Logan Ury - How to Not Die Alone

Description: Logan Ury is the Director of Relationship Science at Hinge, where she leads a research team dedicated to helping people find love and, ultimately, delete the Hinge app. Before joining Hinge, she partnered with Dan Ariely and Kristen Berman to run the behavioral economics unit at Google, advising on marketing and product design strategy across the company. Logan’s new book, “How to Not Die Alone,” will be released on February 2nd. Logan joins Erik and Zarak in this episode to discuss her upcoming book and her journey from Harvard to Google to Hinge, where she takes her expertise in decision-making and applies it to helping people make better decisions about dating and relationships. They tackle questions like why people usually view relationships as different from other behavioral changes they consciously want to improve.

 

Dating as we know it really only started around the very end of the 19th century. Online dating began around 1994, and dating via smartphone apps only started about 10 years ago. All of these choices and the volume of potential partners is a totally new phenomenon that our brains have not yet adapted to account for. Logan explains that dating, like any other skill, is something we can be bad at, and then through effort we can get better at. Most people have read books about personal finance, or dieted, or worked out with a personal trainer, and done many other things where we spend time and energy trying to improve in important life areas. But her research has found that most of those same people view dating as a “choosing” problem, when it’s really an effort problem.  

 

So whether you’re single or in a committed relationship, get ready to think about the intersection of dating, relationships, and behavior in a brand new way!

 

Quote: “People don’t think that they need to be taught how to date,” Logan says. “They think that dating is natural. And the logical error there is that dating is not the same as love. So I agree that love is this natural phenomenon, it’s a chemical reaction, it’s the oxytocin, it’s bonding with your child – it’s falling in love, right? It’s all of those things. But dating is not the same as love, and dating is a relatively new phenomenon in the history of humankind.”