things by my
rabbi to make sure that I'm doingthe right thing by not fasting.
Um, I also want to mention thatJewish law is all about, um, human
life being the most important thing,and we're required to break the laws
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of Shabbat in order to save a life,even if it's only like a
situation that could potentiallybecome life threatening.
We break Shabbat. It comes first.Um, I had it recently.
A few months ago, I had, uh,something happened where there
was a chance that it might turninto something.
I opened my phone, called my doctor.I had my phone on me till they called
me back. There was no problem.Right now,
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if there's something I couldanticipate before Shabbat or holiday.
Then I'll be proactive and reach outto my rabbi and ask for guidance.
But like I said, if somethingoccurs on Shabbat or holiday,
I'll always trust my gut and earn theside of caution and break the laws.
If you know if I need to.If you do need to break one of the
laws and you didn't anticipate it.Is there anything that you need
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to do afterward?Do you need to go and speak to
your rabbi and discuss it,for instance? So. I don't have to.
If I ever not sure,did I do the right thing, did I not?
Then I might run it by my rabbiand be like, hey,
did I do the right thing?What would I do if this comes up
again? That makes sense.
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Coming up.Hindi tells us why keeping her
journey private was worse forher than being public.
As you're coping with the upsand downs of IBD, what helps you
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cope spiritually and mentally?So I very much believe that every
person in this world is in thisworld to accomplish something.
Every person is different andunique because they each have a
unique mission in this world.So I'd like to look at my
journey as my compass of life.So everything I go through leads
me to where I'm meant to be.Um, good or bad?
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Looking back, I can always seehow whatever I went through has
brought me to where I am now,has brought people into my life,
and has taught me lessons, um,has and also shaped me to who I am.
You know how I cope with differentthings and how I view life and
different, even just people.So when I'm down,
it helps to know that this isjust part of a big picture.
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There have been times when I washard on myself.
Like,why can't I see the bigger picture
and just not be so sad and down?But I've come to realize that no, I
can't always see the bigger picture.But I do know that it's leading me
somewhere, and I'm going to havethat to look back at once I'm out
of this, and then when I'm up,I can always appreciate what it took
to get me to where I am. Mhm. Hindi.In the planning of this episode,
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you mentioned to me offline thatthe Orthodox community tends to be
more private about certain issues,and chronic illness is one of
those issues.So I wonder if you would explain
what is prompting you to shareyour journey more publicly. Sure.
So I'm going to speak for mycommunity, which is the
Ashkenazi Jewish community.It definitely varies in
(14:30):
different communities.So my community were largely
from Europe.So, like I explained,
the European mentality is verymuch to keep things very private.
My grandparents specifically arevery fine and proper people.
They don't talk about certain things.My grandmother won't even say
the word pregnant. Oh goodness.So when I was first diagnosed,
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my parents kept my diagnosis ahuge secret.
Everyone knew I was very sick.It was very obvious.
It was impossible to hide it, butnobody knew what my diagnosis was.
I was young and I just wentalong with it.
I was also very, very private backthen and had a very hard time
even talking about my symptoms.But then once I became an adult
a few years later, I realized Ineeded support. I felt very alone.
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I felt like I was the only one thatever went through anything like this.
And slowly, slowly, I started openingup to people about my story, started
telling people that I have Crohn's,and I found so much healing in that.
And I realized that I have apassion for showing others that
it can be done.You know that you don't have to
keep it a secret.Also, my husband, as I explained,
is more American, so he has lessof this private mentality.
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And he has also helped me becomemore open to sharing as well.
I actually had a few friends whowere extremely private.
They were so scared to shareanything about their condition,
not just Crohn's,but like other things as well.
And I'm going to pat myself onthe back for inspiring them to,
you know, become more open about it.Like they would join only join
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virtual support groups withanonymous names like that's how
private they were about it.And they've told me that it was
it's been life changing for them.Like they practiced specifically
telling people strangers aboutit just because it gives them
such a good feeling to be openabout it and not keep it inside.
This only helped my passion grow,and I realized that by being the
one to share my story publiclyon Instagram, it's pretty scary,
(16:18):
I'm not gonna lie.Um,
but I realized it's going to createa change on a much larger scale.
I don't believe everyone needsto go so public with our story,
but I want to help people realizethat you don't have to have shame,
fear, and stigma with your condition.That's incredible.
You really are making a huge amountof change in in people's lives.
And not just people that you don'tknow, but people that you do
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actually know, which is, you know,absolutely, totally inspiring.
And I wonder, though, with itbeing so difficult to even discuss
your symptoms, how does that makedoctor's appointments challenging?
It was very challenging at thispoint.
I'm totally not like that anymore.I think I could discuss anything
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on my visits.I don't need any coaxing,
but back then I actually had anincredible nurse practitioner.
Um, we had a great relationship.I really trusted her and she
looked at me in the eye and oneday she's like, Hindi.
I love to talk about poop,so please talk to me about it.
And that really,that really did the trick.
It really I'm not going to sayit was like overnight, like,
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yeah, um, 180 degree change.But it did slowly show me that?
Oh, I'm talking to people whowant to hear about it.
And there are people I can trustso I can tell them about it.
Totally. Oh, that's.I'm so glad that you had that
experience.And it gave you permission to
actually discuss what's going onwith you, because you can't get
any better if people don'tactually know what's happening.
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So also, my doctor has learned thatwhen I say that I'm good, that
means that I'm good. That's funny.I was just having a conversation
today with somebody where we weretalking about how when someone asks
us how we are, the answer is, I'mfine, but you're never fine, right?
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That's not truly what's going on.It's just that actually explaining
what's happening with you issometimes it's, like, too long.
It's gonna take too much.I'm fine. Exactly. Hindi.
Are there any myths or misconceptionsthat you've seen about what it means
to live with a chronic illness?As an Orthodox Jew.
(18:28):
So when I lived in New York, I thinkthat all medical professionals like,
received like I think the bighospitals there gave all their,
um, employees training on,I think, all religions.
But I've seen it with, um, Judaismand they were all very educated.
Like if I would have a male doctor,he would walk into the room.
He wouldn't offer to shake my hand.For those who are not familiar.
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Not everyone is very carefulwith this, but I don't.
I wouldn't shake the hand ofsomeone of the opposite gender.
But here in Florida, I don'tfind that to be the case at all.
I find that one of my doctors isJewish.
She's a little more familiar thanthe other ones, but my other
doctors really don't know muchabout any of the Jewish laws.
Recently, I actually saw a maledoctor and he didn't know about
(19:12):
not shaking my hand.So he walked out and he offered his
hand and I explained to him thatI'm Jewish and I don't shake hands
with anyone of the opposite gender.Later on, I went back to my visit
notes, and I saw that he wrotethat I declined a physical exam
because of religious reasons.And that's a big misconception. Yeah.
For medical purposes,I'm allowed to have a male touch me,
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which is for social reasons. I'm not.Another thing is that maybe this is
protocol, but before my surgeries,I always get asked if I'm willing
to receive blood transfusions.I know some other religions
wouldn't accept blood transfusions,but for us, it definitely is.
Yes, I've actually receivedblood transfusions in the past.
Like I mentioned earlier,our priority is life.
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We value life a lot, and whateverit takes to save a life, we do it.
I think that people don't realizehow much, how much nuance there is.
Yeah, there's a lot,a lot of nuance. Hindi.
Are there any particular prayersor teachings that you turn to
for comfort and strength?So I'm not very into prayer.
(20:16):
I never really connected to that.I also like to form a deep
connection,like with my soul and with God.
So there's a concept in Judaismcalled emunah.
And so those are Hebrew words thatmean belief and trust in God.
I like to learn a lot about whatthat looks like and how I could
apply it to myself.I'm always a work in progress,
but overall I try to let go andleave things up to God.
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The more I'm able to do that,the easier it is for me to cope
with things mentally. Um.I've come to a place of fully
trusting that God does not make anymistakes, and all my health struggles
are part of my purpose in this world.Um, this gives me a lot of peace.
And it's part of why I'm sopassionate about sharing my
journey publicly.I feel that by inspiring others
and helping others and fulfillingwhat God has intended for me to
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accomplish in this world throughmy health struggles,
this is why he gave it to me.The messages I receive,
such incredible messages on my page,and those like people tell me
that you know how much it meansfor them to see what I share.
And those messages havedefinitely affirmed that,
you know, this concept for me.And they really keep me going. Mhm.
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And support from the IBDcommunity is so important.
It's a huge part of the journey.What kind of support have you
received from the Jewish communityor through your synagogue?
And then I wonder if you wouldalso tell me a little bit more
about the support that youreceive sharing your journey on
Instagram and other places? Sure.So there's so much I hope I
(21:50):
remember everything.Um, that's something about the
Jewish community where there'san organization for everything.
We're very into helping eachother out.
Um, so specifically for what I dealwith, there are some incredible
organizations out there,and they've helped me a lot.
I'll talk about my hospitalexperience.
Um, each day it was Passover.So there were volunteers that came by
(22:10):
my room to offer kosher for Passoverhome cooked food so I wouldn't
have to eat the hospital food.Um, somebody, a different
volunteer would come by also andask if there's anything I need
at all so she can get it for me,or take care or arrange or anything.
Um, also in the case I would bedischarged on the holiday.
They have a service that I canhave the hospital call, and they
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would send a car to take me home.Also, in all the big hospitals,
they have a kosher room withfood stacked up.
So if anyone ends up in thehospital at any time, they always
have access to kosher food.Um, that has been tremendous.
Not just now,but anytime I've been hospitalized.
I actually met some of my bestIBD friends through some of
these organizations.They have some support groups,
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um, virtual support groups,even in person.
Another story I had recently isthat I've been trying to get in
to see a certain specialist.There's another condition I
suspect I might have.Um, and the disappointment they
had available was in six months.So I actually posted about it on my
Instagram page, and several peoplereached out suggesting different
organizations I could reach out to.So there's one that's known to
(23:14):
help patients get appointmentsthat they need sooner.
Um, but they're based in New York.So I reached out to them and they
told me they probably can't do much.They're going to try to help.
A different friend reached out to me.She's a nurse, and she's on a
chat with a bunch of nurses.And the purpose is to try to
help other people.So she posted it on that chat,
and she got me a contact for someonethat's part of an organization here
(23:38):
in Florida. I got in touch with him.He got in touch with a doctor
that works with his doctor,and I got an appointment for
this Wednesday. Oh my gosh.Yeah, that's six months sooner than I
would have gotten otherwise. Yeah.Also, when I was recently
hospitalized, I had surgery.Um, my community stepped in
tremendously to support me.Um, so it happened while I was
(23:58):
out of state, and they all didso much for me. They sent gifts.
They, um, offered to send food.They offered to take care of my kids,
which I didn't need to take themupon up on.
But, um, just having thatsupport just meant so much,
and it really kept me afloat.And then once I got back here to
Florida, the women from my synagogueset up a meal train so that I had
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time to settle back into routinewithout having to cook for my family.
Wow. That's amazing.I found it scary watching you're
watching your journey on Instagramwhen you were hospitalized like
that and you weren't.You weren't even at home.
You were away from home.That was really something else.
I'm so glad you had all thatsupport at that time.
It's really what kept me going.Yeah. Gosh.
(24:43):
So how about in the IBD community?How has sharing your story and
getting more involved affected you?So it has given me such a strong
feeling of fulfillment, like nothingever has other than being a mom.
I've come to learn that what I feelso passionate about something,
then that's a clear sign thatit's my mission.
Like my God's plan for me and mymission in this world.
(25:05):
Um, and this really helps mewhen I'm in pain or dealing with
a challenging situation.I can understand that there's
purpose behind it.I love that that's how you think
of it, because sometimes it's hardto see what the overall reason for
things are, and but trusting thatthere is a good reason for it.
Um, I think is is a big comfort.I should say it's a lot easier
(25:26):
said than done.I'm not perfect about this 100% of
the time, but I think having it inthe back of my mind really just helps
me stay afloat. Yeah, definitely.So, Hinda, you are a mom.
I wonder, could you tell me alittle bit about your kids? Sure.
So I have a five year old daughter.She's a Covid baby.
(25:47):
She was born at the end of Marchin 2020.
And then I have a set of twins,a boy and a girl. They.
They're actually turning threesoon in August.
Um, they were born when mydaughter was two and four months.
So that was a bit of a hectictwo and a half years.
I feel like now it's starting toget a little easier.
My twins are much more independentnow. They are so cute.
(26:10):
I love to see them on your Instagram.And so I'm going to lobby for as
much content with your kidsinvolved as possible,
because I love to see it. Thank you.Do you have a specific
gratefulness practice?I don't, and I'm not going to say
(26:31):
this is for everyone, but for me,I am naturally a positive person
and I find that I have a tendencyto lean towards toxic positivity.
So for some reason, I find that if Ifocus too much on being grateful,
I don't give myself space to sitin my negative feelings and I
think I need to learn that more.I don't,
(26:52):
I don't focus on being grateful.I think I I'm pretty good about it.
Naturally. Great. Great.Well, you can always sit next to me.
So anyway.Andy, I want our listeners to be
able to find you online.So where can people find you?
So my Instagram handle is hopein Hindi. I'll spell that.
(27:12):
It's h o p e I n h I n d.I love interacting with my followers.
My DMs are always open.My favorite part of Instagram is
getting those DMs and I alwayskeep my DMs private.
I never share with anyone.I never share screenshots.
Nothing like that.So you know, if you feel like it,
reach out to me. I'd love to chat.I love that you brought that up
(27:35):
because I. I am the same.I will keep DMs private and even,
uh, other, you know, any form ofcommunication, any patient that's
reaching out to me about something.I always keep that private.
I would I would never share ascreenshot of it.
So I'm so glad that you broughtthat up.
(27:55):
So to point it out that it is a safespace to discuss things, it's not
going to go any further than the DMs.And I'm very non-judgmental that
people tell me, like,I I've had it where people are,
like, so hesitant to share somethingwith me because I might judge.
I I'll never judge. Yeah.I've been through enough of my
(28:16):
own things and I always had thatfear of judgment.
So I know there's always areason behind whatever anyone is
dealing with and the way theycope with things 100%.
Totally, totally agree with thatHindi. This episode was your idea.
You came to me and you offeredyourself up.
I'm so grateful for that.Thank you so much for everything that
(28:37):
you're doing for the IBD communitybecause it is so very needed.
I was trying to do some moreresearch on this topic and was
not coming up with very much. So.Hopefully after people listen to
this, there'll be some more thingsthat we can engage with in talking
about how faith and IBD intersect.So thank you so much.
Thank you so much for having me.Hey super listener.
(29:03):
Thanks to Hindi Klein for beingso transparent about her journey.
I looked into the research onfaith and IBD or chronic illness
in general, and there's not a lotof research in this area, nor is
there a lot of discussion about it.I hope Hindus work is the beginning
of a larger conversation.As always,
links to a written transcript,everyone's social media handles and
(29:25):
more information on the topics wediscussed is in the show notes and on
my episode 179 page on about IBD.Thanks for listening.
And remember, until next time,I want you to know more about IBD.
About IBD is a production ofMail and Tail Enterprises.
(29:47):
It is edited, written, produced,and directed by me, Amber Mixon.
Sound design is by Matt Cooney.Theme music is from Cooney Studio.