724 AITA for bringing food to my friend's party? (ft. Karla & Dani Adaliz)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, everybody, Woke Day Day Pod. I'm Danny Vega, joined
by Carla. Hey everyone and our special guests for today.
It's Danny Adalis. I haven't mastered your name.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
I know you should because you're Caribbean. I feel like
you should be good at the Caribbean name.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
No, it should be better.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Shame, shame, shame, that's.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Fair, that's fair. But I'm excited because you are a
personal chef I am. You're giving me a great little
cookie tip yesterday. I did.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
You made such good cookies.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
They're delicious. They really were so good.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
I'm learning the art of the cookie. I got a
little cocky on a previous episode said cookies were easy,
and I was deeply humbled as all my chocolate chips melted.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
But it works so beautifully. It was a happy accident.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
Was a happy accident anyway, I wanted to tell you.
I think Carla knows the story, but I had an
incident with someone who's sort of a I guess you
could say, sort of a little chef. So basically what
happened was, I have game nights here and I hired
this person to come to cook for the game night.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
And she hired me. I wouldn't for free, now, you.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Know, done by the goods and so basically yeah, they
they and I said, because I'm like this, you know,
and actually I kind of my friend, as Joanne actually said,
this was kind of a Latino thing, which is like
there's a little bit less like like she's always like
I would invite my doctor to my wedding, like white
people don't do shit like that. Yeah, and so I

(01:33):
don't know if this fits the bill, but I was
just like, yeah, you know, you can bring the food,
and of course you can play the games with us,
like you can be part of the game night, Like
why not that's crazy, like yeah not. Yeah, So anyway,
the food is great. She killed it. I loved it,
but she just like kind of never acknowledged the fact
that like I paid, I paid her to do it, right,

(01:54):
and she didn't thank me. She didn't say like, oh
and thanks to Danny for having me here, like just
nothing like that, and yeah, just kind of I was
kind of like I'm not mad, but I'm just like
not gonna hire you again. And I am, well yeah,
and I was just like I'm not going to give
you that feedback either, like if she had asked me
like any feedback then I would have, but I was like,

(02:14):
I'm not gonna go out of my way, but yeah,
I'm curious. Is that obvious? What's your what's your take there?

Speaker 2 (02:20):
Interesting? I mean, I don't know. I mean to me personally,
this is just like a personal level, like I'm always
just like very gracious when I do anything, mostly out
of like just like who I am and in my personality.
But also if I even if I don't like the person,
that's out of my own anxiety, you know, like I
want the feedback, like I like, thank you for having me,
thank you for letting me stay, like this has been

(02:41):
so fun, thank you so much, like you know, just
even something like that. But also like I don't know
if it I don't know if I would uh completely
like especially if, like you know, she provided and she
did the thing and didn't have any problems other than that,
I wouldn't I wouldn't necessarily write her off for it.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
I have a question.

Speaker 4 (03:00):
Sure was there ever a moment where you also thanked
her and acknowledged her.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Uh No, people thanked her, thanked her.

Speaker 4 (03:12):
But you were never like and thank you to Joanna
for making all the food tonight.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
I mean I think that was sad. I think I did,
and I said, the food is incredible. I gave her
lots of.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
Compliment o case okay, okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
And she just she just never called out like and
people actually said, oh, should we pay her for the food?
And I was like, oh, motherfucker, I paid for the food.
So that's what was frustrating to me as a customer.
I was kind of like, I just feel like, there's.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
It wasn't clear that you provided the service.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Yes, And I wasn't going to be like, by the way, everyone,
I paid for her to be here, you know, so
to me and yeah, yeah, it's.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
A your m iv asshole.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
I really didn't do anything. I mean I didn't to
all my closest friends who came, I was like, yeah,
I mean I just kind of felt like it was
a miss. It was whack, you know, like I felt
like it was a no good deed goes unpunished because
I was like, I let you be part of the
game night, which created a sense that you weren't here
as like a provider. That created a sense of equality,

(04:12):
and then everyone assumed that you just did this out
of your own good will. And I was like, well, no,
I paid for the food, like I paid for you
to be here, like it was kind of my kindness.
You kind of stole my valor, babe.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, I get that I didn't have to. I didn't
necessarily think about it that way. I appreciate that. I
don't know, I still kind of feel like, maybe give
her one more shot. If you liked everything.

Speaker 4 (04:33):
I think if you give her another shot, what you
could do differently is say, like I will be that
person who was like, hey, guys, so I hired Joanna
again to make food for everyone.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Well, actually so, I complained to one of my friends
and then he left a very like, very like on
the nose comment on the particle, just like thanks so
much for having me, Danny. It sure was nice of
you to get the great catering, like really like overlea.

Speaker 5 (05:01):
Yeah, yeah, I think, like you know, it could slice
it either way, but I feel like if you enjoyed
it and she provided a great service, like and you
would like to use her again, I don't see why not.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
But also if it.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Were me, it left a bad taste in my mouth.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Oh well, if it were me and you wanted to
hire me, and you just want to buy the food
and I'll just like hang out and cook for you,
like you wouldn't have to pay me.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
Then you have to pay her by inviting me to
the game night.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, you do get invited.

Speaker 4 (05:27):
Oh yeah, Well, can I say something as well, a
little off topic here, but aligned which is I just
want to say when I created my premiere that was
last night on the day, it conflicted with Danny's game night,
and I was like, I kind of told him right
before he put the particle out, even though it was
weeks in the process of already being the same day.

(05:47):
And then we had a little text conversation back and forth.
Then I was like, why'd you send out the partifle
when my event is the same night because I wanted.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
Him to be there.

Speaker 4 (05:56):
Oh and then eventually you changed the date of it,
and that meant a lot to me.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
So I just wanted to thank you for that because
I'm glad you got to be there.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
This is the intelligent person. I said that when we
were off the thing, and I just want the people
to know that Danny is a very kind, emotionally intelligent person.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
They know maybe I also know when I wasn't so cool.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
We all grow, we're.

Speaker 4 (06:17):
Growing all that to say, I do think I have
also been the person who even last night, at the
end of the Q and A, I was like, oh
my god, Jesmina did like all of this research for
the Q and A and everything, and I barely remember
to thank her at the end. And it's just because
a lot is going on. I don't know if this
person I was thinking that for you, So it is.
I think maybe we don't have to talk.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
For about it, but maybe you're still defending her. But
there was a lot of moving parts last night. And
so I'm happy you said that because yeah, I mean
I was a little I was. I was a little
huffed because I made cookies and you never thanked me either,
and that is very clever. Until today, obviously a lot
of shit was going down. It was a huge event. Yeah,
and congrats on that.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
Thanks.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Wait what's your astrological time? Sad? Interesting love satges. I'm
an Aquarius, so we're dustin best friends. But sad.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
But also I thought I thought you were maybe a
Virgo or Earth sign, because Earth signs you're like this too.
They are very they need they need the gratitude train.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
Let me in a box. It's true.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
They need the gratitude train. That's very important to them.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
So I already called carl out on the bonus for this,
but we're just gonna We're just gonna briefly touch on
it again. I did make cookies for her event, and
she didn't thank me, which we have established was for
multifaceted reasons. She instead posted on instant story that I,
what did you say?

Speaker 3 (07:37):
I would love it if instead you said she forgot
to think.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
She forgot to thank me, And then what did you
post an insist story about my cookies?

Speaker 4 (07:44):
I posted a video of the cookies and the food,
and I said, Danny on his trad wife thang and
the other Danny who's here helped set up thank you.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah. So I was emasculated that was how Carla chose
to compensate me for.

Speaker 4 (07:57):
My thrashing me through the mud today, Danny, because now
I feel like, after the first episode we talked about it,
now you're kind of doing.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
The main it was. It was a but no, you
explained it perfectly. It was a huge event and it
was a microbotch and we already talked about but I
wanted to reiterate it that it was, you know, it
was toxic masculinity, I think right. And again I'm not
trying to rehash it. Remember I'm talking for the main audience,
so I'm not trying to relitigate this with you.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Sorry, if it's coming on.

Speaker 4 (08:31):
It just feels like now that we're just breezing by
and I don't even have an opportunity to say anything.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
No, But whatever it was, I honestly think it was good.
I think it's a good conflict because look, I think
it was basically our first conflict.

Speaker 5 (08:44):
And.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (08:49):
The first conflict was at camera's party, which we are
we haven't.

Speaker 3 (08:53):
Talked about that.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Let's settle, Okay.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
All I want to say about the I kind of
want to go there. Can we just finish the traadway?

Speaker 4 (09:00):
Yeah, So basically what we had talked about in the
other episode was I acknowledged that that you felt that way,
and I did not mean for it to come out.
I was using trad wife in my like literal sense
of traditional wife. But then we talked about how that
is demasculating, emasculating, and so it was intention versus impact,

(09:20):
and I apologized.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
And you're clean, and I'm and I'm sorry for relitigating
it in this way. It was for the show's purpose,
but I'm happy we could go to Cameras. So we
were at a party and Carlo says, you give me
a ride at one am, and my I have this
back pain, which fortunately has largely subsided.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
I'm sorry subsided, which is good. No, I'm just sorry
about backpaine, chronic pains, terrible, fucking worse. It's really bad.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
And this is my account of what happened is I
then annoyingly admittingly said like, hey, can we leave a
little earlier, And at one point you pivoted and we're like, yes,
we could leave right now, and then you change your
mind again, and so eventually I just got frustrated because
I was honestly in agony and all I wanted to
do is be in the fetal position, right And I

(10:05):
did apologize when I got home.

Speaker 4 (10:07):
You did apologize, yes, But when you did blow.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Up, it was kind of everything I didn't blow up.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
I think other people will say otherwise you kind of
you were like very aggressively, like you said.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
We were gonna leave, and now we're not leaving. I
would have called a number earlier.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
I don't think I even said used that I think
I promise you that everyone there had had quite a
few drinks, and I said, you said you were going,
You said we were gonna leave, like maybe I said that.

Speaker 4 (10:35):
It was it was aggressive enough where Anna my friends
spoke out and said, who the hell is this guy
Wysey talking you like that?

Speaker 3 (10:41):
And everybody else there? But I did it.

Speaker 4 (10:43):
The thing is, Danny, when you said that, I didn't
even I didn't feel disrespected because I knew you were
in back pain. I was like, oh, this is a
reaction for him leaving. I had no effect. What happened
after that was a whole different thing that we're not
going to get into. But that's why I was like, oh,
I don't really have to have this conversation with Danny
because I understood why.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
And I think we're a little we're a little sloppy
because you did change your mind, and that's where I
got frustrated you. It was fair. I was like, it
was fair.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
That's why I just like, it wasn't one am yet
to be fair?

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Well, but you pivoted and then you change your mind.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
I've done Carla like that in different ways too, so
she knows her peope.

Speaker 4 (11:21):
Well, so the reason that I pivoted just for your
understanding of things, which it doesn't matter because what happened happened.
But like I did have the intention to leave early
when we said that, and then literally as we were
about to leave, I was looking around at everything that
needs to be cleaned up and the lack of people there,
and I was like, I don't want to leave camera
with all of this ship to do.

Speaker 3 (11:42):
So then I switched it again. So that was shitty.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
I went back and forty I played guilty on charges
of yelling.

Speaker 3 (11:49):
Yeah, and I paid guilty on switching my mind last
minute back and forth.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
I think that these are both like, very like human things,
and I think it's really beautiful that you guys are
able to communicate this way. More people should communicate this way.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
I chalked it up to kind of like guilty on
something else.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
I don't changing your mind. My issue was I felt
like you thought I was just whining the fuck with you,
and like I was in active knew, and you kept
going just sit down. I was like, no, you don't understand.
I can't sit down. I don't want to sit down.
I want to lay down. I thought. Later I realized
I should have just gone and laid it down on
the couch, but that didn't occur to me, and there
was nowhere to lay down.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
It's dismissive of your.

Speaker 1 (12:27):
I felt like you were being dismissive.

Speaker 4 (12:29):
Well, I was thinking, in my head, if you want
to stay for the ride, you have to figure out
what's going to make it comfortable until you do, Like,
those were all kind of you problems, And I did
not mean to be dismissive.

Speaker 3 (12:37):
So I'm sorry because I do understand.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
And I knew you and I know and I know
you've had that, but I don't think.

Speaker 4 (12:41):
That I I don't think that I really understood the
extent of it until you it blew up and were
like I need to be in fetal position, and then
I was because there was so much other shit going
on that I was like hearing you, but you weren't
the priority in my mind.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
I totally get it, which id of anything.

Speaker 3 (12:56):
It's just like a lot of other ship that I
was dealing with.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
There was a lot of shit going on, and and
that was actually the worst pain I was in because
we did like the theme of the party was what
was it Kid's Choice Awards? Yeah, and during that, I
like really exerted my back in a really stupid way.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
During the red carpet, yes.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
And I did like a dance or something, and then
I'd been standing for three hours and so like that
was the worst pain. Like when I was laying in
bed that night, I was like, I don't know if
I would be able to sleep all night. Thank god
I did. But yeah, I'm happy we chewed through that.

Speaker 4 (13:23):
Me too, And I feel like, honestly, I wish that
I had more opportunity to be present at that party.
Like I think the person whose birthday it was got
a little more turned than expected, and I inadvertently chose
to step up and basically start hosting the party and
doing everything. So like my mind went from being a
directory into yeah, like making sure the k came out,

(13:45):
making sure like I wanted to take care of her
and be like she would do this for me, and
she did yesterday with a lot of stuff, but like
so in my mind I was like somewhere else. So
that's I think it was like a lot of miscommunication
or like misunderstanding mixed with a lot going on, mixed
with emotion, mixed with drinking.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
Not on your end, I was sober.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
I was sober, bober.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
He also said that it looked like I was wearing
a tablecloth.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
Okay, sorry, okay, that's all right. Yeah, but that was okay.
I have context for that, which is that was a
joke I was testing. Oh so I told like five
people that I was baseless, Like.

Speaker 3 (14:23):
Oh, I didn't know that.

Speaker 4 (14:24):
I thought it was because I was wearing that like
specific thing, because it does look like a doily top,
you know, the doilies that I might have thought of
you it's the the woven I think you gave it
to me.

Speaker 3 (14:37):
Potentially, it's like the woven one that's like very Caribbean. No,
it's like a Halter.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Carla on that one. I plead guilty of repeating a
joke at a party, and you were just the fifth
repeat that. You were not the reason I thought of it.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
But then you came up to me again and you
were like, I noticed you didn't laugh. Was it because
it wasn't funny or was there? And I was like, no,
it's just because.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
I get it now, I get why given everything you
were like, fuck back, you idiot.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
I really wasn't like that.

Speaker 1 (15:03):
It was supposed to be.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
It wasn't that deep on my end. I just was
so consumed with making didn't help my case went away.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
Yeah, I think.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
Yeah, what I'm hearing is like she didn't like she
wasn't even thinking about.

Speaker 4 (15:13):
You, literally, which is the actual problem, which is not
at all a nice thing to say, because the fact
that I was giving me a ride, you were telling
me your backmane, I should have held more space for
That's what I mean.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
I think that's the thing.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
There was just a coincidence. Is I didn't go with
someone else. I turned down a ride, Yeah, because I
thought I was going with you right away, So I
was like, why would I switch cars now? And I
should have just switched cars.

Speaker 4 (15:37):
So I think you should have switched cars or just
like get a new moment that you had.

Speaker 3 (15:42):
Your back face.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
I don't want to pay for the uber of thirty bucks.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
You got the money, baby, I mean.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
So it sounds like you pressured Pega and to getting
that expensive gas yesterday, and now this is me pressuring
to get that uber difference.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
We went to Costco and this is when you went.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Anyway, I'm happy we settled that out through some shit.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
So this guy, we're like, we're like pretty close friends.
I know him through like my husband, like his my
husband's work friend's husband is also one of my friends.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
Got it, And.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
We watch Real Housewives together, you know, it's all that
kind of stuff. Like we we have like a fun
relationship together, and we've always been like our humors like
kind of funny. Like my humor is kind of like
funny and mean and self deprecating, because like I think
that those are like the funniest things being a person.
But I think when you are a person, but I
think like when you're a person that's a little more

(16:37):
sensitive to things like sometimes like that cannot read well.
This person, however, is not that type of person. So
that's why I was very shocked by this. So I
sent this person an invite to Carla's show, and this
person also knows Carla, and he was like, yeah, like
normally he's like all in for my shows. Like he's
a very supportive friend. He's a very good friend.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
We love to hear it.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
No, he's really such a supportive, like good, fun like friend.
And somebody that is like kind of confrontational will let
me know of like there's something's going up, like something's
going on or whatever. And so I sent them. I
sent him the message and uh, it was like I
was like left on red and so I was like,
oh shit. And then I was sitting on the couch
with another mutual friend who's staying with us that also

(17:16):
knows that guy and my husband, and I was like look.
I was like, look, he left me on red and
they were like oh lo. And I was like, I'm
just gonna write Okay, I guess I'll go fuck myself.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
Then, which I think is just like yeah, it's.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
So like and they know me, and I feel like
you don't know me super Bowl, but I feel like
you know me well enough to know that I would
never like, actually they do it to be mean, you know,
like I thought I would make them laugh like and
get their attention, like I did it for attention basically,
like I was like, oh, and it feels like obviously
like to me that this is like for attention. And
then it was like they read it or he read it,

(17:50):
and then like two hours after was like, uh, what
the fuck? Okay, was this meant to be funny because
you missed the mark.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
Which I think is so dramatic, that's so mean.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
It hurt my feelings and I was just like, oh
my god. And I wrote back like immediately like lol, yes,
it was supposed to be funny. I was like, oh,
I dead ass, like did not think that you would
be upset by this. I feel so bad. I'm sorry.
And then like they read it didn't respond and I
was like, oh my god, Like it's like almost like
it felt like there was almost like something deeper with it,
like maybe like they're upset at me, up for something else,

(18:26):
and like maybe that's just something that triggered them, or
maybe it has nothing to do with me. They had
a bad day, But like I'm a mean, I'm Carla
knows this about me, and it's one of the things
she tells me to not do as much is don't
incriminate yourself immediately, even if you want to be accountable.

Speaker 1 (18:41):
That a little aggressive, though, Yeah, this is this is
my read, So you could have said just something more neutral.
I think would have been like just checking in. Yeah,
I don't think that has any implications. It's like they
didn't respond, you wanted a response or you're checking in,
But what you said it is funny and I like it.
I would have been like, our.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
The relationship is like that though, like we talk to
each other like that. That's the part that's confusing M.

Speaker 3 (19:06):
Like so that they didn't or he didn't.

Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah, well, the implication is a little bit that they
did something wrong, right, because you're saying, I guess I'll
just go fuck myself. Then it's as if it's like
it's like there, it's like you're saying, oh, so your behavior,
you're inaction, your lack of response is implying that I
should go fuck myself, So I guess I will just
go fuck myself. Yeah, so it's kind of suggesting putting
the honus on him, Yes, onus?

Speaker 2 (19:29):
Okay, yeah, I get that, and.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
I think it's onnus, not honus.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
Like you're honing in.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
I don't know, I just got fact.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
I can't wait for somebody in the comments to be like,
it's fucking illiterate.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
It's definitely onus. You would refer to something that is
one's duty or responsibility.

Speaker 2 (19:49):
Sure, but I think like it's also like you know
how we talk about like intent versus like intention or
whatever impact versus intention, Like I feel like this person
knows me well enough that like to come at me
like that was like kind of crazy, but Also I
was very apologetic because like my thing is my big

(20:12):
thing with anything, like if I in the future, because
I feel like we're gonna be friends, Like if I
ever hurt your feelings, like please know you can like
aggress me, and I feel like you would.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
I feel like you'd be like, hey, I didn't like that,
but like that, I.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Mean, there's nothing wrong with aggression, baby, It's how we
get to know each other. But like, I because like
you know, it doesn't have to be negative all the time, right,
But I uh, i'd like to think that they like
I like that they said what the fuck? Like okay,
but like I also feel like I left a really
good like apology that I meant.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
For my part, say, the apology covered the basis, rightah.

Speaker 2 (20:46):
Like so in my epology, which I was just like,
I was like, I'm so sorry. I was like I
was I never meant to upset you. I never could
have imagined that this did. And I'm sorry that I
did that. Like it wasn't even like that you felt
that ways like I'm sorry that you did that. I
was like, I'll be more mindful next time and how
I approach you. I just wanted to be silly with you.
So I'm again really sorry and I love you, and

(21:06):
that's all I left. But then they left me on red.
He left me on red, and like I, he's done.
I haven't, like, I don't know what I did. So
I'm almost wondering if, like I had done something over
like the course of time and like you know how
we were talking about picking up on cues, but I'm
trying to think were there any cues, Like was there
anything that I'd done last time I saw I saw
the I saw him last week and we were having

(21:26):
a great time. We were joking. Shit, he even was
like like joking and like saying like some funny like
punchy things at me I thought were hilarious personally, But
maybe that was the cue, maybe like he hates me.

Speaker 4 (21:38):
You got to ask the question all I want to,
but every also the question, Am I the ass Am?

Speaker 2 (21:44):
I the asshole?

Speaker 1 (21:46):
I think what you did was potentially like a little
aggressive and it has an implication, but you see, it
seems like you're close to this person. And then your
apology was completely full throated. Yeah, I would just say no.
I mean I kind of feel like it's no assholes
here though it seems like.

Speaker 4 (22:03):
The here I was gonna say, I don't think it's
even this deep, right, Like, the reason I tell you
to stop incriminating yourself is because everybody's in their own world,
like I said, and I feel like a comment like
that or a joke like that at the wrong time.
If this person's in their ego about something else or frustrated,
they read it differently, right, and then they're like great.

(22:27):
But I will say, even with the apology, the sting
might still be there. And this person shouldn't have left
you on red. Should have at least like said something like.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
I need space or woman have said something.

Speaker 4 (22:39):
But I do understand just like needing to walk away
from a text and like have three days and come
back and be like, I'm less upset now because I
know that I shouldn't respond in a state of like
feeling this way, because I can understand that the way
I'm feeling has nothing to do with her.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Yeah, my toxic trade is like when I'm left on
red for something, especially when I know I didn't do
really anything wrong, I'm necessarily not to say like I'm
taking away from like I'm just saying like in general,
not just specifically this when I know it's like I'm
not like the source of like pain or like discomfort
in a very serious, meaningful way. I don't like when
I feel like low key like abused, when that person

(23:16):
knows that that kind of stuff is traumatic for me
and makes me feel sad, it makes me feel like
uncomfortable and it will make me but they they know
that I'm emotionally mature enough to just like have a
conversation like this or should not even think about it
that much and just like know like okay, like I
did what I could do and like that's it. But
like on the inside, like I'm always battling with like
my mental health, like should I be should I should

(23:39):
I go fuck myself?

Speaker 1 (23:41):
Well, I guess interesting. I mean I'm wondering. I do
have a thing that I try to be a little
careful if I have a hard sorry and Paul's like
you went hard sorry on that, and I've noticed I
will feel a bad feeling if I go too hard.
It's like, just say what you need to say, like
you know, I don't know this. This is what I
try to do now instead of being like like you
went all the way in on I love you and

(24:02):
all these.

Speaker 3 (24:03):
Things overly apologetic.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
Yeah, yeah, like it's a little bit exposing, and like,
I don't know, I think it cost me, like my
dignity a little bit, so I try to just keep
it a little bit tighter.

Speaker 2 (24:12):
See, that's that's interesting to me.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Yeah I might.

Speaker 3 (24:15):
No, No, that's valid though too.

Speaker 4 (24:17):
And I'm not saying that this specific situation is this,
but maybe like parallel to it, when I'm upset about something,
to like, say, I'm that person you said that to me.

Speaker 3 (24:26):
I was upset by what you said to me.

Speaker 4 (24:29):
I express that to you in a kind of a
mean way as well, and then you responded in a
way that was really apologetic but was almost like potentially
then made the person feel bad again, where it was like,
oh now I feel bad that I made you feel
bad for making me feel bad.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
Right, But then it's just like just know that, Like
I don't know. I think the reason why I even
said it that way is because I wanted him to
feel safe, like I do love him, like I don't
want to hurt your feeling.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
Maybe wanted a response to yeah, right, And and by
being so vulnerable, you kind of overexpose yourself.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Right, And I guess like I just like wish, like,
you know, in a perfect world, like we could all
just like like even like kind of like what you
guys were just doing here, like that's like really beautiful,
like to be able to like have like open discussion
and conflict like that. That is healing. That's healing to
watch and it's healing to go through even if it's uncomfortable.
And I just kind of wish like we, like as
like a as a collective could be more comfortable with

(25:26):
like levels of confrontation that aren't like earth shattering, because
like even this it's not earth shattering. I know we're
still friends and I know it's going to be okay.
But just like even being like left on red or
like that like long time away like without like any
kind of anything feels so like painful even just like
for a second, and it's just like an unnecessary thing.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
But do you think maybe you wouldn't feel as a
survey if you had just said, like, so what so
you said, I guess I'll just go at myself And
then they said what did they say?

Speaker 5 (25:52):
Again?

Speaker 2 (25:52):
They're like wow, what the fuck? Okay?

Speaker 4 (25:55):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (25:55):
Was this meant to be funny because it missed the Mark,
so they're acknowledging that. I know, I was trying to
make a joke.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
So what if you had just said, hey, it was
Matt as a joke, my bad.

Speaker 2 (26:04):
Like I did say that at first in the night.
She then he left me on red and then I.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
And that's my question, though, do you think that maybe
you would feel better about the exchange had you just
been a little bit more measured, because it was almost
like you went so far, Like it's kind of like
you reached out, You're like, hi, no, I love you
and I'm so sorry, but instead of just being like, actually,
it was a joke, my bad, Like you acknowledge you
did something wrong, but you didn't really expose yourself. And
that way, if you're left on red, it's kind of like, okay.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Well, I feel like if they're in this sensitive of
a state, because they're not normally like this, I have
to reassure them that yes, like I didn't know what
so I did start with that, but then I was
left on red again. I was like, okay, maybe I'll
reassure again, like I feel bad for what I did.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
I feel a self betrayal. That's why I'm trying to
that's my knowledge about myself. So I usually try to
just keep it a little bit tight, like I'm gonna
acknowledge I did wrong, i did dirty, but I'm not
gonna lie. You got to protect yourself a little bit exactly.

Speaker 2 (26:55):
I'm bad at that.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
I feel like, yeah, I'm bad at that. So like
my chest is open and my guts are Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
I know, why can't we all just be like that
and like respect the guts, respect the gut, respect the guts,
keep it clean.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
So Carla had a big thing yesterday. I think we're
not supposed to exactly what it is, but you can.
But anyway, there's this detail that came out you your
I thought, this is really funny. Your grandma expressed you
that she wants you to find a boyfriend before she
passes away. A lot of pressure, so much pressure.

Speaker 3 (27:28):
She's eighty nine ninety. I think, now, let's go Carla.

Speaker 4 (27:32):
She's in a really good shape, though, I think she'll
be around for a minute.

Speaker 3 (27:36):
Walk she's walking. She's got like a little bit of
knee problem.

Speaker 4 (27:40):
She takes naps here and there, but like for the
most part, yeah, she's like wow, great mentally physically she's
the best.

Speaker 3 (27:47):
Looks like Nelson Mandela. It's kind of cute.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
She's such a beautiful her grandma was a little bit
like your child wife compliment.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
She looks great like Nelson.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
Mandela was so cute.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
He is real cute. He's also a guy.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
Yeah, but that's okay, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 4 (28:04):
Like no, she has the same features as far as
like the freckles, the gray hair, the type of curly
hair like my mom afro hair like.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
That, my mom. I always say this, My mom is
if Morgan Freeman and Sharka Khan had a baby. I
love that. And she does look like that. Yeah, she
really said that to her.

Speaker 3 (28:21):
She's like, oh my god, you're right.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yesella is also dead. I wasn't. Yeah, he's because the
Mandela effects has him dead and that in jail.

Speaker 3 (28:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (28:31):
But it's funny because I said that to my siblings,
like recently.

Speaker 3 (28:36):
I've been saying this for a long time.

Speaker 4 (28:38):
Ever since I saw one of those you know, those
kindness billboards or it's just like kindness and then it
has like a figure, like a.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
Popular figure paying for that.

Speaker 4 (28:45):
I don't know, but one of them was Nelson Mandela,
and I was like, that looks like a wella wow,
it's crazy. And then I said it like last year
or of my siblings and my aunts, and everyone was
dying laughing, dude, because they were like, yeah, that's so legit.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
And I told her too.

Speaker 4 (29:01):
She I don't think she registered. She kind of just
like ha ha and like I don't. I don't think
she really like understood.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
Real funny. You look like you look like a guy too, bitch.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
It's not about being a guy, it's about the features. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (29:17):
So she's been saying this for a long time. I
mean I've been single for six years now, just a
long time. I've been like dating here and there, but
nothing official, no official boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
Four so I feel that, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (29:31):
It's a long time.

Speaker 4 (29:32):
And since then pretty much she's been like, when are
you gonna have? You know the Latida where's white?

Speaker 1 (29:47):
White grandparents? Do that too, right?

Speaker 3 (29:49):
Grandparents to a degree. I want you to get married.
I want someone to love you.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
My grandparents they're like, you got married. I can't believe that.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
There's a brutal scene.

Speaker 3 (30:02):
They're white.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
Yeah, yes, I've me and my friends watch this movie
called It in the Bedroom. It's a great movie, but
there's a part where their son, their son gets murdered
and it's not a spoiler. Relax and the uh the friend.
The friend goes over and she's like, yeah, it's so
sad about your son. Yeah. And then she's like, yeah,
I know, it's really hard anyway. Has your family She's like, well,
my six kids now have eleven grand Oh my good god,

(30:26):
you can't even remember. She's like, non ten, that's what.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
Isn't this a comedy.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
No, it's not a comedy. It's just brutal drama.

Speaker 3 (30:33):
Damn that's funny.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
Is it hillbilly elogy?

Speaker 1 (30:36):
It's called in the bedroom? Okay?

Speaker 4 (30:38):
Yeah, but yeah. So she's been pretty adamant about it.
And then she has this whole thing where she tells
me to pray to San Antonio. And then one Christmas
she got me the statue right this literally Saint yeah
lost things of lost. Usually you prayed it when you
need to find things and that. So that's the thing is,
I was like, you have to have a boyfriend to
lose a.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Boy She's kind of spinning that a little.

Speaker 4 (30:59):
I think there's more to him than just that, because
I think he's also potentially something with babies, because he's
holding a baby.

Speaker 1 (31:06):
I'm a versatile sing.

Speaker 2 (31:07):
He's like the family, He's I don't know. I'm not
take family.

Speaker 1 (31:10):
I'm a match maker. Find raised cat. I was raised
my gill Art below Larry David.

Speaker 3 (31:16):
Oh yeah, but.

Speaker 4 (31:20):
Yeah, She's like, you get to pray to him nine
nights in a row and then that's it, you'll find
a husband.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
And I was like, do you know how hard it
is to pray nine nine in a row.

Speaker 4 (31:27):
I get to seven and then I forget and I'm
gonna start all over again.

Speaker 3 (31:30):
It's been six years.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
I've been trying to do this whole number.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
It's yeah, I don't know why nine, but come on,
card I love her and.

Speaker 4 (31:36):
So yeah, yesterday I brought it up because I was like,
it's a lot of pressure to like find a boyfriend
or love before you die.

Speaker 3 (31:43):
But also like I don't even want like if I
do find this, I mean you're gonna die. I don't
want you to like be like I can die happiness.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
As the prophecy foretold.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
Oh well, everyone dies.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
I guess that's true. I'm hearing that now they're saying
that the liberal media is saying everybody dies, especially.

Speaker 3 (31:59):
When you drink liquid death.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah, there we go. Our sponsored today should be liquid Death.
I'm not paying so much money for these. Murder your
my friend's favorite photo. So I have liquid Death, which
is if you guys don't know, it's like Seltzer water.
And then I have spin Drift in the fridge. And
my friend came over, who's just like the best person
I know, and you had one spin drift and then
he was like, hey, could I have another one of

(32:21):
the premium waters?

Speaker 3 (32:27):
That's hilarious, Like, yes.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
You can have all the water you want, my friend.

Speaker 4 (32:30):
But yeah, if anybody's out there who's single and you
want to help me make my willa happy. This sounds
really bad, but just follow me on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
There we go.

Speaker 3 (32:41):
I might not respond to you if.

Speaker 1 (32:42):
I don't like you, but hey, I love it. I'm
thirsty chance.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
But the Carla, that's not your problem. It's like Carla,
look Carla's she could be drowning a dick like this girl.
There's always dudes after Carla. Carla is rightfully so very
like I'm selectively.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
I don't know if dick is good for the commercial.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
That's not I'm not I'm not drowning in dick.

Speaker 4 (33:06):
I think people are always like if you wanted to
be in a relationship, you could be in one. There's
tons of people who want to be in relationship with you.
But I'm like, but that's not the point, right.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
The point is finding somebody who I feel like I
am compatible. Yeah, can go the distance.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
I feel like. That's like saying, like, do you know
you could jump in almost any fresh water lake and
be covered in leeches? That's so good, that's right there.

Speaker 4 (33:29):
I want to buy my leeches, folks.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
But there's also like fish please, Yeah, there's nice little
fish in there. Fish rate review, subscribe, join me, Join
us on Patreon. We just did a We honestly just
did a banger bonus episode. There's a lot of bangers
in there.

Speaker 3 (33:45):
You don't even have to go to therapy. You can
just go to the Patreon.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
Yeah, yeah, asolutely.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
Also, if you love tea and conflict resolution, listen to that.

Speaker 1 (33:58):
Sure us, I'm sign up for Patreon. It's five hours
a month, every single episode ad free, ad free, no ads.
The time stamps are accurate. Hunt. I think we're at
two sixty. There's at least two hundred and fifty bonus episodes.
Whoa so much content and you get one every single week,
and I don't take weeks off here at this podcast.
I really don't. I don't think I took a single
week off last year.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
I don't know what.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
I love it. I do it for the love of
the fucking game.

Speaker 4 (34:21):
Baby, listen, you sign up for Patreon Patreon, and you
let Danny talk you to sleep.

Speaker 3 (34:25):
Baby, hold your headphone.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
You know I took that as an insult when someone
first told.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
Me, Oh, no, because it's so boring.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
Yeah, exactly. I was like, well, it's a comedian them
enlivening and exciting.

Speaker 4 (34:37):
Yes, but it's also like I can't get enough, so
I'm trying to stay awake.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
To me, which watching and listening.

Speaker 4 (34:42):
That's what I do with shows I really like, I'll
fall asleep and then I'm like, oh, it's because I just.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
Want to watch. And if you're drifting off right now,
I hope you can your most your celebrity crush is
slowly taking their clothes off. Oh my god, caressing you,
licking your thigh, okay, licking my thigh? Right, why is
she licking my thigh? Why is he licking my thigh?

Speaker 3 (35:04):
He's going up to the private parts.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
He's calling you don't do.

Speaker 3 (35:08):
Any sinners spoilers, I haven't seen centners.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
Folks, or second story of the day. You're looking at
a center Aiita for refusing to let my friend bring
her emotional support dog to my housewarming party. Asshole, But first,
and I know we don't have children here, but this
one just had a lot of little layers and I
couldn't resist. It is a great pick by Carlos. I
don't know what to.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
Say about it.

Speaker 4 (35:31):
I picked them because I knew Danny Adaliz.

Speaker 1 (35:35):
Was going to be on This is good? Would I
be the asshole? Our first story, folks. Today's show is
sponsored by Better Help. There's a lot of stigma surrounding
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That's better Help HLP dot com slash ai Ta pod.
Would I be the asshole if I charge my friend
for her daughter ruining my furniture. Friend called last night

(36:57):
and asked if I could babysit her daughter while she
went to an eight pm showing of a movie. I
said okay, since our daughters miss each other. Around ten
thirty pm, my friend still wasn't back from the movie theater,
so I called my sister, who went to the movie
theater with her. My sister told me a friend had
no intention of coming to pick up her daughter after
the movie. What My sister offered to come pick up

(37:18):
our friend's daughter and showed up to get her. When
it's time for her my friend's daughter to leave, she
starts crying saying she wants to say, so I agree,
and sister leaves my house. Now it's morning and my
friend still hasn't said anything about her daughter and when
she's coming to pick her up. So I continue on
my day and make the girl's breakfast. After breakfast, the
girls start playing and my friend's daughter knocks over bubbles
on my TV stand and says nothing about it. About

(37:41):
an hour later, I see the bubble solution all over
my wood and TV stand and immediately start cleaning, but
the water damage is already done. I'm upset because I
just bought this TV stand in March as a birthday
present of myself, and now it's ruined. Plus it was expensive.
I feel like my friends should be paying for my repairs. Also,
I still have her daughter with me, so I feel
like she definitely owes me what she finally got picked

(38:04):
up at two.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Two pm?

Speaker 3 (38:07):
Right, God damn.

Speaker 4 (38:12):
First of all, I knew you would love this song
because I was like, it's oh my god.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
I feel like it's easy in a certain respect. But
more my question is about bubblegate bubble, because for me,
I'm like, God, you know, spilling bubbles, It's just like,
of course, of course, she spilled the bubbles like they're bubbles.
They still. I mean that almost is basically what a
bubble is.

Speaker 3 (38:34):
Yeah, do they say how old the kids are? They
say like four or something. I think in the com.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
Yeah, four years old.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
Okay, that's so young.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
They're super young.

Speaker 2 (38:46):
Okay, that's a little on her. You we watch a baby, right.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
I feel like on bubble Gate, I'm kind of like,
I don't know, I mean.

Speaker 2 (38:53):
But I get it because like the petty and me,
I have it. I have it, and when I have it,
it's hard and it's strong.

Speaker 3 (39:03):
What to be mad about? The TV stand right, Well,
I'm just like, first.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
Of all, like you left your child with me for
like damn near a month, Like I mean like a
full like what like twenty four so yeah, a full
twenty four hour and you haven't said anything, no checking in,
no asking if it was okay even, and then like
I'm exhausted, and then like your kid fucks up my shit?

(39:27):
I mean low key as a as a friend, like
if my kid if I okay, first of all, if
I had to leave my kid with you, for instance,
let's pretend I didn't check in at all, I think
you'd think something was wrong. Yeah, you'd call the police.
But okay, let's put pretend I'm even checking in Okay,
I'm checking and I'm like, sorry, can you keep watching
my kid? I'm trying to fuck like whatever it is, like,
you know, I'm trying to just live my life, and

(39:49):
like I feel like you would just be like, okay, yeah,
thanks for really me. No. Yeah, but then if my
kid fucks up your shit, I feel like my instinct,
like if you told me about it, would be like
let me pay for that. Like I would just cover it,
like because it's the least I could do. You were
watching my kid and then my kid fucked up your shit, yeah,
I'd feel ashamed number one, And then number two, I
would just like I'd be like, how much is it?

(40:11):
Let me let me help take care of that.

Speaker 1 (40:12):
If the situation was I'm I'm within the confined parameters.
In other words, she's babysitting the daughter from five thirty
to eight thirty or whatever, okay, and during that and
that's the agreement the bubble spill. Then I'm kind of like, yeah,
that's different. You're babysitting a child that you didn't think
about it. That's on you. Yeah, it was a supervised

(40:36):
But you're right in this case, it's because of the
fact that the baby was there for so long. Yeah,
that wasn't the agreement.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
It throws you off.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
And it's a lot of supervision, right, I mean, I
think you could leave a four year old alone for
enough time.

Speaker 3 (40:50):
But four year olds, two of them?

Speaker 1 (40:53):
Well but yeah, but you're but she like was forcing that.
Why are you saying that she did something irresponsible.

Speaker 3 (40:57):
No, no, no, we're just saying it's even harder. It's just
hard year old is yeah, supervisor, but there's two.

Speaker 2 (41:03):
There's a lot of brain development happening up four, there's
still baby.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
They this person essentially forced forced her to care for
the child. I mean, you just leave a four year
old outside. I don't know if that's illegal. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
You can't leave that left her out, You leave it
outside like a gated left her in society.

Speaker 3 (41:20):
Where's my daughter in the hammock?

Speaker 1 (41:22):
You left her here and we're done. There's no late fee.
But I'm not. I said you don't. You can't stay here? Yeah,
I mean I I think this is really fucked up.
You can't do this as someone You can't leave your
kids somewhere.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
No, that's just I mean, I I kind of am like, wait,
who's that? Who's that? Mama? Like what?

Speaker 3 (41:43):
I also am like.

Speaker 4 (41:46):
I think I need a little more info, And I
know there is a lot of info in there, but
like I don't know, did OP try to call the
mom from literally a PM to two pm the next day?
Couldn't she have gone and dropped off the kid? Like yeah,
that's a good question, Like she just took it. She
just like was like I have the kids and that's

(42:07):
it and that's that.

Speaker 3 (42:08):
Like I don't know. I would be like I have
shit to do.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
I would also be worried, like if you didn't like
respond to me, or like if I was watching your
kids and like neither of you guys are like responding
to me, I'd like very much assume something's wrong. Like
who just like leaves like the most precious thing in
their life, like even with a trusted person just like
somewhere without checking in or anything, like I check in
when I have BoJack with you.

Speaker 4 (42:29):
Oh yeah, because even the sister who came to pick
up the kid, was she gonna go drop the kid?

Speaker 2 (42:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (42:35):
Like yeah, what's like the shure is Danny's dog by
the way. Yeah, but yeah, I think this rule sam
ruels apply with a dog. I'm like, you know, I
mean certain dogs are extremely low Maine. It's like good
old Blowjack. But like, yeah, ipets had a husky, and
i mean that's a full time job. And yeah, I'm like,
if somebody left their husky with me even one day over,
I'd be like, you know, and then they're like, what

(42:57):
the fuck you didn't walk off? I'm like, you burden
me with the husky. You should be apologetic because you're
being the Kara. You didn't communicate and this just feels
like she got drunk or something, you know. She wrote
another edit here the kids were not supervised. My partner
was watching the girl, so she literally had to get
our partner in on this and our three month old baby.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
Okay kids, Yeah, that's a lot and a three month old.
So she has postpartum, so that already is like, yeah,
we don't factor that in.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
She's postpartum.

Speaker 2 (43:26):
Yeah, three months, like like that that your brain's fucked up,
like and managing like toddler to toddlers and like worrying
about like if like no that that the woman's Yeah,
she's a saint and somebody needs to fix her TV stand.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (43:42):
I also, I mean I was gonna say something against them,
being like, oh, they weren't unsupervised. But I think if
they were supervised and your partners saw it happened right away,
it wouldn't stain like it seems like it was sitting
for a while.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
Yeah, I mean you don't notice those things when you're
trying to like I mean, like I think a TV
stain is like so like on like the bottom list
of like keeping kids alive that are getting into things
like so yeah, it's very reasonable to like, oh, like
I see the bubbles there. It got knocked over at
some point I didn't see it.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
Maybe.

Speaker 4 (44:14):
Yeah, this is also a classic case of it is
what it is. Sorry, I do think that the person
should repair the TV. But I do think it's also
like when you buy a new car and then you
scratch it for the first time and you're like, fuck, dude,
like I just bought this car, but like over time,

(44:35):
you're gonna get more scratches, and you do have two kids,
like inevitably something's gonna happen to that TV stand. So yeah,
it's a sting. That somebody else caused it and it
was out of your control. But it is like something's
gonna happen.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
That's kind of a good point. It's kind of like, yeah,
there's there's something of like the delusion of newness. It's
I don't know, but some people are really good at
keep things in great shack.

Speaker 4 (45:00):
No, I agree, And I think the biggest thing is
that it wasn't her kid who did it, right, Yea,
if it was her kite, she'd be like, well, fuck,
I just felt that it was someone who wasn't even
supposed to be there.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
Yeah, I could be like I wouldn't be mad at
like the kid either. And it's not even like a.
I think it's like it's it's good to just like
simply ask. I don't think she'd be an asshole for asking.
And I think that the woman who's like, oh, I
don't really want to pay for it, like maybe like
soft asshole, but yeah, or.

Speaker 4 (45:25):
Put contribute, maybe not even pay for the whole thing.
Do you mind contributing to it's a conversation.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
Yeah, that all the comments go back so that the
kids were unsupervised. I mean to me, it's like you
you created a really huge burden by leaving your four
year old there. So if the kids were like you
could glance away to miss bubbles. I don't feel like
that's tantamount to neglect. It's ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (45:48):
No, the one who didn't come to pick up her
kid is the one.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
Who would it be the asshole if I charged my
friend for her daughter ruining my furniture. I do think
the way to do this would be to just be like, look, look, Annabelle,
you left your daughter here for for basically like for
hour on twelve extra hours. Yeah, twelve extra hours.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
That's crazy.

Speaker 3 (46:14):
Yeah, more like.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
She spilled bubbles. We were exhausted because we didn't plan
on taking care of your daughter for this long. She
spilled bubbles on my new TV stand. It is Ikea,
but it's new, it's new. Yeah, it's new. Yeah, And
I like, I'd like for you to pick that up
because it's my new TV standard. Like that's kind of fair.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want you guys to know,
if my kid ever did some shit like that, no
questions asked, I would like pay you back and repay
you for any damn You don't have.

Speaker 3 (46:48):
A kid though, right, no, not yet, but I will
broke my Faberge egg. Oh will you give me twenty
thousand dollars?

Speaker 1 (46:56):
I mean, I see, I think that's unreasonable. That's unreasonable.
I feel like you can't it.

Speaker 2 (47:01):
Don't have your Faberge a yet. Day out with my
kid there.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
Yeah, you should have said I can't have kids over.
I have a delicate home. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (47:07):
I also think the other thing is like, it's not
like the kid with the Faberge egg, right, Like if
it was on the top shelf and the kid climbed
the shelf and got it, that would be a different
thing than if it was on the bottom shelf and
they accessed it. So like these kids were literally just
being kids.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
Yeah, yeah, they bubbles.

Speaker 1 (47:22):
Yeah, it's totally normal. So uh verdict NTA and the neglectful.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
Mother, Yeah agreed.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
Yeah guys, these rareview subscribe Patreon, hundreds of bonus episodes,
everything that was an ad free you get it. Get
on it, patroon dot com, slash aa pod, Patreon dot com,
slash a t A pod, Come on, get on there,
all right, folks. Our next situation is a TA for
refusing to let my friend bring her emotional support dog

(47:50):
to my housewarming party. I twenty nine F just moved
into a new apartment and hosted a small housewarming. I
invited about ten close friends, include being my friend Emily
thirty one f who has an emotional support dog. I
made it clear in the group chat that I love
for everyone to come, but no pets is time because
I wanted to keep it simple and relaxed for the
first gathering. Emily messaged me privately and asked her she

(48:12):
could bring her dog because she feels anxious in social
situation and her dogs helps her stay calm. I sympathize
with her, but I still said no. I'm mildly allergic
to dogs, not severely, but I gets NEPHLEI and I
just cleaned. Plus one of the other guests is afraid
of dogs due to a childhood trauma. Emily got upset
and said I was being inconsiderate and excluding her. She

(48:34):
didn't come to the party and hasn't responded to my
text since. A couple of friends said I should have
made an exception for her because her dog is quote
basically medical, but others agreed that my house equals my rules.
I feel bad because I never wanted her to feel unwelcome,
but I also feel like I had the right to
set boundaries in my own home. Okay day, and we

(48:54):
were recording this next too, I.

Speaker 4 (48:56):
Was gonna say, I should we get BoJack's take on it?

Speaker 1 (49:01):
Really not supportive, you know, relaxing him.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
I mean, he is an essay for my anxiety, but
he has more anxiety than I have. So I'm really
I'm his emotional support human. That's very probable. Yeah, but yeah,
that this one's kind of tough because I think I
love bringing BoJack places. I don't have a direct medical

(49:28):
need to bring BoJack anywhere, but in the event that
I did, like you know, then I would I don't know,
I would want to respect my friend's boundaries like I've
had I've been wanting. I've wanted to bring BoJack to things,
like for other reasons, like because like no one can
watch him, or like all these other things. I personally
would just take the l on it. I wouldn't think

(49:49):
of it as an exclusionary thing because it's just like
this is just like what the person wants. I don't
think it's mean atty. I yeah, dogs, yeah, I mean
That's why I'm saying, it's like it's not about me. Really,
it's just like this is the boundary she wanted to
set just for this time. And if there's another person
who's deathly afraid of dogs, like you.

Speaker 4 (50:08):
Know, and the fact that it is a new house
and that she just clean and she's like kind of allergic,
I think it is unfortunate situation.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
But also like, I.

Speaker 4 (50:21):
Think it's like ten people in a house feels like
I get why you have your emotional support dog, but
also like I think you should be able to coexist with.

Speaker 3 (50:33):
Ten friends without your dog if you really want to go. Otherwise,
it's just, hey.

Speaker 4 (50:37):
I'm not coming because I don't think that I'm gonna
do well without my dog.

Speaker 1 (50:39):
I think that's I think that's a very fair thing
to say, just like I don't want to come. I
think my issues with this friend is calling uh op
and consider it yeah, fair, she's being in hearing the
fact that like there are other people involved, including myself. Yeah,
and then your dog is not everybody's bringing their dog,
you know. It's like you're gonna affect the whole party

(51:00):
here with your dog potentially too. There's also good boys
and bad boys and good girls and bad girls.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
Not every dog's like BoJack so true, but Jack does
not bar. I will say on a personal note, I
have been in situations similar to this, but people who
usually wouldn't bring dogs are like, you can bring BoJack
even though so and so is afraid of dogs, because
I think BoJack will be healing for them. And BoJack
indeed was BoJack is the healer.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
He really is.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
Like I have so many friends who are deathly afraid
of dogs, but like they meet BoJack and they're like,
oh my god, wait a dog can be like this,
And I'm like, yeah, like my little neighbors, you know,
my little neighbor girls they're so afraid of dogs are
from Algeria. Yeah, but they love him, like they want
to interact with him, and they come over to my
house and they do like dog therapy where they pet him,
they give him treats, and they walk him. Yeah, he's

(51:46):
a good and now they always offer to watch him.
So I have another babysitter gateway to dog. Yeah, That'sojack.

Speaker 1 (51:51):
On the other hand, you know, I think it's interesting
that we have this friend group has a trump dog
trauma person, which I have known one person who was
literally terrified of chihuahua's which was so fascinating.

Speaker 3 (52:02):
I get that they are terrified scary.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
Truly, if you have feet, you really can handle chihuahua. Yeah,
once swift. But it's like, but yeah, I don't know.
I've been thinking about this, right because I like game
night is one of the smallest events I throw because
usually the games kind of max out ten to twelve people. Right,
We're playing a new game this time excited, so I

(52:26):
don't know, I don't know how it works. But yeah,
some of the games are complicated too, so I prefer repeating.
But yeah, sometimes I'll get this anxiety about like, oh,
you know, I'm excluding I am excluding people right because
there's only twelve slots. Like that goes fast. But what
I've realized is, you know, if somebody were to call
me out or say something, I would just invite them
to something else. Yeah, And then I'm like that's really

(52:47):
the solution, you know. And now I'm having a huge
event on Sunday tomorrow, so like that's kind of the
way around, And you know, it's like just keep having
more social events, like, hey, I don't want your dog
at this time. I totally understand. Yeah, I validate that
we're gonna go to the park next week so you
can come, and then you would know, you would say, well, hey,
you know, Michael, I know that you were savagely attacked

(53:09):
by the those little Wiener dogs the great Wiener Dog incident.
And who could have possibly have seen that seven Wiener
dogs would enact such vicious terror upon you. It was
a serious Wiener dog incident. You know. It was in Vienna, ironically,
so you can't come to the park because it's so funny.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
Can't see my eye.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
But yeah, that's how you was good. You balance the
mutually incompatible friends, you know.

Speaker 4 (53:42):
Yeah, I agree, And that is like kind of a
kind of annoying thing to do. It's not annoying, but
it is something you have to do, you know, if
you want to have friends that are different and have
the things and accept them like that is what it is.
Sometimes one can't come, sometimes the other can't come.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
They hate each other, you know, the more drug Oh
my god, going.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
Through a friend divorce?

Speaker 1 (54:01):
Whoof?

Speaker 4 (54:02):
Or like the friends breakup wo uffies, those are the worst. Yeah,
sometimes there's a clear winner. I think I wouldn't say
winning because I'm a prize.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
But my last friend breakup I was a clear winner. Yeah,
but also like I don't really have friend breakups. Yeah,
I have like people that get annoyed with me, but
then they always come back.

Speaker 3 (54:20):
Hah, that's funny. I do feel like.

Speaker 4 (54:24):
We should also normalize like asking to be included or like,
I don't know, that's not really anything to do with
this post, but I had a situation recently where I
was like feeling like one of my newer friends was
like hang like I introduced them to other of my friends,
and then they were hanging out without me, and then
I was like feeling like, oh my god, like why
am I not invited to these things? And then I'm

(54:44):
suddenly getting invites from that person who is now feels
like they're better friends with this other person who I've
known longer. Yeah, And I had to kind of get
over my own ego where I was like I feel
some kind of way when reality like that person was
just hitting up my friend more than I was. No,
that's true, and so for me, I was like, well,
why the fuck are you guys hanging out all the

(55:05):
time together? And then I just had a conversation with
him one day and was like, I feel like I'm
being excluded from certain things and I wish that you
would invite me more. And I think some of that
has been from like me being busy and him asking
me to do things and me saying no. But it's
like the please keep inviting me, Like I'm not always
going to be able to go, but I don't want
to feel like just because I say no once means
you're never gonna me again.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
I think I could. I think I could pick that
moon a little bit.

Speaker 5 (55:28):
Well.

Speaker 3 (55:28):
I think chronic nos is a different thing.

Speaker 4 (55:31):
Like I have people who I invite to my shows
and stuff who are friends who are like, oh, no,
but keep inviting me, and I'm like, this happened recently
with a friend who I've invited for a year, has
never come to the show. And then recently when I
sent up the event yesterday, I said and they were like, no,
but keep inviting me. And I literally drafted a text
that I did not send that was like, why why
am I going to keep inviting you you don't come?

Speaker 1 (55:53):
I mean, I'm lining up with you. I think there's
this concept I learned once and that stuck with me,
just this concept of mind share. It's kind of like
a marketing term, I guess, but The idea is like
certain companies and I think people can just have mind share.
That just means they're on your mind, right, like what
you're saying. It's just as practical as they're hitting up. Yes,
maybe they're posting on social media or like you know,

(56:15):
I'm always bringing food to the social club, so it's
like I'm always kind of on people's mind. That's like
that's like something to do, and I think that's a
good way to like keep your friendships going. Group chets
are a great way to do it. Sending people memes
is a great way to do it. It's just like
you're keeping people in the loop. But I wanted to say,
I don't like that text. Sometimes I invite something to
people keep inviting me. Yeah, I don't like it. I think.

(56:38):
I think, first of all, it's kind of like I'm
inviting you to something and then you're hitting me back
with like no and keep doing more work. It's like, ah, well,
maybe you should invite me to something, and then I'll
continue inviting you. It's just like a little self centered
for me.

Speaker 4 (56:51):
Yeah, yeah, And I think, but I think sometimes it
depends on who you're doing it with. So like I
have people who I am friends with, who will be like, oh, oh,
do you want to do this thing? And I will
truly be like, I already have an event that night,
but like I would love to go a different time,
and then I do.

Speaker 3 (57:08):
But I'm not like that a lot more.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
Yeah, I would love that. I can't. Yeah, keep sending
me invites like you're giving me a command. It's making
me think, like, who fuck you think you are? And
I keep sending you invites? I think you're the fucking king.

Speaker 3 (57:19):
Yeah, but guess what.

Speaker 4 (57:20):
I keep sending the invice because as a producer, that's
the w like texting people to be like come to
the show kind of show feels like overbearing sometimes, so
the people are like, keep inviting me. I'm like, honey,
you're gonna keep getting spammed till the day.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
I well as a producer, right, but when it's a
personal event, that's I think that's the Yeah. For me, Sure,
it's like I love what you said way more. It's
like I'd love to go to the next one. Yes,
that's just more more gratitudes. Yeah, keep inviting you, keep
inviting you. You're not even here.

Speaker 2 (57:50):
That's how I felt.

Speaker 3 (57:50):
I literally was like I wanted to be like why why?

Speaker 4 (57:54):
Yeah, I've invited you to countless things, and you're constantly
choosing other things over this.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
There's a certain satisfaction and power power you get when
you get an invite. I'm not gonna bother.

Speaker 2 (58:05):
I have a horrible confession to make. I did that
the other night at your party. One of one of
our mutual friends was there and they had a show.
And keep inviting me, but I don't want to go.

Speaker 3 (58:17):
Wait what what party?

Speaker 2 (58:19):
Oh? Oh, I don't know. Am I allowed to I'm
scared to use just like a person.

Speaker 3 (58:24):
Person I'll tell you later.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
It's a person that I was like, keep inviting me,
but I don't have any intention of going.

Speaker 3 (58:30):
Oh oh, that's I was asking where you were.

Speaker 2 (58:33):
At your your at your thing yesterday.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
Oh yesterday, these things to balance?

Speaker 3 (58:38):
Oh, I think I know who you're talking about.

Speaker 1 (58:40):
Top comment. When nta service, animals get a reason to
come in public businesses, people are required to allow them
into their private space, like their home. This dog is
not medical equipment, it's an emotional support animal. If Emily
cannot attend a private party without relying on her dog
as a crutch, where the party is old people she
knows her has known she may need to look at
a different therapist. I can help her work through being
able to handle familiar people in a private social setting,

(59:00):
which she already knows that WHOA okay who The top
descending comment negative one hundred and fifty eight of votes.
So people didn't like it, Oh, robots, verse lions rites.
Disabled people use emotional support animals. The reason they don't
get protection isn't because they don't deserve it. It's because
government's ranked disabilities is less deserving and support than others. Yeah,

(59:22):
I think they were edit. Don't get why I'm being
downvoted for this factual information when the person below me,
who thinks they're correcting me literally provide an example of
my point their apply Oh Lily.

Speaker 4 (59:31):
Oh yeah, I think that got downvoted because it sounded
like he was siding with the friend with the dog,
when in reality, I think he was.

Speaker 3 (59:38):
Just literally stating like a fact opinion.

Speaker 2 (59:43):
Yeah yeah, Like he was.

Speaker 4 (59:44):
Like giving a blurb about something with no opinion attached
to it, but it came off as him defending the
dogs friend.

Speaker 2 (59:52):
Yeah. I feel like this also like kind of feels
like and I hope I'm finding the right words for
this one, because I feel like the point I'm going
to make is gonna be so poigty and so smart.

Speaker 3 (01:00:01):
Hell yeah, I hope it sounds that way.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
I hope it sounds that way. I feel like we're
sort of like in a we're like in a turning
point of society where we hi We're we're like in
our We're in our recognition era, like recognize like the
hardships I've went through, Recognize my invisible illness, Recognize my
racial discrimination, recognize my class status, Recognize all these things.

(01:00:26):
And that is all very good, Like that's a very
good thing that's happening. But I think what's happening is
like there is like there's like these like demands for uh,
like where when people have certain boundaries for things that
aren't necessarily like oh you should take this l because
you're mentally ill. It's like, oh, like I don't have
the capacity to have your animal here at this time

(01:00:48):
and moment, but I would love for you to be
there if you can find a way to be there
kind of thing. But that is taken as an l
for like, oh, you you don't believe that I have
this thing and you are being dismissive of like this
whole way thing that I have.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
It's very self centered. Yeah right, It's like, uh, well,
actually there's two people who have traumas. You marite an
emotional support animal and very person here is apparently attacked
by dogs. Like those are both valid.

Speaker 4 (01:01:10):
Yeah, and the one attacked by dogs isn't bringing a
dog to the house.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
Right, so they get But also and it's like, right,
I think like we're getting.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
I see what you're trying to do, but the math
got weird there.

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
Right, But I guess like to kind of like cap off,
what I'm going to say is like I think like
we get into like this weird zone, and I feel
like that's kind of like the beauty of like gen Z.
Like gen Z's reminding us that, like, you know, our
experiences and our traumas are like valid. But then we're
also like kind of like in a space where it's
like okay, but then there's like also like real life
and other people around us that also have traumas and
experiences that are valid, and like not one cancels out
the other.

Speaker 4 (01:01:42):
Yeah, you can't be like overally accommodating in a way, right,
goes against accommodating yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
Right, But even like listening to you, like read that thing,
it just sounded like people just kind of like talking
over each other and not getting to the point of
like these people can have like separate lives and separate
opinions on like how these things go, and like no
one has to just respect anyone, yeah, just because like
they're not.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
And that's it. It's it's also just like, you know,
Emily's just coming in hot and consider it excluding her,
and for me, those those are the dings, you know.
I think it's like, look, there's there's valid reasons and
and it's like my house, you know, and it's going
to be extra labor.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:02:18):
I really wanted op to be like, I'm so sorry
you feel that way. You should address your dog about it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
I'm happy to have a dog here, but like, yeah,
if I was in the situation, I would just balance
it out with different friends. But kind of I also
just think it's like some people don't like dogs as
much as I do, you know, and they're right. It's
like it's not it's not a double standard. Nobody else
is bringing their dog.

Speaker 2 (01:02:42):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
Antia for refusing to let my friend bring her emotional
support dog to my housewarming party. I think I'm at
the dog owner is the asshole not OP, so it's
NTA and the dog owner is the asshole? A great
because they were they were firing shots at OP.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
Fully agree. Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 (01:02:57):
Guys, please rate review, subscribe to me on Patreon to
and fifty plus bonus episodes every single episode and f
forre you get on there, picture dot com slash Antia
pod folks were wrapping up this is wow for our
personal chef guests for my hosting era Carla, who just
hosted an amazing event. This is so perfect ender folks. Hey,
I A for bringing food to my friend's party. I

(01:03:20):
got this friend I'll call Steve. Great friend, but not
a great host. He throws parties which are fun and enjoyable,
except for one problem every time, not enough food. He
had a game night. There were ten people other than
him and his wife, so that's twelve people. Ordered two
large pizzas and one small specialty pizza. This is from
Dominoes if you're curious about the size. For some listeners

(01:03:41):
like I know exactly what, that's not enough pizza. Besides,
there was an order of garlic knots. So the party
was fun, but after a couple hours I was I
was hungry again and overheard another couple talking about getting
food on their way home. Next time there was a
get together, I offered to have me and my wife
bring a dish. He insisted he had food covered. We
show up and again only enough for everyone to have

(01:04:02):
one serving of the pasta he made. It really just
wasn't enough. I don't think it's a matter of cheapness,
because the problem is only for food, not for drinks.
He shares his liquor cabinet and always buys plenty of
beer and wine. He also always happily brings dishes for
potlucks at other houses. For the next get together, I
pitched the idea of a potluck. Some other friends signed on.
I'm sure you see where it's going. New Year's Eve

(01:04:22):
he hosted. We ran out of snacks before midnight, and
a couple people ended up dipping to go to another party.
He seemed annoyed, but I don't think he made the connection. Finally,
last weekend, hosty again, I didn't even ask. I decided
I would just bring a dish and snacks. He was annoyed,
but didn't say anything. He was just short and avoided
me for most of the evening. Next day, he texted
me saying it was rude to bring food to someone
else's house like that. I apologized and said I was

(01:04:45):
just trying to be helpful and reminded him about foul
food had run out at previous get togethers and I
was just trying to help avoid that. He got mad
and accused me of saying he's a bad host. I
told him I didn't think that was true at all,
just that his food estimation and abilities needed work, and
that leftovers aren't a bad thing.

Speaker 3 (01:05:00):
Wow, yeah, I mean that's loaded.

Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
Yeah. I feel like, well, you know, we're all like
culturally Latino here, Like I feel like it's like we
bring food even if we know there's gonna be too much,
yeah kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (01:05:13):
It's like, yeah, I think there is an etiquette on
what you can bring, right, You wouldn't bring a main
you'd probably ask if you're gonna bring, of.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
Course, yeah, but you bring you don't come empty hand
to the.

Speaker 1 (01:05:25):
Sy Yeah yeah yeah, correct or deserves and why people
follow those roles too.

Speaker 3 (01:05:30):
But it's just a good thing in general all cultures.

Speaker 2 (01:05:33):
And like I mean maybe I was like missing something
here and maybe you can refresh my memory, Like are
they close friends?

Speaker 1 (01:05:39):
Seems they're in a friend group.

Speaker 3 (01:05:41):
Seems like for years they've been friends or something like.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
I wouldn't mind if, like, you know, especially if like
I'm just like doing pizza and stuff and I'm not
like trying to like who cares if you bring a
maine or something more the merrier.

Speaker 4 (01:05:53):
One pizza for twelve people is in large.

Speaker 3 (01:05:59):
A lot of it was one large and one specialty.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
Two large pizzas and one small specialty.

Speaker 3 (01:06:04):
That still doesn't feel like enough for twelve people.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
Yeah, because if each person needs to at least like
two slices.

Speaker 1 (01:06:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:06:10):
I also am on the edge last night at the event.
I was stressing about having enough food for people, and
that was like my main stressor was like, am I
gonna have enough snacks?

Speaker 3 (01:06:20):
Am I gonna have this? There's twenty people coming? And
we did it. We had plenty.

Speaker 4 (01:06:23):
We had I had over like the things that were
left over, like bags of chips, but I felt.

Speaker 1 (01:06:27):
Really good because you know it was long gone.

Speaker 3 (01:06:30):
The cookie Yeah, they were gone.

Speaker 4 (01:06:33):
We just had like an excess of like tortilla chips
and nuts, like the things that you know people don't
really you know.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
But also there as somebody that like does lots of food.
I kept trying to tell you. I was like, no, Carly,
you have like a lot. This is for sure, it's
gonna be a lot. And I understand why you're anxious.

Speaker 4 (01:06:46):
But like the other thing too is I think what's
interesting about the situation is for me, I was like,
I want to always make sure I have enough food
when there's alcohol involved.

Speaker 3 (01:06:56):
If people are drink that's fair, yeah, alcohol, beer, wine.

Speaker 4 (01:07:00):
I want you to not feel like fill your belly
with food so that you can be okay, Like I
don't know. So what's interesting about this is he seems
very gracious and overly prepared with his liquor cabinet, but
then doesn't provide any kind of sustendance or anything after that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
So taking it so personally, actually though, I think this
is kind of a tough one because sometimes you don't
know how many people are gonna come. So we're having
this cookout Sunday, Yeah, and you know, we got like
I think forty eight yes, is I'm partifle and I'm like,
I don't know. Sometimes Partifle is like ninety percent, ninety
five percent, but sometimes it's like fifty percent. Yeah, so
and it's you know, it's competitive weekend more day weekend.

(01:07:40):
So like we got food for like forty but like
if people are hungry, like you never know people are hungry,
we might run out. But where this guy really rubs
me wrong where I'm like, you just feel like a
little crazy to me, like one serving a pasta bro
that's too little.

Speaker 4 (01:07:57):
Yeah, I think it's depending on how big the survey is.
But for sure, like even I've gone to your dinner
parties and I've had one serving apasta, not because there
wasn't enough, but.

Speaker 3 (01:08:07):
Like I think you do a good job knowing exactly
how much.

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:08:10):
Obviously you're a chef too, so you like understand, but
like there's always been a point where it's like just
the right amount where there are no leftovers. Yeah, and
maybe later I get hungry again, but it's not We
have snacks, yeah, exactly like you have.

Speaker 3 (01:08:25):
You'll bring out cheese, you'll bring out crackers, yes, cookies.

Speaker 1 (01:08:28):
You have extras, like you know, to graze on and
make sure that no one's leaving hungry. I mean I
think that's a big part of a party is like
somebody told me this that you know you want to create.
Eating at a party immediately creates bonds and like lets
people relax, and I like to go even farther and
like feel like abundance, abundance, like there is too much
food here we have to eat, almost like a pressure

(01:08:50):
to eat, and just feeling like that you couldn't exhaust
the resource. I think that creates a sense of like,
you know, getting out a scarcity mindset, and that creates
even more psychological comfort. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:09:00):
I also have an issue with the world in general,
mainly America, with over consumption that I do think is
a little bit too much. So like what I do
appreciate sometimes is you having snacks, but not more of
the pasta, more of the other thing, because I will
overindulge when I don't have to because it's fucking good. Yeah,
I just like tasting things.

Speaker 1 (01:09:21):
Honestly, I don't blame America because you had too much
of the pasta.

Speaker 4 (01:09:25):
What I just like beyond that with the things, It's
like we have been conditioned to eat more than we
really have to, and it's unproportionally the specific thing, so
like we used to eat more meat or more.

Speaker 1 (01:09:38):
VEGETI but when I feel like at a party, that's
usually when I am indulging. I try to very like
reasonably at home when it's just me, I'm not celebrating,
I'm not having fun, but I'm out with friends. I'm
not gonna be like grapes. No, I'm gonna fucking house
those grapes.

Speaker 2 (01:09:54):
My husband also, he just like eats for like four people.
So when I like, yeah, serve like, I have to
make like because he will always get seconds. He will
always and I give him a good hefty first like
plate and he.

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
Will always get your man.

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
I mean, he's like the big guy. He's like six
four and like, again, guys, my husband's hot.

Speaker 4 (01:10:15):
He also that man we heard he also exercises, so
I do feel like it's like calorie consumption versus his
workout is, Yeah, you gotta eat a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:10:24):
Like he runs a lot and lips weight, so I'm
when I run, yeah, but he he eats a lot.
But it's hard when I have a dinner party because
like he'll eat more than like, I'm like, I've portioned
this out. He's like, but it's good and I wanted.

Speaker 3 (01:10:37):
I'm like brouh there's other people.

Speaker 2 (01:10:39):
Here's other people here.

Speaker 1 (01:10:41):
I do think, you know, I've noticed this, so I
think there's a double edged sword here, like I've noticed
you know. I'm on my baking journey. I made these
cookies and I told Carl. I was like, yeah, I
kind of fucked up the cookies because basically the taper
chips melted so they were they looked like marble, so
you can't see the chocolate chips. Actually they actual I
think looks pretty aesthetic.

Speaker 2 (01:11:01):
They looked beautiful.

Speaker 4 (01:11:02):
Yeah, when you told me, you were like, there were
chocolate cookies with chocolate chips, And I was like, great,
I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:11:06):
If you edit this video, you should put a picture
of like the cookie. You should.

Speaker 1 (01:11:10):
But but yeah, I've noticed too, and I was like,
I need to stop doing this because what people view
as wrong or whatever. It's like in other words, like
don't don't undertell yourself. It's like, don't even tell it's
a mistake.

Speaker 3 (01:11:22):
Yeah, I'm very.

Speaker 1 (01:11:23):
Conscious because I want a clock and I want to
learn and get better. And so that's my real gripe
with this character. It's like, bro, you're not learning that
people are still hungry, Like you're not even checking the
room for that. Yeah, Like I don't know. I can't
think of any party I've had recently where I'm always like,
please take it, Please take some of the food. Don't
leave all this food he or I don't want to
eat it, you know. So like that's kind of crazy

(01:11:44):
to me that this guy's just like, yeah, a perfect party.
I'm like, bro, people are hungry, Like, how you not
clocking that? How you not asking?

Speaker 3 (01:11:52):
Especially the New Year's Eve one that's huge.

Speaker 4 (01:11:54):
You want people to stay past midnight and keep chilling
or stay till midnight.

Speaker 3 (01:11:59):
Yeah, you got to keep it a reason for them
to stay.

Speaker 1 (01:12:02):
Yeah, yeah, yep, yep, yep.

Speaker 3 (01:12:05):
Yeah, it sounds like he's a bad host.

Speaker 4 (01:12:06):
I also want to say that I don't like, has
op ever said anything to this person about it, like
or they're just going to a party and just witnessing
it every time and never saying.

Speaker 1 (01:12:18):
Shit, I don't think he directly said it. And then
so then his solution is he just shows up with food.
I do think that's rude. Do you think it most
contents rude? Yeah? Well, I think, like I said, there's
kind of like an undercut a little bit exactly. If
I say, like guys come over, like I have a
movie night here, and I'm always like dinner, the dinner
will be certain that I say what it is I

(01:12:38):
would want. If someone was gonna bring like a dinner,
I not chips. The boys bring popcorn and shit, but
like if I'm making like I make like, you know, cucumber, cucumber,
solid rice chicken. So if someone shows up like a
cast role, I kind of would expect I would probably
wouldn't be mad, but I might I might feel a
little huffy because if they had to like can I
bring your castro have been like yeah, of course, but

(01:13:00):
it's kind of a permission thing because you are, well,
what did you say, undercutting?

Speaker 3 (01:13:03):
Undercutting really a little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:13:05):
I would never think that for me personally, Yeah, I'd
be like I'd be like, wow, like thanks for doing that.

Speaker 1 (01:13:12):
Well, but don't you just kind of like thoughtfully put
together your menu and just kind of like pair of things.
And they show up with some random freedo cast roles
like get the fuck out of here with your nasty
cast role.

Speaker 2 (01:13:22):
I mean that's different, but like it sounds like this
guy only gets pizza and like other bullshit, and like
this person's like like I mean that that to me
is different, like yeah, like I guess that's an undercut.
Like if like I made like a delicious, like uh
freaking three cup chicken, like you know, Cantonese style meal,

(01:13:43):
and then like someone brings freaking hamburger helper, Like yeah, yeah,
that would piss me off, but not because it's undercutting,
just because it's like, don't piss me off with the
help you're gonna like if they wanted to bring like
perfectly steamed white rice or like something like that's like
comparable or that adds to the meal, or like a
sala it even like any kind of salad that's okay
with me.

Speaker 1 (01:14:02):
I feel like it's a get primish.

Speaker 4 (01:14:04):
Well, I think your thing is like with the undercutting,
which is similar to the when you hired somebody to cook.

Speaker 3 (01:14:10):
For you thing. Right, So if I go to.

Speaker 4 (01:14:16):
Your house, right and you're cooking something, but I bring something,
and then we eat the food that the host had, right,
and then two hours later you're still hungry, Then suddenly
Carla's dish is the star and everyone's remembering, good thing
Carla brought this other dish because host didn't provide enough.

Speaker 1 (01:14:34):
Food that would be with that ran out of food
and thank god.

Speaker 4 (01:14:39):
Well yeah, but I think this host isn't taking it
that way where they're taking it, like, oh.

Speaker 2 (01:14:43):
This guy's ordering fucking dominoes, not even this is literally
like two for one Broxtra. I almost brought dominoes to
your thing, but I'm glad we didn't because it would
have been too much food.

Speaker 3 (01:14:55):
We almost did.

Speaker 1 (01:14:56):
Casts he's a bad host, I'd say. The only thing
on op is I think that's a reach. Also, I
love the collabo, you know, like, hey, is it okay
if I bring eggs?

Speaker 5 (01:15:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:15:04):
Yeah, Like I think that's where we're kind of lining up.
I feel like we're very close. Ooh, Danny, that's a
little irrelevant to bring your chocolate chip cookies. Why don't
you bring see white rice? I'm not I can handle.

Speaker 2 (01:15:15):
That, honestly. You could bring those chocolate chip cookies up anyway.
Like the point is, it's like I usually just tell
people not to bring anything because I I am. I
provide a good amount of food. But if I was
in a world where I wasn't a chef, I don't
provide I don't have like any kind of like like
awareness of how people eat or how much people eat

(01:15:36):
and like I'm ordering fucking Papa John's or whatever it is,
and then it's not enough and somebody wants to bring
Hamburger helper Like that's equivalent, Like I like, it's too
much of a throw.

Speaker 4 (01:15:47):
How would you This is just my curiosity. If you
were Opie and you did decide to say something to
the friend who was hosting, how would you say something
like that? If I was op If you were OPI
and you wanted to tell this guy like you never
have enough food?

Speaker 3 (01:16:01):
Like, how would you?

Speaker 4 (01:16:02):
What would do you think would be an appropriate way
or like a gentle way or whatever to say?

Speaker 3 (01:16:06):
How do you bring that up? How do you bring
it up to the person? Is there a way I would.

Speaker 1 (01:16:10):
Make it about me? Yeah, I'd be like, hey, I've
just been working out a lot lately, and i know
I'm going to be starving.

Speaker 3 (01:16:16):
Oh that's smart, you know, But that to me feels
like they eat before.

Speaker 1 (01:16:23):
Yeah, he might he might come back with that. There
I would say is there going to be enough food?

Speaker 3 (01:16:26):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (01:16:27):
Or like, hey, how what is the amount of food
going to be? I guess this person, op just feels
like it's a constantly.

Speaker 3 (01:16:33):
Not enough to the point where other people feel it too.
So it's like you need a tip on your hosting guy.
You're not being aware of tucket.

Speaker 1 (01:16:41):
You're just not self aware. It's like, wake up, bro.

Speaker 2 (01:16:44):
I think I would say this, But I'm also again
a very aggressive, like to the point person like I
don't do any niceties. I'm just like, you don't have
enough food. I'm going to bring something. What do you
want me to bring? Yeah? Just direct, like just like
you just never have enough food. And then if that
person came back to me, like let's do improv, you're

(01:17:04):
the other person. You don't have enough food. I need
to bring something. What do you want me to bring?

Speaker 4 (01:17:08):
I think that I have plenty of food, so don't even.

Speaker 2 (01:17:10):
Worry about it. You definitely don't. So I'm gonna bring something.
I'm thinking of bringing. You're getting pizza, right, So I'm
thinking of bringing like something for nachos and I'll just
throw it in your oven.

Speaker 3 (01:17:21):
Okay, well that sounds good. Maybe I'll just order more
pizzas too.

Speaker 2 (01:17:26):
You can order more pizzas, just whatever. But I'm just
I'm I I know that other people they're not gonna
let you know that they need food. But I'm letting
you know because I love you and I want to
make sure that you're providing and like I can help
with that, like it's not on you, Like I can help.

Speaker 3 (01:17:40):
You with that.

Speaker 1 (01:17:42):
That was great. I love that. Yeah, you're on. Okay,
this is how it actually goes. So you just do
it again. That you're gonna bring the nachos.

Speaker 2 (01:17:48):
Just from the nachos.

Speaker 1 (01:17:49):
Yeah, just tell me you're gonna bring something.

Speaker 2 (01:17:50):
Yeah, I'm just gonna I'm thinking about just like bringing
the nachos, and like it's like do yourself. There's no bringing,
there's no bringing.

Speaker 1 (01:17:57):
No I make the food for the party. We're getting
too large pizzas and especially pizza. That's all.

Speaker 2 (01:18:01):
Can I pay you for more so you can get
more pizza.

Speaker 1 (01:18:04):
There's no more pizza. That's the right amount of pizza.

Speaker 2 (01:18:06):
Okay. Then I'm going to eat ahead before I come over.

Speaker 1 (01:18:08):
Go ahead, eat ahead. Okay, Yeah, that's it all right, cool,
see you then hangs.

Speaker 3 (01:18:14):
Up, love you, hangs up.

Speaker 1 (01:18:18):
Yeah, I mean I mean that that wouldn't throw me.

Speaker 2 (01:18:20):
That would just be like, okay.

Speaker 4 (01:18:21):
I think the problem is not the eating ahead, it's
the later. It's the hanging out later and then being
hungry again, that's the real issue.

Speaker 1 (01:18:28):
What do you do then, because that's me is a
pretty low crime, and.

Speaker 3 (01:18:31):
Then you just leave.

Speaker 2 (01:18:35):
Like, okay, let's we'll play again. We're there, we're there,
there's no food? Was after? Can I door dash something here?
I'm hungry?

Speaker 1 (01:18:43):
No with one food session per hang.

Speaker 2 (01:18:48):
Well, I'm gonna do it for myself. Does anybody if
you know?

Speaker 4 (01:18:52):
That's when I would literally be like, does anybody want
to go get food? And then everyone fucking leaves your
party because that's.

Speaker 2 (01:18:58):
What you're doing.

Speaker 1 (01:18:59):
I like, does anyone want to go get food?

Speaker 2 (01:19:01):
Essentially what I'm saying like, I'm like, we're gonna bring
it here, We're gonna go out there.

Speaker 1 (01:19:05):
Like it's just like you, you're gathering everyone to leave now.

Speaker 3 (01:19:08):
It's like who's with me?

Speaker 2 (01:19:10):
See that? To me is like kind of more mean,
But I like it. I like it. I like it.
I would do it.

Speaker 1 (01:19:16):
It's just like, have enough food or invite less people there?
Need you need a bogey? This this is not a
birdy situation. Go over on the food.

Speaker 4 (01:19:24):
Yeah yeah, yeah, you provide it or people are gonna
go look for it elsewhere.

Speaker 1 (01:19:28):
Antia for bringing food to my friend's party. I think
this was a minor a minor error. But in the end,
I'm like, bro, who has Danny just spuilled water all
over herself and there's plenty of water, don't you worry, honey.

Speaker 3 (01:19:39):
But it's like beating off her shirt. It's not even
like absorbing.

Speaker 1 (01:19:41):
It's absorbing. I met not the asshole, and this guy is.
I think this is no way to have people over
your You gotta you gotta have an abundance.

Speaker 3 (01:19:50):
I agree.

Speaker 2 (01:19:51):
Wow, we've agreed on all of them.

Speaker 1 (01:19:53):
Yeah, I think you're fought. On the bonus, we did so.

Speaker 3 (01:19:56):
Much fighting, Yeah, so much addressing. As Danny would.

Speaker 1 (01:20:00):
Say, guys, that's the show. Plug away. She met the
other Danny, not me, But.

Speaker 2 (01:20:05):
Yeah, I agree. And I think aggression is good if
it's positive.

Speaker 3 (01:20:10):
Yeah, I agree. Yeah, we all just keep saying we agree.

Speaker 1 (01:20:13):
Follow Funky I agree.

Speaker 4 (01:20:15):
Yes, you can follow me on Instagram at fun underscore
k E had a screening last night of a sketch
comedy pilot. We weren't saying that earlier, but it's gonna
eventually come out to public.

Speaker 3 (01:20:26):
Maybe some clips. Check it out.

Speaker 2 (01:20:28):
It's really funny, and you can follow me. I have
two I just started a funny cooking instagram for fun.
It's mostly for my friends, but it's kind of becoming
a thing. I have like over a thousand followers. Like
pretty much organically. I only paid for one ad, two ads.

Speaker 3 (01:20:43):
Still organic, so organic.

Speaker 2 (01:20:47):
But it's at vocal air fry.

Speaker 1 (01:20:50):
That's my Instagram.

Speaker 2 (01:20:51):
I'm cute, yes. And then my TikTok is where I
have my bonus content and that's vocal air Fryer. Oh,
I didn't even know that.

Speaker 1 (01:21:00):
There we go, all right, I know that they were different. No, yeah, alright, Boks,
that's a show. We'll see you next time, babes.

Speaker 2 (01:21:07):
See yeah y

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724 AITA for bringing food to my friend's party? (ft. Karla & Dani Adaliz)

New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce